Winning A Custody Battle - 3 Mistakes That Stop You From Winning A Custody Battle

Child custody has got to be one of the most important and stressful things a parent could ever get involved with. From a perspective of an attorney and a psychologist, Paul Jenkins and Sid Unrau are here today to point out 5 mistakes that could stop you from winning your child custody battle.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
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[@reddblurr]

Isn’t it sickening that someone who’s never met the parents of a child, knows nothing about them or their lifestyle and has never seen or talked to the child decides their fate and how much a child should see both parents?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, Macafee. Thank you for watching. Hope you are staying well.

[@Ryukikon]

Its called having someone who is neutral and not ruled by emotion, so they can make unbiased decisions. That is the objective, does it work well in practice, currently no.

[@bnatural1518]

@@Ryukikon I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that these people are paid very well. So then they are ruled by money, not the best interest of the child. Drops mic

[@jasonsmith8210]

It should be 50 50 by default as the starting point. Courts are still enforcing laws from the 50s that were never updated to the modern age.

[@bnatural1518]

Paid by the county sure. So they have absolutely no interest in the health of the children. The kids need specialized parental alienation professionals involved. Not these worthless evaluators.

[@maximusilive4theking986]

I went through a custody battle for my twin girls in so cal. Mom didn't want to give me joint custody but rather her have them and collect child support. I served her, went through mediation and then faced the judge and the judge granted me what I wanted, they were only 4 months old nd still granted me what i asked for. Soon enough she served me to reverse my rights, she lied and lied in her deceleration, our last judged past away so they assigned a different judge, again we went through mediation and faced the judge, the judge spoke to me only as she had a lawyer, ( both times) after she tried to talk the judge shut her up, yelled at her and once again I won my case. THEY are now 5 years old and I still have join custody, I don't know if it was luck, or things are changing now for men but I prayed and prayed and I believe God took part in what happend in that court room.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

maximus Ilive4theking, So glad you have a positive influence on your children and you are able to be a part of their lives.

[@comovivirsaludableme]

I believe it was God congrats

[@charlesleggett2546]

Congratulations. I'm trying to get custody of my son. He's 12 years old. His mother is an alcoholic.

[@d-dcay1783]

Or it was probably the fact that in family court you're not actually dealing with a judge you're dealing with a magistrate and magistrates have no power or jurisdiction to actually make a judgment. All they know is that every parent has rights and them not giving you those rights unless you're abusive to your kids the magistrate could get into some serious trouble. The magistrate is acting under color of law. Only an actual judge can make final decisions or judgments. The fact you didn't hire a lawyer probably helped you out a lot too. Being all lawyers take an oath when swearing in to abide by all FEDERAL LAW. Not constitutional law. Big difference in the two laws. When you hire an attorney you wave your constitutional rights and amendments. So it's never good to hire a lawyer unless they know some good loop holes.

[@reddblurr]

maximus Ilive4theking how did you form your declaration? I currently have joint but I’m going back for my 5 year old. Mother’s life is a wreck and I’ve got to get her out of the situation.

[@whatsgood4685]

The fact that these guys are so jaded makes me feel like they have screwed over a lot of parents. Thanks for the insight and honesty though

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

What's Good, thank you for watching.

[@ariahblack6043]

Yessss

[@chynar1630]

It must be very hard on kids and parents to go through those kind of situations I pray for all those parents and kids🙏🤲🌷

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for your kindness to others during their tough moments.

[@ImmaculateheartAustralia]

Amen❤

[@carlosmartinez8387]

The basic point is no one cares the judge don’t care everyone at the court don’t care so just look credible as possible.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Carlos the courts are a terrible place to solve family problems. I think the best we can do is stick to our principles and come through on the other side with our integrity still intact. Thanks for watching! DrPaul

[@carlosmartinez8387]

Live On Purpose TV thanks for responding I appreciate it.

[@talesoftheredpill7542]

Looking credible is not going to help you. It certainly didn't help me

[@carlosmartinez8387]

fathers rights unite now I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have any good advice for what to do now?

[@br4nd0n79]

Carlos Martinez good luck, and get a lawyer cause I lost badly with a good case with documentation behind it, also don’t talk about anything to anyone other than the judge. Everyone other than your lawyer is out to get you

[@cls5258]

What do we do when the spouse really is narciccistic and lies really really well. That scares me most. He is brilliant and can twist things so well that i dont even know what to do... Im left shaking and unsure how to prove that im being fully honest. :(

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

C LS, stick to your principles. Sometimes we have to accept that our job is not so much to "prove" that we are fully honest, as much as it is to "be" fully honest. We live with integrity despite what others may think or how they may characterize us. Best wishes to you! DrPaul

[@anm9059]

C LS learn to start keeping communication very simple, and to the point.

[@brittanymack6882]

Same here....

[@s.chariserandall7947]

C LS Watch "How to EXPOSE the narcissist in Court and/or to Psychologist!" on KZbin kzbin.info/www/bejne/hF6vd5isoM6ijJY

[@strong4865]

everyone lies in court

[@greenman5555]

Dealing with narcissistic parents vs accommodating parents.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Green Man, yep, big difference.

[@jesseruiz4087]

Your video really helped i felt like ending my life because without my son there is no life and i saw no hope from any side no matter what my family said it didnt make a difference i really thought i wouldnt see him again but your video and your advice has given me a new look and motivation to go a fight for him. Thank you! You dont know this or might not read it but you saved my life and my family alot of pain

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jesse Ruiz, thank you for letting me know. There is always hope, I truly believe that. Sometimes what we are hoping for doesn't happen in the moment we want, but we get what we need. Thank you for being a part of our community. I look forward to hearing more from you.

