Can Animals Commit Crimes?

[@treeshakertucker5840]

This is gloriously stupid and I love it!

[@divusgaiusjuliuscaesar4657]

I am disappointed at levels that cannot be described

[@highlybased107]

how is this comment 2 weeks old and the video just came out

[@lakrids-pibe]

Definitely worth a detour to 14th century France

[@krcrk]

esems shirt patreon privilege

[@ledibak7735]

@@highlybased107 I guess the video was unlisted for 2 weeks for patrons.

[@hogndog2339]

Judge: Do you have anything to say about this? Roof tile: Judge: Guilty

[@TimThomason]

"You are hereafter exiled from this city."

[@chamuchamupalchamperry6686]

"I didn't kill the man, The Knife did it!" The Knife: "See? It can't deny it!"

[@editsonimovie8681]

Chamuchamu Palcham Perry Knife: P-pweaz don’t hewt me ;-;

[@ender01o66]

@@editsonimovie8681 XD

[@dumbass3618]

It seems funny right but before science people had no way to gauge the intelligence of animals.

[@SnowyJakub]

The rat story is a next level shitpost so far ahead of it's time

[@anonym3]

Yee

[@paichni3474]

They had cat assassins XD

[@dazey856]

@@paichni3474 dude that had me dead that he claimed they were assassins lmao

[@lobster9059]

theres also the one dude who sold shitty copper

[@Mochi_Wan]

Fr man

[@TheModernMartialArtist]

Easy way to tell if the rooster was guilty: Did it weigh the same as a witch?

[@guyanon]

Is this a crossover Episode? My 2 favourite YTers

[@JodenPaoloPeroy]

But does it float?

[@rockCity777]

@@JodenPaoloPeroy Yes it does. So it's made of wood.

[@irongeneral7861]

BURRRRRRN HIM!

[@JodenPaoloPeroy]

@@rockCity777 could be a duck?

[@dazey856]

That man was a genius for choosing to make a name for himself by defending rats

[@flexprime2010]

it does please the horned rat yes-yes

[@syourke3]

Sammy “The Bull” Gravano?

[@robertjarman3703]

Lawyers always defend their own kind.

[@lysidplontger3980]

I thought that's what all lawyers did

[@Atomhaz]

And it worked because we are still talking about him!

[@REDKILLER1251]

Everybody gangsta till the rats start committing tax fraud

[@jonyahraus4283]

The rats are friends with Yoshi

[@dacreator1226]

everybody gangsta till duolingo takes your family hostage

[@youreallinsane]

One of my favorite comments on YT

[@dacreator1226]

@Robert Kööp you're goddamn right

[@Gold_Yoshi]

@@jonyahraus4283 rats r coo

[@theodoric7335]

As soon as we stopped animal trials we had some of the deadliest wars in history including WW1 and WW2, I rest my case

[@Phelan666]

30 years war was, proportionally, far more devastating.

[@theodoric7335]

@@Phelan666 People don't know it very well so I didn't mention it

[@whoareyou1034]

I mean, he is not wrong...

[@dajjukunrama5695]

Nothing explains the EU 4Head

[@mrniceguy7168]

Yellow King ahh, never fails, someone says something funny and someone has to say “akshually...”

[@frosty2579]

He should have just said the court notice was in a language the rats could not read so the notices would have to be written in rat and just left it at that to screw with the judge

[@neurofiedyamato8763]

There was a lot of other arguments that would of been impossible to resolvable for the court.

[@ccvcharger]

Objection! If a rat can learn to cook by reading a French cookbook, then it is completely rational to believe that rats can read a court notice that is also posted in French.

[@______608]

Same thing I thought here...

[@______608]

@@ccvcharger Hahahaha Ratatouille!!!!

[@maxscott3349]

Why didn't they speak the local language? They immigrated legally, didn't they?

[@N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S.]

0:44 "Chassenée was looking to make a name for himself" Given that we're talking about this 500 years later, it would appear that he was successful. It would also appear, interestingly, that this may never have actually happened, but then history is full of such interesting tidbits.

[@Chungus581]

He became a pretty prominent lawyer and his work influenced the Napoleonic Code

[@BeelZeDemon]

I'd feel sorry for the rooster but we can't take chances with basilisks. In fact, since no basilisk attacked the village, the rooster was obviously guilty, and the plot of the local witch was thwarted.

[@saguntum-iberian-greekkons7014]

Indeed! They did save the city from a giant snake attack, im sure the Rooster was disapointed that the villagers saw throught his machiavellic plan!

[@lucky-yv5yn]

Somebody’s about to get wooshed.

[@mushroomflow8499]

@@lucky-yv5yn whoosh

[@lucky-yv5yn]

Mushroom Flow What joke did I miss...? Also, I hate it when people use woosh on KZbin lol. You probably have no idea what it actually is, or have never actually seen r/woooosh, judging by your spelling of it.

