Car Seat Headrest - A Personal Memoir | Peering In

I didn't think I would return to Car Seat Headrest. I messed up that video the first time, and I thought that was it. However, when I listened to the new Twin Fantasy.. memories started flooding in. This isn't an analysis of Car Seat Headrest. This is my story. This is my personal memoir
SOCIAL MEDIA
Twitter: / hepyrian
Facebook: / hepyriann
Instagram: / hepyrian
SONGS USED IN THIS VIDEO (Chronologically)
Sean Intro v3 - Justin Cook
2112- Rush
Beach Life in Death (2011)- Car Seat Headrest
Beach Life in Death (2018)- Car Seat Headrest
Breath of Being (Reprise) - Justin Cook
Nervous Young Inhumans (2018)- Car Seat Headrest
Sober to Death (2011)- Car Seat Headrest
Bodys (2018)- Car Seat Headrest
Famous Prophets (Minds) - Car Seat Headrest
Twin Fantasy (Those Boys) (2018)- Car Seat Headrest
Hepyrian- Justin Cook
CHANNEL DESCRIPTION My name is Sean, Hepyrian online, and I do analytical video essays in the series called Peering In. These videos look into a work of art and explain what is inspirational and impactful about that piece. I'm an aspiring artist myself, and learning about these works in this way imporves my own work. I try to upload on a monthly basis, talking about film, video games, music, and more. If you're an art lover, you're in the right place.
All footage and sound is used under Fair Use Guidelines
Love you Will

[@Hepyrian]

Thanks to everyone who went to the discussion hangout stream for this video! VOD here ( kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYSbm4N8qsaNatE ) Lemme know what you think of this video in the comments below. Some of the things said here are things I've literally told nobody else until now, so it's a crazy thing. And, if you don't know what the original video was, here it is kzbin.info/www/bejne/gajVh4ScfNCMh7c

[@_penguins9916]

The situations that Will finds himself in arent all relatable but the emotions he explains are extremely relatable to everyone

[@woogusaurus1445]

This video? Epic. Will Toledo blocking you on twitter? Not epic.

[@mionami9973]

I really hope Will sees this and unblocks you, this video really touched me. Being in a similar place right know that you and Will used to be in, the re-recorded version sort of gives me hope that things will improve once I leave high-school behind. Thanks dude

[@Hepyrian]

MioNami you don’t even know how much it means to hear that something I made is touching. Thank you for the kind comment

[@Hepyrian]

JEXNO because I was disrespecting art he poured his heart and soul into

[@Hepyrian]

JEXNO nah it’s all good. I think it’s kind of a push and pull. Like if someone made a video like that about me, I wouldn’t be happy about it, so I get Will’s perspective. I also think he might have overreacted. That said, he’s in the public eye now, and I’m sure he’s just trying to play it safe and adapt to that environment.

[@tommorgan8589]

Hepyrian he’s publicly bashed Sufjan Stevens most recent album which he pours himself into. I think it’s a bit childish of Will to block you because of a video. He doesn’t seem the type to not take criticism

[@Armaan8014]

@@jexno2127 Yep. As an artist that's made stuff and has received criticism/ bad reviews, I'd never block someone for reviewing my work with a less than positive angle. In fact that video wasn't even that harsh. It was just his opinion (and I don't think Hyperian should disregard his review - I didn't 100% agree with it but he made some decent points)

[@GameScoreFanfare]

It's not every day you drop your opus.

[@cheesecakelasagna]

So far, only two albums have ever stitched my heart, made me feel less lonely. They are Twin Fantasy and Tyler, The Creator's Flower Boy.

[@OhVicanne]

CheesecakeLasagna ❤

[@ethansics9400]

Tbh I thought you were going to say twin fantasy and twin fantasy now that it’s two albums but I mean fair enough, they’re both good records

[@ggguitar.]

CheesecakeLasagna and now IGOR.

