Caroline Myss - The Rescuer (The Power of Archetypes)

[@mangopuddingdancetime5980]

I used to rescue people quite a bit until I realized I was actually harming them in the long run by holding the fact that I “helped” them over their head as a way to subtly guilt trip them into doing what I wanted. I didn’t care about the person, I just cared about what I wanted from them, and it was solely due to my rescuing that these people spiraled into chaos. Thankfully, I’ve learned the error of my ways. I’ve learned to respect the will of every human being. I’ve learned that no one is a project to be “fixed.” I’ve learned to detach and focus on my own life. Trust me on this one, guys; the person you’re perpetually having to rescue may be your victim, and you may not be the hero, but the villain in your own story. Don’t be a villain. Don’t create the need to rescue someone just to be the hero.

[@robinriebsomer4607]

For me the shadow side of the rescuer is the enabler. Someone who enables someone to remain sick, disabled, or to help an alcoholic keep drinking. Keeping people helpless can stem from fear of abandonment. If your sick disabled etc, you won't leave me.

[@blissfulbaboon]

Its our true nature to help each other but remain detached in the process

[@bravescarycat9430]

I’m 55 and got into trouble with my rescuing archetype. Fell in love with a 19 years younger man who lived 1800 km from me, he in Poland, me in Belgium. He is a severe alcoholic and 4 years I tried and did things for him, it costed me my energy, money, my time… Since August last year he is back in Belgium, homeless, hanging around in my town. I feel so much pity for him. Broke the relationship up last August but he asked to still be friends and that he needs me. He asked me to bring him to a job for strawberry picking with shelter included and so I did last Saturday but he’s already back and trying to reach me. I know I enabled it. I don’t value and love myself and respect myself enough but I’m getting stronger and seeing my patterns. When he is drunk and I don’t do what he asks, he says the meanest things to me. I’m drained and he is stalking me. When he is not drunk he is a caring, funny and intelligent guy. That’s what made it so hard

[@DagmarBaumunk]

I'm in a rescuer-rescuee co-dependent relationship and this is helping me to see both sides of the story and how I facilitate the other and how difficult it is to draw the line when a lot of different things/layers intersect... and yes, we are both traumatised children re-enacting patterns of need and rescue, forgetting that we are old and able enough to break these and by doing so empower ourselves and each other - where there is awareness and honesty there is possibility to grow thank you Caroline 🌷

[@staraura8883]

I’ve just had true realisation whilst watching this , in the past I’ve been guilty of doing too much for my children, and have to take a step back and let them choose their own paths and learn from their own mistakes, it’s time to let go to help them with their own journeys. Thankyou Caroline for your wisdom and truth 🙏❤️

[@MystiksViSioN]

About a week ago I saw the rescuer archetype activate again in my life. It was prevalent in my 20’s mostly… but within the week, I helped a man in a car wreck and a girl who fainted in front of me. Its being the calm in the Storm of others.

[@BookWorm2369]

That is definitely what it feels like- being that safe harbor from the storm for others. It's what we really need though. We need to be able to ask for help when necessary and accept help from others.

[@godswittness69]

Please rescue me........ 😢 lolz 😋😘

[@amherst88]

This has manifested in my life as feeling responsible to prevent 'catastrophes' before they occurred (or, more accurately, to prevent people from actually facing the consequences of their actions) -- fortunately, it's something I look at now in the rear view mirror (thanks, in part, to 20+ years exposure to your work, Caroline) ❤

[@nix1434]

I actually believed it was my duty to pre-empt others' needs for almost my entire life 😔 I am still working on clearing this programming. Thank you for this info!

[@ajjudge7983]

You are not alone, I can relate.

[@msjaf12345]

Decades ago I read and loved anatomy of the spirit and sacred archetypes- recently did your online light law love series- thanks so much for making your teachings available to all on KZbin. A real 💝 gift.

[@breakingthru]

Rescuers and addicts, alcoholics, gamblers is interesting the way they both do this dance together.

