How To Win Child Custody

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I mentioned a summary of five factors in the video that determine the outcome of divorce for children. Here you go: drpauljenkins.com/five-factors/ DrPaul

[@willieg1757]

I have a question. The mother of my child passed away and I have to get custody from her grandmother..me and the mom wasn't married and I'm knowned to be in my child's life... How can I prepare myself for court.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Willie, you're on the right track by watching these videos. Make sure you keep the best interest of your child in mind, and do what you can to minimize the conflict. Get some coaching and professional legal advice too. There's a few other videos on this channel you might want to check out related to custody issues. DrPaul

[@shakilatasweer3323]

My ex-husband beated up my son. I applied for custody. Children don't want to go back and im the mother and they want to stay with me. Will judge listen to my children???

[@Darkatlas_23]

I have a quick question, what should I do with a criminal case and restraining order is filed before a divorce

[@fox12ful]

I have a question, and thanks for the video it was very insightful.Since my son was born i've had him every other weekend and a few hours tues and Thursdays, he's 10 years old now and the past 6 years ive had a stable job and have a lifestyle that can include my son about half the time 50/50. Its something i've been thinking about a lot lately and believe that both of us having him half the time is what's best for our son and me as a father. When I've asked the other party about it over the years, IM always told it's not what's best for the child and it doesn't work for their schedule or their family,( She's remarried) Me as a father would love the opportunity to be there for my son during mornings he's gotta go to school or immediately after to talk about his day, or in the past while, my son has had behavioral problems at his mothers home, things i haven't yet witnessed because, im not around enough or considered a disciplinary figure to my son maybe. sorry for the long paragraph, my question is , what does the judge expect from the father, when he believes 50/50 is right for the child? i believe in my case having him spend half the time with me on a regular basis might help his behavioral problems or at least i can witness them, and help him more in the moment.

[@Kracken11111]

Every time I try to use love, my ex partner sees it as a weakness & attack me. For my kids sake, I’m trying really hard to not take the bait & it’s like swallowing bricks... This is a rough ride...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is tough when we aren't on the same page, Sam Lawrence. Parenting can be rough at times, but focus on the wonderful times. Thanks for watching.

[@NoName-rl3fh]

This.

[@karimadigital8875]

I feel you Cara

[@juansariles]

I understand I'm going through it right now with my ex

[@RushLoftis]

Just earlier this week the divorce and child custody case I was involved in finally ended. I followed the information from your videos to a T I believe and boy are you ever right. I got exactly what I was trying to get it which is 50-50 custody and everything works out great. My ex-wife just tried to vilify me the whole time and say I was a horrible dad and all sorts of things. But I just kept my chin up and followed all the advice from your videos about not being that guy who just villainizes the other parent and you are right. Your information works! I’m so glad I found your videos thank you so much for doing them! My daughter and I get so much time together now I’m so happy. Thank you so much!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rush Loftis, thank you for letting me know. Happy for you and your daughter and the experiences waiting to happen together.

[@jessemedina4482]

I'm genuinely really happy for you.. and your story gives me some hope as I prepare for this upcoming court battle in a couple weeks. Thanks for sharing it.

[@Shadow-fz4ev]

What if your ex is a lying narcissist and so nobody believes what you have to say now because of them...?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

The life you live will show their comments are not accurate, LifeAsShadow, but it may take some time. Don't let their behavior define how you live.

[@Amaris_flowers]

This is EXACTLY what I am going through right now! He has been manipulating my closest family members to try to convince the SW of all the bullshit he feeds everyone. I am so frustrated, disappointed and drained.

[@djdigitaldivergence6937]

I am going through this as well with custody. The judge figured it out after 2 1/2 years of everything being my fault etc. Our Judge told my ex that she hAs figured Her out. I had the court interview my oldest daughter. I figured if no one wanted to. Listen to what I had to say maybe they would listen to what really happened from my 10 year old. The judge did and it was a game changer on my behalf.

[@kristinamartin7056]

How much time has to pass inorder for the court to see the truth?

[@fionam3735]

Narcissists love conflict. He couldn’t care less how it effects our daughter it gives him the perfect supply. Yes he talks a great game but his actions tell a different story.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Unfortunately, we don't all have the best motives, GraceKelly. You have learned this firsthand. Thank you for being there for your child, no matter what and even if.

[@pamelapap]

Record everything. Keep communication thru text to display to the judge his narc tendencies. Get your children into therapy. Always keep your cool with the narc. Go into therapy yourself. When dealing with the narc in front of a judge have your lawyer ask “do you think/feel it’s important that both parents are important to a child’s life? Narc will build himself up. Then have the lawyer say “isn’t it true that you don’t let Grace talk to your daughter the night you have her?” See you give them something to build them up then give the judge the truth. Always stick to evidence to show the abuse.

[@lynn4460]

Non custodial mother's day is October 28th!

[@RupyAvaani]

Grace Kelly omg this is what is happing to me right now 😔😔😔😔😔💯

[@lukemiles1711]

Same goes for me the other way around. And I'm a man, so am bound to lose to this narcissist in court.

[@lisakaplan9433]

I am so happy I pursued seeking full custody. It was one of the scariest moments I thought I would never get through but I kept pushing and thankfully my guardian angel helped and the court saw. It took me so many years of dealing with a self centered "father" feeling entitled that because he was blood and on the birth certificate that he can be a whenever father. I always tried to encourage a relationship and avoid the court but unfortunately it could not be done. Mama bear had enough💪 I love my girl and would do it all over again. Good luck to all the Moms, Dads and anyone going through this and that truely deserve to protect their rights for their cub(s).

[@vanessarosas728]

Can you pls tell me the process you had to go through

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lisa Kaplan, thank you for supporting all parents who love their children. And thanks for being at Live On Purpose TV.

[@lisakaplan9433]

@@vanessarosas728 I petitioned full custody with vistation through the court on my own. Unless they're crazy & you don't feel comfortable unsupervised, having vistation is important. They don't want to alienate the parent. He got served by a sheriff😀 we had a court date set up. I went in with no lawyer but I did my homework prior. I would definitely seek a legal advice and you can do so for free as a consultation. The first meeting is with a mediator they make no decisons. My Daughter at the time was 7 so she had to speak with a lawyer because they feel at this age she is old enough to have her voice and see where she wants to be. Then the second visit we talk about how she feels etc. So he was late and then fought with our Daughter's lawyer. She agreed during our meeting for me to have full custody and he can still be involved but not when he feels like it! Thankfully it did not go to a trial. You definitely need a lawyer and or represent yourself but you better be strong and know your stuff. The courts sometimes do more damage without even knowing the full story. They see two ppl who can lay down but can't deal with one another so in their eyes too bad you deal with each other no matter what. I learned through my unhappy journey that I didn't have to tolerate this behavior especially for my child. I wish you all the best and or someone you know going through this. Sorry for the book.

[@anitramoore9514]

Lisa Kaplan shared custody is the thing in states and my attorny said it is rare to see full custody and my ex only wants the kids 4 days a month anyway on weekends of course because him nor his mistress want to help with schooling. We go to court and they may not have a choice. You can’t control how they treat the kdis and the courts don’t care sadly. All we have control over is how they feel in our homes

[@lisakaplan9433]

@@anitramoore9514 If your ex only wants once a week then you should have full custody. Your taking care of all of their needs 24/7 and they're the visitors which are often unreliable. I refuse to deal with co parenting if I'm the only one present and trying. It's sad for the kids and what they must feel as they get older does affect many aspects in there life. No matter what don't give up. I wish you and your kids all the best❤🙏😊

[@youmakemehappy7]

I needed to hear this. ❤ Thank you. It is so hard to do this, but knowing that it negatively and directly effects my child to be hateful and resentful, is reason enough to respond with love. Plus, I just keep telling myself that I hope karma takes care of the part that I am no longer holding myself responsible of trying to do myself. I just want my son happy, safe, & loved.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

That is just beautiful, Sara Ferguson. I hope you feel the weight off your shoulders. Awesome.

