6 Habits To Stop Looking Weak (gain instant respect)

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Tommy Shelby is stone cold confident and seemingly fearless.
So in this video we're going to break down what you can learn from him to be confident in high pressure situations in your own life.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:18 - #1: Don't overreact in situations of extreme pressure
1:13 - Exposure therapy
1:51 - #2: Use state breaking questions
3:57 - #3: Align your needs with the other person's
4:25 - #4: View the world from their perspective
5:54 - #5: Give both the carrot and the stick
7:42 - #6: Turn trash into resources
9:19 - Ask yourself this question
9:30 - How do I build social power quickly?
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#TommyShelby #PeakyBlinders #CharismaOnCommand
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Website: www.charismaoncommand.com
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[@stevenhudson6354]

Success is not built on success. It's built on failure, It's built on fraustration. it's built on fear that you have to overcome. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life

[@maryperry2460]

You are right.!

[@maryperry2460]

That is why I had to start forex trading 2months ago and l now am making benefits from it.!

[@carlgarza556]

@@maryperry2460 My first investment with Victoria Alejandro gave me profit of over $80,000 Us dollar....

[@carlgarza556]

And I can even say she is the sincere broker I know....

[@rebeccagilbert7691]

@@carlgarza556 O' Yes I'm a living testimony of Mrs Victoria Alejandro.!

[@user-em6ie2be7x]

Keeping a straight face in any stressful situation definitely helps you exude Confidence.

[@cal1b31]

Can you explain what you mean

[@aru-YT]

@@cal1b31 try not to look away from their eyes too much or down at the floor, look at their eyes when they're talking and switch looking at each eye. open gestures look confident. also take slow breaths through your nose to calm you down, you can even do this in the middle of listening to someone talk just don't make it too obvious. i also heard some people take ashwaganda to calm their nerves, i haven't really tried that but some people say it works well

[@quanvo3883]

@@aru-YT ashwagandha helps calm your mind, relieves stress and better sleep. One of the side effects is that it kills emotions, however, it depends on the person.

[@aru-YT]

​@@quanvo3883 I actually have been trying them for a few days to deal with stress and anxiety, I'd agree that it depends on the person with the completely killing emotions part, as of yet it just makes me feel less stress and a little bit calm, kinda like I don't really fear or stress about things even social anxiety.

[@RainbowBandana]

​@aru you was saying wise words until you threw in drugs smh

[@Adora-ble.8367]

You want to know what's better than looking confident? BEING confident! 😎

[@chrissmith4568]

"I am my deeds and everything I do is a reflection of self" I think this fits what you said.

[@Sebbir]

Another fun thing Tommy does is always knowing the names and whereabouts of the love ones of people he is talking to. So if the conversation goes south he can always bring it up to lighten the mood. It’s very effective

[@timossynodias4688]

yes cause he is actually capable of doing something harmful to them unlike you and probably most of us, he is actually threatening them in a way

[@hellopiecake1234]

@@timossynodias4688 well yeah, that was the joke.

[@edppcz]

You keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

[@amiteshdashsamant6320]

@@timossynodias4688 That was the joke man. You can be really not wise, can't you be?

[@Writingaid]

😂😂😂

[@noahhradek5426]

The ability to turn a difficult situation into a resource is difficult itself but very helpful.

[@OmarHamza-nz9ob]

Please tell me how can I deal with this difficult situation... How can a non Muslim (christian, hindu, buddhist or atheist) respond to a arrogant muzlim if the muzlim starts to bully the non muslim by saying: *"Come to our mosque even if you aren't a Muslim come to our mosque, leave everything."* How can a non Muzlim respond to diffuse the situation? Please reply

[@noahhradek5426]

@@OmarHamza-nz9ob tell them you're not muslim and it would be an issue with your own religion if you went.

[@noahhradek5426]

@@OmarHamza-nz9ob tell them you're not muslim and it would be an issue with your own religion if you went.

