Cheap Coffee Reviewed By A Coffee Expert

Do you agree with our expert?
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Special Thanks to Wes Johansen and Molly Shea
MUSIC:
Piano Sonata
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[@tirthpatel1562]

next hot wheels reviewed by a lamborghini engineer

[@agasthyakasturi2514]

Tirth Patel this was bomb....the best comment

[@ionelingad4552]

why is this not a video yet !!!!???

[@smoothie6529]

LMFAO

[@maddog7999]

Tirth Patel really. this guy is a Lamborgini engineer to you?

[@Me-eb3wv]

lmao

[@DiBieberInFever]

I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely using 'side of the road cantaloupe' to describe stuff now.

[@Byrnzi360]

Some of the best cantaloupes I've ever had were purchased from vendors on the side of the road. Some of the worst cantaloupes I've ever had were found abandoned on the side of the road.

[@broman1449]

Mom: how's school Me:side of the road cantaloupe

[@sydnaestewart2477]

Byron MacGreggor why were you eating cantaloupe you foubd abandoned on the side of the Damn road

[@croissis]

yep ^_^ lol

[@AlbinoAxolotl]

Bugghetti Bug HA you beat me to it! Side of the road cantaloupe!! lol!

[@MrFab_]

He uses the most bizarre adjectives to describe coffee.

[@numanuma20]

Mr. Fab Not really

[@hughgeerekshan6228]

Chris Garner grape jolly rancher

[@NewBoy0606]

That is how you know he is an expert. That is how it works.

[@AS-ee9bo]

They're accurate descriptions, though.

[@clarencechung122]

like how does he know how burnt rubber tastes like tho

[@TURBONERD]

To people who are saying this guy is an idiot: He's comparing CHEAP coffee. He's giving Folgers 4 stars in a competition of its peers, not against real, good quality coffee.

[@kamdaddypurp3341]

Squrt if you think all coffee is the same then you haven’t tried other coffees

[@Guldfisken90]

@@squrt7701 It's all mostly down to how you make the coffee heating is "VERY" important, and coffee should be drunk quite fast, else the beans tend to go bitter in the water eventually

[@edweefication]

@@squrt7701 there are so many varieties of coffee bean, so it's quite normal to have different quality of coffee. Not to mention the brewing method are diverse too.

[@Coolwater83]

He’s not even tasting any coffee. It’s a joke. He’s probably just sipping water out of that cup

[@omegamagna]

I'm sorry but if you give starbucks one star and folgers 4 stars; your taste buds are wrong.

[@brittanytaylor3261]

All the basics are complaining because he said Starbucks was shit xD

[@briangriffin5701]

Starbucks is shit. That's why they put a ton of sweeteners in it. Good coffee needs very little(if any)sweetener.

[@souleatergeek7464]

It's also overpriced and I can make better coffee at home.

[@SalainenMursuNinja]

Tbh the frappes and teas are okay, but the original coffee etc. Sucks

[@SalainenMursuNinja]

*suck

[@justinh2150]

Honestly though, Starbucks coffee is actually pretty good compared to other fast food or coffee places. But to know the differences, you would have to drink "normal" coffee enough.

[@kithmikslmao9263]

Do Water reviewed by Water Expert

[@jenevie_delloson]

Side of the road cantaloupe guys, side of the road cantaloupe.

[@feline-gamerflocket7541]

+13CrazyDaisies no it's cause he tasted melon and burned rubber

[@RamseyLEL]

I used to own a business with 2 manufacturers that were Amish, in Amish country horse poop on the road is called a Road Apple.....what on God's Green Earth would a Road Cantaloupe be?!?!

[@sharonkoehler2447]

No, they don't. Actually local country farmers set up road side stands and sell fresh fruit and vegetables at a lower price than what you pay in the store AND it's better! See my Facebook page for a picture of road side peaches.

[@MilkSteak23]

haha yeah I started to think he's just saying any random words that pop into his head to describe each one.

[@joeysilva2391]

Jenevie Paige almost beefy

[@ronin9619]

Jolly rancher? Beefy? Side of the road cantaloupe? What kind of “expert“ is this

[@ronin9619]

Lol note of water ITS A FUCKIN DRINK

[@ronin9619]

No because i taste the richness of the coffee

[@revenge680]

I couldn't tell if this was a joke or not when I heard, "Grape Jolly Rancher" lol. I want someone to make a parody of this

[@KorDawg91]

A mega gay one

[@getrektm8785]

u taste the richness of maccas coffee? lmao

[@knugenavswarje734]

>tastes like a dirty asphalt >3.5/5 stars wut...?

[@andyofzz]

+Knugen av Swärje bitter can be enjoyable !

[@javeydones5163]

Yea I don't really understand his descriptions of the taste, burnt rubber? Apparently he eats a lot of weird things

[@johannehelland5726]

Damn, that's how experts refer to what they're tasting. Like, the wine is "round" or "big", "bright" and "oaked", "elegant", even "flamboyant" is a term used.

[@floramanzano4503]

he refers to the smell then the overall taste. pretty much he is saying the taste to him is better than the smell

[@Trevor.miller]

I need to know this man's life story

[@tomylim6022]

Trevor Miller he was drinking coffee since infant

[@shadowsniper3342]

Tomy Lim that explains a lot about this guy

[@callies8907]

He seems like the kind of guy who drinks fancy water.

[@dj-qo1ev]

I only drink reverse osmosis water.. ✌️

[@agunemon]

YOu mean like fiji spring water? personally I'm the clean tap and fresh from the reverse osmosis kind of guy...

[@agunemon]

Haha I work in a hospital and I get mine for free. XD

[@shadowsniper3342]

People who drink "fancy"water: it helps my complexion and is helther that cheap water. Me: you do realize it's just bottled tap water right.

[@calebsmithwick5249]

Anybody who says Starbucks has the best coffee has never had good coffee. Ever.

[@mmcblk05studio]

@@BakjeLeip oh no...

[@SarinaSayer7]

Okay but no way dunkin is better. It taste like pee with milk on a good day

[@Mosababumarzouk]

No one goes to starbucks for coffee anyways, they go to feel important.

[@cooleddie1438]

@@Mosababumarzouk i get a large mocha with a cut of lemon bread.

[@bop9132]

I think McDonald’s better if your talking about ice coffee

[@AdvancedEliteGaming]

People need to realise how hard it is to describe sensory properties. This guy is extremely detailed and creative. Absolutely love the 'side of the road cantaloupe'

[@sackofpeas2470]

That would be a fantastic title for a story.