[@kristenmentasti4192]

I’m right there with you, Sara.

[@youmakemehappy7]

@@kristenmentasti4192 ugh, I'm so sorry :(

[@youmakemehappy7]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV awww thank you so much!! 😊 it's hard, but my son's sweet face makes it all a little sister as long as he is happy! 😊

[@chrisfree8309]

I'm in a situation where I love my wife and have absolutely no animosity towards her, but she wants to utterly destroy me. I wish she would just be civil and we could go through our divorce in a peaceful manner.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Chris Free, sounds like she is hurting and acting out. I wish you the best.

[@befree9579]

When a women want's war and not peace prepare urself Chris. Spend time on google / utube and get best lawyer.

[@KB-yq6hq]

My ex bf is doing that to me I wish he’d just be civil it’s only hurting the children!! 😓

[@buttermonkey33]

Cov narcs will say this sometimes. Not you but they do because they put it on the mother via gas lighting and chaos and psychological abuse. A cov narc abuses the mom and she needs to protect her baby at all costs because if thinks ok to abuse the mom and got arrested, what will he do to the baby in the future?

[@leonardelisha8990]

Thank you for this Tip! Its all about Love, Forgiveness, and Teaching a child how to genuinely love both her parents regardless of the atmosphere in parents relationships

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So true!

[@CherieFlemingHorrigan]

My situation is so incredibly painful and unjust. I do love and forgiveness. The only issue is the step-mom in the children’s lives has brainwashed them to believe she is their real mom. There is so much to this story I should write a book. Thank you for these videos!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

What a challenge Cherie - not at all what you originally planned right? Glad you are finding the videos helpful, and I'm honored to be on your team. DrPaul

[@asmaa7447]

Cherie LaVerne Keeping u in my prayers Chose love and spend quality time with ur kids call them hug them, you are the mother no one will take that away when they are happy or sad they will come running to u because u are home .

[@louragalvan6420]

Loved your video .. my child custody evaluator is coming over this sunday ... my daughter was not returned to me after a summer visit about 4years ago ... I do sometimes feel like if I hate this person for what he did to me and also to my daughter because my daughter was just getting to know him ... he has been lying to the courts for so long and always talks bad about me to my daughter even his mother tells her I'm a bad mother because I gave her away .. I have 4 other daughters .. I would never give my babies away .. they are my everything I have been a single mom and have never given up on my other one ..... this Sunday is a big day for me ... I'm so glad I found this video god bless🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤❤....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Loura Galvan, good luck!

[@Synthalog]

This is a big business under the "In The Best Interest of the Children" tagline.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Synthalog, I don't think it was intended to be that way, but I can see how it has evolved.

[@hiaslayer]

“The state must declare the children to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of Liberty and almost any deprivation” - Adolf Hitler It was exactly intended like that….

[@heidigrove3986]

Thank u so much for that eye- opening perspective. I am dealing with a hostile custody dispute with my ex slinging mud and isolating our son from me. I suffer from anxiety and depression which make coping with stress hard and can make acting productively nearly impossible at times. I have been losing hope of being ALLOWED to PARENT my child. Untrue accusations and hasty hearings behind my back have left me in the "every other weekend" category and have deeply affected the court's perception of me. Your videos got me out of my pity and despair and back on track with a positive, encouraging and logical solution. Our son's wellbeing really is the most important factor to consider. Instead of trying to disprove all my ex's allegations, I'll take the high road and stay with my original course. I want a new life and DO NOT want to interfere with or deny my son's bond with his father. I'm letting go of the animosity and fear and control and embracing "the loving response." Thank u SO MUCH, words can't describe the RELIEF and COMFORT your videos have given me.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Heidi Grove, such a difficult situation, I know you can handle it and do your best for your son.

[@haffmichellel4638]

I know a spell man who can help you

[@BleddyBear81]

How to win: be mom.

[@Knittingmylifeaway]

That's right. Be mom. Take them to the doctor. Keep track of what's going on at school. Be available emotionally to the child... listen to them talk about school and friends etc. Pay for stuff. Teach them, take care of them, do what you need to do to provide all their needs. Dads can do this too.

[@cheleftb]

Truth thank u

[@k.b.s4703]

@@Knittingmylifeaway exactly. Sadly women are more nurturing and care more for the children. Naturally. Theres witches out there but the majority are nurturing

[@justiceforourkidsorganizat8436]

@@k.b.s4703 check out my videos. I'm in a custody nightmare kzbin.info/www/bejne/nIe5Z5Jsmt9nkJY

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Daniel Rice, mom's don't win 100% of the time. The majority, yes, but I have seen fathers awarded custody also.

[@SasukeUchiha-xy4vj]

I've lost everything after my daughter's been gone. I need to climb out this hole but have no direction or assistance. I lost it all

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. This is a heavy burden to carry.

[@happyonetoo9850]

I think what he is trying to say is,...to show love towards the other parent,...(don't have to feel it) ...for example,...in court or in front of lawyers ,say things like I use to love her/him, care for her/him,...I trusted her/him,...though they themselves taught me to do otherwise... They are a good parent,...though I am concerned with ...their lies or games or whatever they do. I am concerned with some of the things our child says that (the other parent has said) I am concerned with how the other parent seems to break signed agreements at will, as it doesn't gave the child a solid base. Show love first,..then....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, Happyone too. Show love and state your feelings.

[@Grandmaster_Squirrel]

Thank you I’m going through this right now. My previous partner is threatening me with lawyers and trying to boss me around. I said go for it, get a lawyer…

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Squirrel, it just wastes a lot of time and money. Wish you the best.

[@soul832006]

I have a difficult situation. My ex was arrested on domestic violence charges and barred from coming into contact with my son and I. My son has disclosed further examples of abuse and mistreatment. We have been separated since last November. She initially declined the offer for a contact center and wanted to send videos to my son. This was upsetting him and he rarely asks about his mum now. He only mentions the abuse when talking about her. He is safe with my parents whilst I work shift work and I now have a loving partner with 2 kids. She is very supportive of my son and we want to live together as a blended family soon. I have chosen an excellent school for my son to start in next year and he is completing his preschool with lots of love and support from my parents. He will be living back with my partner and I full time in a few months. I feel conflicted because I now don't want my son to have contact with his mum because of how it triggers his trauma. So I have requested additional time to consult with his psychologist before making any decisions about supervised contact. She is facing many criminal charges for the extensive abuse of my son and I. Will it work against me if I disagree to the contact on the basis that it triggers his trauma? Will that hurt any custody battle?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Best to have it backed up by a psychologist - that the trauma is triggered by contact with his mom. Hope that makes sense, not just you saying it, but you being supported.

[@micheller5153]

Love wins always

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Absolutely, Michelle R! Thank you for the simple yet profound reminder.

[@mikejw58]

Wow. Amazing. When I read some of the comments here that say love doesn’t work, right away I say to myself “they’re the bad one”. You are exactly right right. Thank you sir for your prospective. Well said

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mike JW, glad to have you at the channel.

