Your Body Keeps Score! - Unhealed Trauma Making You Feel Lost, Addicted, Stressed | Dr. Bessel

[@joecaner]

To all survivors of childhood trauma...I salute you.

[@leregardmazarine]

❤

[@renatacroatia]

❤

[@kathycarlson7947]

❤❤❤

[@mandylee7377]

Thank you. Truly.

[@chafaq]

We salute you back ❤

[@brys.3131]

I have PTSD from my sociopathic parent sexually abusing me several times, tried to shoot me with a loaded gun, tortured my dog in front of me, isolated me into believing no one loved me as a kid and tried to make me solely dependent on them while exacting brutal whippings and mental torture, terrified us with violence often, and when I tried to get help, gaslighted half my family into disowning me. I'm 41 now and have never been married or had kids, but I have my own kind of life and find connection with my pets, music, and some friends. But I'm still afraid I'll be a failure of a partner and parent and have no idea how to date because I'm developmentally challenged. Still just trying to survive day to day. I hope to get into therapy at some point and make some progress. Please be loving to those around you and care for one another. Life is hard. But there is hope. We must keep believing. ❤❤

[@eriamhsl3841]

You don't need to trauma dump.

[@christinarosadoni7864]

@@eriamhsl3841ummmm this is a comment section specifically under a video discussing “trauma” as the main topic. If there is a comment section to drop some trauma, this is the place

[@christinarosadoni7864]

also, thank you so much for sharing your experience. Can’t imagine going through what you went through, but want you to know that you are a hundred trillion percent deserving of all the love ❤️❤️ don’t deny people the gift to give love to you, there’s always time to write new futures. The future doesn’t need to look like the past. I hope your gentle soul is being nourished and wherever you are I’m sending you warmth

[@anio1349]

​@@christinarosadoni7864Best response ever!

[@lamusica1592]

@@eriamhsl3841 shut up

[@Mystic_Paths]

Feeling empty inside is a signal that something in your life needs attention, whether it’s a lack of meaning, unprocessed emotions, disconnection from others, or unresolved personal issues

[@Bawkr]

What if someone very dear to you was taken and you have no way of getting them back. They're still alive but can't get them back for now, there is no action but preparing for a potential but not guaranteed meeting them again. How do you resolve it, what needs to be done?

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

How do you know what?

[@Bawkr]

@@rosemaryclarke2348 Wow get a cup of coffee or move along xD

[@karenlewkowitz5858]

Huh? ​@@rosemaryclarke2348

[@karenlewkowitz5858]

​@@Bawkrgood one. Not expensive, gets one out and a usually a smile. Not for everyone - suggested goin for coffee to a fam member and got chewed out for half an hour - how it is a waste of time and better to work... But shouting for half an hour is ok?? Dummy me- I should have hung up the phone

[@FredFox-m9v]

PTSD, pure and simple. My wife died when she was 38, of cervical cancer. We had two young boys at the time. The experience of watching my wife turn brown, shrivel like a leaf and die a painful death, completely overwhelmed me. 25 years later, although time has numbed my experience of the event, I have never got over it and never will. To lose your closest friend and life partner in such a way, I defy anybody to cope with.

[@Pinballwzd]

Sending you peace and love brother 🙏🌻

[@jaycelente3342]

Your comment touched me. My partner died from a rare form of cancer at the age of 25...this happened 20 years ago. I recall her going through treatment after a late diagnosis being told she had 6 months to live. I crumbled internally and did the best to support her at the time, but unbeknown to me i was already suffering with PTSD from early family trauma (regular exposure to DV) that has manifested as a sleeping disorder throughout my life. My coping methods were self destructive going from being a extrovert to a introvert and self isoloating after her death. Now aged over 50 post ptsd diagnosis (primary and secondary) Im finally clean of any substance abuse and regular sleep patterns have returned. Now personally feel there is a great void to fill but unsure of the journey ahead as its a lonley path...putting a brave face on it since i feel as though I've already lost everything that was important to me. But seeing you comment does offer hope in the basic principle that you were privileged to have that connection with your wife as many folk do not experience that intimacy. Consider that her spiritual force was needed elsewhere in our vast galaxy or beyond and maybe you will meet again. Today I put on foot in front of the other by working to rebuild myself by using daily podcasts and exercise as a start. Keep well and know the universe loves you. Take care my friend!

[@FredFox-m9v]

@jaycelente3342 thank you !

[@kathycarlson7947]

I am so sorry. Sending healing energy

[@plym1969]

So sorry to read this. Can you say how your children's lives have been affected by their mother's death.

[@kathycarlson7947]

This man's work changed my life. After i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, my dear friend recommended his book. Reading it led me on a new journey of healing. I'm still benefiting. Thank you.

[@karinturkington2455]

i get comfort from knowing that Besel exists in this world.