[@staciejean]

I just have to tell you that just hearing you tell about at that time, way back, you didn't know about the 'Wounded inner child' gave me such hope for myself. I could see how we all start somewhere. And it gave my heart such beautiful hope. Thank you for your vulnerability Carolyn!🥰

[@mariaornelas4939]

Oh my God . Your Ilustration about swimming Is great.. It took me back 7 month's ago ,when I break up ,with a power control freak. & just date this men ,4 & half month's.. & he use to say I'm here to help you,& protect you.. In fact He was decrising my life. His words ,didn't mach with his acts. He was using me Free meals Etc. & made my bills biger..there is more i can say.. ,but i got back to my power.. ,,but the thing is it afected me Energetically, since I break up. I'm still picking myself. I'm an Empath.

[@jennifercash9691]

Had a regular Chair Massage Client for years go through a midlife divorce. He complained about his remarried wife the entire weekly Massage. After a few years of this I finally advised, she’s moved on with her life and it’s time you do the same. Never saw him again. Learned my RescuerLesson the hard way.

[@lindaraereneau484]

It has been a struggle with my son, who has a couple of severe disabilities, knowing when to help and when to back off. I don't best to use discernment but it isn't always clear. Yet this has taught me to be very discerning to the best of my ability, to focus on me, too. The main challenge is that he wants to be independent and take advantage of dependence at the same time and it can get very tricky.

[@GoddessBlessYou]

You've got a challenging row to hoe. You're dealing with two primary questions here, and they can try to override each other. One is, "Will not doing this for him make me feel guilty now or in the future, especially if something happens and I lose him?" The other is, "Will doing this for him now help or hurt him in the future when I'm no longer there to do it for him?" Maybe you can find a way to consciously use these questions in your decision-making, increasing your own peace of mind.

[@sylviewalker7560]

Try the 30/70 theory...add massive help and support when 30% if task at hand is not getting completed. Then at 70% of mastery of task at hand slowly let self mastery blossom.

[@bethtucker5275]

Right there with you on this one

[@daniellerovira9966]

Some good thoughts! It’s also interesting to note that a lot of mental health practitioners have with this archetype for better or worse. Or any caretaking profession for that matter! It’s always so useful to sit with the intention of why we are drawn to helping others in any capacity. Thanks, Caroline! Loving the archetype videos.

[@annadiaconu868]

It’s interesting what you say , I’m a mental health practitioner and recently have been connecting with the rescuer Archetype. My mum is a Martyr archetype so is kind of been passed down . Got a lot of work to do I guess

[@lynnmcquillan2338]

Well done! Looking forward to the Wounded Child 🥰👍👍

[@kelowna9285]

Excellent delivery as always. I can't wait for the Wounded Inner Child 🙏💞

[@macoeur1122]

I love, love, LOVE this one! Perfect timing too! I believe my Mom could really benefit from this one right now. She is 88 years old...and truly could have benefitted so much more had she understood this dynamic from the first day of her adult life...but I want to think it's never too late!

[@sandraspidle5972]

This was such a big archetype for me, not always a successful act. I made a living out of settling disputes and then customer retention. The huge wake up call came and made me realize the empath vs the narcissist scenario. Thank you for putting this up, Caroline. Love all of your helpful classes. 🙏

[@beingchristabel]

V

[@Medietos]

Sandra Spidle, how did you settle disputes, in your work I presume , in what profession? And does customer retention mean you helped customers get back what they had had taken, stolen, deceived? How does one get help to settle disputes and get back what has /is been taken from one, please?

[@sandraspidle5972]

@@Medietos Hello again, Claudia. To answer your questions, yes, I put out fires and then retained the account for the industry I represented. The last was the most difficult, banking-credit card disputes. Money is always what people get the most upset about, I found. Have a great week.

[@dorischrysan1858]

​@@Medietos cc can cc c to mcc xxdxxxxxxx😮to 😮

[@rebeccaelle135]

Thank you! Excellent. This is fresh air to a stale problem. Thank you!

