No video

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

  Рет қаралды 1,801,574

CenterScene

CenterScene

Күн бұрын

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence-the body keeps the score. That’s how Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s leading experts on developmental trauma, explains how our long-term health and happiness can be compromised by prior exposure to violence, emotional abuse, and other forms of traumatic stress. In his new book, Dr. van der Kolk explores how innovative treatments-ranging from meditation and neurofeedback to yoga, sports, and drama-offer new paths to healing and wellness. A psychiatrist and author of multiple books, his work and perspectives have been featured in The New York Times, on National Public Radio, and in many other media outlets.

Пікірлер: 2 000
@jperkinscc
@jperkinscc 7 жыл бұрын
After reading the book, I found a Psychologist that was trained in Neurofeedback and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy....I am off all pain medication, all antidepressants, all anti-anxiety meds and am weaning off sleeping meds. I feel like a new person, and have cut ties with those who have abused me, or cause anxiety in my life.
@willzer808
@willzer808 7 жыл бұрын
Well done Julie, well done
@xephini
@xephini 7 жыл бұрын
As someone starting treatment, reading this gives me hope! Hope you're doing well :)
@DianaWyrdsister
@DianaWyrdsister 6 жыл бұрын
It's amazing that CBT worked for you. I have found that for many it makes matters worse. For those EMDR tends to work much better. I guess it's a trial and error situation.
@journeyofrecovery6139
@journeyofrecovery6139 6 жыл бұрын
sunshine moonlight get out there, I know its scary
@kirstinetermansen7234
@kirstinetermansen7234 5 жыл бұрын
Julie Perkins Yoga is so easy and effective
@jasongentile7542
@jasongentile7542 4 жыл бұрын
I did 4x combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan from 2004-2013. I just retired after 21 years. This guy is right.
@floridaislandgirl1039
@floridaislandgirl1039 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your service and loyalty. God bless you!
@Aprilforevergreen
@Aprilforevergreen 4 жыл бұрын
War is a truly terrible thing under any circumstances. I hope you are well and if you need support you are getting it. Best wishes.
@Rachel-gp2vw
@Rachel-gp2vw 4 жыл бұрын
You should read his book, it was amazing
@jasongentile7542
@jasongentile7542 4 жыл бұрын
@@Rachel-gp2vw my counselor at the VA and I talked about that book. It makes allot of sense. I struggle so much. I appreciate your thoughts.
@Rachel-gp2vw
@Rachel-gp2vw 4 жыл бұрын
itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewBook?id=731076045 It helped me a lot. This guy is a genius, I recommend it to everybody
@fatemafakhreddine
@fatemafakhreddine 3 жыл бұрын
Haha 2 minutes into his talk and he's already cursing. I love it. It's badass and shows that he's pissed. That's how the truth makes you feel, especially if you have a deep hatred for injustice and lies.
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@Andrew-yw6kt
@Andrew-yw6kt 3 жыл бұрын
Fat, you're goofy
@llkoolbean4935
@llkoolbean4935 3 жыл бұрын
I felt same
@danadams6477
@danadams6477 2 жыл бұрын
I noticed this too. It had caught me off guard at first, as I was listening to this while driving home from work. I had thought to myself, YES!, that's how you use cuss words when telling a story, to make an impact, to emphasize and express the emotion and severity of your experience and convey that to your audience/listeners. Profanity has become as common as a vowel in the lexicon of today's society, and in my opinion is often unnecessary and unwarranted the majority of the time. I'm 53 and wonder if others around my age feel the same way?
@RDR18851
@RDR18851 2 жыл бұрын
@@danadams6477 I'm a few years older and yes, I feel the same. It's the last thing I expected to hear from such a distinguished doctor! A bit disappointing. Surely he could have found cleaner words to express his frustration and anger at the traditional mental health institute.
@tierrastephenson2301
@tierrastephenson2301 3 жыл бұрын
"We rarely think about love being antecedents of trauma" This really spoke to me.
@Werewolf0216
@Werewolf0216 3 жыл бұрын
I think it is quite common actually. We all know that when you love someone or someone loves you, but then some loss or betrayal occurs, that is potentially one of the most traumatizing experiences.
@joessj5
@joessj5 3 жыл бұрын
Black love
@jonaspinall5059
@jonaspinall5059 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@dotdashdotdash
@dotdashdotdash 3 жыл бұрын
@@Werewolf0216 the most traumatising.
@dawnlapka2433
@dawnlapka2433 3 жыл бұрын
This is spoken of repeatedly in the Church in various ways. I tried to connect to the topic of Divine Love through overcoming trauma for my Master's thesis the first time. My second Master's thesis I hope will be able to study Love and how music and comedy connects the dopamine receptors rather than drugs or alcohol. It's probably important to take some medicine for a little bit. But. Over prescribed drugs DO happen. This guy is absolutely RIGHT. The poor, students, and those who are preparing for marriage or better ways of life are getting screwed all the time....
@AliciaGuitar
@AliciaGuitar 3 жыл бұрын
I came here because even after successful EMDR and years of counseling, support groups, and therapy, i noticed via FB memories i get physically sick and hospitalized on the same days each year, anniversaries of trauma events in my life. I did not even know they were trauma anniversaries until i went through old diaries, journals, and FB posts. My body literally remembers and knows...
@thedog2916
@thedog2916 3 жыл бұрын
Years ago my sister in law said to me, do you realize you are always sick near the anniversary of your mother’s traumatic death (she caught her clothing on fire while in her wheelchair, died 8 days later). I was a child of family violence in all forms. I had barely turned 18 when this occurred. Once this was brought to the surface, I did a lot of inner child work. Actually on my own with help from many books. I’m no longer sick in September, I have felt the deep feelings and sat through the uncomfortable days and nights.
@nicolesaintdenis
@nicolesaintdenis 3 жыл бұрын
I've realized each year, similar time if year similar feelings happen to me as well. It's crazy how humans work
@dreamznaspiratons7064
@dreamznaspiratons7064 3 жыл бұрын
What helped?
@tennesseeminnissi2445
@tennesseeminnissi2445 3 жыл бұрын
Yes! I’m an Army vet with PTSD. I go into a deep depression on the anniversary of a traumatic event.
@tennesseeminnissi2445
@tennesseeminnissi2445 3 жыл бұрын
A lot of it is spiritual oppression too. Satan and his minions have it worked down to an art form.
@lioness6853
@lioness6853 5 ай бұрын
Finally a doctor who understands the importance of love and understanding in healing trauma.
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 2 ай бұрын
I don't actually believe trauma can be healed...you can mitigate the damage, but that's not healing. The brain is changed forever😢
@TaymaShine
@TaymaShine 3 жыл бұрын
His contribution to society is immense. Thank you to this man. I only wish his book was mandatory reading for therapists, teachers, doctors, child protective services, and anyone else that deals with traumatized individuals. The mountain of knowledge in that book is incredible.
@playsavedthechild.2848
@playsavedthechild.2848 3 жыл бұрын
seems i'll have to read it so many good comments. Good video.
@THEROOTMATTERS
@THEROOTMATTERS 2 жыл бұрын
I have his book on Audible to listen to and on Kindle. I sound resting my eyes and listening to the Audible is an excellent way to learn from Dr. van der Kolk. I use the Kindle to look up specific items he addressed. I agree that this should be mandatory reading for everyone, especially those who suffer and those who care for those who suffer.
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 2 жыл бұрын
Cps = child traffickers
@Dani-cg9hn
@Dani-cg9hn 2 жыл бұрын
@Move Perhaps at High school level it could be recommended on the books for students to read instead of the sexual and gender brainwashing books parents are having to fight to keep out of curriculum. I have learned that we are ready to learn to understand the teachings and the material.
@ERRNCAM1
@ERRNCAM1 Жыл бұрын
We are introducing it into nursing programs.
@kaypendergast5676
@kaypendergast5676 Жыл бұрын
"When you get traumatised, more trauma .seems to be attracted to you." So true. So true.
@gloriakurkowski101
@gloriakurkowski101 Жыл бұрын
Seems you touched a nerve in me. Thank you.
@kristine8338
@kristine8338 Жыл бұрын
I totally disagree. Totally! There is something like resilience, touching the bottom floor gives you a kick to elevate yourself once again ❣️
@elizabethc.9532
@elizabethc.9532 Жыл бұрын
And why...the crux of the matter.
@julieshenk7640
@julieshenk7640 Жыл бұрын
​@@kristine8338 healing is not final or linear. So Kay is very correct. No one knows when the perfect storm will arise again....out of our control circumstances. Layered assaults break one down. Thankfully, with help, we can rise again. Yes, resilience is powerful but some ate targets and suffer off and on.