[@sunshinesunshine2714]

Don't give up beautiful!! My ex is a narcissist child abuser , he won custody with lies and then took off to Arizona with our child . It's been 5yrs!! I found them and we go to court Jan 29th!! My faith is bigger then the devil!! #Justice4Justice

[@tatianadavis5927]

Did you win the case?

[@madhumita3293]

What a brilliant video. Thanks for taking the time to make such informational videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Madhumita paul. I am glad you found the channel.

[@londyyyy6565]

I'm losing hope. I just need my son to know he has a great mother who cares about his well being. I don't want him to grow up thinking he only had one parent. He has Two loving parents. They're hiding my baby 😞.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Your comment is so sad, Londy Yyy. Write letters to your son that hopefully he will be able to see one day. It could help you in the meantime as you do what you can to find your son.

[@isasauce7172]

The same is happening to me. I need help. I'm devastated.

[@lolastone767]

me too I just need my son I'm really scared of his well-being he's only ten miles away from me he's only eleven I have freaking done everything I've had show me lawyers it's unreal in the people have been paid off and s*** judges lawyers everything

[@shanababygirl5927]

@@lolastone767 same here i need to get my baby back

[@karenyang1637]

I’m currently going through the same thing. My boyfriend took my son and we’re not married. Cops said he is able do that but because he’s the father but the law says unless we’re married, I have sole custody. I just want my 9 month old son back home with his mommy.

[@wondernutts]

You responded with words of support to a comment I left a while back about a high conflict custody case. I want to let you know, I won my case.... at lease the closest thing to winning one can have. Your videos helped me remove my own selfish agendas from the case and only focus on my child. If it was good for my child, it was good for me I thought to myself.....personal issues with the ex I left off the table and never went down that road....she did....and just like you said.. it wasn't a good look. Your videos are invaluable to help those avoid destructive and non-constructive behaviors going through their cases. Your perspectives are worth so much more than money can buy. All people have to do is listen. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

J B, I am happy for you. It is so true, all we can control is ourselves, not others.

[@mccauleyprop]

Thanks for posting this, very informative!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hope it helps! DrPaul

[@meaghanpike2424]

Thank you! 2 mediations and upcoming court- this is so valuable!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Meaghan Pike, good luck.

[@tankatomicmccallum4348]

this was very awesome. I'm going through something similar to this and it feels good to hear these words. I'm glad I didn't do mentally some of the things I was beating myself up for. It's so crazy how manipulative people can get with this. And I was just saying the other day it seems like it has nothing to do with the child it's just about greedy people trying to get leverage or power over someone else that they're no longer with. Thank you so much for sharing this

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tankatomic MCCALLUM, honored to be on your team.

[@TheVinegarden]

When my husband and I divorced ( and it wasn’t a pleasant separation) I’m so grateful that regardless of how much either of us were hurting we put the love we had for our children, first. We were not going to allow a court to decide how much either one of us would see our own children. We did have a schedule, but it was flexible. There was never a “ no, you can’t go with dad today, it’s not his day” BS. We used a mediator, not a court and I wish more people had that option or went with that as a solution. Our boys are grown now and have thanked us up and down for managing things as we did. Now that we have grandchildren, I’m so thankful we can attend family gatherings together ( I’m remarried) and our kids and grandkids don’t have the uncomfortable task of having two events and can enjoy their entire family.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Marcia Horn, it can work. So glad you have this figured out and it isn't awkward for anyone. It can be done.

[@TheVinegarden]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV oh, sometimes it can be awkward, but we get through it.

[@17thwhiteprince]

That's awesome

[@shervinchakoslavaki4859]

I wish I could do it, My ex just does anything to harm me. I changed a job 4 times already and it is very hard to go back to the tract and getting a job again.

[@Feber2001]

The fact that 280,000+ individuals have watched this video makes me realize that I should probably avoid marriage like the plague...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Clay Allison, What are the statistics with all the people in the world? My marriage has brought me so much happiness. Yes, there are struggles, but it is worth it. Not every marriage ends in divorce or child custody cases.

[@MikeJones-tz7ye]

Clay Allison yes!!!! Or have everything signed!!!!

[@mirrorflame1988]

Thank you for talking about this. This is very important!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome Mirrorwarrior - just today I wrote a letter for a good friend who is involved in a custody battle. The court is a terrible place for solving family problems. Hoping we can all get back to true principles! DrPaul

[@ryanworthington6346]

I think people get so caught up in how mad they are or how much they hate the other person now that they aren’t together, they don’t even think about what’s best for the children only how they can hurt each other.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ryan Worthington, I have seen some instances where I thought the same. Such an emotionally charged situation, it can turn the nicest man or woman into a different creature while they are going through the process.

[@ryanworthington6346]

Live On Purpose TV I have children with two mothers and mom 1 didn’t start taking me to court until two years after splitting up because I was with mom 2 and she got pregnant. She took me to court 5 times to modify the custody agreement, each time over the pettiest of things and within 3 months of the last agreement we made in court she actually started asking me to take the children more often until she actually let them come live with me because of her work schedule and they wanted to spend the time with me and not a babysitter. The whole time going to court she tried to say how terrible I was and I just went in there calmly everytime and talked straight to the judge and did everything that was asked of me and in the end not fighting worked out for me.

[@tarapotamus]

Great info! Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tara Davis, honored to be on your team.

[@justmeandthethree]

This is great advice! I have heard so many horror stories about disastrous divorces. My ex and I consulted an expert on how to prepare our children for the breakup. We also used third-party mediation, and that made a HUGE difference. We saved money, and we remained civil. Too often lawyers tell their clients not to talk with their spouses or do any negotiation on their own. I think that is a huge mistake to cut off our conversation and communication. Attorneys look on a divorce as a battle to be won rather than a puzzle to be solved. My ex and I still argue about stuff, but we don't FIGHT about it. We also try to remain flexible with respect to vacation and family gatherings. And, we put the well-being of our children first.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Just Me, I am so glad to hear that you and your ex have found a way to remain civil and put your children first. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

[@justmeandthethree]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I think it also helped that we divorced before we hated each other. But, mediation helped us remain focused and civil. Many times I thought the mediator was biased in favor of my ex-wife, but she thought he was biased in MY favor so I think that means he was doing his job correctly.

