Can socially awkward people become great at conversation?

[@bweb6]

KZbin saw my last college presentation and said 'check your recommendations!'

[@Diamondraw4Real]

Haha

[@PeterTMT]

"Is there something wrong with me?" - I wonder how many people ask themselves this question on a daily basis.

[@watvid1]

I say to myself "Even if there is, who gives a fuck"

[@yeid44]

@@watvid1 Yourself, that question wouldn't exist otherwise

[@notoriusdrifter40]

Every fucking day man, every fucking day i find a way to make myself go downhill. I hate it

[@Rotation364]

Every day dude

[@SadisticKillerXx]

Fckng sucks man

[@TheCaptainobvious65]

Being socially awkward has been a topic for me for the last couple of years. And what always helped me was the thought that everybody worries the most about themselves. That means, the people you talk to (even when it's awkward) are foremost preoccupied with themselves. Not with the way you talk/act. And if you factor in that they talk to lots and lots of people every day your maybe-weirdness is probably not even a blip on their radar. So just take it easy and take it interaction by interaction. For every 10, 50 or 100 interactions you're going to have there's going to be 1 conversation that's going to go really smoothly. Be proud when that happens and appreciate it - you deserve it! In my experience, it will become easier to be less awkward every day. It's a process. But what isn't these days lmao

[@Channelobunnies]

Improv classes really helped my ability to have conversations -- but what put me over the top was doing a year of a weekly podcast where I led a conversation with three guests. Trial by fire--just threw myself in. Didn't get many listeners for that particular podcast, but got a good life skill out of it.

[@tinttiakka2028]

I watched some random youtubers in quarantine for how to be more confident and how to speak better with people. I felt like a robot learning how to be a human. But it worked and I had good conversations with people

[@justincren8259]

@@tinttiakka2028 Got any suggestions?

[@brett.jordan]

Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you.. you could, you’ll do, you.. you wants, you, you could do so, you.. you’ll do, you could.. you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?

[@punu3675]

Have you?

[@JoseMartinez-ig4lx]

But of course

[@francis_n]

Brenden's body language and facial expression in those conversations reminded me of how I look and feel when in a conversation with new people. I can totally relate. I am the same. Cam looked so grounded and warm in those conversations. I know lots of people like Cam and always wonder how they do it. P.S. Like the shout out to Ali Abdaal. There's quite a KZbinr network lately: Goal Guys -> Ali Abdaal -> Thomas Frank -> Matt D'Avella -> Nathaniel Drew

[@Yexoviche777]

Great topic and great video. Would love too see an evolution over a few months.

[@davey_gravy]

Really appreciate you trying out a new challenge like this. We all know you have the fitness one's dialled, so this was an ACTUAL challenge. Very refreshing.

[@ResanChea]

The ending part made me feel pretty uncomfortable. Talking to strangers is the most daunting task ever

[@JeffZuccMusk]

Nah talking to people you kinda know is the worst. Talking to total strangers is easy.

[@N21theboss]

I actually started watching this channel a couple of years ago because of you, Brendan. I enjoy fitness and that’s what sparked my interest. But what kept me coming back is the way you expressed yourself; your thoughts and feelings in the videos. Keep up the good work.

[@thatshoweyeroll7864]

My advice for confidence, fake it till you make it. Play a confident character while socializing and somewhere along the way the confidence will just become natural.

[@sffreshness]

This is an awesome video. I love how this channel is covering challenges for body AND mind. I can see you are out of your comfort zone, that vulnerability is genuine. It’s great to watch and learn from.

[@ExploringEsperanto]

This was so much fun to watch. Now I want to watch the full conversations/interviews you did with those other people. They seem very interesting. Your production quality looks great. You could always do a video on how to set up and edit a nice-looking interview.

[@jasontodd7236]

I really enjoyed this video. What I noticed when the teleprompter stopped was your change in eye contact. You switched from talking and looking at the camera to looking around while you thought of what you were going to say next. You made a great point with that.

[@FearlessDreams]

1. What's the one thing you like most about the personal development niche? 2. What kind of videos would you like to see more on KZbin? I'm doing a bit of research and I'd appreciate your help. Thank you so much.

[@mintcloud5026]

I totally agree that if you can learn to feel excited at the prospect of meeting new people (or see it as a positive challenge), it will completely switch your perspective and it will feel fun rather than awkward. Great video!

[@griffinboyce2896]

Answer: yes, absolutely. I used to have extreme social anxiety and even tried medication for it. Now I give talks to hundreds/thousands of people and am known as a great conversationalist among friends and colleagues. A lot of it just comes down to failing in low-stakes circumstances until it clicks that it's not a huge deal to "fail" and you learn how to pivot the conversation between topics.