@VeronicaSparks-oq5qo
@VeronicaSparks-oq5qo Жыл бұрын
Just proves that everyone has been traumatized in one way or another
@pabloravizzoli345
@pabloravizzoli345 2 жыл бұрын
I was asked once by an actively naive coworker, seemingly proud of herself "Do you have any adventures planned?" I responded, withholding 99% of the intensity of my response for her psychological safety and my professional security, "I've had enough adventure for one lifetime." She responded by saying something like "you can never have enough adventure". And I could not think of a way to effectively communicate with her that spending a year in a combat zone, going on 250+ missions to search for unfriendly contact, losing two friends to that contact, realizing you're a monster for having the willingness to hurt others and that others are monsters for not realizing your life is precious and that everyone is capable of unspeakable deeds, and realizing your brain has forgotten how and why to be a civilized person and is now only useful in a narrow and violent span of human experience and thus now useless in the world, was all an adventure, or 365 adventures, all of which I was unprepared and ill-equipped for and was, to me, tantamount to an extreme overdose of adventure and that if she knew what an adventure is she wouldn't ask for a single more minute of it ever again (nor for that matter flaunt the privilege of her naivete in my face). So I didn't say anything more. Recently after hearing about Peter Levigne's work, I requested Somatic Experiencing trauma therapy treatment from the VA. They responded with: We only offer evidence based treatments. I wonder how the fuck they figure they should accept a dollar of pay under the guise of helping service members while not searching every corner of every modality for potential therapeutic outcomes. Apparently they're ok with waiting until someone else in the business of caring for PTS leads the way. How must it feel to fail at the one thing that justifies your existence as an institution. I voluntarily put 100% of my life (and my psyche) on the line 365 times and this is the response I get. Once again I find myself struggling to communicate how infinitely, astonishingly, embarrassingly, colossally ethically, spiritually, conceptually lacking this is.
@poetaenlaluna
@poetaenlaluna 2 жыл бұрын
It's not the fault of the Somatic Experiencing organization, you have to understand that big pharma operate as a mafia worldwide and have infiltrated every governmental organization pertinent to health because they want people on their drugs, not to be cured. SE has mentioned how insurance companies refuse to pay for SE treatments in favour of drugs or some might pay only partially as long as they prove they're also on meds! It's insane I know. My hope is that more of us use, demand, and make this movement popular and hopefully SE becomes an acceptable treatment accesible for everybody. Wish you all the best on your healing journey!
@annak29
@annak29 Жыл бұрын
I totally agree. The therapies that actually work (heal) will never be covered by insurance and "health" institutions...the medical insurance companies were started and are owned by old world bankers..."medicine" was taken over by Rockf*r starting 1910 to remake it into chemical molecular industry as a new market for petroleum.
@NikaBanana
@NikaBanana Жыл бұрын
As a veteran. I know the VA does not give two fucks about us
@girlskirtmission
@girlskirtmission Жыл бұрын
@@NikaBanana That is so sad and maddening.
@girlskirtmission
@girlskirtmission Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this you communicate clearly with great humanity and empathy. How tragic that war is still raging in a world that has had nothing but war and gained nothing in wisdom.
@goodintentions1302
@goodintentions1302 4 жыл бұрын
Minute 49 regarding how you hold your body... I learned, as an adult in my 30s, that I could change my mood by skipping. I am not able to be depressed if I am skipping! It's rare that I can get other people to skip with me unless they're under 10 years old. Yet there are groups all over the country that skip in groups of as many as 200 people. Of course, the trick is to actually be able to make yourself get up and do it, in addition to remembering it helps when feeling so down.
@sagatyba
@sagatyba 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@TellMeMoore
@TellMeMoore 3 жыл бұрын
I want to skip
@OhHapppyDaay
@OhHapppyDaay 3 жыл бұрын
OMG!!! Are you me??? 🙃 I LOVE to skip! Right, no one under 10 will skip with me either 🙁 I will always skip with you. 🍭
@brooksequine7621
@brooksequine7621 3 жыл бұрын
This made me smile ... skipping !
@annieoconnor1981
@annieoconnor1981 3 жыл бұрын
Cool! I ‘m going to try it! Thanks.
@melssf7852
@melssf7852 3 жыл бұрын
This man is amazing. I actually prefer that he swore about war, because I can see how passionate he is to this. He gets the bigger picture. I can never understand why these are not the people who should be running the world instead of politicians.
@elenaburghiu7598
@elenaburghiu7598 2 жыл бұрын
Cause they politicians don t want peace.
@lionswimmer4637
@lionswimmer4637 2 жыл бұрын
Mels SF, I concur wholeheartedly with all you say here.
@Vryniceberry
@Vryniceberry 2 жыл бұрын
The electoral college made up of mental health experts, and respectful peers? That could be cool. Much better than what we have now I'm sure.
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 2 жыл бұрын
Religion and politics are by Nature run by evil people. Good people don't want to rule others. Good people refuse.
@Dani-cg9hn
@Dani-cg9hn 2 жыл бұрын
Because he is honest. And the politicians are the hypocrites elected by the people. Perception is the veil covering the eyes of people voting for judges that later make laws against us while judges, attorneys are protecting each other. There must be a shift in the entire judicial system for people to see the truth and those manipulating the laws loose control only when being removed.
@AyokiKusano
@AyokiKusano 4 жыл бұрын
"stupid and simple diagnostics to firm up our relationships with the drug companies" thats spot on
@Madmen604
@Madmen604 3 жыл бұрын
We all know it, but few will say it.
@lizmott1726
@lizmott1726 3 жыл бұрын
I
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 2 ай бұрын
​@lizmott1726 my ssri saved my life
@rachs57
@rachs57 4 жыл бұрын
I hope everyone there knows what a GIFT this video is.
@cowboycalicojakk9685
@cowboycalicojakk9685 3 жыл бұрын
those who seek shall find
@nancybaumgartner6774
@nancybaumgartner6774 3 жыл бұрын
No bureaucrat ever will.
@11burnout
@11burnout 3 жыл бұрын
I fell asleep depressed listening to divorceclips going through a split from an abusive relationship. Woke up to this I think it means something in my situation but I dont know what..
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@ogaustin1372
@ogaustin1372 3 жыл бұрын
Only 19 minutes in and this guy has spoken more than volumes than years could.
@playsavedthechild.2848
@playsavedthechild.2848 3 жыл бұрын
Just told my friend this!
@AA-bk1jr
@AA-bk1jr 2 жыл бұрын
The only issues I have with him is the facility he works at in Arizona. Otherwise he’s amazing
@danadams6477
@danadams6477 2 жыл бұрын
Right?! I feel the same way.
@SpiritHawk
@SpiritHawk 3 жыл бұрын
I worked in mental health for 20 years with people diagnosed with serious mental illness. I worked at a very progressive centre where I taught Yoga/meditation but the people were all drugged up by their doctors. For the last 16 years, I’ve done bodywork with people based in Buddhist meditation practice and Ayurveda. Food is crucial for a good base to heal and bodywork releases trauma from the body. This is so right on. One must develop a spiritual perspective to manage and heal from the kinds of trauma inflicted on people in our current world. It’s time the psychotic elite that are running things be held accountable for the fear and horror they have unleashed on the wold because they want power and control.
@pepper.8176
@pepper.8176 2 жыл бұрын
What kind of diet/food would you suggest
@sll110
@sll110 Жыл бұрын
@@pepper.8176 same question
@richellelemon3137
@richellelemon3137 Жыл бұрын
@@sll110 ... fresh, fresh and fresh vegies are better than fruits. Cut way down on sugars. Lottsa water. Fresh meats, but used more as a side or seasoning. Eat fibre, but not as much as is suggested - fibre is used as a scrub for the intestines not as something to fill up on. We don't need to be eating as much as we do even if we think it's healthy food. If you spend a larger portion of time shopping, preparing, cooking and serving you'd eat less, but healthier and happier ♡
@moonmagnolia7
@moonmagnolia7 Жыл бұрын
And throw away processed “vegetable oils”. They’re not made from vegetables. They’re highly processed and turn into omega-6’s in your body which can cause inflammation. Use cold pressed virgin olive oil instead, just ensure it’s pure because a lot were found to contain unhealthy “seed or (not) vegetable oils” in them, or use avocado oil or butter made from milk from organic grass fed animals. Definitely eat real Whole Foods like organic cruciferous vegetables. Cut out processed foods, sugar, and carbs. If you must eat carbs, get them from real organic vegetables. Meat should be real also (not processed deli meats), grass fed and organic. Eggs are a good source of protein if you’re a vegetarian. You don’t need to worry about the cholesterol because eggs have choline in them which counteracts the cholesterol. But try to get eggs from locally raised chickens that are truly free range where they can run around outside. You’ll never go back to store bought once you try them. Or get your own chicken. You do need some healthy fats to absorb fat soluble vitamins like A, D, E, and I think, K. You can get healthy fats from avocados, organic nuts, grass fed organic butter, and even bacon. Once I switched to eating real food, cut the carbs, processed food, and sugar, and included healthy fats, I lost ~25 pounds over about 7 months because I was actually satisfied. The fats help you feel full whereas carbs turn into sugar and then you get hungry again a lot sooner plus every time you eat carbs or sugars, you have drastic changes in your insulin levels which affect your mood and energy levels. Intermittent fasting also helps and is easy to do when you’re eating real food because you’re not hungry. When you fast, your body cleans up damaged cells and creates new ones. And a good multivitamin helps to meet your micronutrient needs that might be missing in your diet. I didn’t change my diet to lose weight. I changed it to get healthy and more natural energy. At first it seemed more expensive, but since I don’t have cravings to eat all the time due to the insulin roller coaster, I actually buy less food and feel better.
@fionahayes4868
@fionahayes4868 Жыл бұрын
Forgive them for they have forgotten their connection to SourceGod . They will return to dust and be One with God again . I AM THAT I AM.
@teschchr122
@teschchr122 11 ай бұрын
I survived abandonment, foster care, a failed, highly abusive adoption, followed by aging out of the foster care system. My entire childhood was filled with trauma. It’s very expensive to try to heal. With insurance it’s cost my family over $15,000 this year. That, of course, doesn’t count towards all the medical issues that come up. The US should be ashamed of themselves for the broken systems that are out there. Getting help is very difficult .
@suespurgeon8858
@suespurgeon8858 3 ай бұрын
Very similar to my growing up. So sorry you suffered the same.
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 2 ай бұрын
True, even in Canada with socialized medicine, we don't have trauma informed pros.