[@morgananewcombe6959]

I have been going through major depression for a long time and found your series on archetypes - I hugely identify with the Victim, Vampire and Saboteur and find it so hard not to focus on the negative connotations of them and feeling worthless as a result. Trying to find the more positive archetypes I have commonality with and I know in the past I was a rescuer but now I have become a rescuee

[@theravenmagick]

I find it is easiest to look at them as Wisdom keepers. Holding a neutral loving viewpoint. I did a podcast interview on how to do this too! You’re not alone and they do have positive sides 🤗

[@aratneerg3699]

Try buddhist meditation... it helps me. Don't give up on it either, really give it a strong go. It provides so much. Positive mental states become a refuge and the games no longer are the only option. Sure you'll still play them from time to time, but you will get better with time and effort.

[@morgananewcombe6959]

@TheRavenMagick and @AratNeerg thank you both for your replies. I am finally at the start now of implementing these kinds of changes with the dedication required to not give up... It has taken a long time, but I am ready

[@theravenmagick]

@@morgananewcombe6959 no problem...it's a Cup at a Time....and you're doing it. xx

[@KaldoniaKaldonia]

Omg!!! What an eye opening video!!! I’m more self aware than I’ve ever been…but this video drew out a side of me that I knew existed…but not the dark side 😢. I think I’ve been a parent who rescued her young children…now as young adults, they have trouble taking care of themselves. “When you know better you do better,” Maya Angelou…..I’ve been trying to model a healthier mom to my sons the past ten years. I lived in NH, too!!! Many blessings to you and thank you 🙏🏼 (adult adoptee, here….definitely have an inner wounded child - she’s finally healing!).

[@munix9351]

That's hard

[@staraura8883]

Me too! At the time I thought I was helping protect them etc… now they are older and I’m wiser myself I can now see where I’ve made mistakes.

[@bettinaalexander1971]

Caroline your words are so powerful and deep deep appreciation for your congruency and guidance ❤️❤️

[@JD-xd4sy]

As a social worker, I agree one hundred percent of this message!

[@deya8622]

Caroline Myss, thank you so much! You opened a new door for me, my heart is celebrating! Blessings

[@scherezadaexeni]

Rescuing is not a life style, beautiful and clear, thank you very much!

[@synappticuser7296]

Caroline, you have shared so many wonderfully empowering videos with us. Thank you. It's much appreciated.💐😊

[@joejackson6453]

Your presentations are of such great value, Thank you 🙏🏽

[@jennifersheldon4764]

The rescuer in me has allowed me to witness the power of grace many of times, while also getting me into trouble many of times. I am really good at flowing with grace and knowing when my role is finished. The energy just immediately cuts off and that's that time to go. However, the rescuer in me operates differently in a job setting. It is not that I offer help all over the place, but I do a lot of behind the scenes rescuing that inevitably leads to being asked for help more. Which still is not the issue, because as long as I am choosing to be somewhere working then of course I am going to do the best I can while I am there. The issue is when the energy cuts off and I know it is time to move on to a different job experience. The issue is with me. I find it incredibly hard to look at someone I am working for and say that, and usually they know this and know they can get me to stay longer. Why I give up my power in this way I am still figuring out. Financially I can live completely off my own business, but I still like small side jobs to interact with people. Otherwise, I would get too comfortable at home talking to my dogs lol. But I am going to have to do that until I can understand this pattern, because I refuse to drain my power and spirit through another cycle.

[@Medietos]

I have offered and evenpushe my help upon others, but without having the energy to and without them wanting it, not really wanting to get well, and getting increasingly obsessive-compulsive about it, from exhaustion, frustration from wasted efforts and time, fear and worry for their health and survival, forgetting about and neglecting my own health and need of help. I have ben hoping that being good and caring for others would make me worth caring for and assisting. Instead, it has all got worse, I have been taken and stolen what little I even had! And not even getting healthcare, much less the assistence+ needed and promised!

[@cyndeetaylor]

And here comes some great wisdom from a great teacher . . . Do not cast your pearls before swine! That is a lesson I can only teach myself.

[@susancazier8244]

Oh my, I just realized a situation that happened with an older friend a couple years ago was my wounded child reacting. Thank you for your wisdom.

[@jaymemiller9086]

Caroline, I LOVE this! I feel like I can breathe easier knowing how I interact with people is "my normal". This describes me to an absolute T!! Thank you for sharing your knowledge!!