[@focuspocus5236]

⁠@@OmarHamza-nz9ob in this sort of situation, I personally would state that just as they have their own beliefs, so do you. Just as you have chosen to respect their religion and not to push your beliefs on to others, tell them that you also wish they would respect your beliefs. If they still pursue you on this issue, should ask them, if they were willing to leave behind their religion for yours. And once they reply they aren’t, you can inform them that you feel the same way.

[@OmarHamza-nz9ob]

@@focuspocus5236 Nice suggestion thanks..

[@StormClaws7]

I've been binging a lot of Charisma on Command videos and then after a while I sort of realized, maybe we've been doing it wrong; just copying their behaviors don't result in the confidence portrayed by the exemplified characters -- they are the way they are because of the situations they were put in. I was about to critique it in the older version of this video and then you put the first point addressing exactly that. Bravo!

[@SeanLunny]

I always take a deep breath and respond - I think that’s the difference - respond vs react.

[@DonnieBrascoo]

Breathing deeply worsens anxiety. You should practice slow breathing..

[@btown418]

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space”

[@ryankavanaughreal]

@DonnieBrascoo usually deep and slow breathing are the same thing in this context

[@jayceazar1476]

"He who remains calm in the face of adversity, while all others fall apart....is truly in control"

[@kennethbedwell5965]

Or does not understand the gravity of the situation.🤔

[@nicolpineda8632]

​@@kennethbedwell5965 That's why in addition to being calm, you also have to show that you know where you stand. You can show concern and insertion at the same time without losing the façade of tranquility and security.

[@timaf4458]

Tommy Shelby suffers from shell shock, or what is known today as PTSD. A lot of people who suffer from that have that cold look in their eyes, it’s not confidence it’s feeling dead inside. I’ve had it and I know people who have it too. It’s nothing to romanticize, don’t try to be a fictional character, they will never live up to the potential of reality. Better a life well-lived with love then trying to cultivate respect through alienating behaviors. Trauma isn’t sexy.

[@carsonbrown5366]

Step 1: develop PTSD. Got it👍

[@KingNez89]

I'm going to do what works, fck love it's a over rated emotion that gets you know where....I'd rather be respected then loved all day any day of the week....

[@fahkrudin98]

​@@KingNez89Damn who hurt you?

[@AZK91]

​@@carsonbrown5366😂😂

[@CV2T]

Same bro same😢 you king keep on rocking! I really need some luck shits so fking rough rn, i couldnt say or understand what my emotions are rn, its switching fast 0-100 ​@KingNez89

[@twentydixoncider7443]

Fear is a perfectly normal to feel sometimes, it's what you do with that fear that can make you great

[@maximesauvage530]

I use my fear as it is meant to be used for in the first place, keeping me from putting myself in dangerous or uncomfortable situations.

[@ianneon6509]

Few people have said this out loud. WE know because WE listen, watch and feel. Bravo friend, Bravo.

[@bonitalehtonen1254]

FEAR: the only way out...is through

[@WilliamJonesChess]

Key Moments [square brackets= own thoughts] 00:20 He does not overreact. [Wow. It shows that he has leverage. You need him more than he needs you.] 1:19 Exposure Therapy 2:00 Ask a question you know you are in charge of. What is your dog’s name? [ Tom shows that he does not care what you have to say. He has leverage.] 7:40 Turn a bad situation into a great one. Tommy makes a bad situation better than if it never happened in the first place. 9:12 How can the thing I least want be valuable to another goal?

[@joshuaa9517]

Thanks man

[@WilliamJonesChess]

@@joshuaa9517 You are welcome

[@FroggyPrince]

he literally made the timestamps in the video when he posted it

[@joshuaa9517]

@@FroggyPrince no but this guy summarised it

[@LASMONN]

Sometimes not doing anything is the most reasonable thing to do.

[@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702]

Very true 🙌

[@sable5517]

Charlie! You have a way of speakin man. Thank you for the words.

[@dillonhastings8438]

#1 be a WW1 veteran

[@piuli95]

Were so anxious to look weak so we avoid mistakes and slow our trial and error learning process.

