Castle Super Beast Animated: Tony Hawk's Existential Nightmare

[@TonyHawk]

I play this game every day on advanced settings. Can confirm, it is equally frustrating as it is rewarding. Still haven't reached the boss battle though.

[@QuietViking]

I use cheat codes

[@gbrincks]

The idea of an existential nightmare having a boss battle is _very_ scary. Still, frustrating but rewarding is just the way a good life goes.

[@unversedhero6028]

That's rough buddy.

[@Griffin1171-love-you-all]

Welp, now Tony Hawk is commenting on Woolie's channel. Not like this year can get any weirder.

[@Verd254]

Legend.

[@popular_dollars]

cant believe they left out the best tweet from that collage. Tony's words: girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer.

[@JJJJJJJJJAAAAAA]

Bill Bailey: “Only *you* can answer that.

[@tiptaphooves]

I want some NPCs to comment shit like "Oh hey that guy kinda looks like Tony Hawk. I wonder what he's up to these days?"

[@AdrianArmbruster]

Possible loading screen tips for THEN: - How many rails have you grinded today? - Doctors estimate over 70,000 people per year are admited to hospitals with skateboarding-related injuries. but this isn't real, so why should you care? - You are still a good skater - Collateral damage can be justified, if the gain outweighs the cost. How much do you think this skateboard is worth? - Do you even remember when you signed that licensing agreement? Is Activision still giving you royalties?

[@AntanovOCEFGC]

Bro Spec Ops hit so hard I knew the exact lines your riffing on.

[@_ArmIa]

Do you feel like a Superman yet?

[@tbotalpha8133]

@@_ArmIa I fucking cracked up, holy shit

[@Blackheartzero]

The _"but this isn't real..."_ one sometimes glitches to instead say _"but _*_you're not_*_ real..."_ it happens sometimes, but just rare enough to make it so you don't notice.

[@burritowyrm6530]

‘Do you feel like a skater yet?’

[@SorryIBlackedOut]

I was hoping Eric Sparrow was gonna show up to let Tony know that “I will never be a memory.”

[@Hakkai181]

The whole game is one last chance, one last moment. One last 900 to save the soul of a promising new talent possesed by the pettiness, not his soul, just his pettiness, of Eric Sparrow. Who refuses to abandon this world until he gets his coveted victory and consume how little Tony's skater prowess has left just to destroy the timeline and create Eric's Sparrow Pro Skater series.

[@69Kazeshini]

@@Hakkai181 Eric sparrow: 'hello Tony it's almost time for the reunion'

[@mediaultra3178]

Tony and Eric were made up of the same Jenova DNA

[@EurobeatXIII]

(One Winged Skater starts playing)

[@SapphireCarbuncle009]

@@EurobeatXIII more like One Winged Sparrow

[@NurseValentineSG]

Make the song 50% slower and you get Tony Hawk's Existential Crisis' theme song: "So... here I am..." "Doing... everything I can..." "Hold on... to what... I am..." "Pretending... I'm a Superman..."

[@cyberninjazero5659]

Even better do that thing where they play it in minor key to make it sadder

[@Kinzokugia]

You know what, if it weren't for youtube compression, this half speed version would slap

[@cyberninjazero5659]

Holy shit I just listened to the lyrics it really does already fit

[@Abdega]

@@cyberninjazero5659 “I’m … getting … older all the time…”

[@GregPivo87]

@Lynchology101 "Sometimes... I want to... throw it all away..."

[@Tokkimaybe]

the irony that a game about a washed up Tony Hawk being called THEN is perfect

[@EggBastion]

Heck!

[@makeda6530]

*_[DON'T LET IT SET IN]_*

[@chesterstevens8870]

Tony may be a washed up old man. But he still picks himself up and carries on. He still perseveres, because He's the hero we need. Tony Hawk was the Mumen Rider of the 90's, He was the idol for all the kids who had no one else to look up to. There will never be another Tony Hawk, and that's as bleak a statement as I can make.

[@trash_bender420]

Is every pro athlete "washed up" once they inevitably get too old to be a pro athlete anymore? I think that's a pretty mean way to put it, he's just getting older dude. I think of washed up as meaning no one likes you anymore, or you're irrelevant, or people don't respect you. Tony hawk is always gonna be cool as fuck

[@InvaderKaz2008]

Tony, Rodney, Chad, all the warriors, fucking legends that are IRREPLACEABLE.

