Is This Burnout or Depression?

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses why we can overly attach to teachers, how to know if our burnout is turning into depression, and how to get through trauma processing without using unhealthy coping skills. Kati then explains why we can sometimes want to keep our eating disorders, why OCD squashes our insight, and how to sleep when struggling with PTSD.
Ask Kati Anything- your mental health podcast, episode 193
1. I think I overly-attach to my teachers who also happen to be my research advisors. I really wish they could be my moms, I constantly seek their validation and approval. I want to make them feel proud of me. You get the idea. How can I become more aware of this? How can I stop trying to fill my parents' void by pushing other people into it?
2. How do I know if what I'm feeling is more related to burnout or is entering into the realm of depression? I am not necessarily sad all the time but am at a point where I am just down and don't really have any interest in doing things anymore because I feel I have no energy or motivation, which I know sounds a lot like depression...
3. I just started reprocessing trauma with my wonderful therapist. My problem is that with just one session of this, I have become unraveled. My emotions are so intense that I am wanting to cope in unhealthy ways such as cutting which I haven't done in a long time and having suicidal thought of which I have attempted before and am angry that I lived...
4. My question is what if I want to keep my eating disorder? What if the pros to keep it far more than the pros to lose it. It helps with my c-ptsd symptoms and even though I do not, not, not see it it keeps me small. Like being underweight gets me closer to being invisible, it helps me hide, I can hide in more places, and it’s comforting(??)...
5. My question is about OCD and insight. I have a diagnosis of OCD but sometimes I don’t actually think I have it at all. There are rooms in my house that I cannot use because they are contaminated and I can’t get them to be uncontaminated no matter how hard I try. The person that lived here before me was a heavy smoker and the place was coated in nicotine to the point that it was ingrained in all the woodwork and silicone round windows etc...
6. I can’t sleep. I don’t want to close my eyes. I have panic attacks if I am woken during the night. I can’t stop and relax at all and I find myself doom scrolling social media until I am absolutely exhausted. I know I shouldn’t be on my phone before going to sleep. When I was a little girl my bedroom was not safe. I don’t feel safe. I feel like I’m trying desperately to avoid having to stop. Keeping busy gives my mind something else to focus on. I’ve tried melatonin but that just makes me feel awful and like I’m hungover the next day. It doesn’t help sleep anyway. I’ve tried changing my room around to make it different and I have a night light so when I awake through the night I can quickly identify my surroundings. I feel so embarrassed that I have to have a night light in my 40s. Do you have any suggestions to help with sleep when it doesn’t feel safe?
JOINING MY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS www.youtube.com/@Katimorton/m...
MERCHANDISE spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt....
MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: betterhelp.com/kati
PATREON www.katimorton.com/kati-morto...
SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE
Instacart: www.instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB
Amazon: www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton
PARTNERSHIP
Linnea Toney [e-mail]
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[@Lemonady]

Timestamps! Q1 - 1:08 Q2 - 11:08 Q3 - 18:30 Q4 - 22:14 Q5 - 28:23 Q6 - 35:52

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

How to ask Kati something? Is it the normal KZbin comment section?

[@RJones-tn5vg]

Thank you!

[@Lemonady]

@@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988 No, you have to post in the community tab of this channel. Kati will make a post every week to post your questions and those that have more thumbs up get featured in the video.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

@@Lemonady To the latest post on that section no? Okay, thanks a lot!

[@Lemonady]

@@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988 Yes, you're welcome!

[@clinch2010duce]

I always feel overwhelmed by daily tasks and I have lost all possession that "normal" people care about and I have lost contact with friends and I'm verbally abusive to my family. My heart hearts.

[@mottwoman6775]

This spoke to me a lot. A lot of healthcare workers, including myself, over the past couple of years have suffered severe burnout. The struggle has been real. I became a raving insomniac, would dream about certain patients at night. I became moody and quick to anger. Would munch on junk food when I felt stressed and packed on a ton of weight. I am just now starting to feel mostly normal again. Taking care of myself…trying to. I think healthcare workers also are poor at self care…. I enjoyed this video a lot. I don’t enjoy my job anymore. I love my work…not the job. After 25 years, what does one do? It’s hard.

[@shaniquejoe5108]

I needed this question answered asap this is perfect timing. Im not sure if im depressed or burnt out

[@miukumauku14]

Same here.. :/

[@Bat_Boy]

The challenge and the effort (pain, suffering, sacrifice) is more important than the outcome (success or failure). The trick is learning to love the process, even the painful part. To me, burn out means a person is second guessing why they are doing the process, not so much that the outcome is unfulfilling. The challenge requires to answer two questions: 1) who are you? 2) What do you want? Perhaps these are being reconsidered. Or, perhaps the pain has become more than anticipated, and that thought is being considered. These are reasonable thoughts to have, so you can reevaluate your life. Just know, you have to fully accept the process, and TRY to enjoy it.

