Smash Ultimate Roster: Who's Actually Smashed? Tier List

[@CaptainAstronaut]

Yes this is a dumb video. Don't forget to Subscribe lol Update 1: Ken from Street Fighter is apparently married and has a kid now. I haven't played a Street Fighter since Street Fighter 2 Turbo World Championship Edition, where he was still a Chad. I've been getting mixed reports on Joker and what's implied to happen in certain scenes in Persona 5, but he is a high school student, so I'm still going to err on the side of virgo Update 2: February 17th, 2021 Pyra & Mythra: Y'all already know I've played Xenoblade 2 lol. Despite their designs that...leave very little to the imagination, they're both 500 year old beings, but they've only been awake for 2 of those years. Addam does not bone Mythra in the Prequel DLC, and there's no way Rex of all people boned either of them during the main game. So I'm going to go with "Probably Virgins" Tier, and given that Pyra & Mythra are technically artificial lifeforms, you could even make the argument that they're go with ROB and Megaman into the "Is a Robot" Tier. Update 3: June 2021 Kazuya Mishima: I don't think he ever officially got married, but he is the father of Jin Kazama, another Tekken protagonist starting with Tekken 3, so he goes into the "Has Kids" Tier Update 4: October 2021 Sora Kingdom Hearts: Is a child.

[@Clepto_and_Co]

This isn't dumb, this is art

[@_bofu]

no its not

[@rafaelblackman9879]

Ken is canonically married

[@potatoforfun3186]

I haven't played Xenoblade 2 so I wonder where your gonna rank the new characters.

[@aggapuffin]

In one of the implied scenes, the character he's implied to do the deed with says, "I was thinking... maybe we could study some things we don't have experience in yet...", so he has definitely done it.

[@Tyranogre]

Sex doesn’t exist in the Mario universe. Babies canonically come from the Stork.

[@wingedbluj1674]

It's literally the plot of Yoshi's Island!

[@0nion_Rings]

They boned the stork.

[@JohnLover1179]

@@0nion_Rings Uh Oh

[@zxylo786]

Well you see Luigi, when a paissanno puts his spaguetti noodle into a mama mias raviolli, a bambino covered in prosciutto comes out 9 months later.

[@Linear_Line_423]

@@JohnLover1179 That's because your a dog, Luigi.

[@__Rasse__]

Link is not a virgin. There's a botw speedrun category called Get Laid%.

[@jayboni541]

praise scottfalco

[@derpybreads2212]

@@jayboni541 praise smallant

[@residentfacehead3465]

You could also argue that he did it with Mipha.

[@azophi]

@@residentfacehead3465 he literally didn't tho xd Mipha was crushing on him and was about to tell the princess but then she died :(

[@jayboni541]

@@azophi she died :((((

[@kevinkevin9525]

Bayonetta f*cked the entire competitive scene of Smash at one point. She really is a CHAD.

[@kindajustvibin]

That doesn't include the children, right?

[@UnseenMercenary]

@@kindajustvibin :)

[@ThatOneWeirdFlex]

*fucked up, you mean

[@Mothlord03]

God damn Bayonetta

[@Solarballs77]

@@UnseenMercenary hold Za fuck up

[@pav-el4047]

"This tier list is based on in-game canon" "Wii Fit is a Chad" The game is literally just you exercising

[@maxalain9948]

Exercise makes you a Chad. Not that hard to connect the dots

[@mr.equity1120]

He didn’t used the canon at all I mean fox is married to crystal and he didn’t mentioned that.

[@stevenbobbybills]

@@mr.equity1120 he does mention that Fox could have fucked Crystal, he just doesn't know the series well enough to know that they're actually together. Which is fair, I didn't know until I read your comment.

[@k-leb4671]

@@mr.equity1120 is that the canon storyline of Star Fox Command?

[@LITERALLYSHRIMPO]

Little mac: *Is 17* "Yeah, probably a chad"

[@marioalbertomoreno3819]

I mean, Robin is such a Harem master that he controls the love life of his friends to ensure that their kids have the best growths

[@thekooptroop428]

While Ken is indeed a CHAD, he also has a wife and a kid so he should go into the "married" tier

[@megmanxtreme64]

My point exactly!

[@pablovelasquez6917]

Yep, thats true. And with ryu i will say he could be a virgin, because he is not interested in anything but perfecting his style. So i guess he es more like a warrior monk and probably virgin

[@dush.1746]

@@pablovelasquez6917 Ryu Is a wizard

[@drillsharkprince2982]

Same with snake, he has a husband and daughter

[@jmf_drawings]

Having a wife and children is the highest point in the CHAD category.

[@bambifnf6616]

Pit: *SIMP* dark pit: *dark SIMP*

[@marcoasturias8520]

That's just a simp again

[@drasticplastic1218]

Congratulations. The term "Dark simp" has actually killed me and you get a like

[@bambifnf6616]

Now am pro killer

[@marrqi7wini54]

@@drasticplastic1218 Otherwise known as an incel.

[@lunarkomet]

@@drasticplastic1218 it was in the video already...

