MIDLIFE: documenting my midlife taking care of my parents and my kids and everything else in between

[@KrisLab]

The internet needs this. I’m not in the mid part of life yet, but it’s so necessary that people are shown what it’s like to take care of family. This is generational, Biblical, love.

[@desireehouse]

Watching a parent with dementia struggle is hard. Our roles change. It often feels like you can never do enough, even if you give everything you have. I think it’s that way because we just want to take the dementia away and make them whole again and it’s the one thing that we can’t do. My mom died over a year ago. I haven’t regretted the time and energy I put into her well being. I couldn’t do the day to day care, but found her a great assisted living home that provided memory care. There’s no one right way to live this season of life. Glad you’re documenting yours.

[@CarlosWhittaker]

This is so important. mThank you for sharin.

[@ltlrookie73]

I’m so moved by this vlog. Yes. I’m 51 and my mother has terminal cancer and has been fighting her illness for many years. My step dad was her care taker and partner sadly passed away in 2016. My brothers, sister in law live nearby and help her when she needs assistance. It’s so hard to live far away. No one prepares you for this phase of life. Raising adult children. Taking care of of aging / ill parents. Enjoying our adult children. Empty nesting. Thank you. - I FEEL SEEN!! Prayers and love to your mom and dad. And family as you navigate this season. 🙏🏼🥰♥️

[@sonjalowe103]

I feel seen!❤ I have been taking care of my son for 9 years since his accident. Each day is the same but different depending on how well his brain is connecting. Some days, he is on and others very confused. Thank you for sharing.

[@fnwilborn]

My mother in law has dementia and have lived with us for six of our nine years of marriage. Most of the time it's no big problem, but my wife and I recently realized we had had no vacation for six years and how tired we are. 😢

[@latnprincess1]

I see a lot of my mom in your mom and the effort she was putting in to take care of my dad. It’s a lot and it wears on a caretaker. And finding the balance between independence and doing for them is so hard too. Especially because as time goes on they become more stubborn. 😢 there came a point we had to help her put my dad into bed every night - much to his fight! But he also couldn’t do it on his own as much as we wanted him to. He was too weak. Sending hugs to your mom as she navigates this. The nights are the hardest. 😢

[@hollybug99]

I'm 57 and I have definitely been in what my friend called the sandwich years since 2012......taking care of my own kids(family) and playing a big part in caring for my parents. Our youngest recently married so we are officially empty nesters, but I spend a lot of time and energy caring for my 94yr old Dad, helping him stay healthy and safe and be able to live on his own in his home. It's a blessing, but exhausting.

[@StacieSee]

Thank you for sharing. I hope you do continue. We moved my mom and stepdad in with us in 2016 with promise to care for them till the end no matter what that looks like. Mom died unexpectedly in 2022 and we are currently caring for my stepdad in our home while he's on hospice. Dementia is a thief and moment by moment is to be decided by all the changes it brings to his life and ours. I am also 51 and have teenagers, one of which graduates this year. I truly feel what you describe as the middle. It's bittersweet yet joy still abounds. Again, thank you.

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Joy abounds. Amen

[@valconley]

Having navigated a similar journey with my Mom, terminal cancer being the thief, it showed me that God does his most beautiful and gracious work in the middle. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed…❤ Thanks for inviting us in, sharing your precious family and showing us the beauty in the unedited middle. You are more relatable than you know, Carlos. 🧡

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Thanks ❤

[@lizgraham3135]

Thanks for sharing, Carlos. You and your family are seen and loved, too.

[@CarlosWhittaker]

❤❤❤

[@cynthialandry1052]

Thank you for sharing this. It means so much - my father also has dementia. ❤

[@lauraevelandswanson9955]

I love the relationship you have with your parents

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Thanks! I’m so grateful they are so close

[@joshsmama]

I’m a 53 year old woman, married, my husband is 54 and he is retiring next January because we need him at home. It’s the earliest he could take retirement at UPS, or he would do it now. We have a son who is disabled, he has Angelman Syndrome, and requires help with everything and is non ambulatory. We have a daughter who is 32 and married and we now have a 3 year old grandson, almost 4, and a 1 year old granddaughter, Carmen like your sweet mommy. My daughter has always helped with her brother as a caregiver and so she comes to my house with the grandkids 4 or 5 days a week. My husband takes 1 FMLA day a week to help me get our son to his appointments, doctor/therapist. Now my MIL is really struggling and needing us more and we just hope and pray she and our other parents can hang on until he retires in a year, because I cannot help them when I’m tied at my home with our son. When he retires we can take turns! My grandchildren are too young for me to leave my daughter with them and my son. It’s complicated but it’s our life and it’s full of joy and hard things. I love watching your videos of your parents so very much, thanks so much for sharing with us.

[@dianamedley3456]

Carlos, thank you for this! Your family is beautiful. I recently got off of insta (for the time being) and I must say I miss your updates and wisdom! Was so happy to see you post here and always here to support your podcast as well! ❤

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Thanks for being here!

[@taramcdonaldortiz4810]

You're dad is such a man of God It's so wonderful to hear him mention Him often Lord, hear the prayers for "Dad " 💙💙💙

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Amen.

[@WillowandPaisley]

I love this so much. This Gen X is here to stay!

[@tachacruz]

I am 37 years old and my parents are in their 60s. They divorced long ago and my mom is by herself now and I worry about her too. I just worry about her financially and being alone at home. My siblings and I are all there for her but it’s different. This hit home for sure. Thank you for sharing!

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Thanks for watching!

[@denisestepaniak4844]

Thank you for sharing. This is a challenging time in life which can make you feel very alone. You have such a beautiful family and I hope the answers come to you. I will keep you all in my prayers. 🙏

[@melaniesmalling5968]

46 and right here w you. MIL w dementia, 25 yo married daughter just had my first grandkids, we’re still raising high school and college aged sons and watching our recent college grad navigate life. It is so amazing and so uncool 😂

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Uncool dot com. lol

[@ritav793]

Your daughter is generous!

[@laurapodergois2802]

My friend calls this time of our life the sandwich generation. Our kids need support with our grandkids, and our parents need support with their lives and needs. It can be a lot, but it can also be full the most beautiful moments. Thanks for sharing yours.

[@CarlosWhittaker]

Thanks for being here...

[@adamaweber]

"I'm cleaning in here... right now."

[@sjbland2450]

lol your dad has got jokes 😂

[@meganjones1901]

This may seem silly but I wanted to say- when my boys were little they used to pee through diapers bc I didn’t have their penises pointed down. Maybe that’s why she is having trouble with him getting so wet at night time. 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it’ll be helpful. Thank you so much for sharing. Your family is a joy.

[@taramcdonaldortiz4810]

SHOCKING A MAN THAT CAN'T FIND HIS SHOES !!! I MARRIED TO ONE OF YOU ... EXCEPT, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU SAY "HEATHER, WHERE ARE MY SHOES?

[@CarlosWhittaker]

hahahahahahahahah

[@janetthornsberry7129]

I do feel seen, Carlos 🥹 In a similar situation with my Mom, who lives next door, as well 🙏❤️

[@CarlosWhittaker]

You got this…