Can Animals Commit Crimes?

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Sources:
E.P. Evans, "Criminal Prosecution & Capital Punishment of Animals: The Lost History of Europe's Animal Trials" | amzn.to/2J3Dvqr
Plato, "Laws," Book IX | amzn.to/2Y5GF3r
Robert Parker, "Miasma: Pollution and Purification in Early Greek Religion" | amzn.to/2IAOtog
Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Vol. I & II, 8, 44, 91, 93, 103-105 | amzn.to/2Y5GIMF
René Descartes, "Discourse on the Method," Part 5 & 6 | amzn.to/2FtPjBi
Charles Darwin, "The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex" | amzn.to/2x9oYnB
Charles Darwin, "An Appeal" | bit.ly/2WlQ5uO
The Cruelty to Animals Act of 1849, United Kingdom | bit.ly/2wkMjlS
The Cruelty to Animals Act of 1876, United Kingdom | bit.ly/2HH8IjX
Raphael Sealey, "Aristotle, Athenaion Politeia 57.4: Trial of Animals and Inanimate Objects for Homicide," Classical Quarterly Vol. 56, No. 2 | www.jstor.org/stable/4493432
Walter Woodburn Hyde, "The Prosecution of Lifeless Things and Animals in Greek Law: Part I," The American Journal of Philology, Vol. 38, No. 2 | www.jstor.org/stable/289180
Walter Woodburn Hyde, "The Prosecution of Lifeless Things and Animals in Greek Law: Part II," The American Journal of Philology, Vol. 38, No. 3 | www.jstor.org/stable/289426
Walter Woodburn Hyde, "The Prosecution and Punishment of Animals and Lifeless Things in the Middle Ages and Modern Times," University of Pennsylvania Law Review and American Law Register, Vol. 64, No. 7 | www.jstor.org/stable/3313677
Esther Cohen, "Law, Folklore and Animal Lore," Past & Present, No. 110 | www.jstor.org/stable/650647
Hampton L. Carson, "The Trial of Animals and Insects. A Little Known Chapter of Mediaeval Jurisprudence," Proceedings of the American Philosophical Society, Vol. 56, No. 5 | www.jstor.org/stable/984029
E. V. Walter, "Nature on Trial: The Case of the Rooster that Laid an Egg," Comparative Civilizations Review, Vol. 10, No. 10 | bit.ly/2YVgooz
Peter Dinzelbacher, "Animal Trials: A Multidisciplinary Approach," The Journal of Interdisciplinary History, Vol. 32, No. 3 | www.jstor.org/stable/3656215
Music:
"XY," by Nctrnm
"The Root Of All Things," by Ben McElroy
"Money," by Jahzzar
"The House Glows (With Almost No Help)," by Chris Zabriskie
"Hallon," by Christian Bjoerklund
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

[@treeshakertucker5840]

This is gloriously stupid and I love it!

[@divusgaiusjuliuscaesar4657]

I am disappointed at levels that cannot be described

[@highlybased107]

how is this comment 2 weeks old and the video just came out

[@lakrids-pibe]

Definitely worth a detour to 14th century France

[@krcrk]

esems shirt patreon privilege

[@ledibak7735]

@@highlybased107 I guess the video was unlisted for 2 weeks for patrons.

[@REDKILLER1251]

Everybody gangsta till the rats start committing tax fraud

[@jonyahraus4283]

The rats are friends with Yoshi

[@dacreator1226]

everybody gangsta till duolingo takes your family hostage

[@youreallinsane]

One of my favorite comments on YT

[@mongrel8621]

@@dacreator1226 dead meme

[@dacreator1226]

@@mongrel8621 you're goddamn right

[@SnowyJakub]

The rat story is a next level shitpost so far ahead of it's time

[@anonym3]

Yee

[@paichni3474]

They had cat assassins XD

[@dazey856]

@@paichni3474 dude that had me dead that he claimed they were assassins lmao

[@lobster9059]

theres also the one dude who sold shitty copper

[@Mochi_Wan]

Fr man

[@dazey856]

That man was a genius for choosing to make a name for himself by defending rats

[@flexprime2010]

it does please the horned rat yes-yes

[@syourke3]

Sammy “The Bull” Gravano?

[@robertjarman3703]

Lawyers always defend their own kind.

[@lysidplontger3980]

I thought that's what all lawyers did

[@Atomhaz]

And it worked because we are still talking about him!

[@grace5033]

Fun fact: most lizards have not committed war crimes against Yugoslavia (key word: MOST)

[@AshEnbyy]

I'm sorry... what?- 💀 Please tell me what kind of war crime against Yugoslavia was committed by a frickin lizard

[@selahanany5645]

@@AshEnbyy a green one

[@AshEnbyy]

@@selahanany5645 ah yes, thank you for that information. I would have never thought of that if you didn't tell me! now all my questions have been answered :)

[@selahanany5645]

@@AshEnbyy you are welcome :)

[@chinsaw2727]

@@AshEnbyy Godzilla

[@hogndog2339]

Judge: Do you have anything to say about this? Roof tile: Judge: Guilty

[@TimThomason]

"You are hereafter exiled from this city."