[@AshleyMWilliams89]

I'm so glad you used Peaky Blinders, they are perfect demonstrations for this video. Tommy and Alfie are my favorite characters of any show ever, love seeing them featured here❤

[@johnvarnadoe4231]

How to be confident : always hold you’re pinky out when drinking anything. -Patrick star

[@Jkim890]

When in doubt pinky out

[@BigMcLargeHuge125]

Don’t forget those sentence enhancers!

[@pinkyless]

What if you don’t have a pinky?

[@maryjanerx]

I thought that was for putting on airs

[@Jkim890]

@@pinkyless That’s just fancy talk

[@INSANESUICIDE]

The character suffers severe PTSD and has some serious issues with repressed emotion. There are many cases of people surviving war finding out it is over, they sit down and lower their guard and is overcome and straight up die from repressed stress or just have mental breaks. There is a time and a place to put your emotions to the side, but you always have to sort it out sooner rather then later, stress has a significantly higher interest rate than the bill you missed a payment on. Stay safe folks.

[@Superhero-Motivation]

I have not seen the video but I agree. When you have PTSD or any mental illness, repressing emotions is probably the most counterintuitive thing you can do

[@PLsexpicklePL]

@@Superhero-MotivationAbsolutely. Self-isolating is horrible if you have ptsd. You’ll simply get worse and worse.

[@maximesauvage530]

I don’t have any mental illness and still it is very hard for me to show my emotions to others, I am just like this. In the beginning I never noticed this myself until I did theater at school and the teacher wanted me to show her anger, joy and sadness and at that moment I realized that I never really displayed these emotions an open manner, even though I still felt the emotions inside and the result was I didn’t know how I could possibly simulate it, I was completely lost and I didn’t do the exercise with the other students, which kind of pissed the teacher off 🤷‍♂️.

[@TheRealYou-su1qw]

You have the ability to survive anything that is why despite all the storm made of pain, loss and chaos that you've had to endure, you are still alive and going strong. Gone were those days when a problem shared was a problem half solved, but today, a problem shared is a topic for gossip and discussion. I know you keep a lot of things to yourself b'cos it's difficult to have a friend who understands. Lighten up, laugh more, and don't get so worked up about things. There is so much inside you, and you have what it takes to make the most out of life

[@garybeltrand5802]

Ha, I've always done the off-topic question when someone's being confrontational, overly emotional, aggressive, or trying to flex authority on me. Never thought of it as confidence, more just me being weird. Even since back in school, just do it naturally. I'm quieter and somewhat smart but I grew up with dysfunctional people so I'm dulled to drama. I developed a "I don't care" type personality and maybe it's part of that. Just trying to level things down, but in kind of an awkward manner. Throws people off and I get mixed results - sometimes people just calm down, sometimes it pisses them off more, or confuses them.

[@jayepstein1908]

It's a different vibe when the person going off topic is a reputable gangster that can have you killed at any moment because you ticked him off.

[@BlitzEGG]

Same here boss

[@baka2040]

Very interesting, subscribed. I have spent many years in customer service. About five years in I determined that the only successful people in this line were sociopaths. While that sounds harsh, it really depends on your motivation and sense of morality. I need to get what I want, at the same time convincing you that I know what you want, and how to get it. This is what I am missing in my current situation. I need to draw from that so that I may achieve success. Disclaimer, I don't what to screw anyone over. I just want things to work out my way once in a while. Maybe even help lift someone up along the way

[@TaHrPa]

Step number 1: Be a fictional character played by a professional actor with 20 experts writing your every line, movement, thought and facial expression.

[@notoriousbig3652]

😂

[@VikashKumar-yr5xf]

Exactly 😌

[@paulseigeldorf9461]

That’s what I was thinking. It helps when the other person has a script telling them how to respond. lol.

[@lyndonbauer1703]

I've never heard of a state breaking question, but I realised I do this often when dealing with customers at work. 'what's your dog's name' I've said more times than I can count. Great video!

[@gortimustidditus]

It helps a lot to maintain composure if you were a tunneled in WW1

[@kalebwieland4938]

It's a really neat method even mentioning your own loss, then finish with what the other person's gain is.