[@RougeRemixMusic]

Side of the Road Cantaloupe by Fall Out Boy

[@yogamoshi567]

Yeah but as anything subjective, being an expert on your own taste is literally pointless.

[@SemmeCat]

Acled Maiden it's not about the own taste, it's about the quality if you taste a bad cake, it will be a bad and cheap cake and "cheap" is a kind of taste you can grasp now days. And some people love that taste, which is fine, it doesn't make it a good cake though

[@elkhunter8664]

Acled Maiden LOL. You nailed it. Best coffee I ever had was in the middle of the woods camping. It is all good when that is what you have.

[@hitejects]

side of the road cantaloupe

[@Ax3face]

+Hillary Bernal i was about to say this guy reminds me of gee and then your profile pic came up....

[@chelsrothery778]

+Hillary Bernal gerard is that u?

[@cicijones7801]

lol he said that when i was reading this comment

[@xander2698]

I'M GETTING SOME RANDOM FLAVOR NOTES. ALONG WITH SOME NOTES. AND A NOTE OR TWO. POSSIBLY WITH A HINT OF A NOTE. FOLLOWED WITH A NOTE. WITH A SIDE ORDER OF A NOTE. ALL HELD TOGETHER WITH A NOTE.

[@abbeymutcheson]

Can I like this more than once hahahahahaa

[@noahlangdon3073]

What's your favorite note of coffee?

[@McMilesE]

noah langdon Notes.

[@jordanbutler4333]

LMMFAO

[@xander2698]

I mean COME ON. GRAPE JOLLY RANCHER???!?!?

[@thatfatracc2258]

Nobody This guy:This tastes like air conditioning flavored jolly ranchers that was on the floor at Walmart

[@tsplays7234]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Pra4sanna]

So oddly specific lol

[@maximilianodominguez6191]

lmao this made my phone fall on my face

[@WilhelmIIIofHohenzollern]

Not so offensive!

[@samh9754]

How does one make a living off of drinking coffee? College may have prepared me for this.

[@JoseSLC]

its not really like a class you take, your simply a food critic, who specializes in coffee

[@DJ_POOP_IT_OUT_FEAT_LIL_WiiWii]

Practice drinking from a cup, swirling the liquid in your mouth and spitting in a bucket. Then you have to learn a few buzzwords.

[@DJ_POOP_IT_OUT_FEAT_LIL_WiiWii]

secretspy1 Spittoon - Traditionally a spittoon is used for the taster to expel the sipped cup that is being tasted. The spittoon is typically large and held between the legs of the taster to facilitate spitting.

[@JoseSLC]

secretspy1 k

[@DJ_POOP_IT_OUT_FEAT_LIL_WiiWii]

secretspy1 Got it from the coffee cupping (tasting) page on Wikipepedia. I'm not trying to be a smartass on something I don't know. I suggest you do the same before telling me Wikipedia is an inaccurate source.

[@brookebridgland1239]

I wonder what his coffees are made off, Jesus tears?

[@lemkelegion]

+Brooke Bridgland Nope, too watered down for my taste to be honest

[@joshuawelch607]

Only the finest naturally distilled artesian divinity tears can caress his java jabber

[@FIyingDumpling]

virgin mary's menstrual blood

[@gotikcicamacaa]

IKR

[@Mordenkainen322]

+Brooke Bridgland "After my 3rd or 4th sip i thought maybe this might be ok, If i forget my training" so in other words everything he says is in complete bias and looks at where the coffee came from and not the taste.

[@eyeizarandummugga]

Wait he practically calls the McDonalds Coffee tar and it got a "decent" score?

[@jpmthemonk]

+MrZee Coffee is not meant to be sweet all the time. Sometimes a crisper, less smooth taste makes for a richer experience (like eating dark chocolate or a stout beer). That said, I love "dessert" coffees.

[@eyeizarandummugga]

JPM I guess that's true, though it would've made more sense if he compared the coffee to something rich like dark chocolate or a stout beer instead of "tar" that's for sure. Then again, it could be argued that he liked it in comparison to the others he drank so far. He wasn't especially too fond of that Starbucks coffee either.

[@leyway]

Iced coffee in mcdonalds aint no joke.

[@davidleeroth784]

I drank coffee from literally 50 places over a 2month time period and McD's pawned them . Community coffee was good and the one at the Kolache Factory I forgot the name

[@justmechanicthings]

+MrZee Not too surprised since the Finnish drink "Rili" a tar flavored soft drink. so some people out there must like the taste of it.

[@tylerrjoseph]

"Side of the road cantaloupe" is a phrase I need to use more in my everyday vocabulary.

[@keldonmcfarland2969]

Actually, I've had literal side-of-the-road-cantaloupe. Apparently someone had a picnic with cantaloupe and left the seeds on the ground. There was a vine patch for a few years that produced "volunteer" fruit. It was a healthy, tasty bunch of good fruit.

[@GuruGrace67]

If I insult coffee and call myself a coffee expert can I get payed?

[@mafuyu5112]

Answer that to yourself lol

[@brendan5555]

He definitely wasn't bullied at school

[@frankieblack5206]

This is so sad. Yet so funny lol

[@johancarlberg1530]

He was maybe homeschooled to learn cool phrases and to drink coffee

[@kevle0405]

+jimmy mc chardench LOLL

[@CardizoneSemblance]

+jimmy mc chardench He could tear you to pieces...with just his words, pretty much like the girls in my school who happen to be the biggest bullies.

[@filippomedici364]

come to italy and drink a real coffee

[@guitar19971]

+Filippo Medici Italian coffee is amazing. I went on holiday there this summer and everywhere I went the coffee was reliably awesome. Even in an el-cheapo run down café they have good coffee.

[@patriciafebi9291]

+Firmansyah Sembiring yeah, i agree with you

[@nattt3842]

+Firmansyah Sembiring we do have good quality coffee SEEDS but other country's "progressed" coffees are still better than ours

[@SabellaHalfdragon]

+Filippo Medici I'd love too. Now loan me the money for airfare lol

[@jdanielgurrola]

+Filippo Medici Hi, in my country the only italian coffee I can get is lavazza and illy, they are this good coffees?