[@OlmiOP]

Someone forgot the fact that Ken has a wife

[@kyrogamingvt9716]

Yeah its Ryu, he got it right

[@dabluepittoo-aqua4213]

And that King K. Rool also has a wife

[@OlmiOP]

@@dabluepittoo-aqua4213 I forgot about that one too

[@pottedplant37_]

He alsi has a kid. This is confirmed in Ken's ending in SF3:Second Impact.

[@pottedplant37_]

Also, Ryu's 'Eternal Wanderer' status, it kinda iplies that he's not gonna start a family time soon.

[@michaellogozzo2073]

“I’m going to put all of you in the CHAD tier” We’re gamers... you’re giving us too much credit

[@imagery5425]

Heh.

[@ordinarylittlebastard3248]

Shhhhh...We don't know what might happen if he finds out,

[@louctendo1321]

What does he have against short Man

[@KaidynJohnson-s1y]

update on pyra/mythra, in xenoblade 3 (spoilers) one of the main characters are pyra's daughter. Mythra also is shown with a baby, but the kid is not in xenoblade 3.

[@hopper-jos]

okay but like it’s accurate to Mii lore regardless of us! in tomodachi life, the mii characters all have the potential for a VIBRANT love life!

[@firebolt2211]

i like how his voice progressively gets lower.

[@MrDobleO]

"Ink. isn't. cum. Except that time it was" That was so silly I love it

[@strucktwice6067]

Now we just need to know where and how they got all that cum from... And why the girl inklings can also use it... wait-

[@thenightmare9368]

@@strucktwice6067 I know there the Ink is from ? 😏 *Insert FBI Open Up Meme here*

[@strucktwice6067]

@@thenightmare9368 *OH SHI-*

[@patmurph7769]

Is ink like inkling blood

[@themustardman219]

@@strucktwice6067 The bosses.

[@tannerbirb6385]

As far as Joker is concerned, assuming you date only one of the girls, there's a part on Valentine's Day that heavily implies they go up to his room and "reveal their true forms". I think CHAD works better.

[@brayqr6027]

Even if you date all, as long as you pick one of them on Valentine's, Joker definitely is on Chad tier.

[@tannerbirb6385]

@@brayqr6027 I forgot that was also a possibility. I always felt bad about even the prospect of leading multiple girls on and only ever stuck with one.

[@brayqr6027]

@@tannerbirb6385 Same. I usually just go with Ann.

[@tannerbirb6385]

@@brayqr6027 Makoto or Futaba for me. Though I'll probably stick with the new girl when I get around to playing Royal.

[@brayqr6027]

@@tannerbirb6385 Ah nice. She's pretty good. Only annoying catch is there are fewer romantic moments with them compared to everyone else, from what I heard.

[@jenkohr]

Chrom and lucina are direct descendants of Marth so there is 0 speculation that Marth isn’t a virgin

[@robmacher3253]

Well, much like the whole deal with Ike and Priam, Marth does have a sister who gets together with Merric so some could argue Chrom to be her descendant due to how loosely the term is used in Fire Emblem (like with Marth being said to be Anri's descendant despite the latter never getting married and Anri's brother being stated to be Marth's great grandfather). I do think it's more likely then not that Marth and Caeda got it going at some point, but that one point is something you can argue about.

[@jenkohr]

@@robmacher3253 I believe that due to the circumstances of awakening's creation of most likely being the last fire emblem game, it would make the most sense by far that chrom was a direct descendant of marth

[@robmacher3253]

@@jenkohr I do agree, i just brought that point up because it's something you can debate about.

[@ChillstoneBlakeBlast]

They may not be descendants. Look at Tiki/Robin Support in Awakening. Although the Falchion seals the deal, but it'a most likely.

[@fujonazuna]

If caeda dies?

[@peterduprey7286]

Miis can actually have babies in Tomodachi Life for the 3DS, so from a canonical standpoint, they are indeed chads.

[@hopper-jos]

and not just marriage and babies either! your miis can wreck other miis relationships too (I love tomodachi life sm)

[@dougjdouglas]

Joker is definitely chad depending on who you go with. One of the girls you have a choice to date is a doctor named Takemi. It’s implied during a one of their cutscenes (Christmas Date), and basically confirmed in the Valentines animation that they did the deed.

[@squee-g1658]

Wario actually chose money over getting married to a princess in one of his games XD

[@zaidhernandez4601]

I mean royal politics can get messy so...makes sense

[@patmurph7769]

I would choose money over a princess any day

[@patmurph7769]

@Taelin Cusic Like that's ever gonna happen

[@k-leb4671]

Being married to royalty usually leads to a lot of money though

[@HootyHoot_9]

@@k-leb4671 If Scrooge McDuck has taught me anything, treasure hunting is where it's AT. Wario did the right thing

[@vwtifuljoe954]

Pyra and Mithra New category: is a sword

[@Destian_1]

They aren't actually the sword. They are called "Blades", but they beings manifested from a crystal, and the sword is a means to manifest their elemental energy. Also, keeping the way Blades "reproduce" in mind, they are Virgin.

