5 Signs of Emotionally Manipulative People

Are you being emotionally manipulated by the people in your life? This may be people you love who are applying emotional manipulation or emotional abuse tactics such as your parents or your friends or your husband or wife. Emotional manipulation can show up in many different ways, and we may not always see if we are being emotionally manipulated. There are several signs of emotional manipulation, some more drastic or stark than others. This could manifest or look like toxic parents or narcissist parents or husband or wife or perhaps emotionally immature friends. This emotional manipulation may have also been childhood emotional neglect; I talk more about childhood emotional neglect in the videos below. Here are the 5 signs of emotionally manipulative people; signs to look out for if you think you are being emotionally manipulated or emotionally abused by someone in your life.
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[@pam8962]

I grew up with parents who taught me to put everyone else first. It was my job to please other people

[@thesaddestpikachu]

A lot of super religious households teach that, especially if you're a woman

[@abriannacobarris]

I feel like god put me on earth to only do one thing and that’s to cater to other peoples needs

[@ThumbnailGrail]

#2 is so relatable. You feel like the bad guy because they're the one's crying. Craziest part is when I remain strong and carefully select my words to be as communicative as possible without being filled with excess hurt words, they say that you're the one playing victim. Sometimes sorting things out feels like an impossibility, so videos like this can be comforting. Thanks!

[@Bingewatchingmediacontent]

My Mom too.

[@chilanjimhone1354]

So true 🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🥺🥺🥺 and you wonder if it ever ends

[@ThumbnailGrail]

@@chilanjimhone1354 In my experience it won't unless you let it. To me, it feels like I've lost a part of my relationship with this person. The emotionally intelligent side of me kind of knows how to steer clear, and unfortunately it means leaving part of who I am behind at the door when I'm around them. To me it's worth it because some peace is better than seemingly none.

[@chilanjimhone1354]

@@ThumbnailGrail yes I totally agree with that...the constant hurt is what always gets to me 😪😭

[@Sabourok]

I… feel this way with my mother and wife… and it has me worried

[@SirHatchporch]

Yes, please do a video on emotionally manipulative parents. The long term damage they can do can be devastating, and I'm sure a lot of us are still going through that as we age.

[@Mushroom321-]

Hi, happy to help!, kati already has a video on that. 👍😃

[@Gwenx]

Yes, this. My partners mom is VERY emotionally manipulative and rn she is in a depression period wich makes it so mich worse.. My Partner: "hey you could drive by on your way home and just get a quick coffee if you want? We know we have been busy with work, so it would be nice to see you!" His mom: "you could also come visit me? You never visit me anymore, i am always the one having to drive around.." My partner: "mom, you know i would love to, but i when im home from work the clock is already 18, the public transport takes me 1 and a half hour, and it takes us 40 minutes to walk home to you.. You have a car, so if you wanted to you could come by and get dinner with us? Or you could catch me at work, give me ride home and get a coffee and a cola, like we used to?" His mom: "thats way to late, i would be too tired to drive by then, it dosent matter anyways, if it too hard to come see me, talk to you later.." She has a car, we dont. Just a little example on how she will call him in a bad mood, demand something from him/us and then be disappointed when she cant get it as she wants it..

[@kenrickbautista6141]

Videos like these always scares me. I don't really know if I'm the one being manipulative or if I'm being manipulated by others. It's so hard!!! 😣

[@M077Y]

Agreed, I try to think- "Do I want the best for this person? Am I wanting to just listen to them (i.e. not direct them/expect a certain answer)? If a person isn't 'in line' with my thoughts or beliefs, will I exclude/cull them? If things don't go my way, do I make others feel bad for things not going my way or how I expect/ Do I treat them differently/poorly for it?" Just a couple examples, not a professional! Happy to hear others opinions on these!

[@KarnodAldhorn]

So in my opinion: Manipulation means changing something. In zoology manipulation is the ability of a monkey to use a stick. Manipulation is a tool. Without it, we couldn't even ask for help or make boundaries. But Kati, IMPORTANTLY talks about manipulation in a hurtfull way. Imagine a monkey uses a rock to break a coconut. If it shares the milk with someone else it's sharing, If IT Takes the Milk for itself the other monkey can find his own coconut. If He uses the rock to kill the other monkey, the monkey can't do anything anymore. In my example, the rock is manipulation. The killing is Manipulation that serves to eradicate someones reality.

