Childhood Trauma: The Lives of the Neglected Children

[@sprouts]

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[@VividlyDreamin]

The older I get, the more I realise how emotional neglected I was as a child - but I had always told how good I had it because I was spoiled with presents (and I'll admit I was). But all the materials goods in the world don't mean anything if you think you are worthless and a burden in the eyes of your family and yourself.

[@ZenuxProduction]

Yes my dad literally bought me an used but new car ,2019 Corolla . I crashed.Walked to work and paid him back and he bought a 2005 Toyota RAV4 . Did I mention when he asked me to come see it , he started yelling on how I should be responsible … Been like that for 17 years . Now I have many empathic issues and very dark past . Upper middle class with well respected parents and comfortable house but I’m 17 and have been to a facility prison that got shutdown for being for only under 18? I’m in college and haven’t even finished highschool but still can’t get over how I even am alive . I’m down for questions on this weird life . I’m also adopted lol.

[@ahhwe-any7434]

I am but im not. Mainly, I didn't hear my parents fight alot bc my mom never had a voice. They mainly fought w/ me or blamed things on me instead. My mom's like an overgrown child. She was the youngest and only female. Me too only she had like damn 12 bros or some sh. Idk. I guess I do have problems w/ getting close to ppl I do always refer back to the past like why the f am the way I am. But you're gonna hear my mouth...! But also, trying to listen to other ppls parents or in laws or even so called in laws is like ummm wtf I gotta do this sh I again? Bc I dont even get it. Like y try now. I feel like such a female right too. All in my emos and idekw. My dad bought me new sh everytime I broke something tho. And if ppl stole, he told me just to get over it. Sh got on my nerves.

[@moonhunter9993]

yup, know what that feels like

[@haileys5224]

Unfortunately this has made me extremely distrustful whenever anyone wants to give me something even if it’s small. My parents would throw the material things they provided for me back in my face when I would ask for emotional support, or criticized their distance. If I said “when you make those comments it makes me feel really bad.” They would say something along the line of “well you weren’t complaining when I bought you a new car.” Now even small things I won’t let someone buy it for me. I insist on reimbursing. My peers and coworkers sometimes feel offended by how I never accept their treats or trinkets, but this messed up part of my brain screams at me that people are attempting to buy my loyalty and make me indebted to them. Which is crazy because how could a three dollar coffee that I didn’t even ask for make me indebted to a person. Anxiety is a mf.

[@jessicawallace259]

It is especially fucked up when your neglectful and abusive parents convince you that you have it better than most children and that they are wonderful parents... it causes you to believe that your issues all come from your own defects. Its even worse when your mom convinces you that you are just a bad child and if you were better she would be happier....

[@mfinchina__117]

It's amazing how fast little kids can progress if they're saved from a neglectful environment in time. I volunteered in a small orphanage in China and the director came back with two blind kids from a large institution. They were both four and could neither walk nor talk. At the new orphanage where they got more personalized care and interaction with volunteers, within four months, the boy with a normal brain was starting to walk and say simple words. The girl who was missing part of her brain turned to not actually be blind, just very withdrawn from neglect. She progressed quickly too, beginning to walk and respond to her name. Within a year, the boy was running around, talking and singing. At age seven he's learning piano. The girl can now walk around, say simple words and is much less fearful.

[@sunshine9122]

What a sweet story. Thank you for helping children. 🙏❤

[@2degucitas]

I appreciate you helping out.

[@MarioRossi-sh4uk]

Thank you so much for what you are doing. It's priceless.

[@superjaded1738]

That’s what’s possible with care & nurturing

[@josephang9927]

Children are very adaptable. But also it implies they adapt to all kind of good or evil.

[@livedeliciously]

This video is exactly why some people shouldn't have kids. I wasn't raised, I was clothed and fed. I've seen people treat their dogs with more affection than my parents did to me.

[@aDm219]

My case isn't really my mom's fault it's others and others in the family but yeah I still wish I didn't exist

[@1over99]

I know the feeling. it’s sickening seeing ppl treat dogs with more love and affection better than their own kids right in front of them as if they are rubbing it in and mocking you.

[@chriscohlmeyer4735]

I was the youngest of four boys, mother labelled me "the independent one". After she passed my next older brother related a rare conversation he had with her (I was around 20 then and had been out of contact for over a year), basically she was expecting a daughter - dad had designed and built a house with a large bedroom for my to be brothers and one bedroom for me... I bonded with my second oldest brother (7 years older than me), I still recall the hurt I felt when he told me "the car will be too full with me, myself and I" as a reason that I couldn't go with him to his high school prom... otherwise he taught me a lot and always had time for me (at least as much as an active young kid could have for a younger sibling). Very late diagnosis of ASD and ADHD along with an unrecognized form of ODD according to the DSM and I had fun with polio at age three the year before the US started vaccine distribution, the sound of an iron lung still gets me into an extreme fear state.

[@hamzaayaz7482]

@@aDm219 Don't think like that, trust me, many people are happy that you are there in their life and there are so many more who will be grateful for your existence in the future. I know that life is hard and you might feel that nothing you do matters, but trust me it does. You will meet hundreds of people who you will make happy, and you might have children (who will love you) or other people influenced by you who will help thousands of others.

[@Robinsunshine83]

If I ddnt have dogs I wouldn't have any affection growing up. I'm grateful for the pets for I wonder what type of person I would have become. They were always happy to see me unlike my family members. They sat n cuddled with me everytime I was sad or and punished or disciplined...doggies saved me.

[@SamPan20]

'Don't go to your baby everytime she cries because that'll teach her that she can get your attention everytime she cries, we did that to you and you were always quiet...you (and your sisters) were such good children, I used to spy on you to see if you were awake in the morning and always caught you just lying there waiting patiently for me, most babies cry for their parents when they wake up'. That's my mum, ignorant to the core still, it boils my blood because she still boasts about her amazing child rearing techniques. Just for context me and younger sister have suffered from severe depression and anxiety all our lives, and older sister is a complete narcissist with anger issues.

[@rg1whiteywins598]

Prayers for you and siblings.😭

[@ambermac77]

I was treated the same way and I developed borderline personality disorder. 😢

[@meesteranonymous8177]

Well she's right about your older sister

[@hajy1728]

@@ambermac77 quit anticonception

[@ambermac77]

@@hajy1728 I’m not on anticonception. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@r.d.w.molenkamp1276]

I grew up in the 80s in the Netherlands, having a story which is simular to this one. My mom just wanted a daughter, not a son, and our government allowed me to be put into such a boarding school since I was 5 yrs old. Lots of bad stuff happened there, and Im these days still being under heavy trauma treatment (emdr), distrusting basically everyone and having a lot of anxiety issues. I can confirm this theory is very true, and I hope that anyone who reads this or watches this video doesn't do the same to their kids, or warn anyone who might think of doing the same to their kids. Thank you, Sprouts, for making and sharing this video. This is the 1st time in my life I actually see someone shining a light on this matter, and Im seriously thankful that you did. May there come a day that these horrible facilities will be closed..

[@sprouts]

Thank you for your personal and insightful comment. Yes, may there come the day where children aren’t being neglected like that any longer

[@deloresrichards5991]

I’m so sorry you had to endure such pain. I wish you love and healing ❤️‍🩹 sending a virtual hug 🫂.

[@lsd938]

Goddess... I am born in 1988... a female.. in rural town.. in India... life sucks for majority of people... in every fucking country... Netherlands sounds heavenly to me... I m very sorry for u..

[@ishaaaannnnn1]

@@lsd938 I understand mam, but things will change india.

[@yogabala7325]

@@ishaaaannnnn1 ... but sadly, that change will be 'too little, too late' for many of us who spend so many years of our lives trying to be seen and heard for who we are....and just being drained of life and the will to go on...For us, 'change will come' rings so hollow ...can you see? can you begin to understand? ... 🙏

[@KM-bn7dg]

So many stress hormones… I’m 25 now. “For life” isn’t an understatement. I have thyroid disease now and early stages rheumatoid arthritis which all ties into complications with long term high cortisol levels. I used to always wonder where my incessant need to self stimulate when I’m sad/stressed came from. It finally made sense to me recently. All of it roots back to being a neglected baby. I try not to be resentful, but it’s hard when my entire adult life now revolves around coping with the repercussions.

[@sinjinmonsoon9055]

I started out with thyroid disease at 12. I now have a bleeding disorder and lupus. I suffer from chronic headaches. I feel so sorry and bad for super empaths like us. My mom is dead and I still suffer from her. I wish you peace and health.

[@aramisortsbottcher8201]

My I ask what this "self stimulation" looks like, what are you doing? In the video I did not unsterstand the scene with the baby.

[@Alicenwndrlnd]

@@aramisortsbottcher8201 i think what they meant in the video that the babies would rock themselves back and forth, you know like a mother would if she wanted to put the baby to sleep.

[@aramisortsbottcher8201]

@@Alicenwndrlnd ok, thanks :)

[@snookies1224]

You're all adults now. Put on the big pants, suck it up, and do life for yourself the best way you can. Stop blaming things/people/events/dramas you can NOT CHANGE. You are what you are. Move on.

[@Kelly-oe8kr]

My mother would leave me in my crib all day while she went to work or partying. No one changed me, feed me, played with me all day. I often wonder if he was surprised when she finally came home to see I was still alive. Not surprisingly I had no attachment at all with her, I now have multiple mental illnesses due to the early and subsequent abuse and neglect. Raising a child is more than keeping a roof over their head, clothes on their back, and food in their belly, children have emotional needs too! The consequences of neglectful parenting are catastrophic for the child. If you don’t want kids or can’t be bothered to take care of them DON’T have them!

[@dianecleary1054]

Dear friend I so get it. My psychopath mother would dress us up like dolls all pretty then put a chest harness on us clipped to the inside of a pram and leave us in the garden all day. She was reported repeatedly for neglet all through my childhood. But all they saw was a well dressed and fed baby. She was deaf so didnt have to endure my screams but im sure the nieghbours did. Father had multiple sclerosis. This was just the beginning of the nightmare. Peace love and big hug

[@Solscapes.]

You two are my people. My mother petitioned the air force to let her move to Anchorage, when she found out she was pregnant, away from my father and a thousand miles farther from her family. She worked nights at the air force hospital, and claims she couldn't find a babysitter who was willing to stay up with me. Knowing her, the maximum amount of people she spoke to about it was 3. When I wasn't in the hospital, sick or injured, I was left with that sleeping babysitter or my sleeping, narcissistic mother. They don't even have a name for evert condition it left me with. The only reason I know anything for certain about my immunocompromization is because of isolation studies run on rhesis monkeys that were considered too cruel to replicate. As part of it, I don't get fevers, so that was a whole mess of invalidation, adding to the depression. It also left me with prisoner's cinema, developmental delays, etc. So, yeah. I feel you.

[@Riley_bacon]

😢😢. May you all get peace.