[@caligold8978]

It's hard to choose love wit all the pain.....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes it is Cali Gold - and it is a rare choice. I love the way this single choice can heal us and empower us to move forward. Thanks for watching! DrPaul

[@caligold8978]

+Live On Purpose TV my case is kinda weird ... My ex wife keeps calling the cops on me for little reasons. I'm not abusive either Zz

[@KraziAnnRKissed]

I have made some mistakes, I've talked about court only because my kids asked if they will need to go. I told them I'm not sure and not to worry about it. I have also said how their father hurt me- to my daughter, not my son's but it doesn't matter. I don't want her to take my feelings and make them hers. I just saw her do that and I'm sick with myself that I did. I keep trying the love angle with him but he doesn't seem interested. I just want my kids to be kids and have a good education in a safer school then their current one. I don't want them to choose but they keep saying they have to. They don't! My daughter has freak outs and panic attacks before she leaves my house (she's 10) to go back and I feel like I'm a bad person to make her go. She's even expressed self harm when going back which she is seeing a therapist for. I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid for them and how angry they are and how much they want to hurt themselves. It's unfair. I've been unfair by even talking about their father. I can't control him or his feelings only my own. Thank you for your videos, I'm really trying to not win in court, but help they be more equipt with dealing with their feelings and stress.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are putting the kids first and that is admirable. Let them express their feelings and I am glad you are answering their questions.

[@MichaelBrown-lw5zh]

The advice he's giving, should be given to the judge. I going through a simple separation, but it was the judge that chose to pick on parent, and destroy the other one, while at the same time raking in the title 4 funding. It's th corrupt judges that should be addressed. If you're not talking about that, you're not saying shyt!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Michael Brown, sorry that you have had a bad experience.

[@Onlinesully]

Hello out there This man is saying choose love over hate in the case of a custody battle and to increase your chances of winning. He is right and it is a very important message. But there is a much more important matter here. Court is a terrible place to resolve family matters. No matter what you have done to each other, you were once a unit or a family and even now you are a unit of some sort. Strive your best to resolve the matters without courts. It all seems like such a sensible idea to have the courts sort it out when your in family trouble. Court is no place for a family. Even if court orders go your way, it really doesn't fix life. There is always going to be a very broken or hurt parent, maybe two hurt people. Mediation and discrete help is the best best way to go. Try to even do that before ever going to court. I say all this because I've been there. It all went my way in courts but it resolved nothing. Please avoid courts every time. It is a personal and private matter and try to resolve it as best that you can together or with a good mediator.

[@Onlinesully]

Try to avoid words like battle or war. And there is no winning or losing. It is about compromising and finding a way to continue living well for your child(ren), you, and your ex-partner or spouse. There is a lady who was lucky enough to find a really positive way forward for herself and her ex and 2 children. She has a KZbin channel called "spirit forest". She and her ex and her kids share camping weekends etc. yes they are lucky they are able to do that.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Brian O'Sullivan, I agree, court is not a good place to decide what is best for our familier.

[@christelc2783]

Thank you for reminding us about choosing love :-) Unfortunately when I spoke like that to the social worker, she took it as a sign of weakness, almost perceived as the kind of mother who put her husband before her kids, and they failed to understand that I was trying to keep the peace in order to keep my children emotionally safe. I was very proactive but I also had to use wisdom at the same time. Today I have taken the matter to court, and hopefully cafcass and the judge will see through it, I will be representing myself and he will probably have his solicitor but it's never easy to fight against a narcissist :-(

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Christel .O, communication can be difficult, when one person takes what we say in a way that we did not mean it. This is why it is great to clarify and tell her exactly what you mean. Good luck in court.

[@sondranewhouse2850]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV 😊

[@zacharymckenzie4886]

I haven’t been allowed to see my daughter in over 3 years, but I have to feel compassion for the fact that mom is sick. I’m about to file an ex parte to keep her safe while she gets help, but it’s caused me to almost lose everything and I totally understand what he is saying. It use to cause me countless sleepless nights. But I totally agree with this. Hate is wrong.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Zachary Mckenzie, I am happy for you that you will be able to see your daughter again.

[@moriahjoi]

This is something so twisted in our courts! We're told to let go of the past, that the judge has heard it all so doesnt care, move on, and choose love. That's how these kids end up abused or dead. Me putting my kids best interest first includes protecting them! I have full custody with supervised visitation for dad because I didn't stop fighting for what my kids deserve.. and that's my love and safety!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hansen Home, each case is individual, this is general advice. There are always exceptions.

[@garnetandgold07]

You are 💯% correct! Most courts treat children (even some as old as 17) as though they are mere property with absolutely no right to feel safe in the home. MANY parents have fought valiantly to protect their children from physical, emotional and sexual abuse only to have the courts and evaluators accuse them of "false allegations", "Parental Alienation Syndrome" and being an "unfriendly parent". Many courts give liberal, unsupervised visits to the abusive parent and some even award full custody. The children end up dead, either by suicide or at the hands of their abusive parent, or traumatized for a lifetime. I went through 17 years of pure hell trying to protect my daughter. It wasn't until she aged out (18) and filed a restraining order against him that things turned around. Her dad took it all the way to trial, was finally found guilty and she was awarded her restraining order. Imagine being forced to go to trial and get an OOP against your own parent just to finally feel safe! Should have never gotten that far. 5 years if trauma therapy and a lifetime of looking over her shoulder. All because nobody would listen to, validate, believe or care for her "best interests". Totally disgusting! Glad you were able to protect your children. Most parents aren't that lucky. Blessings to you.

[@marlacarlson2586]

I agree the Courts are a concern. Good job Mama Bear! Keep protecting the Baby Bears.

[@kach069]

So funny because I knew all this before even watching the video. This makes me so happy to know I am in the right fpr wanting love over hate. Not only for my daughter, but even my soon to be ex. I truly want her to be happy as much as our beautiful daughter. Thank you for the video! I’ll let you know how it goes on a few months.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, D K. I'm glad we're on the same page, too! It's always best to choose love. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

[@BlessedToBeSaved333]

How did it go?

[@alexandrasalvagni6269]

“Clear your mind of animosity and hate” except my ex husband left me for another woman and impregnated her at the same time as I was. But, yes act totally sane and loving towards the other parent, lol! I don’t hate anyone. But I will say that it’s unrealistic to not have negative feelings for a person who destroyed you. I won sole custody anyways and my child is happy and healthy :)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am glad your child is happy and healthy, Alexandra Salvagni. I can only imagine how difficult of an experience that was. From my observations and personal life, I have found forgiveness to be freeing and serves you more than the other person. Thanks for being at Live On Purpose TV.

[@williamshirley6263]

Winning sole custody and making it to where another parent doesn't see their kids is not something to be happy about. That is a tragedy that child lost it's father.

[@Alex_Rdz90]

My son is about to be 12, he feels the love and attention way more by me and my family vs his mother love, it’s sad. The mother is more into her own personal life happiness then my sons. Im currently getting a lawyer, goal is to have the custodial position instead of “50/50”. But I’m seeing so much negativity on fathers actually getting it here in KZbin. He wants to live with me. I’m going to do all I can to make him happy. It’s just tough. The mother hates my guts so much only because we’re not together and I do more for my son, she has a lot of hate in her heart.. thanks for this video, showing me too keep my cool through all this that’s about to come.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rdz Fam, I wish you luck.

[@pavlekovacevic5787]

Did you win?