[@KarnodAldhorn]

Tldr: don't worry about being manipulative. Try your best at being a good person. Then manipulation will not corrupt you as easily. And second guessing yourself is manipulating yourself.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

@@M077Y yeah. I felt that.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

@@KarnodAldhorn true. Yeah, you're right.

[@arthurpenfield8229]

Emotionally draining and controlling humans suck because they CHOOSE to be that way and it pisses me off.

[@IshtarNike]

Yep. What made me so fucking mad was how I had endless arguments with my ex trying to get her to understand why I can't compromise everything in my life all the time. She played dumb. Acted as if her actions were totally reasonable. But then once I left and her visa status was in danger suddenly she knew EXACTLY what she'd done wrong. It was actually shocking how articulate and specific she was. Mind you it still took hours of me insisting, by email z that we cannot reconcile if she cannot even tell me what she's done wrong and how she'll change. Once she realised her usual tactics of emotional blackmail and victim playing wouldn't work, she wrote a whole action plan listing her dismissive and exploitative behaviours and how she'd change! It was amazing to me. I could have written it myself. And that's what shocked me because she'd been pretending for years that she didn't understand any of this stuff! From my research she may have a serious mental health issue or personality disorder. But I can't feel sympathy at this stage. She's incredibly dangerous and I really don't see how we're supposed to "hold space" for people like her when the nature of their condition is not only abusive but so covertly and expertly hidden that she will ensnare new victims time and again. I'm legitimately scared for the next guy she suckers in with her fake victim act.

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

Try not to let it get to you. Do the Grey Rock treatment on them. My mother manipulated me , till I wised up and left.

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

Are you still with her? Narcs don't see, or want to see reason Leave. She will ruin you. No kidding

[@susi09]

I really would appreciate a video on reassessing relationships. It’s so easy to get stuck in a dynamic because “we’ve been friends for so many years,” but I recently had to step back from a few people and didn’t realize they weren’t good for me. I’d love a video on signs it’s time to reassess and what criteria to use

[@richardl2767]

Yes please do a video on emotionally manipulative parents.

[@AlleyCatUwU]

I'm a caregiver and this is why I had to split with my last client. Even if people have very real needs, emotional manipulation is toxic.

[@markoembarko9045]

Same!!

[@idied16]

Please do something about emotionally manipulative parents. My dad was the worst a lot of these and I think I see some in my mom as well and am working on overcoming that so I don't continue to let myself fall victim to that in future relationships

[@caleuxx9108]

The Victim role....., blame shifting, etc. --- It seems to me, that this behavior is often from people, who have a lot of CORE SHAME and cannot accept their own imperfections and/or have great difficulty accepting reality in life ..... People who behave like this are usually immature and many times suffered a significant trauma when they were young (maybe neglect).... However it is their responsibility to get take proper actions to try and fix, what is wrong.... (getting therapy).....

[@jennaywar85]

My parents are getting older and are not in good health. They manipulate me on a regular basis- especially my mom. I feel like she knows exactly what she is doing by always playing the victim- the "helpless little old lady". I love them and do feel bad that they seem to have one bad situation after another, and so I've done my best to help as much as I can when I am able. However, I'm not at a point in my life to take care of them, or to drop what I need to do in order to make sure they get their needs met. I'm working, and going back to college, and trying to better myself and my life. This past semester was a particularly tough one for me, and I got guilt tripped to the point that I would regularly have chest pain because I was not able to come to the rescue for them like I normally would. It really sucks once your eyes are opened to what is really going on. I never had a problem with helping them, but now I realize that it's EXPECTED of me, and if I'm not able to help, then I'm made to feel like I'm being neglectful or selfish. My mom doesn't seem to take my situation into account- it's like she only cares about what SHE'S going through. It's just so upsetting to realize that you need to set such strong boundaries with your own parents.