[@sh350z]

This Guy Probably Describes His Wife As A Taxmanian Devil With A Hint Of Green Apple Jolly Rancher

[@AK-47ISTHEWAY]

You mean his husband

[@Buttercup-vw2zo]

LMAO. Thats more like it

[@ArrakisSpiceAddict]

@@AK-47ISTHEWAY duuude!!! thank you for the laugh hahah

[@c4987]

His descriptions are so interesting... I need to see more reviews with him.

[@Schruk]

c4987 Gotta love side of the road cantaloupe.

[@cannedbreaddd]

c4987 Dirty assphalt.

[@mykiamoto7145]

+c4987 I know, I really like this guy lol

[@MarcelR-mp3gp]

+Moto Myki Does he have a KZbin Channel or something?

[@WowNice]

+Jack Francis The name sounds German?

[@Mstutoriallover]

the funny thing is, starbucks isn't even cheap. its like 5$ for 1 latte.

[@VegasLoungeAct]

Rachel Watson The more apt title for the video would have been about reviewing "popular" coffee, not "cheap" coffee.

[@natalieneighh5953]

Their coffee is cheap though, they were just testing plain coffee here, no latte.

[@SincerelyJenOh]

Rachel Watson plain coffee was a buck 25 last time i tried it. I also used the reusable cups so you get some kind of discount on it depending how generous the cashier wants to be

[@leeszikiat7953]

Rachel Watson Damn you Americans complaining at $5 a latte it's like at least $12.5 here.

[@Mstutoriallover]

Lee Szi Kiat hahaha.. im not even american, and never once did i say i was. get off your high horse, i dont care what you think, in a normal paying job, 13$ for a single coffee is not something i would ever indulge in because thats fucking ridiculous.

[@accountnumber90]

This guy must be really fun at parties.

[@kindeep]

Ohhh😂😂 lol imagine you hosted the party and he is sitting next to you and you ask "hey hows the coffee" and he's like... you know how😂😂

[@DJ_POOP_IT_OUT_FEAT_LIL_WiiWii]

This guy would fit in at the KZbin hero summit party.

[@asianweaboo3016]

accountnumber90 your picture is perfect with this comment😂

[@accountnumber90]

I am, in fact, no fun at parties

[@turtleindustries5134]

IXM360 Really? I got a hint of Salt from the comment

[@dwaynemondragon6421]

When it got to Folgers I started to get sweaty bc I’ve been drinking that every morning for years and didn’t want it to get the worst score

[@bearcat648]

That's a decent coffee in its class, but if you ever want to move up, it's worth it. It's really not that much more money.

[@leighfoulkes7297]

You need to get a coffee grinder and coffee beans; you will never be the same after it.

[@moustachio334]

Any basic Cuban, Dominican, or Puerto Rican coffee will probably be better if not even cheaper than Folgers. I haven’t lived in the USA in a long time so I don’t remember the typical prices.

[@SpaceCat80]

People are getting butthurt over his 1 star rating for Starbucks. You just feel bad you are paying 6 bucks for crappy coffee.

[@foobar_eve8813]

A cup of "cheap" coffee at Starbucks actually costs about 2 bucks, but, my, does that make a K-Cup seem economical! If you've ever been through the AM line at McDonald's, watching people order entire bags of cheap, greasy breakfast sandwiches, it's enough to convince you to get coffee almost anywhere else.

[@ishmel11]

DiffEq_03 not everyone goes for their greasy ass food some actually like McDonald's other stuff meanie -_-

[@TZmayo]

Thank you for your comment it speaks the truth

[@ggboy1208]

Hope you know... if you hear the noise when he drops the cup, there is nothing in it, and there is no steam coming off the cup either

[@leilaplummer2259]

Your comment is 100% true.

[@poobrains2080]

so basically "This coffee is terrible. 4 stars."

[@TaufikAkbar7]

means "this tastes strange as shit, but I like it!"

[@bighead996]

I guess he means related to those specific coffees because if he compared them to any good coffees they would all be like 1 or 2 stars

[@BishtrainerTai16]

He sounds exactly like all of the snobby and prude "taste experts" you find in all those anti american comments. American coffee? More like drinking tar. Only plebians dont have their own private Columbian farmer growing coffee beans in their backyard. :haughty british laugh:

[@squarehead444]

this made me very happy

[@yodagaming2559]

Sorry but Americans make some bad coffee with a few exceptions.

[@Epicloa]

I feel like trying to describe taste always comes off kind of snobby cause it's such a difficult thing to do with every day words. Like yea, you can try a nice red win and say "hurr this tastes good" but if you really want to try and describe the intricacies of it you are going to have to use some very odd phrases to help the other person sense it with you.

[@Wo0dGlue]

Pff, British amateurs. The Arabs shake their heads.

[@mike5142]

*Colombian

[@specialparadise]

I have been drinking coffee my whole life and I found DD coffee to be good way better than most of the other brands and miles ahead of Starbucks so I was like if this guy gives DD's coffee less than 3.5 stars he is full of BS but then he gave it a 4 out of 5. I think his expertise is legit.

[@bearcat648]

I agree. Also, Dunkin coffee is really on a different tier. IMHO, better than some of the cheaper gourmet coffees.

[@dw4101]

Yeah, I prefer their hot black coffee over Starbucks any day.

[@ryankelly1846]

Idk if they have it in ur area but Cumberland farms (convenient store) coffee is better than dunks in a side by side I randomly did haha and it's still $1

[@Artix902]

I live in Australia where we have top of the line espresso machines in every cafe but Dunkin' is still my favourite drip coffee

[@PROUDTOBEANAMERICAN55]

I like starbucks i dont like dunking tbh

[@fluffynoses]

LOL on what planet is Starbucks coffee "cheap?" lol wtf

[@ivettevazquez1413]

He means it's cheap tasting. The coffee to make is cheap but they sell for outrageous prices

[@fluffynoses]

ivette vazquez ah ok makes sense now

[@jbro8472]

+ivette vazquez yet everyone keeps buying it😂😂

[@ivettevazquez1413]

+jonathan mellace (Jbro106) that's true😂😂

[@jbro8472]

+Black Gemstone 😂😂

[@bingo.6587]

Starbucks, get it STAR, one star xD

[@oscarsanders07]

one star for many bucks

[@WatchdogGoon]

Oscar Sanders Bravo. 5 stars

[@bortbimpbon989]

Oscar Sanders I like your profile picture. It's WAY better than mine.

[@oscarsanders07]

Haley Wernz thanks man, I made it myself :D

[@bortbimpbon989]

Really? I made mine too! Wait.. no I didn't...

