Can You Drag Aventus Back to the Skyrim Orphanage?

[@TheLaughingSimon]

My patrons and KZbin members enabled this. Blame them.

[@repoman3737]

I will be perfectly happy to take all responsibility for the child abuse your about to enable. No bones about it.

[@jemleith3263]

Wtf you have 18k subscriber

[@repoman3737]

@@jemleith3263 You left out the word only.

[@MadaraUchihaGaming27]

Enable them for more of my new favorite Skyrim KZbinr? Um sure.

[@tomtalk24]

You should have done these dragger videos as a Draugr?

[@Sigma-gb9yd]

Now drag Delphine to Paarthurnax to apologize for asking you to kill him

[@redpoison5092]

Nah, should've drag her to the Thalmor embassy

[@karmachameleon7148]

Yessss!

[@syrenasketches6902]

Yesss, this.

[@themudpit621]

Yes. Then fus ro dah her off the mountain.

[@oreo-postraphe]

I wonder if you can drag Parthunaax. Drag him around skyrim to let people know he isnt as bad as he looks

[@nyx4833]

With Aventus' ability with a dagger and his skill to disappear without a moments notice you'd think he'd kill Grelod himself

[@Firestar4041]

Another lazy npc, wanting some random adventurer to do their work >:v Could also just be he doesn't want to pay for the crime afterwards. His allowance probably wouldn't cover the 40 gold in murder.

[@viderevero1338]

Dude is an Assassin in the making. No wonder he performs the black sacrament. He probably will join the dark brotherhood later on in life.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

@@Firestar4041 he might be able to sell that lovely plate for 40 gold.

[@draco5991rep]

@@viderevero1338 Elder Scrolls 6 better has him as an very old member of the dark brotherhood, just for the giggles

[@codysully1499]

@@Firestar4041 killing geeked isn’t actually a crime no matter who watches the murder it won’t be seen as a crime

[@RollerBaller]

This child is more assertive than Ulfric and Tullius taken together, impressive.

[@IndigoWolfTail]

Aventus' lack of compliance throughout the video was quite entertaining indeed. He's like "I did not, nor cannot, consent to you laying a hand on me let alone dragging all the way to the place that practically made me go mad, steal my mother's corpse and ultimately perform the Black Sacrament!"

[@Firestar4041]

I mean... thats not a high bar lets be honest . . .

[@kdemetter]

@@IndigoWolfTail You make a good point. I'd fight for my life too to avoid going back to Grelod

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

You are gross

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

@@RollerBaller Grelod is a force to be reckoned with

[@cheyanngluck8194]

"I may have the hands for two children, but I only have the patience for one." Lmfao, the sentiment of mothers everywhere.

[@Talidaga]

I also love how earlier “The one thing that’s gunna beat your stubbornness, My stubbornness.”

[@KlutzyNinjaKitty]

Any time a mother needs to go shopping with her kids: “Talos, give me strength…”

[@msgreen419]

Yep, but they don't have the hands for two, they don't even have enough for one

[@lukegamby7261]

simon has gone from kidnapping furious warlords to kidnapping demon children

[@Justanotheryoutuber23]

😂😂

[@Mr_pizzbruh]

Can't really tell a difference

[@cymrucat]

Glasgow, goven 😂

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

He's a saint!

[@SomethingClever18]

Aventus' blank expression as you manhandle him across the map was so funny, like you're damn near drowning him and he's just looking at you like "can you not"

[@casvandijck9338]

Kid's born to be a badass

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

​@@casvandijck9338nope!😊

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

​@@casvandijck9338nope

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

​@@casvandijck9338nope

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

@@casvandijck9338 Or he was pushed into being a "badass" by the orphanage!

[@getthesage8635]

For anyone that may not have realized yet. You can give your adopted children daggers and they just start going ham on the wooden dummy in your house. It's hilarious.

[@kylethomas9130]

Give em Enchanted daggers with 4 digit damage, and raise a war criminal.

