Child Custody Court Hearings - Things to consider when you don't have a lawyer

There are many reasons one may decide to represent themselves in court (legally referred to as “in pro per”). For some, it’s because they can’t afford to hire a lawyer. For others, it’s because they want to have complete control over their case. For others, it’s because they have legal experience/knowledge and they think representing themselves is the best option. No matter the reason, when you are in pro per, there are many things you MUST understand. In this video, I share a few things you should consider when preparing to represent yourself in court.

[@pr0ph3tz]

It's crazy you've made the comparison of being your own mechanic, dentist which i have done both successfully on my own.

[@pocahontas4583]

Right a lot of people do their own mechanic work.

[@MichaelBrown-lw5zh]

I've gone through 3 different attorneys in front of the San Francisco family court cartel. Family court is not practicing law, and the judges aren't acting in the capasity of a judge. They're clerks, and they're not respecting our God given rights, and rhe attorneys aren't much better. they never mentioned my rights, so now it's been 5 years no due process, 1 1/2 years of "paid supervised visits with a history of only being a good father and provider. When I finally had enough, and asked the court to demonstrate jurisdiction the fake judge left the bench and the entire 5 years I was unknowingly in front of clerks pretending to be judges. I will be holding all parties liable

[@lowkeyscustomcars]

I have custody of my daughter, shes now 10 ive been drug threw 2 custody battles, an 7 years of bs , ive fired 4 attorneys, i will not pay for incompetent behavior, a lawyer who holds transcripts yet allows the other side to lie , or withholding evidence, or shows up to court with nothing, lawyers only care about dragging things put to make more $ , an do not care about what abuse or other horrible things the child may be going threw , often unless ur rich an want to waste 7 years an $300k watching an pos get away with horrible crimes against a child then do it urself , no 1 knows ur case like U , no one will fight for ur child like U , yes this is hard yes the courts want u to have a lawyer so the game keeps getting played , its sad when the abuse is so bad these things could b handled in 1 day in court , yet the court will allow years of abuse , so everyone wins but the child !

[@shannanbrennan612]

Make a video about representing yourself when fighting against child protection!! Even when you have been doing everything on your power to get them home!!!!!

[@gabbysambienceofrivers4813]

And keep them home!

[@LadyBoBannon]

I have a greater respect for lawyers because of the sheer amount of reading required of case law, court rules, rules of evidence, rules of civil procedure, etc. Then there's all the drafting of documents, proper citation of law and reference to statutes, and organizing of said information. I've done what you said and had consultations. It does help. Paying upwards of 2o0 to 300 an hour is worth it if it keeps you from paying a high price later. I have to go up against an attorney and it's intimidating but I can't afford to not take this seriously. My years of researching and writing in college is being put to use now 😂

[@ryanm.5063]

Hey Melissa, I've had lawyers in the past and it seemed as if I had to battle my own cases cause it just didn't seem they were willing to battle, just set and took what ever as I then stood up for myself respectfully. Now I have both cases going at the same time, 1st in Covington, Ky and the 2nd in Lawrenceburg, IN and I've been doing things myself due to not being able to provide the $1500-$2000 upfront cost. Something I did learn was that a patent can NOT use "I'm taking you to court on the regular" as it was considered "court harassment" if I remember correctly. But, I could use any and all knowledge dealing with family courts on my own. I've thought about possibly getting a public defender and or a volunteer lawyer but I'm not sure on that......? I do know things would be better if I had help for sure cause my ex's are trying to totally dig my grave for me. I am due to pay almost a $1000 a month as of now like $5-$10 bucks short of that and this has been for some years now but, once I lost my job its worse then ever as it never changes that its the only thing they are worried about is child support as I have the documentation to prove its all they ask/talk about when I don't see anything showing what that support is being used on.......can I request receipts or some type of documentation monthly on what my child support is going to? Also, my oldest sons mom NEVER respects my parenting input nor cares and she just a few weeks ago sent my son off to a challenge academy and signed some paper so my son told me that states I can't go get him or anything sue does things like this with out talking to me yet wants my money.......she never pays for lawyers cause she knows them all in the area idk sry I'm kinda of venting but I'm totally getting screwed here with NO help due to not being able to pay the fees due to paying almost a $1000 a month plus take care of my bills and my kids "2" that lives with me one from my wife and I and my step daughter which is mine due to adopting her but all it seems they care about is receiving a pay check with NO co-parenting nor letting me have a lick of anything with my kids yet they wonder why my kids want to live with me. I have my oldest son "16" with an ex and my youngest daughter "8" with my other ex and my wife and I have a son together "4" plus my oldest daughter I adopted that is "9" plus my bills and to take care of my family yet they thing its ok paying $1000 a month when they make more then me. I have no criminal record or anything I'm a good guy being drug through the mud with a careless from them long as they get their $450 and $384 a month. SMH its a shame......I'm trying to battle the best I can with hopes God will help me along. Sorry to over due your comment section. Lol have a blessed day!