[@n00bplayer72]

IIRC the game implies Mythra is kinda kinky. She starts blushing at the phrase "One-eyed monster", not to mention what she tries to do with Rex while she's sleepwalking.

[@rasp44]

Robots maybe?

[@simospetrakis8180]

@@Destian_1 they could still may bang for not reproducing reasons😏

[@jerryborjon]

They definitely boned, but they definitely didn’t bone Rex.

[@Ehtomit]

*Fox* : Wild animal Seems right. *Falco* : Virgin Incomprehensible, have a bad night

[@Nitosa]

He's technically not '' wild'' just a bird man.

[@B_A-tr]

@@Nitosa but fox isnt a wild animal either. Hes more human than fox

[@shupasopni]

Based on Falco's comic I would agree with the video. Dude chooses not to smash.

[@lll.24601]

Falco is one word: Bisexual

[@traverse_danikuuu]

Their ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANIMALS so they are a combination of human and traditional animals which means well, they clap each other like humans do

[@TyTeaStrings]

Joker is a chad if you choose Takemi. She takes you upstairs for a “thorough examination.” ;)

[@TyTeaStrings]

@Taelin Cusic not really. Takemi literally comes to your place late at night and tells you that she’s going to give you a thorough examination.

[@ruinedgore]

It’s with almost every other girl, but the message is “... spent some time alone together”

[@FrostedMike]

The OVA of the anime shows that Joker kissed all of them, but Takemi spesificly also went farther. I don't know if it's canon or not, but if it is then the harem route is the canon route...

[@shinobu3617]

I don't think Ike's ending with Ranulf is ever implied romantic. But his ending with Soren definitely is. Ike is the most underrated dragon-f*cker in the franchise.

[@sadgirlhours4088]

He's just like me fr

[@SilentMeteorite]

Isn't every other ending in the game explicitly romantic though? I would assume that would imply *something* was going on between Ike & Ranulf

[@williammckinney5213]

I always thought Ike and Soren were just best friends and Soren doesn’t trust anyone but Ike. It could be romantic but I see Ike as asexual rather than gay, he is just not driven in that way, too focused on other things.

[@cannonballking7]

The tier list nobody openly wanted, but everyone has pondered.

[@purpledefaultpfp6233]

- Literally no one

[@bigchiefcxlvi7292]

Hearing “Isabelle. She’s way too cute. Virgin” in a deep, raspy voice made my day.

[@kylewood4488-b9r]

Isabelle is in a relationship with Doom Slayer don't @ me.

[@Hugo-yz1vb]

Nah she's getting that Doom treatment from the Slayer

[@Ninjujitsu]

And incredibly based.

[@maxalain9948]

"Isabelle way to cute. Virgin." Twitter fanart: LIAR

[@scaldova4700]

Why do I hear Doom music

[@sunettas9738]

@@scaldova4700 Well, those games did come out on the same day...

[@Hugo-yz1vb]

​@@scaldova4700 Because he's coming for his girlfriend, literally...

[@zainepittman653]

My reaction to the fanart: You don't matter. You're not canon!

[@baerenonkel]

Yeah no way she's a virgin

[@FrannyMichelle-xl9mq]

13:43 I find funny how he didn't even think about it too hard. He just went "Yeah, they bone. Next character!" It's like a universal thing at this point, either you are against of the idea, and see them just as friends or you are totally chill with the idea that they're into each other. And honestly? I ship them too, so hell yeah!

[@srfrancium9728]

I'm sorry but Luigi gets pegged by Daisy on the daily, Kirby is also a child

[@wingedbluj1674]

Kirby's technically a baby to his species, but he IS over 1000 years old.

[@marrqi7wini54]

@@wingedbluj1674 In the anime he is described as a baby. (Not canon) In the games, as a child. But still, too young to have done anything.

[@shaolinreimacaco7398]

@@wingedbluj1674 what is his species? because for the whole fandom it's a mystery

[@Fennecaphonbi]

@@shaolinreimacaco7398 Circle That’s his Species

[@wingedbluj1674]

@@shaolinreimacaco7398 hell if I know

[@mahiruhanayo]

me 🤝 Luigi Big ol simp for Daisy

[@LoneRope4]

Ok

[@fortnitekid3239]

@@LoneRope4 stfu

[@EngineerMonkeyBTD6]

Me 🤝 you 🤝 Luigi We are all Daisyizers in the end.

[@billykobiella9559]

I’m just gonna throw out there Joker is definitely not a virgin

[@stinkydinkleson]

Joker has smashed like nine girls Some of them are adults

[@sreeharivettathu3414]

@@stinkydinkleson wdym some of them

[@stinkydinkleson]

@@sreeharivettathu3414 joker is 16 years old and he can date his teacher, the girl that gives him medicine, a fortune teller, and a news teller So he can date four adult girls while the other five are either at his school or at a church

[@RoninOwin1738]

@@stinkydinkleson ten if you count Sumire

[@nerdyfalco408]

Dating doesn't imply smashing

[@yellowlemonPenguin]

Dixie is canonically Diddy's girlfriend, so I bet neither would be kids.