[@cheesecakelasagna]

I legit was about to comment something like "same" and explain why but then I realized (a.k.a. my shitty internet connection finally loaded) this comment was me 2 years ago. lul

[@mamoebach]

I relate

[@RobH3445]

I’m a junior in high school. Got into Car Seat Headrest through watching Flaked on Netflix and hearing Something Soon freshman year. I believe that I’ve grown and it’s crazy how attached I’ve become with CSH. I explored the band; I related incredibly to the emotion in the songs. It was always personal. These struggles and bad thoughts I had were able to find themselves not only able to escape through this band’s words, but also to the gritty indie feel of the instruments. It was an outlet, a way to get better at being an individual. I appreciate this video my guy, keep it up with this great creative content. :>

[@Hepyrian]

Rob H. Thanks appreciate the kind words

[@RobH3445]

Hepyrian don’t worry about it man. Been following you for a while and I like how you’ve been doing stuff. You deserve praise.

[@underscorespace5763]

what is flaked ?

[@cheesecakelasagna]

4:28 "...there's more forgiveness than *furry.* "

[@audiedead]

man i see you everywhere

[@poorboyhustle]

I have my doubts you'll read or see this, but I just wanted to say that it's so incredibly admirable of you to post this. It's open, and shows vulnerability, and it's absolutely remarkable that you, as a person, had the courage to even make it, let alone post it. I relate to nearly everything you've said here, and even being a critical and introspective person, its still showed so much to me. Thank you... genuinely.

[@Hepyrian]

Thanks so much for these kind words! I'm glad this has impacted you in a meaningful way

[@charchuuu]

17:31 reminds me of a time when my drama teacher was doing this art interpretation thing for something I don't remember, and she said "once your finished getting in formation, the pose and what you think doesn't matter, it's up to our opinion, it's not a guessing game like charades" it really helps me understand Will's perspective

[@ItsZeppelinPVP]

i’m feeling what you were feeling when you listened to the old Twin Fantasy while I’m listening to the new, this video hit different for me right now, thank you

[@coffee5736]

That moment when you find those car seat headrest memoirs on youtube. It's a good moment.

[@socko7336]

This perfectly captured the relatability of Twin Fantasy that I've experienced, I gotta say that you really redeemed yourself from the last video in that aspect. Seriously well done with this video, it's nice knowing I'm not the only one with such an appreciation of Twin Fantasy, I've always had trouble explaining my appreciation of the album to friends and family, but this video explains that perfectly, great job!

[@nskeow]

This video is incredible. I think its crazy how a lot of the people who listen to Twin Fantasy become attached to it for for different reasons/relate to different themes from the album. It seems people interpret the album in ways personal to them, though especially if they're in that demographic of the disillusioned teen. I definitely view the album in similar and different ways to you but i think thats what is truly great about it - the fact that its themes seem so universal yet specific to whoever listens to it.

[@Hepyrian]

maestro o Exactly!

[@squabungus7310]

10:12 the money store

[@Hepyrian]

Ben Langtry ooo I should talk about that album too

[@keid2090]