[@trojanette8345]

Too bad I didn't know about any of this or you any sooner. Great tips you are sharing with your audience.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Dena B. Glad you are finding value with the videos, keep watching.

[@shanda822]

Thank you guys for the video! It has given me a better insight for how I can regain sole custody of my child. Can you guys do a more in depth video on custody situations like this but involving a relative that has the child instead of the other parent?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Shanda Mickens, it is pretty much the same, I don't think there is a whole video there, thanks for watching.

[@HaniMNasr]

Doctor Paul, I would appreciate it if you can consider the following two topics for future videos: how to discipline kids without getting in trouble with the authorities and how to encourage kids to take risks but keep them safe at the same time. Thank you in advance. I am more than blessed that I found your channel.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for the suggestions, Mohamad Hani. I will add the topics and consider them.

[@FLEX.609]

I just subscribed to your Channel keep up the good work love watching your videos

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for subscribing FLEX609 - honored to have you here. DrPaul

[@threeicys]

When a parent says "my child is not safe over there" it is valid more often then not. Nothing to do with pride. Courts are behind the times when it comes to protecting children. Too often it's about working the calander/managing the case and not what is the best interest of the child.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for commenting, Road Wonder. I believe we all wish the judicial system was better. The best interest of our children is in the best interest of our future.

[@Marwadear512]

I’ve known too many women lie by claiming their ex is abusive when he isn’t. Keeping a child from its father IS abuse and IS leading the child to feel unsafe in the world.

[@justinbates3399]

In a battle for my children right now an I’ve been hearing so many things it you both cleared a lot of my misunderstandings thanks and this is so tough but I’m just trying todo what’s right for the kids and thanks again

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Justin Bates. I'm honored to have you at the channel. We have more on our child custody playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd. Best wishes to you and your children.

[@cre8tivity06]

Love this video! Thanks for the tips!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're so welcome!

[@maggiel4435]

I am a grandmother of 2 special needs children who are currently with The Child Protection Agency ... I am going to court soon on behalf of these special children who cannot speak for themselves...as of yet, therefore, I will be speaking on their behalf and representing myself in this final court hearing for custody of my grandchildren ... I just turned 63 and am hoping this will not be a deterrent for me on this issue .. but I do have a criminal record (only one charge ..drug related by the time I was 56 in my whole life) ..I pray that this is not a predictor of the outcome for the sake of my beautiful grand babies, with whom I have a very special bond and love for ...thanks for the video ...so good to hear "unbiased" advice from you ...thank you for opening my eyes to some very important rules of the court room !

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lexi Margaret, I hope you are successful, I know of several grandparents who received custody in their 60's.

[@scottbateman4318]

Thanks, all great advise that is greatly appreciated

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Scott Bateman, you are welcome, honored to be on your team.

[@alexandercaruso2889]

actually watching all these videos for research for a chapter im writing for a book im working on

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hope you find them helpful Alexander - thanks for watching! DrPaul

[@queenvero157]

Great but justice is not equal

[@sandilakesglow]

I'll contribute my story.

[@ineedatbitch]

I would love to help

[@energeticflows7055]

Love all your videos Thank you for your education and inspiring words

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

najma m, my pleasure.

[@marlanabeasley1790]

Great video! Very helpful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Marlana.

[@helenatroy33]

You guys are totally awesome! Bringing wisdom, thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team, Helena Phoenix.

[@justonolson7936]

How do you win a child custody battle if the reason the child likes the other parent more is because they are more lenient and give them more freedom so the child gravitates towards that?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good questions, Juston. Your child must be older and therefore have some input. Continue to love the child, no matter what and even if...

[@JoMagic-ny8zu]

Yea my ex is best friends with our sons and let's them do whatever they want. Even to smoke those medical pens and other blunts. So I'm labeled as the boring , no fun guy parent. Because I want them to be responsible and be successful... She is a narcissist and is using my boys to be on her level of a ignorance..🤪

[@fishautawater73]

@@JoMagic-ny8zu i dont think that constitute being a narcissist.

[@davidecapps65]

Your videos always make me feel better..thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so honored by your comment, David E Capps aka the starving artist. I love my job. Thank you for being here on the channel.

[@christyepperson8805]

Great advice, thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome!

[@doreengalea7329]

I would like to give a big Thanks for your Beautiful video clips i am sure that it would be a big help we re going thru this right now with our case of my grand daughter i will take your advice i am sure it will be a great help for us

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome, Doreen Galea, good luck.

[@kaz2910]

Sounds like great advice However my ex partner is an emotional abuser and his game is to hurt me and in the process is hurting our son

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

The principles are around what we can personally do regardless of how other people act or treat us. Stick to the principles and you can come through this whole thing with integrity - no matter what he does. DrPaul

[@kaz2910]

Live On Purpose TV thank you

[@mamaknow8056]

The question states the child in affected in the mental abuse.. staying in principle does what in aiding the child in a positive manner as to not be affected from the abuse to other parent?? My child has been subjected to this situation for years. I have been without an attorney for 6 yrs. Other parent bullies every situation in opposition. Please help. You are appreciated thank you.