[@bill4632]

My father is the same way. He always diminishes whatever I say or why I feel a certain way. He gaslights and manipulates all the time. He plays the victim when things don't go his way. Especially when I stand up for personal boundaries. He hates when he can't control me or my mother.

[@dabbler1166]

I can relate to this. Can any other siblings also help? Distance away from them helps. God help you if you don't have kids. You'll never be allowed to be "busy" and be expected to have all the time in the world and to be able to drop everything else. Again, physical distance helps.

[@jennaywar85]

@@dabbler1166 I do have other siblings. Unfortunately, they've also seen the patterns of bad situations and manipulation, and they just won't give into it. I live alot closer than them, but once I'm finished with school, I do plan on moving a little further away. I hate that I feel the need to "run away" like I'm still a child, but sometimes, it just feels like too much for me to take. I love them very much, and I just wish they could be more responsible and make better choices😕😕

[@Moon_Fire_Water]

let me guess, then they will call you selfish if you prioritize yourself because they gave you so much that you owe them for your very existence. did I get it right? 😂

[@jennaywar85]

@@Moon_Fire_Water They haven't actually come out and said that, although I'm sure they're THINKING it. In January, right before my classes started, my mom broke her knee. I begged her to get help from other family members, like her sisters, or friends, etc. Or to even hire someone to come in and help. She actually texted me while I was in class, and said "If my own daughter can't help us, then I guess we'll just have to figure it out on our own." Of course, that hurt me, and made me feel super guilty- but it also made me feel mad. I could 100% see that she was making a last ditch effort at manipulating me, even though I had already told her that I was overwhelmed with school, and I didn't have any extra time. I felt like I had a literal weight on my chest for months from the guilt😕😕

[@siennaprice1351]

My stepmom was like this. Guilt tripping, crying for empathy and sympathy, gaslighting, and many other ways. I used to doubt myself because of it. But I think the thing I struggle with is limiting and restricting myself. Emotionally manipulation led me to restricting myself, downplaying my feelings, not liking myself for crying or feeling sensitive. Not allowing myself to do certain things that actually benefit me, but the world frowns upon it. Withholding love and affection from myself when I’m upset, crying or dysregulated. I have overcame self doubt, it’s conditional self love and restricting myself that I have to overcome.

[@radnairenegat]

I'm very happy that you added the "it's not necessarily them" at the endf of the video, and especially the five questions at the end made me interested in codependency a lot more than manipulative parents. I don't have a relationship and currently actively despise men, and I was about to comment "if a man ever approaches you with attention and affection, RUN" but now I'm contemplating that maybe it's because my unresolved traumas from my past relationships that somehow draw me towards more and more of these and refusing to date altogether isn't going to solve this problem...

[@ryannesumbry4130]

I just had to cut someone out of my life who was narcissistic and a emotionally manipulating person

[@rogueerised979]

Always troublesome & painful. But worth it.

[@Katimorton]

I am so sorry you had to go through that. But proud of you for cutting them out of your life. xoxo

[@morebirdsandroses]

Me too! It feels great to have the constant pressure end, a big improvement over the years it took to realize I was better off away from my parents. Keep growing! It is hard, but we're getting there.

[@misterairgap4830]

I agree, but when they are neighbours...

[@ryannesumbry4130]

@@misterairgap4830 or ppl you worship with

[@lashadi1445]

Yes! Please do video on emotionally manipulative parents and/or being around others/family that are emotionally manipulative without realizing it. I think you almost touched on it in the end, with how to tell if you are indeed being manipulated. I find with my mother, and even with open conversation on the topic at times, she doesn't realize some of what she does is in fact guilt tripping for example, or doesnt realize that is harmful. She has already lost (maybe not forever?) a relationship with one daughter, and I really want her to heal more (go back to therapy, not be as co dependent) but being the parentalized child, I want to guide her out of the many negative behaviors from her lofe history of trauma and coping behaviors for her untreated adhd and possibly autism (like me). It's a sticky situation for me, as we are close and I had a history of trauma growing up with her, but she is not as outwardly emotionally abusive as my father. Thanks ❤

[@sd.kfz.2224]

Welp. Both good and bad news for me. Good news: I've really dodged quite a few bullets by now. Bad news: I used to exhibit some of these traits, up until I realized that I reaaaally screwed up more than a couple times, started thinking about how I could behave in another way to not cause any pain or harm. Still thinking. Some months in therapy by now. But videos like this one do help between sessions and well complement the meds I've been prescribed. Thank you, sincerely, for content like this. It does help people.

