chase. I got rejected because I'm trans.

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[@Eli-sp8fl]

i mean if someone isnt attracted to the genitals that i currently have thats ok, i cant change someone’s attraction to specific genitalia lol.

[@lordfreeza_]

ryyiio it's called "sexuality"

[@vampre15]

some of the opinions/reactions ppl have related to this topic (like chase, riley) really embarrass me as a trans guy. i don't think it helps to goes on + on abt how ppl r transphobic for not wanting to date trans ppl. carrying on the topic just means that now cis ppl feel compelled to ask me my opinion on it. it's obnoxious when people (like arielle) make a scene abt not wanting to date trans people and won't shut up abt it. it would be just as annoying if someone went on + on abt how they won't date someone based on height..... everyone just stop pls.

[@s0nicfreak]

So if they are dating a cis person and that person's genitals get deformed in an accident, are they going to break up with them? If the answer is no, then it's not about attraction to specific genitalia.

[@lordfreeza_]

s0nicfreak that's not really the same situation though is it?? You are clearly a child who has no experience in actual relationships.. Someone who you are already with having an accident that deforms them isn't the same thing as a woman who wants to be a man taking testosterone to grow a beard and then getting mad that people who are attracted to males won't date her because she has a vagina.. How are those two things even remotely related in your mind??

[@s0nicfreak]

Woah, I'm a child with no experience in actual relationships? I thought I was in my 30s, married, and had several relationships before that. But clearly, I'm mistaken. How are those two things even remotely related? Well a person born with a penis gets testosterone during puberty and grows a beard... a person born with a vagina gets testosterone (whenever they get it) and grows a beard. If what you're attracted to is beards, then it doesn't matter if the testosterone came from their body or from the pharmacy. If what you're attracted to is perfect penises... someone who gets their penis deformed in an accident doesn't have a perfect penis anymore.

[@claire.182]

If you’re trans and haven’t gone through bottom surgery, then it’s fine for someone to not be attracted to your genitals. Also, if someone is looking for love and kids, then being trans can render that if you’ve gone through treatment and surgery.

[@claire.182]

Stop being a dick because someone isn’t attracted to you. People aren’t attracted to me because I have brown hair (something I can’t help unless I ruin my hair), I’ve been rejected because I’m just not pretty enough, and fuck, fine by me, I can’t change it, but I can change my attitude, and that’s what you need to do.

[@dutchik5107]

You know trans people are infertile when they go through bottom surgery right (probably even hormone therapy tbh) So they will never able to offer a family.

[@riddler3488]

Even with bottom surgery though... Shit just ain't the same as cis genitals, and if someone isn't attracted to that stuff? That's okay. Ain't nobody entitled to sex lol

[@tehbunnehfawks]

People, there's a distinct difference from ignorant and hateful. I fully admit my ignorance on this subject. I fully admit that I do not know how to be physically intimate with trans-people. Before you bite my head off----Trans people are individuals with different needs and some have deep shame and dysphoria with certain body parts. So Yes I will continue to state that "I don't know how, I want to...believe me I do...but I don't know how. Please tell me how you like to be treated." I'm not going to be hateful or hide it. I am a blunt and truthful and shy person. I am also trans... so there you go.

[@bryntendo]

You expect me to believe you were actually speechless? You, Chase Ross, legitimately speechless, like, no words and absolutely nothing to say? No goddamn way! 😂😂

[@xeganxerxes4319]

It might seem shallow, but people are allowed to have their own preferences. That's all I can say.

[@knes167]

Exactly. Thank you

[@tristanlanphere7736]

it shouldn't be about preferences, how bout no cos I don't want to.