[@Kainmane]

@@kaz2910 stfu you hurt yourself by losing custody b**** except someone accountability lady

[@ixxgxx]

Roberto Mundo “If I’m hurt by my ex it hurts my child boohoo”

[@awho33]

You guys are so helpful!!! I sincerely appreciate the time and effort you both put into making this video. I feel very fortunate to have stumbled upon your KZbin channel!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am glad you found us, Alicia Who. Please consider sharing with anyone else you think might benefit. Thanks for watching.

[@awho33]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV ooh, I already have!!

[@anjelawilliams6012]

Very helpful and informative information.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you liked it, Anjela.

[@nightmareTomek]

Wow reading these comments makes me sad, this world is truly selfish. My partner hasn't the right to see my child? And how about the rights and feelings of the child, does anybody care about that? Does he have the right to see his/her father/mother?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I wish more people would stop, get out of their own selfish way, and realize as you so skillfully pointed out that our adult choices affect our kids - sometimes in a very profound and life-altering way. Thank you for being a conscious parent! DrPaul

[@sidunrau7880]

If by "partner" you mean non-biological step-parent (married or not), then no - the partner has no right to see the child. Only biological or adopted parents have "natural legal rights" to see the children, and vice versa. Others (grandparents and other significant adults) may be able to obtain a court-order to establish some derivative rights for visitation. The specifics of each case greatly influence the possibilities. "Best interest of the child(ren)" is a legally-defined term, not a common sense term - and certainly not a child's perspective term (although there is typically an attempt to take the child's perspective into account).

[@aleasharowe2551]

Agreed. Their focusing on their feelings. What’s best for all children is to have both parents in their life (given they are good parents). The Bible says to settle outside of court for a reason.

[@Cacathecow]

Thank you for the video. What should I do when the other parent lies about how much time they have the kids?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Annie Lin, I am not sure who you are needing to get this information to. I guess, keep a record and let your attorney know, they will know how to use the information.

[@nicholascobb8523]

Thank you for this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nicholas cobb, you are very welcome.

[@timfrederick3271]

Thanks guys for your complete honesty

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Tim Frederick. Thank you for watching.

[@Noname-613]

So what do I do when my ex-wife has alienated the kids from me ? And it’s been 1 month since I have spoke to them. How do I continue child support when we aren’t communicating?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

j nolasco, I am not sure if you are talking financially or emotionally. You have a financial obligation to support your child. The situation may be temporary. Try sending them cards or texts or emails letting them know you are thinking of them and open to talk. It may take a while for them to respond. Don't give up.

[@helena3631]

Remember no one wins when the family fued

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

YV-HE W, and when families come together, so much can be gained.

[@haroldflowers8182]

steve harvey does

[@LivingBGLegend]

My daughter deserves so much more family

[@bryanfrye8770]

444

[@WithLoveAshley]

@@haroldflowers8182 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@1469roach]

Thank you for your videos!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Michael Rocha. Thanks for watching.

[@djentile7773]

This video calms some of the worry of getting the ball rolling. Other videos make it seem terrifying. Thanks guys.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It might be a little bit of both, Djentile 777. Thanks for watching, and best wishes.

[@brandymoore7191]

I’d love to hear more of your advice ...especially when the police chief is your husband’s cousin, and the judge is his golf partner. I maybe no one special, but I’m confident that I can tell you a horror story you’ve never come across.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I don't understand how someone hasn't had to recuse themself from the case, Brandy Moore, but I believe you. Some pretty unfair things happen.

[@KJ-gx7bg]

You sound like me, my ex father was an officer, so he’s cool with the chief, the damn judge used to be his attorney for several years even recused himself and still made a decision on my emergency custody….remind you I have a restraining order on my ex for attacking me while holding out son and did I mention he has 3 open felony cases and restraining order violations and walking around free and dictating if I can move for me and my childrens safety I hate it here!!

[@Enocidica]

Hello, I couldn't help but notice this video. You gave some amazing pointers and some of which I am currently correcting to a refined state. I have to ask. In a situation where you were the care taker of the child and due to constant physical altercation, you move.. could the courts deem that as abandonment even if you have physical evidence of calls and outreach? She has sole custody and i would like to take her back to court to solidify some time with my son.. it's been a year and a half and I've only gotten to see him for one week with her around . Is there a way I could have a court order so that she could not be there?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dennis Whitaker, it is difficult to speak to that issue since I am not an attorney and I do not know the laws of your state. Hopefully you can find someone to help you navigate the laws in your state and be able to spend more time with your son.

[@rosemariecarehome1168]

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH... True Gents. 💯

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Rose Marie Care Home. I am honored to be on your team.

[@munhassan7840]

This is great thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mun Hassan, you are very welcome.

[@karissaexplainsitadhdstyle]

Thank you for the help! It's scary going into court alone and your tips made me feel a little more confident. Do you have any tips for representing yourself when the other side has a lawyer? It is pretty intimidating knowing the other side has much more knowledge and experience about the procedures and laws when you are just starting to learn about all of it. I really appreciate your help!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Karissa, it can feel intimidating. Present your information with a calm face, calm body, calm voice. Don't allow yourself to be tipped over.

[@michellemoffitt9715]

I'm right there with you. I'm pro se for myself as a defendant.

[@VictoriaMarch13]

Me 3 😢 but mine is my mother has my 14 year old and has decided she wants to keep him and has been filling his head with lies and coaching him. I have had addiction issues in the past but they're using it against me now. I have 3 younger kids and now I'm just in defense mode trying not to loose them.

[@michellemoffitt9715]

@@VictoriaMarch13 same!!! Awww.

[@Sashasashas-qz9kl]

​@@michellemoffitt9715 can u explain what u meant? can u help me any tips would be great, did u win in court??

[@ReenyNY]

Simply put, dont be a vindictive jerk. Be nice.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

In a nutshell, you are right, ReenyNY. Thank you for commenting.