[@Sp0on777]

Give em' a paralyze enchantment and see how quickly they use it on you when you stand too close

[@cynthmcgpoet]

Has anyone given their Skyrim kids Nettlebane?

[@getthesage8635]

@@cynthmcgpoet I'm playing on a PS4 and it's not giving the option

[@getthesage8635]

@@kylethomas9130 Raise a war criminal has me rolling 💀

[@williamclark7872]

I know this would be a much shorter roadtrip, but you could drag one of the Greybeards down the 7,000 steps and to Whiterun.

[@Firestar4041]

Get one of those old bas- down and see the world again Staying cooped up on top of a mountain cant be good for your health, especially at that age Also shouting down whenever ya want something just isnt practical

[@SotiCoto]

Would be easier to just throw the Greybeards off the throat of the world. Heck, if he could ragdoll one of them in midair and had no shout cooldown, he could probably FusRoDah the greybeard into Whiterun without him ever touching the ground.

[@kelduarjudgester9083]

@@Mawkatz agreed!

[@stoopidapples1596]

It’s not that short. Not only is there the 7000 steps, but if you’re heading to white run, you will be on the opposite side of the mountain, so you’d then have to travel even further.

[@SotiCoto]

@@stoopidapples1596: You can see Whiterun quite clearly from the top of the 7000 steps though. You just need some means of surviving the fall, and you can jump right off the mountain and land in that bandit mine just over the bridge where the river passes.

[@foxlerfox2810]

The VR closeups really send home how much the Skyrim children look like they're made out of play-doh

[@TheLaughingSimon]

My beautiful root vegetable boy.

[@feyfolken1655]

When you were giving him a bath and he took off running the first chance he got, that was glorious 🤣

[@emismpunk]

4:46 He was out of there 😂

[@wallywallace2184]

He didn't even run, more like glided away.

[@AlmonteKayM]

@@emismpunk se😢

[@casvandijck9338]

@@wallywallace2184 Must be the slippery soap. Not to be confused with the slippery slope that is washing children on youtube.

[@MiyaMam948]

So in-character for a child

[@LucifersSeraph]

"I might have the hands for two children, but I only have the patience for one." I've never heard anything so relatable that could also be used against you in a court of law...

[@spiceweasel8966]

He says that right after grabbing the girl in the tits. He just not want to get arrested.

[@OddOtter707]

Pfftt I lost it when I head that

[@annawilliams5079]

I’m just holding my breath for him to drag the Riverwood chicken to Sovngarde 😂

[@rytyc8874]

This gives me Kratos and Atreus vibes but Mimir does all the talking.

[@HighKing9000]

Lmao 😂

[@gwg2813]

HE CAME THROUGH I CANT BELIEVE IT Edit:if you're up for more torture drag lord harkon to the dawnguard tower, I'm sorry if you decide to go through with this

[@MarquisSmith]

The distance between the vampire castle and fort dawnguard is just absurd. On survival, I gave in and got an unlock fast travel mod.

[@gl1tchygreml1n]

Omg that would be perfect please do it

[@gwg2813]

okay stay calm guys but we might of killed Simon from holding down a button now

[@casvandijck9338]

He should be moved to the Soul Cairn, let him rule there.

[@thebreakfastbandit]

Imagine you escape from an abusive owner at the orphanage, ridding yourself from a truly evil person and wishing for a league of assassins to kill her, and then this man comes in, dragging you by the ear back to the orphanage, saying "aye cmon ya wee fuck, we're taekin ya to riften and t' graelod"

[@DarkOmegaMK2]

All while he keeps complaining and rambling about something because you can only understand like 30% of it.

[@snowy_iris9640]

"Disappointing everyone is part of adulthood," laughing so hard, but it's true! 🤣

[@charlottebrockmakes]

So invested in these dragging Skyrim road trips. considering the NPCs spend most of their time staring blankly and walking the wrong way, there is an awful lot of banter and story 😂😂

[@theeviil2692]

Never thought scottish man playing vr skyrim would be so entertaining. Keep up the good work.

