Can Self-Esteem Stop Limerence? + Letters!

I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment , please check:
followingfenna.com
Together we will make a plan how to beat limerence.
Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: [e-mail] or on followingfenna.com

[@followingfenna]

For my help in your limerence www.followingfenna.com

[@Leeta-l6l]

Low self esteem is not an individual's fault.

[@DominicOkinawa]

Thank you Fenna. I needed to hear this again. Because I am an addict.

[@IngridHarrell-k3x]

Fenna your video are great! So informative!

[@followingfenna]

Thank you so much :)

[@knitnpaint]

Yeah the person writing the first letter, that was me too. The fearful avoidant made me absolutely crazy. I am slowly getting better with no contact. I can not even see him at all, because it disregulated me severely. This channel is helping me so much. Thank you Fenna

[@followingfenna]

I'm so happy about that knitpaint thank you for commenting

[@sun-tb6wq]

Totally same situation with the lady who wrote the letter:(

[@DominicOkinawa]

Thank you Fenna. I agree with you Sometimes I get too full of my self and I get limerant.

[@flower_7890]

Fenna your channel is the best one about the Limerence on KZbin, we can see the limerence for what is truly is, the way you explain it is clear, makes sense and is straight to the point( dopamine, addiction, lack of integrity etc) without romantisizing. We can u understand that it's not love at all and it's very helpful because it's easier to get out of it knowing that hormones are responsible for what's going on. Limerence = addiction 😊

[@followingfenna]

Thank you so much Flower, I'm glad you like the practical approach.

[@Tre7650]

I relate to the second letter, having gone through that in the past and trying to avoid a similar situation right now. Thank you Fenna for your advice to keep the person in a box/remember their role! Whenever I see them I kind of repeat to myself what their role is- kind of crazy but it helps. It makes sure that I keep the boundaries in mind. Really helps me cope with not being able to avoid them!

[@followingfenna]

I'm happy it helps Tre !

[@user-wp7qk9qg6i]

Thank you so much!! I seriously started to think that I became limerent because I have low self-esteem. Questioning why LO did not want to be with me, Thank you for clearing this up!

[@aroyals339]

Thank you to the 2 people who shared their story, as well as immense gratitude as always to Fenna. It really helps to hear these and encouraged me to send in my own.

[@jrtg1990]

That's what my friend said to me 😭 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT FOR WANTING TO FALL IN LOVE 😭😭😭

[@followingfenna]

It's a normal human need

[@lf9341]

Another great video!

[@followingfenna]

Thank you !!

[@benjaminquist]

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[@tiffanykolinski286]

Amazing advice

[@followingfenna]

Thank you !

[@NotMePlease1]

I think limerence might be a shocked mourning response.

[@followingfenna]

Absolutely

[@themonsterkingdom4442]

So, I met this girl I think is awesome online about 2 months ago, but unfortunately I became limmerent. All I do is think and think about her. I have OCD+Bipolar and have been going through a depressed episode for awhile now. Is there any chance of me being friends with her again. Or is it pretty much gone.? I know you mentioned in a video you have to let go. But she didnt do anything wrong y'know, Its just my brain thats whacky.

[@tregna6818]

I suffered from OCD and bipolar too when I was quite young .After accepting Christianity and listening to LOGOS VOICE TV BANGALORE it faded away , it was a messy journey because I kept relapsing but I’m cured now .Hope this helps you .

[@themindbenderr]

staying friends while you have limerence is so painful. it is better for you to stay away from her. it hurts like hell, i know, i've been through it many times but if you want to heal this is the only way :( if you recieve any attention from her you'll start fantasizing about possible outcomes and it sucks to be in that position.

[@aroyals339]

While the details can vary, STAYING friends while limerent is impossible. Long no contact and getting over you LO then someday being just friends is the only way. Although in my experience, when I finally got to that point and after a year of no contact I'm not interested in rekindling the friendship.

[@followingfenna]

Sometimes LO does not do anything wrong but we got addicted anyway. Unfortunately in order to regulate we need time apart , just like any other addiction. I'm sorry this happened to you.

[@followingfenna]

Staying friends is suffering for sure :( 😞

[@themonsterkingdom4442]

I took your advice and disconneted, unfollowed etc. Is there a chance of the limerence going away, and us being able to be friends again?

[@followingfenna]

Good for you! Well done, I would first focus on the limerence going away, if you can or want to be friends after the limerence, I don't know, for most of us LO stays a trigger.

[@themonsterkingdom4442]

@@followingfenna Get Healthly fix the seratonin. Then hopefully I wont have her on a pedestal and she's just normal level again. Sigh....here we go.

[@knitnpaint]

Not possible for me to be friends with him again ever. I think he will remain a trigger forever and I need to guard my health.

[@aroyals339]

Really depends, as the hope of being friends again ties into the limerence itself and addiction and not being able to let them go. In my humble opinion, the only way is after a long no contact (say 1 year) as well as having found somebody great who likes you. Maybe another sign is if you hear your ex-LO has a new partner and you genuinely feel nothing and have moved on.

[@followingfenna]

Wanting to keep Lo in our lives also in the future might be the limetence trying to bargain, and that's normal. First detach and after we probably don't want LO in our lives anymore

[@Nelle30]

Can you talk about how to know if someone is limerent over you?

[@followingfenna]

Yes I can and will Nelle!