[@BriannaHodgesWork]

I have an emotionally manipulative parent. Every time I bring up a problem involving myself or my parent, I end up being laughed at, told I am taking things too seriously, and my feelings are trivialized. I would love to see a video delving into emotionally manipulative parents to better understand my situation.

[@nonny6990]

Are toxic people, fake friends, energy vampires all psychologically damaged? It certainly helps to understand their behaviour when you think of them as unhealthy people who desperately need therapy. Unfortunately, it seems they're never the ones who get the therapy is it?

[@mangantasy289]

I was emotionally manipulated during my whole childhood, mostly by my mother. My maternal grandmother also is a real queen when it comes to that behaviour, so I guess I know where my mom learned it from. I've had all of the 5 tactics you explain in this video from young age on and from more than one family member (my mother holding the highest score) Took me years of therapy as a (very messed up) adult to 1. realize and 2. dare to speak it out Left me with a lot of insecurity about my own thoughts and feelings. Very hard to work on as it roots so deep. (Also side note: I love your blouse)

[@KatelynIngle]

The gaslighting in my marriage I lost myself and I fear my own thoughts

[@Moon_Fire_Water]

Kati is such a great teacher and speaker ! love how she sets up her talks and videos. easy to follow along with

[@TheOrignalTRockz]

Please do a video about emotionally manipulative parents. Great videos!

[@captainnemo190]

Yes, to one on manipulative parents please.

[@Pazuzu82]

My mum can be very manipulative and be a narcissist and she uses it against my situations and needs at times, honestly sometimes I just want to go in there and say it to her face!

[@tracy8836]

My Mother is a master at all of these types of manipulation...and I think she has invented some new ones!

[@sweet_b9]

How do we stand up to emotionally manipulative people? I find myself shutting down and/or trying my best to ignore them. I do not feel comfortable expressing my discomfort with them

[@avikchatterjee1945]

Fantastic video kattie girlie. Thanks a lot

[@80sHeavymetalchick9]

I was diagnosed abt ten years ago as a borderline personality by a therapist my husband soon to be ex sent me to. She said at the time that is was a hard one to diagnose. Since then I've been trying to fig out who I am and I do know that I have poor boundaries and def a people pleaser. Oldest sibling and oldest out of all my cousins . family attitude of pick yourself up by your bootstraps types. I've made poor choices def after my divorce.. I was married a long time.. Close to 25 years. I don't even feel like I know who I am or if I'm a narcissistic personality too. I do feel that many do not understand the physical and mental stress I am under. Left a abusive relationship abt 3 months ago. Called crazy..weirdo..mean.. Etc. I fig it was a trauma bond as he was a widower but Jekyll and Hyde when he drank. I was so embarrassed that I let myself be in that kinda situation. Sexual abuse at a young age twice. I honestly don't know what to do besides just be alone. I do have medical issues on top of all that but hard to find care as I'm considered indigent. So many hoops to jump thru to even prove this. Alot more but thos is already long. Thank you for all you do.. I've watched but never commented.

[@alagorical8001]

Thankyou for making this video xxx

[@SY-tn2io]

Yes please, for the emotionally manipulative parents video. & thank you for this video!

[@ThomasWayne-hy1sf]

...this is how my parents treated me... I think this is how I treat the people I say I love

[@Jenoveryonder]

Love your top!!

[@paigemalloy4276]

I appreciate this video, thank you ❤️ It most definitely makes me feel better about myself, but _holy sh*t_ it was jarring to realize how much my grandmother fit into these. I always knew she was manipulative, but damn I didn't realize she hit every single mark. . .