[@Riley_bacon]

Being a single mom I have suffered a lot for my daughter's.I have anxiety and depression.My husband abused me so I took divorce.Now I am raising my children with my family support.But I try my best to be a good mom despite of all the sufferings I try to make them laugh and I am trying my level best.But Financially and emotionally I am drained up.I think a lot about their future.Dear friends I am a Muslim just connect to your Allah and you will find peace.Trust me.

[@Hayesaxib]

@@Riley_baconIt will get easier with time insha Allah. Stay strong, your children will get older and they will bring so much joy to your life.

[@MNms-ny1gl]

I've read some horror stories about Romanian orphanages including one about a infant who was beginning to show signs of failing to thrive due to a lack of human touch or interaction which is an early sign of premature death. The infant was given into the care of a char woman known for carrying infants around with her on her hip or back as she did her chores. This is what she did with this baby and after awhile, the child began to thrive from the simple act of human touch and the skills that physical communication produces. Rather amazing, I thought but how horrible for all of those less fortunate children.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

I'm having that problem as an adult

[@learning.growing.1017]

Such a profound realization...

[@Im_notAwake]

Lol Im from Romania

[@MNms-ny1gl]

​@@learning.growing.1017 I'm underwhelmed. Stopped "learning" before the course in ellipsis usage, did we?

[@ozwelshcobs65]

Happened in orphanages all over the world even the western countries. England took these children and sent them to Australia as indentured servants. Most of these heartless orphanages where run by christian religions. Mass graves found on the grounds of old orphanages in Canada etc

[@CovertExpertiseArtiMarziali]

I was pretty much neglected as a child due to my parents being very harsh and busy with work. I always had all the things i've wanted as a child and i was being taken care of when needed. So yeah, i could say a 2/3 on points. I am today chronically anxious and always over-thinking. Hug your kids people.

[@CovertExpertiseArtiMarziali]

@@musheopeaus4125 but absolutely. Sure. My point is that hugging your kids and "being there" could sometimes be more powerful compared to buying stuff and toys.

[@sprouts]

Yes. Hug your kids!

[@sleepifiy2096]

@@CovertExpertiseArtiMarziali grow up! We got neither!

[@gdiana8357]

@@sleepifiy2096 just because you got neither(me neither actually) doesnt give you the right to be this judgemental. just because you dont agree or understand his pain, it doesnt make it any less real for him

[@musheopeaus4125]

@@CovertExpertiseArtiMarziali sorry ive been replying to the wrong comments

[@tieppham2658]

I am a father of a two-weeks daughter and I believe all dire consequences of neglecting children as you've given, so I am trying my best to spend as much time and love as possible to raise my daughter. Anw, your content is much helpful!

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing!

[@ellebell9139]

Its easy to love a baby. Keep that same energy when she grows into an autonomous person and love her for who she is and not what you ecpect her to be like.

[@dipro001]

You will do great. Listen to everything they say and give feedback as much as possible. It gets tiring but hang on. And no, you cannot "spoil" a child with too much attention

[@brigittea5110]

I grew up with neglect and abuse as a child. I learned 2 things in life. 1. It is never to late to have a happy childhood! Meaning, even so I did not have a happy childhood, I can still catch up on many childhood experiences by making sure my children have a happy childhood. Imagine all the great things you can do with your own kid. Going to the Zoo the circus, the playground, the beach, teaching them how to swim or ride a bicyle, camping......... and what not. 2. WE DO NOT HAVE TO REPEAT THE MISTAKES OF OUR PARENTS! Good luck to you and your family💙

[@dipro001]

@@brigittea5110 so so agree to your last point. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@sketchimation_shorts]

It was a revelation in my life when I realized in my 20s I didn't deserve to be treated the way I was. I haven't seen my dad in 7 years but still have nightmares about him. I have mental health issues and a hard time accepting love. My boyfriend has been so patient with me through it.

[@ambikakaushik6121]

As a neglected child I agree with so much of this. The worst thing is if you become a dysfunctional adult due to the above mentioned reasons it's very difficult to communicate this to other people. And people are not usually kind anyway. I have been humiliated so much for my anti social traits, I didn't choose to be this person. My life experience made me so. I am a single child and come from an okay income family where my mother worked full time and father was at home. He wasn't ready to deal with my responsibility so I mainly stayed in day cares and boardings. Wasn't able to build a bond with either parents. Was abused at day cares and boarding. Had no friends or a sibling. What kind of wholesome adult would have I grown into ?

[@_Nethma_]

Sending love❤

[@hiume_]

The pain of being an only child when your parents don’t understand you is real. The loneliness of an only child is real.

[@geneticallysuboptimalsurvi3931]

I can attest to this. As an autistic kid, I wasnt properly understood by family and people at school. Got bullied a lot, and not much paid attention at home because of working parents. As an adult, people expecting you to be normal is like people expecting you to climb mount Everest with broken legs and no oxygen supply.

[@amelie-db7gu]

Exactly. When we look at our horrific childhoods, how on earth were we expected to survive let alone have balance and regulation. It's a double insult the way that we have to suffer as adults 💔

[@PreYeah]

@ambikakaushik6121 - Single child also, but your mom is my dad and my dad is your mom. I wasn't sent to boarding school but was left with maids who were in constant rotation. Althoguh there was physical presence in the house, I was not emotionally engaged with.

[@el4242]

I think it's a vicious cycle when it comes to neglect and abuse. I know my parents love me but because they never showed much affection, now I'm pretty cold. I literally can't remember the last time I hugged someone. It was some time before the pandemic. It does mess you up mentally. Now affection is a form of weakness to me. If I need love it means that I'm weak.

[@gugulethuncube6421]

I hope one day you’re able to overcome this, sending you love♥️

[@agricolaregs]

I’m sorry.

[@_cyrille]

Same

[@NetiNeti-gm5bz]

No cycles can be broken easily. I turned out to be extremely compassionate and affectionate. It just depends on one's level of awareness. If you are aware, you can heal it fast.

[@clared5812]

Me too

[@leavemealone802]

I was severely neglected as a child, and ironically it was because my parents were always busy working to give me a confortable life. I would stay alone for weeks, and even my own love was trying to be bought. Is weird I never realized how neglected I was, simply because I lived a confortable life

[@kellypawspa]

Yeah, sometimes I actually think my mom.weat back to work immediately after birthing me to avoid having to be responsible for my care. My mom didn't even need to work. My dad had a really good job in aerospace. I hope you don't feel that way too. Its hard enough where you're at. But if take a step back, it's easy to see that society was socially engeneered to mess us up so that were all in the place were at today and they can take away our America and enslave us all.

[@Maggie-zb7gx]

My mom didn’t need work either. It just made her feel better she says still.

[@kathleensmith644]

Toys and “things” do not replace love and care.

[@Leangreen69]

Meanwhile kids in Africa are eating mud pies to stave off hunger pains. Kids in the Philippines are sniffing glue and eating out of the trash. Your not neglected, your spoiled😂

[@Elanor-g5z]

@@Leangreen69I think severe mental, emotional, or spiritual hunger can be just as painful as physical hunger. My parents said my life was easy just because I got food and shelter and never had to work. I come from immigrant family.

[@aleksandramichalska5223]

Having child/kids means big responsibility because you MUST give a lots of love, take care little babies everyday and you must be good example for them. Some people should not be parents at all because they can't love. I have good parents but I know how many kids/adults have trauma because of bad behaviour in their past- childhood's past.

[@sprouts]

Yes. They can’t love because they never experienced it themselves

[@SharonDrummond-by6of]

I thought I was loved all these was too it cause you care they are clean fed and got clean clothes and a clean environment. I learnt that from my parents and I did the same to my children with out realising that at the time. We need people to except more help and support with out feeling embarrassed and the feelings of judgement if only those people could see into the future how important your start in your beginning effect's that adult in the future causing them anxiety low self esteem low self worth which then you put all that on your children and it can keep going round and round on repeat

[@disabledandproud5556]

I experienced emotional neglect as well as physical, emotional and s**ual abuse growing up. It has caused me to feel as though everything was my fault, even if there’s no logical reason for it. It made me not trust others, and I even developed mutism in many settings. The only place I felt open to speak really was with my father in his apartment or in his car; as he was the one person I felt I could trust. My “mom” and her husband couldn’t be bothered with me. I’m going on 10 years now with therapy and I’m only now starting to come to terms with the idea it wasn’t my fault. That I am not to blame for every family problem, past present or future. That I have something to offer the world. And honestly, even though I have a long way to go, this idea that I did nothing wrong and did not deserve to be treated in this way, is freeing.

[@earthumbrella]

Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. Silence is violence. Keep going and I wish and hope and pray for a peaceful, joyful life in recovery. Knowing and feeling safe, curious and confident. And all the goodness that was not there when our formative experiences were happening. Blessings and respect. Pass it on.

[@disabledandproud5556]

@@earthumbrella “silence is violence” I like that. It’s true. Thank you and I will pass it on.

[@sprouts]

Me too - and yes, thanks for sharing 🙏

[@wisdomfortranscendence6220]

I feel like neglect has impacted me in an immeasurable way. It’s so interconnected with all the aspects of who I am. I relate a lot to this and thank you for sharing

[@Not_a_number_]

I'm so sad that you were made to feel responsible for what was done to you and things that you couldn't control. I do hope you can keep on growing in understanding and reach a good balance where you know what is your responsibility and what is not. 🤞🏻

[@morganleanderblake678]

I feel like a lot of us grew up in families where it wasn't clear that we needed these things. I remember in the 80s as a kid they would tell parents that children were being "manipulative" by crying. Kids are perfectly capable of manipulation, but when I was three I wasn't manipulating my mother, I was hungry, and she had an eating disorder and projected it on me. There were a lot of nonsense "norms" heaped on parents over the years.

[@kelleywyskiel3478]

I agree. When I had my son one of the biggest battles with my parents was over my dad physically stopping me from picking up my crying infant from the playpen they put him in because “I’ll spoil him if I pick him up when he’s crying”. Just … I still have so much frustration over that thought process.

[@steelearmstrong9616]

Born in late 70’s and hated my childhood. 2 brothers and 1 sister. Hated school and the 80’s growing up. Few more years and I’m out

[@kellypawspa]

Yeah, I've been contemplating the social engineering that was behind a lot of the things we suffered, and the kids are suffering now... the problem seems to be so much larger than our nuclear families, honestly. Perhaps our parents were just victims of that in some way.... who knows? But its pretty clear that society seemed to be directed in different ways to achieve where we're at in society today. Kinda crazy... but seemingly true nonetheless.

[@etaokha4164]

I grew up in the 90s and I was neglected by my mother. Even though I had a mother she was barely there for me and my brother. I will get jealous when I saw other kids with their parents but mine was barely there for me. She preferred relatives raising us than her. Now I've got my own children they don't have a relationship with their grandmother because she doesn't want to know them and I and my mother grew apart to the point we don't speak anymore. When I had my own kids, I vowed to love my kids and never neglect them and living happily ever after.