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 2 ай бұрын
Stay brave...
@teschchr122
@teschchr122 2 ай бұрын
@@suespurgeon8858 I’m sorry about your trauma Sue. Bone of the times I wish we could speak with the people behind the comments. The only people that truly understand are the people that have worn those shoes.
@teschchr122
@teschchr122 2 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219 thank you Robyn! Big hugs!
@paigeturner165
@paigeturner165 2 жыл бұрын
I grew up in a tumultuous home, fighting, violence, grudges, unkindness… etc My mum used me as a buffer against my dad. I became the adult and rescuer. I’ve never been free of my mum and I never will. I’m 49 and she still controls my life. I could list endless ways she’s hurt me and let me down. My brother got out when he could at 17yrs old. He visits annually and is the blue eyed boy. It hurts. I’m depressed and I have chronic pain and crippling anxiety. My life is trauma, daily. All the counselling the world doesn’t help me. I’m pretty sure I’ll never feel good until mum is no longer in my life. That thought causes me so much guilt. But I know it to be true. I wish I could walk away.
@kirstinstrand6292
@kirstinstrand6292 4 жыл бұрын
Self isolatation makes (allows) getting in touch with one's past to deal with one's emotions. The space must feel safe, and be safe. Getting a pet can be helpful.
@XOChristianaNicole
@XOChristianaNicole 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been self-isolated, with my covert-malignant narc. mother, for over 7yrs; because of health issues, resulting from long-term exposure to cortisol (Cushing’s Syndrome. Though, also diagnosed with DID w/maladaptive daydreams, Bi-Polar, and CPTSD. Currently in process of seeing a clinical psychologist - as I believe I also fall on the autism spectrum) - because of the relationship, with my mother (symptoms began at the age of 6 - no one connected the dots; because everything was so normal, on the outside).. I just turned 33, and I became home kind/bedridden, overnight - and had to move back gone, so my mother could be my “caretaker” - overnight; right before my 26th birthday. I could never put my finger on it; yet, though, I always saw her as my “best friend” - there were always problems. I seemed to be “always looking for a fight” - even though, that was always the opposite of my reactions to her behavior. When I was 22, I took a 3-month course in cognitive behavioral therapy/leadership trainings - learning skills to, basically, undo the brainwashing of trauma; and for One to learn how to not allow their emotions to dictate their actions. I had three of my clients recommend and enroll me - my intention was to do this training, to become better and more effective in business (I am a hairstylist, and was working in Hollywood). Goodness, I had underestimated what I got myself into. Thanks to the tools I learned, and the ability to practice them from 22-26, I survived these past 7yrs. - coming out as the very person I always envisioned myself becoming; personally. I’ve become the person that will absolutely be able to maintain, extraordinarily successfully, because I have used my tribulations as the driving force in my pursuit of self-mastery. Funny thing is, is that I wrote a manifestation list, the month before I got sick; and my deal was, in order to receive my requested order - to become the very best version of myself, possible, for all those I am in relationship with (as those trainings showed me how much if my purpose is to be a relationship/leadership guide).. That’s EXACTLY what these past 7yrs. of Hell, brought me. And when I wrote “Hell” - I mean that literally. As my family and I also survived the “wildfire” that destroyed the small town of Paradise, CA, 11•8•18 (though, lost everything). I am, absolutely convinced, 100%, with every quantum bit of being, if I didn’t have those tools, from cognitive behavioral therapy/leadership trainings - I would have NEVER survived. Yet, because of all of that, and shifting my perspective, towards it, mindfully apply all the tools, I’ve learned - to the point that they become positive mindless habits and ways of being - I’ve come out thriving. As I’ve learned, trust the process - trust YOUR process. And always remember - life happens FOR us, not to us.
@kirstinstrand6292
@kirstinstrand6292 3 жыл бұрын
@@XOChristianaNicole thank you for your story. It's amazing that some of us have discovered our will to survive and to become who we, inside, always wanted to become. I completely understand your treacherous journey. You are rare, and wonderful.
@ellenkass9410
@ellenkass9410 3 жыл бұрын
My pets are excellent Purr therapists. 🐈🐈‍⬛🏜👩‍🦳🌻🌞
@Portia620
@Portia620 2 жыл бұрын
I did this and yoga, working out, singing and music, dancing, meditation, dancing, jacuzzi baths, and now I’m doing journaling with art of all mediums like water color and so much more.trying to go thru the process and not feel like I’m behind.
@jodisherland5335
@jodisherland5335 5 ай бұрын
I've been in isolation for one and a half years after a long experience of homelessness after a very painful divorce. (lost the kid and fell apart) I've come to the conclusion I'm recovered from vulnerable narcissism that I might never have believed I could have had LOL The ability to wake up and go to sleep without pain and an endless loneliness and alienation that was exhausting me and I couldn't make with relationships any longer. And it turns out that in my isolation has helped me uncover the problem has been my own false unconscious beliefs and abusive self talk running in my unconscious mind. Giving my attention to me and standing up for myself to any abuse I no longer feel isolated and lonely even though I'm actually isolated now. I realized chasing others trying to get acceptance and approval was not what I meeded. I needed my love and attention and acceptance and kindness. I am so shocked still...like why didn't anyone tell me this?
@starduck8014
@starduck8014 3 жыл бұрын
WOW...Dr Bessel and Dr Gabor Mate are two really special guys
@progressnotperfection1839
@progressnotperfection1839 2 жыл бұрын
The jokes about CBT crack me up! He is SO right! You can’t “think” trauma away.
@DEEPMOODYPURPLEBLUES
@DEEPMOODYPURPLEBLUES 2 жыл бұрын
👆💯☝🙏❤‍🔥
@lisapatnaude3224
@lisapatnaude3224 Жыл бұрын
No you can't but CBT does help you acknowledge negative thought patterns so you can change them.
@alvodin6197
@alvodin6197 Жыл бұрын
Lisa Patnaude@ You don't understand. Acknowledging and using your rational mind DOESNT help or change feelings in your body, which are the hallmarks of trauma. Especially, trauma that has to do with attachment or lack of secure attachment from childhood. We already know this. There's a reason cbt doesn't help people with BPD and other types of trauma that has to do with early attachment. And, the reason is why what I just explained. You can't think your way out of body based emotions. Yet, CBTz still gets founding,even with it's poor results.
@lisapatnaude3224
@lisapatnaude3224 Жыл бұрын
Alv odin. I didn't say anything against what you are saying about feelings. I said that CBT does help you realize the negative thought patterns. This is where the saying that we are our worst enemies. It's the thinking patterns. Also, I don't believe that there is only one form of treatments, but a combination of several.
@nurarondic3686
@nurarondic3686 Жыл бұрын
​@@alvodin6197 i agree with your comment! Trauma is actually "stored" in the our energetic body. Rational thinking will not help at all.
@Jessica-Jasmine-Green
@Jessica-Jasmine-Green 5 жыл бұрын
It's really useful to know that talking is only relevant if your trauma is a secret. That makes a lot of sense.
@melaniefox-smith8776
@melaniefox-smith8776 4 жыл бұрын
Helping yourself and your children to leave traumatic cirumstances is one of the most important things we can do to protect the next generation. Leave the violence and the conflict when you can. In addition.. once we haveescaped the trauma lets help each other to rewire our unconscious reactions to move through and beyond them. This work is so important to helping our societies to move through and beyond the trauma.
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@groominator-magneticequato2529
@groominator-magneticequato2529 3 жыл бұрын
So true. I stayed too long. The abuser wore me down/control allowed him to create a victim role and by the time I got him out, 1 child had become the golden child and the other became a surrogate for me and suffered similar abuse until she refused to see him, thank god. But I lost my son. He learned by feeling about me as his dad does, he wins his love. Tragic. Yes, get out, nothing is worse.
@WolfepackJSJGA
@WolfepackJSJGA 3 жыл бұрын
This was a Godsend. Family.has been thru the ringer and somehow finding this is nothing short of a miracle.
@stephanier6783
@stephanier6783 3 жыл бұрын
Beautifully stated!
@karync.6707
@karync.6707 3 жыл бұрын
Exaclty. What a waste of time and emotion staying around abusive people, whoever they are, dealing with the sinister motives and actions, and trying to figure out how to navigate what nasty surprise will come your way next! Way easier to get away...the farther and faster the better. It took a couple years to realize i had to help myself get out. Thank god i applied for low income housing far away, and when one came available, i moved...7 cities away, my life has been peaceful ever since. And i am now mentally healthy enough to live a normal life!
@Itshollymoon
@Itshollymoon 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I have C-PTSD from intergenerational trauma and every kind of abuse and attachment trauma you can imagine. Thank you so much.
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@geenamailman5375
@geenamailman5375 3 жыл бұрын
you're very strong, find myself here trying to avoid going to sleep and relate heaps. This video is everything
@sarahgerman8593
@sarahgerman8593 3 жыл бұрын
Feeling your pain. You are loved. Keep the faith!
@lisacurtis8162
@lisacurtis8162 3 жыл бұрын
Me too. God loves, God heals, God loves God heals. Over and over. God bless you.
@ericmeacham9532
@ericmeacham9532 3 жыл бұрын
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families; is an in-depth solution to the pain and, “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel,” many of us have with generational rigid rules and being invisible as children. God Bless ~
@QueenYak
@QueenYak 3 жыл бұрын
“It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet. ” ― Kafka, Franz
@daysjours
@daysjours 5 жыл бұрын
This is a deeply moral and compassionate man
@taralee4576
@taralee4576 2 жыл бұрын
This man is absolutely brilliant. I wish I could meet him and personally thank him for the work he has done. He gets it. And I DEEPLY appreciate that he called out the system that so often misses it and causes further shame for those of us who suffer from trauma, not some other bullshit, not something WRONG with US, but rather what happened to us and how deeply the horrendous shit we experienced imprinted into our very way of being. Period.
