Celeste Might've Changed my Life.

[@shalaskaja452]

That Game woke me up to the cruel fact that I suck at 2D platformers

[@prcvl]

I still like that it doesn't punish you for dying

[@shalaskaja452]

@@prcvl and it’s still the best platformer I’ve ever played even tho I sometimes became exasperated with it

[@Jona69]

@@prcvl Unless you want the golden berries lol.

[@Ebani]

Lmao

[@nickharris5231]

I think it's the perfect game to help you get past that. You restart so instantly after dying it really helps you puzzle out through repetition. You're supposed to die and retry constantly, which means there's no way you won't eventually triumph over tough screens.

[@diamondpython8034]

Something I never noticed in the ending cutscene - Badeline’s still carrying her pack. As a sort of allegory, Madeline puts down her pack just before Chapter 7, to represent that, while she hasn’t gotten rid of all her issues, she’s putting them down for now to finish climbing this mountain. However, when Badeline separates, she’s still carrying her issues, kind of like she’s carrying them for Madeline. Neat little detail!

[@AstorEzequiel]

I always assumed it was just a small error in detail. But I like that idea more!

[@thestoneyone06]

@@AstorEzequiel I considered it as Madeline thinking that, my bag is not gonna be useful so I’m not using

[@terpsidance.]

@@AstorEzequiel "No man, some crew guy just left his coffee cup on the counter" -Bojack Horseman

[@avery-jw9vc]

Maybe it’s a symbol foreshadowing chapter 8 and farewell

[@CyberCat3O]

"Emotional Baggage"

[@owlgoddess8534]

when people say "celeste mightve changed my life" its either about mental health or gender and before starting this video i genuinely couldnt tell which one it was gonna be

[@jessbian3385]

Immediately upon seeing the title, I said “90% chance this person is trans”

[@owlgoddess8534]

@@deathpallie are you ok

[@Grgrqr]

@@jessbian3385 profile picture

[@yukisetsuna1325]

nice pfp

[@michaelwerkov3438]

@@RabbiHerschel cute an actual anti trans anti semite

[@ConnorEatsPants]

Beautiful video.

[@harbingeroftragedy]

Agreed

[@KatM26]

absolutely

[@AshArtzMusic]

Yeah, definitely one of the better pieces of content on youtube

[@Devon14]

Surprised to see you here conar

[@jujt2258]

It’s so well made, the video is as personal as the person behind it

[@rowanatkinson3594]

90% of me: "What a wonderful story, it's fantastic to hear someone who got so much out of this game that I love; even if we are clearly very different people it's cool that this game both got us out of our worst instincts and was a force for good in both our lives." 10% of me: "How dare you ignore those strawberries I'll fight you"

There's a special ending for a no strawberry run, I think.

[@SpeedcoreDancecore]

@ If you get less than 20 strawberries they say your strawberry tart sucks during the ending cutscene

[@christianemazzola5863]

@@SpeedcoreDancecoreI thought Madeline was just bad at baking when I got that ending apparently I just suck at platformers

[@Runninglizards]

@@SpeedcoreDancecorereally? I got more than 20 and they still said it sucked? Maybe it’s 30 although I think I had more than that two

[@illegallynamed]

@@Runninglizards Did they say "Strawberry pies are supposed to have strawberries in them", or did it suck slightly less than that

[@verycool3669]

"High school main character syndrome" should be an actual term

[@Charlieandp]

Chuunibyou is what they call it in Japanese. “eighth grader disorder” lmao

[@Jobkruijer]

Cognitive egocentrism

[@lslime1545]

@@Charlieandp it is exactly the same in Chinese

[@ulengrau6357]

I think there was this guy... Frod... Froyd... Froyo... something like that, and he had like, a whole system showing the stages of psychological human development... and there was something in there called like... Ed or Edd or Eddddd? .... I forget. But anyway, a bunch of people were like "No! Frodo! No more of your system!" And so they renamed all the stuff he wrote and called it something else, and some other ppl were like "Fuck the patriarchy! We're renaming it again!" And so they renamed all the stuff again... and this happened about three times. And now we're here, calling this "high school main character syndrome" instead of just arrested development of the Ego and Superego... because, well, you can't learn social norms from the bedroom and behind your phone, that's for sure.

[@hatanohifumi4645]

@@ulengrau6357 sigmund freud

[@sushiinyourface293]

From someone who is going through a tough struggle in HS right now, thank you. You described some of my problems in a greater detail than I really even could before this. It seems weird, but thank you for helping me better understand what’s going on in my life

[@jorgesequeira8042]

Yeah felt that too much aswell man i am 2 min in and had to stop the video lol i love this channel

[@safety_doggo2]

Same, I hope you're doing better.

[@ConnorN22]

I feel what you are saying. This is exactly how I feel right now, and i need to get out of the headspace, though it is really hard.

[@19XD88]

I think all relevant was said before... Btw. I'm also struggeling with the same Problems at this time

[@angrywolfjr7164]

hey, same guys same, good thing i am, actually we, are watching videos like this they make us feel less alone and actually guide us to a better life, rather than just shoving a toxic positivity down our throats

[@angel__king]

There was a really good quote from RWBY that basically said “if you look back on the past and feel that you messed up or are embarrassed that just shows how much you’ve grown”

[@ballsticseal]

Damn didn't expect rwby to be deep

[@angel__king]

@@ballsticseal well I mean it’s immediately followed by “You know Ren decides to be pretty deep when he decides to talk” so It’s not exactly subtle lol

[@Amutsuri]

I remember hearing this quote, and the amount of times I've repeated it is too much.