[@fangjustice]

That's not necessarily so. Ness and Paula seem to be boyfriend/girlfriend at the end of Earthbound, and they're both children. Though since neither has gone through puberty yet, safe to say they haven't done anything.

[@k-leb4671]

Preteens can be "boyfriend and girlfriend" although it's way more innocent at that age and uncommon and highly regulated by parents and usually meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

[@leobardosantano8813]

Diddy is cannocally 12 years old.

[@sergiorodriguez1367]

And also sibilings since in the animal kingdom incest is a thing

[@MrWhyGuy0]

Wait they all have the last name kong, oh no oh noooooooo

[@socobambaspis145]

there probably should have been a “depends on the players actions category” for people like byleth and robin

[@megametexe5129]

Peach has a small mushroom shaped man living under her dress at all times. I'm not going to say she's in Chad tier but it wouldn't surprise me if someone was tending to that garden.

[@forcepalmproductions9158]

best comment

[@fantasma_wii8229]

K rool is actually married. Sort of. In DKC3 he makes a comment about his wife, but I’m not sure if it’s canonical or not.

[@samuelgarza2466]

Fox is also married. He’s with Krystal in Command, and even has a son.

[@FluseNomany]

That's just one of multiple ending

[@thekiss2083]

I refuse to believe K. Rool is straight

[@mr.sniffly5297]

Doesn’t DKC3 feature Baron K Roolenstein, who has been confirmed to not be K Rool?

[@fantasma_wii8229]

@@mr.sniffly5297 No, they all are the same crocodile.

[@stuckinabucket6873]

Ike literally rejects multiple women in his 2 games

[@CaptainAstronaut]

Poor Elincia. Poor Aimee. Poor Marcia. They had no idea he straight-up wasn't interested.

[@youtubewontletmetypeagoodu8128]

@@CaptainAstronaut “straight”

[@nerdyfalco408]

@@CaptainAstronaut he wasn't straight at all

[@fujonazuna]

@@CaptainAstronaut Doesn't Elincia get married? (as in to geoffrey) Poor Aimee no one for her

[@deathbringer9893]

yea pretty sure ike just doesnt bieleve much in romantic relationships

[@Killmerightnow]

Mario: Sad virgin Sonic: virgin who doesn’t give a fuck about Girls New catagorey: proud virgins

[@sodaftpm185]

Sonic did have a semi-romantic relationship with Sally Acorn in the TV show and comics though, and he got pissed off when Sally got married to a certain green hedgehog.

[@Cretaceous158]

@@sodaftpm185We do not talk about Archie.

[@Cretaceous158]

We do not talk about Archie. Also Sally married Shadow, not Scourge in that issue.

[@JetZV]

Update: Xenoblade 3 confirms that Rex had kids with Pyra, Mythra, AND Nia; the main protagonist is one of those kids. As for its DLC, it gave us one of its protagonists as another of Rex's kids and insinuates that Shulk had a kid with Fiora. This means that Pyra, Mythra, and Shulk are certifiably Not Virgins.

[@Pikachu_Gamer123]

hold up wtf, the blades can actually reproduce!? That feels so wrong

[@dylanloss5759]

@@Pikachu_Gamer123 no blades cannot, but for spoiler reasons i can say no more

[@AsishRasaily]

Paleutena is based on Athena who is also known as "the virgin goddess". The reason why she banished medusa in greek mythology in the first place was because she was once one of her followers, but then lost her virginity; she was r@ped by Poseidon.

[@0nion_Rings]

Poseidon gonna do dat tho

[@maxalain9948]

Not very wise of her

[@patmurph7769]

Good thing poseidon doesn't have a kid icarus equivalent

[@allingbrodniak8819]

@@patmurph7769 He does actually appear, but it is brief, only appearing for about a minute in Chapter 7

[@CavalryofWinter]

Poseidon convinced Medusa it was safe, they were in a relationship.

[@starcoin5653]

Young Link is actually a chad as the hero of twilight is a direct descendent from him (the hero of time). Unless we aren’t talking about the Young Link from the Child timeline, in which case we don’t know if he eventually smashed or not. Somehow even in a video not about it the Zelda timeline is making things confusing

[@shupasopni]

Young Link probably didn't smash when he was "Young" Link though so you could still say it doesn't count.

[@lukejones7164]

Twilight Princess is the child timeline

[@traverse_danikuuu]

I thought young link, when he grows up, claps Marin? Then descends blah blah blah into the hero of twilight

[@lukejones7164]

@@traverse_danikuuu Marin is from Link's Awakening, which was in the Downfall Timeline. The girl you're looking for is Malon.