@sk.n.9302
@sk.n.9302 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for saying trauma is "imprinted" into our being, this is what it feels like. It's not a choice.
@robbynsmith6190
@robbynsmith6190 Жыл бұрын
Well said.
@maureenbrannon3154
@maureenbrannon3154 3 жыл бұрын
I love the opening of this. He cusses, he's real, and echoes what I have always felt.
@TheBlacksheepbabe
@TheBlacksheepbabe 3 жыл бұрын
Yes!
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@isidoreaerys8745
@isidoreaerys8745 3 жыл бұрын
“If anyone tells you that they have found the answer, then immediately show them the door because that means that they are religious fanatics and they are not really interested in the truth.” Such an important piece of wisdom so willfully denied in so many parts of the word
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 2 жыл бұрын
I'm not so sure. What about justice as the answer?
@Human1136
@Human1136 2 жыл бұрын
Isn't that just atheism? I mean some ppl may benefit off of say... Christianity? Idk
@sanghayogayurveda736
@sanghayogayurveda736 3 жыл бұрын
I am a yoga teacher. yoga meditation has helped my personal healing out of trauma and basically living life peacefully and that is why I became a yoga teacher. much love and light. Preet
@katinss9983
@katinss9983 4 жыл бұрын
I often worry , who supported the wives of these veterans, we never hear about their story and how they coped with their own trauma
@humility1st
@humility1st 4 жыл бұрын
We suffer greatly. My husband became psychotically violent. The MPLS police treated us horrifically (same energy as they did to George Floyd) PTSD since 20's.We were all poisoned with agent orange and have many rare disorders and live with severe pain and shame of society NO HELP! uninsurable because of pre existing condition of being a battered woman and child. I am touched that you cared enough to ask. NObody cares.
@katinss9983
@katinss9983 4 жыл бұрын
@@humility1st am sending much love and care to you and your family. We hear so much about the veterans and how they struggle but nothing of the women and their families and their story. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly . Here are some facebook support groups that can offer support: Combat PTSD veterans families support group, and Support Group for Women Coping with PTSD Combat Veteran Family Members . Go onto facebook and just type it into the search space. I've used facebook support groups for medical and abuse issues I've had and it really helps to chat with others who are going through the same thing. Much love.
@lucybellescott7531
@lucybellescott7531 4 жыл бұрын
That's true, like my mom. She spent most of her time talking her burdens to a friend, while we girls begged for her to get off phone. Families suffer too .. it's a family problem! But I must say .. my mom loved my mom out of that hospital & always worked with him to make good mental choices & they lived out their life always loving one another & dancing. til he got Alzheimers. connected I'm sure.
@jasongentile7542
@jasongentile7542 4 жыл бұрын
I lost my family
@humility1st
@humility1st 4 жыл бұрын
@@jasongentile7542 I am so very sorry. Thank you is so inadequate. I am grateful for your service and very sorry for your suffering. Thank you
@dalhar20
@dalhar20 4 жыл бұрын
I'm tired of living like this. I wish I had connections with people. I want to be vulnerable.
@taramickeymickeranno8725
@taramickeymickeranno8725 4 жыл бұрын
I understand what you mean. being vulnerable is a place of sheer terror for me, thats when they'd get me. Thats when they'd go in for the kill. It's okay, you'll find your way because you want to. I've only just cut contact with one of them, thought it was bad and unloving if I did, now I get it, I'm more important in my life, not them.
@Nevernow721
@Nevernow721 4 жыл бұрын
Totally understand that, dal20.
@HakuCell
@HakuCell 4 жыл бұрын
@dal20 , wow.. i feel ya.. the human need for connection and authenticity and intimacy
@deela262
@deela262 4 жыл бұрын
Rejoice ! You want to open the door of your heart. .!! You want to push off and throw away the dump bags holding it back( fear of the unknown, guilty against feeling good, fear of being rejected, aversion to disappointments , fear of loosing control.....) . It Can be done . Wanting to be free is the first step towards freedom ( from negativity that's keeping heart fromm glowing)
@lucybellescott7531
@lucybellescott7531 4 жыл бұрын
Me too. I'm vulnerable with people very close .. still struggle with ones who seem to have their act together. Being vulnerable is freeing. We just cannot expect another person to respond well & not get hurt or offended. Just speak your truth.
@BarberossaThePirate
@BarberossaThePirate 3 жыл бұрын
14 years with the Canadian Army. Tours to Afghanistan in 07,09,10. My counselor recommended this book. Reading the first Chapter about Vietnam hit me hard with the similarities to the Afghanistan war. War is absolute shit its changed me for the rest of my life. Hit the bottle hard for years to numb the memories and voices in my head. Have had far too many friends who have commit suicide since coming home from a war we never intended on winning.
@alysencameron361
@alysencameron361 3 жыл бұрын
I encountered many US and Canadian Nam-vets at 20 years old. It was heart breaking to listen to them around campfires. It broke my heart to see my inner self being relived in their stories. My father was military. Initiating the change from this heritage began with those born to enact Nam. I dedicated my self to changing from the heritage of sadness with death to happiness with creation. I learned to keep my focus on me through yoga and meditation. After more than 30 years of doing this practice I cleansed my whole being, from self to Self, with the result others speak about me being 'lighter'. I don't get angry or impatient. People say I'm uber-patient. It's fantastic and tells me there is far more to experience into tomorrow with success. It's thriving because the practice is to be patient with oneself. The activity of making things with my hands helps me to being self patient.
@BarberossaThePirate
@BarberossaThePirate 3 жыл бұрын
@@alysencameron361 Great words of wisdom. Thank you for sharing. Still learning to deal with my angry from the guilt and shame. Now I channel it through weight training and intense cardio 5 days a week. Would rather my body feel sore then live in my head all day. It seems so easy to be patient with oneself. Yet its a hard thing to master. We are our own worst enemy within the walls of our head. But I'll never give up.
@USGovIsDistributingCSAM
@USGovIsDistributingCSAM Жыл бұрын
I was a victim of Mk-ultra. I relate soon much. I recommend Suzanne R the hypnosis "letting go of the pain" removed my programmed triggers.
@USGovIsDistributingCSAM
@USGovIsDistributingCSAM Жыл бұрын
​@shawnw3649 They did targeted PsyOp, Various Targeted abuse campaigns, Guilt tripping, Serious Narcissistic abuse. My brain was looped for 8 months resulting in a suicide attempt where I took enough pills I shouldn't have survived. I got a picture of the burn on my head blistered from the ELF exposure.
@USGovIsDistributingCSAM
@USGovIsDistributingCSAM Жыл бұрын
To just name a little bit anyway. The subconscious screwy shit was pretty jacked up. Anyway hope that helps you like it gave me some of my life back.
@moriah1394
@moriah1394 5 жыл бұрын
At about 32 min in he talks about the body's sense of "I'm here, I'm going somewhere and I know where I am going" falling apart, "instinct of purpose" per Pavlov disrupted by trauma. Such a great observation he makes of the relative gait of the veteran. Victim mindset!! That pisses me off because part of the problem with early childhood COMPLEX trauma is that one doesn't develop social skills and then one isolated and DO MAKE YOU A VICTIM not only of ALIENATION but of opportunists who prey on the vulnerable. Learning to protect oneself is a skill set and people need modeling and mentors and stable safe housing to try to regain losses of early childhood complex trauma especially if they are old which is sometimes when trauma comes back and cripples people who had survived through most of adulthood. One this he misses, so far 30 min in, is that sometimes people are in the moment feeling fear NOT just because or only because of the memory of the original trauma but when trauma occurs in early childhood and is continuous it means that the sufferer doesn't get to develop skills, social skills and hobbies etc. and they have a new CURRENT reason for fear; they are so messed up and don't have the conditions in which to now as adults develop those skills.
@thomase13
@thomase13 3 жыл бұрын
Very good point!
@jenrich111
@jenrich111 3 жыл бұрын
Good insight.
@djsmith6037
@djsmith6037 3 жыл бұрын
Very good, you have a good understanding of childhood trauma and its effects.
@GJ-pj4mj
@GJ-pj4mj 3 жыл бұрын
most of the traumatized childs in abusive households are daughters and sons of traumatized parents. In Latinomaerica, where I come from nobody would admit it... and many kids coming to this world from that part of the world, pretty much brings a traumas.
@Charity-vm4bt
@Charity-vm4bt 3 жыл бұрын
@@GJ-pj4mj thanks for observation
@AprilEllerman
@AprilEllerman 3 жыл бұрын
After over 40 years of therapy, EMDR training was helpful in healing my childhood trauma. I’m so thankful to my therapist to introducing me to Dr. van der Kolk and his book, The Body Keeps the Score.
@deborahswart1718
@deborahswart1718 2 жыл бұрын
I simply like him, not because he seems to be a good therapist, but because of how he carries himself.
@RalphTGP
@RalphTGP 4 жыл бұрын
Epiphany moment here for those who have lost loved ones and do not recover from the trauma, partly the trauma becomes a sort of vigil or pennance in remembrance of the loved one. Giving up the pain is perceived as giving up the love... Bessel is a genius.
@sk.n.9302
@sk.n.9302 Жыл бұрын
Take a look at the animal world, they do feel some pain but mostly just move on.
@imag218
@imag218 Жыл бұрын
@@sk.n.9302 Not elephants.