[@kylelindquist7634]

You know your life is going places when you undergo "years of training" to become a coffee expert.

[@ohshitniggaaa]

Years of training probably means working as a barista at some hipster coffee shop and blowing all of his bosses to get a job as a coffee critic

[@Trund27]

Jeepers.

[@petesandwich3246]

I think people like him are hired by companies like Dunkin/Starbucks/McDonalds/Tim Hortons to review coffee suppliers and varieties to pick the best kind. I remember McDonalds used to have a way way worse Coffee, but then they rolled out with a slightly better coffee.

[@rafaelmoura2103]

i dont think he would be talking about those coffees like he did if he could end up working for one of those companies someday

[@ancientcanopies]

He probably works for somewhere a lot nicer than these companies.

[@AshleyWeill]

You should do artist reviews cheap art supplies

[@denizaydn8988]

Ashley Weill very good idea!

[@DeJect_music]

That would be cool

[@zelsips]

Well i dont know i basically see art gallerys filled with just paintings looked like it was made by my little brother

[@AshleyWeill]

Little Chicken ahem ARTISTS review ART SUPPLIES such as brushes and canvases. Lol

[@zelsips]

Ashley Weill well just read the supplies part

[@jackmurphy8121]

Definatley not an expert xD what coffe has all the hints of shit he said. Hint of alkaline? Wtf

[@alicemary7913]

alkaline is in soil

[@philaudiostrike8746]

"taste of baking soda" would be an alkaline

[@myrtlebeachpimp]

obviously you dont know the basics garending and how plants grow

[@101FIRE101]

welcome to elementary school

[@alicemary7913]

***** he probably has technical terms for everything he tastes in the coffee but is using words and commercial items that a wider society can relate to. i'm guessing the grape would mean a fruity hint.

[@StonerMorrison]

Too bad he didnt do Tim Hortons Coffee

[@autbo]

Once at school, i said "STARBUCKS SUCKS!! THE COFFEE IS CHEEP!" and All the girls hated on me. LOL

[@partybear2579]

This is the most pretentious video I’ve ever seen...

[@xzenitramx666]

Josh Snow why?

[@apf777]

I bet you work at Starbucks.

[@gabrielfraser2109]

The adjectives he's using are so meaningless, he isn't actually saying anything. There seems to be no relation between his description and his rating.

[@aintnuthinbutathang1646]

Trust me dude things can get far more pretentious than this

[@aham2903]

He's just spouting out random words. What are the qualifications to be a coffee/ wine / beer / food reviewer? A pulse?

[@vladmatsnev]

You know, as a perfume reviewer i would say that it's a pretty hard thing to do and involves a lot of training. You have to try a lot of things. Sometimes they give you the perfume and you have to guess all the notes and stuff, same with coffee. This is interesting but hard.

[@GerryBolger]

I saw a 'wine expert' say that a wine "invites you in but leaves you standing at the door". About wine...

[@Yegggg]

wine is extremely hard, to become a master sommelier, which restaurants hire, you have to be able to pare the perfect wine with meals

[@umiluv]

Extremely sensitive sense of smell & taste and the ability to remember what other things taste like. As for the comment about wine inviting you in and leaving you at the door, it means the initial smell and flavor as you start tasting the wine are quite pleasant yet the flavor falls flat immediately after that initial taste. You can consider foods/drinks to have at minimum three stages of flavor - initial taste which includes smelling with your nose, while in the mouth and on the tongue, after swallowing which also typically includes exhaling. If you have a sensitive enough palate and the food/beverage is complex enough, you can assess the differences of the tastes at each stage.

[@GerryBolger]

umiluv I made that up as a joke, I wanted to see if anyone would believe me. Haha

[@maxwohrle1049]

Give him the same coffee twice. I wonder if he would notice

[@markkar3192]

No chance

[@chris17167]

But, his years of training!

[@DJHondimusPrime]

He rated McD and Foldgers higher than others lol

[@buddigabong]

if you gave me a starbucks coffee twice in a row I would definitely know. despite his unbearable vibe he was absolutely correct in how he evaluated these brands

[@nictotine264]

Mcdonalds uses newman's own.

[@FrugalWithCheese]

"Professional Coffee Taster"- wtf is that? Can I be the next- "Professional Toilet Paper Expert" to wipe away all this bull shit! Lol

[@enriquea01ea]

this should be the top comment

[@fenrirgg]

Just get someone to pay you for tasting toilet paper and then you're a professional toilet paper expert.

[@jayharbor5070]

Kleenex cottonelle, easy.

[@irvin295]

You'd be surprised the types of jobs out there

[@MissieK]

its an actuall job and you actually go to something like uni for this

[@williamacev2603]

I feel that this is fake. Almost like he is making fun of coffee snobs.

[@jeffreyjohansen4021]

He really is a coffee expert, but yes, he is making fun of coffee snobs (including himself). Very tongue in cheek. He was a barista at high end coffee shops in Cleveland and LA for over a decade.

[@zachp434]

Jeffrey Johansen I wanna punch this dude

[@Toast248]

It's always pleasant to watch starbucks git rekt.

[@TheButtshd]

Its been a good week

[@hamoodtatari]

Slightly-Burnt Toast XD slightly burnt toast XD

[@rizkytp]

Yeeeeeaaaaa

[@rictalmarlin9435]

Slightly-Burnt Toast they r overrated

[@jamesdivinagracia1713]

Really, you guys describe Starucks as cheap? White people....

[@pikanoob]

should have slipped some hipster artisan coffee in there to see if he noticed it was different

[@L_I_A_M_K]

You can actually taste a difference

[@friesxnxcoke]

The taste is very noticeable. I go to a local coffee beans roaster/coffee shop and I can tell when the espresso is different roast.

[@TheTrogdore]

Hopefully it's not too far from your safe space.

[@calebclaussen2536]

You have made my day, you passive aggressive genius

[@kirbyvore]

When you're trying so hard to be edgy and offensive that it's not even relevant.

[@GlitteryMunchkinxo]

Im getting hints of pretentious with a note of narcissism

[@XPrincess30]

Sign in best comment ever

[@enlightenedgroyper2956]

maybe a touch of the big gay?

[@vt-yp7yq]

Sign in + LOL

[@Adaminsky]

Nebulynx Pleb definitely more than a touch.

[@sofiasanchez9532]

Sign in what do u mean?