[@francesb7515]

Fellow teachers? The hours never end.

[@GodiscomingBhappy]

I wish i had a friend/family/boss or neighbour like this therapist..... wisdom and great energy. thank you for all this info.

[@StephanieDefinitely]

I just wish I had a therapist like this therapist. 😂

[@arthurpenfield8229]

My burnout is what made me depressed. Life is hard. Especially when your depressed.

[@StephanieDefinitely]

Exactly. I’m so depressed that I can’t get out of cycles of burnout. I think it’s all about my ADHD/autism/PTSD… I’ve been seeking help this year (therapist and psychiatrist) but it doesn’t feel like it is really making a difference… and the antidepressants they give me don’t feel helpful. They either don’t seem to be doing anything, or I feel sedated and sluggish, or edgy and ragey… it’s frustrating.

[@cristinafrick9773]

Sending thoughts and prayers!

[@cristinafrick9773]

Sending thoughts and prayers!

[@triciasullivan3136]

Same. And when I took time off because I was completely useless, the burn out, and the depression just blew up. Obviously I needed to go through it, six months later I maybe see a light! 🤞♥️

[@giuseppeLizzi-rj3er]

I was quite happier in some sense growing up but now I don’t feel the same as I used too

[@barn_ninny]

It's astonishing to me that a person -- trained therapist or not -- can be this compassionate, understanding, and intelligently supportive of so many people, week after week after week for years. Who are you and where can I find more like you?

[@harrymetalhead3776]

I play music that has no words at night. Like new age or smooth jazz. I found that anything with singing tends to activate the mind.

[@harrymetalhead3776]

I am burned out and depressed, but I know I need to sleep at night to be able to handle the rest.

[@antonellahuron496]

Very interesting. I'm going through breast cancer right now and I've always felt depressed, and I realized it was emotional burn out that went untreated for many, many years. I'm now forced to stop, so that I can 'be with myself and be ok'.

[@slr4092]

I like the half most thumbs up and half random. I feel like it gives everyone a chance for their question to be read.

[@EvalenaSheets-of7zb]

My favorite podcast low-key needed this today thank you for all you do kati❤ keep up the good work

[@MichelleMBA]

I am so grateful for this. Thank you so much Kati

[@rubysutton8960]

You make me feel so safe and understood. This video really helped me find the answers, so thank you ❤

[@eloisemarie5219]

Thank you Kati. So helpful

[@thomasmelnick9140]

That is what I needed 2 years ago.

[@Anonymous-vy2om]

I like having more random questions! Not every question has to be applicable to a lot of people. I find the more unique questions to be more interesting.

[@Pretzel88Gamer]

Thanks

[@user-zo8rd7oh5s]

Thank you Katie very insightful helpful tools & resources. great tips for your family clients.

[@WadeLife]

I gave mine a voice a month or so ago. Something's got better, but some got worse or all new triggers/effects undiagnosed. I just got a primary Dr, so hopefully, soon, I can get a referral and get everything corrected some what.

[@CShlaes]

Great episode - thank you! I'm not sure how to officially ask a question about childhood emotional neglect, for AKA so I'll put it here. I have almost no memories from childhood and I was in my 50s before I figured out that my mother was a narcissist. I don't think I was unhappy as a kid because I was just busy (and successful) at keeping my mother fairly happy with good grades, good behavior, etc. Now I can't seem to find an inner child at all to try to work through my trauma and my lack of ability to attach to people as an adult. Can I even do inner child work without any childhood memories?

[@aam6545]

@CShlaes On Sundays, she posts a request for questions in the community tab of her channel. The request used to be posted on her other channel, but it should show up on the community tab for this channel this Sunday afternoon.

[@CShlaes]

@@aam6545 Thank you very much. I will try to post it there on Sunday.