[@oohflacco]

If your so confident how’d u find this video

[@griffinboyce2896]

@@oohflacco I follow Goal Guys and was putting together a resources list for work. This account is my work account lol.

[@griffinboyce2896]

@@oohflacco I follow Goal Guys and was putting together a resources list for work. This account is my work account lol.

[@oohflacco]

@@griffinboyce2896 I wish I was confident

[@papihuey]

@@oohflacco you can practice that too. Always try to have a growth mindset.

[@MR-rc6hw]

"until next time, keep going for the goal"

[@ttusna]

When you admitted you lost I was thinking it was a segway to a vodka sponsor ad

[@Justanotherfootballyoutuber]

Thought the Raptors were sponsoring after the fitness vids

[@Mexicobeanpole]

Put the focus off of yourself and onto the other person right out the gate. And LISTEN to them instead of the swirling uncertainty in your brain. This was advice from my extrovert husband, and it’s made a world of difference for me. I feel myself relaxing when I do that.

[@LiquidSpiral]

You guys make the best videos. So frank and stylish and just a pleasure to watch.

[@porlearktuy4711]

Had to give a presentation before going on break this holiday and I'm hit with this.

[@BVtok26]

I thought that the ending where you brought out the alcohol you were going to talk about how being slightly inebriated helps on reducing the self-consciousness of awkward conversation or in increasing fluidity in speaking another language because you become less self aware and stop double guessing yourself. Would have loved to have seen how meeting new people but after having a drink first would have went. Keep it up guys, still my favorite KZbin channel.

[@justanaveragedude409]

My social anxiety is so bad that I haven't been able to keep a job in 4 years. I remember I started a job at walmart in an attempt to face my social fears. But instead of helping, I had one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had. My anxiety levels were so high my nose started bleeding. Crazy huh? What's worse is my anxiety actually started the day I lost my favorite job unexpectedly 4 years ago. Ever since then I've pretty much hated everything about myself, I dont do well around other people, its hard to do things that are new because of a fear of the unknown. I've gained 70 pounds since this stuff has started. So it has had an impact on my life mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and even spiritually. Anxiety is no joke. I want to work, absolutely. I want to better my life in every area. I just dont really know how to do it. I dont know how to over come this anxiety stuff.

[@GoalGuys]

Charlie, I am so sorry to hear that. I have some close friend who struggle with anxiety and have seen how dabilitating it can be. I hope in time your able to find a way to manage these challenges and get back to what you loved doing. Stay strong!

[@unapologeticjordy5887]

Hey Charlie, I struggle with social anxiety as well. I guess that’s why I watched this video because sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on life by staying home by myself everyday. But one thing I have been doing is joining a lotta Facebook groups. I’ve joined hiking groups, advocacy groups, a lot of stuff. I haven’t met up with anyone from the groups yet but I did sign up for a zoom. Even just being in the group makes me feel like I have friends.

[@scottm2553]

I've found for myself, clarity of mind plays a huge role in the fluidity of speech. When my mind isn't terribly clear, I notice my train of thought jumping around from here to there, to two steps back four steps forward, etc... But after a long meditation retreat, my mind is so much quieter and conversation simply flows. I'm present and not mentally jumping around. Have you ever thought about doing a long, intensive meditation retreat? I think it would open some doors for you that you didn't realize existed. Edit: Looks like you're also doing a lot of mental gymnastics. When I progressed in meditation, I realized I could "program" my subconscious so if there was something I wanted to do differently, I could set the intention to do something differently, subconsciously absorb it, and let go of it at the conscious level. Then I would do the desired thing differently without the additional weight of juggling a bunch of different mental things at the conscious level. Remember that the subconscious is where the vast majority of mental processing happens. When your brother talks, he's not doing any gymnastics. He's totally present and focused on the person he's talking with. It's so much easier to smoothly and comfortably converse when you're light and present. Meditation most certainly the way to get there. It quiets and clears the mind, dissolves the barrier between conscious and subconscious, and produces profound insights that totally change how you relate to the world and yourself. There's one major caveat though, and that is it needs to be the right type of meditation from the right foundational framework to produce the desired results. There's a lot of BS fluff meditation out there that doesn't go anywhere. I can point you in the direction of resources if you're interested.

[@justincren8259]

Any meditation resources would be helpful

[@scottm2553]

@@justincren8259 Sure, but the mainstream mediation practice pale in comparison to the profound states that can be accomplished through a more traditional means.

[@bismarchiavelli]

I hate to say this as a Brendan stan, but Cam’s advice was spot on. Socially awkward people try to force the subject of the conversation towards their strengths, instead of meeting the other person where they want to take the conversation. The ultimate truth about conversation is that people like to talk about themselves. So let them!