[@MrMrmetro]

Very true. Excellent advise! I have done this. It's been an eight-year project (so far, we are not done yet!) for me and I did exactly what he is saying. Here is the glitch: If your ex is a borderline personality disorder or a narcissist, there are some other factors to consider. Most importantly, you must recognize that the courts are biased towards women and most (not all) women use the system to their advantage. Next, you must know that these types of disordered folks are VERY effective at manipulation and painting you in a corner. They are very effective at character assassination, and if you are not very careful, you will have the court and even your own lawyer against you.........no matter how loving you have been. Your child will most likely be the only one that knows the truth as to who is the more fit parent. Then it becomes an issue of timing!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

MrMrmetro - yes, there are definitely considerations that can make this more challenging - which makes it all the more important to stick to our principles! Thanks for watching. DrPaul

[@andsun]

So true about the "glitch"!

[@lawandstreeter3456]

I'm having that "glitch" with my son's dad being a narcissist. I want to move back to GA where my "family" is. He is requesting sole custody just because he wants him. He also just had another baby and I believe wants me to pay child support that's why he wants sole custody. I already had joint custody in place here is filling for sole custody. I even presented a schedule for him and there was no compromise. When asked what would be my availability to have my son he didn't have one in place.

[@lunabluecreations6447]

MrMrmetro I agree. Courts have notoriously been biased toward women, and in many cases wrongly so. Whichever parent is the best at rearing the children, I agree. Whether it be Dad or Mom. However I have been on an odyssey for nearly 10 years now, the first year-and-a-half he saw the kids maybe 45 days out of that time. Because I would search for him and pretty much make him have time with the children not for him but for the kids. The fact is, I'm the one who's been painted into a corner. At one point there was an issue with him, I chose for the children's sake to stop pursuing custody. The fact is that the children have done what the evaluator here has said, they know what he's done however he has the money. They get to do things that they want to do. No one's really watching their day-to-day, hour-by-hour activities. As one of my children said I know he's an a****** but he's still my dad. I understand that and I agree good bad or indifferent we are their parents. However it cuts so deep when you're the one who didn't do the wrong things, you're the one who has run around with that virtual mattress to catch your children when all he's been doing in my opinion is breaking them to get revenge on me. The most hurtful part is our kids are going to have to be dealing with this stuff forever. The Fallout from all this. I'm an adult, I can handle a lot, the kids should not have to. So I have stepped back in a major way. If you can tell me where I can find an actual person who's going to do this kind of thing where I'd be able to pay them as I go along that'd be great. Someone who's interested in what's appropriate for the kids. This situation severely impacted me, PTSD, anxiety and stress fear shame. I am dealing with it, I refuse to allow myself to stay down. My oldest daughter from a previous relationship told me they'll be back Mom when they completely broken tail be back. That has happened and I'm always here for them. I'm going to end with this when we got together seeing how he was with his ex-wife should have been a major indicator but I missed disregard it really the signs we promised each other we never use our children against each other if we chose to split up. I stayed true to that promise I didn't use our kids I didn't go for full custody where he went for full custody I was asking for 50/50 because the kids need both Mom and Dad good pattern different as I said before. But the hell he rain down on me for not wanting to stay with him is very painful. When our divorce was Final in 2013 that evening when he was scheduled to drop off the kids as they went upstairs he told me if it weren't for you we'd still be married we separated in 2008 for him to make such a statement shows just how much animosity he had for me still has for me and the Revenge he was willing to take. Good luck with your Odyssey sir

[@8-biternie944]

But if the child says to the court that the dad is more of a fit parent than the mother, then they'll just put the child in foster care, Family Court will NOT give a child to the father under ANY circumstances, once you get to Family Court, you may as well kiss your kids goodbye

[@tazmaniandawson4853]

Sir, I like what’s coming from your views. I appreciate your advice. I have this mentality you speak of. You’ve made things feel better for me here. Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

TAZMANIAN DAWSON, you are very welcome, thanks for watching.

[@djhogan65]

I ended the relationship because she was committing Domestic Violence against me. After that she stalked me, made false allegations against me, she tried to destroy my career. I went no contact except for when I could spend time with my daughter, I would not discuss anything else. That was the closest thing I could do to a loving response, and there was very little conflict. My access was regularly denied and interfered with, but I still saw my daughter about every 3rd weekend. I took the pain to try to shield my daughter from conflict. My ex re-married. I was glad, maybe she would move on in life. It is her world and I dont want to be part of it. I didnt even know the guys surname. I just had to trust and hope that my ex loved my daughter and would protect her and care for her. My ex and new husband neglected and abused my daughter for at least 2 years. I could do nothing about it without starting "a war". Finally it escalated to the point that my daughter was at risk of serious harm, I had to intervene. I contacted Child Safety, they did nothing. Finally I took my daughter into my full time care against her mother's will. There were no court orders or parenting plans in place, so I didnt do anything illegal. War has been the result, and because of their actions my ex and her husband have been charged with unlawful stalking, and a Domestic Violence order put on my ex to protect me. So far, Family Law Court has removed my daughter and sent her back to her mothers place with no real protection. I have been utterly villified by the court for taking action to protect my child from harm. Her solicitor and the Court are utterly destroying me. They are all destroying my daughter, parental alienation is in full swing. I am still not waging war, and I am being utterly beaten, and my daughter is being ripped apart, and I am powerless to protect her. If the other party is determined to make war, sometimes there is nothing you can do except refuse to actively participate in actions that hurt your child😥

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Let your child know you are always there for her, always.

[@medgineeugene1241]

I agree completely! I wish someone like you would help to correct the ineptness of the “justice” system because they are almost completely unqualified to make decisions in the best interest of the children. This inspires fear in the parent who is inclined to choose love. Also, this makes it easy for a narcissist to win cases like this. Thank you for the work you do🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for such kind words, Medgine Eugene. Agreed - everyone's focus should be on the children.

[@bosborne24]

I wish i could have you as my child evaluator evaluator, the long term damage. My children are in very bad situation only because of her poor job. And still im powerless to help my own children.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Besa Osborne, good luck, I wish the best for you.

[@traciebrown8455]

My child’s father is a narcissist and he studies me and when he doesn’t get what he wants he is very threatening to me

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

That is draining, Tracie Brown. Hopefully you can limit your time with him.

[@aracelijuarez6516]

Omg I can relate...

[@lynn4460]

You need a legal domestic abuse coach.

[@jenniferc.2514]

??? Where

[@florencethompson4161]

My 24 y/o son is in a battle with his ex. They were never married and now his ex is controlling when he can see their daughter. Even though their child has lived exclusively with her daddy since July, and he has been the primary caregiver of his daughter since she was born, the mommy has come and taken her away because her new boyfriend wants to be the new daddy of my son's daughter. She is hiding the child and refusing to let my son see his daughter, or even know what town she is living in. We've had this child here with my son for nearly her entire life and now we are so worried about her. With them never being married, we are at a loss as to how to save this sweet baby girl from her vindictive mother. She begs and screamed for us not to let her mommy take her the last time we were allowed to see her, and those screams will haunt me forever. I hear her desperate cries for her daddy and her Mawmaw to please don't let mommy take me, don't let her shut that door Mawmaw, please Mawmaw don't let mommy take me. I have it all on video as does a friend. It was so awful that my friend started recording. This child was downright terrified of her mom and new boyfriend. What can my son do to save his daughter? He only makes $300 a week, working full time, so he can't really afford an attorney at the moment. We are all devastated from this. :(

[@florencethompson4161]

Their daughter just turned three years old last week.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

VinTroFlo, Go to the courthouse and find out how to start a parenting plan. See if there are attorneys in your area that do pro bono work and can help. They will know the laws of the state and how to navigate your court system.