[@greenthumb8266]

We, as a species, have neglected the importance of kindness, compassion and honesty and the fundamental role these traits play in civilized society. One kind person in a child’s life, one reliable and consistent healthy minded individual can make all the difference. Be that person. Peace

[@SusannaBearfoot1]

I have acupuncture regularly. One of the benefits is on-going connection with my therapist. He knows, sees and hears me. This has a huge effect on my health and well-being on top of the excellent treatments. He is also my Qi Gong teacher. I'm 82 with quite a bit of trauma in my history.

[@jeannettestuckelschwaiger5071]

Do you have acupuncture and gi quong every week? if I may ask. Im 77, always wanted to do thé same therapy you do.

[@chafaq]

Trauma and the unity of mind and body and how interconnected they are is a very underrated topic. It's astonishing how much trauma defines us and shapes our world view. I'm grateful to be aware of it at age of 40 after letting it unconsciously guide my life through substance abuse and dysfunctional relationships. Healing and growing are the cornerstones of a healthy life. I'm so grateful for Bessel and Gabor mate's books. These guys are a blessing ❤

[@abidamerani1693]

Dr. B is the best in explaining traumas. No other has ever been as great as him. Thank you. My body is still keeping the trauma score but I try and beat to win.

[@chrisnam1603]

he is oh i respect him so much, you can also check dr Ramani, she is great as well

[@loulh7899]

Yes, love yourself 😊

[@artynegelen786]

Peter Levine 🥰

[@VijayMC-no8er]

For everyone reading this, finding the banned book called “the hidden herbs” by anette ray should be your top priority

[@DineshVanjara-vp1ic]

thanks

[@shaikmohdirfan]

great book, unfortunately this industry is all about profit, nothing more, nothing less

[@sodhamanidhkumar2675]

I finished that book 2 weeks ago and I can say that is amazing book. Would also recommend it.

[@maheshrawat7564]

read it a few days ago, its great

[@SheikhAfaq-pl4jf]

thanks

[@serenaslattery3631]

It is not generally realised that PTSD is a Disability and can ruin a life outside the normal sufferers - War Veterans, Paramedics. I was abandoned by both parents in my childhood, a severely mentally ill mother to a horrific suicide, the last of several attempts from when I was 5 years old. I then had to be raised by extended family who didn't want me. The additional bullying at school and stigma for years meant I had to see a Child Psychologist with suicidal thoughts of my own,failing my school work, not fitting in and between terrified/depressed. Then had over 20 years care of grandparents from my 20s and diagnosed with x5 chronic illnesses including PTSD and Fibromyalgia /CFS. If someone has not been dealt certain cards they have no idea of this Life path.

[@lindamay1]

Dear Serena you are amazing. I so hope you are healing even a little. Nobody should endure that. 😢 Sending so much love. Xx

[@kalankaneni]

I can't believe how normal we still think that relationships are usually shit and we hurt each other all the time and still look at people who don't want relationships as weirdos.Maybe single people are single for a good reason,and this good reason is that we are not capable of "relationships"

[@punyashloka4946]

That's a very negative take.

[@empress9857]

Which is 100 fine if that’s there choice

[@micellea]

I would like to say that yes, people who choose to be single may think it’s better off being single cause they aren’t meant to be in a relationship. There’s many great people who became saints or mentors or whatever and they’re single. Everyone has their reasons and not everyone wants to be in a relationship. There’s more to life than being with someone else. Me personally, can accept the fact that I’m not capable of being in a relationship. I’ve had many. I’m to the point where I’m looking at myself and have realized that relationships really aren’t for me. I can see where I’ve been in the wrong many times and well I need to work on myself and heal before I even think about being in a relationship again.

[@joshy2joshy]

Emotionally healthy people will remain single until they find an equal candidate also. Some people know they can't handle relationships and that's okay, they're taking accountability.

[@trippingwithmelody4297]

Love Bessel. I happen to be lifting weights at the gym while listening to Bessel say how he doesn't like lifting weights hahah. Bessel I get my social feedback by listening to podcasts while at the gym 😉

[@treenacostin3240]

Bless you Bessel. Even with the FDA and the DSM5 disappointments, you are still out there fighting the fight that needs to be fought against ignorant people and old bureaucracies. As a trauma specialist myself with 4 different modalities and currently learning another one. I applaud you for your advocacy for body based therapies.🙏

[@LivMorYes]

I’m sharing with everyone I can! I’m a psychology major and grief coach as well as a child abuse and grief survivor and this video was profound!

[@mariaavery1212]

Very educational. The severity of external drama frequently has to do with the existing internal drama. This kind of drama takes longer to heal.

[@RUsureUR]

@mariaavery1212 It demands a lot of creativity too on the healing. Often, the one healing has 100% of their dialogue efficiency on their shoulders. After all, it's an exchange, not one-sided. 'When you finally learn that your behavior has more to do with your own internal struggle than with others, you learn grace.' And "When you finally learn that a person's behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than you do, you learn grace."