[@maydanavabarnett5177]

Thanks, Carolyn, for this info that is helping me break negative patterns of wanting to save others and solve problems my way. I am learning to lean on God to control my attitude of gratitude and positivity, instead of worrying and getting sick by trying to take over His job. Thanks for helping me see how the negative side of the Rescuer hurts me and those around me.

[@barbykelly466]

Thanks, interesting . I resonate with the rescuer, helping too much sometimes and getting exhausted, my own choice. Interesting to learn about the shadow side: wanting to be rescued, yes, resonating. How do you come out of that shadow side? When a younger child asked me to do their homework, I explained that I've already been to school and learned those things, now it's your turn. She understood and enjoyed homework more since then.

[@Chipop267]

Thank you for this Archetype series - insightful and helpful!

[@juliettebarton2198]

thank you so so much

[@cyndeetaylor]

Thank you, Caroline. You always cut through the b.s. exactly when I need to hear it.

[@arielog1941]

Archetypes are fascinating and intriguing, potent symbolic stories and imagery. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Namaste

[@Patricia19618]

Thank you so much 🦋

[@BookWorm2369]

This is extremely relevant in my life. Thank you for this video, it has really put a lot into perspective for me and the way I relate to others. Lately, I have been focusing on asking for more from others and allowing myself to be on the receiving end of help. I think it makes a big difference when we learn how to let others help us so we learn what it feels like and what a healthy/appropriate amount of help really looks like. Then we have a better model to emulate when we have a genuine opportunity to be of assistance to others.

[@RaptorGirlkathy]

Thank you for teaching me more about the intentions & dynamics of the rescuer and rescuee, both of which I have been, at various points in my life. God Bless You!

[@josephinewhitmore4954]

Caroline thank you so much for all Your guidance with these archetypes. They are so helpful

[@lesleyM84]

This Series, Caroline, is SO profound.. I have learned so much.. absolutely incredible new information for me.. thank you truly 🎉🎉❤❤

[@reneeshaneetate]

I love this! Thank you for sharing. As a person who gets to support others through their life in therapy or other transformational spaces, being aware of my intention around who I’m working with is crucial to my own well-being and pulling myself back when I find I’m out of balance and doing more work. Checking how the lifeguard in me shows up with others. 💙✨🙏🏽

[@dr.keshavamurthy2785]

Thank you madam...

[@dawrightleo13]

I love you so much for this video Caroline. Thank you, thank you THANK YOU!

[@DaLeeza]

I would liked to hear more about the stages one goes through to cultivate this Archetype.

[@pcs1120]

Thank you!

[@tony7787]

I have the opposite of this, the Rescued. I have to constantly remind myself that no one's coming to save me and I'm capable. I refuse to be a victim.

[@CR-wb3en]

thank you for sharing

[@denisetropea5795]

Love this series thank you Caroline Myss been following for last 20 years much gratitude to you and your team ❤🙏🏻

[@soniareyes4425]

Thanks! Great clear distinction of the both sides of the Rescuer. Gave me peace over difficult decisions I have made…

[@joeyfarrell188]

Thank you Caroline ❤

[@3mindgame]

Another good one. Thanks

[@cfttify]

Thank you Caroline, so clear .

[@jillfortune1790]

These are fascinating and so enlightening . Thank you 😊.

[@marisemulkerrin5925]

Thanks 👍

[@mathemitroyade]

Thank you Caroline. Your sentences are very rich!

[@janewestbrook8364]

Thank you for your 21:03 wisdom ❤ which most often opens a new window to self awareness.❤️✨

[@catythatzall4now]

I love you thank you

[@denisesilvaart]

Looking forward to hearing about the healer vs the wounded healer. Is the wounded healer a rescuer?

[@rdldvm]

absolutely love this!!!!

[@mommaboombam3764]

Empaths rescue to help. Narcissists rescue to manipulate. Very sad.

[@jacobjorgenson9285]

Narcissists are wounded children

[@allanwalli2935]

@@jacobjorgenson9285 Who rage, pout, and deny And still can’t figure out why.

[@m17434]

This is HUGE! Thank you. More please.