@angelayapchung5288
@angelayapchung5288 Жыл бұрын
This man knows his stuff. He is a true hero - not in his practise to make success solely for himself but to help others to live their best life. Happy that I found his videos.
@Hosamo7
@Hosamo7 4 жыл бұрын
This lecture is priceless. However, If I would brief it with one sentence. It would be this: "The great challenge of our work is how you go inside your self and change your brain and change yourself by becoming friends with your internal experience. " 1:28:00
@Alex-dk1um
@Alex-dk1um 3 жыл бұрын
The fact that over 1M people have watched this is so inspiring.
@MommyCassReborns
@MommyCassReborns 5 жыл бұрын
I was watching random psych vids fell asleep and this auto played. He is brilliant! I woke up to hear this amazing lecture. SPOT ON. I have felt misunderstood, discredited...got very ill with an auto immune illness related to lyme and need mobility devices to get around...I tried meditation before, all sorts of CBT. And I got only worse. And this really validated my feelings! I have worked in a way my whole life to disengage from my body...to escape. I have a mobility service dog that helps also with psych because in public have been attacked verbally and physically and in a way I am looking for which side it is going to come from next. Doctors treat trauma survivors as if they are faking illness...and I hear this and I know...I am ok, and it all makes sense. My body is not broken, it is doing what it needed to do to survive. This guy is a GENIUS. This is the BEST LECTURE EVER.
@orioleaszme3415
@orioleaszme3415 5 жыл бұрын
I wish you every success with your recovery!
@MayaYunaLuna
@MayaYunaLuna 3 жыл бұрын
EMDR changed my life. It should be covered by insurance and it breaks my heart that some people do not have access to it.
@karync.6707
@karync.6707 3 жыл бұрын
I have a friend who gets her EMDR covered on Medi-cal in California...
@ts3858
@ts3858 3 жыл бұрын
Some people want $30,000 to go through a 'trauma program'...not covered by insurance...
@chakkakon
@chakkakon 3 жыл бұрын
@@ts3858 paying 30k to relive trauma does sound traumatic.
@CJ-xe2wi
@CJ-xe2wi 3 жыл бұрын
You're lucky EMDR worked for you. I tried it, but it doesn't seem to work with long term CPTSD.
@ts3858
@ts3858 3 жыл бұрын
@@CJ-xe2wi I'm sorry...I haven't tried the therapy...I hope you find something that works
@TCSCskater
@TCSCskater 2 жыл бұрын
Amazing. This guy is not only thoughtful and empathetic but also politically and socially aware.
@jonathanpredonzan2991
@jonathanpredonzan2991 7 жыл бұрын
Dr Bessel van der Kolk M.D. I can never thank you enough for your book. It has helped me sooo much. I felt understood for the very first time in my life. I finally understood what was happening to me and how to fix it. You probably saved my life. thank you so much
@mnik8501
@mnik8501 3 жыл бұрын
So glad to know that!
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@christians.8354
@christians.8354 3 жыл бұрын
Same here.Excellent book.
@nasimah5823
@nasimah5823 3 жыл бұрын
What is the name of his book?
@mariazalivaka5691
@mariazalivaka5691 Жыл бұрын
@@nasimah5823the body keeps the score
@jkssongs
@jkssongs 7 жыл бұрын
I just LOVE this guy! Doctor, philosopher, writer with a clear head, huge heart and a comedian too.
@adamc.3311
@adamc.3311 7 жыл бұрын
As a survivor of multiple PTSD events/lifelong night terrors, this is RIGHT ON! EMDR significantly altered my awareness - combined w/6 short years of Hatha Yoga,well, there is still a lot to discover, despite now being Night Terror free. *If any studies involve concussion/ptsd healing, please sign me up
@le_th_
@le_th_ 5 жыл бұрын
One of the most useful, interesting and insightful lectures I've ever heard...and I went to UC Berkeley and I've listened to a lot of truly brilliant academians, interesting researchers, politicians, and scientists give talks over the years. You so rarely hear someone being so honest and just telling the unvarnished truth. It's liberating to hear. Thank you to the Center Scene for posting this publicly! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@jmdeking
@jmdeking 2 жыл бұрын
I cannot agree more. This was very insightfull
@charugera7654
@charugera7654 Жыл бұрын
Indian culture, yoga, ayurveda ( and so many more disciplines- meditation, spirtualty etc etc etc.) has sooooooooo much to offer the world. Yoga is such a precise sofisticated science, I am in awe of it. I leave it upto the reader to explore further. I promise anyone who does will not be disappointed!
@Arrasel
@Arrasel 4 ай бұрын
Yoga is a religion. How is that helpful?
@marcelastacey890
@marcelastacey890 2 жыл бұрын
I’m willing to bet that when his father required absolute obedience, it stemmed from his father’s experience that absolute obedience (to that soldier that sent him to the bathroom) actually is what saved his father’s life. Somewhat misguided conclusion, if that’s the reason, nonetheless Bessel turned out amazingly gifted to bless the lives of millions. Thank you van der Kolk family 🙏🏼❤️
@ldc3000
@ldc3000 Жыл бұрын
I came to the same conclusion and felt it made perfect sense.
@Eclectifying
@Eclectifying 8 жыл бұрын
Very helpful information. Yes, the trauma is not out there, it is living inside. Very true.
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@kikiperry4924
@kikiperry4924 3 жыл бұрын
or, it is around us inside so many of our fellow humans; therefore, inside and outside because we are interconnected
@ginawells3721
@ginawells3721 4 жыл бұрын
I have suffered ptsd. After years of therapy it only took the edge off . I then went into Eft with a trained Eft practitioner for a good length of time . It was the only thing that helped !! I can say that I am healed from my ptsd and can talk about my past like i was reading about it with no reaction . This technique is amazing !! It has save my life !!
@stacytemple8827
@stacytemple8827 Жыл бұрын
In the depths of depression, dissociation, and feeling like my life was falling apart; I found this book & bought it. I read it and couldn't believe how my experiences had been explained. I simply thought it was just called depression. I had no way of explaining or understanding the dissociation I was dealing with until I read this book. I didn't know it even had a name and didn't know how to explain it to anybody. I didn't realize that it wasn't just depression, but PTSD that I have been dealing with for the last 37 years. I would also love to be able to try EMDR, but unfortunately live in a very small community that doesn't have any doctors that are trained to do it. I would love to meet, and even experience some therapy sessions with Dr. van der Kolk. I truly believe he could help me how no other doctor has. Thank you so much. This book has really helped shed light on my life and experiences with trauma.
@chrysandram
@chrysandram Жыл бұрын
I’m starting EMDR through video therapy. Would you consider a telehealth appointment vs going in to an office?
@stacytemple8827
@stacytemple8827 Жыл бұрын
@@chrysandram I'm not sure how well it works via video. I guess I'd have to try it before I could say
@cynthiaennis3107
@cynthiaennis3107 3 жыл бұрын
“Developmental trauma is where trauma meets attachment.” - Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk
@lindazulinov9873
@lindazulinov9873 Жыл бұрын
Came from an alcoholic family. Sought help by a therapist who eventually abused his power & sexually abused me. Saw him for 18yrs. Public mental health system denied the abuse. Now in a psych ward trying to find my mobility after a year at home. Don't know if they'll keep me long enough.
@lisarendon4173
@lisarendon4173 10 ай бұрын
We🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉luv you by v tv yv yvy vyvyv y yy vy v yv yvy y y v yv yvy y vyvyvy yvy yvy y y vyv yvy. Yvy yvy yvy yyyhh
@twilit
@twilit 9 ай бұрын
meets DEtachment
@lovlovelle9237
@lovlovelle9237 3 жыл бұрын
'Mind is the builder...' Edgar Cayce Regression therapy has been extremely beneficial in helping overcome past trauma. As soon as my health is better I'll be a certified regression therapist for this so I can help vets with PTSD because I find it absolutely UNACCEPTABLE how many we lose everyday. PLEASE Don't give up!! Healers like me are out there ready to help you HEAL NOT COPE!! 🙏💚
@stormysmom222
@stormysmom222 3 жыл бұрын
In a similar vein, I hope to facilitate healing in others too once I heal myself ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@brandiecaldwell3894
@brandiecaldwell3894 2 жыл бұрын
This man is amazing. He is talking about the life I lived with my father who was abusive to me because he was a disabled Vietnam veteran. I love the way he explains the reaction to abuse and what can cause it. Ive been but on disability for Bipolar Disorder.
@bob1881
@bob1881 3 жыл бұрын
1:08:40 Cannabis + a yoga practice of your choosing also helps PTSD. 1:15:06 "And almost all trauma has to do with not being able to get away."
@starboy2013
@starboy2013 3 жыл бұрын
How interesting.... Can't get away...
@joofark
@joofark 2 жыл бұрын
Wow. Thank you. I had EMDR and it helped tremendously while meds just messed me up more. Because of the meds I got to the point that I didn't trust doctors at all, and to this day I still am distrustful of doctors. I will always be grateful to my 5th or 6th therapist who had taken the time to learn EMDR. It was the first relief I had from the symptoms of PTSD. 40+ years after the main trauma I still have problems, but I think I've healed from most of the PTSD. One last note: The first person to ask a question at the end of the session hit the nail on the head: doctors/therapists far too many times think they know it all and aren't interested in looking for the truth about trauma and what it really does to people and what they actually need to heal. This conference gives me hope.
@cgc1581
@cgc1581 Жыл бұрын
EMDR has changed my life too. I'm so grateful.