I'm not sure how to properly state how great this video was. In a purely technical sense, the editing and delivery was superb, and while I usually just keep videos like this in the background to listen to, I kept the video up in part to watch the visuals, but also because it felt like something I needed to put my full attention to. I wasn't long at all into the video before I realised just how personal you meant in titling the video a "Personal Memoir", and while I wish I hadn't put off watching this from my recommendations because it was 20 minutes long, part of me is glad that I waited until a day where my attention span would allow me to get the best out of the video. At least, the best that I can at this moment, because I'm sure if I watched it again somewhere down the line (which is likely), I'd find even more to take away. For me, Car Seat Headrest has been an extremely prominent part of my life for the past 11 months. Before that, I listened to a lot of Ben Folds and Weezer because that was the music I grew up with and I could feel at home with it. It was the kind of music that I could dance and sing along to whenever, choosing different songs to fit my mood or situation but always feeling that familiarity, comfort and nostalgia. The first CSH song I remember hearing was Knife in the Coffee, a minute or so away from home in my dad's car as he drove me back from the airport. At the time, I was just moving back to my home state and city after spending four years in another, where I lived with my mum. I remember my dad saying something about how I'd like this band and that I should check them out, talking about how the original songs were recorded inside the lead singer's car. That night after I went to bed, I searched the song up and really loved it. When I think back, the timing of this initial introduction to CSH is so crucial to how the next few months panned out for me, marking a new beginning of sorts. When I moved back home, everything was familiar, but it was different as well. I had to learn things again, and adapt to how things had changed while I was gone. I quickly realised that the memories and ideas that I held of places and people were often quite different to the reality. I didn't know everything that I thought I would, and I felt like a stranger in my own home. I never really felt at home for those four years I was away, which is largely why I would listen to the music of my childhood to try and feel some sort of comfort at the time. When I moved back I decided that now was as good a time for change as any, since everything was different anyway. After listening to Knife in the Coffee, I promptly forgot about CSH until a few weeks later, when I was on the way to the airport again to travel back for the last time and collect my things, and Beach Life-in-Death came on in the car. The only parts I really remember hearing then was the screaming dog-motif and schizophrenia lines, but later that song was going to have a massive impact on me. I downloaded Teens of Style because it was the most recent album on KZbin Music, and fell in love. Songs like Something Soon and Times to Die became new favourites and even inspired me to pick up guitar again; I remember sitting on the beach with my friends while I played (a very janky and disjointed version of) the former and thinking "Maybe I could make something like this". At the time, CSH was mostly a musical inspiration for me, but was slowly beginning to take on a more personal meaning too, one which accelerated quickly after listening to Nervous Young Man, and rapidly after Twin Fantasy. At this point, I had been back home for a couple months or so, the buzz of newness wearing off, as well as the excuse in a way. I was slipping back into the monotony of life which was no longer special - it wasn't the idealised version I wanted it to be. I wasn't the idealised version of myself that I wanted to be, nor were the people around me. In all that had been going on, it was easy to lose track of myself and my situation, and so when time slowed down and I was at a point where I could address it, I... didn't. Rather than accepting this change and this part of my self I preferred to keep living in a fantasy of sorts - one where my problems nor anybody else's exist. This, of course, made things worse, and it became that my fantasy turned against me - all of these rose-tinted perspectives I tried to project only reminded me of how things really were, binary oppositions between perfect and utterly abysmal. Of course, I wasn't living in hell, but fantasies tend to stretch the truth, if not fabricating new things altogether. I fell into what I remember describing to myself as the lowest point in my life, where I felt like everything was in limbo. I didn't want to be sad about things, but if I wasn't sad it felt like nothing at all. I couldn't tell what was worse. I wanted things to change, but at the same time didn't make any efforts to change. I couldn't tell if I was just scared or if that was an excuse and I simply didn't care enough. I felt like there was nobody I could talk to, because no matter how much I wanted to unload, I didn't want to put anyone else at a disadvantage or come across the wrong way. And honestly, if it weren't for Twin Fantasy, and namely, Beach Life-in-Death, I'd probably still be stuck in that place now. Beach Life-in-Death was essentially my anthem for a couple months - I would listen to it on repeat on the way to school, in class, at home, everywhere and anywhere. When I was feeling my worst, it calmed me down, and when I was feeling nothing, it reminded me of where and who I was. Either way, it grounded me back to reality in some sense whenever I listened to it. Though the song is emotional, gritty, and negative, it helped me because it was real. I realised that Will Toledo was another person who, regardless of living a wildly different life to me, was someone I could relate to. Someone who understood the feelings I was experiencing, and proving that I wasn't alone. As I listened to Twin Fantasy, my perspectives changed. I picked up on symbolism, meaning in lyrics, and became fixated on trying to interpret everything, finding things I could latch onto and relate with, but at the same time looking out for the things to avoid - some negatives which I thought I could be better by not exhibiting. Ironically, I vividly remember hearing the line "when I come back you will still be here" and thinking that it was directed to me - inadvertently exhibiting one of those negatives I thought I could avoid, as Will sings about in Strangers with: "I took lyrics out of context and thought 'he must be speaking to me'". When I realised this was also around the time I was realising that Twin Fantasy - or any CSH album for that matter - wasn't something I could define. Meanings across songs are wildly different from another yet cohesive, with no real linear flow of time, a definite end or beginning. The album just... is. I realised that as my perspectives on the album changed, so did my perspectives on myself and my life. The two are intrinsically linked. I can't see Twin Fantasy as Will does, because I am not Will. In trying to liken myself to the contexts of the album in desperation for something to relate to, I strayed from myself, still stuck in that fantasy I had created of myself. I'd like to think that now, I can properly distinguish what is reality and what is just a fantasy, and how to deal with it. After all, just because everything in a fantasy may not be true, it doesn't mean it isn't important - it's given me so much to reflect upon and shown how much that I can really grow. If I am able to determine how to better myself from my lowest point, I can learn how to improve from my current point as well. I wouldn't know this without Car Seat Headrest, and without Twin Fantasy. I wouldn't know that there are people out there that are just like me. I wouldn't know that things could get better, and that even if they weren't better immediately, that was okay. I did not mean for this comment to get so long. I was looking for excuses to not write it after I started, but I figured this was the least I could do to honour the bravery of vulnerability exhibited not only by Will Toledo, but also you, Hepyrian, and everyone else in the comments section. You have all inspired me, genuinely, not to be afraid or ashamed of myself, to embrace reality. The dark period of time I mentioned was largely me coming to (or rather, avoiding coming to) terms with me being a trans guy. I was realising the future I was going to face, that this is my whole life. I felt like nobody could ever love me for who I really was, that nobody would ever truly see me as male. I was so intensely afraid of this that I felt ashamed and guilty for the people around me, that I had caused them inconvenience by simply existing. My mental health was declining to places I never thought it would and I often thought that if things kept travelling at the rate they were, I wouldn't be around for much longer. As I said earlier, if it weren't for Car Seat Headrest, these past months would have been extraordinarily different. Without them, I'd still be getting worse and worse. I don't think it's much of a stretch to say that CSH saved my life. I'm so much more full of love, motivations, ambitions and awareness than I was before and I will forever be grateful for that. I want to become someone who can inspire others to understand themselves, to let them know that they are not alone and that they can keep living. And to do that, I have to be vulnerable. So I wrote this. Thanks :)