[@ollllj]

@@ballsticseal RWBY is not, never was, and never will be deep. it is a shallow superfluous UN-ORIGINAL copycat patchwork of Avatar, cowboyBebop, bleach, naruto, and all the sexist animes, motivated by being a garry-stew, focussed on action scenes without any stakes, due to null consistent characters in it. It is actually ironically funny for being a layman patchwork fan-fiction, if it where not so superfluous. I am not saying sonic-fanart-furry-porn has no place in this world, but RWBY is worse for teasing you with potential, for being more meaningfull than sonic-fanart-furry-porn, but that potential is barely ever realized. It never will be deep, because it is made by x-box fans, for x-box fans, and it fails to understand core basics of what it copies/parodies, besides its superfluous primal instincts. The design of Sonic works and is famous, because it americanizes DragonBall, with the core "what matters is the friends we made along the way" morale, but sonic makes it even easier to draw fan-art of sonic. and this attracts a lot amateur artists (every kid starts somewhere). RWBY does not go much above the style-centered approach of sonic/dragonballs, focused only on style and fast (paced) action, with next to no CONSISTENT characterization, besides "i like books or chilly-dogs or guns or gottaCollectEmAll". You can still enjoy the action scenes, music, and soft (gun) porn and nice motionCapture of it, as those parts mostly stand on their own (due to lack of consistent characterization). SimonTheSorcherer did grimTales with subversive immature humor much better than RWBY.

[@gnomechewer1351]

@@ollllj thanks for the giggle bud.

[@highestsettings]

Celeste made me realise that depression and anxiety were like scared personalities in my head. They're a part of me, but they're not me, and for how shitty they make me feel sometimes they come from a place of caring. Anxiety is like a carer that wants for you to not get hurt ever, and depression is almost like your inner critic that wants things to be better and so points out what is wrong. But here's the thing, a lot of the time _they're wrong._ So you need to treat them as other entities separate from yourself, and listen to those thoughts that appear, but reason with them logically. Is the thought valid? If it is can you and (more importantly) _do you want to_ do anything about it? If the thought is wrong or is coming from the wrong perspective (since depression and anxiety are incredibly dramatic they can be lead down rabbit holes of negativity), then you can stop worrying about it. The hard part is learning when the thoughts should be listened to, and when they shouldn't. It was all from that section where you drop in the chasm into the mountain and you meet your shadow. They had a conversation like "why are you like this?" "it's only because I don't want you to get hurt" "but I want to live my life" "let's work together then" or something like that. It was profound in my eyes, the connection between depression and anxiety with the Jungian shadow is one that I'd never thought of before. Like I thought of the shadow as simply the emotions that lead to the capacity to be evil towards others, but it's not just towards others, you can be evil to yourself too. The emotions that lead to that aren't inherently bad, anger should be directed towards injustice, sadness towards what could be better, jealousy to make us work harder for what we want, shame for lessons to be learned, and so on. Negative thoughts and emotions ideally should lead to positive action. That's what it means to integrate the shadow. But I didn't extend it to myself, I thought of it purely in terms of emotions towards others, but you can do it to yourself too, and that very line of thinking helped me immeasurably when dealing with my depression and anxiety. They're not meant to go away, they're meant to be harnessed. The mountain as a symbol for mental health was amazing too. A challenge to be overcome, and once you do, you're powerful because by the end you've built up a set of tools to overcome obstacles. Also those controls are fucking TIGHT dude, I love that the game is at times immensely difficult, but it controls so good and you don't lose much progress when you die. I'd do the same jumps hundreds of times at some sections and I never got frustrated or bored. This is one of my all time favourite games.

[@zkassai.audio.2]

I’d like to add something - by the end, you’re not quite powerful in the traditional sense: you’re resourceful. Every time you start to master one mechanic, the game gives you another one that you’re completely unfamiliar with. One that requires you to think in completely unfamiliar ways, and sometimes even one where habits acquired from previous mechanics are actively harmful if you just repeat them without thinking. The only part where the game really made me feel traditionally powerful rather than skillful was when you integrate with Badeline and get the second dash - and it’s fitting that it should be like that. Madeline has accepted herself: she feels twice as free to control. And yet it’s some of the most challenging level design in the main campaign. The game compounds that one simple upgrade with all the skills you’ve build, but I think what really made me breeze through the last climb was... the euphoria. I was sharing in Madeline’s newfound sense of freedom, and I didn’t really stop to feel intimidated by how incredibly difficult each new screen was. I wonder if that’s how life feels when you get to that point, and I’m excited for the day when we all find out

[@highestsettings]

@@zkassai.audio.2 You're right, resourceful is a more apt word to use. I think of power metaphorically I suppose. Rather than simply force or strength or something like that, I think of a powerful person as someone who can get shit done. That cloud section where you're flying through the air? Its fantastic. That's my favourite part of the metaphor and the game. You've let go of all your shit and now that you're not held back by yourself, you can do so much more. The way the mechanics and story are linked is something I didnt think possible in a platformer game. It's the only platformer that I consider to be on the level of Mario or DKC in terms of gameplay too. So its kind of a cut above those games for me (which is really saying something, those were my first games on my first console and I love them immeasurably). To me story and context make all the difference to a game. I think it might be time to replay this game, 3 years is enough time for it to be fresh for me again. Although I still remember it all so vividly.