[@rosa9005]

Sigh, too dramatic

[@freedfg6694]

"Has anyone ever told you you look a lot like Tony Hawk?"

[@masterxl97]

I love the idea of a man’s entire psyche shattering by a ginger potato creature asking him “Why?”

[@GregPivo87]

Saint Pat stands at the Gates of Heaven as you die and approach the Kingdom. He asks what you've done to deserve Eternal Paradise. You list your plentiful achievements and philanthropic acts. And he asks, "But do they matter?" Then he pulls the lever and you plunge into the depths of Hell, and that's when it sets in.

[@grandarkfang_1482]

@@GregPivo87 i think it's scarier that Pat was able to get into Heaven.

[@ShardtheWolf]

@Chase Gillingham 15 (STUDENT) Except pat is real.

[@haseaopk]

The funniest part of this is that a 50+ year old man can outskate them and everyone here. Let me reiterate: A 50+ year old man is in better shape then all of us, and he's still got some left in him.

[@Cr3zant]

Not like skateboarding itself is exactly the peak of athleticism tho...

[@haseaopk]

@@Cr3zant No, but it isn't something you can do while unfit and uncoordinated at such a high level. Didn't say he was an Olympian, just that he's in good shape and has good balance, especially for his age. I also hear that skateboarding is a really good work out.

[@GregPivo87]

@@Cr3zant It's a lot harder to do when you're out of shape.

[@hypeshyte7011]

DiGi shut up fatty.

[@Appletank8]

Its riffing on the fact despite how well his name is known, nobody appears to know what he looks like, or even realize he's a real person.

[@night1952]

When Tony gets up you get a dolly zoom towards the skateboard and you have to The Sorrow your way over there, dodging Tony Hawk's demons.

[@JackgarPrime]

Until you get to the last level, and then every time you bail, Tony's injuries have caught up to him so much that it's not The Sorrow's river, it's the microwave hallway.

[@MrStath1986]

"Sad... So sad..." And the Sorrow is actually Bam.

[@SonicRyan1992]

@@MrStath1986 Out of shape, conspiracy theorist Bam. And then they both fight on top of the old Warehouse

[@BaneDane_JB]

Everyone is always asking "How is Tony Hawk?" But not enough people are asking "WHy is Tony Hawk?"

[@danieln6613]

From his twitter feed I'd have assumed everyone is asking Why is Tony Hawk

[@TheUnluckyEverydude]

Tony might be a washed up dad, but the man can still do a 900.

[@HKgaming86]

Yeah, I love Pat & Woolie, but them ripping on a basically retired professional athlete who made millions of dollars, honestly I wonder who's really having the existential nightmare

[@LieseFury]

@@HKgaming86 if pat ever gets arthritis we have to say "i think that old guy hurt himself trying to play video games"

[@EbonMaster]

Yeah the dude is a badass lol. Actual living legend.

[@Klefth]

@@HKgaming86 They're projecting a bit in an attempt to not let it set in. :/

[@siefer117]

They rip on him cause of the large amount of tweets he has made about people seeing him and at most saying "hey you're that skateboard guy".

[@andrescorma]

So here I am, doing everything I can, holding on to what I am...but, who am I really, what have I really done with my life...?

[@oxybe]

Those are the lyrics of the new Blink 182/Sum41/Offspring/GenericPopPunkWeHiredOnFiverrOrSoundcloud or whatever song that plays in the menu. So here I am, doing everything I can, holding on to what I am. but, who am I really, what have I really done with my life? So here I am, doing everything I can, holding on to what I am. A once blinding light, fading fast into obscurity tonight. Nah nah, nah nah-nah nah-nah nah nah-nah nah. it has one of those kinda ear-wormy beats, nothing too complicated but still peppy and energetic as long as you don't listen to the lyrics

[@fien111]

It's AMAZING how fitting the lyric to Superman are for Tony now. "What could I do more? Yeah, I'm really not sure. I know I'm running circles but I can't quit..."

[@andrescorma]

@@fien111 Dude, Im rapidly approaching 30 and every year this and Blink's Whats my age again? hit me harder.