[@NikkiTrudelle]

Dude literally told me in the middle of a crowded beach in front of a group of people,” oh you’re trans ? I wouldn’t efff you unless you had surgery on your face to make it more feminine. Which would be a fine response if I had asked him out , not being physically attracted is fine . I won’t judge people for that , but why the hell do people sometimes say ,” oh your trans .... ( let me say something inappropriate about your appearance or genitalia) “

[@second_conflict]

Unfortunately, I've been rejected a few times as well, sometimes very rudely and in front of many people. My freshman year of college I had a crush on a guy who was (kind of) part of my friend group. Him, me, and like 8 of our friends went out for breakfast one day. Everything was fine until someone started teasing me about my crush on him all in good fun (he was aware of it). Then the guy launched into a diatribe about how he would NEVER date a transmen and that (TW anatomy) vaginas are disgusting and he's a "true gay". It was horrible but it was GREAT seeing my friends rip him apart for saying that stuff to my face. Also, I was in a 3 year relationship with a guy who rejected me. One day when he was angry, he finally admitted he could never be attracted to a transman, my anatomy was gross, etc. He then started babbling about "Oh sorry not everyone's pansexual, sorry biology matters to me, etc." I thought it came out in anger to hurt me (still not okay). He seemed genuinely sorry so I gave him one more chance. Big mistake, because that was him being honest. So learn from me kids. If someone says ANYTHING like that - leave. Don't be in denial. You'll save yourself a lot of misery.

[@lordfreeza_]

Sawyer Wood so you are shaming people for having a sexuality??? Wow how dare a GAY man say he's not attracted to vaginas... 😩😩 Seriously can't you see how narcissistic and self absorbed you sound?? Sexuality is based on the biological sexuality you find attractive.. Hence the name "SEXuality" ... You are basically trying to say that people shouldn't be allowed to have a sexual preference because it hurts your feelings...

[@vampre15]

Noooo it's the going off part that's obnoxious. Ppl going off abt not being attracted to any specific trait would be awkward for the person right there w that trait, whether or not they're attracted to the person going off.

[@vampre15]

Dude that sucks, how the fuck would u be w someone for THREE YEARS if you're not into them like that???? That's on ur ex, he's an asshole.

[@lordfreeza_]

Samuel RL people are attracted to different sexes.. If you're attracted to men that includes the male genitalia... That's not "reducing people to parts" it's just the reality of how sexuality works..

[@vampre15]

You didn't seem to comprehend what I said, although it's more likely you're purposely misinterpreting + being disingenuous.

[@gabriel_6990]

I'm going into college soon and I think I'm gonna skip out on the whole dating thing, there really arent many people who know transmen exist :/

[@salaltschul3604]

Don't miss out on opportunities to know yourself and others because of fear. There are so many brilliant people out there -- and not just regarding dating -- that will miss out on your own brilliance because of that fear. I promise you, even though there will be awkward moments that happen (because this is LIFE we're talking about!), you will have a great time. Be confident and stand tall. You're great and there are lots of great people out there. Of course, if you feel unsafe -- different to insecure -- then of course do what's best for yourself in that situation. Safety is number one. But don't shelter yourself because shit might get weird sometimes. You'll do great.

[@xoxolalalalala]

Alex Ping seriously. i've been out of the dating scene for the entire 18 years of my life. and i've definitely had some cute girls / guys who were into me but couldn't get into it because i wasn't fully comfortable with myself. i think the best thing is to be open with someone you're going to have sexual relations with, some may like it some may not but you did your part in giving them the information. do be careful though.

[@sweetytweety0011]

There may be lgbtq+ clubs at your college. Maybe join them. Even though I’m straight, me and my friend who is a lesbian went and she found lots of people like her. I met trans people and learned what being trans meant for the first time ever there. Anyway, look out for that if possible!

[@user-qx8bu1cz2u]

you aren't entitled to sex.

[@charleshaire420]

BINGO!!!!!! We have a WINNER!!!!!!

[@farina7584]

Nobody wants to date ignorant people anyway, if someone doesn't want to date me. I move on, harping on it is no good for you or your self esteem. There are plenty cis men, cis women, transmen, transwomen and nonbinary people who want to date me. If i just focus on the ones who don't want me because i am trans then i would lose my sanity. Try dating other trans people too Chase, it's more amazing in my opinion.

[@salaltschul3604]

Dude, I have to say, your username fucking rules!