[@traverse_danikuuu]

@@lukejones7164 ohhhhhh me stupid I knew her name started with an m lol

[@Glory2Snowstar]

We all know Piranha Plant’s in S-tier, people love receiving flowers on Valentine’s Day and even without lipstick their face is still absolutely beautiful. And that pipe do be packin’ doe

[@thepastaprogenitor851]

As yes Piranha plant. My favorite onahole parasite

[@ricardoludwig4787]

Palutena is based on Athena (often called Pallas Athena), one of the 3 greek goddesses who specificaly had made a vow of being eternal virgins together with hestia and artemis, so its safe to assume palu actually doesn't go to pound town

[@generalcrab0009]

Pauline *does* remember Mario. She’s just too busy dealing with the Mecha-Wiggler problem

[@thestain8004]

This is art. I don't know what else to say

[@secretlyaslug2325]

Little Mac is a short king and I'm tired of pretending he isn't.

[@thekiss2083]

Yeah he's one of the more conventionally handsome dudes in Smash. And those guns 👀

[@tomcruise7481]

In punch out for the wii women flock all over him in one of the pre fight cutscenes so its safe to assume he's not a boning type chad but hes a chad nonetheless.

[@JJ-gl8ti]

Little mac is only 17 tho lmao

[@zaidhernandez4601]

@@thekiss2083 yeah...I'm pretty sure he was at least a bit of the reason I work out

[@smashmallow1012]

man knocked out mike tyson. he's the chad of chads.

[@AJkingwing]

Dark Pit is an anti-simp, but ironically still a virgin because he's such an anti-simp he pushes everyone away. :( Edit: Oh yeah and SUBBED!

[@marrqi7wini54]

So incel?

[@maxalain9948]

@@marrqi7wini54 Yep. Two sides of the same coin

[@leftdreamer6881]

I mean as of now he’s only 12 years old (3 years in game and since it released) So he even isn’t allowed to do that (Pit is over 40 by now in human years though, since he acknowledges the 25 year gap between the games)

[@angryboi595]

"I'm gonna put you on chad" Me who's under 18: *sicko mode starts playing*

[@VisorByte]

Just cause you're not 18 doesn't mean you can't do the n a u g h t y

[@Pikachu_Gamer123]

I guess i'm right there with ya mate

[@lucasdellamaggiore]

10:32 Sooooo......... about that....... my man Shulk has a kid now.

[@genericname2593]

I mean joker can be a virgin but he does do it with teachers, nurses, models, someone who is the literal head of a fucking company, etc if you do actually max out their confidants

[@MoronBoshi]

You know, seeing as he is a high school student, I doubt it (Mr poster said the same thing) plus with the multiple options canonicity becomes murky. Also, the police probably bomb LeBlanc the minute joker tries any fishy business because they got that place on lockdown

[@genericname2593]

@@MoronBoshi you got a point, it was never really specified since people assumed by the wording and context used for it as well

[@MoronBoshi]

Yeah, but let people believe what the want I say. As long as they keep it to themselves at least

[@MatchupnRemixes]

Ken has a child and is married. Ryu is virgin man

[@tomcruise7481]

Ryu doesn't understand the concept of sex He's just punch kick tatsumaki man. All he knows is combat.

[@pesciisthebestcharacter5100]

@@tomcruise7481 he's technically a virgin but he has the mentality of a Chad.

[@zaidhernandez4601]

@@pesciisthebestcharacter5100 yes....I'm sure there's plenty of people like that too

[@sodaftpm185]

@@zaidhernandez4601 Ryu's literally a Chad-Virgin.

[@zaidhernandez4601]

@@sodaftpm185 yeah he is

[@naveenpullukat841]

When he puts Roy in married and has kids but he’s only 15

[@robmacher3253]

To be fair, not only can you argue that he only gets married a couple of years after the events of his game (since nothing is stated about how long it took for him to get married in any of his paired endings) but the age of concent is infamously low in Japan (either 13 or 14, i don't remember which) and his game was never released anywhere else (not yet at least, they could potentially do a remake or re-release at some point in the future).

[@von_da_alien]

@@robmacher3253 Many prefectures in Japan have the age of consent from 16-18 years. Plus as Astro said, people in medieval times got married much younger than we usually do.

[@wingedbluj1674]

@@von_da_alien mostly due to life expectancy being a lot lower than modern times

[@robmacher3253]

@@wingedbluj1674 True.

[@yureka9335]

Isn't 15 legal in Ostia? I don't know much about Fire Emblem lore but in Roy's Palutena guidance Viridi says that it is

[@Mudkip971]

-One of the endings of Star Fox Command has Fox hooking up with Krystal and having a son. -Sheik and Zelda all take part in timelines where we already know of future outcomes, since the Royal Family still exists it's safe to assume they had children. -Dr Mario is still just Mario -Young Link has been canonically confirmed to be Twilight Princess Link's great great grandfather. -The DLC chapter in Fire Emblem are still canon. So Priam is still directly related to Ike. -Ken has children

[@0mqrLives4416]

and toon link PROBABLY had kids with toon zelda /tetra implied by spirit tracks

[@Mudkip971]

@@0mqrLives4416 We don't know cuz WW Link is barely mentioned in Spirit Tracks.