[@cyndismith4939]

So hard to be nice when my sons' father is trash talking about me infront of our son and myself. I'm pretty sure my tongue is shorter and my blood pressure is higher.

[@tramarthomas6105]

@@cyndismith4939 Big oof for you

[@terrellwashington9851]

Man I learn a lot. Thanks

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Terrell Washington. Thank you for being here at Live On Purpose TV.

[@tonylong-drew6547]

This is extremely good, this confirms that my lawyer knows what she’s doing in instructing me.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Perfect, I wish you well, Tony.

[@thetruthmessenger6358]

? what..... everything you have said my ex has done and I have gone through the FULL canadian court process including a full 5 day trial after 3 years. And nothing happened to the other parent and I am still being denied access. Despite a final order granting me regular parenting time and 6 weeks vacation time.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wow! I am not an attorney or licensed and familiar with Canadian Court. What does your attorney say? Can the other party be found in contempt for not following the order? Continue to reach out.

[@LG-sj6nj]

Dealing with a narcissistic parent in court would be a good help

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Got it and I have had this request. Some personalities are more challenging than others. Thanks for the suggestion, elizabeth ramirez.

[@jamesricker9156]

I can tell you from experience that how you phrase this to yourself and others makes a big difference. Your ex may be Narcissistic. However, they are still your child's parent. make your focus on your child having two parents, always. "Exposing" them by pointing out their flaws (saying things like dangerous, self absorbed, abusive) is the type of game they are OK with playing because they are likely much better at it than you. It takes the focus off of where it belongs.

[@WizardofGOP]

Or borderline personality disorder. Pathogenic parenting sucks.

[@bdonovan225]

I have 4 pending cases I didn't have 2 months ago, great insight boys thanks

[@antonioquijas8033]

Thank you for your advice. It helps me refocus. I understand the power of love and it's a definite better choice to view circumstances from a different. You guy's have inspired hope. Than you for your great advice.. God Bless You Gentlemen.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Antonio Quijas, we are honored to be on your team.

[@wabacake9937]

My dad is going against my mom in court. I REALLY don’t wanna go back to my moms house so I’m hoping my dad wins custody 😔

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Melody, good luck to you!

[@Orophile_303]

How old are you? At 14, they may ask you who you want to live with.

[@wabacake9937]

lunar limit. I’m 13 turning 14 in November 😗

[@wabacake9937]

April Duckworth thank you 🥺

[@lienbijs1205]

@April Duckworth You have to be careful what to say to a child, always be neutral in such cases because you never know if there is parental neglection going on.

[@MeloveGod1]

Thank you for your advice, and dedication to helping people.. My kids father has not tried to see his kids in over 3 yrs and all of a sudden when child support is enforced he has filed for custody. I can't afford an attorney because I am unemployed and and providing full support of our kids. It seems like his attorney gets heard and gets what he asks for in court, and I am getting ignored when I try to speak up for the children. How is it ok for the father to abandon the kids for 3yrs causing mental abuse and still be considered custody? I know you said they have heard it all so many times but if I don't speak up the kids may suffer more. When he abandons them it is too painful on them and I have to step in, like everything isn't already hard enough being a single parent.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

C G, document what is happening and present it to the court in a factual and non emotional way. I wish you luck. Glad you are rock for the kids.

[@MeloveGod1]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you, I do find myself getting very emotional when I present this information, so your advice will go a long way. I will remember to keep my emotions in check. Thank you so much for your response!!!

[@connorc4074]

Attorneys are the best actors.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Connor C, thank you for watching.

[@colingrant321]

I believe this is great advise. Proven and documented facts are what courts use.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Colin Grant. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

[@sassietroy428]

It also depends on the judge. I know of a case where the father calculated his child support based on the New York guide lines and paid it every two weeks without an order. He recalculated it every year. I convinced him to stop paying in cash and to pay by check and write "child support" in the memo line. This worked fine for years until the mother applied for welfare. When she applied she lied and said she never got one cent in child support. When she went to court she claimed again, she had not received any money. The father had a box of cancelled checks proving he had been paying child support for years. What did the judge do? She recalculated the child support and said the father was delinquent and owed 18 dollars. The mother lied to welfare, lied to the court, and she had no consequence. This was a small county and this judge was known to be completely unfair to fathers in custody, child support cases.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

This is so unfortunate. I wish people were honest, and that the judicial system was better/fairer. But imperfection is all we have to work with. Best wishes to your friend, Sassie Troy. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.

[@jamesricker9156]

My case of custodial interference was so bad that I was told the Custody Evaluator, Reunification Therapist, and the Judge had never seen anything quite like it before in terms of severity. It took over 4 years in my case and I will admit that 50/50 custody at the end (after almost none for years) was a bit of a shock not only to me but seasoned professionals as well, given my ex's verifiable behavior. BUT. HERE'S THE THING. All of these things are still helpful. Don't try to control things you cannot control. (Like the judges, your ex, evaluators.) Control your own behavior. PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST! I also know this judge dealt with more than one case of parental kidnapping and my ex's lawyer showed herself to be really aggressive, to the point an appellate court slapped them on the wrist and as seasoned family attorney believes several of the things that were done are potentially sanctionable. Best interest of the child also includes not potentially being kidnapped or worse. Is it a perfect system? Not by a long shot. But I am among many people actively involved in improving things. I believe the arrangement I have is much better than I might have gotten even 10 years ago. I stand on the shoulders of those who were strong enough to get involved with change and listen to common sense tips like this as a foundation.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sounds like you have a great attitude about everything. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[@bobhunley8794]

Thank you very much. Bob

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Bob Hunley. Thank you for watching.

[@helenatroy33]

You have an awesome personality sir.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for your kind comment, Helena Phoenix.