[@mushroomflow8499]

@@lucky-yv5yn I'm sorry I just got irritated by your response in this reply section

[@Sternab]

"He was being annoying but kinda had a point" So like most lawyers then?

[@sinfulloccultist950]

*Wright

[@trueberry4094]

@@sinfulloccultist950 I don’t see any grammer mistakes?

[@laysthechip3356]

@@trueberry4094 …Phoenix Wright..ace attorney reference

[@trueberry4094]

@@laysthechip3356 oh lol my bad

[@il00vemoney]

@@sinfulloccultist950 right*

[@ldtobi1]

Prisoner: “How’d you get in here?” Pig: “Oink.” Prisoner: “Wow, I only murdered a few people.”

[@SamTheEnglishTeacher]

Murderers were executed pretty quickly. The practice of housing, clothing and feeding ruthless animals for 20+ years started very very recently (and will probably end once people can no longer ignore how unsustainable it is, both in terms of finance and genetic load). Sorry for my bad English.

[@flipflop_bell]

technoblade

[@FunAngelo2005]

@@flipflop_bell i knew it was coming,but i did not know from where

[@lostmykeys85]

Are those fists? OINK

[@CrabmanReturns]

Prisoner: how’d you get in here? Rock: Prisoner: You’re insane dude

[@grace5033]

Fun fact: most lizards have not committed war crimes against Yugoslavia (key word: MOST)

[@EliEnby]

I'm sorry... what?- 💀 Please tell me what kind of war crime against Yugoslavia was committed by a frickin lizard

[@selahanany5645]

@@EliEnby a green one

[@EliEnby]

@@selahanany5645 ah yes, thank you for that information. I would have never thought of that if you didn't tell me! now all my questions have been answered :)

[@selahanany5645]

@@EliEnby you are welcome :)

[@EliEnby]

@chinsaw2727 oh, true! I didn't think of that one

[@BalsticMaker12]

And we thought having parrots as witnesses in court is already weird enough.

[@aguynamedsmith6489]

Please be a reference to what I think you're referencing

[@avatarwan5824]

@@aguynamedsmith6489 Ace Attorney!!!!!

[@Tuntor689]

Reality imitates art

[@ДнсФамилия-в1ы]

@@avatarwan5824 More like... ASS ATTORNEY

[@petalleaf2808]

@@avatarwan5824 Ace Attorney? I thought it was that one KZbin video where a parrot was a witness to their owner's murder by her brother/friend, since the husband noticed how strange the parrot acted around the brother/friend after the wife's murder.

[@niklimnat1061]

yall worrying about animals being convicted of crimes, but inanimate objects tho

[@X606]

This lamp burned Larry, so we should burn it!

[@Pb0b178]

"A murderous roof tile"

[@ThreeBeeHDb]

@@Pb0b178The Dad: BILLY! ARE YOU THRO... The Dad: *sees dead body* The Dad: Billy, why is our neighbor dead? Billy: IT WAS THE ROCK!!! The Dad: *looks at bloody rock* *one trial later* City: BURN THE ROCK!!!

[@spudsbuchlaw]

Blender found guilty after dedickitating multipul people

[@dust1077]

This deserves more likes

[@marcosbravo9645]

"so the rats could get their affairs in order" Congratulations, two minutes in and I already lost it.

[@e1123581321345589144]

I also loved the bit with the cat assassins. lmao :)))

[@xxXXXxxx852]

What did you lose?

[@236_muhammadfadlirakananda2]

the swirling rats sent me 😭😭

[@নামনেই-ঞ২র]

@@xxXXXxxx852 he meant he burst out in laughter or he genuinely smiled or something similar to that.

[@YoungOddo]

mafrandaa please move your cats indoors so rats can come😭Imagine tryna explain that to somebody

[@DCMelo_UC]

Julius Caesar, Marc Antony, Cleopatra, Alexander the Great, Phillip II, literally every human ever: Get squares Demonic rooster laying Basilisk making eggs: Bust out the animation! I appreciate that HC has his priorities straight

[@howdyciaody]

Imagine not being a featureless square and having to keep a strait face, calling cats assasins in court like that

[@fedos]

IIRC there was a case in the US where it was charged that a political candidate won unfairly because his supporters were shooting at his opponents who approached the polling location. The judge ruled that it was fair because basically anyone who was sufficiently brave would have been able to continue through the gunfire. Wish I could remember the details better than that so I could properly verify it.

[@CareerKnight]

@@fedos That sounds deeply stupid, unfortunately that has nothing to do with whether it happened or not.

[@fedos]

@@CareerKnight The stupidity of it is probably why it stuck with me, real or not.

[@fernandoalmeida2491]

fedos haha I wanted to read this story, but I sadly couldnt find

[@fedos]

@@fernandoalmeida2491 Yeah, whenever I try to find it again I end up with recent voting rights rulings. We're talking about something I read about 20 years ago.