[@michellenhlane5677]

Thank you Caroline 🙏

[@kathrynphillips3710]

I am absolutely Loving this series ❤ Thankyou Caroline ! ❤

[@davidleebrewer145]

This Honey is a lifestyle... so powerful

[@amandadavis8855]

Incredible sharing, thank you so much. Going through this exact dynamic in my life right now and it is just mind blowing what is happening

[@tinahalle3575]

How do you know when to give up on people ? Dealing with addiction and I’m not sure what else is going on but it’s he’s crossed the line as far as emotional verbal abuse on multiple occasions. He reminds me of that broken guy you talked about passing in one of your talks . The one with a lot of anger . He’s my little brother though . I feel like we’ve lost him down some deep dark hole . And he has so little awareness about himself it seems.

[@rdbeckett590]

Thank you so much 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️

[@travelchannel304]

Wow! I got measles at 22 yrs old! LOL. I need to be a rescue in my to-do list at home. LoL. My 22 yr old is not launching. Yet she has improved her reading on her own though. Now to get her to apply to a job or school.

[@michellepaino9650]

excellent Caroline thank you 💜

[@tadtop4170]

I really love your videos. Thank you for the information it's really helpful to me at this moment 😊

[@stephcre8]

This is always a good one, thank you for this! I really enjoy these series of archetypes, I'm curious about an observer archetype. Intentions are very important. Thank you of the clarity Caroline. 😊

[@catythatzall4now]

7:25 seconds This is where my father has me - I am in need of rescue from my rescue

[@catherinerowe9793]

Brilliant explanation

[@maryshirren4865]

Thank you ❤

[@EyesOnThais]

Excellent one!

[@misskaistar]

I've been waiting for this, thank you

[@brainfog307]

🙏thank you 💝🌞🌍☮️ I am an empath and this archetype come over very close to me until I became disabled and not many asked for help 🙏🌻 it’s a relief and bliss for me not to be responsible

[@Michelle0920]

❤ thank you

[@mannie2075]

Wonderful and I recognize it😂😅❤✨👌🙏☘️🌸🦋 Thank you so much and much love from Sweden ♥️🇸🇪🌍☘️🌸🦋✨♥️

[@maureendrennan9328]

Thank you. 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐✨

[@MyFinancialRescue]

Thank you for this lesson, Caroline... I have always wondered , what is the shadow side of a person who rescues animals? (Besides sinking deeper into debt)

[@bartendersdaughter6003]

We could have a worse compulsion. I’m right there with you.

[@Medietos]

Carol: I think it often has to do with inability or unwillingness to interact with human beings who are more complex, have an individual spirit to take into consideration. They have not got to develop their adultm real human being and been hurt in te past, and so have underdeveloped will-power for encoubnteeing and caringfor human beings, who have more complex needs and need deeper, also spiritual involvement. People are demonting our own spirit,, reducing ourselves to animals,not wanting to shoulder our own destiny of evolution, but to behave like the animals, who ae finished in evolving and are highly specialized where we have endless possibilities for development.Animals are easier to rescue, they don't have big destinies to fulfill. They are esy to exploit, to get love and joy from while having to give quite little (of real engagement) in return.Ppl talk about the brain today, but not about our (neglected) spirit. Children are given stuffed animals instead of humanoid dolls like before, and are face-painted animals.Greeting-cards have animals instead of humans, or mindless, trivial, degenerate, dishonorable cartoons.It is disturbing, sad and bad for the future. I was made homeless and moneyless years ago, and have not got help or a decent room/ lodging and healthcare as needed. Microwave radiation interferes with the vagal brain-heart.conection, and hinders people from loving and caring for the human being !Few know this, it is a great hazard as you'll understand. .

[@cyndeetaylor]

For me, the shadow side IS sinking deeper into debt. In my situation, I have had to realize that holding them and being with them through funny stuff, unexpected bonding, even death, is healing for my heart. I no longer think of myself a rescuer, but a companion.

[@GoddessBlessYou]

What if you changed the question? How about, "Is it possible my Higher Self drew me into rescuing animals in order to avoid slipping into the shadow side of rescuing?" When we rescue animals (unless we're doing it for show), we do it out of love, not out of expected gain, such as gratitude and adoration. As far as going into debt, some people stop giving from their own shallow pockets and learn how to do some fantastic fundraising, instead. Some people have more time, some have more money, few have both simultaneously, so working together is a win-win proposition.