[@deniselynn333]

How can we stop the other parent from filing for emergency custody/full custody shortly after each custody battle? Shouldn’t this be a red flag to the courts? How can this continue?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

If the laws of your state allow the filings, there is little you can do. Talk to someone who is knowledgeable with the laws of your state and see if there is something you can do. Thank you for watching.

[@steffanie8117]

Exactly what I'm going through what state are you from?

[@markstokes7110]

There is nothing you can do except spend 100's of 1000's to prove your innocence all for nothing in the end even when you are proven innocent...........family court is a billion dollar industry. The court cares about you personally the same way Mcdonalds cares about your health.

[@whitstone8784]

Exactly! I'm still fighting for my son but not my daughter I have my daughter so explain that one! It's b******* export a order on f****** b******* allegations and the judge that signed it recused himself so you explain to me how it's even legal that it still happening

[@platypusguineapig]

More please

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

OK, platypusguineapig, I will add more to the playlist.

[@pafrock1]

Hello Paul. Surprisingly that is my name as well. haha. I found your video one day on KZbin and I was not looking for it. I just took a chance at watching and it was comforting and informative during this custody battle I am going through now. From what I hear this is the worst time to be involved due to COVID which has slowed down the court system. I have been at tears in the last few months because the court is taking so long to get a custody order in place. My ex is what one considers a vexatious litigant. She repeatedly files for a TRO and is trying to get full custody of our daughter. These filings are unwarranted and unnecessary. I have never hurt this woman, nor have I threatened her. She includes our daughter in the TRO and the judge has been granting the TRO to get to a hearing. The first two were terminated and the next was denied by the Judge. Now she has filed again, keeping me from seeing my daughter. I know inside and out I am a wonderful father as others can validate that as well. How am I going to co-parent with a parent with a vengence? Your video on co parenting suggest parents keep the two worlds but this woman is claiming I can't take care of a child because I don't follow her schedule. I am beat down and tired. I have troubles getting an attorney because they are so expensive, but because I do work I don't qualify for free legal help. This woman is the typical claw you to death type of woman. She won't stop until I am completely out of her life and our daughters. What can I do?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Gambit 21, I am not sure. The problems you talk about are all too often ones we hear with people going through a divorce. Both parents need to have the child's best interest at heart and when they don't, this kind of thing happens. I am so sorry. Work on what you control and if you ever see your child, let her know you love her and will always be there for her.

[@pafrock1]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Don't you think its illegal to alienate a parent from their child? You speak of this in one of your video's. Look if you have even a fraction of time 30 mins to dissolve what is happening with my child that would mean the world to me. My daughter doesn't deserve this. I was looking over pictures tonight I'm separating for DCSS and the memories it brings back.. This girl had such an unfair start of her life. I gonna swear here. .. My piece of shit Ex caused all of this. I want my daughter to have a fair chance at a regular childhood. Hope to talk to you.

[@ashleybellerose7104]

Yeah. Stressful is absolutely right. My heart hasn't stopped pounding.

[@FranciscoMeza]

Can you make a video of when one parent uses the law to gain advantage for child custody, like a temporary restraining order filled with false allegations? How does that work in a child custody evaluation?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Francisco Meza, that tactic is used way too often, the first one to strike out with affidavits. After a while it is shown to not have standing.

[@joeycarbullido9421]

I’ve been fighting for my daughter and lost to and 80/20 split. My ex decided to take my daughter to a therapist to talk about her issues. My daughter said her mom was in the meetings initiating the talks on how bad dad is. She took the report to court because the therapist said I was verbally abusive for scolding her about grades punctuality and not helping around the house. When we went to the mediator the mediator says to us as we walk in. I know how this is my dad was strict with me when I was growing up. So the mediator sided with moms complaints. Mom persists on making my daughter feel guilty about going 50/50 again because she says “ I fought for you” so now my daughter feels bad.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Regardless of what split you have, your child needs to know that you are there for her, no matter what. Thank you for watching the video. I hope you can have a close relationship with her.

[@mercyigoki5861]

C

[@livingfree7153]

Thank you ❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team Shawna! DrPaul

[@Mikeandmads]

Thanks for exposing the cancer in the system. Very honest feedback

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching. My best to you and your family.

[@jayneri1902]

QUESTION HERE: My wife and I just separated few months ago,. and after a month or two, i was just wondering why my daughter keeps telling me Im a liar, and dont want to talk to me anymore and in times i tried to met them she dont want to come near me. she's 7year old now. How do i know if they are brainwashing my daughter?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It sounds like someone is talking to her, Jay Neri. If you are going through a custody issue, your daughter can be evaluated.

[@itoddforbes]

@Jay- its already happening. the right thing, which is also the hardest thing, is to continue to make contact and don't engage in the fight with her and tell her if she ever has any questions about you that she should talk to you. This is going to be a long haul. prepare yourself. watch video "finding pluto".

[@ineedatbitch]

87

[@veronikaandreeva5959]

If the mother says the actual story of relationships is not brainwashing is being truthful to the child.

[@3rdiopen_933]

How does one proceed with rectifying major issues of: One parent withholding the child from the other, cuts visits short of they get angry, refuses to discuss any visitation schedule, or doesnt involve the other parent on virtually every issue concerning the childs day to day life - medical decisions, religious views, daycare options, who the child is with, etc etc... And there is NO court order or agreement in place except for the verbal one btwn the parents that the other keeps changing and not abiding by? How do you go about such a situation?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Therein lies the challenge Denise - even WITH a court order, there are so many what I call "unenforceable rules" that come up in a divorce situation. I think our best hope is to always stick to our principles. That's something we can always control, and at the end of the day we get to maintain our own integrity regardless of what others might do. Thanks for watching! DrPaul

[@3rdiopen_933]

Live On Purpose TV I think my explanation on my situation was misunderstood. There isnt a court order of any kind. When we split up, we later talked about how it would go/how we were going to handle co-parenting so to speak. I believe now that it was just a tactic he used to keep me from taking him to court over custody. He tells me what I want to hear in order to maintain the upperhand on when, where, and how long my time with our Son is at all times. Is there any suggestion you can offer or any direction you can suggest I look into in hopes to prevent/reduce our child from being affected by our separation ??