[@SomeWeeboLoser]

9:56 heavily disagree with Palutena's placement on the list. I mean, I get the reasoning but seeing as she is based on Athena specifically, makes me believe she should have been lower on the list. But if she was based on Aphrodite, it would be a completely different story.

[@LongSinceDead1]

Shulk is definitely a CHAD. He and Fiora 100% get it on

[@thekiss2083]

Probably not during the events of the game...as discussed, Shulk Is Dumb, and Fiora probably needs physical therapy before she'll be up for it...

[@lukasbhame9384]

@@thekiss2083 There‘s no way that they didn’t fuck between the main game and epilogue, especially after Fiora got her vagina back. Also, don’t Shulk and Fiora make out on the Fallen Arm?

[@thekiss2083]

@@lukasbhame9384 The epilogue is a year later, so yeah, probably. I was talking about the base game

[@Flomen01]

@@thekiss2083 Even without Future Connected, there's 6 months in between the final boss and the ending cutscene.

[@sephticus6847]

Dunban would make sure of it

[@shieldsurf]

"jade is the correct answer" listen jade is basically hero's older sister and erik is RIGHT THERE

[@rbggsc6719]

They are unrelated and the game itself tells you that if the events that led to the destruction of their kingdom had not happened, they would have married. Besides, Erik is a ridiculous choice because Luminary is very likely to be Erdrick's predecessor.

[@shieldsurf]

@@rbggsc6719 "they are unrelated" and an adopted kid is unrelated to their older brother but it'd still be fuckin weird if they got married. the game implying that they'd get married if things hadn't gone to shit is still weird because just because something is canon... doesn't make it ok??? jade explicitly referred to hero's parents as seeing them as her own. she says she was excited to meet her "baby brother" as a little girl ok it's Uncomfortable all that aside tho i'm not gonna point fingers and say it's incest because i recognize that interpersonal relationships are ~unique~ especially when it comes to defining family & the like, and they ended up not spending most of their lives together in a sibling dynamic anyways so it's Whatever. it is just something that makes me go "ehhh" though your latter point makes absolutely no sense to me though...?? why does hero being gay suddenly make him not erdrick's predecessor ??? and why is it "ridiculous" the subtext between those two is Intense. i could write a whole essay on why they have the absolute most romantic chemistry in the game hands down (except maaaaybe barring hendrik and sylvia but whatever that's another story)

[@sheenpailovesu7841]

Erik is Hero's boyfriend. Can't change my mind.

[@shieldsurf]

@@sheenpailovesu7841 real shit....

[@julien827]

@@shieldsurf they are ROYALTY royalty is synonym with incest. but also gemma is the only correct choice

[@rhettmitchell]

In Three Houses you’re only 2-3 years older than some students and younger than a few and then everyone grows up to actual full adults by the end too

[@sonicthehedge]

Yeah ikr. There also student who are older than you and there is also the Church of Serios members in which all are older.

[@aegrajag]

At the end you are younger than almost everyone, during the 5 years, Byleth didn't aged.

[@PilotCharlesCalvin]

“Byleth, at the end of the game, you become the pope and get married, possibly to one of your former students.” (Seductively) *_”wait what the fuck”_* 14:05

[@nateexists6292]

Xenoblade Chronicles Definitive Edition: HEAVILY Implies that Shulk and Fiora got together, and im 100% certain that she'd be itching to test out some of her more... "fleshy".... functions now that she isn't a goddamn robot. Also, Future's Connected Shulk just RADIATES the "I got laid but now my girlfriend is getting on my nerves" vibe.

[@alexn5743]

By XB3 DLC, you meet Shulk and Fiora's kid. Confirmed smash!

[@Zlixlriffs]

Honestly I didn't expect that many virgins to be in Smash.

[@luisvieira347]

you forgot about the meelee players

[@danieluss8729]

I didn’t expected to see that many Wild Animals

[@samjames6714]

Wario and Waluigi, unlike their red and green counterparts, are supposedly not related. Make of that what you will.

[@0nion_Rings]

If Waluigis PP is a tenth the length of his body it would still be longer than all of ours.

[@imagery5425]

OwO

[@pikagammerpluspizza7478]

I don't know why but 5:07 got me

[@sirlambchops.]

"You can make a videogame, and not put that in!" That's the case for a lot of games

[@Linkaara]

Palutena: CHAD Pit: SIMP Poor Pit just can´t catch a break

[@rbggsc6719]

Regarding Heroes: Eleven: as you said you can get married at the end of the game (Jade is always the right choice). Besides, his game chronologically is the first and he's probably Erdrick's predecessor. Erdrick (Arusu): has no partner during the game, but is the ancestor of the protagonists of Dragon quest 1 and 2, so he is not a virgin (it is hard to believe that the protagonists of Dragon quest are virgins considering how much they like puff puff). Hero from Dragon quest 4: He has no partner during the story, but it is implied that he is the ancestor of Madason and his sons (the hero of dragon quest V). In addition, the male protagonist has too close a relationship with Eliza (the elf friend of his childhood. This is seen in Dragon quest 6). Eight (hero from Dragon quest 8): He's married at the end of the game (Jessica is the right choice and you all know it!!!!). So he's not a virgin and he's well served.