[@chamuchamupalchamperry6686]

"I didn't kill the man, The Knife did it!" The Knife: "See? It can't deny it!"

[@editsonimovie8681]

Chamuchamu Palcham Perry Knife: P-pweaz don’t hewt me ;-;

[@ender01o66]

@@editsonimovie8681 XD

[@dumbass3618]

It seems funny right but before science people had no way to gauge the intelligence of animals.

[@theodoric7335]

As soon as we stopped animal trials we had some of the deadliest wars in history including WW1 and WW2, I rest my case

[@Phelan666]

30 years war was, proportionally, far more devastating.

[@theodoric7335]

@@Phelan666 People don't know it very well so I didn't mention it

[@whoareyou1034]

I mean, he is not wrong...

[@dajjukunrama5695]

Nothing explains the EU 4Head

[@mrniceguy7168]

Yellow King ahh, never fails, someone says something funny and someone has to say “akshually...”

[@N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S.]

0:44 "Chassenée was looking to make a name for himself" Given that we're talking about this 500 years later, it would appear that he was successful. It would also appear, interestingly, that this may never have actually happened, but then history is full of such interesting tidbits.

[@Chungus581]

He became a pretty prominent lawyer and his work influenced the Napoleonic Code

[@hairlessgrizzly559]

*minor inconvenience occurs* The Church: "Wouldn't that make you... GUILTY!?"

[@ldtobi1]

Prisoner: “How’d you get in here?” Pig: “Oink.” Prisoner: “Wow, I only murdered a few people.”

[@SamTheEnglishTeacher]

Murderers were executed pretty quickly. The practice of housing, clothing and feeding ruthless animals for 20+ years started very very recently (and will probably end once people can no longer ignore how unsustainable it is, both in terms of finance and genetic load). Sorry for my bad English.

[@flipflop_bell]

technoblade

[@FunAngelo2005]

@@flipflop_bell i knew it was coming,but i did not know from where

[@lostmykeys85]

Are those fists? OINK

[@CrabmanReturns]

Prisoner: how’d you get in here? Rock: Prisoner: You’re insane dude

[@Sternab]

"He was being annoying but kinda had a point" So like most lawyers then?

[@sinfulloccultist950]

*Wright

[@trueberry4094]

@@sinfulloccultist950 I don’t see any grammer mistakes?

[@laysthechip3356]

@@trueberry4094 …Phoenix Wright..ace attorney reference

[@trueberry4094]

@@laysthechip3356 oh lol my bad

[@il00vemoney]

@@sinfulloccultist950 right*

[@StarbitzTheSpookyClown]

“I murdered a man, what are you in for.” A gold fish:

[@cucamonga95]

“No harm, no fowl” made me audibly laugh for the first time in probably two weeks and I’m grateful for that. Thanks

[@BalsticMaker12]

And we thought having parrots as witnesses in court is already weird enough.

[@aguynamedsmith6489]

Please be a reference to what I think you're referencing

[@avatarwan5824]

@@aguynamedsmith6489 Ace Attorney!!!!!

[@Tuntor689]

Reality imitates art

[@user-cu6ns6ww1h]

@@avatarwan5824 More like... ASS ATTORNEY

[@petalleaf2808]

@@avatarwan5824 Ace Attorney? I thought it was that one KZbin video where a parrot was a witness to their owner's murder by her brother/friend, since the husband noticed how strange the parrot acted around the brother/friend after the wife's murder.

[@shunyat9023]

Imagine spending 20 years to become a lawyer and your debut case was defending a random chicken, also you lost.

[@GrandMoffTarkinsTeaDispenser]

Death to the chicken.

[@saxonjedi5878]

@Mr. Whiskers that orca did nought worng

[@nekrouni8497]

The rat case is proof of how flexible the court can be Also this is funny as fuck

[@Soreshy]

The rats right before the incident: _Rats, we're rats, we're the rats!_ _We pray at night, we stalk at night, we're the rats!_ *I'm the giant rat that makes all of the rules!* _Let's see what kind of trouble we get ourselves into~_

[@niklimnat1061]

yall worrying about animals being convicted of crimes, but inanimate objects tho

[@X606]

This lamp burned Larry, so we should burn it!

[@Pb0b178]

"A murderous roof tile"

[@ThreeBeeHDb]

@@Pb0b178The Dad: BILLY! ARE YOU THRO... The Dad: *sees dead body* The Dad: Billy, why is our neighbor dead? Billy: IT WAS THE ROCK!!! The Dad: *looks at bloody rock* *one trial later* City: BURN THE ROCK!!!