[@wittycommentator]

Your honor, I'm just a simple country lawyer. But I do declare that my client did not intend to lay that egg

[@refinedwrath9030]

Is that a futurama reference?

[@big_egg953]

egg

[@zacri9434]

egg

[@xxXXXxxx852]

Pretty sure he did it to offend me.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

@@refinedwrath9030 "Now, I know it must be awfully scary in that there witness stand, but there's nothing to fear, darlin'. BAGAWK! Oh, I'm sorry - I thought you was corn."

[@richardcyr9040]

The judge: "Do you understand the charges against you?" The pig: "Squeak."

[@ewantaylor2758]

Judge: "Pig, you are accused of mixing up the village stockpiles of Oil and Ink, what exactly where you trying to achieve?" Pig: "Oink"

[@cheemsdog7662]

Hes a dad and a criminal! XD

[@pcslug3122]

@@ewantaylor2758 good one!

[@bearmarco1944]

@@ewantaylor2758 Ignorantia juris non excusat!

[@StarbitzTheSpookyClown]

“I murdered a man, what are you in for.” A gold fish:

[@shunyat9023]

Imagine spending 20 years to become a lawyer and your debut case was defending a random chicken, also you lost.

[@GrandMoffTarkinsTeaDispenser]

Death to the chicken.

[@saxonjedi5878]

@Mr. Whiskers that orca did nought worng

[@Hawkfire360]

Oh! This explains something I didn't understand about Oedipus Rex. The "pollution on the land" wasn't a metaphor, Oedipus was literally exuding bad vibes

[@leonardo9259]

Quite literally

[@ethanbotterill2743]

Yeah! It's called miasma, it's a plague or ill happening that occurs when a crime has not been avenged

[@nonbinaryDes]

I was literally thinking the same thing after watching this video! that they really meant it when they said he was the "heart of our corruption". What a coincidence

[@QualityPen]

Bad vibes is an awesome way of describing divine punishment for crimes committed.

[@readmyusernamecauseitssoreally]

"if they're not here, I propose they'd be guilty of their crimes" But they're rats... They didnt even know they were guilty of anything in the first place

[@thetenthone]

That's what they want you to think

[@Kittsuera]

plot twist. the rats started the plague for all the unjust actions against them

[@liltone9614]

Nor do they even know there meant to be there

[@theawesomeking5513]

Well i mean not knowing the law doesnt expel u from it

[@charlesisnothome6694]

@@theawesomeking5513 I mean in most cases if you don’t have the mental capacity to understand your crime they just put you in psychiatric care. Though animals are quite different in which they don’t have the capacity to understand any of the human rules and systems.

[@hairlessgrizzly559]

*minor inconvenience occurs* The Church: "Wouldn't that make you... GUILTY!?"

[@notsocrates9529]

Yes.

[@hitrapperandartistdababy]

History really is the greatest TV show we never got

[@hdipan7731]

Si se escucha profe 😳😳😳

[@abdiabdi1990]

Imagine if reality shows existed back then

[@colonelcorneliuscornwall3547]

It’s pacing is just really slow

[@mr.supersonicultra9131]

@@colonelcorneliuscornwall3547 ikr there is to much filler

[@saint8711]

Have you considered "Horrible histories" Incredible tv show

[@ccswelding1599]

did animal trials REALLY increase...or did people just catch onto the idea of a good barbecue?

[@dulguunnorjinbat6136]

mmm, rat bbq

[@momon969]

"Hey, do you think that chicken is possessed by the devil?" "Now that you mention it, yeah, I could eat."

[@yeahaight3495]

The profile pic makes this so much better

[@yee5074]

@@yeahaight3495 ikr its so yankish

[@nekrouni8497]

The rat case is proof of how flexible the court can be Also this is funny as fuck

[@spideraba769]

An interesting note: some places still allow inanimate objects to be tried in court, even to this day. A relatively modern instance is the case of _Krabs v. Plankton_ in Bikini Bottom in 2005: Krabs's representative, Mr. SquarePants, called a mop to the stand as a suspected guilty party. Naturally, the mop, being an inanimate object, did not respond to SquarePants's questioning.

[@mudcake_andworms]

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

[@DaShoopdahoop]

Thank you for making me laugh during covid times.

[@ericolens3]

@@DaShoopdahoop Im sorry for you not laughing as often. I try to laugh at least once an hour.

[@Luigiofthegods]

"Need I remind you that you sir are under oath?!"

[@jy3n2]

More seriously, civil forfeiture cases are against property rather than against people. Thus, we get things like Texas v. One Gold Crucifix or US v. Forty-Three Gallons of Whiskey.

[@MrBoombastic1904]

My dog ate all of my beef jerky today while I was at work. So to answer the question, YES. Yes they can.

[@BubbaJ18]

Take it to court, no mercy!!!

[@parkchimmin7913]

Dolphins also purposefully agitate pufferfishes cause they want to get high off of the pufferfishes’ venom. They take in the venom and they pass the pufferfish to the next dolphin. Also, dolphins rape almost any thing. They’re assholes of the sea.