[@johndinhvo]

The thing I am being a bit skeptical about the video is that BuzzFeed did not say anything about the 'coffee expert' - no background, nothing about his experience with coffee. Like the Pizza Expert video or Sushi Expert, we know about their experience or their expertise. You can't just invite anyone drinking a lot of coffee and then introduce him as 'coffee expert'

[@jessii967]

Maybe if he was blindfolded, he'd say something different about Starbucks.

[@ccgsales]

Can anyone find a CV on this 'expert'? Try searching for him on the internet. I can't find anything except a facebook page and a twit feed. Oh, and a bunch of links back to THIS video. WHAT makes him an expert besides a descriptive vocabulary and an opinion? Seriously, I am curious what his credentials are, that makes him an 'expert' on coffee.

[@101kagaminemari]

Well usually food critics have trained palettes. Their palettes are trained to taste what we usually can't. Just like wine experts. Take in mind that he is drinking straight up coffee. No sugar or cream added.

[@ccgsales]

101kagaminemari Do you know what a CV is? Curriculum Vitae? I was asking what makes him a trained coffee critic? For all the proof I found on him... *I* could qualify as a trained coffee critic. Do YOU know what his qualifications are to critique coffee besides "a descriptive vocabulary and an opinion"? I have both those qualifications. Maybe I should become a critic as well?

[@101kagaminemari]

ccgsales Obviously you're not going to find everything about everyone on the internet. Its not like you can type his name an then suddenly everything about him will appear. "A descriptive vocabulary and an opinion" aren't the only qualifications. You have to have an amazing palette and sense of smell to be a critic. You could become a critic as well, but you have to go through training.

[@ccgsales]

101kagaminemari Ahh... so no actual 'proof' that this guy is actually qualified to critique anyone's coffee? Thought so...

[@101kagaminemari]

ccgsales Either way the coffee mention is pretty crappy until disguised with a shit ton of diabetes.

[@SerratedHatred]

So what exactly makes him a coffee expert? Did he go to coffee school and obtain a Masters Degree in coffee tasting? or is it just simply that you needed another video so you found an actor who can impersonate someone who knows what they are talking about?

[@EntelSidious_gamzeylmz]

I mean I dont know all coffee experts in the world (never heard his name or saw him in an expo, he isnt followed by anyone I follow🤔, trust me there arent that many people in the speciality coffee industry) but even other than that there is literally no proof that this guy is an expert

[@therealdio6562]

I love his jolly yet cold and confident assessment of a coffee brand....he should teach coffee 101.

[@InderNshit]

BuzzFeed, by what standards is this a coffee expert? What are his qualifications?

[@Judita00]

This guy must be a pain in the ** when inviting over for a coffee hahaha

[@wccrispy]

That's why you ask him which coffees to try first ;)

[@cleoz9274]

Judith Pol I think he bring his own blend every time, and takes over the coffee machine.

[@adamaris1760]

Judith Pol well to be fair he was being asked to critique it.

[@yms4355]

Judith Pol Is a dentist friend pain in the ** when you're brushing teeth? Nope. It's called ''Doing your job''...

[@bababooeybababooey]

This guy's only job is to come up with adjectives.

[@theblackdaria_]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@SidBidDid]

THIS IS THE GREATEST COMMENT

[@hoh9291]

SidBidDid AGREEEEEEEEED OMG!!!

[@IreneBento33]

Hahahaha, that's great!

[@YouCanCallMeReTro]

I was sitting here with my Dunkin Donuts coffee in one hand and my pitchfork in the other, glad this snob is truly a man of good taste

[@markdm4805]

Omg I was the same way. I was like whoa pal don't knock the Dunkin donuts coffee. I got hooked on it when I lived in the Midwest and when they finally came to California I drove an hour to get a cup.

[@joeyouyang]

where the hell do you get coffee taste training

[@jltorres6320]

It makes me happy that he hates Starbucks as much as I do.

[@maddhatter6938]

Starbucks is milk with a tiny hint of coffee, when I went to America and got a coffee, I thought they gave me just warm milk. I'm glad we don't have Starbucks in Australia.

[@blueskyzfreedom]

Think again, there are.

[@nil3552]

I hate starbucks because I hate the taste. Not because I want to be 'different' or a 'special snowflake.' Period.

[@mikey2kus]

Lois Angelu Saro i agree with you. They burn the beans in the roasting processs. The black coffee tastes burnt with a charcoal aftertaste. Most "starbucks" fans only drink the sweet drinks- no actual merit

[@rubenthescarypurplebunny581]

Yeah starbucks is gay

[@lolk1154]

Who knew McDonald's had better coffee than Starbucks...

[@TheCrashon]

***** good for you

[@severedghost]

***** so is uncle ruckus , but dont tell him.

[@CuteButEvil806]

Well I personally like McDonalds coffee and it is way more affordable the starbucks

[@aR0ttenBANANA]

Well starbucks is pretty horendous. The only reason theyre still in buisness is suburban white 16 year old females.

[@gamerboy4500]

TheN0X racist

[@holo6883]

"I haven't violated my tounge like that in a while" --> 2/5 Dude what? Isn't that way too high?

[@bearcat648]

He is using a rating for cheap coffees.

[@Krankedupcoffeefan]

Why is Matt Damon doing coffee reviews?

[@damonstahl7757]

kek

[@sharonkoehler2447]

That's not Matt Damon

[@damonstahl7757]

+Sharon Koehler yes, we know, that's why it's funny....sigh

[@donniedouglas6837]

looks more like jesse plemons... who looks a lot like matt damon... so yeah u right but u could be right...er.

[@DCWERmax]

looks more like Meth Damon

[@SoPhiESmile17]

omg he is so annoying. he doesn't know anything about coffee!

[@severedghost]

I REALLY hate Starbucks coffee. They all taste the fucking same.

[@EvolMuzik4ever]

Taste like burnt water to me.

[@Mfk0o]

7-11 has the best coffee

[@jakolantrn33]

EvolMuzik4ever "Taste like burnt water to me." - EvolMuzik4ever

[@denny9639]

Ever tried the dark roast?

[@Sud0wood0]

Bulldoze a starbucks with a piece of corporate art.

[@spongebob4748]

who else is sipping Folgers rn

[@laxpors]

Side of the road cantaloupe? WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

[@slurpx524]

If you live out in the country, it's cantaloupe that's fresh from the fields and is sold off of a truck.