[@megm.c4026]

Love this man!! Ive finally made sense of my awful chronic fatigue symptoms through his (and others) work. His opening comments reflect my daily experience of life..and with family violence you are on your own dealing with the fall out. Fear overwhelms and help is not easy to find....then these wonderful people appear to help you make sense of it all. The positive impact on lives this man has is so extraudinary for so many of us.

[@mrfacespace]

The discussion becomes more interesting around the 35 minute mark. I think it would have been better if Bessel gave some examples of how repressed feelings continue to have an effect on our experiences, perceptions, and identity.

[@sharminimanamendra9223]

Dr Rangan, You are such a beautiful human being. So kind and genuine. And Dr Bessel your work is life changing

[@lornalaurie278]

My childhood family life had all of the characteristics he described as a healthy family life, and it was very enriching and exciting, and yet there was still an enormous amount of abuse. My parents ruined our lives

[@angelwings7930]

Probably someone ruined theirs as well.

[@mnw5240]

You have every right to the feelings you have, I just offer a reframe… what would it mean to say “my parents ruined our lives, up to this point”?

[@lornalaurie278]

@@angelwings7930Yes, I know what my mother went through, my father I don’t know, but that doesn’t change what their union produced.

[@lornalaurie278]

@@mnw5240I was just giving the short answer. Personally, I was the lucky winner to be their chosen one, which came with a mountain of burden, but still allowed me to escape with enough tools to have a « normal » life. My sister and two brothers not so lucky.

[@angelwings7930]

@@lornalaurie278 That’s life.

[@punyashloka4946]

Bassel vander kolk, great guy. Given a lot of hope to trauma survivers 😊.

[@imbolc8024]

Dr VDK is one of the number ones in the world on this (horrible) topic, i'm so grateful (he is Dutch from Netherlands), hopefull greetings from Flanders

[@vishimishra8345]

The idea that humans are originally "tribe-oriented" or "social" doesn't always click with people from trauma / dysfunctional backgrounds. For some, this idea brings to mind isolation, harsh criticism, and shame. Personally, I'm better aligned, focused and motivated when trying / practising things alone. The idea of functioning in a group is counterproductive most of the time.

[@ToshanaHR]

Agree

[@karinhedman6903]

Agree. Brene Browns latest thoughts on this, the importance of belonging to one self, has been very helpful to me🙏🏼

[@peacefulisland67]

The subtle "invitation" to change is key and indeed has been in well maintained 12 step groups. Some understandably fall "victim" to their own unhealthy mental and emotional issues, but the ones with good foundations in tradition and at least some long term recovery do indeed stick to giving suggestions and focus on attraction, not promotion; progress not perfection. As my wise mother said, it's taken time to get into this mess, it will take time to get out. Few of us have an overnight or sudden illumination; we all could use a dose of humility and understanding that there are as many valid ways to recover from being unwell as there are individuals. 🙏😑👣

[@peacefulisland67]

And if I may, my best analogy that seems to work for most people these days is telling someone to experience something that usually occurs naturally in a healthy upbringing is like telling someone who's colour blind to just see the colour red because they should. One either has the capacity or they don't. We can assist with lenses or therapies, but without physical intervention they simply cannot do what you ask. On top of that if they've ALWAYS been as they are, there is no mental point of reference. That's where I'm at. No excuses and I'm working on the best life I can muster. Another analogy is that a radio without an internal receiver still looks like a radio. The waves are all available to connect but that unseen missing connection will never allow it to happen. From my side, I've changed a lot of my genetic expression; transformed what was a guaranteed early demise or at least exceptional isolated misery into a life with some hope and friendship. However, I'm under no illusion that I can magically flip my constitutional makeup from near zero healthy relations to fully informed and acted on ones. When I get to the place of how I feel or relate to aspects of others or indeed myself, I draw a blank. Nothingness. To change that will require divine intervention or a sudden blowing out of my psyche and I suspect it will come in the midst of chaos. Something to look forward to either way, and in the meantime I just keep feeding myself what my body can handle, one morsel at a time.

[@empress9857]

😮 wow keep pushing 💪🏿

[@MargauxNeedler]

Exactly this, same🎉

[@catherinejames2734]

So glad I came across this. I have read the body keeps the score. It was suggested to me after being admitted to hospital after overdosing on sedatives to try and stop the terrible body pain I was experiencing. I have had a lifetime of trauma, most of it I’ve kept to myself, my secret life. I have now had EMDR treatment that really helped calm down being triggered. Breathing is so difficult for me, I tend to hyperventilate easily, so I am grateful for your subscription where you have techniques to help with that. I mostly avoid people and social situations because of everything, I’m quite introverted so am happy being alone anyway, but it would be nice to feel more relaxed around people. I don’t sleep well either, mostly I just want to try and get out of the past and enjoy my life more. Thank you.