[@ender01o66]

@@parkchimmin7913 XD

[@parkchimmin7913]

Ender 01o I don’t like dolphins .-.

[@gizel4376]

​@@parkchimmin7913 it's hard to sue for raping if the victims doesn't talk, and DEA are not very well equip to control pufferfish trafic

[@FyWhy]

Pope: I excommunicate this foul mole Farmer: You have gained "excommunicated" CB against a mole.

[@respublica4373]

Men of culture are in this comment section.

[@viniciusteixeira6736]

Bah, why bother with christian CB, just turn pagan and conquer those cross worhsipers

[@alanetchetto8908]

@@viniciusteixeira6736 I found the pagan mole guys

[@markay779]

@@viniciusteixeira6736 Why bother with pagans? Just convert to zoroastrianism and marry your sister.

[@tdoge]

@@vincentiusvincentius7557 >Farmer pays 100 gold To whom exactly??

[@kbbl102.5]

“No harm, no fowl” made me audibly laugh for the first time in probably two weeks and I’m grateful for that. Thanks

[@geraldysjunk]

The first story sounds like something Sam O Nella should cover

[@samuelr.6046]

He did my boy

[@TheGreenYoutuber]

God I miss him

[@iforgor6673]

@@samuelr.6046 when

[@bp_cherryblossomtree723]

Fish Jenga

[@LavroseRovender]

defi

[@nekomancer1495]

"Rat rattington, you are guilty of tax fraud. how do you plead?" **"RAT NOISES"**

[@RonanPalacios]

GUILTY! DEATH TO YOU RAT RATTINGTON!

[@BrokensoulRider]

ratatatatatatatatatatatta sqeek squeek.

[@rexroyulada6267]

Glorious

[@timomastosalo]

No, it was Nibbles Rat (name translated from medieval French), and his family. Rattington lives in England.

[@TruthNerds]

Poor Rat Rattington, somebody must've ratted him out.

[@jlkjlkjkljklj9162]

No one is talking about "No Harm, No Fowl", but I see it, sir, and I appreciate it.

[@Soreshy]

The rats right before the incident: _Rats, we're rats, we're the rats!_ _We pray at night, we stalk at night, we're the rats!_ *I'm the giant rat that makes all of the rules!* _Let's see what kind of trouble we get ourselves into~_

[@bwoah525]

RIP Rooster ????-1474 He died cause some dumb chicken laid an egg in his pen

[@Prich319]

ikr? Damn feminist chickens, framing innocent roosters with false crimes.

[@lopez.jacinto.6726]

You weren't there, you can't know, maybe that rooster wasn't that innocent. Have you seen how they chase after kids? Those little allies of the Devil...

[@BLooDCoMPleX]

What are you talking about, it was his pen, obviously he laid the egg. How could a chicken ever laid the egg there, it's HIS pen.

[@gamewarrior2216]

Maybe the rooster was transgender, that's why the church was so adamant to persecute it.

[@curious_one1156]

@@gamewarrior2216 Conspiracy

[@Engy_Wuck]

"the practise of putting animals on trials has vanished" - ah, well, let's just say it changed enough to no longer make it a trial. But the problem still is the same: how do you handle an animal that has caused harm and/or death of a human? In the case of domestic animals essentially the owner is now charged, because he indirectly caused it by neglicience (or even on purpose, e.g. if he raised a dog to attack humans and ordered it to attack). But in some cases where the animal is "incorrigible" it is ordered by the authorities to be separated from the owner or even put to death. In case of wild animals also some entity decides what to do, up to ordering hunters to shoot the animal (say a wild bear or a wolf that has shown to attack near human habitation multiple times - happens every few years). In both cases, especially for the wild animals, it just doesn't go to "human court" anymore, but still some entity looks at the evidence and decides if that animal did the deed it's accused of and what should be done. There even may be lawyers involved :-)

[@pinkdiamond1847]

Sadly the animal gets put down when the attack is entirely the humans fault. Like those KZbinrs who put their dog down after the child was playing with the dogs food and got bit by the dog as a result and let's not forget Harambe. We need to bring back fair trials for animals.

[@happyllama1160]

@@pinkdiamond1847 Harambe was entirely justified. Gorrilas and chimpanzees are horrifyingly dangerous creatures and he could have easily killed that boy whether he meant it or not. There is no way he could have lived. They could have used a tranquilliser but that would have enraged him and he would have torn the kid apart. What did you want them to do? Let the kid be ripped apart by a massive territorial male gorilla and hold a trial afterwards? It was a sad incident but zoos have a responsibility to keep their guests safe and their lives come before any of the animals. The mother was stupid, but it wasn’t the boys fault.

