"Can I minimize my symptoms so much I think I'm fine?" ep.192

Today I will talk about our urge to minimize our trauma symptoms and whether or not we can do that so much that we think we are fine. I will explain what causes us to be traumatized and why some people aren’t affected like we are. I will dive into the reasons we can feel like we are making up our mental illnesses, how to talk about sex with a therapist of the opposite sex, and ways we can cope with extreme anxiety and trauma. Finally, I will dive into ways to support our children with their anxiety without making our own worse.
Ask Kati Anything- your mental health podcast, episode 192
1. Is it possible to minimize trauma symptoms (without realizing) so much that you actually believe you're fine until your therapist says that this looks like something that is still bothering you? I always assumed I'm fine...
2. I was wondering if you could talk a bit about what can tip the scales from a person experiencing trauma to being "traumatized". Can we ever cause ourselves to be traumatized by our reaction to the trauma? When I was 8...
3. I was wondering why I always feel like I'm making up my mental disorder? No matter how hard I try to convince myself, I always go back into the same thought. I constantly spend hours searching up why I would feel this way, and no matter how much reassurance I get, it never helps this thought go away. I always end up thinking, "what if I'm just lying to myself" or "what if I've just convinced myself to believe my own lie" ...
4. I am a female with a male therapist. We are starting to talk about sex. I've had a few issues come up as an adult when I have been with men and I sometimes question if he has done similar things to women or to what extent he has been disrespectful...
5. I was wondering how you can cope with extreme anxiety and trauma in a healthy way. I am still at school and at this point I physically can't go into lessons. I don't know why, it's just like my brain won't let me, even if I want to. I try my best to, but there's just this really daunting, exhausting, anxiety provoking feeling whenever I think about it...
6. Can you talk about ways I could help myself when I am trying to stay calm and present when dealing with my child's anxiety but her anxiety is only deeply triggering my anxiety? How do I work through this? I need to help her in the moment but I struggle to not get triggered myself. Thanks for all your wonderful advice!
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/ @katimorton
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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[@Lemonady]

Timestamps! Q1 - 0:44 Q2 - 12:53 Q3 - 21:56 Q4 - 32:30 Q5 - 35:00 Q6 - 39:33

[@JustD1zz]

What are these timestamps labeled exactly?

[@Parsasays]

You are The true legend of this community

[@Lemonady]

@@Parsasays Thanks!

[@ElijahPerrin80]

I am from the psychiatry world and even I struggle with self doubt and get fixated on diagnosis along with self diagnosis so it is always comforting to me and all of you when so many people admit to this and help each other work through the traumas that may be at the heart of the symptom or even the direct cause of all of your hidden traumas. I am lucky to always think in terms of psychiatry because the primary belief is to work on physical problems while addressing emotional trauma and providing appropriate coping skill ideas before thinking of psychiatric medications when possible. This means it is hard to heal the mind before the body because the mind body connection is powerful and only we see them as separate and coping skills are the keystone to good mental health along with addictions and social supports. Talk, and never stop talking, talking to yourself does not count and people cannot read your mind so do not blame them... people cannot read your mind... people cannot read your mind...

[@TheJodzilla]

This is so helpful. I'm currently agoraphobic. I was an extrovert who performed to crowds in aerial arts in Los Angeles, a city of artists. Now, I struggle to go outside at all, even to check the mail, feed the birds, or anything. I will apply the techniques you shared. Thank you

[@magical571]

i relate a lot with this. it gets hard to pur a foot outside

[@blackpebbles1881]

42:45 really wish my parents asked me these questions seriously instead of mocking me, laughing about it, then yelling at me for being "overdramatic" and "overly sensitive" and telling me to go away. Thanks for all your videos Kati, they've helped a lot! ❤

[@Anniecurls]

that made me feel better. Just today i'm doubting myself bc it's just on my nerves sometimes that I cannot trust people and couldn't talk to them and i feel like they're giving me death treats. I struggled from abuse throughout my childhood and because I grew up being different and isolated, I got bullied throughout my whole life. Now im starting to question, just now, why do i feel this way. And I saw your comment and it made sense

[@Anniecurls]

not rly better, but validated

[@mammamonssterr]

I love the new intros, the little summary with the soft music. So elegant!

[@will_Iam61]

In some ways, like your first question, I feel like I am running with a constant level of fight/flight like anxiety that has become more or less normalized but presents with symptoms of chronic inflammation. I have a therapist and am working on figuring this out, but I am also dealing with a long-term emotionally abusive relationship and due to factors, like my age and how long we have been together, trying to figure out whether I should just end it (admittedly worrying about the fallout from ending it, but wondering if my health might improve enough to make the short-term pain worth it).

[@nancyliawoods]

Thanks so much Kati, I value "our chats" 😅 even when you are talking about topics that I maybe can't relate to too much, somehow I still find alot of value in it and learn something. It gives me alot to think about. We all appreciate you ❤❤❤

[@EvalenaSheets-of7zb]

Kati your podcast has helped me through a lot I really appreciate everything you do keep up the good work ❤

[@Gemma2811]

Thanks Kati you always help me to understand my thoughts better and understand why i struggle with certain experiences from my past

[@billsaunders8869]

Thanks Kati. Really appreciate your responses to identifying the difference between just venting and asking for help from a friend or spouse. Also being more aware of transference when we feel angry talking to someone.

[@eloisemarie5219]

Another great video. Thx Kati. Always so helpful.

[@JonathanBarker-yu3oo]

I have savere trauma cptsd and ocd it's hard when we don't have enough therapist like you. We have allot mean nanny therapy and evil people. I get really mean and have done grotesque mean horrible things to people in manic episodes. Thank you. You talk like an angel.