[@alejandravaldes2445]

my Story is quite similar. i was raised by my friends parents, neighbors and school teachers in the 90's. My father died before I was born, my mother decided to take off for all my childhood and when she finally retired and went "home" as I was a young teenager, she started treating me as her maid, later slave. I had lto leave school and pay her rent for my own bedroom. She tortured me every day I lived in that house, when she wouldn't through me to the streets after bringing her the wrong box of cigarettes and in Cuba there's no chance to find a place for yourself. So I endured a decade of verbal, mental and physical abuse. Nowadays I am very far away but I struggle with anxiety, depression and an awful self-esteem, even though I am still pretty much loved by everyone else I meet, including my amazing husband or my childhood friends or even my parents in law. I don't want kids and I don't want a mother either. t really sucks to live with my own thoughts, everyday I insult myself and have problems to understand how cool I am....or at least, that's what people around me says. I am thinking about professional help but I am not sure how speaking with a stranger would work.

[@darkobecker4534]

@ talk to a professional. it can make a huge difference!!

[@Nivi.K]

@@alejandravaldes2445 The professionals are trained to tackle these things so they can help. So, don't wait anymore find a good one.

[@rizwankarimsaeed7258]

That's my story 🙁

[@thehangmansdaughter1120]

Friends of my family adopted two little boys from one of those terrible places, bringing them home to New Zealand. They were undersized, skinny, angry and withdrawn. It took a lot of therapy to help them adjust to the world outside the orphanage. Both are happily married now and have kids of their own. I think this only worked because they were so young when they were adopted.

[@nevinuy18]

Definitely agree with this. Just because you were told that you grew up in a great environment doesn't mean you actually did. My parents weren't to blame, but it's easier to heal when you recognize that you were neglected in more ways than one. I'm 23, and I now know that I was emotionally and physically neglected, though my basic needs were always supplied. Rough stuff.

[@fuanasantuary1277]

narcissistic abusers' gaslight you by telling you the opposite. I was told I was loved and cared for when the opposite was true.

[@casuals.3.19]

I just realized as a teen how unexpectedly cold I’m becoming to everything and everyone. I used to think honestly that it wouldn’t effect me much being under a lot of emotional shit but honestly I think it’s starting to affect me. I’ve become so cold to everything for no fucking reason and it’s awful for me because I worry who I’ll become in the future.

[@steelearmstrong9616]

90% of parents don’t deserve to be parents, which also includes having pets

[@mslvc2011]

I had emotional neglect and I often feel lonely, have a hard time making friends, and don't trust people. I struggle with shame. It is frustrating. I don't ever expect anybody to take care of my needs except for myself. I am glad for my independence but there was a big price to pay for it.

[@oliviapaul2677]

@mslvc2011 how are you now? Hope you are doing great. 😊

[@FruityHachi]

same, I don't trust anybody to take care of my needs especially since I actually did seek help and only got empty words with "wish you the best" and asking me to imagine and theorize about how can I help myself, there's no point in asking for help when people just expect you to figure it out yourself sometimes I think the only way when some people realize they should have paid attention is when you're gone, that's what happened when one of my acquaintances who run away from home passed away, his father cried at the funeral and that was the only time when I've seen him express any care for his son

[@atisha505]

Sadly me too. My parents always try to affrord my needs. Still the family im growing old in, no one loves me or shows any kindness to me. As if i dont even exist. Bcz of this i have developed anxiety, stress, depression. Social anxiety is the worst. I also dont have any friends. I feel like I'm a looser in my class too. 💔

[@sunnyjoy229]

​@@atisha505 Pray and ask God to help you out of this situation you are in. He will surely answer.

[@kelseyleeann5482]

🩷

[@pandoraalberts5267]

I have had this too. Was supposed to be a boy, no parental attention so no education or proper nutrition, abuse, poverty, etc etc. I don't trust people or like their company, but have taken some very positive conclusions from this awful start in life: Do it yourself. No one will help you so you have to be tough, independent and without self-pity. As long as you breathe, you have the strength to walk away from a bad situation. Family is not always your family, friends can become your brothers and sisters. And just because you never received love doesn't stop you loving yourself. I rescue neglected and abused animals, I have plenty of love and happiness in my life now.. when you find yourself at rock bottom, find something you can give to someone else. There is always somebody worse off than you. Lots of love to you all and blessings on your path of healing. The world does have it's special place for you.

[@ittybittykittymama7582]

My poor husband actually has a flat area on the back of his skull because his mother never picked him up when he was a baby. She also left his first baby shoes on him for too long, not changing to larger sizes as he grew, resulting in his feet being cramped and misshapen. Even now, as a grown man, his feet are always painful and he has difficulty finding shoes that don't hurt him. He also does not like to be touched and is emotionally distant, even from those he loves. His adult children are estranged from him because they don't think he cares for them. He does care, very much, but he just does not have the social skills needed to show it! He has told me that his parents told him that they only had to educate, clothe and feed him, not love him. He said they were distant and cold, more like drill sergeants than parents. Poor guy, he would have been better off if he was raised by wolves! I have tried to help him, but I don't know how. I have stopped wanting him to show me love. I know it's there, it's just buried in his pain. He won't even hold my hand!

[@gct685]

he needs a therapist... that is what will really help him. but not all therapists are equal, you need to find a GOOD one. if he is so cold towards you how did you manage to fall in love with him? I can't even get women to give me the time of day...

[@jjbinx]

are you his kids biological mother? if so are they distant with you?

[@twistedstrength.]

If you read this, please have him look into the recently uncovered benefits of a ketogenic diet to repair mitochondrial damage caused by incredible psychological trauma. It has been now shown at the highest level of academia to help repair psychological trauma. It’s very much worth looking into.

[@alisoncanty1894]

He sounds like a Dismissive Avoidant which is one of the attachment styles. There are many resources on KZbin like The Personal Development School with Thais Gibson, Ken Reid, Adam Lane Smith, etc. who could help him to become more securely attached and sort through the pain of his childhood if he would be willing. I hope this might help a bit. 🌹

[@aureliawales]

😢😢

[@Vassilinia]

If only there was some way to regulate the kind of people who take positions that influence children. Some people really should not be allowed to take care of children.

[@UntoTheDepths]

communism is the answer

[@TrentGustus]

This is culture, and it seems that government these days demonizes parents and the family unit. What needs to happen is support for parents, strong communities that encourage putting family first.

[@LysanderAoi]

@@TrentGustus blah blah the water turned the frogs gay??

[@RepentImmediately]

@@TrentGustus mmmm...I think people just need to be more responsible parents

[@LysanderAoi]

Try parents just need to be hands on, and some of that is from societal pressures but I also just think it's because society doesn't view children as people until they're able to talk and even then they're half a person. There's no true protection of children and their bodies and minds, and that creates broken people who continue the cycle.

[@luceliapretorius4155]

I was neglected by parents as a child and this video is so true. I suffer from OCD, depression my whole life and insomnia(I'm currently on such expensive medication), and I suffer from social anxiety disorder. I can barely leave my house. I too feel that I can't keep a grudge against my parents but if they made better decisions I wouldn't suffer like this.

[@hankavorobjov4186]

can you give me advice on insomnia medication pls?

[@luceliapretorius4155]

I live in Vietnam and I'm currently taking some herbal medication. It's probably only available in here. I'm sorry. Don't they have insomnia medication where you live?

[@gila4424]

@@hankavorobjov4186 melatonin, you should have that where you are maybe

[@AH-fm2ex]

why the heck do you have all the symptoms and conditions i have the heck.. im a 14 yr old boy questioning through the internet if i have experienced trauma or neglect when i was younger

[@luceliapretorius4155]

@@AH-fm2ex oh I'm sorry to hear your struggling with these issues. It's not easy for me as an adult to deal with so I can sympathize with you. Have you tried speaking to your parents about it?

[@fakiriayoub8087]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@AnneRodrigo-fz6ks]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@AfkAliaga]

Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@Somusicais]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@AnneRodrigo-fz6ks]

Is he on instagram?

[@AfkAliaga]

Yes he is dr.porassss.

[@Xianne027]

This helped me to understand a lot about my adopted older sister. My parents apparently had trouble conceiving for many years and chose to adopt a two-year-old orphan from a war-torn country. I was born seven years later. My adopted older sister has all of the characteristics described in your video. By puberty it became clear to me that she had mental and emotional challenges that I didn't. For instance things that were easy for me grasp were difficult for her to understand. She did poorly in school, had learning disabilities, acted out rebelliously in school and at home. She was labelled a "problem child". She still tends to behave obsessively controlling towards others. However, luckily she did go on to be a stable member of society, with a good life as a wife, mother and grandmother. But she is still quite childlike and is reliant on her husband and kids in many matters due to her low IQ and inability for abstract thinking or to handle business matters. Thanks for this video. It helped me to understand her better.

[@NearpTude]

Let me just tell you, you're a great sister for that :) just the fact you're trying to understand her better... I was adopted at ~3 years old, and have 2 younger sisters that I was adopted with (same bio mom) it's a long-ish story... Any how, this hit close to home a little bit

[@simplelifedays3692]

I'm 44 and have been neglected as a child. I'm just realizing how much of an affect the trauma has had on my brothers, sister and I. I remember walking on about a foot of trash in our bed room. There were maggots everywhere. So much more... But I'm doing the best out of the 4 of us. I'm a recovered alcoholic. I don't trust anyone. I have a hard time living in one spot. Every few years I move to a different state. I can not have a romantic partner for any length of time. I'm so independent to some while others I am too dependent. I have found myself in abusive relationships. Things are extremes for me. There is no middle ground. Life has been really hard and I'm a good person. I'm in therapy now. A single mother and my children are the best people in the world. They will NEVER experience an ounce of what I have. I have a great job and even own my own home at this point. I am relearning how to interact with people. How to build solid relationships. It hard because I like to be alone a lot (they call it isolate). Besides work and my daughters, I can go weeks without seeing anyone else. But I do get lonely and daydream about having a partner. I am doing my best to learn how to properly have relationships with people. Middle ground is key. I think we all understand at this point that abuse isn't just hitting. IF YOU SEE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I have.

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing! All the best and great to hear you made a better life possible for your own children ❤️

[@lowrider81hd]

I was born in the country I won’t name, and adopted to Italy in 1969. I was already 4 years old and all the abandonment was already engrained in me. I had wonderful adoptive parents and it took me 40+ years to get over early childhood abandonment issues. I still work on it but lately, the past few years, raising my own family and seeing my kids doing well, it’s been so much less bad. Family and having kids are everything. I wish more people could believe this and give it a go, instead of giving in to their fears that because of early childhood trauma, they wouldn’t make good parents themselves. My family, my kids, have saved my life.