[@Nightweaver1]

Damn it, beat me to it. Good one.

[@fien111]

@@andrescorma And you still act like you're in freshman year WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

[@grandarkfang_1482]

"Why, Tony?" *Joker theme starts playing*

[@Coswalker27]

Wait the joker has a theme? Since when?

[@grandarkfang_1482]

@@Coswalker27 the movie theme.

[@Coswalker27]

@@grandarkfang_1482 Oh

[@goodninji8]

It's literally just called Bathroom Dance. Great track.

[@WastedPotential17]

"We live in a half-pipe"

[@JamesQPurcell]

You fall off the board, and all sound drops away. Except for the muted bass line of Superman pounding in your ears like a heartbeat filling your entire world.

[@probablyfacetious2895]

Gotta have Tony's heartbeat and pained breathing, too.

[@emmetthatcher9583]

Getting older all the time. GETTING OLDER ALL THE TIME. G̷͝҉EŢŢ̵̡̀́͡IN̶̷̢̧G͝͞҉͏̀͏ ̷͟͏O͟͞҉L̴͏̷̛͢͢DE̵̸̷͜͠͠R̶͜͝͡ ҉̧͞҉A̡̡͟L̵̵̛̀̀L̛ ̕͏͏҉TḨ̸͢E̸̴̢͢͢͟ TI̸̕͟͢͜͞M̷̸̀͠E̶͏͘.̡̕͜҉̴̵ ̸̶̶̀͢͞

[@JamesQPurcell]

@@emmetthatcher9583 Perfect.

[@Chase14videos]

"But do they matter" Pat, that might be the darkest phrase to have ever left your mouth.

[@Meddadius]

EVER? Really? Are you sure, dude? Because that's a pretty stacked category.

[@Chase14videos]

@@Meddadius asking if someone's life's work mattered? Yeah it's pretty fucked up.

[@2la84me]

@@Chase14videos i think we can continue to break new grounds and achieve never before seen results of Pat saying fucked up things.

[@Meddadius]

@@Chase14videos @2la84me1 You know what? You're absolutely right. Somehow didn't think about it from either of those perspectives, my b

[@2la84me]

@@Meddadius Oh no youre totally good, you certainly dont owe me or anyone else an apology here. Pat saying fucked things IS a pretty stacked category. Im just saying.......we can go beyond of whats thought possible!!

[@shmoowho8119]

While walking over to your board you have to block insults from Jecht "You can't do it kid!" "You're out of your league" "I'm the best" "Gahahaha!"

[@Jluen1999]

It's the end of days. Humanity stands before the rest of the galaxy in judgement, to see if our insignificant planet is worth saving. Earth sends forth it's greatest champion to demonstrate our resolve. Tony Hawk Looks down the most epic half-pipe known to the galaxy and grins. Superman begins playing in the background Thus begins Humanity's trial

[@TheKnizzine]

Text scroll: Perform an 810,000 to save humanity....

[@screamingphoenix8113]

You must perform a 1 week long natas spin on top of Olympus Mon, revert to a manual across the clouds of the milky way, until you reach a sweet half pipe on Orion's belt, do a 7200 Christ air to Stiffy, than aerial drop into the big dipper, where youll end your combo with an invert lip on the throne of God himself. Do all this under the time limit, and youll get to play as Shrek ™️ in new game plus.

[@sterlingfelker6295]

The Man With The Skateboard streaks down the course. He does this because it is what he is. A Hawk must fly, and so he soars.

[@BigFingerRo]

To save humanity, you must impress God with a sick 15000 point combo. And then when you do it, he just goes "Heyyyyy, you ARE pretty cool! I guess I can go to your party!"

[@fearanger1]

yo honestly I'd be down for Tony skateboarding for Humanity. Man's a legend.

[@RisqueBisquet]

I love mid 00's punk rock, being retold slowly and sadly. "Do you have the time to listen to me whine? About.... nothing. And everything. All at once."

[@macrodesatire1108]

They DID IT! THEY DID THE LINE GUYS! Don't let it set in...

[@VerbalLearning]

10

[@tylergregoire1763]

THEN is lost to us for now. But it will return.

[@VerbalLearning]

THEN is something that either WAS or eventually becomes NOW.