[@firekrumbz1062]

dude if you're not attracted to a certain genital type you're not attracted to that general type doesn't matter what you identify as what you are who you are what it is why are you upset or even bitching at the fact that someone's own liking own choice in preference is an issue because it doesn't match to what you are grow up move on

[@DamienXavier1828]

I’ve been rejected a number of times because of this. You just gotta find that right person. I met a cis straight girl, she was worried at first but she asked questions and here we are dating now for 8 months. People just need to actually ask and approach things delicately instead of making assumptions. But you’ll find the right guy or gal. Just takes time. ^.^

[@ceveau]

despite me being pretty big and naturally curvy, I'm rather androgynous looking so dudes are gonna be confused. I'm also dominate so questions of genitals wouldn't make sense anyway.

[@meseeksanddestroy1312]

Dating in general is hard, whether your straight, gay, handicap ,or trans. People have preferences.

[@parallel4]

Ah yes, the four genders: straight, gay, handicap, and trans.

[@KEV73-c3g]

Sorry but I couldn't date someone trans and would be very angry If that fact was kept secret

[@RileyEffective]

'in the middle of a conversation we were having, probably about food' xD

[@Raph338]

Omg I was feeling so bad because of dysphoria wondering if I had the energy to go to university today and you just made me feel better, less lonely, you're awesome (and insanely cute btw)

[@karenmacdonald8434]

Sex is pretty hardcore about genitalia for anyone who's not pansexual, so the vast majority of the population. Not to mention, (if you're not asexual)sex is extremely important in relationships. If I was trans I would completely understand why that matters, even though I also understand the frustrated of trans people on this

[@dutchik5107]

k oh I'm pretty sure plenty of people who are just bisexual are also fine with you having the other genitals. And cis gay guys are most likely fine with doing anal. And so are many straight guys that maybe just don't wanna see your dick. This gets slippier though. Straight women can be fine with just receiving oral. I guess. I think the biggest problem is with lesbians. Not that I can say anything. Cause I'm just bisexual and never really been attracted to a trans person. Not that I know many. And the one my age I know I'm cool with. But I would NEVER get in a relationship with him. Not cause he trans. But he ma second cousin (and classmate) like hell nah.

[@handmadewithlovebytraceyan3289]

Very inappropriate and totally ridiculous. My only questions would be (and not in a inappropriate conversation or place) what is a no go . What things will trigger disphoria . Id feel the need for that conversation to take place as id hate to make anyone uncomfortable. Im glad im not on the dating scene today though omg some of the things i hear. Rude rude rude.

[@evanl6819]

Being rejected for being trans is no worse than being rejected for not having a specific body type the other person likes

[@alexcole4970]

This is my favourite video that I have seen of yours in months. Good to see you owning that shit!

[@aaronpierce4443]

2:26-2:38 u kill me chase omg xD... what a terrible situation though

[@bloodyrascal90]

Its the unfortunate reality for many people when navigating the apps especially the gay apps. You should not be upset if people reject you. Clearly they are missing out. Would you want to date or sleep with someone who is ignorant? I get rejection as being a black gay cis male all the time. Unfortunately for some, the type of genitals a person has is very important when wanting to date, especially for a lot of cis gay males. Because sexual chemistry is important in a relationship to them. You just have to move on and not dwell on it. It doesn't make sense wasting the time or energy on someone who does not deserve it. There are plenty quality people out there that would be interested in dating you.

[@tristanlanphere7736]

no straight person would write a monologue about how angry they are about being dumped

[@pengmi37]

Chase. How would i actually ask the person nicely (without him being hirt or offended) if i know he or she is trans and i wanted to know if he or she had a bottom surgery?

[@ShikisaiMaki]

dRei Lumba I would ask them "are you comfortable talking about your transition/anatomy? Are there any topics or words to avoid? What words should I use to make you feel comfortable?"

[@pengmi37]

BananeSurBalcon thank you for this. I just dont want to offend someone or hurt their feelings in the process of just asking things :) thank you again

[@Isak-H]

Ask if they would be comfortable with the question first. That would be nice

[@Doridantoni]

I suggest not bringing it up on the first date... ;) You probably would not want someone asking about the size and shape of your genitalia on the first date (unless it's a sex thing). And perhaps they will even start talking about it at some point anyway...

[@HalTheAl]

Problem is a lot of these apps are used exclusively for hook ups, so if that's what you're after it's gonna make sense (even though i know how much it sucks) to pop that question right away.