[@johann9212]

A bearded man with a boy, killing everything. this is basically god of war, our Scottish God of War.

[@Just_Call_Me_Tim]

YES

[@waferreal]

“BOY”

[@imionfamilin7057]

on his way to an orphanage

[@DusktoDawn21]

(Inhales) BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@caseyb1346]

Lets go, BOY.

[@Zelaphor]

Look, I know you may have been arrested by the guards for this again, but really, at this point it's tradition! Besides, Aventus' problem with the orphanage was Grelod, and she's dead now, so I think that makes this road trip a double success!

[@TheLaughingSimon]

ALL PART OF THE PLAN

[@crusader2412]

@@TheLaughingSimon Look, it’s not your fault Grelod was a frail old woman. She already had one foot in the grave and you helped her put the other foot in as well. In my eye you did her a favor.

[@austinblades8903]

i think this might be the most accurate depiction of going places with a child ive ever seen in a video game

[@kingbloodhound6959]

Next he should drag Harkon to the dawngaurd to apologize for the whole killing and sucking peoples blood thing that he's been doing.

[@nonbinaryartist8661]

Oh God, your accent definitely makes this way funnies than it should be, real disadisappointed parent vibes too

[@bluemoonslightASMR]

Lol 😂 the fact that you referenced the other characters who “enjoyed” their walk and had raved about it. 🤣 oh goodness thank you again for the laughter.

[@cozysalem]

He's just a wee bairn! What were ye thinking, dragging the poor lad through a bandits fort like that?! Hahaha, I loved every minute of this, Simon

[@IndigoWolfTail]

As I was watching this I was wondering, "How is Simon going to make it so everyone turns on him at the end again?" Sure enough, you delivered, LMAO!!!

[@TheLaughingSimon]

This was the first time I intentionally caused chaos at the end and it still went horribly wrong 😭

[@WarMaidenofHonour]

You should defiantly drag Delphine to Paarthurnax!

[@Anonymousrando-uz9sn]

Would it be "Dragging [character] across Skyrim" without ending with a fight with guards?

[@lukeroth638]

I love how you're treating this whole thing as though you were trying to teach a kid you adopted, some mildly warpped but in all reality well intentioned, form of morality and the Eventus is treating you the way any reluctant as hell preteen would treat any kind of form of authority.

[@KyleJordanGaming]

14:52 I like how the Scottish “We’re built different.” hits different.

[@IAmCrusty]

This is what we call a "great idea". The silly little bugger!

[@jennifercameron8859]

Crusty?!

[@BobbySalamander]

Crusty!

[@TheLaughingSimon]

He's a good lad, just misguided and maybe a necromancer.

[@KyleJordanGaming]

Lol I was just thinking Simon and Crusty would get along famously. Two truly revolutionary thinkers in the ever important subject of VR parenting.

[@KyleJordanGaming]

@@TheLaughingSimon “Misguided and maybe a Necromancer.” Exactly. Silly little bugger!

[@pyromaniac935]

Me: "Let's hope Simon thought ahead and cleared out Fort Greenwall." 16:51 Agh noooo...

[@TheLaughingSimon]

Thinking ahead ruins all the fun!

[@BloodandlatexFX]

I had so much hope and then the ambush came

[@Quazarthegreat]

If this series continues, you will have mental breakdowns every time you see a hill outside xd

[@sidhackney8831]

I love how Grelod's whole purpose in the game is to be murdered by the player early on so she dies if you so much as touch her

[@DreadfulChicken]

I think she only has ten hitpoints

[@paulkline1574]

Hearing the constant stream of Scottish commentary is making me laugh so hard. "Och, you are doing so weel, look how you...no, no, no, where are you going now?"

[@astral5263]

everything about this new way to kill grelod is hilarious: from the accidental nature of it to the hard fall that followed

[@Aljali12]

This presents an interesting moral dilemma. Is it technically kidnapping if the child you're taking is an orphan? Even if you're taking him to an orphanage? Next time just stick some super glue on your virtual palm and drag him with extra gusto lmao I love this shit

[@thats_soopiller]

This is basically my drunk dad taking me to school,the scenic route.