[@Jay-hr3rh]

These are the first people who will say, " I love my children". I have to keep them safe. 🤔

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I understand what you are saying, John. I have heard that said when what they really mean is they want to hurt the other person. Thank you for watching.

[@shesaghost9920]

My ex husband is this person and does nothing for all 5 of his kids

[@rattyboy-private8744]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV u are so full of stuff I can smell it through the video. You strike me as the kind of guy who would let kids go off with a 5 arrests/1 conviction DUI mom with no valid driver's license because Dad has a problem with mom passing out with the kids.

[@beanDoggins]

@@rattyboy-private8744 you might need to pay attention to what he says more then. Him and the judge can't afford to be emotionally invested in every case and then let the emotions dictate the recommendation or custody verdict. They have a blanket analysis for every case because there's just too many people with these problems. It is impossible for them to be investigators, Therapists, and policemen at the same time.

[@rattyboy-private8744]

@@beanDoggins Too many kids are forced into unsupervised visits with a drug addict (which includes the drug ethanol) simply because kids are never believed unless they say it's sexual abuse. These 2 dudes are EXACTLY the kind of people who would disregard a kid's testimony.

[@gsrc6988]

Needed this , calling the courts today

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Eatgood Smokegood, good luck.

[@gsrc6988]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV really needed this type of positivity, hell on earth going through this , 3 weeks only seen my boys 2 times , smh , it’s a cat and dog battle and I’ve had to step back and be mindful and like he said with love because my boys are my world. But I won’t burden you with my burdens , thank you

[@nonanamemcgee884]

You're amazing. Thank you for saying everything I need to hear right now.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You've got this Moana Banana! Stick to principle and that will always create the best possible outcomes even if you go through hard things to get there. Honored to be on your team. DrPaul

[@copterzgame3434]

My life has become a chaos. the havoc a vindictive ex can cause is unimaginable until it happens. Ive alienated myself from everyone just so they cant be used as tools by the narcissistic ex. i feel bad for not being strong enough to keep the court drama separate from the rest of my life. sorry world for not having the brains to keep up. sorry for not being better.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Copterz Game, I hope some of the videos on the channel help to alleviate the chaos.

[@helenatroy33]

I had to co parent with my ex husband/ my narcisstic abuser. I never deviated from being child focused at all times, and demonstrating respect for him as her father. I sought remedy at all times. No matter his behavior, no matter how belligerent he was, there was never a fight for me, as I ALWAYS STAYED IN HONOUR AND ALWAYS SOUGHT REMEDY, AT ALL TIMES. Let that sink in. You are amazing sir, thank you for educating others.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

What a great example, Helena Phoenix. Some people don't think it is possible, but it is. Thank you for commenting.

[@christinewarren8134]

Girl yes. I be wanting to kick his azzzzzz

[@caseymyslive7632]

Micque I know I've promised you before but this time I really mean it I will be there for you no matter what I'm glad you are hinting this stuff to me. I love you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Casey Myslive, do you think this video might help you? "How To Say Sorry For Hurting Someone You Love" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZpqxnKGZbbenpcU

[@catwilk8213]

But what if the mom is alienating the kids from their father. Making him look like a horrible monster to everyone! when truthfully he's the most sweet gentle giving kind person you ever meet . but because she can talk an Eskimo out of an igloo she gets whatever she wants . She's great at gaslighting manipulating and Lies straight to your face. that includes playing with the children's emotions and pinning them against their father which makes him look like a terrible person.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

That's the kind of stuff that comes up all the time in these cases. Your best bet is always to adhere to principle, which allows you to come through with your integrity intact regardless of what other less scrupulous people might (or will) do. DrPaul

[@liamnevio823]

C W

[@johnmoses9618]

Happen to me with my son but for now I have him almost joint custody with I am working on to make it better for our relationship. It's sick to see a child turn against you .But it is better now but for 3 months I didn't see him and he wash brainwash .So it depends on how long you go without seeing your child or children .Good luck

[@Bruceallmiighty]

Dealing with this now

[@timwilliams1427]

Thats 100% my issue And I am loosing bad every time she gets a new man.. My 2 oldest kids hate me but my 2 younger kids love me like no other but not for long I already know its coming.

[@astasna]

Thanks for the guidance, I haven't heard it like this even if I was lookin for answers. Now I found a good one.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad I could help!

[@jocelynmircar2529]

As a 14 year old that has lived with this for 7 years I still wonder why they don’t take our thoughts in this situation. It is our life’s after all you never know if one parent could be worse then the other but they act as if they don’t in court.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jocelyn Mircar, as you get older, you should be able to have more input.

[@galenyoung8349]

@@motocouple86 a childs love isnt for sale. Obviously you still havent learned anything.

[@bubbasue5212]

My 2 year old GrandPrincess is now being kept from my son, although hes had her every week end since an infant. If he gets standard visitation it's one week end per month. How can she have a strong, meaningful relationship with him that way? He wants to parent, not just be a play buddy. Would he need to file for full custody to just get week ends? She is no doubt wondering where her Daddy is, when her Pa Pa and I am....it is heartbreaking.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching, Bubba Sue 52. Your son's situation is heartbreaking. I am unable to give specific legal advice, unfortunately. We do have more videos in our child custody playlist, if you would like more ideas: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd. As for developing a strong, meaningful relationship with his daughter, I have 2 quick things to say: maximize his time with her. Find out what she likes to do, and do that with her, as well as outings, learning activities, and anything else that can develop a bond - even if that means sitting at the kitchen table playing a card game. Here is a good video on that: "How Does Play Benefit A Child's Development?" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/bZqTaXewbKyIfMk. The second thing is to not say anything negative about her mother. That will cause confusing emotions in his daughter, and she will not know who to trust: her Mom, because Dad says things bad things about her, or her Dad, because he says mean things about her Mom.

[@willchacon5888]

You Awesome.....i am a Dad and i Love You... I love my x wife and her boyfriend..and i love spinach....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Well you're a very loving fellow me me - hope you find it helpful to watch. DrPaul

[@johnnyhotrod2608]

will chacon.....lmao! You got it right! A+

[@garrimic3]

Fixing to go through a divorce myself with four kids. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. Instead of being pulled back and forth my brother and I were left to ourselves. One parent went one way and the other parent went the other way. My wife at the moment is trying to explain to me what I will pay child support, alimony,etc. I just told her I would let the court decide. It’s difficult to talk to someone who is just telling me what I will have to do. Not to mention how time I will get with the kids. Hoping that something is going to change for the better. Such as not actually going through a divorce.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

garrimic3, I hope things work out for you and your wife is willing to talk again.

[@garrimic3]

Live On Purpose TV ... thank you

[@Onlinesully]

Garrimic You said something so so very important in your email, that you are hoping something will change and maybe not divorce at all. This is so promising. May i softest something that is hard to do but may be something very valuable. Write a letter from the heart and soul to your wife. Write about the good things you have done together. Write about the positive things about her. Write about that you would love to resolve this all in some way. And that you will consider her suggestions that she may have. Write that it would be just great for everyone of ye could figure a solution. Sorry if I sound preachy. It is not meant to be but rather it is intended to be helpful and hopeful.