[@marshallseid222]

It’s a preference 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@oldschoolrock4evr]

That is life, i got rejected a million times and i have a feeling that maybe its because im really short and not atractive :( it is what it is tho keep your chin up and in time you ll find someone that appriciates you. People are heartless and cruel but even more cruel is life itself, i found out that as soon as you take things for what they are you begin to live again.

[@lordfreeza_]

NeutralKZbinr how is not wanting to have sex with you "heartless and cruel" ??

[@oldschoolrock4evr]

Its not cruel, its the way some people get back at you, they could be a little more polite to say the least...

[@lordfreeza_]

NeutralKZbinr well they probably feel lied to

[@oldschoolrock4evr]

Not in my cases, people come in all types so we cant go into that innit...

[@lordfreeza_]

NeutralKZbinr what?? Yeah people come in different shapes, but the word "man" is a descriptive term that describes physical characteristics.. One of these is "male" so if your calling yourself a man but you aren't actually male then most people will feel lied to.. Sexuality is based on biological sex. Just put your a "transman" on your profile that way the people who contact you will be people who are okay with dating trans.

[@ellenrichardson8701]

This was a cute story! You have a very positive attitude. Much Love!

[@gwarner9162]

When talking to a NB person and you decide you are interested at having sex together is that an appropriate time to ask what parts someone has, in a respectful way of course? I'm ftm by the way

[@noahgoldsworthy1159]

I get this all the time and i've deleted every dating app and profile- i'm done with narrow minds and ignorant people.

[@tristanlanphere7736]

lmao most people won't take a trans person in a million chances. No one is obligated to date you and if they say no it means no

[@IITJII95]

No means no

[@azraeltarquin7946]

I’ve had really nice conversations with a guy and he, I guess, didn’t read my profile and once he found out I was trans he called me so much shit then blocked me

[@lesarasure2740]

Seems he also was assuming you would consent to having sex without asking. Sounds like he was most concerned about himself. Glad you dodged that buffoon! :)

[@mitch668]

its inappropriate for someone to ask abt what surgeries uve had but also inappropriate to assume... ?okay lol

[@gregruns]

Omg, Chase! Please tell, share, describe, elaborate on those things you can do that no one else can!

[@jimmybrady8722]

With the guy that said, "idk how sex would work because your trans" I would have said, "well idk how sex would work because your cis" I wonder what he would have said to thay

[@Dellennickolis95]

Jimmy Brady Cis people make the overwhelming majority of the population so it wouldn’t make sense for a trans person to say that. Trans people are extremely small minority so when a gay guy says that, it’s 100% reasonable. If that’s one of his read for not screwing you, it’s his right.

[@jimmybrady8722]

Dellen Brochure I was just joking I wouldn't say that I would just be understanding sorry for any confusion I just like to make jokes out of hard things because it makes me feel better😊

[@pmbluemoon]

DAYUM BOI.... you make me feel so.... wishing you lived in Minnesota? haha! I know your peen wall, and am VERY envious of it! I don't travel well so I can't say "lets meet up" and there's always that "I'm not what you're looking for" or "I'm too old for you" (I'm 41) I am attracted to your mind, your ability to be extrovert but NEED the introvert to recuperate, I hate saying this in the comments on a public channel, but heck. I'm not on any of those websites, I gave up on those a LONG time ago. Even if it's ONLY just to meet you, it would be fun to tell you how much you have changed my view on myself and society, and how much your personal work and podcasts have changed my confidence, I would settle for that and be happy to let you know you are a huge light in my life, and also contributed to, not just me, but a whole group of people up here in Minnesota, to start and LGBT+ group and gather together for support! BLESS!!! I wish we could collect airfare to get you to come speak at our group, (there's about 10 of us, but only about 4 of us show up on any given Tuesday!) But, you helped me talk to my therapist and get the ball rolling for this group as well!! THANK YOU CHASE!!! I hate that rejection is always in the cards for people like us, but don't get too disheartened, I'm hoping you find someone fun to be with soon!! :)

[@UmUhKet26]

Oh boo hoo, stop whining. Rejection isn't something that happen only to trans people, I've been (rudely) rejected for multiple times because my personality is too bland (they kinda right-ish). Welcome to the cruel world Chase, not everyone in this world is a sunshine, sparkly, well mannered people. Put your thick skin on.