[@siddsen95]

Beautiful comment man. On an equally beautiful video. I had to screen-cap your little monograph here... It's profound and uplifting, yes. But written with a sense of some true love. Love for the game, towards yourself and, dare I say it, towards life itself. Sending some love back to you, mate. Thanks for sharing what you did. Wishing you kind forays, stranger. Thank you.

[@ethantypeshi]

+++ , appreciate this thoughtful comment

[@jellycore1316]

Thank you for this comment ^^

[@skeefskits1713]

Really thought provoking video lead. Definently made me think about my life comparing it to what you said. Another masterpiece as always

[@thebaguettebandit4489]

it came out 2 hours ago and your comment was posted 6 days ago wtf

[@skeefskits1713]

@@thebaguettebandit4489 I’m part of his patreon, so I get early access to his videos a week ahead

[@lauchlindeer]

@@skeefskits1713 her*

[@thalmorshoota7586]

@@lauchlindeer what?

[@lauchlindeer]

@@thalmorshoota7586 leadhead uses she/her

[@SLKibara]

Celeste was an egg-breaker for me. I'm glad to see you make a video of this.

[@f-kiska9079]

egg moment

[@voxel9470]

For me it was serial experiments lain

[@azrael_hypo]

having not seen the update video where Leadhead announced that she was trans, i was expecting her to say that Celeste had broken her egg, as it has for so many others. i was confused that the way in which Celeste had changed anyone's life could not be related to breaking someone's egg, but then i saw someone mention that she had come out in a previous video, and now it makes mores sense

[@f-kiska9079]

@@azrael_hypo Wait, she is trans? Cool, another trans in my collection of subscribed youtubers (Sadly, i cant subscribe to my channel to complete the list) Also, Madeline is canonically trans so yeah

[@azrael_hypo]

@@f-kiska9079 making the game broke the dev's egg also, if you want to know about a smaller trans creator, Connor Shaw is a great enby KZbinr who does video essay content, although they're currently not uploading super regularly due to mental health stuff

[@wileecoyotegenius5955]

This hits home. "Comfortable but miserable" kind of describes the entirety of my teenage years. Things are better now, but it's always a struggle. Games like Celeste make it better though. Excellent video.

[@thesnazzmaster]

Watching this while procrastinating on a presentation is the peak of irony

[@bluesillybeard]

yes, and i'm doing the exact same

[@dadalikalama]

yo I'm joining the team

[@_naritanara]

Add me to the list!

[@Y-0-AN]

Same

[@blanketpineapple]

honestly, Celeste is such an incredible game. I adore it.

[@sethwhite4155]

I have 400+ hours in it 😅

[@ptato3010]

@@sethwhite4155 Speedrunner or just trying to beat golden 7B?

[@sethwhite4155]

@@ptato3010 haha good luck playing chapter 9 :) but ya, speedrunning and tasing

[@ptato3010]

@@sethwhite4155 ohhh tasing! Tasing is probably one of the coolest parts about celeste, that and map making

[@Thonato420]

yall should try pizza tower, it goes harder

[@JAGtheTrekkieGEMINI1701]

Celeste is *NOT* about "changing your whole Life for the better" but rather "coming to Terms with yourself" and take on your *greatest Fears* straight on! When I got this "Climb the Mountain Allegory" I nearly freaked out... I was an eye opening moment!

[@Scooty_]

I understand that this is a very serious video but “badeline” made me laugh a ton

[@YourAverageSpelunker]

That's her name

[@Cruxin]

It's not quite canon, but it is the official nickname. It is somewhat amusing the first time though it's

[@YourAverageSpelunker]

@@Cruxin in the official discord the emotes of her have badeline as their name

[@Cruxin]

@@YourAverageSpelunker it's also in the code, steam trading cards and marketing. while never in the game it is universally accepted

[@YourAverageSpelunker]

@@Cruxin yeah

[@Vexiad]

I totally know where you're coming from, it's like i can relate to almost everything you just said really. Celeste really changed my whole way of thinking about my relationship with my mental health. Most importantly i think for me to understand was that this other part of yourself, those habits, coping mechanisms, negative self talk, all of that, its trying to keep itself, you, safe. It, that is to say you, learned at some point through whatever experiences that you need to do these things for whatever reason to keep yourself safe from something, failure, pain whatever. It's that moment with madeline hugging badeline that really gets me tearing up when i see it, because i can so strongly relate to that in the way of reassuring that side of me that its ok, we dont need to use those habits that might have protected us in the past, we are stronger, we can grow, we can succeed as cheesy as it sounds. And of course you slip up, it's ok, just like they said in the end, if you're working with yourself and moving forwards thats amazing and you'll be on the path to being your own best friend, it just takes time, care and awareness of yourself and what got you here and why you do the things you do. It really is a special game, i'm sure we can both there someday, It sounds like you're already doing great and you should be proud too.

[@CatwithFancyHat]

Can really empathize with your comment. I haven't played Celeste, but reading all these comments makes me wanna give it a shot. I think the hardest part for me is understanding why I do the things I do. I have OCD, so basically the mountain peak of habits and coping mechanisms that will force you into submission at least 10 times a day, and that caused me to basically isolate myself from the world for the longest time. I just don't have a clue why I do it. Imagine this shit just starts randomly and you have no idea why, and it makes you suffer through your whole teenage life, until you're an adult, and even though it got better over time, the damage has been done and will never disappear. I just wanna know why. But then again, maybe I (and we all) should focus on what we achieved so far, and not feel bad if we relapse or don't make progress, maybe it all comes with time. But I don't know if mindlessly marching on without knowing why is the best option.