[@monicanicoleleeify]

My God I'm in tears listening to this you've just described my situation entirely. My baby's daddy has caused so much hurt and now trying to take my child from me it sucks me and my child are suffering

[@Lisal3e]

Crazy right 😔 I’m going thru the exact same thing he’s a straight up narcissist he’s always been very intelligent which makes things even worse

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry, MONICA NICOLE. I wish you the best in your custody case.

[@melissajohnson1082]

Same here currently going through it

[@Hiphopandfriends]

If both choose love you don’t even need court. I have a baby mamma from hell.... all she chooses is hate and evil. I told her love .... I pray she heals

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

HipHop & Friends Engerman, would that e nice, to not involve the court? I pray she heals, too.

[@debbiegreen9689]

Thank you so much, you just made me feel better about myself & my newborn baby father. Now I’ll do my best to choose love over Hates which my heart has been leading to. You are not a pastor or a priest but you sounded like one and saved me for now... thank you!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Debbie Green, you can do this.

[@illfather7066]

Idk if ur still around but I love that you showed me a childs perspective.....my 11 yr old son was to little to remember me being with his mom and hes always been a daddy's boy...I got a letter today saying his mom wants to move him out of state to live a new man after already telling me and my son he can stay with me....so this caught me waaay off gaurd ...after a morning of shaking and crying cuz I know my son will be heart broken if this happens as will i....I was going to tell him about what moms trying...I get him 3 nights and she gets 5 and he calls me nearly everyday hes not here ....but I think I'm gonna wait...he dont need to worry like I do...tho i want him to write a letter to the judge but it can wait...thanks

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ill fATheR, I hope you are able to maintain closeness with your son. Maybe you can move also or talk to his mom.

[@illfather7066]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV that's good advice but I promised my son we would never move cuz his mom moved once a year....we've been split(never married) 9 years and she still acts like it was 9 days ago...I managed to contact her son in California hes 25 and in the Navy...Hes gonna write a letter to the judge for me and she only gave me 2 weeks notice and no reason for the move tho it's just another guy my sons never even met....I'm gonna wait til next week to see if shes gonna go through with this as far as trying to move with him because she has to sign him up for school somewhere and she has to give me more than 2 weeks notice.. so I'm playin cool now but I'm going full Throttle on her if need be...i dont think she has a chance in hell the more i think about it....however if i lost ....I'd seriously think about heading closer i guess....but easier said than done

[@tarapotamus]

absolutely 100% on point, and you are very personable. Great video, thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching Tara! DrPaul

[@jessehurtado5625]

I understand all of this and amazing advice. The mom has violated each of these arguments. I follow everything by the books and even the mediator has noted that they don’t see why I don’t deserve 50/50 physical custody. I’ve been fighting for this fair percentage for years now. Why is it that my judge still doesn’t want to grant me my 50/50 physical custody request???? Am I doing something wrong or is my judge being bias???

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I don't know. It really doesn't seem correct. Perhaps another attorney could have a different result.

[@Callie0818]

My ex lied over and over and manipulated the court evaluator. I did many of your recommendations. It is very difficult to divorce a narcissist and a domestic abuser. He still has overnights.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So sorry for what you have gone through, Callie, and are continuing to experience. Thank you for sharing.

[@shanesrshanejr24]

Yes hardest thing I've ever had to face by far

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I wish you the best.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So difficult.

[@blastking2006]

this is my situation my sons mother she lied that she dint know who i was and got me arrested by law enforcement prior to my child being born and it created an immigration problem for me bcs of the arrest . i just got done with immigration and its now 5 years she contacted me early this year that she wanted me to see my son but she did not show up. she has already had someone else sign my sons birth certificate despite the person being from another race . can i still get to see my son

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

The best course for you at this time is to seek legal advice from someone who knows the laws in your state. If you can get a DNA test, you can prove you are the father. Good luck, Eric Iangat.

[@momentswithus7098]

This doesn’t work with Narcissistic people. I’m fighting a battle to win full custody from an abusive man who has beat me countless times in front of our infant. The moment I go no contact with him he finds some one else a few weeks later. It’s been three months now and they have moved together. She has 3 daughters and my 2 year old came with bruises one day after his weekend with his dad.... CPS Is involved now and still this narcissistic man is getting away with things... but I can only trust God. The judge and his lawyer think I’m just jealous but I’m not. They don’t know what it’s like being beat and feel worthless like you should have never been born. I loved my ex but I had to walk away. And I got help from FAC and got a lawyer. So yeah..... his getting away with so much and he still walks away without punishment.... yet I’m here hurting every day because I’m healing from abuse physically emotionally mentally. It hurts yet I have to smile every time I drop my son off... so yeah... it sucks..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Moments With Us, I am very sorry to hear of your situation. I hope you and your child remain safe. It sounds like you will contact law enforcement or CPS if you feel you or your child is threatened, so that is good. Unfortunately the justice system is not perfect. Best wishes to you and thanks for watching.

[@dopedonshortyg6967]

Left to Tell I read, too. Incredible story.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for commenting, Justin Neyform.

[@fredericksaturnine4167]

Choose love not hate and pray that the "evaluator" or God has mercy and doesn't impose their artificial rules on you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Derick Chafton, thanks for your positivity.

[@tonireese1639]

The Best interest IS FOR THE CHILD! Doesn't matter who's wrong(Mom/Dad). Dispike the realiationship, If you reall love your child then that's the MAIN FOCUS. Now days. FosterHomes,GroupHomes,Daycare are all not so Loveable as they tell you. Just think about that for a sec? But the bullcrap aside AND GET YOUR CHILD OUT Or WITH A TRUSTED FAMILY MEMBER. Be there for your SEED! It pay's off in ways untellingly! Thankx for this VIDEO.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes Raw Vera - so important to keep the perspective! Thanks for your comment. DrPaul

[@liamnevio823]

Nice

[@lydiahubbell6278]

I don't believe in letting strangers determine what is "appropriate"--that is my job as a fit, loving parent. I support equal parenting.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lydia Hubbell, I hear you, glad you are on the channel.

[@jessemedina4482]

THANK YOU SO MUCH. Validated what I already know to be absolutely true. Great advice, I wish I could thank you personally for helping me in this dark point of my life.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Done. You are welcome. Glad we can connect.

[@jeffreyashmore9292]

How do you not have conflict when your child is abducted by the other parent? Child was taken out of state with a parenting plan in place and not me or the courts were notified. If there is felons drug addicts being brought around my kid on the mothers side and there is proof on paper of this how can you not have conflict? Your saying don't show emotion even if the circumstances are drastic. I keep hearing don't bash on the mom and that is exactly what I did the first time we went to court not bash on her and it was the wrong way to approach it because I lost custody and it was because I did not bash or was harsh towards the mom but she was bashing me and saying nasty things about me and it got her custody.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jeffrey Ashmore, it sounds like your experience was painful, even though you were trying to do the right thing. Hopefully you can find a lawyer to get the legal advice you need for your state and be a presence in your child's life.

[@stephanieholmes5272]

What if the child brings a case against the other parent, and gets angry at everyone when she can't get out if his world?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Stephanie Holmes, thank you for watching. I am not sure exactly what you mean by "can't get out of this world". I'm unable to give specific legal advice, and would suggest that she or you obtain an attorney to sort things out.

[@stephanieholmes5272]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I was referring to the circles you drew on the board representing, "mom's world" and "dad's world," meaning that at the time, it was a struggle to convince the court that she should not have to have visitation with him. My question is personally irrelevant now, because she is 22 and on her own. However she is probably not the only one. I was just pointing out that it is even more difficult to be loving towards the other parent, for the sake of the child, when doing so makes the child think they are being betrayed.