[@gitbint]

Denise Farley Hi, we are in a very similar situation. Sadly. I have little faith that these dudes will gets back to you. They are in it for $$. Again, sadly. I can chat with you 👍 You on Facebook? Im Jesse Hansell

[@talesoftheredpill7542]

Denise Farley please go to my channel, I talk about how to deal with and fight for your Constitutional Rights to the Care and Custody of your Children. An attorney will waive your Rights without you even realizing it's happening. Don't become a victim.

[@dorliz]

My ex took an accidental scratch while i was cleaning during an argument about me wanting him to leave the house and said i purposefully attacked him, got me put in jail, then placed a restraining and a no contact order on me yet he doesn't live here. So, although in the past we would co-parent, the restraining/ no contact order hindered any and all visits until the order was lifted. During this time, he seemed to have forgotten that he placed the order then violated it multiple times. For my freedom and safety, the kids didn't go because i wasn't allowed to be near him, his family, and their residence. He moved back with his mom. Now during this time he spoke with them via phone, but insulted me so many times that they refuse to even talk on the phone. Kids are 14 and 10. I keep telling them to speak to him they say no. They don't feel like they did when he was here and are actually scared to see vehicles that are like his. He states that I did all of this to them and has not paid any child support. Instead wants me to pay him. I'm scared that he will harm my kids emotionally. With all this, in Texas how old does a child have to be in order to not be forced by the court to visit the non-custodial parent.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

marien b, I don't know, I hope you can find your answer.

[@heatherschramm817]

What do you do when the other parent as a step parent allows the child and enables your child to talk bad about you on social media ?? How do you bring that up in court and how do you go about it ??

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Have copies of the posts so take screen shots and bring it up when appropriate.

[@jursee33]

you hit the nail on the head with the cell phones and the games played where if the child/Teen doesn't get her/his way.........Hey Mom, Dad's being MEAN. Come get me. And she does. Then the mom tells the court the child is not comfortable at Dad's house because he's cooking something for dinner that the child does not want. But does the mom say that's the problem? No, she just says the child is "uncomfortable" and the judge says ok then. The father is a threat to the child. This goes on in MA courts, I never believed it until I saw it. How can the father get vindicated? He needs so much help up against the wall of coached children who's mother undermines all authority and uses visitation as a tool to torture him.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hang in there and stick to your principles, then you can come through this with your integrity intact no matter what happens on the other side of things. Look through the Positive Parenting playlist for some more ideas. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that my wife Vicki and I just recorded. Get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com DrPaul

[@jursee33]

Thank you, I will!!!

[@lum3336]

Something judges and all professionals in the family court MUST do is educate themselves on cluster b personality disorders! Hellooooo Specially on how it affects children!!! It’s urgent!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hear you, Olma2013, thanks for commenting.

[@lum3336]

Live On Purpose TV thank you!!

[@alexochoa1476]

Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Alex Ochoa. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV. : )

[@stevieshred682]

Videos are so important in 2019! More people need to be becoming aware of reality!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Stevie Shred, videos are a way to communicate to a wide audience.

[@realtalk6340]

Stevie Shred amen brother. I had the mother of my child consent to me placing audio video recording in the house. She agreed. It may just save our daughters right to be with the healthy parent and safer more present parent.

[@brendaabruzzese1377]

Some parents follow the rule of the court.the kid is truly in danger, and wind up dead by the other parent, you two make it out to be a joke,some custody cases are TRULY serious!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

These cases are the minority and there are signals but can't always be seen. It is tragic.

[@1979Heyjude]

Document everything and take the high road with your ex. Don’t be petty or spiteful- do what’s best for the kids

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

ALWAYS have your motivation be in the best interest of the child, HeyJude2018.

[@robertsanderson1172]

It is so hard to prove what these Narssist really do Hopefully all my texts and documentation .Helps my Son Round Number 2 wish me luck.

[@humanalsowritterstephanie2195]

Thank you so much …..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My pleasure - thanks for watching Stephanie - best wishes! DrPaul

[@raycastaneda7089]

Thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My pleasure Ray - thanks for watching! DrPaul

[@inesmillan6520]

Thank you this is great help. I really think mom and dad have the same rights. My daughter is just happy every time she visit her father. He is such a great father. I would never take my daughter away from her father she deserves having a mommy and a daddy even if we're not together she deserves it all.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for your comments ines millan - you are so right! DrPaul

[@sidunrau7880]

I wish all divorced/separated parents had this attitude, Ines. Thank you for your comment!

[@livingfree7153]

ines millan you’re very lucky to have an excellent father.

[@Keeks492]

ines millan l wish l was in your situation. My ex can’t make any decision himself. He only does what the evil woman he has as a mother tells him what to do

[@livingfree7153]

ines millan good for you

[@MissSaraJan3]

The lord knows we would not have to be here, preparing for the worst and hoping for the best... IF THESE PEOPLE WOULD JUST REMOVE THE EX ASPECT🤯 remove your pride and be selfless, work as a team

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sara Jane, it always works out best when parents put the kids first and themselves second.

[@Xjamiedean]

You've said the wisest words yet. Keep it up

[@juliejustus6878]

My grandkids are in foster care and have been since last July. They have a GAL that has only met them once and claimed my daughter has traumatized them. My daughter has a KZbin account that shows that’s an absolute lie. They’ve done absolutely nothing toward reunification and her lawyers keep refusing to take it in front of the court. Now they’re asking her to do things that they know are absolutely impossible for her to do. Please someone help her. We can’t afford a lawyer to help us 12:02

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

See what resources are available to you. Hard to know from here. Let the kids know you love them no matter what and even if...