[@Nikitaxo24]

I'm sorry your experiencing this. Avoiding others is a safety behavior. It's a sign of codependency. Codependency and avoidance are two relational behaviors often linked by shared fears and coping mechanisms. At the core, both are driven by a fear of rejection and abandonment, though they express this fear differently. Codependent individuals often seek to be needed, fearing that without their constant support or help, they’ll be rejected or left alone. In contrast, those with avoidant tendencies distance themselves from others to protect themselves from emotional vulnerability. This need for control over relationships, to prevent potential pain, reveals a commonality between the two. In both dynamics, boundaries are skewed. Codependent people tend to have weak boundaries, overextending themselves in hopes of maintaining a connection. On the other hand, avoidant individuals often set rigid boundaries, pushing others away as a protective measure. This imbalance prevents true intimacy and often leaves both parties feeling isolated, misunderstood, and unfulfilled. The emotional disconnect in both behaviors stems from an inability to connect healthily with oneself and others. Codependent individuals may lose themselves in meeting others' needs, while avoidant people often suppress their own needs to avoid discomfort. This lack of self-awareness and emotional connection reinforces their relational behaviors. Together, these dynamics create a cycle of pursuit and withdrawal. In relationships, a codependent individual may pursue closeness, feeling anxious without it, while the avoidant partner withdraws to maintain distance. This push-pull effect can prevent the formation of stable, satisfying relationships for both, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and healthy boundaries in fostering more balanced connections. I'm not sure of history with relationships. Coda anonymous is helpful for this.

[@KosmoSherry]

So very grateful for this video. Layers of trauma including and since childhood. This was cathartic as I continue this healing journey I am on. Thank you. May you all be blessed in healing and thriving on your journeys. Life moves faster than we feel it does.

[@aquarianhealer]

@28:15 "people-pleasing" kids are bred by authoritarian parents. At 59, I have been a PP all my life and at the expense of my own genuine happiness. I truly thought the secret to happiness was in making sure people around me were ok because when they're upset it upsets me. To this day, I don't know any other way. I've sacrificed my entire life.

[@punyashloka4946]

Heal , there is hope.

[@karenharvey442]

Completely identify. My father would like to come across as a Peter Pan and my mother as someone who life happened to. While expecting respect from passing on standards they couldn't live up to! Now I have raised a child myself, I can see how much 'love' was conditiona;l so, sadly, it is difficult to return in a healthier way that is alien to them. I decided a decade or so ago that, if my parents weren't interested in working on themselves like our generation have been expected to, then it is not for me to assume being their parent. Essentially, I have found some peace in that process and my child is able to openly point out my faults without retribution.

[@viviannimue]

What a blessing to know such people like Bessel are in this world sharing their experience. And what a blessing to have such a platform like this one ❤

[@KJisMyBoy]

Enjoy this man’s perspective. Fairly grounded and seems to want to do good. Intuitively I believe him

[@adjoinify]

Mongolian singing came to mind , it embodies the whole body. Is there any scientific research done on Mongolian throat singing as a therapeutic tool?

[@Catonjupiteryep]

Ohh excited to watch this one. I love Bessel Van Der Kolk’s work.

[@jeremyjj3866]

Dr. Rangan I thoroughly enjoy these interviews. Many of the guests have been very helpful to me, but above all there is something about your approach to these conversations and perhaps your personality that draws me to them. I find great sense of solace listening to your talks and many times I am moved to tears. I appreciate your sincerity and humility. My dream is to be in the medical field myself, and I look at you as a model example that Id like to strive for. I wish I could be like that woman you mentioned that you ended up talking to for several weeks instead of giving her the pills. Nonetheless, I gain an immense amount of insight and sense of hope for my personal struggles listening to you this way.

[@shehzadagha7570]

Dr Rangan i would like to thank you for all your Great questions that you put and they are so important for understanding and it really helps to get the gist of the whole scenario ...as these are the questions we have in our minds ....

[@HomeFromFarAway]

agreed. though I was sad when he refered to the now debunked "blue zone" myth

[@latinaalma1947]

No one gets out of life untouched byloss, sorrow, trauma or negative experiences... it is the human condtion, it simply is not possible

[@MargauxNeedler]

Yet we all can learn how to best handle it

[@Rebecca-zr3lu]

God, thank you for deliverance from trauma and that you bind up the wounds of the broken-hearted. Thank you that you will heal our land. Thank you that you will heal all sicknesses and diseases. Thank you that you will bless us and keep us In Jesus mighty name. Amen 🙏

[@MALYNA86]

That is amazing ! Thank you ! I m a doctor and I do the “thing” to ask my patients how you fixed the problem the last time ,was it effectif the traitement …I don t only delever the medecines / I m not psycatrist/But it is so difficult to put them on the way of the introspection ,,, they have this défensif mécanisme ,,,so I don t even try ,,, I see that they are traumatised / I don t know all their story ,,, I will read your book that can help me in my practice ,,,thank you dr Chaterjee for inviting these people , I listen regularly your podcast !

[@JJTenby]

I’m finding this so hugely helpful. Thank you!

[@juan_chava4383]

Started listening to this book yesterday what great timing.

[@catherineogorman4388]

I have his "seminal work" on my bedside locker!!!