[@spudsbuchlaw]

Blender found guilty after dedickitating multipul people

[@dust1077]

This deserves more likes

[@marcosbravo9645]

"so the rats could get their affairs in order" Congratulations, two minutes in and I already lost it.

[@e1123581321345589144]

I also loved the bit with the cat assassins. lmao :)))

[@xxXXXxxx852]

What did you lose?

[@236_muhammadfadlirakananda2]

the swirling rats sent me 😭😭

[@user-dg9xy9sm5e]

@@xxXXXxxx852 he meant he burst out in laughter or he genuinely smiled or something similar to that.

[@YoungOddo]

mafrandaa please move your cats indoors so rats can come😭Imagine tryna explain that to somebody

[@Reirek]

“It’s remarkable something like this was coming out of the church in the 13th century” Believe me, Aquinas is probably the smartest man to ever have lived. His theories and theology were so batshit crazy at the time, but a lot of what he said about the ‘natural world’ was proven by science over 700 years later

[@josephfox9221]

personally I would have to say Palamas had a better grasp of theology

[@dazey856]

There have a been several people to be way beyond their time but at this point it’ll rare to have anyone like them since there’s only so much we can really progress by at a time

[@TheMylittletony]

A lot of his stuff was batshit crazy too.

[@JP-rf8rr]

I wouldn't say "batshit" crazy at the time. I don't think bonoventure, Henry Genet, Scotus, Lomard, or Anselm disagree too significantly on theology. Henry and Bonoventure were more Augustinian, Scotus takes some new directions in line of the Franciscans, but they're not that far removed from each other.

[@Zorro9129]

Aquinas was a gift to the world who has been up to now unmatched. The secular world sadly understates his philosophy.

[@internet_introvert]

Nature is actually inclined towards "meh, good enough"

[@Kimmie6772]

Oh look, his horns are going through his skull. What? They had babies already? Eh, good enough.

[@richardcyr9040]

The judge: "Do you understand the charges against you?" The pig: "Squeak."

[@ewantaylor2758]

Judge: "Pig, you are accused of mixing up the village stockpiles of Oil and Ink, what exactly where you trying to achieve?" Pig: "Oink"

[@cheemsdog7662]

Hes a dad and a criminal! XD

[@pcslug3122]

@@ewantaylor2758 good one!

[@bearmarco1944]

@@ewantaylor2758 Ignorantia juris non excusat!

[@wittycommentator]

Your honor, I'm just a simple country lawyer. But I do declare that my client did not intend to lay that egg

[@refinedwrath9030]

Is that a futurama reference?

[@big_egg953]

egg

[@zacri9434]

egg

[@xxXXXxxx852]

Pretty sure he did it to offend me.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

@@refinedwrath9030 "Now, I know it must be awfully scary in that there witness stand, but there's nothing to fear, darlin'. BAGAWK! Oh, I'm sorry - I thought you was corn."

[@Sponsorbagel]

i'm pretty sure i heard of a guy who got a prison sentence because "his" fingerprints were found on a dead body. turns out that it was a koala who killed the deceased person, they suspected him because koala fingerprints are almost indistinguishable from human fingerprints and this koala's prints were basically the same as the supposed murderer. this would suck so hard lmao

[@The_ZeroLine]

lol, yeah, no.

[@sevendeadlysquids404]

Brings a whole new meaning to “kangaroo court”

[@howdyciaody]

Imagine not being a featureless square and having to keep a strait face, calling cats assasins in court like that

[@fedos]

IIRC there was a case in the US where it was charged that a political candidate won unfairly because his supporters were shooting at his opponents who approached the polling location. The judge ruled that it was fair because basically anyone who was sufficiently brave would have been able to continue through the gunfire. Wish I could remember the details better than that so I could properly verify it.

[@CareerKnight]

@@fedos That sounds deeply stupid, unfortunately that has nothing to do with whether it happened or not.

[@fedos]

@@CareerKnight The stupidity of it is probably why it stuck with me, real or not.

[@fernandoalmeida2491]

fedos haha I wanted to read this story, but I sadly couldnt find

[@fedos]

@@fernandoalmeida2491 Yeah, whenever I try to find it again I end up with recent voting rights rulings. We're talking about something I read about 20 years ago.

[@TheModernMartialArtist]

Easy way to tell if the rooster was guilty: Did it weigh the same as a witch?

[@guyanon]

Is this a crossover Episode? My 2 favourite YTers

[@JodenPaoloPeroy]

But does it float?

[@rockCity777]

@@JodenPaoloPeroy Yes it does. So it's made of wood.

[@irongeneral7861]

BURRRRRRN HIM!

[@JodenPaoloPeroy]

@@rockCity777 could be a duck?

[@tempest225]

When you're such a good lawyer you save rats from a lawsuit:

[@nitroboosting1622]

I love how the lawyer Starts making Childish reasons then actually making a point

[@frosty2579]

He should have just said the court notice was in a language the rats could not read so the notices would have to be written in rat and just left it at that to screw with the judge

[@neurofiedyamato8763]

There was a lot of other arguments that would of been impossible to resolvable for the court.