[@bgl7702]

I can't tell if this guy is Glaswegian or from somewhere else in the Central belt, but its really nice to watch someone with my own accent- I used "Chips" to refer to crisps the other day after watching multiple hours of american cooking instructions and I've never felt more ashamed in my life!

[@OmniscientWarrior]

Ironically both sides use chips and crisps wrongly, for the most part.

[@Phobos_Anomaly]

@@OmniscientWarrior So "Not the way I say it" = "wrong", eh?

[@Thatrandomhufflepuff]

The way you spoke to the child was hilarious I now desperately need to see you with a child follower mod! 😂

[@jonquilgemstone]

A take your children to work mod sounds dangerous, but realistic for several dragonborn parents 😆

[@soheiri]

Please drag me across the map, daddy Simon. ... I'm so sorry, I had to. 🤣🤣 In all seriousness, I am binging all your videos right now and loving them. You're so entertaining. (:

[@TheLaughingSimon]

😂

[@genghisn7]

Its always the small KZbinrs that are absolutely hilarious.

[@AFarmerCalledChicken]

Dragging Delphine to Paarthurnax would be an adventure, I’m sure. Maybe then she would see that he’s all right

[@Mawkatz]

If I've learned anything from watching Skyrim series on KZbin all these years, is that if it involves Aventus, to watch it immediately, before KZbin get's it's jimmies rustled. Which means this is sure to be a banger. lol

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

No he's a kid

[@mystikalmadness8739]

Not even 10 seconds into the video and I'm already laughing, you know this is top quality content

[@candicecausey4960]

When you’ve been watching an Irishman destroying Sims4 (Call Me Kevin) and then below you find a Scotsman dragging children by the face😭😂😂😂 Subscribed!

[@sidhackney8831]

That is definitely the connection KZbin used to recommend this channel to me

[@Lekjih]

“You are a miserable little wain” 😂😂😂😂 Am in tears

[@luisnieves5961]

Guard: “What are you doing that for?” FOR CONTENT!!! Lmao

[@duphasdan]

Make a video dragging the leader of the Dark Brotherhood to that guy at the Dragonbridge, and vice versa. Also, drag that one women that owns the brewery in Riften to her competitor's place near Whiterun. A third idea would be to drag the leader of The Blades on over to see Parthanax and show him that he is a cool dragon and does not need to be offed. A fourth idea is to bring the vampire leader and Dawnguard leader to meet each other at their respective castles. And lastly, drag the leaders of the Companians and College of Winterhold to meet each other to solve the werewolf curse problem.

[@cocobunitacobuni8738]

nevermind that, drag the surprise at honeymead into Whiterun

[@stormelfraven]

"Talos, give me strength!" "I might have the hands for 2 children, but I've only the patience fer 1" 🤣😂🤣 Never a more relatable Skyrim video has been made, and it's the first of yours I'm watching ~ bravo! 👏👏👏

[@hrungar1177]

I about died laughing. Been haveing a blast since I found this channel. Keep up the wonderfull work.

[@eddiebendigo7317]

Now I'm inspired to beat Grelod down with a live orphan.

[@labrysamaryllis]

That moment when he reached to the sky for strength 🤣

[@XCHDragox115]

“I may have the hands for 2 children but I only have the patience for one” 😂😂😂 this is gold

[@UrielManX7]

I like how half of these videos are Simon talking to the npc, trying to convincing them why they want to go whenever he's dragging them to., then having a heart to heart with them, to eventually losing his mind in frustration :V

[@themudpit621]

"disappointing everybody is also part of adulthood" too true matey, too true! lol

[@judyh3707]

I like to imagine the reason he usually loses grip is because he keeps insisting on palming his head like a basketball, instead of like, grabbing his hand or something normal

[@whitworth5s248]

4:44 - Ironically one of the things Grelod did teach the children at the orphanage about was the "bad touch" and how to make a quick getaway when it happens.