[@thekidwhodraws]

The image of tony in the microwave hallway will never leave me. Tony had a hard life

[@tychoazrephet3794]

Woolie's idea for having you getting back to the skateboard after a wipeout be the Microwave Hallway is actually incredible. I can absolutely see THEN as a goofy fan project in a few years like the sequel to Shaq-Fu.

[@Znijik]

Eric Sparrow is also there, but he's given up. He works as an assistant manager at the grocery store and is able to provide a comfortable life for himself and his son that he gets to see every other week. Every time he sees Tony, they stop and reminisce about the good old days. When Tony reveals that he's still trying to find that glory he felt in the hey day of skating, Eric just shakes his head in pity and begs Tony to let it go. "Learn from my mistakes," he says. "You gotta know when it's time to move on. Stop living in the past." Tony was a born skater, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start listening to some washed up old man tell him to give up on the dream. Tony flips Eric the bird one last time before skating away. Eric sighs, and then a single tear runs down his cheek when he asks himself if it was all worth it, or if it was a mistake to leave skating behind. A line forms at the customer service desk as Eric has frozen, for he does not know the answer, and it fills him with fear and doubt about who he truly is.

[@UltimaKeyMaster]

And then the Underground PC goes up to him and pats him on the shoulder. They've set aside their childish differences long ago and became long-standing friends. Or maybe lovers if that's how your headcanon rolls. They just support him and go "I'll cover for you. Go follow him if you want."

[@parker469a]

So is this the script for Tony Hawk Pro Skater "Gaiden"? Like Charles Barkley's Shut and Jam Gaiden?

[@Blackheartzero]

... Okay, but still; Eric Sparrow was never a real Skater, or a real _PERSON_ for that matter. So is this scenario supposed to be Tony's perception of reality falling apart as he becomes a mere plaything of the Collective Unconscious?

[@zomg1337h4x]

Do you feel like a skater yet, Tony?

[@patrickr.1433]

This is all your fault.

[@KnightsDisillusion]

This was an amazing segment in the podcast. Happy to see it animated.

[@Abdega]

Getting older all the time, getting _older_ all the time! *BUT I’M YOUNGER IN MY MIND!*

[@zNoire]

I know I should be laughing about the birdman trying to do the 900 for his age even in the game, but let's consider this: the fact that Tony did it ever since it happened long ago and proved he can do The 900 again at 48 years old in 2016 speaks volumes for his skills and status as a legend.

[@SteelBallRun1890]

People think Tony Hawk lore isn't complex like KH. But I ask you this, who was the Custom Skater if not for the hero that will save Tony? Why did Tony create the Project 8 if not for battling Bam's 13 Skaters of Darkness. You people act like Sparrow isn't Xigbar/Braig/the one behind it all.

[@metaldragon8632]

But that’s the thing.... if we’re going by that logic, then who’s the MoM and the foretellers?

[@francescolombardi3438]

@@metaldragon8632 The Skater of Skaters

[@zigmus00A]

Eric fakes his death at the Skateboard Graveyard and lets Tony pass to face Bam. Tony and Little Woolz are transported to Scala Ad Caelum, Halfpipe to Heaven, for the final battle.

[@SteelBallRun1890]

@@zigmus00A Skateboard Graveyard is just a fan name. It's been confirmed for years that the last battle took place in the American Wasteland.

[@lv.2073]

This entire thread is *amazing*

[@doobiedancer1292]

Skateblade: Tony’s Sacrifice

[@VGHistory1]

That "Don't Let It Set In" sound effect got me LOL

[@theotherjared9824]

It's stressful to carry an entire industry on your back.

[@JozefLucifugeKorzeniowski]

I've read a thrasher once. Tony made fertile ground for a bunch of companies that really weren't in it for the right reasons but the industry will always exist. As long as there are landlocked teens living in a sea of parking lots. You're basically saying owata from Nintendo carried all of the video game industry.

[@ShadowRohanX]

Why? Because it's all he has left damn it.

[@prowlingmonkey]

When the song 'Superman' plays, it gets to the lyric "Growing older all the time" and just keeps repeating becoming more distorted and muffled.

[@antonaargh1268]

Max Hawke: extra Noir edition. "Collecting points had gotten old a few hundred falls back. I was already so far past the point of no return I couldn't even remember what my board looked like when I had passed it."