[@Loirn-onajourney]

Being calm is a superpower. Be super.

[@Erick-xk4ug]

I really love Tommy. He is so cool and inspired.

[@copycat21c]

Outstanding summary clearly translated for real-world applications. Thank you.

[@sosa41604]

Thank you for reuploading!

[@jodidavis6595]

What a great show. Loved this. Rip Pauly

[@broadcastingtechnogtech1283]

Please make a video on how to protect self-respect while being calm and non reactive

[@SimpleaYoungBoy]

Good information right here, thanks man

[@evansreels6]

This video will upgrade your standard of living

[@jimhalpert0]

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a good book regarding this topic

[@ianchesney9639]

I did this exposure therapy with women, always awkward and weird around women when asking for their number for a date or whatever.....the only way to achieve things in life weather it's money, talking to girls correctly etc ..is repeating failure until failure is no more, it's really the beauty of life you can mold yourself into anything you desire.

[@michaelkopacz]

Hi! I love your videos. Thank you for motivating me to start my own KZbin account.

[@Creophagous]

When it comes to the actions of others, engaging in fake flexing is exactly what it sounds like-fake. Under pressure, those who adopt this behavior tend to crumble. I've encountered individuals who embraced the "fake it until you make it" mindset, and truthfully, it's quite discernible. Observing others interact with these individuals always brought a smile to my face, as it revealed something that many people failed to see objectively: the susceptibility of individuals seeking attention from those who engage in fake flexing. The moment their insincere acts were exposed, the fake flexers would swiftly and cowardly turn on people, revealing the absurdity of their actions.

[@Top5Education]

Watched again - really enjoyed (again)

[@walterkovacs7365]

START DOING THIS DOING THIS

[@archive6094]

Fun Fact: David Bowie was a huge fan of the Peaky Blinders and gave permission for music from his final album to be featured in Series 3

[@breaking.bad.]

Exactly!

[@joseullysescordova1969]

amazing!

[@velttokakka]

When someone is about to punch me i just block the shot with my face and look cool. Works just like in movies

[@armageddonready4071]

Marine corps boot camp was my “exposure therapy”

[@djtdawg87]

Hey guys can y'all please, please do a video on James Spader's character of Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, i mean not only is he a total badass but he's also super smart and confident and doesn't care what others think of him at all, he would be great to do a video on i think.

[@BadassName17]

Less words, greater impact.

[@thomasshelby_4866]

This motivates me 😳😳

[@hamdanahmed5205]

Tommorow is my presentation to be captain I love u bro thank uuu ❤❤❤

[@mr.paradox8409]

Thank You.

[@maxdavidyermolaev4164]

amazing video

[@soulnetworkinc.6649]

Thank you

[@Planetary-1]

The fact they blur the weapons, but not the most deadliest, which is Tommy Shelby himself.....

[@sss_0.]

The thing about me is, I do pretty much all of these. I'm quite observative and idk if this will seem weird or not but I can tell how someone feels with their face expressions and tone of their voice really easily (I'm pretty sure a lot can do that aswell anyway). So ik how to behave around ppl to keep them comfortable or to fit in their moods. Not many ppl understand that from me and exclude me out of things

[@United_Wings]

Amazing 👌🏼👌🏼

[@hotkeyafl]

wowser you guys are up to 6 million subs. that is incredible.

[@ReconVette19D]

I like this one so please re up every 6-8 weeks

[@alertgasper]

Another factor in exposing yourself to situations. When you resist using your money, looks, or status to get past a difficult situation, you take your strengths and weaknesses out for a ride. you learn more about yourself. You learn what you can handle and what you can't, because you left your comfort zone. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" because you lose your fear of the unknown. Often, a leader we marvel at for "always knowing the right thing to do" has just guessed correctly all these times to make it this far. doing something beat doing nothing. "align your needs with others" is classic win-win scenario. sometimes you can do your research of their needs by listening rather than hearing. as the nuns used to teach, you have two ears and one mouth to listen twice as much as you talk. Let the other party fill in the silence. figure out why people do what they do. what is their ultimate goal?