[@karmasky5610]

I have court tomorrow morning for divorce and custody. He is trying to keep them from me out of spite and have his mother raise them. He’s using my mental illness against me. Please pray for me and wish be the best of luck. Ty

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Karma Sky, I do wish you the best of luck!

[@timwilliams1427]

Thank you. Yea took kids mom to court cause she was not sending my kids for 3 months she attacked me so hard lied so bad but it all sounded so good its bull crap i was with her 12 years so after hearing her say I was from A to Z ,no food ,no close , just all lies then she said my daughter seen my girlfriend of 7 years with a needle. Man i that was so hurt full we have been clean for over 5 years & I also brought my 5 years of test for proof judge did not even look at them . Any ways she said all that in with the mediator so now when I got in front of the judge I could not function , could not talk I was in complete hurt & shock that this women would lie this deep I was with her over 12 years. Again I took her to court she did not take me. She was not guilty of contempt & now she taking me to court & thats in the morning I just hope I can keep my self good & not go in to what ever that was . It was like the judge would ask me a question but id just forget it or go a different direction when I told my side,Man I just really miss my daughter & son this all not fair. Out work rare kidney stones were I have stones every day for rest my life no lawyer . I think I might just walk away soon I cant keep getting abused by this women cause if it hurts me how u think my kids feel????

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hope you can resolve this before you walk away, Tim Williams. Your children need you and it sounds as though you have something to give them - love.

[@jim8937]

Why are we fooling ourselves? Custody goes first to mom, next to foster care, then maybe dad can have them. Facts are facts.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sounds like you have had some exposure to this topic, Jim Richardson. Thank you for watching.

[@justiceforourkidsorganizat8436]

Check out my story.....mom's get done wrong too kzbin.info/www/bejne/nIe5Z5Jsmt9nkJY

[@warrendickens211]

I appreciate you. For this video and there last one. I would've tried to pony out her flaws but you made me see why that is an mistake. And choose love over hate. Easier said than done but that's an important life lesson I took seriously. Everything right now is trying to pull o me to hate. Thank you for clearing up my ignorance on the subject

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Warren Dickens, much of life can be said to be simple, but simple is not easy. Sounds like you are in for the long haul and that will lead to positivity and happiness.

[@huaahhggg9507]

Instead of custody "professionals" expecting heartbroken parents to act careless about the grave issues their children are faced with, custody professionals should understand what parents in situations like this are faced with, especially parents who didn't want this but was forced into it by orders of protection.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

The process is not fun, Jordan McKinnery. It sounds like you have experienced that. I hope your case turns out and you are able to see your son.

[@megananngagnon8252]

The father stole my son. Said I was a bad parent etc. He's has mental problems now. I gave him 50/50 and he took my half. Said I was mental case and I am abuser. I was forced to take a psychological assessment which showed I don't lie, and I don't have mental health issues. But he does. He's committed parental alienation now. He tried to brainwash my son and have him lie in court against my husband stating he spanked him. The charges where dropped. The father of my son raped me in my house. I only met him 15 mins. I have been choosing love and lost my son. The father is revengeful. So now I'm going for sol custody. The love way doesn't work on with People who have NPD.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I wish you the best and hope your son will be able to see what is going on soon. Most kids do as they grow up.

[@stevenwilliams5282]

I agree great video. But what if you been going through a custody battle for 11 years. The children’s mother has pulled out all the stops and keep the children away try to clean multiple child-abuse cases says that the Ila father have mentally and physically abuse the children. In win these issues are being investigated, they are all found to be untrue in that in fact what has been the alleged allegations were even the case at all. But somehow the judge still managed to keep me separated from my children for six months and only giving me two phone calls a week for five minutes apiece because of all these false allegations now we have a evidence Yeary hearing June 18. In which the judge hopefully she will look through and review all 325 pages of my court documentation plus I have many more to show her. I have gone above and beyond to show that I am the bigger person that I can look out for the children and that they have a good living home with me. But Mom tends to put the chair kids in the therapy saying that I mentally mentally abuse them in when I speak to their therapist when I was allowed to I come to find out that they’re talking about what goesIn their household. Mom is been married five times her third marriage was to convicted felon in prison and she has multiple mental issues but I am somehow the crazy one. How can I get this to come to light and get the real facts proven in court

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wow Steven, tough case. Sometimes through all of the craziness the best thing you can do is to keep living your life with integrity. I think in the end that is what will make the biggest difference. DrPaul

[@stevenwilliams5282]

I do live my life with integrity. The children have a beautiful home with my my wife and there little brother. I guess I’m reaching out for a cry for help. How can a father who loves his children with all his heart and would do anything for them be kept away? I think my story needs to be heard and things need to come to light. Not to mention the financial strain. It’s not fair. Sad thing is the children cry and want to be with me and my wife. I’ve reached out to fathers rights and no one seems to care or want to help. In the end the children lose. I don’t want that for them.what I described in my comment is only a little sample. How does this keep happening ?

[@mamaknow8056]

Steven Williams I can relate I am a Mother in a similar situation. I have the mentioned integrity that my ex sees as weakness. It is disheartening to know my child is negatively affected in the bullying regarding other parent. I hurt for my child. Dr Paul, if any way to personally talk with you it is greatly appreciated.

[@derekpowers9019]

if 1 parent wants all the custody and gets granted custody by the judge and dont have the love in there heart to give the other 50/50 all there doing is DESTROYING THERE OWN CHILD IN SEVERAL WAYS. A child a mother to a child is just important as a father to a child..WAKE UP PEOPLE!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Derek Powers, I do believe both parents are important to the development of the child.

[@joelladkins8398]

Thank you for giving me somewhere to focus my energies as all the factors in divorce can be overwhelming and this is the most important one!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Joell Adkins, happy that you found value in the video. Thank you for watching.

[@creativearena]

Till the courts acknowledges emotional and psychological abuse as a criteria also, This is never going to be resolved. Understanding the state of mind of an individual who has lost everything, and all that is left is to Atleast save the kids will fight with animal instincts because it is the home run - do or die situation How about the evaluators who are in a better state of mind don’t judge based on love and hate but see the passion and work of the parent. Ask questions, redirect the hate and give a platform of trust, love and kindness?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

ladybug, well said. If there is one area that needs more kindness it is this one. The emotions are so raw and the stakes so high.

[@gloriayoung392]

Thank you very much GOD bless your mission LOVE JUSTICE POWER WISDOM Pray for.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks Gloria - honored that you're watching! DrPaul

[@melia.claire]

Am I the only kid watching your channel?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nope. We have many kids watching Live On Purpose TV! We actually have a "Just for kids and teens" playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPCicx6xcJ5ZJzVe9UBlRTQV Hope you go check it out! Thanks for being here.

[@melia.claire]

Yay cool!

[@Gravityfed777]

Wow I’ve been divorced for 4 years and this is the best information I’ve ever been given. Especially the point of how to love. Unreal, keep up the videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Richard, thank you so much for your kind comment - so glad you found the video to be helpful. Wishing you the best as you move forward! DrPaul

[@olgamariavillota]

My ex ex a narcissist And they’re blaming me for an abuse I didn’t Do. I had pictures videos of my son coming home crying but my lawyer did nothing. Finally when he had broken bones they say it out to be me instead of dad! When baby all he knew was me !

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

olga villota, I am sorry, perhaps you can get a different attorney.