@achsahkaleb4844
@achsahkaleb4844 3 жыл бұрын
23 min in. Dr you understand PTSD. Cognitive thinking is zero, go into freeze state, cannot find my words, serotonim levels zero, oxcytocin levels of the chart high. I went through this, I do not wish this on my worst enemy. So grateful to be healed.
@johnparadise3134
@johnparadise3134 3 жыл бұрын
18:59 “Stupid diagnostic system that we basically built up to firm up our relationship with the drug companies”
@estefaniasage2727
@estefaniasage2727 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@rosalindmartin4469
@rosalindmartin4469 3 жыл бұрын
Hmmm... It's not STUPID. It IS the way the businesses worked. If you hate all modern pharmaceuticals then perhaps you are saying something "Stupid." Commerce works that way. And... The very curative powers of chemical combinations keep our modern overworked bodies on the vicious cycle demanded by our societies. 😜 Consider ... we have these peculiar neuronetworks because our evolving developed from croc brains or monkeys or pangolins. Unadapted to many present human circumstances.. Yea. Try Sebastian Junger's tiny book TRIBE as one overview of warring and history. Or read some of Seven Pillars of Wisdom ...T.E. Lawrence's thrilling recollections of his arab desert chieftains and sherifs to give the British dominion over the middle east. Read parts of Lawrence. He did not want war or the responsibilities. I appreciate pacifism. I have Quaker leanings.
@isidoreaerys8745
@isidoreaerys8745 3 жыл бұрын
Sackler family moved 10 billion worth of assets out of Purdue pharma as each year deaths from opioids continue to rise. Capitalism rewards sociopathy
@DeborahMarshall2024
@DeborahMarshall2024 5 жыл бұрын
He is truly amazing, genius. His love and compassion for human suffering and not giving up on them until he got to the truth and not accepting the stereotypes and diagnosis, I am truly grateful to him as trauma survivor, and for other trauma victims who have just started their journey. I found him only at the end of my healing, that is why I know he is a gift to all trauma survivors and psychologists and psychiatrists out there, who dare to challenge and walk down the path less taken. Thank Dr Van der Kolk.
@endlesssky6225
@endlesssky6225 5 жыл бұрын
Dream Big I feel and think the same
@hypsygypsyakjfrasier1558
@hypsygypsyakjfrasier1558 4 жыл бұрын
Meeee toooo! I for the first time ,within my trauma , I feel validated
@orlawalsh1334
@orlawalsh1334 3 жыл бұрын
It’s a pity he is not the norm . Love his work but it’s highly unlikely it would be possible to access someone who has the same perspective .
@jameshall9402
@jameshall9402 5 жыл бұрын
This book was mentioned to me in a therapy session. I, along with my doctor, have had open discussions about trauma and adverse experiences in my childhood. I am astounded that someone like Dr. van der Kolk can finally say the truth out loud, with such confidence and determination, to his peers of which he appears to humbly respect. In watching this, I was relieved that it wasn't another sales pitch or dogmatic in any way. My doctor and I have discussed EMDR, and I believe we are ready to approach this therapy. I was especially pleased when Dr. van der Kolk pointed out "mindfulness". Too often I become exhausted talking and "dealing with myself. Mindfulness is such a great, and forgotten, element in the healing process. We live in a time where so much is available to us in our own healing. I often think to myself, which is more difficult?...climbing the mountain, or descending? Not sure yet, but the view is great either way.
@hmmcinerney
@hmmcinerney 9 ай бұрын
Have a look also at Dr Stephen Porges and Deb Dana. Also Dr Arielle Schwartz does YT yoga videos using Poly vagal theory
@YouTherapy
@YouTherapy 6 жыл бұрын
My treatment approaches have been influenced greatly by Bessel's work, and I continue to learn and grow as a therapist through his books and videos. I really appreciate this being available on KZbin for all to benefit from.
@eileengavinlarsen4509
@eileengavinlarsen4509 8 жыл бұрын
I'm excited to learn about Bessell's research, having spent my entire adult life in therapy and the last 2 decades on meds (I am 55)....and only being able to SURVIVE, when I so want and need to THRIVE. Desperate for relief!
@yootoo222
@yootoo222 8 жыл бұрын
+Eileen Gavin Larsen Hi. Same here, word for word except Im 58. If you want an email bud: yootoo22@yahoo.com.....Al from PA
@eileengavinlarsen4509
@eileengavinlarsen4509 8 жыл бұрын
+yootoo222 Aw, thanks! Started reading his book and am amazed at the amount of research and progress that has happened just in the last 30 years, allowing me to understand a bit more why I feel I "slipped through the cracks." First EMDR session this coming week! Wishing you well, too...
@jamesstarseed7885
@jamesstarseed7885 8 жыл бұрын
+Eileen Gavin Larsen The BodyTalk System
@jamesmaclean3222
@jamesmaclean3222 8 жыл бұрын
Get off the meds ,as long as you are on them you can not heal. Be the pain even if it takes 10 years you will heal THROUGH the pain ,the stuff hidden away the stuff you hid away. Pray -here is a mantra for you OM NAMO BHAGVATE VASDEVAYA.get up at dawn and pray. I am speaking from experience i have read every self help book seen a lot of analysts but the last place i looked was within that`s where the answer lies.if you know you have a wound that will never heal then at least its conscious love the wound good luck
@edheldude
@edheldude 7 жыл бұрын
See MAPS.org and their research on MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD.
@RobinDivine777
@RobinDivine777 6 жыл бұрын
It feels like I am an extrovert trapped in an introvert's mindset along with reliving traumatic events from my childhood daily, I am easily triggered and hyper vigilant hence I have this intrinsic need to keep myself safe from being hurt, bullied, taken advantage of etc. I don't allow people to become close to me at all, my boundaries are metaphorically speaking, astronomical! I've been having psychotherapy for around 4 years now, it's been very useful to gain much awareness with clarity about the multiple layers of trauma I've endured even before I was born.
@mezznj
@mezznj 5 жыл бұрын
afx777 me too
@sharonahartley
@sharonahartley 4 жыл бұрын
The extrovert feelings and introverted mindset could mean you are an infj personality, you can do a test Myers Briggs, it really helped me and helped me to heal finding out who I am, hope this helps.
@matekalaluka1115
@matekalaluka1115 4 жыл бұрын
Me too
@leahc8347
@leahc8347 4 жыл бұрын
Multiple layers of traumas, - this! 🤯 Sending love ❤
@leahc8347
@leahc8347 4 жыл бұрын
Extrovert trapped in an intoverts mindset. This, nicely said. Relatable. Might be also right the lady that mentioned about INFJ (and Empath too?) . All the best x
@jonasking9587
@jonasking9587 4 жыл бұрын
As a veteran and victim of most types of traumatic experiences, it is so frustrating to try and get real help. I read the book, and I kept thinking "Wow. A lot of these stories were related to actual doctors." I always get a social worker.
@JT0007
@JT0007 4 жыл бұрын
23:00 he talks about remembering and then how the frontal lobe is affected. I thought I was just randomly regressing.
@robertcrusher1972
@robertcrusher1972 4 жыл бұрын
Just an FYI for people that startle. There's several loud and unexpected noises in this.
@MiauxCatterie
@MiauxCatterie 4 жыл бұрын
i appreciate you
@elsablue3646
@elsablue3646 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@ej-fo8pd
@ej-fo8pd 3 жыл бұрын
Ironic. Thank you.
@joans6047
@joans6047 3 жыл бұрын
How kind of you to give a warning & prepare others. Bless you!
@lorrainem8234
@lorrainem8234 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@TheOfficialPink
@TheOfficialPink 8 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING US AND NOT JUDGING. I BELIEVE IN HIGHER LEARNING AND REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LIFE WORK..
@STEAMLabDenver
@STEAMLabDenver 4 жыл бұрын
Ahhhh! Bessel is so spot on with how and why people get diagnosed with some mental illnesses. People are more complex than that. Most doctors I have encountered do not ask these deeper questions and the ones that do are stuck in an unhealthy medical system and culture. Many doctors think you are crazy if you want to talk about deeper causes for health problems. I have experienced this a lot.
@PalomaNegra873
@PalomaNegra873 5 жыл бұрын
I absolutely love his book. It has helped me as a psychology student, one who has dealt with childhood trauma, and becoming a good foster mom. I wish I could attend one of his lecture.
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@inuchan74
@inuchan74 3 жыл бұрын
I have no idea how I got here. I took the trash out, came back in and it was playing. I was searching for something to listen to while I wrap presents and his words caught my attention quickly. Amazing speaker, unfortunately I know many other people besides myself who would benefit from this.
@notadonna5983
@notadonna5983 4 жыл бұрын
We have a social norm of giving our power away to authorities. Yoga is self-empowering. Hatha yoga with a thoughtful teacher has tremendous value. I want to go on a vipasana retreat.
@nancyhonea1935
@nancyhonea1935 Жыл бұрын
37:54 Thank you for being our voice.
@THEROOTMATTERS
@THEROOTMATTERS 2 жыл бұрын
I agree we lost our perspective about human beings, if we have had the correct perspective in the first place. Thank you, Dr.
@annalouausten6297
@annalouausten6297 6 жыл бұрын
Can’t put his book down. Now I listen to him....I can’t stop watching/listening....his voice and words are lovely. So soothing.
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@anoracleorium9000
@anoracleorium9000 5 жыл бұрын
This is one of the most profound talks on trauma I’ve heard to date. Thank you for sharing.