[@happyllama1160]

The laws against pit-bull type dogs in the UK is horrifying and sad. Many dogs are destroyed or must be muzzled when around people for simply looking slightly pit-bully. They can’t help what they are and pitbulls can be wonderful pets when trained properly

[@pinkdiamond1847]

@@happyllama1160 The mother shouldn't have been allowed to lift her child over the gorilla pit and she she should have been charged for the child's murder the gorilla shouldn't have been killed for a situation that was entirely out of its hands.

[@evenbetter6655]

@@pinkdiamond1847 the thing is as human society members we value more lifes of humanthan any other animal, so to save a kid from dying thzoo keepers killed a gorilla, it doesn't matter if the gorilla was innocent and if the mother guilty. It wouldve been utterly unacceptable to let a child die in name of "justice"

[@redpotato2585]

Me: Can't wait for Caesar's Death episode from Historia Civilis Historia Civilis: CaN aNImAls CoMmIt CrImES? Edit: Historia Civilis already mentioned Caesar's Death

[@villumsonne1107]

The assassination of Caesar proves that :)

[@ahmedbassam400]

Exactly what I was thinking

[@sam08g16]

HEY HEY stop with the SPOILERS!

[@SmallFries01]

@@sam08g16 Caesar dies? WTF

[@jdosuna4453]

@@SmallFries01 he cant die yet he hasn't got to the part where he invented the salad

[@Reirek]

“It’s remarkable something like this was coming out of the church in the 13th century” Believe me, Aquinas is probably the smartest man to ever have lived. His theories and theology were so batshit crazy at the time, but a lot of what he said about the ‘natural world’ was proven by science over 700 years later

[@josephfox9221]

personally I would have to say Palamas had a better grasp of theology

[@dazey856]

There have a been several people to be way beyond their time but at this point it’ll rare to have anyone like them since there’s only so much we can really progress by at a time

[@TheMylittletony]

A lot of his stuff was batshit crazy too.

[@JP-rf8rr]

I wouldn't say "batshit" crazy at the time. I don't think bonoventure, Henry Genet, Scotus, Lomard, or Anselm disagree too significantly on theology. Henry and Bonoventure were more Augustinian, Scotus takes some new directions in line of the Franciscans, but they're not that far removed from each other.

[@Zorro9129]

Aquinas was a gift to the world who has been up to now unmatched. The secular world sadly understates his philosophy.

[@jamescusack6511]

In other news, Florida man arrested for excommunicating local crocodile

[@terner1234]

F L O R I D A M A N

[@paulchambaz8906]

It is so upsetting that the rooster went out this way. He deserved better. Historian Albert Eggstein call him the greatest rooster in medieval history. I love the rooster, I'm in that camp too...

[@leeofthe7seas]

Don't eat chicken

[@lorenzooliveira1157]

Nice reference there, amigo

[@hihi-nm3uy]

I caught that reference, because I watch HC so much that I recognise his speech habits.

[@michaelwang1524]

But my dog ate my homework!!! Clearly work of satan himself, eating the pathway to knowledge.

[@-Faris-]

Unacceptable! I will call the regional cardinal and public execution will take place at the town square!

[@midshipman8654]

Michael Wang How does it feel to sentence your dog to a execution, just because you forgot to write your research paper last night? Are you proud of yourself?

[@michaelwang1524]

@@midshipman8654I feel like John Wicking myself... :(

[@johnloman4164]

@Jack the Gestapo Asian 100

[@natalyn139]

satan lost touch with adam and eve and forgot how to find the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, so he had to settle for tempting your dog to eat the paper of the knowledge of history and social studies

[@TangIsLife]

Severely underrated video. I keep coming back to rewatch it ven though I don’t even rewatch movies/shows I love.

[@cartmann94]

Rat Lawyer: Your magistrate, my clients can't appear at this trial. They're surrounded by assassins! Julius Caesar: Did somebody say Assassins?!?

[@physical_insanity]

I can just imagine Caesar rising out of his grave like a robot sitting up and just snapping his head right to the camera as he says that.

[@MikeGill87]

Yeah, that's the video I was hoping for today... Doesn't matter. Any HC video is equally interesting, some are just a bit more my cup of tea. Caesar. Must. Die. Soon!

[@ThePrinceofParthia]

More like: Everyone: You're surrounded by assassins! Julius Caesar: Everyone: oh fuck oh no he has his airpods in doesn't he?

[@ObligedUniform]

Assassini!

[@fuhq5121]

Watn it greece? I thought him a roman.

[@Kriegter]

Normal people's reaction to a murder: Somebody got murdered! Who did this! Greeks: Those god damn murder gasses are spreading like an epidemic again

[@ItSquishy]

well shit the damn evil gases back at it again

[@marcusaurelius2147]

So 500 years ago animals had a right to a just public trail by a jury, while beeing defended by a professional lawyer. it seems animal rights have been steadily declining these last centuries...

[@shorewall]

right? :D

[@Mrjoemill123]

if my dog sucked and was going to be put on trial id visit in jail. no way im getting his sucky tail bailed out of jail

[@カスカディア国人]

Coraru K we have too many cows, it’s time for a cow genocide.