[@khloenaidoo2115]

I've been fighting with my narc ex for several years for custody eventually he never obeyed the court order and just made it difficult for me too my child. I let go my daughter because this custody battle was destroying her eventually he remarried and got a child from her and he is doing the same ugly thing to her what he done to me. He is alienating the kids from the mother's. How can I win another battle with him breaking the rules. I Have recordings from his mom stating his is unfit and mentally traumatizing the kids were they are so afraid of him.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Khloe Naidoo, this is so sad, I hope you can find a lawyer who is familiar with the laws of your state and get some advice. You might try talking to the other mother and compare your stories.

[@charlestheos8954]

This is so right and it is what resonates with me,, however how do I choose this higher path when the other side doesn't play ball,,,

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Charles Theos, think about the future and how you want to be remembered long-term. Playing games or doing the right thing because you love your child?

[@adrianjanssens7116]

Thank you for this excellent video. Just what I was looking for. Cheers from Canada.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hello Adrian Janssens, from Canada. I am heading up there to speak in September.

[@anitramoore9514]

Sometimes we want to Work it out and dad doesn’t then what do you do?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Anitra Moore, we can only control ourselves, not others. It would be nice, but we stay centered in what we control.

[@Knittingmylifeaway]

I find that even if you're not trying to win custody, this is so beneficial to your children's self esteem, and to your children's trust and security in YOU...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great point Rachel - yes - you've reminded us that the most important thing is the relationship. Keep the priorities straight! DrPaul

[@pampemberton7450]

Yes I agree with you on that one

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@Kivlor]

Thank you for these amazing videos. Wish I'd found your content much sooner. I grew up in a broken home, and my parents' D was so bad that their attorneys--who had been best of friends--never spoke to each other again after it. More parents need to choose love, and put their kids first when they decide to end a marriage. It's a nightmare for the children.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish all parents could read this and realize the choices they make have far-reaching effects.

[@TragedysHalo]

Basic question. Why does the state have jurisdiction to interfere with such disputes? Simple question I need answered

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kael Griffis, it is the system we have set up as a society to help people who can't agree. In the law, it is looked at as a way to be civil.

[@officialalfyiii3918]

I truly appreciate your video and knowledge. Thank you ! 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Alfred Isibido. Thank you for watching.

[@harichandlal7205]

Love is peace !!!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Harichand Lal, yes it is.

[@lionessdez]

This is great information, I currently am going thru this. He put me in the hospital and physically abused me while we were together. My son is 1 now and we will be going to trial soon. He has had supervised visits the past 6 months. It’s been really hard but I will always choose love for the sake of my child. I appreciate you making this video ♥️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Destinee Tena, I am sorry you went through this but happy that you are out. I am glad you know where to focus now.

[@buttermonkey33]

How are you holding up? Was he ever arrested? This is awful reality for you. And I'm in a similar situation where if he can abuse me he can abuse his child too?

[@violetpowell4750]

It is hard on both side mothers and fathers that could not have visitation rights due to lies deception. Even death threats the only thing I could do is too walk and never look back. Because I was scared off the out come and my friends/family members. We all were/are Christian and have strong believes concerning forgiveness the bible quotation is to forgive one another 77 x 7 which all of us have done. So that we have the peace which passed all understanding. We now see our children off all diversities which has taken 5 decade. we just belief in our God. Nothing is impossible for those you belief and trust in him.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Violet Powell, love your positivity, thank you for sharing part of your journey.

[@2006drz400supermoto]

This video has gave me a great understanding I’ve chosen love not hate my ex wife is choosing hate and she has a suit against me at the moment for 5 things I can prove wrong but it’s very stressful but I’m doing what I can to keep my head up and protect our children safely, positively, as well as truthfully. Thanks again for this video

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dave, Yes! Don't let anyone (including and especially your ex) drag you into a negative hate mode. Hold your ground! You've got this. DrPaul

[@mamaknow8056]

Live On Purpose TV I need to understand how having a love mode wins in court in the end. I think I'm missing something. Dad is negatively affecting our child with bullying with every opportunity. How does one stop the hate mode as I have always composed myself in court and have somehow lost in the end at our hearings. How does one show the court the negative affects on a child from mental abusive situations with other parent. I've heard it's very hard to prove mental abuse issues in court i.e.. parental alienation for example. Your thoughts Dr Paul?

[@gabepearl5661]

I have listened to all the videos on KZbin concerning these batters many times including this one. I know longer hate my ex, I've view her as a rattlesnake, beautiful on the outside but deadly poisonous. It's just her nature. I love my children more than anything in the world and will do anything for them. The question I can't answer is, when is it the right thing to remove myself out of their life. As long as I'm close, my ex makes them miserable, it's constant mind games and emotional abuse. I've spent upwards to a half a million dollars in 5 years on legal fees trying to make their life better. As a whole I have failed, my ex is cunning, beautiful and smart, I am 6'5 and very strong white guy. The magistrate is a extremely heavy set older lady who despises my demographic openly. My ex has a wealthy family with political connections in a podunk county. I would be willing to leave and move far away with an open invitation for my children to come to me at emancipation, is this the right thing? I just don't know. I know the amount of anger and conflict they feel on a daily basis from their mother is overwhelming.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Gabe Pearl, I hear what you are saying. Talk to your kids about it first so they know you aren't abandoningthem.

[@aubrimusser]

Thank you so much I’ve been through so much and I been trying to do the right thing but your words are inspiring

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Aubri, I can only imagine what a burden it must be. I'm honored to be on your team - you've got this! DrPaul

[@lynn4460]

When you can't figure out what steps to take next, hire a legal domestic abuse coach who has represented themselves in family court or when through the system for over ten years.

[@lynn4460]

Look for a law firm in a bank. You can buy custody. I discovered the GAL in my case was married to the VP of the bank where my former spouse divorce attorney's law firm was located. When i discover custody was sold boy were they pissed. Just thankful i represented myself and not had a huge lawyer bill lover the $20,000 divorce book i had. Now i help parent represent themselves and make the process easier. I created the family court journal and the family court motion guide. Downloadable so you can start making your motion today.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lynn, hope you were able to find some help in my videos. Thank you for watching.

[@acstamos]

Dr. Paul, thanks you for a most helpful lesson. I was so upset when I started watching your post. At the end of it, I wanted to watch it again, and as a dad I would prefer to follow the lessons of the proverbs rather than the bitterness, animosity, or hate of our era. I just hope I can follow your advice.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You can, Aeneas C. Stamos. We all mess up at times, just never give up.

[@nicholeflores802]

What about if the ex is quite at exchange at drop off and pickup. And has the girl he is sleeping with yelling and cursing at me? Calling me names for no reason. Son is really hurt by it. Crying. And ex does nothing to stop her behavior.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I truly wish I could give you a solid answer, Coco Castle. Remember I am viewing custody issues from a psychological perspective. Let your son talk to you about how he felt when that happened, yet don't speak ill of your ex and his girlfriend, hard as that may be. Try to find any positive in the situation, no matter how small. (Ex: Did your son like any meals while there? Did they do anything fun?) And then give him an extra long hug.

[@exgovernorroyromer3522]

Any way I could get you to come to mediation with me on Friday? I can't seem to get my son's mother on board with "this is about our son and not about spoils."

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My calendar is full, Jim Meh. Have her watch some of the videos and if you want to make an appointment for coaching, reach out through the website. Thanks for watching.

[@9adizzle]

All these thank you's and I love you's ....but has ANYONE won a case using this advice??

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

NON'O, yes, I don't know if it was in the comments of this video or another, but we have had a few say they won.