[@laropalina]

Honey it's a trans channel. Let him talk about his experiences. Why tf are you watching?!

[@laropalina]

Just be kind and not an arse okay? I mean

[@Hannah-hx5sp]

Oh hunti i would take you on a date tomorrow

[@alexscott1554]

No, it is not different. Sexual things are a large part of most relationships.

[@vincentvangoghaway7778]

This was posted on my birthday!

[@thebestwillow]

Maybe it seemed relevant to him because he wanted to have food sex with you? People are idiots when it comes to sex. Anyone who thinks they "know what to do" sexually with anyone....odds are they will never have a truly satisfied sexual partner, because every sexual experience involves desires that are slightly different than every other, and this attitude says they do the same things every time they have sex. Pity them and their sexual partners!

[@treeman8882]

So your mad bc they have preferences

[@ajaxstrange]

Oh Chaseypoo I'd date you in a second!

[@ssagere4958]

Jax Strange you must have low standards lmao

[@spiderpunk1265]

Supreeta Sagere im not agreeing or disagreeing with your comment, but your profile pic just screams "ew ugly af" to me. Your personality just made it worse tho ahaha

[@paulbeauchamp5252]

Damned if you do and damned if you don't with trans people. Choosing a private place and time to tell you what he thought, and you are offended. You never thought about the fact that what he said came out because it was dominating his thoughts. Wow.

[@demistarty4718]

I got my binder today! 🙌

[@ryderbrady6000]

One time I accidentally spent $80 on bumble 😂

[@dutchik5107]

Ryder Brady how even

[@turtleking7772]

This. Fucking this.

[@akjy155]

To all the non trans people be SeNsItIvE cause us transses can’t handle rejection

[@lordfreeza_]

Keenan White or reality...

[@OmfgHiii]

Lord Freeza it’s called dysphoria

[@lordfreeza_]

mafer you mean the opposite of euphoria???

[@lordfreeza_]

mafer that's a feeling.. Doesn't change facts

[@spiderpunk1265]

Keenan White i can. It's their fuckin loss. Im a sexy mofo

[@rosestone27]

Welcome to the dating world of gay men. Surely you know how prevalent hookup culture is to the gay male community.. that's what Grindr is all about. Sorry to disappoint.

[@chasevanhook3415]

Oooh my name is chase!!

[@mandyevalinkert4400]

Yup I hear you chase!! I told what happened to me on Instagram about my rejection because I am gay man transman it horrible!! But I wouldn't reject you ❤😉😁

[@lordfreeza_]

Blake Evans Linkert gay men are not attracted to the female body . You can't get mad at people for having a sexuality..

[@chompchompmaster2885]

I'm glad you were

[@Karmageddonn]

I mean, you can't be really surprised by the rejection. Gay men want other cis men. Maybe just the thought alone that used to be a woman is a major turn off. I know it would be for me. Js.

[@alexej6080]

Maybe not all gay guys are the same? I'm a transguy in a relationship with a man... He doesn't mind if I reach for my prosthetic at that point. XP

[@UmUhKet26]

Alexander Vermeylen that's fine, but try to not force or shame others for not having the same preference as you. OK?

[@Dellennickolis95]

Alexander Vermeylen Well maybe he’s some degree of bisexual then, don’t ya think? Also if gay men are into trans men why not talk about them instead of talking about the ones who aren’t into you, and trying to shame them into dating trans guys.

[@parallel4]

+Dellen Brochure You don't need to be bi/pan in order to date a trans person. I agree that you can have dating preferences, but you don't need to transphobically imply that binary trans people aren't 100% male or female and therefore attraction to them is bi/pan. I'm a straight dude and my gf is trans.

[@George0Harrison]

#Chaseistranstrender

[@undeniabletruth3550]

Its terrible to ne influenced by a demon Like him, its Just sad😕

[@brad6416]

He looks stoned 😏🤔

[@tonycollins6946]

Still a girl

[@ivyalexandra8053]

If I were attracted to men,which I am not, I would rather go out with a trans men.

[@dutchik5107]

Ivy Alexandra and that's why you are a lesbian 😂