[@mari23_13]

I would love a video about emotionally manipulative parents! It's been a while since I started doubting my parents are manipulative, so this would be very helpful

[@YasminaReality]

Two people in my life that do this. They do it like really bad where I realized they massively need professional help. They target me specifically over other people, even though they do it to other people. They do it extra to me. Even though I love these individuals, I literally cannot be around them because I'm a punching bag. It's fascinating that they use identical tactics against me even though they are not individuals that see each other. They are very good at finding your weak / vulnerable spot. And twisting things to hurt you like a dagger when I didn't do anything to them. My only sin is living my best life. And that is what they attack. Sadly, i've had to keep them at arm's length. It's best that way. And for 1 of them, they are going to get an earfull from me because they have literally been abusive to me and i'm definitely done. I realize they have tons of childhood trauma, but they need to go take care of that and not abuse me. I really feel like people earn a right in your life every day. And vice versa. I will not be abused, too old for this. What are your suggestions in dealing with true manipulators who are deeply ingrained in our family and friend lives?

[@Bat_Boy]

Damn, you sound like me. My advice...pull away SLOWLY, and TRY to NEVER get too close. As the Stoics say: "Don't complain. Don't explain". You are wasting your time with them. They are not listening.

[@BrianSmith-lo3mj]

@@Bat_Boy ^THIS^ 💯%

[@catdobson2311]

Cut off your time from them, don't even tell them why or that you're doing it. They deserve to be ignored if that's what they did to you.

[@BrianSmith-lo3mj]

@@catdobson2311 Just out of curiosity ... Isn't ignoring them also called "Grey Rocking"?

[@catdobson2311]

@@BrianSmith-lo3mj I'm not sure, but it's the only way to start healing and have peace in your life. Most manipulative people will never own up to it or give you closure or apology, so you're better to just go. Or severely limit your time with them on your terms if absolutely necessary

[@mariyakrutkova6294]

Kati thank you for your super helpful videos! I would love a video on emotionally manipulative parents (currently working on setting boundaries with a borderline/alcoholic mom who is extremely manipulative)

[@luvqraft6024]

I hesitate to discuss my disability, because I’ve gotten “you’re acting like a victim” when I do.

[@mekman4]

Thank you!

[@johnrainsman6650]

Apparently. _"I wasn't trying to 'give it to you'. I was trying to help you be successful."_ Manager at my job who lectuerd me.

[@DarthJarJar10]

This video helped to confirm that my parents and siblings were exceptionally emotionally manipulative and abusive. And that I've been a people-pleaser from a young age... 4 or 5 years old... And as soon as I started asserting boundaries, they were interpreted negatively and I was pushed beyond the edge. Would definitely appreciate the video on emotionally abusive parents. Include siblings too where you can, please. I think that is the bit that is hardest with this topic. I didn't choose to be this way. This was the family I was born into and in other parts of life, I feel more empowered.

[@CelticSongbird9642]

Hello Kati! This video really resonates with me. The problem is, well...the emotionally manipulative person I'm thinking of lives in the same house as me. Could you please make a video of what to do if the emotionally manipulative person lives under the same roof as you? I can't be the only one dealing with this!

[@Mushroom321-]

Topics like these NEED to be taught in school!, 🙄 elementary - Highschool ! GO KATI!!! 👏🏼👏🏼 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@fraxtheowl7132]

Please do the video on emotionally manipulative parents. Also, this was a vey good video.

[@mikesmith6594]

Deal with this often Kate I am pretty sure I'm dealing with emotionally manipulative people or narcissist .Plus I get gaslit alot in my life ! Can't even have my own life because of these kinda people .

[@eo4zoa]

It’s like you are describing my MIL and SIL. So glad I cut them out of my life and maintain less than bare minimum contact only if it’s absolutely needed. I wish I knew about this topic 10 years ago but I’m glad I do now, and I’m 10 years wiser. Thank you for making this video.