[@timothystarks5053]

Brother, do it yourself because lawyers first duty is to the court, not its client and that's why u never receive remedy...Custody should be 50 50 for both Father and Mother, however it's more beneficial for them to keep you and her arguing and milking you at the same time....Look this up UIFSA and UCCJEA for your State in the family law section... It's racketeering...

[@pocahontas4583]

1:20 that’s interesting because I just saw a video that said it’s more common for people to represent themselves in family court than to hire a lawyer.

[@MariAlistineMoss]

As a defendant all you need to do is show that one thing the opposition said is wrong with evidence. If compelling enough, you win.

[@MariAlistineMoss]

All facts. Research is everything, but you have to pace yourself in a tricky legal battle that is meant to dismantle your life and your childrens. You also have to be cognizant that you have to be prepared move in emergency if need be for the children who are already in survival mode and trying to deal with the unnormal situation and minimize their own trauma.

[@BarbieMom]

Please support me and my journey on this fight.

[@hbsoc200]

All I can say if you're a man and don't have a lawyer, you're screwed. In court everything is a business, and you will need a lawyer, or the judge is going to treat you like shit and loose your case. I once showed up in court representing myself, the Judge didn't even let me use my witnesses and lost my case.

[@successizthebestrevenge]

Finally someone keeping it real. That settles it I’m hiring a lawyer

[@ashleywalker9908]

I want to ask a question how do I get custody of my son away from his grandmother she's a abusive and neglective to my son

[@joshuaclough4641]

Great video!! I was all alone in 2011. I did everything you said through ridiculous amounts of research. I did very well but ultimately lost custody. Sometimes you just have to face the reality, and for me it was Mom v. dad. And I am dad. An inherent hump to cross.

[@willchacon5888]

A Person that represents himself is a fool for a cliemt.. A Person that hires a an Attorney is a broke fool for a Client... Which one...mmmm?

[@ernestonavajr.6814]

Dude you are so right. I have spent thousands and thousands and still don't have my weekend custody rights.

[@justinmcclain80]

Ernesto Nava Jr. same bro!!!!

[@justinmcclain80]

Ernesto Nava Jr. it’s some bullshit for sure

[@Galena432]

I have a question I am hoping someone can answer for me. My sister is about to go into b/c her daughter's father filed for joint custody AND child support payments from her. The insane thing is that he lied on the petition and it is a sworn signed document. Their daughter has lived with my sister full time since birth and the father has been very inconsistent with his involvement. On the petition he claims that their daughter lives with him full time. My sister works 3 jobs and goes to school.. she really doesn't have extra money for lawyer but she is very worried he might get away with his lies. How can we prove he is lying? Does she really need a lawyer for this? It sounds like if she can prove he is lying it will get dismissed.. :/

[@crimsonjohnson7740]

thank you so much for all of the advice. I have been representing myself for the last two year, i have two children, age 4 and soon to be 3 years old my parents stole my children from me . this last court hearing we got, i acted a lot more serious and got what i asked for, the judge asked for a hair follicle drug test and i happily passed everything im going on 31 months clean will def. be watching the rest of your videos, i have one question I was granted supervised visitation but its where my parents cant see us while im seeing the children, how do i go about asking for joint physical custody? Im in college to become a lawyer.

[@kirstenchammas7680]

I have Temp Protect Order against me for my 13 y.o.- We've done 12 supervised visits over 4 months; the Supervisor, from day 1 says we have no need for his services; waste of money; has more important clients that really need supervision ...That said, a judge granted this TPO in ExParte hearing I didn't attend (and lost). I hired a "Limited Scope" attorney to show up - but he wont respond to me to develop a Plan for my upcoming case. What is primary focus? (motion to dismiss? refute abuse charges? get supervisor to testify? have my 13 y.o. make legal statement to drop the TPO?)

[@lesslygutierrez8964]

Would you be able to guide me through my child custody case.

[@jayfries2580]

You don’t need a lawyer in custody court. There aren’t many laws in place for custody. There are ground rules for the judge’s ruling, but essentially it’ll be that judge’s OPINION on who is best.