[@vVictorNos]

love this comment.

[@ashtar3876]

how does negative self talk just after i did a bad thing keep me safe? i'm guessing because it keeps me safe from having to learn from my mistake because "i'm worthless anyways"

[@Leadhead]

Hey guys! If you wanna join in on some games, and get involved with this cool community, you can join my discord at discord.gg/PVvXESU7WU As long as I'm throwing out links, I've got new merch that you can pick up at leadheadshop.com/ plus you can support me over on Patreon if you wanna show some more love. www.patreon.com/leadhead

[@sheepish6254]

“I was miserable before, but at least I was comfortable” damn, that’s some good writing.

[@JetBazooka21]

I love how thought provoking Celeste is

[@Nick-wg4bf]

i will have you

[@TheRenaSystem]

9:34 Top tier foreshadowing - great vid as always Penelope!

[@liliana.6053]

Oh I was about to comment on that part, if she really understands why people change genders then she's actually trans lol

[@Ellie_2810]

holy shit

[@cedaria]

nice pfp

[@artemis_smith]

I first saw this video when it was new. when i heard that line i thought she meant the opposite of what she meant lmao. Two years later and it's like "oh that's not transphobic that's just her talking about her transition"

[@TomiThemself]

@@cedariaLiterally an anarcho-communist flag lol But agree, it's a nice pfp

[@fawnkitten9779]

"Celeste Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life.

[@diffdimgamerseven9986]

" 'Celeste Might've Changed my Life' Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life

[@TomiThemself]

" " 'Celeste Might've Changed my Life' Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life

[@EmmaHopman]

" " " 'Celeste Might've Changed my Life' Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life

[@mr.shplorb662]

" " " " 'Celeste Might've Changed my Life' Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life

[@ghurcbghurcb]

You know what I find interesting? Chapter 7 isn't the last one. The last chapter is Farewell. While seventh chapter ends on a high note, the ninth chapter starts rather grimly. The old lady is dead and Madeline blames herself for not saying goodbye properly. She is in denial and Badeline doesn't want to help her. Madeline relapsed. The ending of Farewell is comforting, but realistic. Ascending the mountain wasn't the end, because there is no happy end in life. There will always be struggle and there will always be something else to accomplish. Stories like this one tend to end at the highest point, when the main character is finally truly happy. But there is always a day after this. And the next one. And one more. A week. A month. A year. A point of time, when this great achievement is far behind and impermanence of that once found happiness is obvious. Celeste shows it very clearly.

[@hamboid4998]

I've always interpreted celeste in the most simplistic way, that running from your fears makes them stronger. I first started playing the game when i was 13 in 8th grade and now that im older, im starting to see the finer details in art and this video is an example of this. Thank you so much for your thoughts on the game, i was always puzzled on a "deeper meaning" to the game and im happy to see someone try to figure it out/explain.

[@YellowEllo]

I love watching people discover infinite dashing in water. Never really super helpful but it always feels so fun. You can see the joy in the movements

[@ArdorG.]

What I love about Celeste is that everyone can personalize it in different ways. Celeste already changed my life, but this video has given me another life changing perspective I didn’t get from the game itself. Everyone has something different they can learn from Celeste, and in turn have something different they can teach others thanks to Celeste.

[@travosk8668]

watching your vids makes me realize how easy I had it in high-school... I literally never experienced a SINGLE thing you have, so I find it hard to relate. However it allows to see life through a different lense.

[@werter9640]

Dude ive been struggling with old habits and having these troubles recently, this was really incitful so thank you

[@Kenjey]

"im brootforcing my way through self understanding" that is such a brilliant way to put it. you have a way with words man

[@ashtar3876]

it's what many people seem to do. RESIST this, RESIST that, FORCEFULLY do this. however you should try working with yourself.

[@VamshiOhgs]

I'm so glad that you decided to make a video about this wonderful game, one of the best platformer that has came out in recent times and the music is just too good

[@zanezane8780]

Celeste has made me appreciate life more.

[@rishithegray9559]

You're so good at these videos; you see through things i would have missed, and so elegantly and eloquently put into words things i would have only subconsciously and emotionally connected with. You make me examine myself through the lens of video games and make me want to be a better person; in addition to telling such a powerful and empathetic story of your own. I love these kinds of videos please never stop doing such great work!

[@cadj5853]

Thank you so much for this video. I had to stop multiple times while watching this video because it brought me to literal tears. I've been struggling with myself for so long and I've always thought that it was something that I had to rid myself of or overcome. I'd never thought of it as something that I had to come to terms with before (well i have but I haven't, its hard to explain, I guess comfortably in pain is the best way of putting it). This video helped me realise that I shouldn't ignore, supress, or be overtaken by it, but instead I should try to live alongside it. I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me take a step closer to whatever it is I'm looking for. I have no idea how long I'll be able to keep this mindset but I hope it lasts :)

[@isaacwarren7516]

This is one of your most open and honest videos about your life, and it hit me right in the heart to hear you say the things I too have felt in my teenage years. For what it's worth, thank you. Thank you for this video, and for being on youtube.

[@ilikemovies22]

This is the Celeste video I’ve been looking/waiting for. Could never exactly put into words why this game resonated so much with me, but you did a great job of explaining its beauty.