[@SaintofFables]

I just imagine Tony Hawk wandering the world like Simon from Gurren Lagann.

[@SeveralGhost]

Throughout the game we unravel the history of the Shred War, and all of the sacrifices Tony had to make along the way

[@gold_spin1639]

When you finally reach the board there should be a prompt. Get on the board [yes] or [no]? But when you try to select no, it turns into a yes and as you get on the board the camera pans back to show his family before turning forward again. as you push off towards that next combo you faintly hear “daddy come home” as the music comes back.

[@Griffykun]

This animated Pat makes me think of Shinchan for some reason.

[@WastedPotential17]

This animated Pat males me think of Shenron for some reason.

[@conked944]

Yeah don’t worry I’m sure we’ll get an episode with goblin Patrick dick and balls

[@jimmyrustles9807]

Weird fetish you've got there.

[@n00bstackz]

I wanna see his lil elephant

[@jakebooo1]

I mean, he pretty much is

[@ZanraiKid]

Tony Hawk Ops: The Grind

[@MarbleVirus]

The ending is Tony falling back to earth after saving us all, as the memory of him fades away from humanity's collective unconcious and he alights upon re-entry all he can whisper is: "This was it, wasn't it Bam. The promise I made to you."

[@Blackheartzero]

I like how your comment makes it so there's no chance of there being a "Sayonara, Tony Hawk the Birdman..." Moment, because his sacrifice retroactively erased his entire existence.

[@redrumshewrote7084]

5-26-2021 tony hawk was finally recognized by a nurse while in the waiting room of his wife’s neurologist. it’s finally over.

[@Blackheartzero]

Yes! Tony Hawk can finally be considered a real human!

[@Copefiend]

Tony Hawk's Existential Nightmare: A Hideo Kojima game

[@GregPivo87]

Tony Hawk could be the name of a Metal Gear Solid boss.

[@Harril8265]

@@GregPivo87 He was a cut FOXHOUND member.

[@JackgarPrime]

I mean depending on how you play it, that's basically Death Stranding already.

[@6powersofM]

Don't let it set in

[@juniorjunior5884]

Why is the most piercing question for Tony. He's been reviving himself for so long, he doesn't even know if it's worth it anymore.

[@StrawberryMooosic]

I'm 100% cool with the concept of a microwave hallway every time you bail

[@Protantical]

I 100% believe that Tony Hawk defeated the apocalypse in a skate-off with some gnarly twists and 900s to obtain the title "Big Birdman", but as a result of his noble sacrifice, everyone in the world is slowly forgetting the hero who saved us all.

[@juniorjunior5884]

And to make it worse, we have to forget. If we remember, then the Old Skate god will return with his army. Tony would have to save the day again and he might fail the next time.

[@marquis533]

So here i am getting older all the time, getting older all the time,(music creeply slows down) getting older all the tiiiime

[@lifeiscrap103]

These animations are only getting better. I love them!

[@mathewwilson3476]

"Are you really Tony Hawk? 'Cause I'm pretty sure he's just a game character!"

[@TachiFrypan]

0:14 LOL! Damn I need to start following Tony Hawk, this stuff is gold!

[@dnbasstep1]

When man reaches his lowest point all there is left is superman

[@yoindianbro]

QuietV coming in with that Ska! I see you dude

[@arthurgomes5188]

Instead of having a soundtrack of pop and punk music like the older games the new Tony Hawk game soundtrack is going to be mostly Jonny Cash and Simple Plan songs

[@ArcRay20]

it is an amazing coincidence that the most remembered song from the first Tony Hawk game, thats its opening lyrics, perfectly fit what the Hawk man himself is going through with his existential crisis.

[@Stunnacrew87]

the 'DON'T LET IT SET IN - 10 PTS' gag was fucking genius lmaooooo

[@ajver19]

The ska kicking in at the end never fails to reduce me to tears from laughing so hard

[@lnfreeman]

Omg reading through Tony Hanks tweets killed me. I almost didn't actually watch the video

[@profeseurchemical]

still cant believe that noone has made an edit of goldfinger's superman where the only line is getting older all the time

[@jeremiah5511]

This episode, and this animation puts me in tears. In tears. Every time.