[@TalalAl-Zalami]

Thank you Kati I think it could be also a strategy that anyone may use to achieve a number of psychological goals

[@GloriaEnglish-vo5fc]

Yes! I would love to hear more about emotionally manipulating parents… my mom was very abusive and all 3 of my husbands have been as well so I am very interested in hearing more about that as I am Finding out as I progress in my healing that I do have co-dependent ways… my 3rd marriage is very damaged and about to end because of his addictions to porn and his cheating but makes me feel bad because he has no one both his parents are now passed (Sept 2020 the July 2021) and so I feel bad of if I left him because he has no one and we never had children together and he don’t have any on his own so I feel his life would be nothing and so as I’m on this journey to heal I would love to hear how my mom plays a role in this and how I can fix it so I can hold to boundaries or at last break free from this marriage and heal before stepping into a new relationship with someone else

[@TheAlixour]

Confession: I feel like I've given *too* much of myself before it makes sense to others. It's not on purpose or meant to manipulate but I think others might hesitate to engage because of it.

[@somuch4allrightsreserved]

thanks katie yeah do one on emotionally manipulative parents

[@melissagamboa2770]

Yes please do on the guilt tripping parents, it took me being 52 & helping my mother as a caregiver to see how manipulative, playing the victim etc, role she plays. I could use some insight on how to deal with this type of behavior.

[@mindonthespirit1543]

When you notice these tactics and wish to end the relationship but they ask why so you exlain and they say, "I don't do that. You have the wrong image of me in your head." 🤔

[@justtep7092]

Yes yes do one about the parents!!!!!!!!!

[@ew4645]

Nothing is straightforward is it, many of my family members use emotional manipulation tactics but so do I. It has really upset some of my friends over the years and I hope I learn to change these behaviours :/

[@erinscow6336]

Yes! Emotionally manipulative parents. What about the difference between verbal mental and emotional abuse or are they all sort of the same. Also parent alienation in divorced families.

[@jo_magpie]

Speaking about manipulating. What's up with the kind of people obsessed with "exposing" and labeling everyone in their life sociopath and psychopaths. They all seem very similar.

[@nixash52]

As a writer I love how I get double the info from these videos

[@jennifercosta7973]

Please make a video on manipulative bosses! Mine checks all the boxes

[@Sabourok]

Please please pleeeeeeease do manipulative parents. I am 99.9% certain that my mom effed me up and honestly, your videos have been validating and helping me to feel a bit more empowered

[@s-hb6zk]

Im not sure what this would be called, but what is it when you want to engage in emotionally manipulative behaviour to get what you want, but because you know the social consequences of being labelled a manipulator, you choose not to use more obvious manipulation tactics i.e. overt gaslighting? Or does it just not have a label? Thank you Kati

[@Katimorton]

I don't know if it would really have a label.. what we called it would have more to do with what it was you wanted to do (ie. gaslight) and what your goal of it was (like if you were doing it because you didn't want them to leave). xoxo

[@s-hb6zk]

@@Katimorton thank you Kati, that's very helpful. I assume it would just be classed more as calculating behaviour?

[@silentshadow2957]

Hey, do you have a video on emotional abuse? The signs of emotional manipulation makes me wonder how closely connected abuse and manipulation are. It would seem I grew up with a parent that was both emotionally abusive and manipulative. Thanks!

[@CB19087]

My landlady initiates conversations with me and never let me finish a sentence. She either walks away or interrupts me. I used to give her the benefit of the doubt, now I just think she's manipulative. She does the fake offended thing if we appear to connect in any way. I just try to avoid her now or catch myself before I fall for the trap

[@Mushroom321-]

Do you have a video on "go to" phrases for when people do the mainipulative tactics?

[@moria1805]

Now I dont know if I was manipulated or it was me… but at least I know its over

[@avikchatterjee1945]

Kat Mort the best. Right now reading a book on Microfascism. Goes well with yer vids.avik.

[@lw8882]

The questions to ask yourself are important. Some I found are evidence of codependence, and others actually solidified the manipulation.

[@relaxstation4224]

How to deal with them? Especially family members

[@Maxi2010zz]

This sums my mum up perfectly. Do you know why people act this way? Is it a trauma response? I often wonder if my mum is taking out her past trauma on me. Either that or she is just a bad person and I have to accept that which is almost harder

[@lisariordan2784]

Doing something on emotionally manipulative parents would be great. When my mother picked me up from high school she would ask me what do you want to do. After responding she would ask if I was sure. She asked until I didn’t know what I wanted. And we ended up doing what she wanted. I went to a 5 day boarding school. This interaction repeated itself throughout 4 years of HS.