[@MyFinancialRescue]

@@bartendersdaughter6003 ❤️

[@travelchannel304]

I think I fell into a rescuing space around a particular 1st Responder, yet I think I just needed skills to help Me manage my empathic "overload" . It doesn't normally happen to this level. My intention was NOT to handicap!! No! My table is open space for the client. Not me. So.think I need to improve my "spiritual skills " with my 3d skills. Bew level.

[@bassofone1]

I just love you!

[@cyndeetaylor]

I played into the role of rescuer (by birth) until it became ridiculous. For me that was the shadow, just saying. But as hard as I've struggled to walk away from that archetype, it still dogs me. These days, I'm trying to use that more internally. Rescue ME! That is a lot more challenging.

[@Alexandra-ch5jp]

This archetype is my mother ,that’s creates an codependence and an handicap for children and after in their lives…very very unhealthy ! Many years I analysis this character !

[@marzymarrz5172]

Thats why I admire parents who empower their kids with what appears to be tough love. But they have empowered kids.

[@Lifeofabordercollie]

I am the big sister and I am for everyone the big sister♥️ sometimes I need breaks like everyone

[@Lifeofabordercollie]

And note that you must rescue yourself first 🥇

[@jennifercuddy5252]

What archetype would the rescuee be if they were subject to overbearing rescuer acts their whole life, rendering them helpless , like the mother-son relationship you describe? The victim?

[@Alextangents]

In listening to our teacher I thought, “we don’t always understand by listening,” and it occurred to me to ask for suggestions of movies to watch that play out the archetype she’s teaching. So, any suggestions on movies with the rescuer archetype in mind?

[@cyndeetaylor]

"Cold Mountain" comes to mind. It taught me a lot about the different roles of healer and rescuer.

[@phoebesharp7808]

The musical or film of My Fair Lady is a classic example with Professor Higgins rescuing Eliza Doolittle, and feeling revoltingly smug about his success!

[@phoebesharp7808]

Misery, the adaptation of Steven King’s novel. Kathy Bates character is an extremely toxic ‘rescuer’!

[@bethtucker5275]

I'm wondering if maybe people are just wanting me to listen and not asking me to fix it or rescue and I automatically assume they do and instead of just listening I try to solve the problem when they didn't even want me to

[@ajjudge7983]

OMG this is me, historically.

[@karenkneisley288]

I was a damsel when I was 18-40 and then grew into a queen.

[@cyndeetaylor]

I just told my Pisces friend that same thing the other day, and she said "OMG, you get me!"

[@thethingofitis]

Yes! Our whole society is too dependent. I think that's why we're splitting apart now because for the first time we actually can but our system is still designed for the dependency which has made us unwell. Everyone should be able to be unwell for a time and not end up on the street for it otherwise we will never turn things around because that's just a part of life that's not really voluntary and nobody plans for it because we prefer to live life with our faculties. Unless it is a choice which some people still have legit reason for. In that case what can we learn from that and assist if possible without treating human beings like broken down machines that are useless if they aren't offering a use to the outside which is the way we usually survive- by selling our time or service. Well, I think that is about to go away which is a pretty big deal we are not even able to wrap our minds around but the previous ways are proving toxic so I think we don't really have a choice but to recognize our previous thinking is faulty or we have better easier healthier ways available we just need to figure out how that works so nobody is left behind because not being able to participate. Excellent work. I love this series.

[@lynnmcquillan2338]

Interesting 🤔👍

[@GoddessBlessYou]

Social workers tend to be the types who pull people around in the pool while making sure they never learn how to swim so they can go off on their own. And those of us who want to teach people how to swim and go off on their own are called cold, insensitive, uncaring, callous, selfish, and lacking in compassion and empathy.

[@franziskaringger7994]

What about viruses, bacteries and parasites in nature . . . . There shows up dependency and I think thats also a form of seen relationships today . . . .

[@cosmoscita]

Dark intentions were the reason my sister convinced our mother to leave my care to then move into her home for care. She proceeded to embezzle all of mother's money, max out all her credit cards and pawn all her jewelry.