Chatting About Life

[@jdthompson01]

You have done your part for the trans community. You don’t have to be the flag barrier for trans people forever. I am so grateful your story. I just lost my job because of my transness so I totally want you to do what is best for you. You have done your part. ❤❤❤❤ don’t beat yourself up about it your allowed to share or not to share. You’re good. You deserve to happy. Private or public.

[@brynnavery]

So sorry to hear about you losing your job. That’s awful. I hope you can find a job that treats you better. And thank you so much for your support 💛

[@patmccarthy7907]

nice the best channel on youtube is back :D

[@brynnavery]

Omg you’re so sweet!

[@idasvenning3892]

Where I live we often say "people with trans experience" when talking about trans people/issues because it not only includes everyone that actively identifies as trans, but also people who feel like their transition is done, and detransitioners. I don't know if that resonates with you at all but I was reminded of that when you talked about not making your transness known as much

[@brynnavery]

I’ve heard that phrasing before, there’s a tiktoker named Mardi who’s 62 (I think) and started transitioning at 15. And in most of her videos she says she’s a woman of trans experience. I think the phrasing of that is pretty cool! I think though for me I’d just wanna keep my transness private or a “mystery.” I feel like my experience as a trans person is very vulnerable, so offering up that info, regardless of how it’s worded, feels like giving a very intimate part of myself away. I don’t mind (mostly) people making assumptions, but I think I only like discussing my transness with close friends (and here on KZbin 😊)

[@lensolla7777]

"I have to trust that people then see me for who I am". Yep that's it! That's why coming out to people feels so yuck

[@brynnavery]

Exactly!

[@DrJamieTalks]

Great to hear from you! I don’t think there is anything wrong with feeling as though you were born in the wrong body. I think this remains a legitimate way to describe how many trans and non-binary people experience gender. Please keep us informed about your decision whether to do face surgery. For me, the changes in my brow and orbits following FHS brought me the most euphoria. Either way, you’re beautiful and fabulous. Be well! 💕🏳️‍⚧️😊

[@brynnavery]

Thank you so much! It’ll probably be a while if I do ever decide to get brown ridge reduction. But I’ll probably do the same kind of videos I did for my bottom surgery. I definitely know that “ideally” I’d have a flatter brow ridge. But the commitment to such an invasive procedure is.. a much different story. Plus there’s other parts of my body that aren’t “ideal” to me, but I love them because they’re a part of me. So I just have to figure out if my brow ridge is something that feels like me or not. Right now all I know is I don’t like it lol, but I’m working on that 😊

[@znswanderer]

Hi Bryn! So nice to hear from you again! It’s interesting that you are talking about the insecurity/dysphoria concering the brow ridge: I just came back from Spain where I had FFS! The reason for me to have this surgery was surely a mixture of insecurity and dysphoria, but also euphoria. From the beginning of my transition I thought about FFS, but I was always unsure, not at least, because the FFS is so expensive. But shortly after my GCS I looked in the mirror and I kind of liked what I saw, but I wanted more of that! I can relate so much of what you are saying, that head on, my face was OK, but the side view really showed my primary puberty (this is a nice wording BTW!). So I booked a FFS. The surgery was less than 3 weeks ago and there is still much swelling, but I think I will be very happy, once all the swelling is gone. And the other thing is, that I had really no good passing before. Hopefully this will improve (although I am still 6’1). And here I can relate to the internalized transphobia. I always feel "less than" compared to cis women and are so insecure in their presence. I am always asking myself: Am I allowed to be here? Always looking for their permission. Not good for self-confidence. Going stealth (if that is possible for me) could help with that. I really liked what you said about "hugging the fear". This is something I am trying myself and sometimes it works ;) As said, it’s always so nice to hear from you again, but don’t feel obligated to post!