[@djpatt81]

My Mental health therapist always stuck in 2005 when I had a major breakdown I moved on from there sometimes illnesses changes different symptoms different conditions

[@SK-wc3hs]

Biggest problem when we think about these things we think that i am adhd, ptsd or some other diagnoses even thought we are so much more. Of course when you know that these parts are part of you but it's not like you are just your diagnoses.

[@KisDraga]

Micheal j fox mentioned a quote " genes load the gun. Environment pulls the trigger "

[@jcfreak2007]

My absolute favorite thing to do in the last situation is to turn on or sing the song, "Shake your sillies out!" by Raffi! 😂 It works so well!

[@Beck-rv7xr]

Struggling with daughter with depression, and feeling like I never should have shared that I have struggled with this since I was a teenager. She now wants to get on meds (which I was on for years unfortunately and still struggle to not get back on), and is diving into this even more now, like I gave her the green light by admitting it’s been very real in my life. I don’t want her to go down this road unnecessarily if it’s regular teen struggles.

[@LK-tp2le]

Is therapy an option for your daughter to try before meds? I'd let her know that medication can be an option as a last resort for severe depression but therapy and lifestyle changes should be tried first as meds can't solve everything and there can be side effects.

[@Beck-rv7xr]

@@LK-tp2le agreed-she did just start with someone, hoping this helps in time and she gets this “quick fix” idea out of her head.

[@LK-tp2le]

@@Beck-rv7xr Pleased she's started working with someone. Also, don't know if you've already done this but checking her iron, vit D and B vitamin levels might be an idea as low levels can cause/worsen depression. Wishing you and your daughter the best.

[@JDforeveralone]

Even if you didn’t share it with her she probably would have figured it out. The problem with depression esp high functioning one is, you are “functioning” and doing the chores and all but on an emotional level you’re not there. So our kids suffer from this CEN childhood emotional neglect. I agree with the other commenter on trying therapy plus checking her physical health. But don’t stamp it off as just teenage mood. I did that. As parents one of the most important things we have to be is emotionally grounded and available. There’s lots of videos on the topic. Check out as well Dr Kim Sage. Wishing you and your daughter well!

[@Beck-rv7xr]

@@JDforeveralone thanks so much…it’s so hard to see her struggling the way I did at that age. I also recognize not getting myself emotionally in a good place will affect her all the more. I appreciate the time taken to reply, it’s nice to know we’re not alone.

[@1HeartCell]

Been there, done that

[@ILikeBigCatsAndICannotLie]

Where can we submit questions for the podcast?

[@triciamears7338]

Hey Katie, @ approximately 23:20, when a “contributor” asked- am I just making this up??? I immediately amalgamated it with my own personal experience. Am I making it up??? I know the brain/psyche is a very powerful thing/tool, is it possible that I’m just being a sookyLaLa? If so… it’s very exhausting! I hope I’m not. I want to be free of this pain. Thank you, Tx.

[@Aliyah423]

when i try to “turn off” my anxiety how do i know im not supressing it?

[@KindMeg]

Why is numb not a feeling?

[@lauraburystedmundsyoga8231]

For people with alexithymia I think it's one of the main feelings!!

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

haha - tickle bug

[@ArianeCuba]

I have depreesion and ansiaty and panic attacks... Because o can't see people as good anymore... I Just can ser that even they love have they agendas... And soooo have now because a have a kid..How can i live ok knowing that The bad people that a know are out there can hurt him anytime... In my country ia hard to find psicology help... You have to have money for It... 😢 I don 't know what to do now... I always where The helper one...

[@MrTwinkieeater]

Yeah, narcissistic personalities do this. That's why it's always the other person, never them. In fact it's usually both.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

I'm not so aware about this but may I know whether you have shared any email address to have access to you directly?

[@brioche8123]

“Minimize my symptoms so much I think they’re fine” Wouldn’t that just be denial?

[@MKV7312]

TROUBLES ONLY HAPPEN WHEN THEY HAPPEN TAKE CARE SUPERMAN CO

[@DrAnkitJangid]

Ok

[@user-um9sl1kj6u]

If this is a clue, I haven’t released any videos, nor do I. My name is Michael Skinner, I am a Very private person, and I do not put out details of my life. Ever. I do not live stream, and I’ve never made a KZbin video. Or any video for that matter.

[@user-um9sl1kj6u]

You do not minimize problems you have, Or anyone else for that matter. That’s gaslighting

[@dolorestroeller4734]

I agree. My entire female family gaslights every emotion. It’s not that bad! You have nothing to complain about! you are just a worrier!You gotta suck it up!Don’t be negative.! You’re just extreme!So I guess that’s who I think I am and no matter what I do that’s who I am. I don’t even want to voice an opinion on anything or tell anyone how I feel. Just being quiet and nodding in agreement works best. Yet I hate myself

[@user-um9sl1kj6u]

you need to get away from them. Get away from them and find yourself again.@@dolorestroeller4734

[@dondavidyoung2668]

Hi Kati... I have watched your youtube videos and referred you to many people until I saw the youtube video of you diagnosing an innocent person on camera against their will & knowledge. I no longer promote or watch your videos. My sister was a psychiatrist until she died several years ago. So, I DO have a lot of psyche knowledge. Don't get me wrong. You are a very sweet girl however I can no longer take you seriously. Take Care...

[@SocraticMethodGuy]

Katie, as a man, my life was devasted, without my knowledge at first, by my ex wife engaging fervently, in "parental alienation". Have you done a video of this? It is extraordinarily damaging to both child and noncustodial parent. Anyway, Don't go to any trouble... your work too much. I hope you take a solid 2 weeks off this time :)