[@theninkyn0nk463]

It really changed the scale of the map when instead of sprinting on a horse you're walking and stopping every 3 secs

[@BamAdam]

We just buried my grandad today as of 12/18/22. He passed on the 15th. I'm up late thinking about him watching your videos. When I first discovered your videos, he was still here, but struggling on hospice. Your videos always make me laugh. It's really helping. Thank you so much. Congrats on 19k subscribers. You deserve it. Your channel keeps growing more and more, so quickly. Keep up the good work.

[@TheLaughingSimon]

Humbled to be able to put a smile on your face when you need it most 💙🙏

[@PandaOfRed368]

wishing you the best, i know how it feels to lose family

[@BamAdam]

@@PandaOfRed368 Thank you. He was staying in our house in the room across from me. It still feels like he's there, but I know he's not. It's weird.

[@jointjunkieslangards]

"Imma wee bell end." My god that's amazing.

[@Badazzgamer43]

Lol Poor Simon. May the Nine bless u for sticking with it.

[@jakemarie828]

"That's okay. Dissapointing everybody is part of adulthood too." 🤣💀facts

[@KoongYe]

Gotta love how his head fits perfectly on the palm of Dovahkin's hand

[@ChIblcHaN]

I have no idea why this is so intertaining. LOL The VR makes it so much better.

[@jessecarpenter1059]

This is my favorite kind of content. Absolute chaos

[@mathiasbrandon5937]

How do you just unleash absolute dad talk for solid 25 minutes of video xD brilliant

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

Not a dad

[@Billaxle]

Daddy Simon and the Bandit King! 😂😂😂

[@TheLaughingSimon]

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

He is not a bandit!

[@sleepycodes3816]

All i can see is that a child is screaming as a large nord just grabs his face, yelling about an orphanage.

[@highpriest90]

I have NEVER laughed sooo hard in my life!!! Thank you soo much for delivering yet another brilliant video Simon. You are the GOAT

[@thefriendlyelephant1280]

The Bandit Fort battle while listening to Octopath Traveller music reminds me how hyped I am for the sequel! This also makes me wonder how would it be to play as one of the heroes in Skyrim 🤔

[@BorderlandDisorder]

I wouldn't say daddy Simon but Uncle Simon has a good ring to it.

[@kittyIzzy532]

Wow that looks exceptionally annoying. Glad he made it! The end was amazing, Grelolt must have very bad back problems or something. Can't wait for more videos!

[@SotiCoto]

Hold on... right at the end... you smashed the furniture! I didn't know there was a mod like that. That is going on my to-do list to add to the mod-list!

[@TheLaughingSimon]

Nexus is down for me at the moment but the mod is Destructible Skyrim

[@SotiCoto]

@@TheLaughingSimon Nice! There were several by that name, but I assume it is the object replacer one, or whatever it was called.

[@LybertyZ]

Is the ability to grab and drag people in the VR version also a mod?

[@SotiCoto]

@@LybertyZ: It is an older version of the PLANCK mod, which generally lets you grab things, brush things, push things around. In the current version if you try to grab people and drag them, they break free almost instantly and get annoyed.

[@LybertyZ]

@@SotiCoto Thanks!

[@Zaetren]

I have no idea what I just watched, but I enjoyed every second of it.

[@joleenquack]

This music reminds me of FFIX. The one with Zidane and Steiner and Vivi. Works so well with this content, plus an added bonus of nostalgia. Thank you for this, it's perfectly hilarious.

[@annafirth6738]

It is from that game

[@DropsOfMars]

There was a big ol debate in the comments as to whether dragging Aventus back to a horrible woman was a good idea. I was pro-"aventus needs to stop being such a milk drinker and face Grelod himself"

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

He's a kid, he doesn't need to kill anyone!

[@DropsOfMars]

@@Old_World_Nostalgia but he SHOULD

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

@@DropsOfMars Then all the kids can kill.

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

@@DropsOfMars I think Mjoll should help him tattle, and keep the poor kid's hands clean!