[@laxpors]

Mark Nicholson oh. OK, but I've never tasted cantaloupe in my coffee!

[@slurpx524]

***** nor have I, I'm assuming this man is insane.

[@RambunctiousVA]

camila reed I have a feeling this is an undercover LGBT campaign

[@spidaminida]

Gamey?

[@GettingColorful]

Whatever man. All the times I've gotten Starbucks it was great XD

[@wika1984]

regular coffee, right? Regular coffee tastes worse than 7-11 coffee. I'm very experience with cheap coffees since I work morning shifts and go anywhere for coffee. I agree with most of what he says too. D&D coffee is one of the best coffees I've ever had. If you want a real cup of coffee go to a real coffee shop or try different brands at super markets. Even your local grocery stores that serve hot coffee tastes better than McDonalds coffees (except safeway).

[@GettingColorful]

wika1984 Nah, I'm not a huge fan of regular coffee, I'm more into flavored coffee. White Chocolate Mocha Latte? Seventh heaven.

[@wika1984]

OrangePoison oh, then starbucks is up your alley. If you decide to try something new, try an coffee shop that isn't a chain. You'll taste a difference in quality. Just don't order something like you would from Starbucks. They get mad.

[@clutch1141]

The reason you like starbucks is because when you pay five dollars for a cup of coffee you have already decided it is good before you even drink it and never stop to actually taste it.

[@ryanarcadia9652]

Well. people who dont drink a lot of coffee or drink nothing but cheap coffee and white girls tend to like starbucks. if youre like me and prefer good coffee then you agree with the expert in the video that starbucks is... not the best coffee

[@Schmexxy]

This guy seems like the type of person to criticise you on everything you do.

[@krisphung88]

yup, because he's giving his opinion on coffee , you can tell a lot about him am i right?

[@Duck0fDoom]

You do realize he's a critic, do you not?

[@JanoyCresva]

I actually thought the opposite. He seems like a nice dude...thats a critic for a living.

[@PeachReaver]

Sounds like a personal issue.

[@megandarc8611]

He seems to be only criticizing the coffee....Hmmmm...and I wonder why. It most definitely couldn't be because he's a coffee expert, no that obviously isn't it. Or maybe because he was brought onto the video as a critic and a critic criticizes things of his expertise? Meh, who knows, right?

[@moseskarunia]

McD coffee: Him: like tar and asphalt Me: **thinking** so it's bad huh? Him: 3.5 star Me: You what? :0

[@aukaming2011]

Mc Donald probably gave him a pack of notes to rise the ratings

[@Dan_Dan_Ruu]

Flavor aside, Starbucks is anything but cheap.

[@FantasyJimenez123]

True that.

[@asdf30111]

you clearly never had to pay 20$ for one. I know a place where one is 55$ but does have costly things blended in

[@Jack.Strait]

it only costs like 5 cents for them to make

[@woogie87]

Tarbucks is disgusting. You did something wrong with your tongue and can no longer taste the trutuh of how awful that coffee tastes

[@timothyholley2546]

I think when they say "cheap coffee" they mean that the coffee is actually cheap. Not that it's cheap to buy, but it's just cheaply made.

[@wranglerstar]

Loved this, so funny,

[@PC42069]

What are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you here.

[@capybara6997]

Wranglerstar lmao ikr!!

[@dabbingemoji1323]

Hello

[@ChrisM-bn5vr]

Funny how McDonalds gets 3.5 stars and Starbucks gets 1.

[@gabdemiranda]

Chris Merrick Starbucks sucks... It's almost not coffee

[@ChrisM-bn5vr]

Gabriel Castro Yeah I know, all the Starbucks in Australia got shut down cause no one liked it.

[@kylewhitehead5975]

Chris Merrick Australia has far higher standards than us British then. Starbucks is spreading like the plague here.

[@SchwarzeWitwe2]

kyle whitehead We do. I have a Kiwi friend who lives in the London area, she said to only go to a certain few coffee shops when I visited last year. Yeah, you guys really don't know your coffee.

[@alexthommo9667]

Chris Merrick McDonalds in Canada has great coffee.

[@connorjibben3277]

Starbucks is the opposite of cheap... Dunkin for life!!!!!😂🙌

[@Morgan-yw7nu]

For real. Also my favorite drink is the dunkaccino

[@ramenai]

Starbucks? Cheap? You gotta be kidding.

[@FangirlnoE]

Cheap as in by in the money terms or cheap by the little effort it was made?

[@ramenai]

Money Terms.

[@aleessacelestin]

Your Username gives me an Ironic Feeling inside...

[@lonewolf604]

You do realize that starbucks plain coffee is relatively inexpensive right? Its all the fancy frap drinks that are expensive.

[@NorthEastRegional]

lonewolf604 Yep, and better valued than half-cup Dunkin Donuts who want you to pay more for coffee that does not fill to the top and expect a somewhat lactose intolerant person to dump more milk into my cup of coffee. What a joke, go Starbucks!

[@AndrewProTV]

Just witnessed a white girl take a selfie with her coffee in Starbucks. I always heard the legends but never thought I'd see it in the wild.

[@paratrooper10]

Man, makes me wonder what expensive coffee taste like

[@wika1984]

he's the kind that critiques coffee brands sold at stores. Coffee experts like him have hyper sensitive taste buds that take years to master. Critiquing coffee already made to serve is something different from buying at your local grocery store.

[@AiVeeeee]

like weasel poop; it's almost $600 a pound

[@wika1984]

Aimee Gem Veloso it's a type of animal that picks the best ripest beans and poops it out. We then take those beans and make coffee out of it. It's apparently the best coffee know to mankind, but I haven't tried a cup, so I can't say it is.

[@Obiwancolenobi]

And to those who say "ew" to Kopi Luwak....remember, you eat eggs and milk: chicken's period and cow lactation.

[@CNcyanide18]

There's one here in the Philippines which is brewed from animal excrement. I heard its fairly pricey and it tastes good especially brewed and served fresh, never actually tasted one though. Not that I'd want to, though.

[@joshstern5047]

To this day I am still wondering, wtf does “side of the road cantaloupe” mean😂😂😂😂

[@anon420anon]

I really would have liked to see him review the coffee's without knowing where it came from ahead of time.

[@CaputMensae]

+Anon Ymous He didn't

[@anon420anon]

GigaByter R You sure? Cause right before he tries the Starbucks he says something like he is insinuating he knows what he is trying. @ 1:40

[@CaputMensae]

Anon Ymous I think he was just making a statement after trying the previous coffee 'that he's not excited' because it's cheap coffee. Then the scene starts off with him tasting the starbucks.