[@ccvcharger]

Objection! If a rat can learn to cook by reading a French cookbook, then it is completely rational to believe that rats can read a court notice that is also posted in French.

[@______608]

Same thing I thought here...

[@______608]

@@ccvcharger Hahahaha Ratatouille!!!!

[@maxscott3349]

Why didn't they speak the local language? They immigrated legally, didn't they?

[@BeelZeDemon]

I'd feel sorry for the rooster but we can't take chances with basilisks. In fact, since no basilisk attacked the village, the rooster was obviously guilty, and the plot of the local witch was thwarted.

[@saguntum-iberian-greekkons7014]

Indeed! They did save the city from a giant snake attack, im sure the Rooster was disapointed that the villagers saw throught his machiavellic plan!

[@lucky-yv5yn]

Somebody’s about to get wooshed.

[@mushroomflow8499]

@@lucky-yv5yn whoosh

[@lucky-yv5yn]

Mushroom Flow What joke did I miss...? Also, I hate it when people use woosh on KZbin lol. You probably have no idea what it actually is, or have never actually seen r/woooosh, judging by your spelling of it.

[@mushroomflow8499]

@@lucky-yv5yn I'm sorry I just got irritated by your response in this reply section

[@quandaledingle113]

Severely underrated video. I keep coming back to rewatch it ven though I don’t even rewatch movies/shows I love.

[@noahkhan206]

Your use of music and timing is amazing, love your videos!

[@nekomancer1495]

"Rat rattington, you are guilty of tax fraud. how do you plead?" **"RAT NOISES"**

[@somerandomguy6363]

GUILTY! DEATH TO YOU RAT RATTINGTON!

[@BrokensoulRider]

ratatatatatatatatatatatta sqeek squeek.

[@rexroyulada6267]

Glorious

[@timomastosalo]

No, it was Nibbles Rat (name translated from medieval French), and his family. Rattington lives in England.

[@TruthNerds]

Poor Rat Rattington, somebody must've ratted him out.

[@FyWhy]

Pope: I excommunicate this foul mole Farmer: You have gained "excommunicated" CB against a mole.

[@respublica4373]

Men of culture are in this comment section.

[@viniciusteixeira6736]

Bah, why bother with christian CB, just turn pagan and conquer those cross worhsipers

[@alanetchetto8908]

@@viniciusteixeira6736 I found the pagan mole guys

[@markay779]

@@viniciusteixeira6736 Why bother with pagans? Just convert to zoroastrianism and marry your sister.

[@tdoge]

@@vincentiusvincentius7557 >Farmer pays 100 gold To whom exactly??

[@OuroborosChoked]

Biggest legal questions of Western civilization: Can animals commit crimes? Can monarchs commit crimes? Coincidence?

[@Vortexiiixii]

Rats: Thank you, here's your money. Lawyer: It is nice working with you. *Phoneix Wright: Ace Attorney theme song*

[@philip8498]

rats: when the going gets tough, you dont want a criminal laywer, you want a *criminal* lawyer Rat lawyer: Hi, im saul goodman! did you know that you have rights?

[@geraldysjunk]

The first story sounds like something Sam O Nella should cover

[@samuelr.6046]

He did my boy

[@TheGreenYoutuber]

God I miss him

[@iforgor6673]

@@samuelr.6046 when

[@bp_cherryblossomtree723]

Fish Jenga

[@LavroseRovender]

defi

[@jamescusack6511]

In other news, Florida man arrested for excommunicating local crocodile

[@terner1234]

F L O R I D A M A N

[@julienh3965]

This is by far the best video on the internet today. Historia Civilis is some kind of genius

[@dr.coomer789]

Yeah idk if defending rats is going to make you popular when your enemies can literally say, “you defended a rat”

[@flexprime2010]

@Stella Olivia the chick moved the egg ;)

[@jeffvella9765]

If you can win a case against all odds when the client doesn't even show up, you must be good.

[@cartmann94]

Rat Lawyer: Your magistrate, my clients can't appear at this trial. They're surrounded by assassins! Julius Caesar: Did somebody say Assassins?!?

[@physical_insanity]

I can just imagine Caesar rising out of his grave like a robot sitting up and just snapping his head right to the camera as he says that.

[@MikeGill87]

Yeah, that's the video I was hoping for today... Doesn't matter. Any HC video is equally interesting, some are just a bit more my cup of tea. Caesar. Must. Die. Soon!

[@ThePrinceofParthia]

More like: Everyone: You're surrounded by assassins! Julius Caesar: Everyone: oh fuck oh no he has his airpods in doesn't he?

[@ObligedUniform]

Assassini!

[@fuhq5121]

Watn it greece? I thought him a roman.