[@alexanderchristopher6237]

@@カスカディア国人 cow genocide: exists McDonald's: I'll take your entire stock

[@okbro3524]

@Coraru K By giving rights to animals, we will go backwards

[@internet_introvert]

Nature is actually inclined towards "meh, good enough"

[@Kimmie6772]

Oh look, his horns are going through his skull. What? They had babies already? Eh, good enough.

[@xenan7889]

"the rooster was burned at the stake" me: so sad also me: eats a chicken sandwich

[@Limbolots0]

@@Vohasiiv not to burst your bubble but noo... they are killed in a pretty brutal way

[@livipup]

At least the death of that chicken lead to something meaningful, continuing another life.

[@xenan7889]

@@Vohasiiv you are so innocent

[@dumbass3618]

8:55 my favorite part

[@Fankas2000]

@@livipup Now hey last time I check burning produces carbon dioxide, carbon dioxide is then "eaten" by plants. So burning that roster did continue a another life.

[@mayevie]

"the rooster was convicted of cavorting with Satan" i bursted out laughing so suddenly my mom was startled lmao

[@indonesiakid1396]

Bruh even a roaster idk what is going on

[@deez2037]

In all honesty, the only animals, as a whole species, to ever to go against God were snakes and some others only, not roosters.

[@theironpill9296]

>Stop condemning roosters to death >Shortly after, World War erupts Yeah i'm thinking they were on to something

[@Sponsorbagel]

i'm pretty sure i heard of a guy who got a prison sentence because "his" fingerprints were found on a dead body. turns out that it was a koala who killed the deceased person, they suspected him because koala fingerprints are almost indistinguishable from human fingerprints and this koala's prints were basically the same as the supposed murderer. this would suck so hard lmao

[@The_ZeroLine]

lol, yeah, no.

[@lolki3727]

"And the unfortunate rooster was condemned to death and burned at the stake." I believe they call that a spit roast.

[@Flow86767]

To be honest, that was really interesting.

[@HornadyMatt]

I love your name.

[@feldsmann2]

Not only interesting, but still relevant in ongoing discussions about animals rights.

[@AirTerranean]

To be honest, this was also hilarious.

[@manictiger]

Interesting, hilarious and sad. God we're a stupid species. This is why aliens won't visit us.

[@michealroth120800]

5:11 I'm just imagining a roof tile getting arrested for murder...

[@krankarvolund7771]

Now imagine the lawyer who have to prove that this roof tile is innocent XD The experts: Athens would be very fun xD

[@merrittanimation7721]

Lawyer: “CONFESS” Roof Tile: *Is a roof tile*

[@edwardokaa]

After serving its time for the murder, all Roof Tile wanted was to start again with a clean slate

[@Reignor99]

@@edwardokaa See yourself out.

[@amulet2350]

FeelsPyrrhusMan

[@noahkhan206]

Your use of music and timing is amazing, love your videos!

[@ledibak7735]

Did they eat domesticated animals which were executed? Or were they afraid of the evil within those animals?

[@nicosmind3]

"Arrest that chicken. Also arrest those vegetables, and clean drinking water.... Wait a second!! Did those noodles fund this crime? Arrest them too!" *Makes chicken noodle soup*

[@skully460]

If you're the rooster, apparently you get burned at the stake!

[@prajuangwahyudi3738]

@@skully460 just another way of saying grilled chicken

[@Hlodolog]

Judge: I sentence those pigs to be burned! Farmers: Have mercy! Judge: Alright... grilled only.

[@unocarb]

@@skully460 Rotisserie chicken

[@simen3971]

I was expecting the glorious conclusion to the Caesar saga, but this is really interesting. The moral framework of medieval Europe had so many weird aspects to it, from witch trials to the Cadaver Synod to this.

[@MCorpReview]

Simen this is weirder than the witch trials. Totally unexpected. I doubt the priests could find references in the Bible. They juz absorbed pagan beliefs and ran with it like Easter.

[@SamwellWK]

I can imagine the chicanery that might have gone down in Ancient Greece regarding the guilt of inanimate objects: "Objection! I did not kill that man. My sword did!"

[@VechsDavion]

When you realize a lot of people literally think this about guns...

[@djangomarkov7948]

@@VechsDavion No they don't, propagandist just promote the idea that they do so the sheep will do their bidding. You are but a sheep. Can you be guilty of ignorance if its in your nature?

[@MartinSimonnet]

This is very clearly one of my favourite pieces of content, ever produced in media. Any type of media. Ever.

[@Lexingtonandconcord75]

Listen man, I havent watched the video yet but the title has got me concerned

[@ahmedbassam400]

😂 brilliant

[@iriechpiemapping8656]

Rightly so

[@icarus2oo21]

As crime is a human construct the the answer has to be yes, a better question is should we criminalise the acts of animals?