[@brynnavery]

Congratulations on your FFS!! I hope you’re healing well, I know you posted this a while ago. I totally get what you mean about looking for permission to “be a woman” (for lack of better wording). You deserve to be yourself, even when others don’t give you permission. I hope you’re recovering well, and enjoying your results. Much love 💛

[@honeybeeanie]

Hearing you and others in the comments sharing stories from their lives and really getting into the meat of these complicated emotions makes me feel so comforted that others feel exactly the same way I do about their gender, Christianity, society, etc. Today’s my very first day on estrogen(!!!) and I’m so excited and happy but so nervous and scared and having someone share what they experienced and felt and did during the same times in their lives makes me really optimistic about my future! I’m just a sophomore in college, I’m dual majoring in Physics and Electrical Engineering and I’m gonna turn 20 next week! I have no idea what my future holds and I don’t have a clue how I’m going to achieve my goals in life, but its so insightful and inspiring to hear how other people like me dealt with and felt about the time I’m going through right now. Much love to all

[@brynnavery]

I know I’m 3 months late, but congrats on starting HRT 💛 I hope it’s going well for you! I started HRT less than 3 weeks before I turned 20, so you’re starting right around the same time I did! Also, happy birthday! Best of luck with everything, and congratulations again 💛

[@Rhyswithoutherspoon]

Your videos are always just what I need. I cannot articulate how much hearing your journey has helped me. I really appreciate everything you do. Please keep thriving ❤

[@brynnavery]

That makes me so happy. I’m glad I can help 💛

[@Hades3390]

Thank you for posting this video and all the ones previously. I'm amab but nonbinary and trans questioning, and it's been very encouraging to hear your experiences. Side note, I totally agree about "dysphoria vs insecurity"; I wouldn't judge a friend if they wanted cosmetic surgery but personally I have spent a lot of time criticising my own appearance and it's so freeing to start to learn to accept your "flaws", even as I consider starting HRT 🌻

[@brynnavery]

I’m glad my video could help you! And yes, learning to love your “flaws” is totally freeing and liberating. Something I’ve been learning for the past year or so. Best of luck in your endeavors, and whatever you decide in regards to transitioning (or not transitioning) 💛

[@jdthompson01]

My procedure is December 20 with Dr Del Corral. 😀😀😀😀😀 I’m having the robotic intestinal revision.

[@brynnavery]

Omg congratulations!!!! If you’re allowed/feeling up for visitors I’d love to come see you!!

[@LettaLeeJoy]

Just for the record, I think you pass super well and your sort of femininity is like the femininity I'm striving for. Whatever else you do from here, thank you for being visible. Thank you for what you've done. It came right when I needed it. It's one of the things that gave me the courage to be on hrt.

[@brynnavery]

Thank you for your support. I’m really glad my videos have been so helpful to you. Best of luck 💛

[@kayla8402]

Heyyy good to see you show up again! Yeah, the old school "transition and disappear" shouldn't be necessary, but the flip side is, you just... live your life and that's good. Even being open about it, everybody needs time to themselves. You're allowed your privacy and boundaries within your life. Realistically "trans" isn't meant to be an identity, it's a descriptor. It's what you ARE but also it doesn't define you, because of course it doesn't, it's just one aspect of life (even if other people don't react to it that way). You don't owe people information about you; we're all allowed to have information we keep on a priority level. I'm just a little over a year on hrt and starting laser, and it's forcing me to really confront major change in my life and my engrained mindset, (I'm 40, we're talking about 20 adult years) of reinforcing how I interact with people, how I think about myself... it's A LOT to break down and a constant process of reaccepting myself all over again. One of my favorite tv coming out quotes is "this really is terrifying, isn't it? I don't want my whole life to change", even though I need it to. Really hitting all over again how BIG of a change I really need and how much I want to be able to just... disappear inside a new self, that girl version of me, barely knowing who I really am.

[@brynnavery]

Thank you for your support 💛 I hope you’re able to live your life the way you see fit. I was able to begin my transition just after high school, so my life was already changing in a lot of ways, and that made it easier for me to change with it. My mom transitioned when she was in her mid thirties, and her life completely changed. She lost her wife, her kids, most of her friends (we were pretty involved with the church, both my parents were on the worship team). She lost her relationship with her parents too. Anyways, all this to say, it worked out for her. She has a relationship with her kids (I actually live with her at the moment), and while she doesn’t have her church friends or her wife, she has a support group of people who care about her. She and her mom are closer than they were. Unfortunately her father never came around, and he passed back in 2014. So theres definitely some loss, and some big challenges, but overall she’s happier. And you deserve to be happy too. I hope you’re able to work through whatever you need to work through and get to a place where you can be your authentic self. You deserve to lead your life the way that you want to. Much love 💛

[@oatymilkshake]

I'm so glad that you chose to share some of your life and your thoughts with us because you're wonderful person. Stay strong, you are loved, and we will always have your back. Happy holidays. ❣️