[@bmmbooshoot]

this is still one of my favorite "podcast" animated from any show i've ever listened to. the "don't let it set in" and achievement killed me

[@CritScratch]

An NPC questioning why you have a goal is like an anti quest giver

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

2:17 Tony’s microwave hallway

[@bricescott7152]

Yes! I was hoping to see fan videos of this.

[@MySPIDERBAT]

This fucking rules the editing and the timing

[@TheTsugnawmi2010]

This melancholic combination the Microwave hallway from MGS4 and the inner monologue options of Heavy Rain circling his head

[@conelybiscuit4985]

MISSION OBJECTIVES: collect S K A T E and also confront the pain of failing to save your family

[@wohdinhel]

Tony Hawk’s Existential Nightmare exists as a real (fan) game now.

[@WeaponOfMyDestructio]

So can we get Tony hawk as Griffith so you can become the true whitehawk.

[@NEEDbacon]

The greatest thing would be if putting on a sim mode cheat would cause the music to stop and voice constantly questioning and warning you. The THEN Experience

[@crushersbutlessedgynow]

The final level is straight up just lone wolf from halo reach, it's endless, it only ends when you fail a trick, and you have to choose to

[@IrfanFakhrianto]

Pat confirmed an NPC

[@He11Jumper]

I mean, Pat is really a NPC to literally everyone else except Pat. in fact, everyone who existed ever is a NPC to everyone else except themselves

[@zigmus00A]

Pat is a self aware NPC trying to escape the confines of his own existence

[@flipsilog_Gaming]

I hope they make more of this.. There's so many good segments in the podcasts.

[@randomatorPHD]

The beauty is that the lyrics to Goldfinger's "Superman" would fit perfectly given this new context.

[@GohanEgret]

absolute perfection

[@jams8015]

so here I am looking older all the time growing older all the time feeling younger in my mind

[@STALKER953]

Game of the Year. Every year.

[@mortified0]

Tony Hawk's Microwave Hallway Scene

[@SinnerBeta]

I feel like he should've been wearing a Punished Snake costume, anybody else?

[@jakebooo1]

This is the world’s second strand type game

[@konakona271]

I was hoping this segment would get animated and boy howdy was it worth the wait!

[@cyvonix]

these literally keep getting better

[@XxNin10dohgamerxX]

Gotta get to the skateboard before it sets in tony

[@Weazel1]

I lost it watching Tony slooooowly tumble over the rail

[@Tikiville]

The fact he torched the rest of his names on NFTs makes this better.

[@KingofdaNerds]

This is perfect example of why you should have a Plan B for life.

[@murlocmaster6192]

SKATE OR DIE!!!

[@MrIronWar]

He should have never sent Sparrow to the moon, this is his fate now.

[@1Diddums]

"Why Tony?" This kills the Pig.

[@RepublicOfUs]

Hearing Tony Hawk being referred to as "washed-up" is mildly infuriating. Dude's still actually amazing.

[@smward87]

It's Pat and Woolie though. Their whole careers are about being bitter and wrong about everything. It...kind of gets old really.

[@Ilovevidgames123]

I don't think they actually regard Tony Hawk as "washed-up". I think it's just a bit.

[@matthewcoyle4131]

Why did getting back to his board have the same energy as some horrible Metal Gear event like fighting the Sorrow or walking through the microwave room?

[@sonofcrystalpepsi1426]

♪ Back in the Oughties, I was in a couple famous Skating Games ... (doo-doo) I'm Tony Hawk, man; don't tell me that you only know my name ... (dun-dun-dun-dun) I'm grinding hard to hold on to my past, my Board is wobbling, don't think I'm gonna last, I guess I'll keep doing, 900s if I can, to show that I'm more Bird than man, or maybe I'm more man than Bird. (Bird-Man!)♪

[@kovulion7777]

This makes Bojack Horseman look like the Simpsons

[@W3r3gam3r]

He's the only celebrity I know of that people know exists, but can't tell when he's right in front of them.

[@jetteyes2064]

This would be the saddest most real game ever.

[@kempodragon22]

This is my favorite one, for sure. Incredible.

[@segara04]

Ohhh I needed this.

[@yusefdoodie]

I have a feeling this is the one that will go viral.