[@Awesome_Nova]

I did not expect to relate to most of the video. Even though I don’t have any mental illnesses that I’m aware of or have any addictions, I always fall back on being “comfortable but miserable,” and as I’ve realized, I’ve always had bad habits and self-destructive behavior. I have poor self-esteem and rely on praise and validation from others for that, (when there isn’t anything pressuring me not to) I stay up until 2-3 in the morning and wake up at 11-noon, and on those days I when I oversleep I eat instant noodles because I’m starving and can’t be bothered to use a stove to cook. I tend to escape to daydreams or video games or other things, and I pursue academics because I thought it would make me happier in the long run and because it made me feel worthy. But really I think it screwed me over. I was using it to avoid problems in my life, and despite getting me an extremely good GPA and AP scores as well as college credit, it was very taxing mentally to the point that I didn’t have much energy for anything else. I’ve never been truly happy as a teen. Yeah, I’ve had happy moments, but I wasn’t happy. I’m an adult and have two weeks of high school left, and while I’ve grown and improve, I still have a lot to ground to cover.

[@defaultdoor2872]

dude this video gave me such a reality check. you literally described me in the beginning of the vid and the rest of the vid made me realize so much about myself. im in literal tears because i dont know what to do with myself even though you described it.

[@godders976]

I expected this video to be like other videos on similar topics where it would allow me to empathize better with people I know who struggle with mental health, and then you spoke to me, like you were inside my head! Thank you, I needed this video!

[@collintwiss]

hits close to home, in just about the best way possible. as per usual, thank you for entering my life!

[@WarMomPT]

The aside about how recovery and self-improvement is a long, slow, arduous process really resonated with me. I know that (along some axes) I'm better off than I was two years ago but there's never any immediate change. Still sleeping at weird hours, still inconsistent, etc. But the biggest change that comes first is just a sincere belief that you *can* keep getting better.

[@wuwubean]

...wow. I'm a teenager in high school in a super similar spot, and this video seriously gave me a wake up call. Thank you.

[@Alanciar]

Today I was crying like crazy when I got to the endscreen of Farewell for my first time... I don't know if this game will help me through my life, but for sure it's the best game I've ever played...

[@nataliexists]

crying because the level is hard or crying because of the story?

[@Alanciar]

@@nataliexists cause i relate to mc and im really really emotional. This game woke my emiotions up. Now I can cry, laugh, smile... Recently I beat Solaris and Lunaris, and at the end of these levels I was crying as well... and thats good. Crying is good. We need every kind of emotions in our lifes. Love ya

[@JadesMonologue]

Little did she know.

[@ashtar3876]

hehe

[@Cool-Vest]

Oh HEEEEELLLL no! This happens every time! I just played the game. It could happen to me at any moment! I'm panicking! Oh btw congrats to all the people that did transition because of this game or in general. I'm just panicking because I have way too much in common with pre-transition people and am incredibly conflicted about which direction I want to go in. Perhaps I should write a story about how I feel.

[@jaykebjacobson6879]

I have never clicked on a video so fast. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed this game, and I’m excited that you love it too.

[@chandy518]

celeste is one of my favourite games of all time, and the soundtrack is amazing, I love everything about this game

[@RycoreXIII]

After the most recent video, this one hits pretty hard.

[@PigEqualsBakon]

it is currently 1:12am, i have work tomorrow and am on my own path of self destruction. that voice in the back of my head rings loud and clear day in, day out, especially because i embark on extremely difficult, mentally and physically taxing, and not to mention expensive projects, all to "prove i can do it" to myself. Maybe i need to scale back, or take breaks between projects (i currently have 3 on the fly and one on the back burner). I think tomorrow i'm going to rewatch this, and maybe go to bed earlier. I think i need to work on myself more than I do cars and motorcycles.

[@chibotdx8987]

I... cant process why yet but I just got to the end and cried. This game means a lot to me already, and I think its lessons are so incredibly important. It just keeps teaching me thing, every time I come back. Thank you, I think I needed this

[@heyyitsultima]

It's not very often that a video brings me to tears, but this one is too relatable. Thank you for making this beautiful video.

[@TheEvilCandyBunnies]

Honestly, thank you for sharing your story. Your progression through school and into adulthood is so similar to how I used to feel in school and how I feel now. I’m only 21 and have tried to combat negativity with ideas of self progression and can get myself easily motivated but it feels like it’s so easy to bring me all the way down and when that does I combat it with stress eating which just ends up making everything worse. And the way you described how you justify it is literally me, I’m so bad for coming up with reasons why a lot of my self-destructive behavior is ok. With this video, you’ve done something I honestly wish I could do and that’s compile my thoughts in a coherent manner that makes sense instead of just random intrusive thoughts entering and leaving my head with no recognizable solution. Watching this has legitimately helped me and this couldn’t have been easy to make so thank you.

[@sauzethepepsisalesrep2020]

Absolutely perfect video on one of my favorite games of all time. You make some of the best content on this site, keep up the fantastic work!

[@diidimeh]

What an incredible video. Until now I had only one video I've ever seen that truly felt life changing and now I can say Ive seen two. 🥺

[@zaidlacksalastname4905]

I'm so glad you finally made a video on this masterpiece

[@darcsyde345]

This actually helped me understand the game a ton more. Thanks for this great video!

[@mypetblackie108]

Thank you for putting your feelings about this game into words, as it's helped me significantly to understanding why I love this game so much, and love it even more now. Throughout my first run, I didn't understand the theme like... at all. But after hearing it put into words, I definitely want to play the whole thing over again just to experience those emotions myself.

[@chargoal_games]

This video: every quote, every story and every emotion in it; stroke to close to the heart. It's like you were describing my life and what I'm going through and am a couple of steps behind you. Thank you for being there and going through that hardship. Thank you for sharing. Thank you a lot.