[@juliejustus6878]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I refuse to believe the what if! Satan has control over these people but, God has the final say! If he can resurrect Lazarus from the dead, cast demons from a man that had a legion of demons, cause the lame to walk, cause the deaf to hear and heal a paralyzed to walk? He can change this situation in a blink of a eye so, I rebuke the devil

[@sandraloper7834]

These guys are making valid points. My son went through a custody battle for his son, the whole time he focused on what was best for his son. In the end he got sole physical and legal custody and the judge commended him for his focus on the child and not his ex-wife.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sandra Loper, thank you for commenting and letting us know your experience. It does help to focus on what is best for the children.

[@oncewas37]

Can ya'll do a video on grandparent intervention in child custody cases. I ask this because I am a grandparent doing this now or rather trying to, we raised our granddaughter for 41/2 yrs and the father had nothing to do with her not a phone call not a Christmas card nothing he lies to the court his lawyer n gets emergency custody its a big mess that an 8 year is having to deal with he had absolutely isolated her from everything she has known in the past 4 years its been 102 days n still the judge has not heard my motion to intervene help any info please

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Chris nTammy Davis, my heart goes out to you and what you are going through. I am not aware of the laws of your state so seek legal advice.

[@jonathansantos6009]

Thanks for feeling the urgent needs to help correctify our approach and level of expertise when graduating the results together. Insightfully needing to find people like me to keep on the proper parenting track and charted graduation services.

[@jonathansantos6009]

Keep us in touch, thanks

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV, Jonathan Santos. If you want more assistance on parenting, please check out our Positive Parenting playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU

[@jonathansantos6009]

I found how we need both parents to request for child support or else it’s faulty and sloppy! How many cases you know got reformed around my questions?

[@elijahdigg7567]

I feel better after watching your channel my daughter mom moved out of state with my kid without notifying me or telling me due to a problem she was having with her family so she say but I have joint legal and physical custody over my kid I’ll go to court on next week to try to get custody because she refuses to bring my kid back or let me pick her up

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Elijah Digg, I wish you well. I hope you get to see your daughter.

[@jamescadzow9545]

Thanks for the info, great common sense stuff. I'm currently in a custody battle with my ex-wife and she's not allowing me to see my daughter. I've always paid child support on time. My ex-wife is a covert narcissist and up until 2 years ago my daughter never left my side. I ask the court to intervene with a psychological evaluation but they appointed me a Court appointed advisor to interview both parents and the child because I brought up emotional abuse as a major concerned. I spoke briefly with the lady she's a social worker with a master's degree in sociology. Do you think she will be able to pick up on this narcissistic behavior since it is covert and it's the hardest one to evaluate?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I certainly hope you will be allowed to see your daughter, she needs you. Keep trying and be there when the opportunity presents itself. It will one day.

[@monicacasares4044]

This video is very helpful . Definitely hiring a lawyer. But I’m glad to see we’re not the only ones noticing the judges are biased and believe bullshit story’s

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Monica Casares, thanks

[@starcityrc3298]

My Wife's Alcoholism tore our Family apart. She had sex with a drug dealer in my Bed when I was in the hospital with my sick Niece. I finally pressured her into treatment for her to relapse 2 weeks after graduation. Multiple Police calls on her drunk around the Children, CPS, etc. She has been charged with Child Abuse twice. Convicted of Shoplifting alcohol last year. She just recently got Domestic Assault against me. I have a Protection Order now. It got to a point where I volunteered a CPS case. Now she is filing for Divorce??? Her lawyer is trying to paint me as a Domestic Abuser. I think I have a good case

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I wish you the best. Hope you have everything documented and are working with an attorney.

[@lisaashcraft8373]

My ex moved out of state (35 minute commute) when we separated 2.5 years ago. For the past 6 months he and our kids (when he has them) have been staying with his girlfriend who lives 50 minutes away. I have concerns about this long commute on a regular basis. To and from school equals more that an 1.5 hrs of driving per day. Will I have court backing to request for more custody throughout the school week? Their school is 3/10ths of a mile from my house. We have been doing 50/50 custody on our own agreement but are looking to be officially divorced this year so I am seeking some changes as things become solidified legally. I also will propose he gets more time in the summer. Any advice? Thanks in advance!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

No legal advice here - that's for your attorney. My main concern from years of doing these evaluations and from working with families and children is to pay attention to what matters most for the kids. Some of the things we get all uptight about as adults really don't matter that much to the kids. Sometimes inconveniences for us are really not ultimately going to make the difference. In another video I did for Hero TV here on KZbin, I mentioned five factors that really do matter for the kids, from the research compiled by Dr. Elizabeth Ellis in her book "Divorce Wars". Here's a link to a summary on my website. Hope this helps! DrPaul drpauljenkins.com/five-factors/

[@sidunrau7880]

A commute, in and of itself, is a matter of perspective (usually) and is not inherently good or bad. Long-distance driving can be productive/conducive to relationship-building - or not. I am not suggesting that there is no legal way to address the situation you describe or to modify your current agreement. Each case has its own set of facts that must be carefully considered.

[@gabrielagamero7677]

What about the one parent harass the other parent while droping off the baby from the one parent house? The one parent doesnt say anything but just stay quiet

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sometimes being quiet is the answer. Sounds like the other person is looking for a reaction to maybe use against them. Remember, the child is the important one in the relationship. Try journaling to work out the thoughts you wanted to say or when it is happening, think to yourself, this amuses me. Let me know how it goes, Gabriela Gamero.