[@noonep2376]

Kahlil Gibran said that the best gift one can receive from another is to be truly seen and heard.

[@ggstylz]

Feelings of victimhood and being relatively competent are not mutually exclusive. People don’t choose to develop mental illnesses to use as an excuse for bulldozing themselves through life. Victimhood is a cognitive process, and the whole premise of this conversation is to point out that according to growing evidence, cognition is limited in healing trauma hence the suggestion “The Body Keeps the Score". This means a person will need to heal their somatic symptoms first, before cognition shifts from thoughts and feelings of victimhood. The brain / mind is not seperate from the body, so I think it would be fair to say that as a person starts to heal from trauma, a shift in cognition occurs in tandem as a natural consequence. It’s interesting how easily people become triggered when witnessing or perceiving other people’s display of victimhood. It’s a projection that implies protection. The difference is, because they can reconcile this and don’t manage psychiatric disorders, it’s tempting to judge other people for using their experiences as justification for their actions. Imagine saying to a person, don’t use hearing voices or waking up in the middle of the night with panic, as an excuse for not being able to regulate your emotions in a composed or cordial manner like the rest of us. There’s something to be said about our subconscious perception of society's perception of us, it definitely plays a role in shaping the way we perceive ourselves. Unfortunately this phenomenon is becoming more pronounced as the world becomes more individualistic.

[@mnw5240]

Well written! There’s a tendency to use the criticism of “playing the victim” as an easy dismissal of the difficult healing journey a person with trauma must undertake. People hate to deal with complexity.

[@karenharvey442]

Could you place this on the spectrum of stigmatism?

[@christineplaton3048]

Takes maturity on the part of one or the other for the relationship to continue.

[@marcodeheus9652]

Wat een geweldige podcast 🙏🏻 Thanks from the Netherlands 🍀

[@dezwarteconsultancycoachin7200]

Very impressed by your remark about knowledge, in and of itself, not being enough, being incomplete. The need to help the individual to transform, to integrate in their day to day life. Loved that question: what role does this substance or behavior play in my life?

[@elhombresfbay]

For some people it can take years before trauma can become unbearable and obvious.

[@imbolc8024]

💯

[@HuskyTheDog2202]

Decades!

[@artynegelen786]

I grew up with an enormous amount of verbal violence from my father (who was a war victim at the age of 4) and I was 4 when he went out of his mind at me for the very 1st time. It made me go into freeze for 43 years and came out of it last May. Still healing but oh sooo happy now. I have forgiven my father fully. How was he to blame for something that made him go into freeze at the of 4 and stayed in it of a lifetime?

[@joywilliams4014]

@@HuskyTheDog2202unfortunately and painfully true 😢

[@chafaq]

I'm 40 and it's been just a year since I realized how traumatized and broken I was. It's never too late and I would phrase Jung's quote " Life starts at 40, until then you're just doing research " 😊

[@rosaferreira7946]

Connection is key ❤

[@SimoneNC]

All my trauma came starting at 15 through my early 20s. I have triggers for sure!! Never had counseling but I should probably. I’m a good person very empathetic but relationships don’t last.

[@mlouw8218]

Thank you both so much for this super interesting and enjoyable conversation. I seem to find life itself kind of traumatizing and I’m feeling inspired to take something up that helps me to metabolize my experiences better. Also, I’m super excited for your talk with Lawrence van Lingen! I’ve been meaning to suggest that you interview him 😊👌

[@verydark..1988]

Interesting how one shows disdain for victims/ victim hood of trauma but is quick to agree with the interviewee on understanding and deep connection with clients hmmm . With deep understanding, there shouldn't be judgment.

[@eugenie423]

Thank for this incredible interview. My son has PTSD after a brutal attack by a group of men. He now also has gout in some of his joints after drinking to numb the trauma of his ordeal. Are there any medical trials in UK for PTSD which can help him? He is in so much pain 😞

[@eugenie423]

@@miguelpais123thank you, we are in Kent, not far from London. Do you know of any clinics?

[@catherineadair5677]

Brilliant discussion thank you both

[@AnthonyL0401]

Overall great content. Dr R could use with just a little less re-iteration of his upcoming point and just let the guest answer the obvious gist. Examples: 26:00, and around 21:00 he prefaces a question with so many qualifications, we forget the question and the guest is hampered.

[@lenkavolnhals7197]

I decided to listen to you no one seems to be able to solve my health issue let see if but you also repeat yourself this helps

[@zedradio3162]

It was a very interesting discussion. Especially at about the 5/8 mark of this interview. After being drug - alcohol free for over 34 now.(I know that healing is a life time journey, or is it?) When I do look back into the 70s I used psychedelics many times.(I knew that I was going on a trip, talk about freeing)I can say that my experience was almost like, a freeing of my soul. From the horrible childhood experiences, I was exposed to as a child, lived through and how that experience imprisoned and poisoned my brain. I also knew, while on the psychedelics, that the other drugs, I was using daily were not the answer.. (Soothing nevertheless) Next level heightened awareness, go figure. I believe that it is only a matter of time, I hope before access will be granted. But at the same time I realize this and it is the sad part, big pharma and bug business does not want the sheep to wake up.. Next level craziness..