[@chocohot725]

Thanks for this video, it really put a lot of how I was feeling into perspective and even if I might not fully understand it yet it makes me feel not as alone with my problems and that I can keep improving :)

[@wmdtone]

Great video. I interpreted the game's message as a depiction of coming to terms with a kind of abstract mental illness that I have no real experience with but you did a really great job of breaking it down in a much more relatable way.

[@MetaTomato]

Your relationship with yourself is like your relationship with any person or animal. You affect each other, and bringing the other down will bring you both down. Mutual understanding and a willingness to communicate and work through problems together is the only way for things to work, even with your own mind

[@vivvy_0]

what if you dont know what you want/can and feel lost every day since years and have no outside help?

[@MetaTomato]

@@vivvy_0 Hang in there until you do, because there's always someone who'd help you if they could. Reach out whenever possible. Understanding oneself is difficult, but therapy and some self-reflection can help

[@MetaTomato]

Meditation and/or religion helps many understand themselves as well! Not that i do either yet, but people praise them

[@HeyNavi]

What a coincidence. You uploaded this on the month I started and finished the game. Your video is very relatable and thought the same thing during my play through. The story is very minimalistic but does have a lot of meaning depending how you view it.

[@zakirzhangozin1288]

This is the best video you made imo. Made me cry and reflect on the exact thoughts that you've been having. I need to internalise it now. Thanks sweety:*

[@neurofilterband]

I genuinely look forward to your videos Lead, and the variety of topics you cover means there's always something new and different mixed with stellar insight and real thought. I think it's amazing what you've achieved and discovered so far - it makes me all the more excited to see what will come next for you. 💜

[@goobiscool5363]

clicked as quickly as i could, celeste being my favorite game ever

[@badger297]

"I'm just tryna brute force my way thru self understanding." I felt as tho that physically hit me. I had to stop what I was doing at work and rewind that. Love your content. Hope you're doing well

[@philipdamian7346]

Wow! You are an inspiration for anybody struggling with self-doubt and avoiding those issues by being impersonal/inauthentic (me). Thank you for showing us who you are, with all the false-starts and doubts. This is especially because I've seen the parts of yourself you lay bare in your future content. I am lucky I get to watch someone who makes such an effort to be geniune despite how hard it is.

[@maydup]

This is why I love this channel, its better then what I feel any therapist could do, you explain to me exactly what im doing with me saying to myself "oh I only smoke weed for fun" when I really don't and every little detail going on in my head that I could never explain. Thank you

[@yehuda8589]

This reminds of Flower Sun and Rain a game which has a similar message but is about the protagonist getting consumed by his anxieties and is one of the most depressing games I've ever played.

[@bunbungaming8446]

DUUUUUUDE, I was not expecting to see a Goichi Suda game mentioned today. Is it any good? I'm only familiar with Killer 7 and Killer is Dead (Technically not his) . I haven't even gotten around to No More Heroes yet.

[@yehuda8589]

@@bunbungaming8446 So Flower Sun and Rain is my favorite game of all time, but it's not for everyone since the game intentionally tries to be frustrating (literally mocking the protagonist at every turn for all the stuff he has to go through) you'll either end up loving it for how relatable it feels (as well as the amazing writing, but good writing is a given with Suda games) or hate it for how frustrating it can be. Either way I recommend checking it out since (much like every other Suda directed game) there really is nothing else like it, but you should probably play The Silver Case first since FSR takes place in the same universe and carries over some story beats and concepts that won't make sense without knowing Silver Case's story. Also don't be scared of using a walkthrough if you get stuck, since a lot of puzzles are really hard.

[@bunbungaming8446]

@@yehuda8589 Sweet, I'll be sure to check it out when I have the time. Will also have a guide in mind, cause I do kind of consider myself good at adventure games, but I admit I did have to use a guide eventually.

[@anderons]

"Madeline is her own best friend" My eyes teared up, I think I might have to replay this game and for real learn a lesson, thanks man

[@imaginationsquare]

I'm a teenager myself and just knowing this game exists gives me faith I'm not the only one who feels/felt this way, I can connect with this game in so many ways and it calms me to know I'm not alone, it changed my mindset to help anyone I find that has these struggles too instead of focussing on only myself and locking myself away, since making people happy is what truely makes me happy.

[@Laika4895]

Celeste and still was one of the most hard hitting games I've played because of how hard it called me out. On bad habits, self destructive tendencies and whether i realized it or not, gender identity. I played celeste a good few years ago, during one of the hardest times mentally, and I was scared that I could relate to Madeline and her struggles so much. From dealing with depression and anxiety to finding out who you really are. Its an absolutely amazing game i can't bring myself to play because of the emotional impact it had on me. Hell, even know it's effecting me. When Maddy Thorson said that Madeline was trans, i fully accepted and simply moved on because i myself wasn't trans right? Skip a good few months later and now im having my second gender panic, i still don't know what pronouns to go by or what i identify as. And yet, i still relate to Madeline on that front. Finding yourself is a scary thing, and even know, with the support of a lot of friends and my gf, im still scared of whats to come. But, im hopeful. It all worked out for Madeline in the end, and if i keep at it, maybe I'll figure things out too. Thank you.

[@Vexiad]

The fact that you're moving forwards, becoming aware of who you are and working to recognise those bad habits that your mind has formed is already amazing. You're doing great and you should be proud of how far you've come! You've got this.

[@drekieldur1558]

I had my second gender panic about two months ago. It's still hard, but things get better, especially if you have a good support system.