[@Lexingtonandconcord75]

@@icarus2oo21 i think geese need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Blockin the roads and shit

[@angelsartandgaming]

The whole rat court trial I swear feels like something out of Ace Attorney with it's goofiness, loopholes, a ridiculous client, a kooky yet knowledgeable defense attorney, and a slightly gullible judge. But this was real! And I love every inch of this, how did I not know this was real until now!

[@Savage-zh2gs]

Prisoner number: 23476 Crime: Murder Plead statement: .... Species: Rock

[@OuroborosChoked]

Biggest legal questions of Western civilization: Can animals commit crimes? Can monarchs commit crimes? Coincidence?

[@tom13king]

I wonder if one day historians will say 'During the 19th-21st centuries, animal trials declined and almost disappeared. Thankfully they were eventually brought back, because clearly that's the right thing to do.'

[@coolafman]

Look up civil forfeiture laws. Animals can be seized and charged as criminals as in the same manner as cash.

[@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human]

The civil forfeiture laws the US have are nuts. There have been trials where the police are prosecuting €50,000. Imagine trying to cross examine a big pile of cash. Anything that can be linked to a drug crime.I think is the law (I live in the UK, so I'm not entirely sure). So the police can seize and try anything they can argue was being used in the drug trade. Everything from cash and cars to houses. And the individual police department get to keep what they seize, so they have the motivation to seize everything they can There was a guy who was buying a car on eBay and paying cash on collection, was travelling to the seller's house when he got stopped by the police. They refused to believe that the money wasn't being used to buy drugs even after the guy showed them the emails with the seller and the eBay listing. They confiscated the several grand from the guy. You can appeal a seizure, but the judge is a senior police offical from that department, so it's not exactly an impartial hearing. Tl;dr the US is nuts sometimes.

[@termeownator]

The Peloponnese: "Damnit, Athens, quit expelling all your bad humours onto our peninsula. The Megarid's livid as well..."

[@elliejohnson2786]

Awe. He's playing the sad music for the rooster just like he did for Caesar :( Good night my little king rooster, we will miss you.

[@julienh3965]

This is by far the best video on the internet today. Historia Civilis is some kind of genius

[@tylergibbons9824]

10:33 “No harm, no fowl”...lol

[@Twistedman2000]

You are seriously the best history youtuber out there.

[@sa_exploder]

"You are seriously the best h̶i̶s̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ youtuber out there." ftfy

[@charliebohem2320]

That “No harm no fowl” joke has to contribute to some kind of metaphysical KZbin pollution right?

[@nitroboosting1622]

I love how the lawyer Starts making Childish reasons then actually making a point

[@Byzas000]

Man, Bird Law really isn't governed by reason

[@georgewilson7432]

Neither Man's law.

[@sa_exploder]

I'll take that advice under cooperation, alright? Now, let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor?

[@AverageJohanson]

14:36 - FINALLY I see this mentioned in any educational work! Since elementary school as well as on television it's always: "Nobles = Bad; Church = Bad", when reality was WAY more nuanced than that

[@thezivac12]

This is a general truth about the normal people of any time. If a criminal trial becomes public, people tend to push towards stronger punishment than actual judges.

[@wherethetatosat]

Can animals commit crimes? My dolphin overlords assure me the answer is no as they eye my nether regions.

[@timomastosalo]

Can plants or mushrooms commit crimes? Yes, arrest whichever went in this man in the form of smoke!

[@Poffean]

*CHOMP*

[@ilkkarautio2449]

Dolphins are the second smartest species after us Nosy-Sharks (we eat knowledge) and you hoomans are 3rd. 😳 BTW: dolphins can get depressed and commit suicide. Let that sink in. No, clearly just an automata...

[@Nen_niN]

@@ilkkarautio2449 could be argue that nature, if indeed designen by god, could've been set up so that these automata can display human characteristics to further the human experience, although still remaining automata

[@unchartedthoughts7527]

**_"eeeee heee hee yeeing" you sensually_**

[@Vortexiiixii]

Rats: Thank you, here's your money. Lawyer: It is nice working with you. *Phoneix Wright: Ace Attorney theme song*

[@philip8498]

rats: when the going gets tough, you dont want a criminal laywer, you want a *criminal* lawyer Rat lawyer: Hi, im saul goodman! did you know that you have rights?

[@irongeneral7861]

The plot of "Animal Farm" is much easier to undersand now

[@rei1sba315]

"I AM THE BEST BIRD LAWYER OF ALL TIME! BIRD LAW!" "What does that even mean?"

[@Derp12]

It's so funny how he chants "BIRD LAW!"

[@applecider7009]

You know you’re above mere mortals when you win a court case defending a roof tile

[@Tempest_5.8x42mm]

When you're such a good lawyer you save rats from a lawsuit:

[@Very_Silly_Individual]

"Simple act of nature" Roosters laying eggs isn't what I'd call natural

[@kevingluys3063]

It was probably either a misplaced egg, or a hen with a hormonal imbalance that caused it to develop rooster coloration and behavior (a rare but real thing that happens) and so was assumed to be a rooster by the owner.