[@shantyrequarterman3542]

It doesn't work that way. There are some lawyers that are just as deceitful as the person they are representing in court. (GUN FOR HIRE). My case was lost due to the lies that were told (Another case of defamation) and not having an attorney present. The courts gave me three days to prepare which was not right at all. They pulled a fast one on me and I lost my child who was immediately moved. Never was served a motion for removal until the day of court. Now since I retain an attorney, the father has temporary custody. That was some dirty BS. The GAL report was not dated, many information given was not spoke about, and information was switched around. She tore me up while he looked like the better parent with a history of police reports dealing with others.

[@tiffanyclarke91]

Im getting ready to go to court to get custody of my son what do i need to know and do. I'm going in this without a lawyer and the case is in virginia and i live in Iowa. Can you please help me.

[@willchacon5888]

Girl i love that blue shirt...i am a Dad and i love your Channel..Yeahh

[@tianyase]

no room for doubt lady

[@kkdoc7864]

In spite of my having at least double the postgraduate education you have, I still will not say to you than I am an expert on everything. With respect, how many hours did you spend on only child custody? Not that much, I’m sure. I think if you are committed to learning something, and you are good at school stuff, you should be just as competent, since specialization only occurs after graduation. The main drawback for the lay person (and its a big one), is not knowing how to behave in court. With no on-the-job experience, the average joe has a huge disadvantage. You might hear a bit of frustration in my comments, and that is because it’s a crime to have to pay so much money just to get justice! I wish it wasn’t that way.

[@sandrapalomares4678]

Question- my friend is a resident of Mexico her ex partner( never married) has their 2 daughters didn't return them from a verbal agreement to be with him for 2 weeks. He lives here in California and is also from Mexico and living here undocumented. He has his own business and earns well. My friend says the daughters were born here in California. All she's asking is visitations and be in communicacion with her daughters. He has made barely any contact with the mom. How can this matter be handed. Do I need to get an International Attorney? She is willing to give me a Power of Attorney to act as her behalf. Any information will be greatly appreciated

[@caringlovetv6998]

Hi, So true. Please represent me for R.F.O. on 09/03/2020 @ 1:30pm? I appreciate in advance. Thanks.

[@nancygale73]

How do you file papers to see a judge in Michigan?

[@RCast5389]

Im going through a custody battle with my x wife again and she has been reporting old documents stating that i have violated a restraining order that has my daughter whom is 5. Since my divorce went through surpeme court (staten island new york) it states that i am still allowed to be around my daughter. Apparently she has filed another restraining order and that i will be served with papers and have to go to court in jersey since that is where they reside. I have the divorce papers, every single restraining order that was filed, & i cant afford a lawyer. What would be the next move for me on being able to see my child and having her stop this. Please advice.

[@angiee284]

I really really need help I’m 22 and a new mom I have a baby boy on the way and my ex bf has been threatening me non stop throughout my entire pregnancy telling me that he will take away my child from me as soon as he’s born and that I’ll never see him again, he wanted me to get an abortion just because I didn’t want to be with him, at one point in our early relationship he told me if I ever left him he would kidnap my child and leave to Mexico I just want some advice or help on how to go about this

[@KJ-gx7bg]

Same here, but he said he was taking him to Cali…this man was so damn abusive. I ended up getting a restraining order and he’s been violating it ever since and the pd out here won’t enforce it…we are currently going through a custody battle rn , he only has supervised visits, but he has a warrant because he just violated on 12/6 at a visit… but there he is free as a bird while my safety is in jeopardy and custody is up in the air smh

[@coalblooded303]

Learn federal rulings involving constitutional law

[@reneepalmer5040]

Hi, I would like to ask you a question off youtube about custody. When, you adopted your husband at the time child.

[@aminatasoumano]

Hi Merissa, Thank you for all the tips. I will be representing myself in court next week for a custody hearing but do not have witnesses set up. Do i really need them? Or evidences are enough?

[@jayfries2580]

Aminata Soumano if you don’t have proof, you’ll definitely need character witnesses. If you can’t make him look bad/unfit, you have to do a damn good job of making yourself look great. How’d your case turn out?

[@koolliikethat1]

Aminata Soumano how did your case go?

[@coalblooded303]

Learn to file motions

[@jessicagalloway8542]

What do I need to do if my ex has served me an order for habeas corpus for custody

[@ceolavitasessoms4489]

My ex-husband owes me back child support, for our daughter that is eighteen. He has taken me to court for child support and my daughter has live with for some of that time frame. How do I ask the Judge legally for credit toward the order if one is given. 2018

[@jennifersandoval6329]

Can i take witnesses????