[@sprouts]

Wonderful

[@ClezVideos]

That’s so beautiful. I’m so happy to hear your family have given you a sense of love and belonging - you deserve that so much 💕

[@elizebethjames1256]

If you believe that most of this turned out great for you due to raising some children of your own, that's nice; for you - you just can't compare all troubled childhood histories, go the route of "one size fits all" and judge others as too negative or fearful. As a north American individual, born in 1953, I really see how achievement and money is too important over here. It's a big gamble, to just "jump in" on blind faith concerning the big tough job of raising children , and to be from a background so faulty in what is the best one can "do" for your offspring. You should see the lost souls homeless and wandering the streets of too many small and large cities anywhere here in the U.S.A. and Canada. Too much MEITOCRACY and over population over here ,for many to be able to handle hands down !

[@lowrider81hd]

@@elizebethjames1256 excuse me but I didn’t. I merely said I WISH. You failed reading comprehension.

[@elmondo-s1e]

This is lovely to hear. I harbour this same fear of “I’d fuck up any kids I try to raise” so imma just stay by myself all my life. I’ve done some therapy and made some changes to live my life how I want to and am still working on this. It’s nice to hear this sort of thing because most of the parents I know (that are of my generation) did it young/don’t talk about this sort of things. Congratulations on your wonderful family btw

[@potatotoes754]

I think what hurt the most, Atleast now, is realising how obvious it was. Some of the things I said at school, or how my $2 kmart shoes had their souls falling off. How I always smelt and didn’t have food. It was so obvious yet no one helped, no one contacted the police. One time my parents didn’t pick up from school so a teacher walked me home after I had been there for an hour, when I got home I was in trouble because the teacher could’ve seen the state of the house or their drugs. I really wish people reported it when they saw these signs.

[@orfeas8]

Also being blamed oftenly, receiving hysterical and manipulative bad language from your parent since a young age which you do not even have the words to counter at that age and being under fear of not bringing good results in studies can have devastating results in your following years and adult life.

[@monicaroman2800]

Yes,it's true but that's easy.The big problem is when you have physical abuse and no one don't believe you and support you.And it's very hard when your parents it's your enemy and stop you in everything.My truly parent which have mercy and grow at me it's Jesus and I love Him.I teach of Him the mercy,gentless,calmly, power,courage,humbles,passion,knowledge,love,faith,friendship and sacrifice.John 3:16,17 and John 17:3.

[@79meh]

I related to this. Despite being a valedictorian in high school, I was never good enough for my mother and she beat me when I was learning my math. To this day I lose complete focus whenever I have to do simple math in my mind under any type of pressure. My mind goes blank as if my body was expecting a hit. It's so embarrassing.

[@monicaroman2800]

@@79meh Don't stop your purpose!If your family trated you like a enemy seek an oportunity for money as to live self.A job,everything and pray for them and this is good and for you to pray for you life and purposes.

[@CTmarie34]

I was neglected as a child. My mother was present, but checked out and overworked. Due to her mindset, she often left me with predator pedophiles and bullies. She also had trauma growing up as a child, therefore her disposition was not foreign, but unfortunately it left me abused often and she was not there to protect me. I suffer from hypervigilance (which is a blessing and a curse) as well as low self-esteem, due to my abuse. Although I have been fortunate enough to recognize my toxic traits, catastrophic thinking, and self-sabotaging, the pain of my trauma has made life an excruciating journey. I have a grave mistrust for the human race, and it get worse as I get older. Despite my obstacles I am dedicated to constantly healing.

[@Alaskanman]

You're all strong people. I see so many people still building families despite going through all this

[@alaina.vittoria1484]

Came here because my brain was curious, but now my heart is in pain seeing all these..

[@aussieallstar66]

Forgot to say this happened in Sydney Australia. I too achieved a university degree but never formed a loving relationship or even a proper friendship. But i have accepted this and am enjoying my life.

[@rosemaryallen2128]

I am in my late 70s and was very surprised to hear a psychologist declare I had suffered emotional neglect. It is very easy to accept the abnormal as normal, especially if others subscribe to it. But it is also easy to wallow in self-pity. It is essential to actively oppose perceived consequences of negative treatment. CHALLENGE reserve, inhibition, fear and self-neglect. If you treat the world well yourself, the world will welcome you with love.

[@aDm219]

The biggest lie in whole of existence. I treated with love and care and I'm treated back with opposite like this video talks about. No one can be trusted. So stop with the lies. I just wish I never existed. I'm just an empty space and waste of time. Someone more important could have had filled the space anyway. Seems like dark evil people what this world needs as is respected for genuine honest people just used and in a trash bin

[@rosemaryallen2128]

@@aDm219 How can you dare to say 'no one'? Your experience has been very bad. Yes. But it is not representative of the whole of the universe, is it? So cut the self-pity. You deserve to live, not suffer, and, as Marcus Aurelius said, 'The best revenge is not to be like your enemy'.

[@aDm219]

@@rosemaryallen2128 Why I deserve? i'm no one :( kinda i guess maybe idk

[@rosemaryallen2128]

@@aDm219 Some people have bad luck. They don't deserve it. So once they get through the trauma, they owe it to themselves to make the best of things, because they have as much right to live well as anyone else, the lucky, the unlucky, the good or the bad, or anything else in between, which is most of us. Best wishes to you on your journey.

[@babyspice0206]

im from hong kong as a child and my father was a doctor, my mom is a workaholic and worked 2 jobs from 8am to 11pm. My younger brother and I were raised by either a relative or a house maid. They were simply doing housework as a job and of course, they wont teach us or interact with us very much. i felt neglected even though school was very strict. it was a catholic school from K-9. Today, although im living in a free country Australia, i still have some anxiety issues, getting irritated easily and feel worthless despite having a high academic achievement. Anxiety has ruined my career and family life.

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing this with us 🙏 You can get over it!

[@rachelmacaskill5806]

In 1989 I had my first child. This tragedy was so harrowing to my soul...heartbreaking. I gave my son all the love I had.I had another son four years later and I loved him with just as much love. We've always had an open relationship, We've always talked. They are both now grown men,they are very different people, but they are both good strong confident humans with just as much love to give... The plight of all of these poor children haunted me for years.I don't have any of the experiences some people have. I have had difficulties in my life,but nothing so soul destroying... My thoughts have gone out to these adult children of the Monster's Regime. As my son's grew, so did these children. I watched a documentary around the time when they would have been teenagers but I've heard nothing since on UK TV. I hope they get the peace that they deserve 🙏

[@juliejuju7419]

Very informative video. It will bring up many stories of neglect in the comment section. Much peace and healing to those who went through this pain.

[@fernandae.d.332]

I remember after My mother married and let me living with my grandparents, they just didnt care that much about me, I could past weeks without showering and had boils in multiple parts of my body. They beat me up every time I cried or if I laughed too loud, and blamed me even for thing they did themselves. It was worst when I became a teenager and I still lived with them until 27, my actual age. I tought it was "god" the one telling me to stay with them, but later Ive found out "gods" voice sounded just like traumatic bond. I'm cutting ties this year, with my family and my religion, I'm feeling better but I still know I need therapy, I have problems with sleep, focus, guilt, social anxiety, adicction, low self esteem motivation, perfectionism if I remember correctly.

[@anjalirana6487]

Same dealing with same🥲

[@nabinaregmi363]

Sending love to you. You are loved my dear friend ❤

[@ady6837]

Much love n light to u.. brave child

[@amenkid2]

Please don't give up on God, He loves you so much and can really heal you. I was abused really bad too and Jesus is really helping me heal from it. All you have to do is ask and believe.

[@lunny3715]

Pretty much my childhood. Everyone was just sooo busy.... that kind of household just feels like feelings of loneliness that'll just never go away.

[@larisslanting7684]

Totally relate to this story. I was neglected by my parents when growing up in a small village. I hardly see them only at night for one or two hours. They work at their own farm and that was their life. Farming! My sister was 7 and I was 4. She cook for us simple meal or sometimes we ate last night leftover food. I still have that trauma and never wanted to be a mom nor married because I dont want to be like my parent. I would rather die alone than neglecting other soul that came through me 😭. Life is such, some of us are scarred for life. I dont think I will be able to recover from being neglected, unloved and unwanted by my parent. Its just hard to endure. I am 49 years old now still single and happy and enjoy being with myself. My parent are old now and I can assured you that they regretted every fuxking moment of their life. Both my sister and I didnt live nor visit them often. You know, you gotta give love to accept love. Love is not demand, love is earn. My parent doesnt deserve my love nor attention except responsibility of a child towards her old parents who willingly funded and treated her like an object 49 years ago.

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and story 🙏🏻

[@awaywithfairies4689]

"I would rather die alone than neglecting other soul that came through me" 😔 Exactly. They cut our wings and killed our souls to this point. Love and light to you🙏🏻💖🌟

[@angelataraxy]

I grew up in a basement as a kid, wasn't allowed out in the area. Then spent 13-19 somewhere else essentially raising myself with a mother who basically didn't know I existed unless I was being screamed at. I used to run away from nice people in family settings or have severe anxiety being around families at all. It took me years of work to even understand what kindness and love meant. Not because I couldn't recognize it, but because I had to learn I'm capable of being valued in that sense. I am inches shorter than normal height/height of my other family members because I didn't have meals besides school lunches and had no doctors visits. So, I'm the same height and weight I was at 12-13. I didn't know that bit about physical contact growing up, but I didn't have that either. I was afraid of it. This was an oddly relatable and informative video for me. Thank you for sharing.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

I like Cellar dwellers

[@wordzmyth]

What happened to you should have been challenged at the time, but sometimes as an adult you can go back and give love amd support to that child that is still within you. Take them on playdates. Look for people who can give a hug to you now out of kindness, amd imagine that child receives the hug. Our brains amd nervous systems are amazing, you can heal your past.

[@angelataraxy]

@@wordzmyth thank you for this 💛 I have been working on healing for a while now

[@jamesbra4410]

Yeah I unfortunately had the same experience with my family who would withhold any affection yet would put you under surveillance at all times with hidden cameras and microphones. Would constantly gaslight and use your thoughts against you. Before she met her CEO husband she was with a man convicted of robbery and child molestation. Didn't realize it until later that they were all watching me naked and getting a sexual thrill from it.

[@angelataraxy]

@@jamesbra4410 I'm so sorry. It's important to remember none of that was your fault. Some people are just terrible, but it makes it way easier to value the ones that aren't psycho ☹️💛. I hope you are doing okay now.