[@Hepyrian]

peasy wow thank you for the comment. This is the kind of response that really means a lot so thanks for sharing!

[@mrx02407]

Hey dude i just wanted to say that i pretty much feel the same about these records, i think a lot people that love csr and specially twin fantasy went through the same or almost the same experiences that will had to cope, in my case also was idealizing someone i loved and didnt went quite well, but as you said i grew out of it, the new release also came in a perfect time for me and understanding what happened and looking at the past with more mature eyes. You pretty much nailed it for me, thanks and keep up the good work.

[@RamHoot]

Dang, making me really think about this on my end. I never really listened to full albums or followed any bands religiously as a kid, I kind of went through different songs and genres that I liked. I was never really much into music but whenever my brother recommended something, I checked it out and liked it. Basically my whole musical library was a subset of his. So when he left, I had to stop idolizing him as much and start discovering my own music. It took a while but eventually I found the weird crap I listen to today. I think I'm saying this because, hearing your experience, I consider you really lucky. Like, I can't revisit any of my old music, partly because it wasn't really ever mine, but also because it makes me cringe. For you, having this one album mean so many different things to you at different points in your life is a real luxury, it's something that will stick to you for a while. You'll be able to listen to these songs and kind of experiences all of these present and past mindsets all at once, like some sort of super deep personal reflection. Something about that is really cool. Idk, this video was really sick, good job here dude. OKAY SUPER FUN CHALLENGE NOW: upload this video to a profile on a dating site and then get a date and you will be crowned king arthur.

[@Hepyrian]

Oh trust me though, there's a lot of music I listened to when I was a youngin that is so god awful I refuse to even mention it. I definitely see what you mean. For a long time, I only listened to bands my dad or brother listened to, hence why Rush opens this video. I really appreciate this comment. I don't really have proper words to say it right, but the really thoughtful comments you leave are a huge motivation Dennis

[@AAAAAAAAAAH_games]

Fantastic, you are really pushing the boundary between video essay into art, and more so blurring the lines between those aspects of your pieces that are often thought as separate into 1 coherent “Video art essay” if you will. I was 10 minutes in like “this is great” only to look and see I was only halfway through the journey. Hope Will see’s it

[@Hepyrian]

Justin Cook I hope he does too. I would try to tweet it to him if I could

[@PolicemanPlanet]

This was insanely well done Both of your CSHR videos are amazing. Thank you so much.