[@madeline8062]

same

[@mwsands9155]

@@drekieldur1558 Gender is just a social construct tho... Be yourself but don't be your "gender"

[@drekieldur1558]

@@mwsands9155 Part of being myself is being my gender. It's a part of me. If it wasn't, then I wouldn't be uncomfortable with identifying myself as agender. Gender is definitely a social construct, but because, like most people, I was raised in society and will probably live in it for the rest of my life, it has become integral to me as a person. It's the same for feelings of shame, anxiety, and guilt. Those feelings wouldn't exist without society, yet they are part of your personality, and everyone experiences them slightly differently, and in different levels of intensity.

[@lemmykoopa1379]

This game resonated with me on a level that far surpasses words, especially the music. For years I despised myself and even engaged in self-harm from time to time, I was depressed and deeply pessimistic. I found this game during 2020, a tough period for literally everyone, but it truly proved it’s worth to me over the years as I grew and learned to understand its true message. I eventually overcame my depression, and I always still think about how much I empathize with Madeline as a character, how much she and the game itself have inspired me. As of writing this I am struggling with intense anxiety and I find myself looking back to this game for comfort and reassurance, and I’ve realized that the game is still teaching me new lessons about life every time I look back on it. Seriously, man, this game is phenomenal, I’d even say perfect.

[@gabriellag8915]

Holestry the intro is me rn. I’m just in pain.

[@night_mare_1172]

"what if we dont make it?" "I'd be okay with that." 13:56 That piece of dialouge is absolute GOLD! Ive been struggling to be happy with what I have achieved and I always felt that no matter what I did, I would never be happy. I always feel that I never did everything I could. That somehow even though I am definitely better than I was a few years or even months ago that i am still not my best. The truth that I think not even just me but all of us as people need to realise is that we cant ever be the best or even OUR best. Amazing video! Absolutely love your message!

[@CapeSkill]

I'm in the same boat, even if I start comparing current me and myself 1 year ago, the progress and knowledge gain has been incredibly high, but there's always this voice saying it's never enough, you're not the best, thus you're bad, then it can spiral down pretty quickly into self-hatred and burnout.

[@hepno2238]

this feels like foreshadowing

[@hollo8702]

I know this video came out awhile ago so you probably won’t see this but that beginning bit helped me a lot because I’m going through the exact same things. What you said gave me hope for the future. I’m gonna go play this game and come back to watch the rest of this video once I’m done

[@sbeanT8]

Hey man, I believe in you.

[@darksentinel082]

I had a feeling there was a video on Celeste coming once the big announcement came.

[@TanookiToadDC]

Recently moved out of my parent's house and this video hit me for sure. If I work smart enough I'll never have to live with them again and can have my own freedom and do my own thing. If I do not I'll have to go back and live with them. I already rode the couch for 5 months before having my own place and I really don't want to go back. I love my family and am so thankful for their kindness, but living on my own has helped me see the light. I never want to leave it again. It does feel like I am taking some steps into real darkness and there's the possibility of having my own "Summit" if I push through all the things. Yeah, this video hit. Thank you for making it.

[@velvetsky3451]

I don’t care what else I am doing, if I see a Leadhead notification, I *immediately* click.

[@thishandleisntavailable1]

100% her videos are always an immediate watch!

[@highr4nksteel636]

@@thishandleisntavailable1 i swear she mastercrafts every single one

[@LatinaCreamQueen]

seeing your progression is great :) congrats.

[@machinerin151]

"Brute force self-understanding" Oh holy crap, you put this into words! I've had this problem for many years and you've finally put it into words! Damn, I need to get myself a therapist. But finding the right one is a huuuuge uphill battle, especially here in Russia for anyone... over the rainbow, so to speak. If I found it too daunting to learn a single new calculus formula and failed out of university, how does life expect me to even begin looking for a rainbow-friendly therapist in Russia? Well, it doesn't expect me to. It's not a living thing. The only one expecting me to do it is myself. How fun.

[@sunflowerstrength]

I'm truly sorry to hear that, I hope your situation improves soon somehow

[@sunflowerstrength]

I hope you are doing alright. I can somewhat relate to your situation

[@machinerin151]

@@sunflowerstrength I am doing brilliantly! I solved a lot of stuff without a therapist. I transitioned, too!!! Over a year ago! And found the love of my life, the partner I would die for! Don't get me wrong, I still need therapy. I found a good therapist I seem to have clicked with. But I cannot afford sessions right now, so - maybe someday later.

[@orangeeeeeee]

Put it in to words for me too, fuck. I'm always trying to understand shit as fast as possible but that is the exact moment I realize I didn't get the bigger picture because I wasn't actually thinking, I was just pretending to understand for myself. How are you now btw?

[@machinerin151]

@@orangeeeeeee I am a transbian now. In some ways I am better, because my actual life dramatically improved by transition and moving to a bigger city and getting a girlfriend. In others - some of the same issues remain: I still present a confident facade that pretends to know what's going on, this time for the benefit of others besides just myself. I try to brute force and label things that simply cannot be covered under one label. I need therapy, but can't afford it.

[@michalgolonka832]

Easily earns my subscription. Those are some very nice videos

[@emmas1366]

Yes! another celeste video essay. I've watched every one of these I could get my hands on, into the depths of youtube. you have good taste, thank you for this

[@70MIFICATION]

Man, I was having lunch and I wanted to see something entertaining while eating. I randomly checked your channel, in which I am subbed but I don´t really see your videos much often because I´m not playing any game at all. And I encountered this. Glad I did. You went deep with me. My life is totally changing for the good and I don´t really know if it will turn out well at the end, but at least I am trying. Superb video. Cheers.