[@dianneschmid8129]

Such a wonderful and helpful conversation u both comfort the heart therefore the mind knowing we can be understood and helped when we are willing to try to change our thought to strengthen our hearts and fall in love with who we are Soooooo grateful that amazing and kind hearted souls like u are helping us move into the light Love and blessings to u both 🌼🌼❤️🌼🌼

[@RUsureUR]

We're bombarded with quick, feel-good fixes to soothe our uncomfortableness within. Sweeping our right to be fully authentic beings. Our ability to heal is being hijacked by superficial needs. Why so much tolerance, enabling, denial, distractions?

[@lizafield9002]

Good point! The answer is probly one word. Money. Traumatized humans want comforts & distractions. It drives the entire economy. It's how the white man came to controlling native Americans...addict the men to "firewater" & guns.

[@mariaavery1212]

The important part that is missing is not feel good but an understanding and communication with people that have gone through with feel good steps with empty communication with people that really don't care.

[@NickG-e3v]

All of said negatives are directly why they exist because it keeps heads down and not up paying attention to how bad they are being used as cumulative objects that are tools and are becoming less than human....people care more for a homeless dog than a fellow human...🎉

[@RUsureUR]

@@NickG-e3v Or babies born into war.

[@Moe_Posting_Chad]

Because Jesus is unironically the light and The Way. Satan appears to have proven itself to be real and an active force in our lives. I didn't believe it at first either. But at this point, the facts are obvious! Anyone that isn't aware is being deliberately blind at this point. Last 30 years the curtian has been pulled back.

[@M-i-k-a-e-l]

We need also acknowledge the wickedness and intolerable levels of darkness that is working upon earth now. I believe many of these great pioneers in trauma healing have done little to none research in the field of conspiracy facts and esoteric science. Therefore they lack many layers of depth in understanding life. Truly pure, sensitive and old souls are still rare upon earth, but they often display symtoms and challenges that mimicks severe CPTSD. Ofcourse, they usually have their fair share of that also, but their life experience cannot only be reduced to "trauma". This is very important to innerstand and we need call forth authentic soul healers/leaders to engage with these trauma specialists so we can have better amalgation.

[@mariaeloisalemme4565]

Dr.Rangan you are with a guest. He is just a great doctor. Let Dr.Bessel talk...please.

[@graphiteevolutiongraphenom1769]

Yes he likes the sound of his own voice

[@gizmorow21]

He is passionate. Judge not

[@peggyharris3815]

Maria, I agree with you 300%.

[@gwenayliffe7244]

I think the host got so caught up in his personal experience and forgot listeners tuned in to listen to Bessel. Reminds me why I rarely listen to this podcaster.

[@alexandra_grigorovich]

Totally agree to your point 🫠

[@rosewelsh6687]

Alcoholic use alcohol, to survive. It's a coping mechanism. I am clean, 30 years. I needed to drink, or I would of ended up in a psychic hospital. I was constantly depressed, with constant panic attacks. I managed to talk about my past.

[@karenlewkowitz5858]

Duh - like hitting a newly sutured site. It's going to cause more pain. Why is trauma So difficult to understand? Are we emotionally so very stunted?? That is something to improve upon. A little kindness goes a long way.

[@MultiKoko73]

Trauma has destroyed my entire life. Structural dissociation, borderline, abuse, mental issues, rape, addiction, all kinds of somatic issues, epileptic seizures, etc. I ran away from people, jobs, etc. I had fights, fits and lots of humiliating stuff. I still have Stockholm syndrome. Or who knows what. I still live in the past. Keep slipping back. I cannot find a job, and friends. Because I'm scared of rejection, not being enough, etc. And I do have my issues. True. I'm not an easy person. I feel dirty like I have stigma. I'm ashamed of my condition and all the things I did in the past. So, I'm stuck.

[@SuperBubulica]

I loved this podcast. Thank you very much!

[@imbolc8024]

'use it to understand yourself', from your vision, it's understandable to say Rangan, there is a whole other important point tho : not KNOWING it was so horrible, living life always pleasing (too much), feeling attacked all the time (not realising it's all from childhood etc etc... than, thanks to people like Bessel, 'oh my goodness that is it'!!!! after many relationships, being very ill ... it's really not that simple. not one doc ever 'got in that topic' with me neither, i figured it all out myself, greets from Belgium. PS : the peoplepleasing had nothing to do with playing a game, it was of 'habbit' to please or otherwise very bad negative painful etc things followed, it's like : OR u play along OR u'll be so doomed and i'll make sure u suffer. and they did. it takes ages when u don't have info...