@fjmacscully
@fjmacscully 3 жыл бұрын
Great talk. I went through a very difficult time ten years ago where I lost my business, my house during the crash. I had worked for thirty years. I was devastated and ended up on medication for depression and anxiety. I regret the day I ever started taking these because now I am hooked on a load of stuff. I am still very unwell and have lost all motivation. I cannot concentrate to do anything productive. Having listened to this talk I am going to seek out some talk therapy and try to learn more about Mindfulness and meditation. I wish you all the best.
@carladenhoed794
@carladenhoed794 3 жыл бұрын
Talk therapy alone, only brings your body back in state off emergency. So you really have to do it with EMDR. I heard some great things off it. But I really recommend you, to go to www.wimhofmethod.com and watch on KZbin: You believe in the wrong things, that’s why you suffer | Wim Hof | Top 10 rules. It won’t cost you any money, you can help yourself. Greetings from Holland
@CelebrateYourCatcom
@CelebrateYourCatcom 3 жыл бұрын
@@carladenhoed794 Thank you for posting this information, I plan to head over and check that out also. Best Regards from Florida, USA
@alisoncarey8692
@alisoncarey8692 3 жыл бұрын
Fintan I went through a similar experience. I avoided the doctors as I didn't want the medication they prescribe. Its been 5 yrs since my world fell apart and only now am I feeling more myself. Its a long journey and obviously the rise on the way up, is a lot slower than the hitting rock bottom. I know you understand this too well. Therapy can help and look into your diet too, you'd be surprised what small changes can do for your concentration and energy and helping with sleep patterns. Obviously we all have different needs so its all about try and see what works for you. And its a great way of doing something for yourself. Hope you find that special peace we all want, really do, trauma ain't no joke and wish others would understand that. Wishing you a fruitful future
@rubytuesday7653
@rubytuesday7653 3 жыл бұрын
I wish you the best.🌿
@aaymathebest4705
@aaymathebest4705 3 жыл бұрын
You don't need medication in normal depression or in normal trauma...just try to adopt few hobbies,You will feel ok,also try to keep busy ypurself in house work or in any hobby or in any small job...only medication need like in sczophernia when sczophernia people need to get hospitalized...
@kellymeashey7730
@kellymeashey7730 2 жыл бұрын
Truly amazing soul who sees beyond black and white and swims like a salmon. I can't wait to read his book. I just want to put a word in for music. I am a music therapist pursuing my doctorate in music therapy. I have been working with developmental trauma for the past 20 years...music needs to be on the list with martial arts and acting as a medium which can safely promote connection to one's inner world and ability to be still. It is a beautiful profession which is little uinderstood.
@lucila00gp76
@lucila00gp76 4 жыл бұрын
I’m not exactly sure what I love the most the incredible amounts of truth that comes out of his mouth or the fact he couldn’t care less about other people compliments. Thank you For making my life a better place to be 🎉🙏
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@helenyates3951
@helenyates3951 3 жыл бұрын
This is brilliant CBT Has never been so overused in the UK. It's the only therapy offered free. This is a disgrace as there are so many brilliant people like this man. I'm a body psychotherapist and I fully aware of all these factors Another good point Traumatised people are often told about meditation and these people are often retraumatised when they meditate. Excellent talk.
@DoggyDoula
@DoggyDoula 2 жыл бұрын
This man is speaking so much truth the world needs to hear. I wish he could explain it to my sons school!
@loriandcrew3216
@loriandcrew3216 4 жыл бұрын
Yoga, mindfulness, Metta practice, brisk walking outside, EMDR, and various other self-care helped me. I have severe dissociation due to childhood torture by mom and the people she associated with -after years of self-medication to numb the emotional pain, tame anxiety, and PTSD symptoms, followed by prescribed meds for anxiety sleep and depression I’m off all meds, pushing myself to have human relationships and am generally a happy person. Bessel is awesome and I plan on buying The Body Keeps the Score.
@tulinbeyduz920
@tulinbeyduz920 3 жыл бұрын
My mother abused me as a child . I always have a terrible feeling of being suffocated . I spent 10 years in foster care . I’ve decided to cut ties with my mother . She doesn’t acknowledge any of the abuse and that I’ve made it all up . Have you cut ties with your mom ? Did she ever apologize ?
@loriandcrew3216
@loriandcrew3216 3 жыл бұрын
@@tulinbeyduz920 Hi Tui, my mother died ten years ago, but I didn't cut her out of my life. She never apologized. My mom smothered me numerous times, and inflicted various forms of torture on me. It is my opinion you made the right decision in cutting the ties.
@tulinbeyduz920
@tulinbeyduz920 3 жыл бұрын
Lori Passarelli May I ask if your mother was diagnosed with mental illness ? Did she have a traumatic experience with her parents ? My mother is sickly nice to me that I’m older .. but only so she benefits . She doesn’t accept any gifts I buy her and loves to buy me lots of little trinkets , as if to show me she is a good mother in her head .
@loriandcrew3216
@loriandcrew3216 3 жыл бұрын
@@tulinbeyduz920 We can only speculate, BPD, Narc traits, Sadistic, possibly DID
@tulinbeyduz920
@tulinbeyduz920 3 жыл бұрын
Lori Passarelli 🌻
@cherchuhaikieu4328
@cherchuhaikieu4328 5 жыл бұрын
I had two EMDR treatments at Kaiser Santa Teresa. After the 2nd session the doctor told me I should experience less nightmares and feel better. Instead not only the nightmares increased horrifically but I started hallucinating seeing horrible images while I’m awake. It was 24/7 of hell. The doctors decided to stop the treatment after 2 sessions. They put me on very high dose Wellbutrin, Lexapro, and Gabapentin all at once. Somehow I got 2 prolong seizures each 30min apart. The 2nd seizure wiped out my memory for days. They took me off Wellbutrin and lexapro and put me on Prozac and anti seizure meds. Recovery wasn’t easy. When I hear of EMDR or antidepressant medications I get goosebumps and my stomach hurts!
@Jaebee2626
@Jaebee2626 2 жыл бұрын
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing 🫶🏼have you ever heard of somatic experiencing? Dr. Peter Levine? If you like this guy, maybe check it out.
@lilah3078
@lilah3078 Жыл бұрын
I know your comment is old but I have been doing EMDR for years and I also got some side effects such as nightmares and increased anxiety. Then through trauma experts' (e. g. Peter Levine, Bessel Van der Kolk, Ruth Lanius) videos and books I found out that EMDR like many therapy methods should not be done on its own to treat complex and severe trauma. As Bessel says, it is just a tool. I started combining it with Somatic Experiencing exercises from Levine's audio books and feel much better since then. Now I actually experience waves of joy and lightness after EMDR sessions and am thinking of doing some SE in-person sessions as well as neurofeedback to enhance the effect. I hope you've also found something that helps and are doing better now.
@hazelkitty27
@hazelkitty27 5 жыл бұрын
I picked this book up a year ago after a major clinical event that I still suffer from. Haven't read much of it but I found it very comforting considering nobody believes my physical body sensations, they all think I'm lying.
@pashmpoosh
@pashmpoosh 7 жыл бұрын
If you are looking for books on this topic the first one you I recommend is Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery" as a foundation. Then Dr Van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score". There are other books too of course but these two are a must read in my opinion. Others can feel free to add ones they recommend. I hope those of us hurt in our past can find healing and rest for our souls and bodies.
@richardburt9812
@richardburt9812 5 жыл бұрын
My thinks exactly the same. She just recently discovered Herman--also on youtube.
@richardburt9812
@richardburt9812 5 жыл бұрын
conversations.berkeley.edu/herman_2000
@richardburt9812
@richardburt9812 5 жыл бұрын
my wife.
@kerryholland4822
@kerryholland4822 4 жыл бұрын
Pat Ogden 'Trauma and the Body' 👍
@kirstinstrand6292
@kirstinstrand6292 4 жыл бұрын
I've succeeded in healing my soul, but only after experiencing a brain aneurysm and surgical stroke in my 50's. Psychiatry was mostly useless, but it did teach me how to think, feel, and connect the dots. I truly believe that we must treat ourselves, even if it requires self isolation, during retirement years - when we have time to spend on one's self.
@marcusnl66
@marcusnl66 7 жыл бұрын
22:17 - finding their way back? It's something I hear all the time. What if there's nothing to go back to? What if you were exposed to trauma at a very young age, how then will you find your way back ... back to what exactly? What if trauma occurred at such a young age that a verbal explanation is impossible? What if the person you've become is completely intertwined with your trauma, not knowing who you would have become without the trauma?
@DarkMoonDroid
@DarkMoonDroid 7 жыл бұрын
1:38:33 Last question.
@marcusnl66
@marcusnl66 7 жыл бұрын
Jennifer Grove Wow, it's a typical Dutch answer, almost rude. Then again, the question was focusing on pre birth trauma. My concern was more related to a chronic trauma which started at a very young age.
@Drstrange3000
@Drstrange3000 7 жыл бұрын
I want to know the very same question! Glad you brought it up. I was exposed to trauma at probably the earliest age someone could experience it. It is all I know.
@IIIUTUBEIII
@IIIUTUBEIII 7 жыл бұрын
as i know you can got to very early trauma and prenatal trauma with holotropic breathwork. look up stanislav groff.
@NataliePierson1
@NataliePierson1 6 жыл бұрын
Hi Marcus. I think that when the trauma starts so early it becomes more a matter of finding the real you. Once you finally feel safe in your surroundings, safe with people, safe in your body, then you can start to find out who you are without the fear and the trauma responses. You can find the things you like, the things you're good at, new relationships, and hopefully start to feel more and enjoy your life more.