[@thehoney-badger7039]

I grew up with my grandmother since I was 6 years old. At that time my grandmother could not offer me the love and attention as she had herself a full time job and a drunk husband. My mother remarried and had two daughters with my stepfather. At the age of 7 I was taken into the care of my my mother and my stepfather however that was not willing and it was due to my grandfather dying and grandma not able to care for me anymore. My life changed completely once i moved to the city. In the first few weeks I learnt how to brush my teeth and respect boundaries. I didn’t not have many boundaries as a child whilst living at grandma. My mother and my stepfather portrayed their anger when I was “naughty” by using the belt on me, punishing me by having to sleep in the bathroom with the light off, learning school stuff until midnight in a hallway whilst they were asleep, not allowed to eat as a punishment for not doing good at school and constantly put on a corner of the living room with my hands up for at least an hour at a time amongst others. I remember that at all those times mentioned above , both my mother and stepfather were playing with my younger sisters. Whilst they were doing better in school, I could see the difference in the behaviour and love towards them compared to me. I felt unloved for the remaining of 7 years living with them. I do not talk with my mother anymore and my stepfather died. The relationship with my sisters is a numb one not great not good. After 7 years living with them in a crowded apartment I finally had enough after a final beating with a rolling pin. I was bruised on my bum and back which turned blue. All of it was blue. A week before that we went to a lawyer in Romania with my mother and stepfather to discuss with the lawyer to change my name from my biological fathers surname to my now stepfather. I remember I mind mapped where we were and I felt that the lawyer was a good person. On the day I was physically abused to the point I nearly fainted and was blue all a over, I went back the next day to the same lawyer we went a week before. I was crying and I needed someone to hear me and do something about it. I had enough of living with them. There was never love in that house towards me and if there was, it was not portrayed in a loving manner and rather using corporal punishment as a mean to be better behaved. I never remember my mother ever taking me to have an ice cream or a anything parents would hopefully and normally do. I do not remember ever going to my parents for a hug for fear of being punished and beaten or screamed at me and calling me all sorts of names. One of the names I was called by my stepfather was “cornila” which in Romanian is little devil with corns. The lawyer listened to me on that day and took my statement and on the same day took me to a court for her to get a stamp. That lawyer held my hand all the way to the court. I felt loved and protected even tho I was by then 12 years old. I missed having those connection. I also learnt by seeing other peers and their families that what my family were doing was not normal. There was no affection towards me however there was towards my sisters but I’ll get to that later. Back to the lawyer, a few days later after visiting the lawyer, the police informed my parents to come to the police station. I was informed by my mother whilst I was at school. When I got home I was fearful of what may happen but to my surprise both parents were quiet and mindful for what they were saying to me. On the day we went to the police station, my mother begged me to say to the police that what I said in the statement was a lie and to think of my sisters and who will they live with if my mother of stepfather will go to prison. In that moment I agreed with my mum that I will say to the police that all I said was a lie with one condition. I said to my mum that from that day I will never want to live with any of them again and wanted to go back to my grandma. My grandma was ok to take me and that’s what happened. On the same day straight from the police station they took me to my grandma and later on they brought my clothes and belongings. Few that I had and never had a toy bought from them! Not one! In terms of toys, clothes and attending clubs my sisters were able to have all those things. My sister went to piano lessons as a child and my younger sister to gymnastics. I was never given that opportunity. This was reflected also in the clothes we were bought. I used to get second hand clothes whilst my sister were having new clothes. Not to mention toys! There were toys but not had any bought for me! There were however lots of different dolls. Long story short that this is only a resume of my life, I developed depression and had a negative outlook in life until I was about 30. From 18 to 30 I was having meaningless jobs that I could not get out of and was hating myself for who I was becoming including developing alcohol addiction. I stopped drinking at 32 now 35 and since then I went to university and about to finish it! I still don’t drink and now I deal with my trauma from childhood. I used to hide it almost like a volcano that needed to erupt a long time ago! I still don’t speak with my mum.

[@fatimahmojisuleiman2319]

I'm so sorry you went through this. I was also abused in childhood by my dad and stepmom and my biological mother was manipulative. It was like hell for me and I developed all sorts of problems

[@user-se9jz7mg4j]

I’m sorry you went through this, I’m sitting here in tears after reading your post. Sending you lots of love and healing..

[@KBArchery]

I am so sorry😢you did not deserve this.

[@fathimapm3220]

Dude, I'm so proud of u for being alive to write this. Pushing through the pain every single day and now at your 35 you are finally, finally, finally opening up about it. I must salute you for having the courage to wake up every day and live through it. Remember this line till you die "with difficulties come easiness". Your happy phase is only going to begin. Buckle up and enjoy.

[@L3onking]

I relate too much with this, my parents worked 14 hours a day not because they had to, but because my Dad wouldn't get mental health support nor did he want any of his kids to have mental health support so my ADHD was ignored leading to a miserable academic life. My brother who is a sociopath, has been able to succeed incredibly well as he doesn't have a need for any emotional attachment and was able to make it through just fine. I am thankful my early suicide attempts failed because after I became 18 and I didn't need authorization from my family, my family doctor spilled the beans that he always knew about my neurodivergency "but you know your dad" and the realization that I was set up for failure then punished for the failure by the same person was everything I needed to permanently cut them out. Best choice I ever made

[@jamesbra4410]

Very true they must be part of the crowd that doesn't "believe" in vaccines or mental health. I had a similar experience being denied ADHD medication for what I knowingly had. ADHD is nothing to fool with it can be debilitating. Your quality of life is terrible and you're stuck what seems like forever shoveling through work and having no social interaction. Ultimately you're going to need medication to finish college they will make sure that your kind will not pass by clever tricks and even if you do get the piece of paper you can't let the employers know as they discriminate against anyone with it.

[@L3onking]

@@jamesbra4410 The hardest part is seeing how easily all our suffering could have been resolved if they just listened.

[@jamesbra4410]

@@L3onking Right though if done right you can be extremely intelligent though which is sad when I see someone who has this and is suffering with amplified internal emotions and powers of visual projections. If harnessed by the right people you could be a great scientist and mathematician like many are. The medication just enhances some of the negative effects that they have which people unfortunately over prioritize such as small talk and emotional connection so you can immerse yourself in their dialogue. Otherwise your dopamine response is not activated by things that most are which for face value is a tool of control.

[@Bluesclues-here]

I’m almost 40 and I didn’t realize until recently how much neglect and abuse in childhood had affected me. I ended up in many abusive relationships as an adult. Feeling lonely, lost, worthless, empty. I was severely depressed and barely keeping myself alive while trying to raise a daughter on my own. I was emotionally unavailable for her during her most formative years. I prayed that I didn’t wake up the next day, and only stayed alive for her as I was her only family. Later on, unfortunately she also developed depression and anxiety and felt as empty and lonely as I did. Once I realized that I have CPTSD from suffering so much trauma in my life is when I started healing and finding joy and meaning in my life. Trauma changes us genetically and can pass that onto our children. Understanding that has been super helpful as I know that I did my best as a mother, however, there are so many factors that are not in my control. It’s not my fault what happened to me and it’s not my parents’ fault what happened to them. They too suffered incredible trauma in their lives. My daughter and I are working through it to break this vicious cycle of trauma, pain, and suffering. We want to live a happy and meaningful life. We all deserve that. It takes time to get there, but the joy that I feel now is beyond what I had imagined I could ever feel.

[@sprouts]

Very insightful. Making peace with your parents, if you can, is often the best way to get through trauma and heal.

[@sb5838]

Knowledge, knowledge everywhere, but so few with the desire to learn it, and ability to use it.

[@rosentkiel5330]

Am I the only one who was raised in a hostile environment with unloving unavailable and harsh parents, and also lacking in basic needs? I'm so doomed. I wish my parents had the ability to provide us a comfortable life just like you guys had. I might have had a life out of this depressing four corners :((

[@awaywithfairies4689]

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that stuff when you deserved quite the opposite. And I'm sorry all the struggle you can't help going through now because of what happened then. All I can say is that some parents belong in jail.

[@TheRelaxingExplain]

You are not alone, hugs.🖤

[@princesinha1680]

While my basic physical needs were always met growing up, I was one of eight children, and, unfortunately, I was one of the kids who 'slipped through the cracks.' The neglect I experienced was primarily emotional, and primarily by my mother, who especially abandoned me during my pre-teen and teen years, when I needed her care the most. I've never been able to determine if her neglect was intentional or not (she claims it wasn't), but since my sisters weren't neglected, and I had a lot of health issues, the neglect always felt personal to me. It just felt like she didn't want to 'deal' with me. Regardless, there's no question the result of that neglect has been life-long struggles in my ability to trust others and form healthy relationships. As well as a life-long struggle with depression and anxiety. So when I watch videos like these, and hear about other kids who experienced even worse neglect than me, my heart is torn to shreds. Neglect, in any shape or form, can have devastating life-long consequences. Regardless of my ongoing personal struggles, I'm determined to not let my own painful history be in vain. I currently work with youth who've experienced a lot of trauma, neglect, and marginalization, and they are what help me get up in the morning. Their stories may be different, and a lot worse, than my own, but I can still empathize with them, and any little thing I can do to impart a little light, hope and encouragement in their lives brings me immense joy. So for others out there (many in this comment section) who've experienced childhood neglect: let your pain be the catalyst that moves you to make a difference in the lives of others. It's so worth it. And it's healing.

[@babyspice0206]

Very well said.

[@shinola228]

I come from a big family too and suffered neglect and abuse. That many people crowded into a small house is a recipe for disaster. There is literally no way for a child to be properly cared for in those conditions. Add in a lazy , uncaring, narcissist mom and it's not much different from those orphanages.

[@TheMica1616]

“Maybe it wasn’t even your parents fault” that’s a hard one to remember, but it’s true that most are really doing their best. I was left alone a lot as a child but bills had to be paid and both parents had to work several jobs at a time. Can’t blame them, it helps to see their side

[@Sarablueunicorn]

Majority were far from "doing their best". If they had power of decision they could have done better. First, if they didn't have the means to bring a child to this world then there are plenty of ways of not doing it. Bills have to be paid with or without a child and more add up when a child comes to this world so they should be prepared for that. I find amusing that even do drive a car one needs to take lessons, pass an exam and obtain a license but there's nothing demanded to bring and raise a child.

[@NetiNeti-gm5bz]

They only have children to impress/ seek validations from others but not really take responsibility for their mental well being. Also most traumas come from childhood traumas.

[@ClezVideos]

It is a tough pill to swallow. My mother had a horrendous upbringing so I have to remind myself often that she had nobody to show her how to love and her parents were dead so nobody to teach her what a good parent does. It still hurts so much when I think back to my childhood but it helps reduce my anger towards her. As someone once said, anger is like an acid: it only hurts the vessel it’s contained in. So, I’m also helping myself by _trying_ to understand her.

[@RepentImmediately]

Most people have children without putting a single thought into why they are doing so or what it takes to be a competent parent...and everybody gets a pass cuz people like you actually believe they're "doing their best"

[@prenumbrastone8380]

@@Sarablueunicorn you forgot that we often have our brainwashed that we need or must have children. Very often society force peopl to have children. Even you feel that you will not a good parent they will convince you that you will be after you will born them. Mostly it is not true, unfortunatrly but a child is on the world...

[@user-in1yw9ty5t]

had emotional neglect during childhood and tween teen years. i was a loner at school. didn't talk much and was mostly confused. was needy. could hardly make any friends even though i was needy. it all makes sense. i was neglected since birth but am grateful for not growing up in poverty. but it wrecked my mental health and identity and communication skills since I was not confident and didn't know how relationship work. first at home and the emotional prep to be confident anywhere at school or elsewhere. Parenting is tough but not rocket science. Support your kids emotionally since they are kids and need a lot of meaningful talk. i am thankful for all full time mom's and dad's and full-time working parents who make time emotionally to be with their kids and help them. We can give everything to our kids- but nothing beats a close relationship with your kids.