[@BnDTV]

I love the way you do your subtitles - what software are you using to create the subtitling in your videos?

[@jackreacher.]

I'm the optimist. I do it because the outcome is rewarding in spite of my expectations. Risk everything and lose it all? The loss is a great lesson for re-defining value. Experience will always equal material gain. Only perpetual winners can enjoy goodwill and blue sky.

[@Steadyawake]

The vato loco look and mad dog stare never fails, trust me and try it, practice and perfect it on that grandma that walks around the neighborhood

[@tonymn1985]

Its really easy to say but actually doing it is another thing trust me

[@tomcat8001]

Thank you i view the world in Steph curry's perspective and it makes me more confident :)

[@mrsentencename7334]

it easier for me to keep a straight face under pressure, but that heartbeat though.

[@heatedturtle659]

I love how the advertisement also uses the things said in the video 🤣

[@MAYK1NG]

It’s called disassociation from emotion while focusing.

[@sisekomaci2930]

Good one

[@wuzaishoa2016]

You can't ever be fearless but you can mask your fear as if you're unaffected

[@yamz1156]

Facts, fear is felt through the entire body. Wether you accept it or not

[@OmarHamza-nz9ob]

How can a non Muslim (christian, hindu, buddhist or atheist) respond to a arrogant muzlim if the muzlim starts to bully the non muslim by saying: *"Come to our mosque even if you aren't a Muslim come to our mosque, leave everything."* How can a non Muzlim respond to diffuse the situation?

[@OmarHamza-nz9ob]

@@yamz1156 Yes Exactly, it is true... How can a non Muslim (christian, hindu, buddhist or atheist) respond to a arrogant muzlim if the muzlim starts to bully the non muslim by saying: *"Come to our mosque even if you aren't a Muslim come to our mosque, leave everything."* How can a non Muzlim respond to diffuse the situation?

[@Stonksboi_]

Helpful

[@Jennifer-id6si]

Ok. Now I want to watch the show 😅 looks good

[@iamthemoss]

KZbin, the great protector of our feelings and safety.

[@shiyas2936]

Legends know this is already uploaded

[@shaunm9025]

he's almost similar to reddington. need to start watching this show, seems promising.

[@monchichipower6334]

Do a video on how to combat getting roasted or bullied

[@user-pk9qs3ql2k]

Basically think smarter not harder 🔥

[@syedali1401]

the best and quickest thing you can do before a fight or when a girl approaches you, is to keep your eyes relaxed and soft but focused and look both of their eyes very slowly.

[@makoshark69x96]

SOFT, RELAXED EYES... THAT'S GREAT ADVICE ! I CAN FEEL IT ALREADY !

[@bellastone-le9eb]

Sounds like you have experience. 😂

[@nasirmehmood4228]

I can't imagin how this guy went this far with his channel by just taking a clip and just explain it as it goes, if an actor blink he'll say '' the guy blinked because he wants to show to the interviewer that he's not sleeping he's awake and attentive and this is how you show to the people that you are always aware of your surroundings blah blah'' and if the actor doesn't blink he'll say '' the guy didn't blink and kept staring at the interviewer this is how you show them that I am not just giving you an interview and answering your question I am giving you a warning that you should be careful with your questions and treat me respectfully or you'll be the responsible for the consequences, this is you let them treat you as you want'' Well done brother I must say

[@nealmaxwell790]

I developed the state of calm by being in a factory setting after being laid off from an engineering position. I was around guys who were Crips, some of them would get in my face or brandish weapons over minor offenses. I learned to stay calm, remind them of what they had to lose.

[@ianberry5879]

It helps to have a script writer that draws out your personal scenes for the camera, and to be a good actor, so confused men can idolize you like a fictional character badass in a Hollywood production and picture themselves as being the same, as they post Joker/Shelby/Reacher/Taxi Driver/ memes about pushing a good man to his breaking point, then go right back to doing absolutely nothing.

[@vandeezey]

Is that what happened to you?