@mariamassey5468
@mariamassey5468 Жыл бұрын
"When ur traumatised you feel powerless x defenceless, doing things that give you power, particularly things that are very close to what robbed you of YOUR POWER in the first place is an astounding way in which you can rewire your brain" (1:22:15).🐻🐼🦊
@2012Cheetah
@2012Cheetah Жыл бұрын
I’ve been in bed w/pneumonia & RSV. Fell asleep listening to another lecture & woke up to hear this amazing angel. I have been a yoga/meditation teacher since early 1970’s. Starting back in therapy again for ptsd, anxiety & depression, along w/newly diagnosed ADD. Will buy his book now.
@sarijarvinen5425
@sarijarvinen5425 4 жыл бұрын
This is exactly what I've waiting to hear all my life AMEN!
@unumstrategies
@unumstrategies 6 жыл бұрын
The number of times I said "Holy Shit!" while listening to this... lost count. Incredible. Thank you.
@Carlos-sr8km
@Carlos-sr8km 4 жыл бұрын
C'mon just because he swears doesn't take away his credibility, that's not good for you is it?
@leahc8347
@leahc8347 4 жыл бұрын
@@Carlos-sr8km I understood it as "she" (quote "I said ") "holy sh*t" because it was "incredible". Try not to search for hate where there is none. Your mission to eliminate hate is a good and noble one, but searching for it is not good for you either. Blessings, and have a good day.
@gabriellebaalke6704
@gabriellebaalke6704 4 жыл бұрын
Me, too. The more I cuss the more I'm invested. Weird but true.
@wellnesspathforme6236
@wellnesspathforme6236 3 жыл бұрын
@@Carlos-sr8km You misread the OP completely.
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
@baconlatte
@baconlatte 8 жыл бұрын
Love this guy and his common sense and refuting of conventional nonsense. Just started the book. So far excellent.
@letsclaire-ify1791
@letsclaire-ify1791 4 жыл бұрын
His book did indeed bring everything together for me and make everything make sense.
@nomebear
@nomebear 3 жыл бұрын
I received almost immediate relief from anxiety and depression through an outpatient program through the VA that used a combination of Tapas and EMDR. The first session was miraculous, the relief was immediate, and two following sessions were what I would call "clean up" of lessor "isms" that were not addressed in the initial visit in 2015. In 7 years since the sessions I have experienced ups and downs, but nothing lasting. I live life as a whole, productive, and useful person who is free of the baggage.
@AshleyMintz
@AshleyMintz 4 жыл бұрын
Wow, I just woke up from a vivid dream where I was being physically abused (like I was as a kid). Woke up crying, streams of tears coming down my face. I had fallen asleep to another KZbin video and woke up, cried and then went to the homepage on KZbin and this video shows up!
@alysencameron361
@alysencameron361 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for allowing that to happen in your awareness. It's tough to experience, but you not only survived it, it causes you to feel lighter, right?
@AshleyMintz
@AshleyMintz 3 жыл бұрын
@@alysencameron361 Yes, usually the morning after, and throughout the day, I do feel better and lighter. In the moment though, the dreams are scary and the feelings are too.
@dudegreg
@dudegreg 8 жыл бұрын
Begins at 4:45
@DarkMoonDroid
@DarkMoonDroid 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@jovialfaltisco548
@jovialfaltisco548 4 жыл бұрын
Too long intro tho she's alright.
@Madi4321
@Madi4321 4 жыл бұрын
I’m like get to the goddamn point
@RebeccaLynnMusic
@RebeccaLynnMusic 4 жыл бұрын
@@alegriart I agree.
@tKrome
@tKrome 4 жыл бұрын
Omg thank you
@blackpoppymagazine
@blackpoppymagazine 4 жыл бұрын
What a wonderful, complete, overarching yet thorough, talk about Trauma and mental health from Dr VanderVolk! So rare today to stop engrossed on KZbin for an hour and a half! Sooo worth it! So encouraging as well but in a very critical way. A speech for therapists and scientists and anyone affected by trauma. Thank god for people in this crazy web of the 'treatment/science' like Dr V. Thank u also to everyone who made this to share with others (-and accessible for free to the audience there).
@rajeevkulageri
@rajeevkulageri 5 жыл бұрын
This was mind blowing.... Have spent almost a decade to understand what was wrong with me.
@judithhetherington420
@judithhetherington420 3 жыл бұрын
Love in trauma - powerful statements. We hear so much about Stockholm syndrome - but what about the child who genuinely loves their parent? Growing up in a home where both love & abuse existed, being grounded in love was the anchor that kept me stable. We have much to learn about forgiveness, with appropriate boundaries, in healing from trauma.
@Captain_MonsterFart
@Captain_MonsterFart 2 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@RosanneSol
@RosanneSol 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. Things aren´t so black and white. Like Taylor Swift writes in her song ´happiness´: "There'll be happiness after you. But there was happiness because of you. Both of these things can be true. There is happiness. In our history, across our great divide" And in the bridge section she has this powerful line: "I can't make it go away by making you a villain" This song was such a healing moment for me. Took me a long time to get to this point.
@rachelk4805
@rachelk4805 Жыл бұрын
Cringe. Love and abuse coexisting just created an expectation that people who genuinely love you are also going to harm you and that's ok, because you deserve it. This is why abused children get into abusive relationships as adults. You don't owe anybody your forgiveness, and it isn't helpful in the sense that the expectation is continued vulnerability to someone who is NOT safe. Forgiving in the sense of "just let it go" also is NOT helpful, it is like telling a depressed person to just smile. It doesn't fix things.
@alvodin6197
@alvodin6197 Жыл бұрын
Rachel K Agreed. One thing is forgiving someone who is in communication and acknowledges the neglect abuse they imposed, but automatically forgiving and thinking love trump's abuse, sounds more like denial.
@robbynsmith6190
@robbynsmith6190 Жыл бұрын
@@rachelk4805 I believe she’s explaining many of us grow up with both love and abuse, and in order to survive, we clung to the love. As adults, we want to get past the pain of abuse, so we learn to forgive, not for them, but for us, so we can be whole. Forgiveness in no way condones abuse. Forgiveness frees the victim of divorce.
@DreamsOfFinland
@DreamsOfFinland 5 жыл бұрын
wonderful. His calmness and voice is comforting, very helpful. I see his book is on youtube. Rape is so common and yet no one mentions the source for the hate men feel that drives them to rape women, maybe if society took it seriously and made boys attend some kind of class so we had less rape? instead of women having to go through it and then learn to be martial artists to walk out of libraries, that might be healing. Just saying, all the work and suffering and finding a way to function again is on the person traumatized.
@joanlynch5271
@joanlynch5271 4 жыл бұрын
People should turn in their family and friends who perpetrate such things.
@lizafield9002
@lizafield9002 4 жыл бұрын
Well said. I wish everyone had your clarity of seeing & thinking.
@margicates553
@margicates553 4 жыл бұрын
I agree, however many men experience sexual violence as well. We make it harder for them to heal when we cateragize rape as a “ male crime”. I am a rape(s) survivor. And I have been very angry at the men who hurt me. But I must remember and be compassionate to all the male victims out there.
@johnrockwell5834
@johnrockwell5834 4 жыл бұрын
Men get raped the most in prison. Then they turn that anger onto everyone else outside of that prison once they are released.
@mariafatimamacalintal9625
@mariafatimamacalintal9625 4 жыл бұрын
It was mentioned like history repeats itself. Example was the father who was a soldier and kept comparing his kids to his dead comrades. The son soon joined the army and he repeats the same to his own kids.
@jpmoneydollars
@jpmoneydollars 4 жыл бұрын
God bless this wonderful man
@damiendavisisraelcom8603
@damiendavisisraelcom8603 3 жыл бұрын
Why, they blocked the most essential parts of the video.
@darrebell3086
@darrebell3086 3 жыл бұрын
@@damiendavisisraelcom8603 it said in black and white they did not show it in order to protect the confidentiality of the patience or people in the clip.
@OhHapppyDaay
@OhHapppyDaay 3 жыл бұрын
Spread your arms up to the sky, in the gesture of joy. “Now… Try to feel like shit”. LOL I did it. I didn’t feel like shit. I’m gonna make it a daily habit...along with skipping🧁 Doing it now. 🎠
@goertzpsychiatry9340
@goertzpsychiatry9340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZTMoHaggqqkqK8
The 7 SURPRISING Ways To Heal Trauma WITHOUT MEDICATION | Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk
1:31:28
OMG what happened??😳 filaretiki family✨ #social
01:00
Filaretiki
Рет қаралды 13 МЛН
Happy birthday to you by Tsuriki Show
00:12
Tsuriki Show
Рет қаралды 11 МЛН
7 Days Stranded In A Cave
17:59
MrBeast
Рет қаралды 86 МЛН
Healing Trauma and Spiritual Growth: Peter Levine & Thomas Huebl
56:23
Science and Nonduality
Рет қаралды 393 М.
Bessel van der Kolk - How Trauma Lodges in the Body, Revisited
50:48
The On Being Project
Рет қаралды 34 М.
Dr. Gabor Maté: The Myth of Normal & The Power of Connection | Wholehearted
1:09:08
The 2014 Merle Jordan Conference - Dr. Bessel van der Kolk - Session 3
1:21:16
Complex Trauma: Understanding and Treatment - Diane Langberg
51:15
Van der kolk - Childhood adversity and attachment disruptions: Restoration by establishing synchrony
2:23:46
11 Oddly Specific Childhood Trauma Issues
39:03
Patrick Teahan
Рет қаралды 4,5 МЛН
OMG what happened??😳 filaretiki family✨ #social
01:00
Filaretiki
Рет қаралды 13 МЛН