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

@@DropsOfMars He's a KID!

[@madeline6951]

This is exactly what I expected Skyrim VR to turn into and I'm here for it

[@BlackKyurem14]

I really love those drag videos. They always fill my heart with joy 😂

[@Prince_Jest]

Plot twist, the giant and mammoth were trying to keep ya on track.

[@fred5406]

I've always considered waterboarding children a principle of any decent KZbin channel so I appreciate this alot.

[@deomengaming]

Love the music lol suikoden at 10:40 if im right gave me childhood flashbacks keep up the good work 👏

[@wreckwrack3197]

Drag a guard to high hrothgar so they can see if maybe they're dragonborn and just don't know it yet.

[@Ad-im1ne]

I just get done playing Klonoa and suddenly YT is recommending me this video JUST because of the music. I am officially shook

[@TheLaughingSimon]

The algorithm is always watching 👀

[@cheddar813]

So many quotable moments in these videos, never gets old lol

[@herecomesalice7440]

I cant believe ive only just found this channel this is pure comedy gold i could watch these all day! I know youre probably no doing these anymore but would be interesting seeing Arngeir the Greybeard being taken to Sky Haven Temple to Delphine or even taking Delphine or Esbern to the Thalmor Embassy

[@RyanRyzzo]

When Aventus was born he had no brain! Only the brainstem! But now he walks, he drools! He crosses his wee arms! Praise Talos!

[@beezee1196]

I really wasn't planning on watching this whole video but it was too funny!

[@jerichojoe307]

I never thought that an Irishman's voice would sound so fitting of Skyrim. Your accent and humor alone have won my subscription

[@RedBaron44]

Scottish actually

[@locustlab]

@@RedBaron44 no german

[@jerichojoe307]

@@RedBaron44 either way Captain pedantic; they are similar accents and the comment was meant for HIM the Creator in that the accent and humor has won my subscription. If it was an issue I'm sure that HE would have corrected me instead of a random commenter 🤷

[@TheGrandexeno]

@@jerichojoe307 Irish and Scottish SIMILAR? LMAO.

[@RedBaron44]

@@jerichojoe307 sorry for rattling you during your period. I didn't mean to upset you. But you know, when you post a public comment you should expect public feedback. I don't see any reason why you would react like a snowflake. And no. Irish and Scottish accents are not similar. Maybe to your untrained ears. Just admit you were wrong and let's all move on with our lives shall we 😅

[@Lillian2167]

So you're basically kidnapping a child in this vid? Cool X''D

[@OddOtter707]

Least its not something else with a child.

[@Cybella]

It's a special relocation operation

[@Old_World_Nostalgia]

I did that. I used some mod to make half of Skyrim follow me and I put them in my homes. I keep Aventus FAR away from the Dark Brotherhood. ​@@Cybella

[@The_Pyromancer]

I am so glad I found this channel!

[@rocket.popsicle]

Haven't laughed out loud at a video so much in a while lmao great work. I'm about to use this video to practice your accent for a D&D character lol

[@Walawalacookie]

So this is what it's like to be a truancy officer in Skyrim.

[@SteveWhittleFL]

Merry Christmas! Your present? A new member! TY for doing this one -- lots of requests for it!

[@TheLaughingSimon]

Easily the most requested video I've had. Cheers for the present Steve, hope Santa was good to you!

[@kristykreme9915]

Love watching you drag people around 🤣

[@solitarysurreal3652]

"Should be the easiest journey..." Yeah...you jinxed yourself in the first minute on this one 😂 Terrific work, mate. You crack me up 😂😂😂

[@Edramon53]

If you drag an NPC into a cage, such as the wolf cages at Cragslane Cavern, can they open the door and leave?

[@TheLaughingSimon]

It's a bethesda game, either way they'd probably just teleport out of it anyway.

[@IamLeah104]

Why does this feel like Kratos dragging Boy through the entire game.. Love your videos! Always make me laugh and giggle :D

[@lozzipop4025]

The accent makes this even better 😂😂