[@lamsrojo]

hello, could anyone please help me with this situation I'm in. my ex husband out of the blue took me to court last year to change previous visitation of 10% and he was demanding 60% instead, main reasons were (1)to lower his child support payments and (2)to abbreviate me and it was due to his extreme alcoholic and narcissist behavior. he makes really gokd money and I'm minimum wage so he had a good lawyer and I didn't cuz couldnt afford one. so in court the judge didnt even glance at me cuz I had no representation and I lost and my ex got all his requests approved. it's been a year now and the dust has settled and were decern around each other again. my concern vamr last month cuz my ex asked me if he could use the 3 boys for his tax return filing and has been begging, his even being super nice and giving me extra money and Starbucks gift cards.....its too nice and he is a extremely narcissistic man, so I'm wondering if by me letting him use the boys for tax filing will it put me at risk in any way in the future? Not sure if it's no big deal or if I should be on cautious alert and tell him no. I still have primary physical custody so im not sure if he would attempt taking that from me next? Please anyone who might have some info on possible risks please?

[@glockforce]

Califas There should be a parenting plan in place that states who gets to claim the children on their tax returns. Now if he has them 90% of the time then more than likely he would be able to claim them every year. Your goal is to get 50/50 time-sharing. Even if you are pro se litigant you are still equal under the law. Unless you have a criminal history or have abused the kids that might be out of reach at this time. If that’s the case then you need at least a year of provable documentation that you’ve worked to rehabilitated yourself. You could then file to modify the time-sharing to increase your percentage of time with your children. You may not get 50% but judges like parents that work hard on themselves to be a positive influence on their children. So much that I could write but keep your head up and keep praying 🙏🏻

[@lamsrojo]

Shane Mears thank you so much for your comment. I truly appreciate your info and will take it into account. bless you

[@rastavaper5388]

90% of the time its because someone cant offered it.

[@Ocpainters]

Merrissa, would you be able to DM me for legal advice, thank you.

[@bryon5284]

Its true that the court will dismiss your child support case because of lack if jurisdiction. I feel that I am being extorted by her a d the court system

[@methoticaarts1787]

Hi I have Mediation coming up... my daughter is 14 and doesnt want to go to her dads. we have a "shared parenting plan" in place set up. years ago. We never really followed it but now her dad wants to follow it after years of not doing so. in Florida it's not automatic that my kid can make a choice. it's considered but not automatic... will they make me pay for a guardian en liet? I heard its expensive and I cannot even afford an attorney hence why I am representing myself

[@marcoanadon9531]

That's a gorgeous lady wow

[@perry-v6]

Get to the point, too much talking.

[@venkateshsubburaman2835]

I feel, law should be changed, full custody of son should go to Father and daughter to mother. I know some may don't agree with this segregation on basis of gender. But the reason why I am bringing this point is. There is big money game with current law, big money transfer from men to woman in the name of child support. To avoid this, law should be changed so that Father's will have sons and mother will have daughters and whoever having custody will bare the children expenses. If both the parties agrees to have custody vice-vera mutually, then that's their choice. But if both parents, struggle to get custody of their kids and don't agree with each other. Then the basic rule should apply, sons will be in fathers custody and daughters for mother. This will give fair custody for father, else the laws are going to favour only women. Basically sons need more attention from Father, a male role model. And also the woman will be forced to give the man fair access/visiting rights to his daughter because in turn she gets access to her son else the man will reciprocate to the woman in same way.

[@wyattdeville898]

IF U CANT AFFORD AN ATTORNEY,HOW CAN U RAISE A CHILD

[@derikhunter4917]

WYATT DEVILLE my question to you is what not being able to afford a attorney has to do with being able to raise an afford a child. Please explain. Because you do know everybody is not rich correct. You also should know that most attorneys ask for a up front fee just to take your case upwards of 5k. This is not including the monthly fee. Now explain to me an the majority of the American people that are hard workers that work day to day an pay bills an also take care of their kids how are you suppose to afford a 5k upfront fee an plus the monthly fee all the while taking care of your family off a work check. The two don't have nothing to do with each other.

[@candylady618]

WYATT DEVILLE A lot of ppl can't afford lawyers. Even Rich ppl. They be in so much debt not being able to pay lawyer fees.

[@ramonaacker4414]

Melissa please contact me