[@anzuaoix]

@@kevingluys3063 could be hermaphroditism?

[@ericolens3]

Or why couldn't a male rooster sit on an egg while the hen went to eat or take a bathroom break. Im no bird expert. But I do know male penguins incubate an egg. But lets not argue the details (or lack thereof) from a centruies old incident. I think the farmer should have paid more attention to his hens and rooster. Namely by putting a security camera in the chicken house. Then it would have easily proven a female chicken laid the egg. And why the male chicken was near the egg at the time in question. In short, due to technological limitations and intellectual lacking. The case did not even bring sufficient evidence to make the allege claims even plausible. Case dismissed.

[@deez2037]

LMAO REALLY

[@deez2037]

@@anzuaoix If it was that, then it’s an act of Satan. ☠️

[@patmcgroin4me]

The sad music after the condemning of the rooster was hilarious to me for some reason

[@baykutTr]

ITS NOT A JOKE DAMMİT

[@ausintune9014]

YOU LAUGHED AT A BEINGS DEATH!

[@pvpcake]

I love it as its the same music for the death of pompey and others

[@momirputnik3257]

I just thought man I miss historia civilis and you unlist this thanks!

[@davetrack2950]

I was really hoping you’d talk about Topsy the elephant. She didn’t get a fair trial but she was publicly executed. Poor, poor Topsy.

[@sirharken821]

The virgin modern wageslave: hUr DuR ROosTErs cAn't LaY eGGs The Chad medieval Peasant with vast knowledge of the supernatural: Yes

I just love this comment.

[@LehySnek]

The super-anal-tural

[@indonesiakid1396]

Plot twist there’s no such thing as supernatural

[@MrNote-lz7lh]

@@indonesiakid1396 Yep. Even if ghosts and gods were real they'd just be natural too. No matter what reality altering powers they may possess.

[@indonesiakid1396]

@@MrNote-lz7lh Oke “turns ghost”

[@tobiasimobersteg]

I'm from Basel. I totally love your video. And we definitely have the Basilisk as the city's symbol.

[@spiffinglyBritish]

Literally my favourite channel. Never change that outro song.

[@jileskorey1105]

This is partially why I love history. Reality is stranger than fiction

[@albirasistendragen]

Wow, animal rights really have deteriorated over the years.

[@htoodoh5770]

Wait really?

[@hanburbger7782]

Yeah, they aren't even allowed trials

[@dunyacaliskan7495]

Yeah, it's still common practice to kill pets after they injure a human, all that's changed is they have no right to a trial.

[@Joseph-kd9tx]

@@dunyacaliskan7495 Of course they don't. They are property.

[@dunyacaliskan7495]

@@Joseph-kd9tx Unjustly

[@Meeminator]

_Wolf kills me in minecraft_ Me: Can Animals Commit Crimes?

[@damienp6375]

That rat trial is just so funny. That Chassenée guy is a master troll... and trolling medieval Catholic Church mind you! What an achievement!

[@sevendeadlysquids404]

Brings a whole new meaning to “kangaroo court”

[@42billybob]

"By the 20th century... the practice of putting animals on trial had vanished" Good job. "from Europe" Oh...

[@xeanderman6688]

*Ace Attorney flashbacks*

[@pt8306]

Never underestimate the "enlightenment" of modern Africa

[@TrabberShir]

@@pt8306 Africa? Try America. It is called civil forfeiture.

[@pt8306]

@@TrabberShir Maybe stop running drugs?

[@TrabberShir]

@@pt8306 Just pointing out that y'all are the idiots most likely to charge inanimate objects with crimes. And that your preconceived notion of unenlightened persons in the modern error suffers from an enormous blind spot.

[@JayietheRiverWarrior]

This didn’t involve a trial as far as I’m aware, but there was a raven in the UK a few years ago who I believe got an ASBO for stealing and foul language.

[@diegorialconde]

Huh

[@TheReaperAwaits1337]

*Stares at roof tile* “You know what you did.”

[@jondw]

fun fact, chickens who can no longer lay eggs often start taking on rooster like characteristics. not saying this is what happened(someone probably would notice if the rooster accused used to be a hen) but i wonder if it may be connected to the idea of a rooster laying an egg if this process happened early

[@plughub9750]

That’s the weirdest review of ratatouille I have ever seen…

[@sakuta2231]

*Next up-* "Can animals consent?"

[@Techn1kal]

yes

[@reubenm.d.5218]

Black Mirror, S1 E1

[@dahkohtaah]

Wait no

[@helio3928]

*_fbi is coming_*

[@zzkzkzzkzkzk8945]

It would be nice to see this be broken down logically.

[@feikes1878]

Seeing that you can make massively interesting video's about topics besides Roman history, gives me great hope about the future of your channel.

[@Mushthesquid]

One thing a bot in TF2 played your video in voice and I can never forget that also really informative video