[@glummy909]

0:43 that's me answering to any business related call

[@elsajohnson6663]

Best advice I can give is FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT!!! As a highly shy/introverted THERAPIST! YES, i have had to pretend to be like Cam and IT WORKS!!! You definitely looked stressed, so next time, just fake it. Literally. It works

[@kimthegrey]

I struggle with this too! Here are somethings that my psychologist thaught me to help ease my stress in these situations: 1. This helpful thoughts for yourself when in conversations or just before a presentation if you find yourself getting anxious. E.g. it take two for a great conversation, I know that I can do this, this person also wants to make a new friend, etc. The trick is to find a phrase that you believe i whole hearthedly. 2. Mindfullness, going into a stressfull situation like a presentation or a meeting with your boss? Take a few minutes just before that event and practice mindfullness. Notice how your are feeling and what you are feeling where. Actively try to relieve the tention in your body. This helps to trick your mind in feeling calm 3. Make a list in where you emphasise the positive qualities you have when it comes to conversation, presenting etc. E.g I am well prepard, i know a lot about this topic, while i am not such a good speaker i am a good listener, etc. Remember, change takes time. This is not something that is going to improve overnight.

[@peeeeeeete1]

I suffer from this as well. It was cool to see you take on this challenge.

[@arnavrawat9864]

Extraversion is a personality trait. You don't get better at personality traits like that. There are deep reasons for why it is difficult for you. The point you made about your brother just enjoying conversation is the key point. Extroverts enjoy social contact. And therefore to be more extroverted involves learning how to enjoy talking. And once you aren't afraid of talking you can move on to the social intelligence part of it.

[@happy2bgr8]

Thank you so much for this video. I’m super socially awkward and have been working on it. Especially with the pandemic it has made socializing a bit more tricky especially for people like me. lol

[@TheDhammaHub]

There is arguably always a mixture of nurture & nature involved. The implication would be that it is likely possible to undergo such a transformation, but it should be of vastly different difficulty

[@72afam]

Helpful video. Loved the high school play sketch - made me crack up.

[@VictorRegouin]

Yes I definitely agree everybody can get good ad conversations. Its a skill and The biggest part is listening to the other people.

[@Dcent_K]

Woah. I didn’t know you had this problem too. Nice video

[@demonsnails]

Love the honesty man!

[@cr8tive401]

I have stage fright in any social situation especially with people who know me, since there is more expectation. I don’t get a break from the social anxiety unless I’m alone.

[@santiagocarrillo2237]

Absolutely I know from experience

[@tylerwalker8512]

what a gem of a vid. been looking for a topic like this forever 🙏🏻

[@PatrickJoannisse]

No no. It's "set goals and stay swole". No turning back.

[@gyldandillget4813]

I second this

[@Bakerseed]

I think it's all about not caring too much what others think of you, which also comes with a bit of self-awereness of what and who you are.

[@NetanelColish]

Thank you!

[@colinm366]

Socializing should be seen as skill to be practiced. It's a long term process that you'll improve at the more you converse and reflect on your progress. Focus on actually enjoying the conversation- It should actually be relaxing! Remember: The conversation isn't just about you- It's about both of you. Actually listen to what they're saying. EDIT: Awesome shoutout to Ali Abdaal!

[@Wingedmagician]

You’re my hero

[@BrandonDJx]

I believe they're some things you can't teach, sure you can improve on what you already have but not everything is natural for everyone. Some people are great at talking and really engaging but maybe not such a great listener vice versa. You just have to accept what you are good at and do your best with things you're not so good with.

[@metas1779]

Really excited for this

[@MichelleZhou]

Thank you. You are the best

[@foggyvhs8790]

I feel like I just live on a level of cynicism and sobering reality that I can’t imagine why anyone talks about anything

[@yeid44]

for fun

[@TheFxEditor]

It depends on the topic of the conversation.

[@militarymom6690]

Maybe Cam is an natural extrovert and you’re a natural introvert….??

[@marco_nt]

That's a great video guys, great job

[@Magne1]

Diffent video from you guys! But looking forward to it like I have every upload for the past 2 years:)

[@GoalGuys]

Appreciate ya mate!

[@Luoshe]

I’m a natural introvert at heart and a tattoo artist so engaging in conversation is inevitable, I’ve found that communicating any moment of awkwardness or how uncomfortable I can get in conversation cuts the tension and awkwardness down between the stranger and I significantly TLDR; Simply owning it and working on it openly in front of others makes interactions easier

[@ninjanerdstudent6937]

Before public speaking, it helps to have some wine or beer. It takes away that heightened awareness.

[@ayoubkhiro4184]

The Desi Lifestyle Well lots of people do not have that option sadly

[@LucasvanLieropTenor]

I liked the tag line! Keep going for the goal!

[@bestintentions6089]

my T. bros upping my KZbin game one step at a time.