[@bunbungaming8446]

I finished Celeste yesterday, and i"m glad I bought it. The controls are super tight, and platform is very satisfying. One of my favorites parts of the game was Madeline reconciling with Badaline, and playing through segments of every level as Super Madaline. Gonna be honest though...was I the only one who thought I would have to play the game over again, a la Ghost and Goblins?

[@DocDrowsy]

Just found your channel through this video and man, what a good one to start on. Really thought provoking stuff

[@urbiznesnunuv6938]

My egg was already broken/breaking when I played this a few days ago, but this was there for me when I’m about to start HRT, somehow made me feel even more certain in my decisions.

[@JakeMW]

Leadhead I'm no gamer (subscribed from your Pros and Cons and Space Odyssey videos) but I'm just here to say that your ability to speak and express complex ideas can attract a diverse audience. Your words resonate with me so I tune in and listen, despite not having an interest in gaming. I like to think this is rare in the gaming community, which makes your content very unique. I'm sure that's a goal for you and it's your intent to have a wide audience, and I just think you're doing a great job.

[@shroomfruit345]

This game reminded me of how 1st party titles are great, but indie games will always have a sort of uniqueness that 1st party titles will never be able to replicate.

[@ianbottom9113]

I literally just broke out of my negative headspace as you described to a T in this video after 19 years and I’m so excited to live again

[@havenfractal]

I wish the internet had landed on calling her Sadeline. I think it makes more sense than Badeline, and does a better job of capturing her character. She's afraid of failure and afraid of change. She's not bad, just sad and scared and in need of reassurance. Never block out that part of you that says you can't do it, that it's too hard. It's just trying to protect you. You don't have to agree with it, but you do have to listen to it. You'll be happier with yourself if you work with your fears instead of fighting against them. Such a great game.

[@RichConnerGMN]

i mean, that's her name in every* file relating to her *with the exception of the thing that plays in the first mirror cutscene

[@niallslinger]

its incredible, we're all individuals yet we all fight the same demons only to realize that we should've hugged them from the very begining. i love celeste

[@Nawakooo0]

Celeste helped me cope with depression and anxiety and it stuck with me. The single fact that I managed to beat already almost 2/3 of a game as hard helped me with my self-esteem issues. Celeste really touched me on a personnal level and it's not for nothing that it's my third favourite game ever behind only Portal 2 and Minecraft. Oh and also Reach for the Summit might the best peice of video game music ever composed.

[@twofivemome]

omg i love tha writing style and presentation of your videos, so transparent, this channel is special

[@StayPuftedMarsh]

This video spoke to me. I just turned 28 and I’m about to graduate college. I live with my parents in the house I grew up in that’s in a kinda small town. I want to be a screenwriter and hopefully move up to being a film director. But there’s one problem, I’m afraid to drive a vehicle. A lot of people I know have some kind of freelance work in Houston or other places. But I feel stuck and stressed every time I wake up in the morning. That hinders my ability to write anything and I keep putting it off tomorrow or next week. I’m also afraid to live on my own or that I won’t be successful. But I need to challenge myself, this is my mountain I’m trying to overcome.

[@jamesonescobar782]

I know next to nothing about your situation, but a thing that helped me with the fear of driving a car was learning how to pilot a spaceship in elite dangerous, the learning experience mirrors learning how to drive a car in a risk free environment, and once i had the space flight sim controls down i realized that driving a car will never be as complex as something I already knew, driving a spaceship, as well as developing the proper mindset that works to avoid both damaging my shiny 147 million credit anaconda ship, and the car i drive on the road. I still have much to learn about driving, but i have more confidence in what i already learned since this is my second time learning how to drive a complex vehicle. As for my driving advice, practice in residential areas, take your time, and pull over and stop if you need to, a student driver sign also will help as it at a glance explains your situation, taking some heat off you, driving with somebody who is encouraging can also be helpful, try a friend (who can drive of course) if parents are unavailable. Its gonna be a process, shed as many tears and take as much time as you need, but make progress and you'll reach the summit of this mountain, and have learned a thing or two for the next.

[@samball2216]

This past year I have gotten really into game development and programming, and over this time my opinion/the way I view video games has changed. I used to think of games mostly as quick mindless fun with friends, but now I see video games as more of a experience and a form of art. I have begun to really appreciate the storytelling and environment in games. As well as what they teach us/how they make us feel. And I feel like your channel has also helped me appreciate these things in games! Keep up the awesome work!

[@longjohn84]

Expectation: a video about Celest Received: Psychotherapy

[@n33dml92]

Thank You LeadHead this videos amazing I’ve been thinking a lot about my self and if I could do anything to make myself better or more human but this video has made me realise A lot of things so thank you again you’re awesome

[@ChristopherMoom]

I think it's really awesome going through people's stories of how Celeste has had an effect on their lives, seeing the legacy of this game feels wonderful I know there's loads of people who've already talked about how life-changing of a game Celeste is, but I enjoy being able to learn about different perspectives from other fellow fans of this game

[@filiaknight8514]

celeste might be my number one favorite game story. i'll never be able to re-experience celeste the same way i did that first time i opened it

[@jackleelego]

For my 2 cents, you might be focusing too much on goals and external milestones - when you do clean your house once a week, you'll feel exactly how you do now and feel kinda bad about not doing the next thing. You're never going to be your own best friend all the time, and to some extent you've got to accept things as they are at the moment