[@anon420anon]

GigaByter R For what it's worth, I don't think so. I think they told him what he was trying.

[@CaputMensae]

Anon Ymous Possible

[@koolyman]

I have no idea what he was saying. All these new weird adjectives...

[@jonasnathanael1016]

***** Wait what? xD

[@Stranglingfury]

lolol I know! His descriptions were hilarious. My ratings consists of: No. I don't like it. Eh its okay. Or Yeah its good.

[@koolyman]

***** I would say his take on coffee is very "fruity" :P

[@dparsons343]

Murican vocabulary :P

[@philipgodsworth4764]

This is essentially a cigar expert reviewing cigarettes. People buy them for the drug, not the taste, hence why most dump sugar and cream in that black cocaine water.

[@pursuitsoflife.6119]

Philip Godsworth I don't wanna drink coffee anymore, now that you said it's black cocaine water...

[@RaeMoirai]

He may be a coffee expert but he also thinks 3.5 is half of 5.

[@HubaTheHut]

He gave it 3.5/5 and then commented that it was 'halfway tolerable'. So from where do you conclude that he thinks half of 5 is 3.5?

[@RaeMoirai]

Halfway tolerable is still saying 3.5 is half of 5 or am I missing the point? Because he does mention the word "half" right? And does 3.5 = half of 5? It does not, unless you're really bad at maths obviously, half of 5 is 2.5. No matter how you word it he still mentions the word half which means he believes half of 5 is 3.5. So no matter what my comment makes total sense. It doesn't matter if it's tolerable, related to how much it costs, how good it tastes, etc. He still says it's "half"way tolerable which implies he thinks 3.5 = half of 5. Does that make any sense now? Jesus Christ, they told me about people on KZbin being dumb but I never thought people would take it so seriously. -_- By the way, it's quite obviously a taste test as proven by the fact he mentions the taste of each coffee and then rates it of that. Tolerable - Meaning essentially how good does the coffee taste. So yeah, in conclusion, after taking in all the evidence it is quite clear to me and 18 other people that he thinks 3.5 is half of 5 and if that doesn't make total sense to you, then I give up.

[@asw1g]

Aaron Sullivan Lay that ego to rest bud. He rated it 3.5/5. He said it was halfway tolerable. You assume 0 is intolerable and 5 is tolerable. That is not true whatsoever. It is mentioned nowhere. It is 3.5/5 but as far as tolerance goes, he finds it only halfway tolerable. It really is not difficult to understand at all. Before you insult others because of your failure to accept your own incompetence, think things through. Good life lesson.

[@RaeMoirai]

Sure, sure. You keep believing that. But it's a taste test and believe it or not tolerable is one of the many word we would use in a taste test. Tolerable in this instance obviously means how he found the coffee and he found it half tolerable which means he thinks 3.5 is half of 5. Honestly, I am going mental or something. Every time I write something that is actual fact, people dismiss it for some self belief it means something else. Okay let me just put this in simple English. He is doing a taste test which means 0-1 would be intolerable or a word of that description and 4-5 would be tolerable or again something to that description. Just because it wasn't mentioned doesn't mean it's not true. Do you understand now?

[@asw1g]

Aaron Sullivan A taste test takes into account the taste as as a whole. 0 is not intolerable. That's just a part of it. Forget it. This is pointless. You're one of those guys who can't be wrong. Peace.

[@vazzmatazz]

Why do all of these analogies make sense to me? Why do they not make sense to so many other people?

[@theunforbiddenfruit2527]

It very much does make sense...

[@mvpmikey]

Its called synesthesia. This people had a different sense of perception in addition to your basic senses so they judge things more accurately. Majority of the population had synesthesia but mental blocks are created that suppresses the ability because of social acceptance and its relationship with being uneducated regarding the ability. ...believe it or not, people who doesn't have synesthesia are actually the rare ones. Science don't talk much about people who doesn't have it since their considered lower species or older forms of human, and such mentality can trigger bad response from society.

[@psychobabble81]

mvpmickey1 You should revisit your definition of synesthesia. I don't believe you understand what it is. Associations to a sensation are not indicators to synesthesia.

[@PistolLucky]

mvpmickey1 People who don't have synesthesia are considered a lower species!? You had better get your facts correct and your little don't/doesn't grammar mistake corrected before you go off and calling others inferior. Literally EVERYTHING you said is utter bullshit. Being uneducated of the ability of synesthesia will cause a "mental block" which prevents this from happening? What am I reading? If being ignorant about this ability causes that, then how did it first came to be? With you logic if no one is aware of it then it would never exist. And I highly doubt social acceptence is going to prevent the human brain from doing something it naturally does.

[@camilabeltran8422]

hipsters, perhaps? I mean, the dude gave 1 star to starbucks, they must be burning their wayfarers.

[@tracerodriguez1275]

He looks like a mixture of Benedict Cumberbatch and Patrick Stump

[@beefystew3062]

This guy’s explanation makes no sense

[@TheRenerify]

who grows up and says they want to be a coffee expert.

[@santigun]

He probably earns more than we two together...

[@ieatcarrotstew1234]

santi lo Make that we three.

[@CuteButEvil806]

I would I love coffee I would so want his job

[@ThatLittleKitten]

I would, but I'm allergic.

[@PickleJuice604]

Meeeee!!! I loveee coffeeeeee

[@HollieForrest]

Finally someone who thinks Starbucks sucks!!! :)

[@user-vk9kx5nh3j]

HollieEatsLipstick Tastes like fucking battery acid. Or should I say notes of lead dioxide reacting with sulfuric acid, with hints of basic.

[@smellslikeAIC]

HollieEatsLipstick im glad im not the only one, i like their "coffee drinks" though lol

[@Soten_Bori]

The only things I like from Starbucks are the ladyfingers and the green tea frap

[@butyoursobeautiful]

***** exactly, I always thought starbuck is for people who hate coffee, like me lol

[@AlanLedesma349-59untjnrtbjio]

I've always preferred Peet's over starbucks, way more fresh, stronger, and just plain better. It's definetly worth the longer drive! (Depends on your location, my Peet's Coffee is about 2 miles from me)

[@DailyDoseGaming]

Where the the hell do you taste melon and grape jolly rancher from coffee? Was he even drinking coffee? Can you tell Im angry he didn't like Starbucks? Lol

[@juewthube1278]

its because starbucks is shit, but don't feel bad. this guy lied about about having his tongue violated in a long time. his boyfriend violated the shit out of his tongue earlier that morning.