[@rockyfortune3537]

I relate to this. My problem I have is when I attempt to explain my feelings I dont do a great job at it and feel like Im on trial with my partner.

[@annamartinez6622]

I experienced this

[@dabbler1166]

Wow! What happened? (in a GOOD way). In this video, Kati's whole Tone and mannerisms are more: 1.Calm 2. More leadership-like, less (?) casual/"talking-to-teenagers", (even though a little casualness is more relatable, to a point). 3. Less background stuff/more immediate focus (that was refreshing). 4. Good pacing and speed and eye-contact w/camera. Clear audio level., too. (use this video as a "model"). 😊 Very Nice! A question, related to the video: What would you do, or say, if: the manipulator accuses YOU of having "Pathological Demand Disorder" if you say no?

[@hodgeh]

Please do emotionally manipulative parents content and how to tell if that is what is happening.

[@kellywidemire8574]

Hey Katie idk if you are going to see this but I kinda relate to number 5, but have a question. Is it still love bombing if the person is a caretaker. I live in a group home and sometimes when I express my concern to the individuals taking care of me the do things like buy me gifts. Idk if they feel bad and are trying to be nice or if it's manipulation. I sometimes think they think as long as they give me gifts, I'll stop complaining about the things they do.

[@WaysToHeal]

contents related to possessive partners, friends, or parents please?

[@DBENTLEY369ig]

I know i shouldn't judge so harshly of my self

[@avikchatterjee1945]

Chester Bennington gives me goosebumps. He kept it all inside him. Love that guy for ever.

[@Lala-lp1uy]

I started feeling invalidated and belittled by an aunt. She would rage and have outbursts and make up what I did to set her off. She would say terrible stuff and even lie to provoke a reaction. If I didn’t give the reaction she wanted she would rage and score keep. She played the victim by lying but would accuse me of it over genuine situations even if I didn’t mention them. If I caught her in a lie she would bring up the abuse and accuse me of lying. I went no contact.

[@Lemonlemon710]

Could you do a video on emotionally manipulative close platonic female friends? I have had issues with this for years and years with female friends controlling my values, interests, and dating preferences to suit their own needs! There are often also large gaps in political and cultural beliefs in most of my friendships and most of my friends over the last ten years have responded to these differences by screaming at me to change my opinion because my ancestors are white and oppressors and my cultural viewpoint is therefore objectively "wrong" and any argument or nuance is guilt tripped deflected or somehow gaslit and blown straight out of the water as my point of view does not matter, ever.

[@alphadog3384]

Thank for doing this list..how would you define gossiping within this list. The reason l ask this because of someone from the past relationships refuses therapy but wanted a friendship, but blamed me for calling out the gossip. Later l was told they were the victim out of the relationship?

[@KatelynIngle]

Yep 15 years worth with my husband

[@DougDeYoung-gt4id]

Yes I'm being manipulated by political parties, government agencies, religious organizations and financial institutions. That is why I I'm sitting it out in spiritual protest.

[@KarnodAldhorn]

Just Had a call with my mum Yesterday. I Made some mistakes before. I admit that. But what she did wrong, she Said, didn't happen, I don't remember, might have happened, doesn't matter. She accused me, in the rage I Had expressed towards her beforehand (i. e. my mistakes) of twisting reality and that they (my family) could only see it as Wahn (german word meaning something in vetween Aggression and insanity.

[@katielangsner495]

What about when people have inflexible meta-narratives about life or other people? Things like "everyone is born heterosexual" or "this group is the enemy"? Such people may be honest about what they believe, but they may also gaslight and manipulate others to deny that life or people can be any other way. Even if people make exceptions for people they have seen they often lump unmet people into rigid, unrealistic categories. It's mind-bending and confusing! Even if I can remember what I believe while interacting with such people, I'm still functionally part of their world, not a person in my own right, because we're stuck working in their absolute limits.

[@flexjay87]

This type of thing is fascinating because i can rarely figure out the ratio in such situations, in regards to who is doing what to others, and how much i am at fault.