[@Mushthesquid]

One thing a bot in TF2 played your video in voice and I can never forget that also really informative video

[@PK-Radio]

"Sir Porky, you are accused of crimes against humanity." "Oink."

[@Hawkfire360]

Oh! This explains something I didn't understand about Oedipus Rex. The "pollution on the land" wasn't a metaphor, Oedipus was literally exuding bad vibes

[@leonardo9259]

Quite literally

[@ethanbotterill2743]

Yeah! It's called miasma, it's a plague or ill happening that occurs when a crime has not been avenged

[@nonbinaryDes]

I was literally thinking the same thing after watching this video! that they really meant it when they said he was the "heart of our corruption". What a coincidence

[@QualityPen]

Bad vibes is an awesome way of describing divine punishment for crimes committed.

[@MasonThompson]

My dog ate all of my beef jerky today while I was at work. So to answer the question, YES. Yes they can.

[@BubbaJ18]

Take it to court, no mercy!!!

[@parkchimmin7913]

Dolphins also purposefully agitate pufferfishes cause they want to get high off of the pufferfishes’ venom. They take in the venom and they pass the pufferfish to the next dolphin. Also, dolphins rape almost any thing. They’re assholes of the sea.

[@ender01o66]

@@parkchimmin7913 XD

[@parkchimmin7913]

Ender 01o I don’t like dolphins .-.

[@gizel4376]

​@@parkchimmin7913 it's hard to sue for raping if the victims doesn't talk, and DEA are not very well equip to control pufferfish trafic

[@madeforlosers]

this appeared in my reccommended and I was immediately hooked.

[@deimmartillo1674]

The judge: The roof in front of me is accused of killing the owner of the house where it comes from. How would you declare yourself? The roof: ... The judge: I heard enough, you are vanished from this city.

[@readmyusernamecauseitssoreally]

"if they're not here, I propose they'd be guilty of their crimes" But they're rats... They didnt even know they were guilty of anything in the first place

[@thetenthone]

That's what they want you to think

[@Kittsuera]

plot twist. the rats started the plague for all the unjust actions against them

[@liltone9614]

Nor do they even know there meant to be there

[@theawesomeking5513]

Well i mean not knowing the law doesnt expel u from it

[@charlesisnothome6694]

@@theawesomeking5513 I mean in most cases if you don’t have the mental capacity to understand your crime they just put you in psychiatric care. Though animals are quite different in which they don’t have the capacity to understand any of the human rules and systems.

[@mayevie]

"the rooster was convicted of cavorting with Satan" i bursted out laughing so suddenly my mom was startled lmao

[@indonesiakid1396]

Bruh even a roaster idk what is going on

[@deez2037]

In all honesty, the only animals, as a whole species, to ever to go against God were snakes and some others only, not roosters.

[@mostdysfunctionalfamily2725]

I appreciate the source listings...

[@ezralives]

this was actually fascinating ty ily

[@spideraba769]

An interesting note: some places still allow inanimate objects to be tried in court, even to this day. A relatively modern instance is the case of _Krabs v. Plankton_ in Bikini Bottom in 2005: Krabs's representative, Mr. SquarePants, called a mop to the stand as a suspected guilty party. Naturally, the mop, being an inanimate object, did not respond to SquarePants's questioning.

[@mudcake_andworms]

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

[@DaShoopdahoop]

Thank you for making me laugh during covid times.

[@ericolens3]

@@DaShoopdahoop Im sorry for you not laughing as often. I try to laugh at least once an hour.

[@luigiofthegods459]

"Need I remind you that you sir are under oath?!"

[@jy3n2]

More seriously, civil forfeiture cases are against property rather than against people. Thus, we get things like Texas v. One Gold Crucifix or US v. Forty-Three Gallons of Whiskey.

[@bwoah525]

RIP Rooster ????-1474 He died cause some dumb chicken laid an egg in his pen

[@Prich319]

ikr? Damn feminist chickens, framing innocent roosters with false crimes.

[@lopez.jacinto.6726]

You weren't there, you can't know, maybe that rooster wasn't that innocent. Have you seen how they chase after kids? Those little allies of the Devil...

[@BLooDCoMPleX]

What are you talking about, it was his pen, obviously he laid the egg. How could a chicken ever laid the egg there, it's HIS pen.

[@gamewarrior2216]

Maybe the rooster was transgender, that's why the church was so adamant to persecute it.

[@curious_one1156]

@@gamewarrior2216 Conspiracy

[@renatodutrarangel112]

The fact that a rooster laid an egg means that the entire city was in danger, imagine a merchant go to a city "Hello good ci..." "THE ROOSTER PUT AN EGG!" "The wha..." "THIS CITY IS DEAD" "RUN TO YOUR HOUSE! RUN TO YOUR HOUSE!" "THE END IS NIGH!!" "Nope, I'm out"

[@coconuttree9719]

Greek: Stubs toe Table: Greek: You're going to jail buddy

[@jlkjlkjkljklj9162]

No one is talking about "No Harm, No Fowl", but I see it, sir, and I appreciate it.