[@witstang]

Juew Thube Although totally uncalled for, still absolutely hilarious. lol

[@TheBlackRazgriz]

Omg omg omg I fucking fell on the floor after hearing that I haven't laughed like that all week idk why it was so funny just classic shit mate 😂😂😭👍

[@Adam9496]

Juew Thube omg made my life

[@horror0lover]

kid, he's tasting really coffee.. not the sugar-coated cream-filled crap people drink...

[@basteala525]

The biggest problem with a lot of cheap coffees is that the employees let them sit way past their secondary shelf life--that is, how long they're fresh after preparation. Coffee that sits too long starts to break down, and the oils separate a little, resulting in a somewhat greasy, bitter taste. Think it's coincidence that you've rarely had a bad cold brew? The intended secondary shelf life is much longer.

[@davidjames666]

He went to school to memorize a bunch of word combinations to say after sampling something.

[@MangoTurtlenova]

David James you can say that about any profession really

[@geraldvincentt]

He can't sleep for 2 days after that.

[@Majlc5]

That's only the sips that were on camera they had to do a couple takes...

[@dwrigh18]

B5D That's what I'm talkin bout

[@JaikeJones]

Wooooow, what lile, 5 cups? Scary, considering the ammount of sugar and caffeine I consume every, I can sleep fine, infact, it makes me sleep better.

[@chelseaokoro511]

Haha he butchered Starbucks

[@KRISMENG]

exactly

[@channeldanso]

I find myself here every once in a while idk why (the wine review one too)

[@ChaozDealer]

The way he talked about the mcdonalds coffe made me think it was horrible but he gave it a decent rating 😂

[@misterdrummings]

Doesn't McDonald's use Newman's Own?

[@WilliamMurphy-wp79]

Salad Dressing yes, coffee not so much. They have their own specialty blend that's actually pretty highly regarded as far as cheap coffees go. They usually perform well in blind taste tests with competitors

[@kevinzhong5496]

McDonald's coffee is actually pretty good

[@jelly4129]

ChaozDealer same wtf? 😂

[@toffeepupu]

He’s reviewing it based on comparison to other coffees in the group. If he uses his standard these would’ve all been 0 looool

[@arizorki]

how did dunken donuts get 4 and starbucks 1? not a big sb fan but jesus dunken donut is disgusting.... it taste like water mixed with tears of children.

[@champybh]

As someone who frequently drinks Dunkin' Donuts coffee your description is strangely accurate, maybe you should be the one in the video!

[@gunandrunful]

That's an opinion

[@fernandojsmam]

"tears of children" hahahahahahahaha

[@No1important88]

But the the tears are so sweet.

[@TheSerun13]

the starbucks one is the cheapest one with nothing blended into it

[@zanacos1]

"Tastes like tar, and a hit of grease and asphalt, 4/5 stars!" It might be time for a real job haha

[@christophevaraklis1715]

thank you so much for this

[@yellowbelly7863]

Ever heard of a joke? Ya know, like a thing you might put in a video used as entertainment?

[@christophevaraklis1715]

Yellow Belly ever heard of a life? maybe you should get one

[@yellowbelly7863]

Christophe Varaklis ohhh that's original!!! Lmao

[@Senzunia]

Yes, because an expert would use jokes as a reason for a rating. It's not like 4/5 was a good score anyways amirite

[@thegamingpigeon3216]

For the price, McDonalds coffee actually slaps

[@nickmiller323]

Its extremely weird how people are getting so triggered over him hating on Starbucks. Its almost as if these people in the comments know the Starbucks CEO personally. And any bad reviews on his coffee would send him to tank the company. I just don't get it.

[@jltorres6320]

They're angry because it makes it harder to justify the obscene amounts of money they waste on mediocre coffee.

[@wtf-oq6ng]

tbh I don't really like coffee

[@Шоуодногожурналиста]

It's because Strabucks is realy expensive and it's a bad coffee. Most of americans hate the taste of coffee itself, they drink the artificually flavoured brew with creamer with the flavour and loads of sugar. And they do it on the go too. Real coffee sometimes is that strong that gulping it on the go will make you coffee drunk or even faint.

[@lancelindlelee7256]

I go there to meet with people, not to drink coffee

[@codename9824]

Oleg Krestovcev that's gasoline not coffee haha.

[@MoonAirN]

Starbucks is cheap? Don't make me laugh

[@Ben-et8wh]

it's been ranked behind mcdonalds several years, it's not high end coffee, it's cheap in the sense of they just use cheap beans and process, and its no more expensive than mcdonalds for a cup either, so what do you mean?

[@indyirwin2123]

Their specialty drinks made with espresso are more expensive. The coffee itself isn't that expensive

[@gelochan21]

it's cheap for a fact that Hoes like it so much and post it on facebook, instagram with a hashtag #Coffee on their status..

[@Ben-et8wh]

MoonAir Nearaspman come on man, explain yourself, what makes you think this isnt cheap? you should walk into one and you'll see how cheap it is, don't let the advertisment own you into thinking its expensive. see for yourself

[@PandoraBear357]

The actual coffee isn't great. Hence why most people order drinks with a lot of milk and sugar and syrups.

[@haley7138]

This guy was asked to judge coffee and you guys are calling him a snob? Again he was asked. Asked to hive HIS opinion. So he did. Calm down.

[@guppy8073]

I'm pleased with how well DD did, that shop was my childhood donuts and coffee go-to

[@potatohead1423]

Their doughnuts (spell it right, dammit!) have always sucked because of inferior ingredients used. Now they are sucky AND stale because they come from centralized bakeries instead of being made fresh in-store. My local supermarket makes doughnuts right in the store kitchen. Fresh, yummy, bigger than DD's, and 30 cents per doughnut CHEAPER.

[@iandhunt80]

Well. Guppy did say WAS.

[@RizzyKhaos]

Id love to get paid to make up silly analogies about trivial stuff. Where do I sign up

[@a916LEX]

Just start assigning titles to yourself like a "pizza expert" "pancake expert" and you are half way there.

[@RizzyKhaos]

Alexis M good advice!

[@ATeaDubya]

There's this new thing called the Internet. You can do anything you want & hope it takes off. The more you know..