[@Hepyrian]

I appreciate the kind words

[@zack0w0]

it's so amazing to see people that is as passionate to something as you are, your video is the personification of my love to car seat headrest and i loved it :)

[@nofunclub3592]

hi. i just want to thank you for this video. as deeply personal as it is for you I feel my own personal connection to the emotions you express. this is beautiful and raw, it captures the life of twin fantasy and I love it.

[@nofunclub3592]

also... the distressed laying on the ground? fuck man. hits close to home

[@TeknoSquirrel]

holy fuck this video is what I've needed. Not to come to some sort of realization, but just to have comfort in the fact that someone else has had such a similar experience. Thank you so much.

[@Hepyrian]

Thank you for the comment. I'm glad something I made can connect with you!

[@CoolcatzCorner]

I was almost brought to tears by this video. Great and powerful. Good job.

[@Hepyrian]

Thanks! That means a lot

[@tsudalua]

probably my favorite video on the whole site now thank you so much for this

[@supdawg4508]

absolutely amazing job. You analysis was phenomenal and your own personal stories were extremely brave and heart touching. You perfectly described how I felt listening to twin fantasy when I first got into it and my relationship with the album. As an angsty gay teen who was struggling with their sexuality and depression as a result, twin fantasy spoke to me on such a visceral level. It was so validating to me back then to hear someone else going through exactly what I was feeling and in a way it quite literally saved me from myself. Now as just a gay teen with much less amounts of angst I don't connect with the old twin fantasy as much anymore (although it is in my opinion the best album ever made and will be my favorite album forever) and because those emotions are still pretty recent I don't really think I'm able to reflect on them unbiasedly or with enough maturity to be able to connect with the new twin fantasy as much as I would like. I will definitely revisit it in the future though. Again, phenomenal video, please keep them up!

[@Lonelyjones]

I don’t think I’ve ever related with a single video on KZbin as much I as have this one. Thank you.

[@nox12566]

This is really, really great I actually just found this band a couple months ago, I’m a sophomore in hs at the moment and it genuinely is an album that I’ve never seen anything like. I love it a lot and I think you did a really good job at capturing what most of it is trying to say through this video, especially the themes of anxiety and depression and everything else Seriously, you seem like a really smart person and I love this video a lot. It’s cool seeing how other people perceive this album because I think everybody takes these in lyrics in slightly different ways depending on who they are as a person you know? But yeah, cool vid and I love Twin Fantasy a ton. I think it’s definitely the music I need right now : )

[@sadboybb5570]

This video is so great. Thanks you so much. Makes me so happy to see other people who feel the same way about this album and the same feelings connected. Beautiful stuff.

[@A_DeepLoveForOtherMen]

I watched this months ago but I can't forget about it. What a moving and real video wow. This made me commit myself completely to Car Seat Headrest so thank you.

[@danidusi]

Loved the video, I really appreciated your thoughts on this album that I love so much, I’m glad you had this album on that time.

[@Hepyrian]

I'm glad you liked it. It certainly touched me in a major way at that time in my life.

[@sonbrotherfriend]

The way you described how you wanted your real self in front of others was so accurate and I am extremely grateful for your existence and making of this video

[@staticknobs]

its always nice seeing others appreciate twin fantasy, nice vid dude !!

[@Hepyrian]

jio thansk

[@olly9685]

car seat headrest is the only band that's been constant for me since i was aged 14 to 20. will's music seems to have correlated with every major change or depression or romance or whatever that i've been through since that age, and it's surreal to think that this one furry twink from virgnia has somehow encompassed the whole range of human emotions. your video is so beautiful, and encompasses that feeling perfectly. for me, madlo feels nostalgic even though it was only released last year, because i just *know* that i'm gonna be listening to it, anywhere between two to ten years in the future, and remembering where i was and what i was doing and what mental state i was in the first time i listened to it. and it's even crazier to know that, just like my now-experience with the self-released albums, im gonna have new lyrics that i latch onto, and that somehow reflect my life perfectly, albeit in a different way from the first time i listened. "i may not ever know what the objective meaning of twin fantasy is. but i know that it's going to mean something different every time i return."