[@tellmeatruecrimestory]

I wish you were my friend and neighbor. I’m glad I found you on KZbin.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Hello Kati! As always it's a good video! Could you please make videos on, 1. Why does someone always worry about not having friends but don't want friends as he's scared and what to do?(In my case, I often don't feel like going out, I often take part in online classes, I'm not helpful to others and I think that I deserve to have no friends because of it. 2. Liminal Spaces and relevant psychology - What causes me to like strange horror based places and hate childhood places which bring anxiety, evening being so harsh + Why I feel very unpleasant with music such as Cocktail Hour. 3. Dependent Personality Disorder vs Separation Anxiety Disorder vs OCD 4. Difference between Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Delusional Disorder, Schizophrenia(maybe) with no hallucinations. I'm not quite sure whether I'm misdiagnosed. 5.Borderline Personality Disorder vs Schizophrenia at paranoia and clear differences between both 6. Sadistic Personality Disorder vs Obsessed with horror - This seriously matters me because I saw a lot of gory, abandoning, losing and other kinds of nightmares which caused me to hurt so much and later on, I watched such media to normalize them, started loving them and now I'm being rejected by society because of it. Not because I've said I watch so, but they got to know that I watch them. Although, I get really angry with cult groups which violate the independence and rights of other humans(Ex:- Afghanistan, North Korea) but I've been identified as someone who's strange. Also please help me to understand what to do. 7. Anxiety of whether I would not be able to treat parents when they're old causes and green flags. 7. I've been bullied for a long period of time in school and by then my self esteem dropped to a very low level (also I was experiencing religious criticism by commemorating bible verses, listening to speeches, talking to god-psychosis) and now, I don't get memories of it but I doubt whether I still have effects of it. I couldn't highlight this to the doctor that I consulted and I want you to explain what I might feel subconsciously and what I should say next time.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Also, how to know whether someone has understood the symptoms of schizophrenia or any other delusion based disorder, identified our weak points and currently is attacking? If so, what should we follow in order to be safe.

[@Bat_Boy]

Great video.

[@Katimorton]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@viennadesou6546]

Is it OCD or sensory sensitivity? I'm autistic and there are some sensory experiences that my brain will just reject no matter what. That cigarette smoke could be something they're having a sensory response to.

[@bluegypsydoll]

You said the word “contaminated” and my mouth dropped. Thats the word i use! Lots of contamination!!!! Yes! I wont be specific but this vid was informative I enjoyed this video thank you

[@CoffeeVvv]

I suddenly recalled something about the first question, just some random rambling: besides the childhood emotional neglect thing, it sometimes felt like getting attention from family was not (interesting?) enough, because they are somehow obligated to be responsible for their children. But for teachers, there are always a lot of students, they are not required to care about everyone, sometimes if I like a teacher it seems more interesting to get more than average attention from someone who’s not obligated to give? Eww, interesting might not be the correct word, I don’t really know how to describe it hhhhhh. I liked a teacher in junior high school and fancied about getting more connection to her, deliberately ran into her many times in the hallway after we no more had that class anymore, and after 8 years out of that school I feel the same every time I think about her. And don’t really want that feeling to end? Sometimes it feels like better have someone to like than not at all.

[@horseforce1044]

the depression vs. burnout question starts at around 28:00

[@alberthagi1310]

I don't know what I'm going through but I know I just get tired of making up for all the slack at my job caused by others calling out and it seems like I'm bringing it home too much that I feel like I don't matter at home

[@nancyliawoods]

Kati, everytime you say "Full body shake" in your videos-I do a full body shake 😂 everytime you say it im like oh yea that would helpful! Anyone else? Just me? Ook then Thanks Kati, we all value your content so much ❤😊

[@beckysorg9406]

Its not just you. I do it too. Now if I could just remember to do it any other time that I need to...

[@nancyliawoods]

@beckysorg9406 it really does help and same, I need to remember to do it when I'm struggling

[@MichelleMBA]

Me too

[@JGnLAU8OAWF6]

Hey, i think you forgot to change video description it is almost the same as in ep.192

[@Katimorton]

Good catch! Thanks. Looks like we had our description text files incorrectly labeled.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Could you please answer the following in next live stream? Or in a video? 1. Why does someone always worry about not having friends but don't want friends as he's scared and what to do?(In my case, I often don't feel like going out, I often take part in online classes, I'm not helpful to others and I think that I deserve to have no friends because of it. 2. Liminal Spaces and relevant psychology - What causes me to like strange horror based places and hate childhood places which bring anxiety, evening being so harsh + Why I feel very unpleasant with music such as Cocktail Hour. 3. Dependent Personality Disorder vs Separation Anxiety Disorder vs OCD 4. Difference between Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Delusional Disorder, Schizophrenia(maybe) with no hallucinations. I'm not quite sure whether I'm misdiagnosed. 5.Borderline Personality Disorder vs Schizophrenia at paranoia and clear differences between both 6. Sadistic Personality Disorder vs Obsessed with horror - This seriously matters me because I saw a lot of gory, abandoning, losing and other kinds of nightmares which caused me to hurt so much and later on, I watched such media to normalize them, started loving them and now I'm being rejected by society because of it. Not because I've said I watch so, but they got to know that I watch them. Although, I get really angry with cult groups which violate the independence and rights of other humans(Ex:- Afghanistan, North Korea) but I've been identified as someone who's strange. Also please help me to understand what to do. 7. Anxiety of whether I would not be able to treat parents when they're old causes and green flags. 7. I've been bullied for a long period of time in school and by then my self esteem dropped to a very low level (also I was experiencing religious criticism by commemorating bible verses, listening to speeches, talking to god-psychosis) and now, I don't get memories of it but I doubt whether I still have effects of it. I couldn't highlight this to the doctor that I consulted and I want you to explain what I might feel subconsciously and what I should say next time.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Also, how to know whether someone has understood the symptoms of schizophrenia or any other delusion based disorder, identified our weak points and currently is attacking? If so, what should we follow in order to be safe.