[@brynnavery]

Thank you so much. Much love 💛

[@DedicatedAmber]

Thank you for the update 💜

[@brynnavery]

Of course 💛

[@QHG415]

Please don’t feel any pressure to continue posting or advertising the fact that you’re trans on social media. You’ve chosen to put out a lot of amazing content and insight, and it has helped a ton of people. Even if you stopped posting forever, you have had more of a positive impact than the overwhelming majority of people who have gone through a similar path. It sounds like you might be at a part of your journey where moving on from publicly discussing your trans identity could be important for your growth and confidence as a person. Your insights on this make a ton of sense

[@brynnavery]

I appreciate this so much. I’m not sure what the future holds in regards to my channel, but I’m so thankful for people like you who support me regardless. Much love 💛

[@QHG415]

@@brynnavery much love ❤️

[@briannamurray804]

I’ve been following you since you’ve started youtube. I really love your chats. I appreciate how deep and intelligent you are. I’m a lesbian and cisgender. Some of my friends are trans though. I wish I knew you in real life. I’m grateful for social media and getting to interact with so many people we otherwise wouldn’t.

[@brynnavery]

That means so much to me, thank you. I appreciate your support 💛

[@bluecandy99]

I have appreciated everything you have put out so far but you are under no obligation to share this stuff with us if you dont want to. You have shared yourself with us and that has been helpful but you dont have to. You are allowed to be a private person just like everyone else.

[@brynnavery]

Thank you so much for your support 💛

[@jaynalerta]

Thank you Bryn

[@brynnavery]

That makes me so happy to hear. Best of luck with everything, you deserve to live your best life 💛

[@parisz]

Love you, Bryn. /Germany ❤

[@brynnavery]

🥹💛

[@gabrielraphael8084]

You give me courage. I am 40 and have had a hard time with the whole transition question, mostly because of fear. It would be my dream to transition in the way you have, retaining androgynous freedom. And if I became a lesbian in the process, that would be a huge bonus 💙🌈🐦

[@brynnavery]

I completely understand fear. And maybe not in the same ways you do, since I came out at 18, and you’ve lived many adult years in the closet, so I’m sure that comes with many struggles that I haven’t experienced. But regardless I do understand fear to some degree in regards to transition. I will say, one of the most common things I hear from trans people (myself included) is that they wish they would’ve come out/started transitioning sooner. Change can be hard, and there’s never any pressure to do something you’re not ready for or something you’re not confident in yet. But I just thought I’d share that. Much love 💛

[@joaovitordossantos9726]

Enjoying from Brazil!!

[@brynnavery]

💛

[@jaynalerta]

I can understand the Point that you don't like that people know your trans. I feel the same i just want that people see mw as a girl not as a trans Girl i don't know why, but i feel better with this.

[@3bydacreekside]

Yayyyy B 💜 Ugh I'm so late to this 😩

[@brynnavery]

lol that’s ok!! I appreciate your support 💛

[@DrJaneLuciferian]

It's great to hear from you again :^) You've been missed, Bryn. As someone trans, and identifying as female, though in real life I feel more nebulously between the old male me and the newer female me, I could see how putting non-binary before being trans actually makes a lot of sense. With our social evolution, as the larger trans community develops openly, I think that being trans will evolve away from the gender binary in general. I could see a future where we kick the gender binary to the curb to be replaced with a spectrum-centric world view of gender expression.

[@brynnavery]

Aw thank you! 💛 and yeah I do think we’re moving towards a much better world. Even looking at how sexuality has expanded and become much more fluid. People don’t have to “come out” as gay anymore. At 14 I never imagined we could have a world like that, and 13 years later here we are. I do think as time goes on we are creating a much better world, and one where gender doesn’t define much of anything-is simply a reflection of how we feel. And that’s a world where everyone can thrive.

[@DrJaneLuciferian]

@@brynnavery Ya, I think our growth potential as a community, and what we can contribute to the cis world by simply being a different way of being is going to shape the future for the better. I really appreciate your well thought out analysis. We need more of that on social media. Ok, enough of buttering you up, lol. Have a great day :^)

[@mynameissurya19]

I love youuuuu!

[@brynnavery]

Omg 🥹💛

[@Morrphinne]

Arg, the sound is bad on this...

[@brynnavery]

Oops lol