[@Tundosjournal]

I am seventeen years old and have only recently realised the emotional neglect I've always experienced. I've realised a lot of my actions have stemmed from this issue. It doesn't just carry on from when you're before a teenager. It messes you up for life.

[@shizukae9045]

All my siblings grew up in group home. I was 6, and spent there till 15. In the group home, we were taken care of well, but abuse by staff was going on, I've seen my youngest brother was being kicked, slapped. Even school teachers hit us. I am having anxiety, overthinking, and issue with socializing. My self-esteem is on the ground. I've been blaming myself that's my fault, I always think there's something wrong with my brain. Now I'm studying early childhood education which helps me understand why I have became who I am today, what shaped me how I am today. It was not my fault at all. I will keep suffering till I die, but I know this is not my fault and I won't blame myself anymore.

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

What a horrible experience. Good that you have found insight. Do you think you can still change your brain with neuroplasticity and self parenting and things like "change your thoughts change your brain" or do you think your brain will remain... (?) inflamed(?). My brain became more, what I call Inflamed, while working with nervous people and their child's recovery. Where he was doing good progress I was always concerned they'd ask me to leave before he could talk... Luckly we got to the point where he could talk and they could relate and further parent the child. But this left me with a more stressed brain tha I ever had It took seven years I'd say... to calm my mind. But I have to watch my thoughts. *trying to unpack and u derstand the past situation- so as to produce.material that can prevent such tradgedy(of people missing the chikd's potential) doesn't help to keep my brain calm or busy with constructing a own positive life. It feels like I have to try and warn people... Your child is lrobably there... Just PLAY and Connect... but I find they don't see the virtue. How can PLAy help... All I know it did. and it changed the child's brain thus thoughts, this interaction patterns. And his family now have a better life. *does any of this seem probable from the things you do study? How long does it take to calm the Amygdala? - Cornelius. I think you can. And will resolve to have a more peacefull mind. Good Luck.

[@christieprescott5450]

Today I struggle with depression and anxiety and poor social skills, lack of ability to self soothe, addiction, desire to isolate, distrust of people, overeating, self loathing. But as I learn more (especially from Tim Fletcher’s therapy channel) I’m healing and improving. Thank you Jesus 🙏❤️

[@enngee2339]

The neglect isn't always intentional either. For example, a mother who was abused through her childhood might not know how to connect with her child emotionally. Or a man who works long hours to provide for his family might not have time to connect with his child. These are difficult because the parent IS meeting the physical needs of the child and does love the child but the emotional neglect runs deep.

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

The dad working long hours and not having time is not really the issue But the mom is ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL for her to be emotionally available for her kids The problem nowadays is women have become busy like men, they employ baby sitters to look after their kids and wonder why their kids are emotionally absent from them

[@FruityHachi]

if they don't know how to emotionally connect with a child then why did they choose to procreate? because they were not thinking and only wanted to fit in because they'd get ostracized if they didn't have kids stop making excuses for selfish decisions of grown adults

[@hollyleavves]

You just described my life in a single paragraph 💀

[@A5xxxxx]

I get what you're saying. I have a mother that was dealing with her own generational trauma and she struggled to emotionally connect to me and my half sibling. But she chose to have children, and she chose to be neglectful and cold to us. Sure, it can be all they've ever known so that's how they'll be, but why is it not actually, oh I won't be that way with my own children because I remember how I felt when I received that treatment. The worst part is when they behave a certain way as a parent, expecting that their children will always put up with it, and then act all shocked and affronted when the children grow up, stand up for themselves and refuse to take the behaviour anymore.

[@Hnieh]

That is why people should not have babies just because they are cute or they “want to build a family” or whatever the reason (some dont even have reasons they think thats what every human is supposed to do) unless they are truly and fully ready to probide emotional and financial wellbeing for the child no matter what. But people continue to do so despite knowing how life works.

[@Fred-ff6bv]

may be that i’m imagining this, but i see many aspects of my childhood, my parents and other “caregivers” and myself in the majority of the videos that i watch by you all. truth be told, i’d probably be a good case study subject for someone interested in studying overlapping issues.

[@Sunrise-fr9jb]

Many of The kids in these orphanages had severe problems. They could not speak well and stuff even when they got older. My neighbor grew up in one. She can’t move out of her parents house ever and if you talk to her she has symptoms of being severely austic

[@rachelreeb695]

Im sorry to those others hearts that hurt along with mine 💔 hearing this makes so much sense.

[@sprouts]

Thanks Rachel

[@alexninra9910]

Hi Rachel how are you doing

[@lilbertsmom3561]

Yes, I definitely experienced abuse and neglect. My mother was checked out, well, my entire life. She tried to commit suicide when I was about 3, and I was sent to live with my grandma for a few months. My dad would go on long business trips and leave us home alone. They spent their time together screaming at each other instead of interacting with us, and getting into physical fights. Dad was usually a good dad when he was around, except when he was drinking in which case he became abusive. SO much more to tell, it would take a book. Bottom line: The over-riding experience I felt during childhood was a desperate loneliness.

[@sprouts]

Sad 😔 hope you are better today!

[@lilbertsmom3561]

@@sprouts It was many years ago now. I appreciate your thoughts!

[@projectacuhope]

I grew up with a handicapped sibling who needed a lot more attention, understandably. When I was old enough to do so, I earned money and hired professionals to listen to me and give me the emotional support that was missing. I still feel uncomfortable truly sharing my inner world with people unless I am paying them to listen. It feels that my duty is to be there for others, and having my needs met is something I need to pay others for. I have one friend who can listen to me though, what a blessing.

[@orchidtreasure1484]

Surviving child abuse and neglect is an extremely challenging, arduous journey. Those who grew up in loving homes could never understand, and they wonder why we survivors often experience feelings of anger, resentment, anxiety. I thank God every single day that I made it out alright, and I wish the same for each and every victim of child abuse. Sadly, abuse often repeats itself, so if you were abused, chances are that your parents were also abused, and that's the way they learned to parent. It's up to you to break the cycle. Or, just don't have children if you don't think you want to. Parenting is a tough job, but also very rewarding.

[@Detached_Contemplation]

People who had families will never understand those who didn't. It is an entirely different world they live in.

[@aDm219]

No. I wish I wasn't born. The fact this works only for evil people. While good kind people just suffer. I know that. Since I've been checking out people from past and they live best life. Without no morals or memories or care for ruining others.

[@ChairpersonXpZWarden]

I really hope the next generation cares about their child more than their neglectful parents.

[@coachingforchrist4090]

I grew up in neglect, abuse of all kinds. My parents were addicts and could not give me the love that I needed. I am grateful I began my healing journey in 2019 became certified as a life coach and now through my journey I am able to help others to heal from the effects of trauma. I have learned that it is an ongoing process. I am still healing everyday, and I am committed to healing my soul from the holes of neglect and abuse. This video helps me to understand even more. Thank you

[@sprouts]

You go, girl. Cheering for you :)

[@elizabethstockton1996]

This makes me cry so hard 😭 I so terribly wish to help these poor, neglected, and abused children. They deserve the very best! I stick to the saying every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. I want so much to be that person they deserve... I pray I will be gifted with the ability to give that unconditional maternal love they need, and that we can all make a difference in children's lives! 🙏 They are gifts from above and I pray I'll be a mom one day... it would be the greatest joy 🥲 Please pray with me that we can do good for our future, our children. 🥰

[@sprouts]

🙏

[@danthesquirrel]

At the end the video says "if you were neglected as a child try to see that it may not have been your parents fault". Where did that come from? And why? Rape lasts for less than a day (not the 18+ years of abuse we are talking about here) and nobody who wasn't really sick would ask a rape victim to try to see their suffering may not have been the fault of the person who did that to them. Struggling to understand abusive parents should be the job of a court appointed therapist and struggling to justify their behavior should be the job of the parent's defense attorney.

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

An example I found was people that were traumatised(I guess), wanted more idel lives for their kids. So they created a "safe space" and tried to be free(for the kids) of negative emotion... but his inadvertently did harm. They did not mean harm. But caused a situation with lack of stimulation... exactly because they were trying to keep the child(ren) safe. I suppose I guess they took the idealism too far. The child did not make eye contact or care much about people, or if you called him when lost in the shop... But with informal but dedicated play sessions and someone that loved them, the chikd quickly made eye contact(2weeks) and then progressed quite fast... learning new words and in enriched situations he could orientate himself. Later the parents realized the potential once more( I think they might have been disempowered by the ASD diagnosis) and they took over all aspects of parenting and in the followinf decade+ did well. But I do think they got there inadvertently. But I also do think they weren't innocent... but they did not know. They were trying to prevent trauma!! There are two times when trauma happens: "When something happens that shouldn't happen and when something doesn't happen that should happen" This is roughly a quote by I don't know who but Dr.Mate have used it. (if you need the link I can look for it) But I would like to take up a discussion or maping out of the blame... of getting there innocently... and then how to help ashamed parents... that realize they are busy... being in need of help... but with no-one to turn to... How to show them the way ...a way. Play saved the child. -my motto. Cornelius.

[@jewelciappio]

Untreated and undiagnosed mental illness in adults can lead to neglect of children. Many times, the adult has no idea they are emotionally and physically impaired until it’s too late.

[@KD-ou2np]

@@jewelciappio this is exactly what happened with my parents... but you know what, its weak and pathetic to take your issues out on your kids, and nobody ever forced my parents to have them. Fuck them.

[@AliciaGuitar]

Neglect is not always from being bad, evil parents. I became disabled after i had children, and was often too sick to care for them as i wanted. Their father became extremely abusive so we had to escape him and make it on our own. I did the best i could to protect them, but it was not enough. Thats what he is talking about. Not parents who rape and beat their kids. Sometimes even good well-meaning parents fail.

[@Sarablueunicorn]

You were spot on! You go to a freaking therapist and they have exactly the same speech like "you should see from your parents perspective", "sometimes parents do bad thinking they are doing good", "yeah they harmed you badly but it's time to forgive", "maybe it wasn't their fault they just were going through a bunch of stuff". Now take a rape victim to a therapis and try to use the same speech "you should forgive your attacker they didn't know better", "I know he hurt you but he in his mind he was just doing his best", OR BETTER "I know he raped you in the past! But he's not raping you anymore right? So how's your relationship now? What about getting along now". I'm boiling in rage!!!

[@gabrielnicolae9583]

Cazul lui Daniel nu este singular. Neglijarea emoțională se întâmplă și astăzi în unele orfelinate din România. Din păcate, nu se acorda atenția necesară acestui subiect. Fiecare se descurcă cum poate. Este trist.