[@REZZA2020]

Hi Kati

[@EleonoraStein]

Hi, L- teaniini can help, but it can also make nightmares really more intense. Not for all, but for some. I am in vivid nightmare group and it is avaruuteen beyond words.

[@deezlife]

Turning 52 tomorrow and everyone around me seems to be more excited about my birthday than me. I am just worried how to make it through the day without a panic attack.

[@lindseyreyes6246]

The OCD question makes me think on my past experiences which (in hindsight, but unknown at the time) were due to allergies/asthma. There are certain visual cues that make me feel like I'm suffocating, and I wonder if it has to do with respiratory distress that I didn't burden my parents (or anyone else) with (because my mom always dismissed my remarks and said I was fine). I'm now in my mid-30's and my husband was the one who pushed me to get an inhaler and is now pushing me to do allergy testing. It's a very slow, tentative process of believing that my baseline isn't necessarily healthy, and I deserve to function better. I wonder if the person who asked this question has any respiratory problems and/or trauma related to smoke.

[@1minutecomicswalahollywood648]

Hello Kati, It is a nice channel. 1. Would you like to share some stories or experiences those are interesting and useful? 2. How old are you? 3. Which one is your favorite dish? 4. What do you think about religion? 5.Do you prescribe medicines for anxiety as well? 6. Would you like to tell us something about your book "are you OK?" I am waiting for a reply.

[@stacib1992]

Where do you get the ask kati anything questions from?

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Yeah please! I also really wanna know. I suppose that it's not the KZbin Comment section.

[@CoffeeVvv]

⁠​⁠@@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988another channel of her, AKA&OTDM Podcasts, community section. But she said recently it will be moved onto this channel.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

@@CoffeeVvv Got it. Thank you very much!

[@leobeaupre858]

Hi Katie, if. I'm a people pleaser, what is it that 🤔 I could be looking for.. it's becoming almost imbearising😢

[@amdeko]

❤❤ i will forever clap for others until its my turn 🎉🎉

[@ryannesumbry4130]

#1!!!😊

[@katysmislova1754]

avoidance is also an ocd compulsion!!!

[@katysmislova1754]

so avoiding those rooms makes the anxiety go down

[@BEACHDUDE71]

Dealing with my elderly Dad is making me burnout

[@RagnarHoff]

They both kinda goes hand in hand though. Burnout is normally the cause for depression because you've been battling your stress and emotions from physical or mental issues over time that you feel burned out. Then depression kicks in.

[@Patch57055]

How come your videos keep playing in the background after I exist youtube?

[@harrymetalhead3776]

Burnt to a crisp. Health challenges are making it worse.

[@Neo-Reloaded]

What about laziness??? We are too lazy unless it's something important

[@beckysorg9406]

I'm less and less sure that "laziness" is a thing, tbh. It sounds like one of those words people use to put themselves/others down when there's almost always a deeper and valid reason behind their inaction.

[@arunimadahiya3848]

I have a question can someone feel triggered to see his grandfather because her someone from her family died recently

[@stephanimeyers9570]

How is the cigarette smoke a delusion though if it's real? Cig smoke is very disgusting smell and i think would bother most non smokers.

[@percubit10]

Burn out. and depression

[@Supportdog2020]

M

[@leobeaupre858]

VOIDING, BURN OUT😅😊

[@SocraticMethodGuy]

The best life advice in a single sentence is "Don't give a shit what other people think about you". Unfortunately for women, and weak willed men, that is mentally impossible. I wish you ALL knew how it felt thought because the freedom.... my god... the freedom... like Bravehart never knew...

[@Datb2]

BOFFUM