[@RUsureUR]

@imbolc8024 That was my reality, and I thought I was evil and must not stain my maezihna's illusionned estate. It took me lot's of KZbin Short clips by 🫣😶‍🌫️🤔💥Jimmy on Relationships, 🧚😘😘The Crappy Childhood Fairy, 🤩🤩🤩The Holistic Psychologist, Patrick Teahan, many others. See it for what it is.

[@leregardmazarine]

Thank you for explaining that there is not bad intention behind being a people pleaser. Because when you’ve been beaten up in the past you don’t want to suffer from the hands and the mouth of someone anymore. So people have compassion of the traumatised, don’t traumatize them more.

[@imbolc8024]

@@leregardmazarine thanku for your kind reply, filled with understanding, it's so moving 'hugs'

[@leregardmazarine]

@@imbolc8024 Sending you lots of love ❤️

[@imbolc8024]

@@leregardmazarine 🤗

[@richardgoreilly4706]

Excellent as expected from both participants. He looks great.

[@barblaforce3991]

My son thinks he is a victim through his trauma & can’t get through it. He’s getting worse & is wanting to know why he has to live if he can’t get rid of the OCD/PTSD.

[@mcc208]

💔 he needs love support and caring from a really good therapist ❤❤❤

[@mrfacespace]

My guess is that Bessel is somewhat aware of Arthur Janov and Primal Therapy. Arthur Janov had some terrific insights and he also met with resistance. But now his ideas have been assimilated by society. New ideas often take time to gain acceptance. So, I don’t know how Bessel feels about Arthur Janov, but my point is that he’s not the first to rattle the cage of the status quo and be met with some resistance

[@PewPewNevis]

As he mentions at around minute 46, i actually started to dance tango. However, the pleasure is often low due to my pelvic pain that started after a stressful period of time and just wont go away, even i feel somehow better now. But this constant unpleasent feeling in the body, i just dont now anymor how it is the feel good in the moment.

[@chukabucka]

Excellent Guest

[@juliesmith4539]

I suffer from cptsd I had such a horrible childhood. The manipulation was so bad, but I didn't realise until I was a lot older, but I had hope I still feel that I'm being manipulated why dose my mind feel like that the man I married was and still is helping the person that abused me so alone as a child and now when my husband and I got together I felt that I had escaped and just put everything that I had been through to the back of my mind then when we went to court in 2013 it came back with avengeance I couldn't cope with it I couldn't remember everything but what I had remembered I couldn't speak up properly in court it's like my brain was going at hundred mile's an hour but I have done it differently to what I have lurnt from watching podcasts and other experts on utube I told myself I was stronger than them sh** ba ******* and that helped a bit as I got older but still feel that I'm just as confused as I was as a kid I have done councling but because of my childhood I don't trust anyone because I was so traumatised

[@taylorllane2063]

People just want to be talked to. And for some reason there’s no one to talk to.. 🙁

[@chutney-h3o]

That reason is increasingly becoming the screen...ppl preferring the screen to human contact.

[@mirrabooka4302]

I would have hoped a doctor would have a better awareness of domestic violence - but I am not actually surprised.

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

it's also because many of us were mot allowed to feel what we felt -- I was a ready and felt it anyway. Still doesn't mean I didm't need help.

[@lenkavolnhals7197]

I will watch now knitting podcasts only when I knit I am a little happier

[@sheenvisionssheexcels8188]

Thank you for sharing ❤

[@H-youtube7]

What Dr Chattergee sais about public health information is right, the same goes for cigarette packets with photos of diseased body parts on them. You need to reach the person, not with shame and anxiety, to motivate change.

[@stevemoore9627]

Great conversation, Amazing info. I’m learning how hand my CTE😊

[@Lifetimelearningisbrave]

In person 12 step groups have been vital to complement logic learning through many wise books like the body keeps the score. If you are suffering with an addiction, taking the advice from those who have been able to just quit or have never experienced it doesn’t work for my brain. Sitting g with people who have been to hell and recovered showing me the way was better than 2 decades of wasted money on therapy regurgitating my latest problem playing wack a mole while I gave my money away. EmDR and exercise also a part of it. Addressing chronic disease and brain inflammation has been a disconnected conversation but is the thing that is missing in enjoying life and having energy after the easy dopamine made life worth living.

[@Dobermanmomma]

The problem with 12 steps is it's great in theory but the groups are filled with unhealed, very unhealthy people.

[@annelbeab8124]

​@@Dobermanmommaa problem especially for people with a helper syndrome. It's their fix.

[@Moe_Posting_Chad]

Heard 12 steps is less than 10 percent effective. I think they should all drop the act and just go back to Church. Addicts can't heal addicts, but Jesus can if they let Him.

[@insertmyidentityhere]

Uh, what a crock of crap. There is nothing "logical" about 12-step. It's an antiquated, narcissist cult, replete with predators and losers. With abysmal relapse and suicide rates, I might add....For lazy, low-level thinkers.

[@susydyson1750]

12 steps include a daily practice for life !