[@user-bd9uo8dw3j]

I was to two orphanages in SK. Were in “foster care” in SK before orphanages. I came to the States and had 3 American families. 2 adoptions and lived in foster care. It took many years of healing from trauma. My last family was a house of horror with child slavery to abuse. For those that are reading this, there is hope. Never give up.

[@sinjinmonsoon9055]

I had a ' mom ' that would drug us with cold medicine . When I got to be about 4 I was beaten and abused so badly I was too scared to do anything. Today I'm riddled with autoimmune disease and I lead a very solitary life because of that woman. I would have rather been sent to an institution where I might have had a chance.

[@sprouts]

🙏

[@SiljeMeum]

Absolutely dreadful. All too true, but horrible. If you see kids struggle, call the right instances. It's not about the adults pride, or your own pride, it's always about the children

[@Justdoing185]

I want to talk with you would you please give your spcial media id

[@aDm219]

If you see kids struggle what they do? Make sure you struggle even more so you be damaged for life. Thanks society. No one to be trusted.

[@Hawthorneowl]

As a elderly now I can see why trauma thru physical abuse, emotional abuse can place a child in survival mode, especially when going through school, your school grades suffer your trust in people is destroyed.

[@jvharbin8337]

I am so LUCKY to have my Memaw. That's the 1 thing I got that the children in this video didn't. I got to establish that 1 relationship. Thank you God.

[@kop7125]

I just notice that I neglected everything and did not use my own thoughts to stop it from happening causing stress to be toxic to me. I wish there were more videos like this to explain every pain.

[@suryatejas3013]

You probably neglected things as a result of self-preservation.

[@wolfwolf2347]

Well, I don't know if what i have been through is neglect but i just want to write this here. I am the youngest of my Family, a family of 7 members including father and mother, 3 sisters and a brother. I am from a third-world Arab/muslim country and i consider my family religiously conservative. I was born 10 years after my older sister, and 16 years after the oldest of my sisters. i was born when my mom had 38 years and when father had 48 years. I belong to a different generation than my parents and sisters and brother. I won't say that i was beaten or neglected, but there was a lot of conflicts in the family and a lack of communication, Father was a teacher, always asking for quiet, silence, and order in the house, he was always in a bad mood and angry, also, he always avoids spending money on the family and every time i ask for something, the answer was: "you have a roof and 3 meals a day, consider yourself lucky you little one". And mom just confirms that story, to avoid problems...I don't remember my father taking me to the park or the beach or complimenting me about anything. Mom worked for some years but left work and stayed at home, she was warm and loving but she was so demanding, provocative ad narrow minded. And since i was the youngest, my sisters and brother always tried to impose their ideas on me and control every aspect of my life, every one of them had his own personality and they didn't bother telling me false stories and pushing me to act in a way or another. I had anxiety and hyperactivity since my first years, well, I remember staying up at night thinking for hours about random stuffs, and it continued like that for years and years... Father didn't bother to kill the kitten that i had in my childhood because it made too much noise, i saw him pouring water on it and then smashing it. I had a dog, father refused to let the dog into the house garden, i was forced to put it in the neighbor's empty house in front of our house, i woke up one day in the morning and didn't find it, mom told me later that father took it to the woods and released it... Mom do not bother telling me lies and false stories, so i stop asking questions... With time i started questioning everything and always looking for more and more details even in a simple dialogue with a stranger in the street or a video on KZbin, i had severe trust issues since i don't trust what my family tells me and even more what other people tell, i question even what the teacher says in the class, i had no respect for no one and more importanty, i trusted no one. When i was a teenager, i was forced to study in a School that i don't want to spend time in, the staff was aggressive, bad and offensive. I also had problems with pupils there and started befriending bad guys for protection (although i consider myself better than them) and every time i talk about my problems to my family, i was told lies just to keep me in that school, i started smoking weed and i developing a destructive behavior (Spending nights out of the house, drinking alcohol, using anti depressants available in the street and weed and even auto-mutilation). and then at my 20s, comes depression, so from my 20s to 28s, it is a black hole, alcohol consumption, weed, unprotected sex and bad friends and a lot of music hopefully. the only thing that i was able to do and really helped me a lot is music, i learned guitar by myself at the age of 14. Now i am an independent professionnal musician and producer and that is the only thing that keeps me going now, age 32. Now i understand that my father had chronic Anxiety and depression, sometimes i feel sorry for the old man, seeing him spending too much time alone in the dark in the porch but i still hate him, i just talk to him if i need to and i am sharp with him and i don't feel sorry about that. I'm continuing my struggle, especially against Anxiety, i don't drink anymore, still smoking weed from time to time, the most important that i am a self-sufficient man right now. Found this video by chance, and all these memories just come back, just wanted to write it here, knowing that some people will read and that makes me feel better. Thanks and best wishes for all of you

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing this! I also wish you all the best!

[@ambo9569]

I wish you the best in life ❤

[@TheRelaxingExplain]

My condition is quite similar to you, I'm from Bangladesh and I'm 24 now, sending warm hugs buddy.

[@jaegrmeister]

I am at my mid 30s and I do not feel the need to procreate because of the harsh environment I was exposed to growing up. I fear that I will become my father or my mother if I become a parent and I do not want to pass any generational trauma to my offsprings. I want to be responsible to my own wounds and my own healing and bringing a child to this world full of suffering and hate is daunting. Even if I convince myself that I will not be like them, at some point, I might be. I do not want to take any chances because in the end, I do not want to hate myself the way I hated them. Their abuse dies with me.

[@sprouts]

Help us to reach more parents to learn about neglect and trauma: patreon.com/sprouts

[@timothydirig8843]

Praying for every child 😢 around the world 🗺 from every sexually abused child 🧒 and more whatever happened keep Praying 🙏 everyone everywhere everyday ❤❤❤

[@sprouts]

@@timothydirig8843 🙏

[@QueenOfPurpleGalaxies]

They never learn, they just throw us away like an empty bottle on the street, or a coffeetable that she needs to bring back to tthe store because it was not what she expected. It haunts me everyday. I hate her, I despite her, and I will never forgive her for the fact that she left me alone in this f'd up world.

[@Peekaboo-Kitty]

What you don't know is that Theft of food by the Staff working in the Romania Orphanages and Natal Hospitals was rampant. They stole the food that was meant to be given to the Orphans. I know that for a fact because my mother was there and saw it happening and she reported it. The Staff hated her and said no mother will be allowed to stay with her child in the Natal Care Unit ever again!

[@krystynakucaa3690]

To namawianie aby nie zakładać rodzin i nie mieć dzieci ,ludzie różnie traumy przeżywali:wojny,obozy,więzienia,kataklizmy,czy po II wojnie światowej ludzie nie chcieli mieć dzieci z powodu traumy? Nie możemy całe życie skupiać się tylko na sobie ,tyle będziemy mieć szczęścia ile damy drugiej osobie ,rodzenie dzieci to ofiarna miłość i naprawdę nie ma sensu się jej bać ze względu na wszystko.❤

[@skatergirl6764]

My mom has autism. So does my dad. My neglect didn't really become obvious to me until I watched my parents with my non. My mother has no sense when my son is non-verbally expressing a need. My son could be obviously hungry (changed mood, chewing on things, 3+ hours since he ate...) and even if I tell her "he needs to eat soon,' I'll often find her not getting down to the business of preparing a meal until her usual 'mealtime.' My husband was shocked to see this and so was I. It's no wonder I developed an eating disorder.

[@agricolaregs]

That’s rough. Awesome you have a supportive husband and that you can see what’s wrong and can prevent damage to your baby.

[@prenumbrastone8380]

You are lucky because autism is genetic and you could have it. 75% of chance.

[@annaturquoise7114]

My parents are exactly like this and I still barely ever feel like anyone in this world is safe. It’s been… a lot of time

[@user-mx7xd3pj1i]

I was emotionally neglected(discreetly) by loving parents who were unconscious of it. My mom died when I was a young child. My dad has always been low-key frustrated with me, as he thought he has given me everything I’ve asked for(material things). He’s not nearly as emotionally developed as I am. He’s been using drinking to cope since my mom died. But to this day(I’m approaching 30), I feel alone in this world in this combination of being emotionally neglected and spoiled at the same time. It may not sound that special of a trauma, but the weight of it drags me down each day and I only numb myself through food, sex, my phone, shopping to deal with it most of the time. And that’s a sure way to get me nowhere as an immigrant (not in the US).

[@lindac2554]

I became a Christian That changed me saved me

[@altheuss]

Im crying. Thank you for helping me realizing how much i needed love 💖

[@jerelord3342]

After reading through tons of comments i can see how many people have been hurt, and how the very same people are developing as better people and even better parents. I only hope that everyone who has been neglected in the development of their life can heal their injuries and can strive to be better than the ones who failed them.

[@floffy2695]

Honestly this is hard to swallow because my single mother was one of seven children and was probably neglected as well by her mother. Because she had to work to provide for me, I never received much emotional or physical affection from her, but my basic needs were always met and she is always good to me. Now I'm largely numb to feelings and tend to hide away because I've grown up alone and being alone was my comfort. But it feels awful to want more, knowing that my mom never had it herself and did the best that she could for me.

[@Annisa_Kacang]

I don’t see myself in this video but I watched it to see if I can see aspects of some of my siblings. I am one of six and I don’t think my parents could provide the attention each one needed and that some of my siblings could have been neglected. It’s also disheartening to see so many experiences of neglect in the comment section I hope you all are getting the help you need. 💙 Annisa

[@brendomiryr]

My parents had a toxic relationship and I was used as a pawn after they split. I was lied to and told my mother abandoned me when in reality I was basically taken from her and custody was fraudulently acquired by my dad who filed and had paperwork purposely sent to an incorrect address. My dad then raised me on these lies and abused me emotionally. It took me years to learn the truth and when the child support stopped rolling in I was kicked out of my dads house half way through my senior year of high school. The same person who made bogus claims of maternal abandonment then turned around and abandoned me. On top of all the mental and emotional trauma I struggled with autism which was ignored despite several teachers requesting that I get tested. I did not receive the help I needed and was essentially taught to believe I was broken from the time I could form memories. I’m 31 years old and only just now, after struggling through my 20s, peeling back they layers and getting help with my trauma. I am riddled with constant anxiety, and irrational fears of abandonment which affects my relationships. Healing feels impossible some days because my brain is hardwired to experience fear and distrust even when evidence shows that all is okay. I’m still working on it and I’m driven to heal and I will advocate till the day I die to protect children from monsters who hide behind the facade that they’re excellent parents.

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing this

[@cheshireket3132]

And people will still insist on having and abandoning their children. I've learned so much about the world.

[@SolaceEasy]

Familial neglect metastasizes into social apathy.

[@suryatejas3013]

Really well put, I have personally observed this in people.

[@SolaceEasy]

It is possible to overcome familial neglect, as many have done, as I have done.

[@thegoodgreekgirl2190]

i don't think you ever overcome family neglect. You find ways how to deal with it, but it is there, haunting you.