[@ccswelding1599]

did animal trials REALLY increase...or did people just catch onto the idea of a good barbecue?

[@dulguunnorjinbat6136]

mmm, rat bbq

[@momon969]

"Hey, do you think that chicken is possessed by the devil?" "Now that you mention it, yeah, I could eat."

[@yeahaight3495]

The profile pic makes this so much better

[@yee5074]

@@yeahaight3495 ikr its so yankish

[@jileskorey1105]

This is partially why I love history. Reality is stranger than fiction

[@spencerbarton7384]

Sometimes humans are magnificent, awe-inspiring creatures, and sometimes we burn roosters at the stake. Truly, the duality of man

[@hitrapperandartistdababy]

History really is the greatest TV show we never got

[@hdipan7731]

Si se escucha profe 😳😳😳

[@abdiabdi1990]

Imagine if reality shows existed back then

[@colonelcorneliuscornwall3547]

It’s pacing is just really slow

[@mr.supersonicultra9131]

@@colonelcorneliuscornwall3547 ikr there is to much filler

[@saint8711]

Have you considered "Horrible histories" Incredible tv show

[@redpotato2585]

Me: Can't wait for Caesar's Death episode from Historia Civilis Historia Civilis: CaN aNImAls CoMmIt CrImES? Edit: Historia Civilis already mentioned Caesar's Death

[@villumsonne1107]

The assassination of Caesar proves that :)

[@ahmedbassam400]

Exactly what I was thinking

[@sam08g16]

HEY HEY stop with the SPOILERS!

[@SmallFries01]

@@sam08g16 Caesar dies? WTF

[@jdosuna4453]

@@SmallFries01 he cant die yet he hasn't got to the part where he invented the salad

[@DCMelo_UC]

Julius Caesar, Marc Antony, Cleopatra, Alexander the Great, Phillip II, literally every human ever: Get squares Demonic rooster laying Basilisk making eggs: Bust out the animation! I appreciate that HC has his priorities straight

[@IKGchiller]

i really enjoyed this. thank you

[@xxxsinpadres3867]

"Animal morals" Remembers the behaviour of crows and how they have court Yes crows have their own courts

[@fluffynator6222]

How?

[@NotBendy580]

@@fluffynator6222 this was 2 years ago i highly doubt they're respond

[@Joker-fq6yx]

@V. _-Undying Crusader-_ .V not with that attitude they won’t

[@xxxsinpadres3867]

@@fluffynator6222 pulled from Google "According to scientists, crows often kill other crows in what's colloquially called "crow court" (definitely not a scientific term). These spats come as a result of an intruder crow coming onto one crow's turf, or a member of the current crow crew deciding to go rogue and double cross his crowrades."

[@xxxsinpadres3867]

@@Joker-fq6yx I didn't get any notifications for this thread up until now lol so I had no idea

[@Kriegter]

Normal people's reaction to a murder: Somebody got murdered! Who did this! Greeks: Those god damn murder gasses are spreading like an epidemic again

[@ItSquishy]

well shit the damn evil gases back at it again

[@CodeMan-tj3rt]

10:08 "The unfortunate rooster was charged with the crime of cavorting with satan"

[@ryotaa0054]

The inanimate object murder is like when you were younger and your parent hits the side of the wardrobe when you bump your toe on it

[@nicholasparker2086]

In those situations where I stubbed my toe I was judged jury and executioner

[@michealroth120800]

5:11 I'm just imagining a roof tile getting arrested for murder...

[@krankarvolund7771]

Now imagine the lawyer who have to prove that this roof tile is innocent XD The experts: Athens would be very fun xD

[@merrittanimation7721]

Lawyer: “CONFESS” Roof Tile: *Is a roof tile*

[@edwardokaa]

After serving its time for the murder, all Roof Tile wanted was to start again with a clean slate

[@Reignor99]

@@edwardokaa See yourself out.

[@amulet2350]

FeelsPyrrhusMan

[@xenan7889]

"the rooster was burned at the stake" me: so sad also me: eats a chicken sandwich

[@Limbolots0]

@@Vohasiiv not to burst your bubble but noo... they are killed in a pretty brutal way

[@livipup]

At least the death of that chicken lead to something meaningful, continuing another life.

[@xenan7889]

@@Vohasiiv you are so innocent

[@dumbass3618]

8:55 my favorite part

[@Fankas2000]

@@livipup Now hey last time I check burning produces carbon dioxide, carbon dioxide is then "eaten" by plants. So burning that roster did continue a another life.

[@davetrack2950]

I was really hoping you’d talk about Topsy the elephant. She didn’t get a fair trial but she was publicly executed. Poor, poor Topsy.

[@Anthintendo]

4:04 - I want to imagine that a big ass rock fell on top of someone, and the Ancient Greek court had to haul the rock to the trial grounds.