[@rbggsc6719]

@xid No, I played it the right way

[@CDRW24]

@@rbggsc6719 If you played it right, you would of chosen Serena.

[@rbggsc6719]

@@CDRW24 Nah

[@sonicthehedge]

@@CDRW24 A man of Culture

[@IanNBF]

Welp, Shulk, Bayonetta, & Pyra/Mythra all canonically have children now.

[@sunflux5165]

I'm all the way down at Z tier.

[@SuiteLifeofDioBrando]

Me too

[@DriverNeku]

Woomy?

[@jigglypuff452]

I’m S 😌💅✨

[@lofikirbstar623]

virgin

[@slavishentity6705]

From your profile pic, I believe you have your own category called " Yeah I tried dating but all the girls run away when I star using autobombs and splashdown "

[@Nintendo_Wolf]

"Wait what the fu-" is my favorite quote

[@0ctopusComp1etely]

I like how Dedede has such Big Alpha energy that he goes in the Chad category despite being an animal.

[@gavinc.7628]

Ken has a wife and a child, and I think its implied that Ryu gets with his student at the end of third strike?

[@marcoasturias8520]

Wait, what the fu...

[@fistpump64]

@@marcoasturias8520 idk what they saying with ryu. Sakurai likes ryu but she's not ryus student.

[@julioc.3158]

Yeah, she's more of a fan of his and only starts getting thirsty for him during SFV where she has an existencial crisis after reflecting a bit on her adult life and wants to smash ryu so all their knowledge doesn't go to waste and can be passed on.

[@secretlydeku3990]

Wait who Sakura

[@pesciisthebestcharacter5100]

@@secretlydeku3990 School Girl with short brown hair and a bandana, hangs out with Dan Hibiki.

[@ម៉ាក់របស់អ្នកគឺខ្ទើយ]

I think Toon Link would be "married and has kids" because at the end of Phantom Hourglass Link and Tetra find a new continent and call it New Hyrule and in Spirit Tracks Zelda tells Link that she's Tetra's descendant, and I doubt she would've done it with any of her crew.

[@drewhaynes1874]

that doesnt mean link and tetra banged.... just that shes a zelda descendant.... theres other men out there.... and link was never to have even been said a king in any zelda game

[@duckieboi6695]

“Steve and Alex, I have no fucking idea so I’m assuming no” Me: *good, you dodged a big ass bullet right there*

[@Cyorg13]

I mean, it was confirmed they were in a relationship once.

[@qwerandroxt7477]

@@Cyorg13 I’m sorry NO

[@Cyorg13]

@@qwerandroxt7477 what part are you saying no to

[@qwerandroxt7477]

@@Cyorg13 they are not in a relationship

[@Cyorg13]

@@qwerandroxt7477 it was confirmed back in a lego magazine in 2015 where it talks about the characters for all general lego sets released in the summer or close to it, even though it's not very known since it's on a really obscure source, it is real, i think i even have a copy of the magazine around my house

[@princesscadance197]

9:15 Okay, you try watching over a bunch of star kids, then come back to me.

[@doctordice2doctordice210]

I don’t think little Mac’s night can be considered short because 5.7 and 5.8 are the national average, he’s only “short” because most of his opponents are these 7.4 ft giants lmfao

[@aydenka8452]

Young Link does EVENTUALLY raise a family after the events of OOT & MM. This is confirmed because Twilight Princess Link is a descendant of Young Link.

[@q-miiproductions878]

RelaxAlax found that King K. Rool has a wife. He exclaims so in one of this fight lines.

[@ballisticboo7808]

Queen K. Rool?

[@andysnider6984]

Perhaps that is the ramblings of a crazy being.

[@JohnFitzgerald-Kennedy]

I saw this in my recommended and... and I couldn’t skip it

[@jesusrosaortega8673]

Joker literally bangs everytime he reaches confidant 10 whit any female he knows, i would say thats chad

[@GDrakoTurnover]

I swear half way through he started talking like he's narrating a fan fiction

[@lievschiffman9540]

I might start something with this, but I think little Mac is canonically 17.

[@fod-der]

Correct

[@DriverNeku]

*yeets little mac into it's a child tier*

[@danielobrien2998]

So is Roy I think

[@tachankathechub4727]

@@danielobrien2998 Roy is 15

[@zaidhernandez4601]

Yep....soooo

[@Moss_Dude]

I don't think you've seen the Get Laid% speedrun of BoTW

[@anthoblast4678]

Isabelle is to cute to not be a virgin The internet: we already took care of that

[@iseegreen5297]

@Taelin Cusic good be pure

[@morgansoul2651]

Alright WHO DID IT? *Pulls out Shotgun* WHO THE HELL DID IT?

[@ordinarylittlebastard3248]

Doom Slayer will hunt R34 artists down for sure.

[@briangruenewald7536]

Enjoy your 69th like 😉

[@Coolestguy101]

Did you confuse Isabelle with ankha

[@Adozera]

Well now that the DLC for Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is out, we know that Shulk had a child.