[@waynemitchell8254]

It’s helps if you have come to terms with your own mortality

[@sachit16-26]

bring more such

[@M0HAMMAD1997]

can you do one on Mads Mikklesen ?

[@miana624]

I like the series

[@lukerXIII]

Walking around the job site before an interview gets you into the field of the vibe that's going to be the routine you're going to be hard for if you walk in with that mindset you automatically get the job every time, trust!

[@Lycari674]

have you got any videos about finding topics to talk about- i mena meeting someone for the first time- im extremely extroverted but what do you talk about with people afterwards?? like starting a convorsation

[@yasirkayoom4809]

I should have downloaded your previous Tommy Shelby video........ please find a way to make it available to us❤

[@shreyanshmishra4987]

Hard🔥

[@bozoferjan3399]

nice ideas

[@TheCUBARY]

Fun fact- the intro may or may not have been an AI generated Charlie voice👀 (Podcast listener here!)

[@brigittegeorg]

Cool channel, thanks.

[@kuro9188]

im just like tommy shelby

[@the_rover1]

tommy is a fictional character. he is played by an actor, by a script. of course he holds firm in situations of being threatened and preassured 🤷

[@tinamitchell7496]

Does not mean it is not a sound strategy in real life. 🙄 You realise that when you do a first aid course you don't practice CPR on real people actually having heart attacks right?

[@derplad9040]

1. Get in shape 2. The rest will sort itself out

[@nathananderson8720]

This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my KZbin channel 2 months ago about self development. Now I have 144 subs and almost 75 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.

[@fatking2612]

Wish you have success 🙏🏻

[@nathananderson8720]

@@fatking2612 Thanks so much! I realized that the main reason for doing this is not about the success but the inspiration I've been providing some people with my stories while helping others do the same as I shared the lessons & experiences through making videos to have a sense of meaningful purpose. Therefore, I’m planning to quit nursing to pursue youtube full time as there are lots of issues in our traditional health systems as these don’t align with my values. It’s a huge learning curve but I love helping people through making videos. Also, as part of my video creation progress, I’m switching to a better editing software and a camera so the learning curve is much higher and slows down the completion speed of my next videos so please hang on tight! I do appreciate your support and kind words! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)

[@katie3657]

Just subscribed!!

[@nathananderson8720]

@@katie3657 I am so thankful for each person who subscribed and engaged with my content and any other creators who silently work hard behind the scenes despite countless struggles that are not being shown in the videos. As long as someone gains value from our art and creations, that’s really what really matters at the end of the day. This really truly makes me happy. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to have a career that pays well so I can buy whatever I want but now that I’m grown up and went through tons of setbacks from losing tons of people in my life, getting lost in the world with full of life traps, being ridiculed for pursuing my dreams, and so on, I can say that long-lasting happiness can’t be bought or earned because it comes from within us. Continue to grow as a person and I’m so glad that you’re part of this journey! I’m hoping to upload my next one this month, which is more than an hr long. I’ve been working hard for many months now to present it in the best way I can. I hope that you’ll enjoy it! Thanks so much again for your support! ❤️

[@olderbadboy]

Saw your talk on Destiny channel and i think you're a very nice human . I am stalking you now and my guts were right. You give valuable and entertaining content .

[@brigittegeorg]

What??

[@Ayoush_Rebel]

A lot of these advice I already do in my life which is very useful against people who are very hard to get along with.

[@Shonenfanboy1048]

can you do a video on how to break rapport

[@marteerens]

I really recommend you analyse James Acaster... Most fearless person ever

[@kevinb.8649]

Another trick is speaking in a low voice where it’s not mumbling but hard to kinda hear u can control others by making them move to you drawing them in and when they do u know u have them in a way or interested for sure but what you say and the words you choose to say it in matter.

[@King-Chick]

Thank you for teaching me to be the man. Btw I am gonna say 1 fact, if you struggle today, exercise today, feel pain today, etc., that would be the reason of your success tomorrow.

[@WitnessesSay]

Yikes🤹🏻

[@samserious1337]

What if there is no way for "exposure therapy"? It's either the situation or avoid the situation.