[@elizabethjoiner]

I feel constantly manipulated and mistreated. It was the way I was raised and then I would be mistreated if they knew. It was this game where the older sibling had to win against me and turn everyone on me. I didn't like it. I keep trying to regain my autonomy and cut her off.

[@user-bt5rl3rh3b]

Can you please do a video on emotionally manipulative adult children? I have a daughter who cut off all communication with me two years ago

[@Bingewatchingmediacontent]

The question if like to know is how do I stop being emotionally manipulative? I know I learned it from my Mom, just like all of my older siblings did. But I still find it so gross and strongly dislike when I behave this way. Because it’s so icky and not a good way to live.

[@d.j.mcbail]

If I know that my mother is emotionally manipulative, what about seeing traits in my siblings? After a severe car accident I have become dependent on my mom and am trying to find a way out.

[@Iambangchanslaptop]

Hi, idk if anyone will answer in time and this has nothing to do with the video, but I’m in middle school and I am on the verge of being done with life and I’m so depressed and my anxiety is horrible and I hate everything about life and I just need help but I don’t want to tell my mom because we are already tight on money and I don’t want to stress her out and I’m honestly just scared to tell her, so my question is that I’m thinking about telling one of my teachers tomorrow that I’m not doing good and that if there is anything one that could help me and school or smth pls tell me, is that a good idea or no? Pls tell me quick because tomorrow is the last day of school and I don’t think I’m going to be okay in the summer if I don’t get help, pls give me any tips or tell me if this is a good idea.

[@berniculus]

I feel manipulated by Kati's blue eyes to watch these videos.

[@Saritabanana]

Every time I spend time with my sister I feel sick afterwards

[@xcoachkim]

Sadly this is my MIL, she encompasses so many of these behaviours. Very controlling codependent and enmeshed with her children.

[@user-um9sl1kj6u]

Be careful cyber criminals that will manipulate what you see if say someone is on there saddest moments (like worrying about their mother on her last days) vs how they sound when they’re laughing with friends. Some people can sound very similar because they can’t hold back emotion. That’s why people cry and you don’t post people on the Internet when they are crying. That’s just wrong and emotionally manipulative to whoever’s watching.

[@leep6279]

I grew up with a emotionally manipulative mother. Every relationship I’ve had is like iam dating my mother. Xooxoxox Thankyou

[@elin_]

So what if oneself is more manipulative than what we want to be.. How to stop or drastically decrease it?

[@tamastokos1583]

Big yes for Q1 and Q2... But I'm an HSP and INFJ, so it goes with the job...:D Actually I'm trying to not be their superhero.

[@shockingheaven]

It really feels like crap to be dismissed, to have all these "jokes" and when you speak up, they say they were only joking, that you are oversensitive and so difficult to deal with. And of course, the gifts and the big gestures to make up for it come afterwards. They make me feel so digested with myself, like they're buying my silence for a bit and I must accept them or else I'll be told I'm so selfish and ungrateful I can't see all the effort they're making by "apologizing" like that.

[@richardmeyer1837]

5:03 Yes

[@IshtarNike]

I hate saying this because of the annoying people who have co-opted it. But always trust your gut when it comes to this stuff. Luke yes you can give someone a second chance. But when you're in a relationship and you constantly feel like something's not right. When yoy have arguments and you're the one who's always compromising qnd apologising despite the fact that your were the person initially hurt. Thats a queue to take several steps back and consider if you might be being manipulated. Healthy relationships are never so one sided.

[@philipmillard3178]

I don't agree with your Gaslighting example, although it seems to be a well held idea of what gaslighting is. Gaslighting as you first set out is manipulation, intended manipulation, a tactic to mess with someones head. It's someone who is pathological in some way who uses gaslighting techniques. The example you use is more someone who is just ultra defensive, who in lacking is self awareness, who can't admit when they have messed up and therefore can not apologise or see things from another's perspective. It's important to understand that pretty much every social interaction is viewed and interpreted differently by those involved. Ask two people who lived the same experience what they remember of it and you are likely to get different responses. Gaslighters set out to manipulate from the start and not as a means of defence.