[@pattimhypnotherapy]

This was an incredible interview and so reconfirming of my views on trauma and it’s healing. What a fascinating guest. And so very well led Dr Chatterjee. I’m feeling very inspired and motivated to do the work I do, thank you. 🫶🏻

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

and what if you know you need touch, want touch, but not accessible?

[@LaFlame-5]

the fact that nobody talks about Unveiling Your Hidden Potential by Bruce Thornwood speaks volumes about how people are stuck in trance

[@AzureSkyes]

Weird spam comment. Nobody talks about that book because it doesn't exist 🙄

[@maryestes9584]

Back in the 70s a friend of mine blew his brains out after doing Psilocybin Mushrooms. And another friend who did LSD and never came back from it… so no, I’m not a fan of mind altering drugs.

[@jamesbutler5908]

Thanks ❤

[@fruitsandosss]

what Dr. B said about not knowing people until you marry them… well you also don’t really know people until they are your manager 💀💀💀

[@edwardaligonzalez123]

Thanks for sharing, 🧠💥💯💪🏽👍🏾

[@leenachakraborty3251]

How to get in touch with Dr. Bessel and Dr. Rangan?

[@LovelyFlipFlops-jl9kl]

I feel like my therapist can't help and I don't know what to do to heal this time.

[@kaylam6474]

Hi there! I just want to share some words of encouragement: Healing isn't linear and takes time. I can totally relate to feeling like nothing works or feeling lost, but I had to realize this journey is a very slow process and more complex than we think. Think about it like this: Our brains are rewiring unhealthy patterns as we heal and that itself is a painful (having to recollect traumatic experiences, self-reflect, break bad habits, learn emotional regulation, etc.) , but rewarding experience. As we age, we'll always experience changes and have to adapt to new situations. That's why there's no "end" to healing. This is a lifelong process. The best way I've learned it is it's not a task, but a practice. You'll have your up and downs, good days and bad. It's all about how you manage it. Keep giving yourself affirmations Journal (if that works for you) Spend time with your thoughts; question those burning thoughts. You'd be surprised with how much you may learn about yourself Whatever your therapist has shared or what you've learned works best for you! I promise it will get better. I believe in you! Tell yourself you are NOT treatment resistant. I'm wishing you the best. You got this!

[@lalagardenia6500]

Consider looking into bio feedback? Combining talk therapy with bio feedback can be very helpful when talking about the trauma only re-traumatizes you 😢😢😢😢

[@Lifetimelearningisbrave]

Can you see my comment in the general chat? I had this experience of therapists just reinforcing problems…a great solution based 12 step group changed my life. First time in my life I didn’t feel nuts.

[@jesusswarrior2524]

Only God heals the soul and traumas

[@vickibazter3446]

Deep Breath work and body work. Very cathartic but deep and you need support while going through it. Reiki therapy, too. Talk therapy doesn't get to trauma.

[@olgamitsura2592]

Just a feedback from my side: it is a pity that you talk so much and there wad less space for your guest. I would like to hear Dr. Bessel more.

[@lenkavolnhals7197]

I reduced it but it still makes fun

[@amelittaberretta9109]

Thank You Doctor. Indeed!

[@lenkavolnhals7197]

Knitting and chemistry this only two things makes long life sense

[@ivanblazevic9353]

Shut up already!!!!!!

[@odalysruiz4]

Thank you! 🙏🏼👑👼🏼♥️

[@user-ob2yx7ki3s]

Gosh, what a wasted opportunity - I really wish he would let the great Dr B talk at length, rather than interrupting, cutting off and monopolising the interview 😞

[@Bianca-i9r]

Dr Rangan. I left a comment on your community page on respect and compassion. There is a long reply from someone impersonating you. I suggest you read it. His channel is your name with a 7 added. Regards.

[@GraceRose-us6jb]

Thank you!

[@lenkavolnhals7197]

With the time whatever I do I am bored of only wool but I like only the expensive one strangely

[@laceydillard2178]

What is his podcasts or does he have one yet?

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

In Belgium too , you know . Realy I think I cannot survive !!! 😢

[@ulaphoto]

I think I heard Rangan saying the name of a London based IFS therapist he used in the past - any idea where to find it please? Thank you 🙏

[@lauriegills773]

Is this why people that have been abused will mostly likely abuse?? It’s like a never ending vicious, inherited trauma in families passed on and on. So who’s to blame? 😢

[@karenharvey442]

In my experience, looking for someone to blame is not useful. I have had to become ill on a regular basis before being diagnosed "clinically depressed" and, with counselling, realising that I had PTSD as a result of various traumas in my life mounting up in a series of events that I could no longer face alone. I have had a huge journey inbetween to learn that I was "normal" and, given the same circumstances, many would end up the same. Unfortunately, my remaining family have struggled to accept they have played various unhealthy parts and repeated degrees of it in their own relationships. I am not exception in that respect but, thankfully, better equipped to not be drawn backwards into the abyss. I recommend looking at co-dependency to avoid taking sides or aligning with a perpetrator who has various ways of controlling, down to the most subtle forms of manipulation.