[@jamesreads4713]

I'm 16 & this was exactly my experience. Dude, thank you.

[@IndieheadsPodcast]

Rarely feel the need to reach out or comment on most stuff I see on here, but this is a fucking stellar video and one that really, really connects with my own experiences and how CSH connects with him. If you’re still in STL, hopefully will see you at Delmar Hall show in September! Great video man, seriously.

[@Hepyrian]

Indieheads Podcast thanks for the kind words! I’m not sure if I’ll be in town or not for that show but I’ll go if I can

[@litsheris]

Damn, I just came across this. Respect I really loved it!

[@ganks]

this video is 2 years old but WOW you are very talented. i hope you someday get the recognition you deserve for these videos.

[@destrokes1534]

I feel you man. Its terrible to have one of your favourite artists have you blocked simply because of a misunderstanding. Don't beat yourself up for it though, Things will get better.

[@MMLCommentaries]

This is my third viewing of this video. I didn't really know what kind of comment to write because this piece sort of just stands on its own. It's deeply personal and is something that could only be made by you. Many of the topics you discuss here I personally relate to. Other topics are things I'll never fully understand because I've never experienced them myself. But it doesn't matter. This isn't just critique of art, my dude. This IS art.

[@Hepyrian]

Well you left the right comment. My whole goal is to blur the line between essay on art and art itself, so to hear that I'm doing that means a lot. Luv u matt

[@MMLCommentaries]

Hepyrian ❤❤❤❤❤

[@1293jessica]

awesome video dude, I'm so glad you made a follow up, your previous video makes so much more sense now

[@Dandougproductions]

This is the first video I've seen by you and it blew my socks off. It's an amazing video.

[@MisoFirefly12]

This is amazing, I’m a sophomore but I love Car Seat Headrest so I relate

[@warrenwhips]

Fantastic video. Since I listening started listening to this album I’ve started journeying into it deeper and deeper. My experience with the album was different than yours though. I’m still going on my path through my teenage years and I’ve been able to project my problems onto this album and it’s been able to help me immensely. When I entered into my teen years I began to struggle with depression. In the past year or so I’ve found music to be a great outlet for depression. Stop Smoking made me realize how my peers don’t want to see me suffer and they want to help. Beach Life is like a bout of depression and an explosion outward to the world. The raw emotions on this album are incredible. What makes an album great in my opinion is what you take away from it and like so many others, I’ve taken away so much from this album.

[@n0sferatu174]

im a freshman right now and am going through similar shit you were going through, glad to know im not alone

[@JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJay]

My experience has been incredibly similar. Sure, it was 4 years later than you, but oh so similar.

[@troglodyke.2925]

Let's hope this is the video that gets you unblocked by Will

[@maalbe987]

Loved this! Have to be honest: I did kinda dislike the original video when I came across it a few months ago (for a lot of the same projection reasons that you gave). Ironically enough, I might've let how much I intensely related to TOD lead to me dismissing that video like I did, but you get the idea. Either way this was a fantastic & creative way to follow up on that. Sooo do you know if Will's seen this yet?

[@Hepyrian]

Mark Berman I don’t. All I know is that matador has retweeted it and Ethan has liked my tweet about it, but I hope Will gets to see it

[@maalbe987]

Let's hope. Especially after getting pissed at Rolling Stone, he seems particularly standoffish with "media" type people this time around. Like when I covered their Amoeba show in February for a college assignment, I asked for a brief interview at the signing & they sent Andrew out. Which don't get me wrong was still incredibly awesome of them & he was great, but it might've been telling. That said, idk how much that extends to video essayists & it'd be nice to see some closure on your whole saga with him.

[@kidneyluke]

Hey I watched this video yesterday and I realized that I was struggling with similar themes as you were. I (mostly) ended up taking the album's warning on not idealizing relationships but the bit you did on performing to other people, taking a critical look at yourself and how Will Toledo was using art to do that really struck a chord with me, and helped me actually sort out my problems in a way that I don't think I would have wound up doing had I just kept listening to the same example on repeat. So thanks.