[@michaelwang1524]

But my dog ate my homework!!! Clearly work of satan himself, eating the pathway to knowledge.

[@-Faris-]

Unacceptable! I will call the regional cardinal and public execution will take place at the town square!

[@midshipman8654]

Michael Wang How does it feel to sentence your dog to a execution, just because you forgot to write your research paper last night? Are you proud of yourself?

[@michaelwang1524]

@@midshipman8654I feel like John Wicking myself... :(

[@johnloman4164]

@Jack the Gestapo Asian 100

[@natalyn139]

satan lost touch with adam and eve and forgot how to find the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, so he had to settle for tempting your dog to eat the paper of the knowledge of history and social studies

[@paulchambaz8906]

It is so upsetting that the rooster went out this way. He deserved better. Historian Albert Eggstein call him the greatest rooster in medieval history. I love the rooster, I'm in that camp too...

[@leeofthe7seas]

Don't eat chicken

[@lorenzooliveira1157]

Nice reference there, amigo

[@hihi-nm3uy]

I caught that reference, because I watch HC so much that I recognise his speech habits.

[@TotallyTails]

"Can Animals Commit Crimes?" Remember, you have a very low chance of getting killed by sheep. Bù5 ñèvē4 zë4ø.

[@erdnalickeroftoads2143]

Considering that Baboons abduct lion cubs to perform spawn Kills on them and the fact that dolphins (and orcas) are default psychopaths, I'd say yes. Yes they can

[@Engy_Wuck]

"the practise of putting animals on trials has vanished" - ah, well, let's just say it changed enough to no longer make it a trial. But the problem still is the same: how do you handle an animal that has caused harm and/or death of a human? In the case of domestic animals essentially the owner is now charged, because he indirectly caused it by neglicience (or even on purpose, e.g. if he raised a dog to attack humans and ordered it to attack). But in some cases where the animal is "incorrigible" it is ordered by the authorities to be separated from the owner or even put to death. In case of wild animals also some entity decides what to do, up to ordering hunters to shoot the animal (say a wild bear or a wolf that has shown to attack near human habitation multiple times - happens every few years). In both cases, especially for the wild animals, it just doesn't go to "human court" anymore, but still some entity looks at the evidence and decides if that animal did the deed it's accused of and what should be done. There even may be lawyers involved :-)

[@pinkdiamond1847]

Sadly the animal gets put down when the attack is entirely the humans fault. Like those KZbinrs who put their dog down after the child was playing with the dogs food and got bit by the dog as a result and let's not forget Harambe. We need to bring back fair trials for animals.

[@happyllama1160]

@@pinkdiamond1847 Harambe was entirely justified. Gorrilas and chimpanzees are horrifyingly dangerous creatures and he could have easily killed that boy whether he meant it or not. There is no way he could have lived. They could have used a tranquilliser but that would have enraged him and he would have torn the kid apart. What did you want them to do? Let the kid be ripped apart by a massive territorial male gorilla and hold a trial afterwards? It was a sad incident but zoos have a responsibility to keep their guests safe and their lives come before any of the animals. The mother was stupid, but it wasn’t the boys fault.

[@happyllama1160]

The laws against pit-bull type dogs in the UK is horrifying and sad. Many dogs are destroyed or must be muzzled when around people for simply looking slightly pit-bully. They can’t help what they are and pitbulls can be wonderful pets when trained properly

[@pinkdiamond1847]

@@happyllama1160 The mother shouldn't have been allowed to lift her child over the gorilla pit and she she should have been charged for the child's murder the gorilla shouldn't have been killed for a situation that was entirely out of its hands.

[@evenbetter6655]

@@pinkdiamond1847 the thing is as human society members we value more lifes of humanthan any other animal, so to save a kid from dying thzoo keepers killed a gorilla, it doesn't matter if the gorilla was innocent and if the mother guilty. It wouldve been utterly unacceptable to let a child die in name of "justice"

[@lolki3727]

"And the unfortunate rooster was condemned to death and burned at the stake." I believe they call that a spit roast.

[@jondw]

fun fact, chickens who can no longer lay eggs often start taking on rooster like characteristics. not saying this is what happened(someone probably would notice if the rooster accused used to be a hen) but i wonder if it may be connected to the idea of a rooster laying an egg if this process happened early

[@charmygreen665]

Great video

[@Flow86767]

To be honest, that was really interesting.

[@HornadyMatt]

I love your name.

[@feldsmann2]

Not only interesting, but still relevant in ongoing discussions about animals rights.

[@AirTerranean]

To be honest, this was also hilarious.

[@manictiger]

Interesting, hilarious and sad. God we're a stupid species. This is why aliens won't visit us.

[@tylergibbons9824]

10:33 “No harm, no fowl”...lol

[@Discotechque]

What do rodents say when they get caught stealing grains? "rats! They're onto us!"