[@mafuzzychefstanaccount9957]

0:45 I cringed so hard I think I pulled a muscle!

[@dfsf10]

Lmao ur funny i got loled

[@DevinDTV]

his response actually sounded fine to me. i listen to a lot of podcasts

[@nschive]

what's up with the people coming to the competition being the most relaxed people in front of camera that i've ever seen :D

[@chloenaidoo701]

Request for more videos on social ability and psychology of human beings pls.

[@03cnutty]

Cool vid man

[@FearlessDreams]

1. What's the one thing you like most about the personal development niche? 2. What kind of videos would you like to see more on KZbin? I'm doing a bit of research and I'd appreciate your help. Thank you so much.

[@pixel916]

I felt to awkward to even watch this video straight away...

[@MrNightpwner]

It starts with listening well

[@SamuelGarcia-rf4th]

I can relate!

[@TimSchneiderPsych]

praise the lords of the algorithm! A very cool and unique idea for a video, well done!

[@tristansch3057]

this will be the most viewed on his channel

[@keshava470]

you can master speaking and listening but positive non verbal cues only come out of genuine interest and curiosity to socialise that every introvert lacks

[@ironicfa1389]

How fatalistic. I admire your cognitive strength!

[@keshava470]

@@ironicfa1389 But. Genuine interest and curiosity can be acquired, subject to circumstances.

[@adrianlara5045]

If you’re socially awk, get a retail job it should help you get over it, it did for me. Before that I was so bad I had to ask my younger sister to ask how much something cost at the store for me.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

Yes! It was the best decision I ever made. I used to hate it. I had to tell myself that they want me to sell to them or else why are they here? I'm so comfortable talking in front of strangers now. I can small talk with the best of them. I like to compliment people as my in. People LOVE to talk about themselves.

[@adrianlara5045]

@@dahliaherrod4301👍🏼 you know how it is

[@aniketgupta4289]

I am also socially awkward and I also needed to ask my asshole brother about how he can talk with everyone easily and make friends so easily. that's common b/w us I am fuc**ing awkward now..

[@HumanityCollected]

More videos like this 👍

[@joshuabrown2799]

Which podcast was that?

[@rhaulsparrow6644]

Ah, yes. The curse of the introvert.

[@ms.gachdragony1728]

Me with social anxiety: 👁👄👁

[@romanplays4fun700]

Well, I’m socially awkward. Wait. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. No wonder I have no friends

[@tinttiakka2028]

Everyone can get friends and you can do it.

[@ayoubkhiro4184]

@boy lasagna Well online friends are just strangers, no matter how close you are you're still a distance away.

[@adriancaldwell]

I think most people are confident if they're talking to like-minded people and about things they're interested in. Therefore AVOID people you're not interested in and discussing things you find dull !! I HATE small talk...so I don't do it!

[@mitchelljack1590]

I think for me it’s got a lot to do with the fact that I don’t really care what the other person has to say.. so I assume they also don’t care what I have to say... so the whole thing just seems like a pointless exercise for me..

[@dianaa8125]

Yep this.

[@srrr4559]

All my daily conversations consist of me awkwardly smiling and shaking my legs.

[@kayo5011]

Sounds like me

[@vincentswift8352]

0:52 big oof

[@presidentl9232]

This should be interesting😂

[@chinesevirusfactories3300]

As an introvert, this is hard for me.

[@McMeatBag]

What do I do with my hands?

[@OVXX666]

why is this so stressful wtfd

[@alelectric2767]

The answer is we don’t want to.

[@srushtikulkarni7817]

Comment to get you back into algorithm

[@MSordernature]

The speech pathologist doesn't really impress at speaking. You should check out Charisma on Command on KZbin or even more their unimaginatively called podcast Charlie & Ben podcast. I think your brother gave you good advice.

[@brunothompson6157]

Lol she’s an expert in her field. She doesn’t need to “impress” at speaking. She does research not stand up comedy

[@MSordernature]

@@brunothompson6157 Don't teach what you can't perform.

[@Diamondraw4Real]

How do i not get anxiety when I get more views or subs?

[@aisadal2521]

I don't see why not

[@SGardner11]

Nice

[@pahgm6222]

Yo

[@saimvanguard4689]

Wagwan

[@mugen-kai]

Why does it seem like he's shaking his head No as he speaks?

[@hugolandiabaeza8002]

Leave a comment for the KZbin daddy

[@minecraftstation6422]

Hellooo

[@jacktheblack9879]

i am a hamster

[@raanoooshh9296]

Suuuper early

[@elHOMBREdelSACOk]

I mean... ...yeahhh????

[@Nif3]

Drink a can of beer before any social interaction. I'm dead serious.

[@dannygochicoa8867]

ego much?😂