[@Hepyrian]

Very Professional Wow that seriously does mean a lot to hear. It means so much to know that something I’ve made has helped people.

[@gabrielkroger]

Huge work, very personal, and a lot more mature view and analysis! That was really good, thanks from France!

[@valenvergara8317]

Bro please don't stop doing this it's awesome

[@deathsexbloodbath3285]

Real good. The themes of the video match 'Face to Face' very well. Watching the first video and then this one straight away really made for an interesting watch.

[@Hepyrian]

Deathsex Bloodbath thanks!

[@Mr_Hilarious0]

I really hope I'll be ready to be face to face about my situations aswell someday

[@averyjohnson138]

This video gives me hope. I'm older than you were when you described what I'm pretty much going through right now, just replace the crush with complete sexual confusion. It just makes me think that one day I'll get out of it.

[@bradendunn8690]

Hey man, I really like the video! Thank you for making it, I related a lot to what you had to say

[@clippy2821]

This video was extremely well done. I'm impressed. Subscribed

[@Hepyrian]

Clippy thanks! I hope you enjoy what I put out in the future, whenever that will be (these videos take a while)

[@sethbayer18]

Can't wait to see car seat headrest again in St. Louis!

[@moritzbokelmann]

My dude, what an awesome video!

[@gavinharris4283]

Great video! I just gotta ask, since Monomania is sort of a follow up to Twin Fantasy, what’s your opinion on it and the songs on there?

[@jackdeubner3142]

this is my favorite hepyrian video.

[@edwardgermakovski5438]

I really needed this video. Thxs

[@sethhardy7280]

I Was the kid you just responded to on your other vid, AWESOME VIDEO BRO! Wow

[@Hepyrian]

Seth Hardy see I knew you’d come around, that old video is just not good

[@thc_freebaser]

I'll be blunt, I think a lot of the autobiographical elements and a good bit of the editing are unnecessary and distract from the overall points you make, but I think this was a very appropriate and mature retrospective. I think Will was definitely harsh with his choice of words admittedly but he also seems like a very critical person in general nor one to sugarcoat things. I can imagine though, watching someone pick at your entire adolescent life's blood sweat and tears like a sample on a petri dish is thoroughly frustrating. Great job of addressing this, you've earned a sub.

[@g3rmdies]

bro im not even finished watching the video and i already want to be your best friend

[@Hepyrian]

Scooter Computer appreciate it!

[@suman_b]

i have a feeling that i might be the only person who came here* searching for analysis of an actual headrest.

[@Hepyrian]

Oh my god hahahahaha

[@dementedferret6116]

Try to make these videos less rehearsed and speak more naturally, the message you are trying to give will come off more genuine. I love CSH.

[@user-ub8vx8zd1d]

holy fucking shit this video is amazing. great job

[@aidan8473]

I remember seeing the original video and really disliking it. This video is a lot better - self-reflective without projecting.

[@thefewerstream2467]

This is an amazing video

[@pablobarreda1118]

Well done mate

[@Hepyrian]

Pablo Barreda thanks!

[@mint3]

Thank you for this.

[@georgecataloni4720]

That's an interesting idea about why people like what music they like, but I think it begs the question: which came first, the music taste or the memories made? I sometimes wonder about this sort of thing. It's one of those things I can't introspect about, though, because I don't care for music at all, nor did I make music/memory associations.

[@Hepyrian]

George Cataloni I’m not sure, probably the music taste came first, I’d wager.

[@wasteghost]

Amazing video!!

[@okayweredonehere2159]

This is why I love the car seat headrest community because we’re all different but are minds are all the same we think like the same exact way like I swear everything he says in this video I’m like YES THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL like holy shit ! 😂😂

[@heysvintura8580]

Amazing video

[@Dani_London]

Sick video, thanks for sharing

[@Hepyrian]

Sanj 'Iroquois' Sahid thanks

[@floris1912]

I really really appreciate this video... :')

[@brycekaminski9735]

this is a great video

[@chavez9938]

Yo nice job, keep making videos.

[@weekapaugphil]

I'm currently dealing with fantasies of someone I like...a celebrity.