[@yorangey_LOC]

INANIMATE OBJECT MURDER TRIALS!! I hope they still do that because I would love to see a bunch of men attempt to kill a coffee maker (Edit: I watched 30 more seconds into the video and realized how stupid I was but I do want to see a coffee maker go to trial for murder)

[@SamwellWK]

I can imagine the chicanery that might have gone down in Ancient Greece regarding the guilt of inanimate objects: "Objection! I did not kill that man. My sword did!"

[@VechsDavion]

When you realize a lot of people literally think this about guns...

[@djangomarkov7948]

@@VechsDavion No they don't, propagandist just promote the idea that they do so the sheep will do their bidding. You are but a sheep. Can you be guilty of ignorance if its in your nature?

[@theironpill9296]

>Stop condemning roosters to death >Shortly after, World War erupts Yeah i'm thinking they were on to something

[@justacommenter]

I like how the music for the rooster being burnt at the stake is the same as the music for Labienus dying

[@thegamingjelly1719]

I feel like the judge in the first one ended up with a huge amount of respect for the attorney

[@termeownator]

The Peloponnese: "Damnit, Athens, quit expelling all your bad humours onto our peninsula. The Megarid's livid as well..."

[@marcusaurelius2147]

So 500 years ago animals had a right to a just public trail by a jury, while beeing defended by a professional lawyer. it seems animal rights have been steadily declining these last centuries...

[@shorewall]

right? :D

[@Mrjoemill123]

if my dog sucked and was going to be put on trial id visit in jail. no way im getting his sucky tail bailed out of jail

[@democracydignityhumanrights]

Coraru K we have too many cows, it’s time for a cow genocide.

[@alexanderchristopher6237]

@@democracydignityhumanrights cow genocide: exists McDonald's: I'll take your entire stock

[@okbro3524]

@Coraru K By giving rights to animals, we will go backwards

[@fishy492]

Imagine hanging a vase after it was found guilty of murder

[@davidcunningham2074]

fascinating and highly entertaining.

[@OriruBastard]

Well, technically animals do face trials even today. But usually that trial is very much simplified. If animal such a dog starts biting others, the result usually is death.

[@davidjacobs8558]

exactly, even the wild life are not free from execution. If animals like bears, mountain lions, coyotes attack human or domesticated animals, they are hunted down and killed.

[@walterbell1529]

ey,, same for bears a town in alaska found a bear innocent of tearing up my sisters trash can which was surrounded by electrical fence, an obvious show of trespassing and destruction of private property turns out the troopers and city counsel were all ran by bears don't get me wrong, my family has nothing against bears, we've hired them as private militants to protect our property before in the past with payment in forms of hogs, but my sisters new clan was just starting out and could not afford at the time to hire any protection for their land and to think all my sisters clan wanted done to the trespasser was to be molecularly broken up bit by bit by a giant 100ft by 100ft, 12.1ft tall yellow slime that was starving to death after a local preschool was no longer able to keep it feed healthy-ly, such absurdity and kookiness the lack of justice my state has

[@gokbay3057]

I mean, that's less a trial and more vigilante justice/revenge killing

[@CThyran]

@@gokbay3057 If it was a person sure, but as this video shows the entire trial charade falls flat when a chicken is being brought to court.

[@fakename7901]

Ye at least back then they had a lawyer

[@angelsartandgaming]

The whole rat court trial I swear feels like something out of Ace Attorney with it's goofiness, loopholes, a ridiculous client, a kooky yet knowledgeable defense attorney, and a slightly gullible judge. But this was real! And I love every inch of this, how did I not know this was real until now!

[@dictolory]

The church: the rats are destroying property, let's sue them. Australia: We're going to war.

[@nicarus6800]

I’m surprised the lawyer didn’t go the route of saying rats can’t read or understand human language, so they would need a rat translator to verbally inform every rat that they must attend court

[@jeffvella9765]

He did a one better, with the cats. The lawyer knew that in order for the church to drop the case, he needed to force the court into an impossible demand similar to how impossible it was to get the rats in court willingly. The court wanted the rats in court but it had no means to secure their safety, the judge knew it was impossible and set the date to TBA.

[@Savage-zh2gs]

Prisoner number: 23476 Crime: Murder Plead statement: .... Species: Rock

[@rei1sba315]

"I AM THE BEST BIRD LAWYER OF ALL TIME! BIRD LAW!" "What does that even mean?"

[@Derp12]

It's so funny how he chants "BIRD LAW!"

[@SinnohGreen]

I love how the judge is on board to give the Rats rights when they’re perceived to be in the wrong but as soon as the lawyer starts giving the same Level of reasoned argument, they’re all like ‚the rats? Like, they don’t Even speak English man‘

[@DiscipleFiveActual]

René Descartes' take on whether or not animals are capable of evil reminds me of the anecdote with the Hindu sage in which he says, "It's the dharma of the scorpion to sting."