[@thereyvan]

7:34 most Sonic fanfiction also does all of that despite him being canonically 15 years old *FBI OPEN UP-*

[@EpikkWin]

I deadass couldnt stop laughing for the entirety of this video LMFAO

[@Kold-Kanadian]

a few things I'd like to point out: 1) I'm pretty sure in her first game Bayonetta said she's not interested in looking after children, making babies on the other hand is a different story, and i'm pretty sure that she knows that Luca simps for her HARD in the second game 2) Shulk DOES get with Fiora at the end of his game, it wasn't in any of the remakes, but was in the base game from the beginning 3) while i agree cloud IS a virgin, you can set him up with 4 possible candidates: Arith, Tifa, Yuffie and barrett. and HE's canonically a dad because he adopted a kid, Berrett not cloud in the end however, the list doesn't change at all

[@Bargate]

Shulk joined the Chad tier in 2023 with future redeemed

[@supermarioyo-yo7639]

14:52 my favorite part of the video.

[@classclown6ya]

the hardest ive laughed all week also, i like the extra effort put in here, your facecam doesnt cut at all yet somehow matches your cut audio track. slick

[@Cerbleur07]

2:44 DEFINE WHICH CAPTAIN FALCON!! It exists James Douglas Falcon and Andy Summers, the later is her brother and is implied that James is dead as the title of Captain Falcon passes from person to person and each Falcon search for its successor as is shown in GP Legend as Rick Wheeler becomes the newest Captain Falcon after Andy's death.

[@thisisruubruub839]

The shulk one aged so well

[@GarryDumblowski]

Dark Samus is a Metroid, and thus a member of a species that has a hive-queen relationship similar to bees. It's highly unlikely that the metroid that mutated into Dark Samus was a queen, because otherwise she would have stayed with the other metroids on Tallon IV; However, it's hard to know because Metroids are incapable of going through their healthy life cycles when not in the proper environment; so, considering Dark Samus was a test tube baby who was likely made through cloning, i think it's fair to call her, like... an actual incel. Like, not even in the "eughhhh i cant get girls because i want them to treat me like kings and constantly obsess over me" kind of incel, as in she's literally incapable of having sexual desire...

[@louctendo1321]

No it is a phazon thing and not a Metroid

[@GarryDumblowski]

@@louctendo1321 Dark Samus is a metroid... it's... literally shown to you in-game...

[@louctendo1321]

@@GarryDumblowski No it's called Metroid only because of one singular thing Metroid means ultimate warrior and Metroids work in completely other ways on top of that Metroid prime already was in the meteor and the meteor itself is older than all Metroid

[@GarryDumblowski]

@@louctendo1321 that... got retconned LMAO

[@louctendo1321]

@@GarryDumblowski oh

[@bityoshii]

8:55 SWEEEEET HOME AAAAAALABAMA

[@tachankathechub4727]

There’s no way Joker is a virgin with how Kawakami and Takemi are

[@thewoomylord]

me: *sees the miis in the CHAD tier* Also me: Hey mom, I'm in CHAD tier. Mom: WHAT?

[@KirBYEonyt]

Kirby mass attack: this one gonna need some explaining. Game theory identified kirby as a cell When a cell splits into two, its a daughter cell So kirby lays…. kirby

[@jeschoofs]

Love how he was just bopping to the music the entire game

[@PK-Radio]

5:40 actually in the kirby anime it was shown in an episode that meta knight had a partner and she was killed by a monster guarding meta knight's sword In that same episode it was shown that she had a daughter What im saying is meta knight may or may not be a chad Also at 7:54 In the archie comics sonic actually marries Sally Acorn and has children So sonic is indeed a chad

[@generalcrab0009]

The anime isn’t canon

[@Cretaceous158]

Archie isn’t canon.

[@lasatar6428]

The chance that Shulk didn't do it with Fiora sometime after the events of the main game is extremely low.

[@Chaos_Seven]

Shulk and Pyra/Mythra are confirmed to not be virgins as of Xenoblade 3. Two of the Future Redeemed DLC characters are their descendents. Shulk has a son and Rex had Glimmer with one of the Aegis girls. Also, there's the infamous photograph that shows Pyra and Mythra holding their own babies that they had with Gigachad Rex, one being Glimmer.

[@chloroform1236]

Fun fact: Alph is actually the most optimistic pikmin character to even land on PNF 404

[@agenthappypotato868]

10:20 New category: In Jail

[@Elfilinfan]

Where i belong

[@TheCoolerDrilis]

Putting Shulk in the "dumb" category is pretty ironic, considering he's probably the most intelligent character in _Smash..._

[@allingbrodniak8819]

Really the only ones who can compete are Robin and maybe Palutena

[@phoenixfire1074]

@@allingbrodniak8819and Ridley

[@Aevum13th]

I could see Wario being a Chad, as he is rich, so he could've had anyone he wanted by waving money in their face. Though it is likely he would rather sleep with money and garlic instead...