[@franciscoortuzar2975]

This video should have more views

[@_ruskie8853]

When I come back You'll still be here

[@SlippingKnot]

holy fuck. some of this hits too close to home. sober to death hurts to listen to still

[@Hepyrian]

themadcaplaugh I feel ya

[@strawberryjpeg6000]

i love love car seat headrest

[@dustycomputer1806]

12:00 president of simp nation

[@Hepyrian]

lol

[@darenfuzzy5292]

This question may seem far off from the subject of the video but I would be curious to know what inspired your editing, because it reminds me a lot of Its Such A Beautiful Day by Don Hertzfelt

[@Hepyrian]

That movie is definitely an inspiration, it’s one of my favorites. Along with that Guy Madden, generative code art, and projection mapping also inspire it

[@darenfuzzy5292]

@@Hepyrian I can’t say I’ve heard of anything from Guy Madden before but I’ll be sure to check him out. I’m really glad I stumbled upon this video, I feel in a sense its directly speaking to where I currently am in life, much like It’s Such A Beautiful Day and Twin Fantasy do, in their own aspects. Obviously we all interpret art differently, but it’s nice to find a perspective on a piece of art that’s deeply impacting my life right now, and having someone describe very similar interpretations of it that definitely can apply to my life. Thank you.

[@mayangreen]

Fucking great video

[@rogerpoulopez9256]

Did Will answer to this video?

[@Hepyrian]

Roger Pou López nope, but I hope he does at some point

[@rogerpoulopez9256]

He doesn't need to answer. It's a pretty good video and in it should be an answer for yourself. You should be proud of your work and not expect anything from anyone. That's something that i learned. I hope it helps you :) PD: i've been through depresion, anxiety, ADHD ... i know what your talking about.

[@Hepyrian]

Roger Pou López oh I know he doesn’t need to answer for my own validation or anything. Really it’s more of it would be cool if he did. It’s not super important to me

[@StacyCarnage]

Loved the video, although, I'm still a little confused as to what Will meant by "dense"

[@Hepyrian]

It'sKillian pretty sure he meant dense as in thick skulled or stupid

[@StacyCarnage]

Oh yeah of course but I'm confused as to why. I thought your video on Twin Fantasy and Denial was very well worded and constructed

[@henryfrith2671]

I hope Will sees this.

[@SEGAClownboss]

He blocked you? That's sad, it looked like you two were having good relations.

[@Hepyrian]

SEGAClownboss maybe now he’ll unblock me?

[@SEGAClownboss]

Ya can ask people to put in a good word for you. ;)

[@buyhercandyyy]

yay st. louis

[@user-gf1cx9sy1d]

why'd will block you?i don't think he's the type that can't take criticism or something like that.must be some other reason I suppose?

[@lunaps484]

at about 11:00, the effect would've been way stronger had you used Monomania's usage of that line aaaa

[@Hepyrian]

Inev ps Well that song’s lyrics are what specifically trigger those darkest memories, and so those are kinda the only lyrics that could be used. I appreciate the constructive criticism though!

[@vraisairs9201]

7:51 hey, don't diss a good shower lay down

[@Hepyrian]

Vraisairs if you’re laying down because you’re a sadboi, like I was, then you know it happens. But laying down to relax is the goods

[@WerbleWerb]

Did he ever unblock you? Does anyone know?

[@Hepyrian]

Wobble Wub yes, he did

[@salsaespacial]

The bit about your crush was very weird an creepy. I hope those photos and videos aren't from the real person.

[@Hepyrian]

No they're not of the real person, I just found some footage on the internet archive. It was kinda supposed to be a bit creepy because, well, it is

[@salsaespacial]

@@Hepyrian tou nailed the feeling then my dude. Great work

[@aarchy3141]

did will unblock you now?

[@Hepyrian]

Eventually yes!

[@aarchy3141]

@@Hepyrian good to know! What did he say?

[@thc_freebaser]

@@Hepyrian the good ending

[@thc_freebaser]

@@Hepyrian do you know if he saw this video and did it or if it was just coincidental

[@g3rmdies]

hey can u not relate me almost 100% anymore please