[@sunsetonsukkot]

This is why every school should have parenting classes , child development stage classes, psychological stages of childhood, classes, financial literacy classes for all school children starting in 8th grade. Since most kids will one day become parents, this should be mandatory ….such classes may also help students have an understanding about their own psychology.

[@Sebastiancrowe731]

i was adopted when I was 3 from Quito, Ecuador but experienced tremendous traumas. 4:12 broke my heart (attachment theory, a child needs to establish a loving relationship with one parent; I always had trouble feeling love towards my adoptive parents. They gave me the best life in NYC, but the worst part is my brain blocks out the memories and refuse to accept they raised me. I'm just now learning and unraveling my traumas, although very sad now I have more of an understanding.

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing this. All the best of luck 🤞

[@mslvc2011]

thank you for sharing your unique and important perspective. i start to understand why you feel the way you do.

[@ModestNeophyte]

I am neurodivergent and my father was disabled and always in excruciating pain; we were poor af between him getting fired and him actually getting on disability; i suffered SA and nothing was done about it except my mother crying croccodile tears in front of the cop when i called to get help. i was constantly invalidated and gaslit into believing that i was always asking for too much, when all i needed was the basic love and support that EVERY CHILD DESERVES. i'm now 39 and have BPD and ADHD, diabetes, chronic fatigue, can't work anylonger and still live at home... in fact.. i have to spend my time in the very spot my dad died.....

[@l.5832]

I don't like the statement that if you were neglected it may not be your parents' fault. if you were living with them, and they neglected you, it IS their fault. They could have asked for help. Parents who put up the front as being loving caring parents, and behind closed doors could not care less and treat their kids like a nuisance can be 100% blamed.

[@aDm219]

It could be not your parents fault. It could be outsiders and you being closed off not telling them.

[@l.5832]

@@aDm219 As I SAID: If you were living with them, and THEY neglected you, it IS their fault. Do try to read things as written. Anyone who neglects, it is the neglector's fault. But child care is primarily the domain and responsibility of parents so even if someone external was neglectful, it is STILL the parent's responsibility to intervene.

[@somber087]

I had an emotionally neglective relative who raised me without nurturing. They literally just fed me. All my worries and fears were hidden because I knew they would end up brushing them and they'd say I should stop being scared. Everytime I was wronged, they stood up for me. Everytime I was scared they'd keep me covered. I thought they were doing me favors but they actually brainwashed me into thinking comfort is always right. I grew to be emotionally numb, socially anxious and scared of facing situations all by myself.

[@TK-ij2xi]

It's such a small thing, but I have seen so many parent looking at their phone AS they push the stroller/grocery cart. Your child is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

[@Some1Philosophy]

So much gratitude for this channel, I could see a connection between messed up families and people who are attached by ego to the need to survive the mess, and while people who are more fortunate can be so evil toward those suffering childhood neglect, those who are less fortunate might be unable to differentiate between the mess's burdening demands and their own choices.

[@syntacc8462]

Being a victim of childhood neglect feels like being robbed

[@sprouts]

😞🙏

[@Carol-wh2qp]

I can some what relate to the young boy story. But a little different. I was placed in foster care in 6 grade moved around a lot most adults I live with didn't show me love or kindness . I was scared all alone and didn't understand and still don't understand how to socialize with any one . I never had any friends. I have all was made bad decisions. I think that having gone thought so much trauma. It has had negative lasting effects on how I feel , how others treat me and how I interact with the world. My emotions run rapid. I cause very difficult relationships. I didn't have anyone to help me work thought all the pain and hurt I felt as a child. Then I unintentionally repeated the cycle with my own kids. To my children I a so sorry for what I put you though . I wish I could take it all back . I was so stupid I really thought I was a good mom but was I so completely wrong. I love you my little men.

[@SevCaswell]

As a child I was more likely to be hit than hugged. My younger sister was the darling of the family and so I was constantly overlooked and my needs and desires ignored in favour of her. This ruined both of us. My sister is almost certainly a sociopath, she uses people and when she is done she tries to destroy them in the most insidious of ways. I was disagnosed in adulthood with autism, and suffer badly with anxiety and depression. I have a desperate need to be liked which has lead to being taken advantage of several times, so I generally avoid getting close to people because I am afraid of trusting them. All this because my father (my primary caregiver) was an angry alcoholic, who was phsycially and emotionally abused himself as a child.

[@vivianfoster702]

I’m a neglected child, and my mother was neglected, abandoned by her mother at eight years old. Grandma was horrible and just dumped two little kids at home in the village and neighbors looked in on them. My mother never hugged us, kissed us, played with us, read to us, comforted us or talked to us calmly. It was always being yelled at or threatened. As a teen, I could never ask for help. She would tell me it’s not her problem. I was a big nuisance to her. She’s old now and needs care. I have zero guilt putting her in a nursing home and leaving her there. She emotionally tortures me with guilt. I have horrible thoughts of being finally free of her. I will never have peace as long as she’s alive.

[@ladycalladhan5899]

Thank you so much for this videos that can help us understand pain and trauma. Can you please also talk about neglected sons and daughters by parents that were also neglected by their parents in the name of love, I mean, parents that never wanted intentionally hurt their kinds, but their unsolved traumas acted for them.

[@sprouts]

Yes, that is another important topic, thank you for suggesting, Lady C'alladhan!

[@crazylittleangel]

This. Both my parents were emotionally neglectful, but I know my father's behaviour came from a childhood of neglect himself. My mother had a wonderful childhood, her behaviour is because she's a narcissistic b-word. I don't talk to either of them any more.

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

Yes. I met people who in their Idealism protected their child from "bad emotions" and this seemed to be a type of the neglect. The child displayed Autistic Symptoms. But PLAY was an intervention that slowly brought him back to interactive life, talking, and then once again the parents parented. But after they initially lost the connection to the child they couldn't make the connection themselves. nor could they see the value of play... But looking back I hope they know: PLAY SAVED THEIR CHILD. *but they did not mean harm. But it happened. and a care giver that needed to care for others was drawn into the the trauma they incidentally caused. So while the Trauma was attended in this case... it was passed on diagonally, in unneccessary neglect of others parralell families. Where as if the parents had healthier views on parenting and parented their own child(ren) preparing them for life... then trans generational traumas wod have been stunted. The price of saving the one child, at the expense of four others... I won't say it was worth it. But know: PLAY SAVED THE CHILD. - it was a place to contextually learn sounds to experienced emotions... and learn to use them, even if the one defence was... "he is Utistic he doesn't understand" - with immersion and play he learnt the contexts experientially... he learned to trust... he learned to be. Ahem. Play saved the child. -Cornelius.

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

Thanks Lady Callahan. Good point.

[@mariomaniac581]

My parents had me in a time of their lives where they my dad was hardly able to sustain himself financially, and my mom, who suffers from borderline, just lived off him. She smoked a lot of weed during pregnancy, causing me to have withdrawal symptoms at birth. My parents fought and argued a lot, causing me, at 3 or 4 years old, to squeeze myself between them, push them away from each other and just yell at them to stop! This went on until i was 5, when one day the neighbours called the cops on my mom. They needed 2 people to pin her on the couch, while she was screaming how she had the right to take her lighter, with me hiding under my covers. I got taken to the police station. And a group home afterwards, it was a room with a light blue crib and potty, so there must've been a baby there before me. I was told to get to bed immediately after arriving there, and the next day, without having seen any of my new home, everyone just pretended this was normal I live here now. This started a cycle of moving at least once or twice every year, to group homes with around 10/20 different kids and staff members. This went on until i got too old to be put by the kids, troubled teens, who often couldn't live at home because of aggression and/or drug use, so they put me with 2 people who personally run a home for people with mental disabilities. They. Were. Brutal! I was 16, wanted to study after school, but they ran a restaurant with the people there. Keep in mind, one had down syndrome, one had the cognitive abilities of a 3yo, and then there was me, a troubled, but ambiguous 16yo, who didn't really take no for an answer. They had no idea how to take care of someone like that, they weren't used to clients talking back at them. So at one point they told my school i was sick, and left me in my room for over a week, until i agreed to work at their restaurant. After i ran away one too many times, i got to live at a farm with 2 people who let a group of troubled kids sleep over there in the weekends. They meant well, but the man who ran the place has serious anger issues! We had 2 dogs, and would often kick and or hit them as punishment. I eventually told them about my wish to study, get a job, ect as well. But they thought i didn't have the mental capabilities, so the guy took me to a sheltered workplace for people with disabilities. That evening i told him i appreciated his efforts, but it wasn't really what i was looking for. He. Was. FURIOUS!! He screamed stuff like ''DO YOU REALLY THINK Y O U CAN GET AN ACTUAL JOB?? ALL YOU CAN DO IS CLEAN OUR STABLES, CLEAR DOG POO OF OUR LAWN, AND TASKS LIKE THAT! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN F*$K OFF TO THAT GROUP HOME!!! I was sent to bed, and was really upset, so i called my dad the next day, who i always had a excellent relationship with. I told him about what happened, and my dad, understandably got worried. So he called them to ask ''hey, what on earth is going on there??''. Which caused them to get both angry at me and my dad, to the point when i was just sitting in the living room, the guy bursts open the door, and kicks the $hit out of me. Afterwards his wife tries to gaslight me by pointing out how sorry he is, and how i did kinda cause this. And eventually they gas lit me into believing that my DAD was the bad influence of all people, and made me cut contact with him. It turned out that, since her daughter died in a tragic accident at 25 or so, she hoped to replace her with me, and my dad was just getting in the way. I eventually had to leave, cus i got into trouble for snooping around on the deep web, which lead to a police search.. In 1 day i went from me, to a monster! A gross, vile human being they can't even stand to look at. They'd much rather send me to a homeless shelter right away, but legally couldn't. So i ended up in a crisis home, with one very muscular, and very aggressive man, and one guy in his late 20s early 30s who didn't do anything all day but stay in his room and smoke weed. Eventually i got taken in by an organisation for people with mental disabilities, and got send to a group home for elderly women with severe mental disabilities (they all wore diapers, and only 2 of the 6 could speak full sentences). I turned 18 there, moved to another group home, with one man who can't yell (and i mean yell) more than 3 words per sentence, another man with down syndrome, and an elderly guy with the cognitive ability of a 10yo. The youngest after 18yo me is 45 or something. In 2 weeks i'm moving to a training facility for independent living. Where I'll learn to cook, clean, and take care of myself. Wish me luck

[@sprouts]

I wish you all the luck in the world 🍀 🙏 ❤️

[@janetwhite7786]

Mario, you sound like you have all your faculties working 5x5 (military for just right). Hold your head up. You've already conquered more shit than some do in a lifetime. Best of luck to you, sir.

[@mariomaniac581]

@@janetwhite7786 Thanks a lot for reading my whole sob story. Really appreciate it! Lots of love to you as well!

[@himani9902]

I just want to ask how are you doing now? Are you okay?

[@mariomaniac581]

@@himani9902 I could be far worse, thanks a lot for asking! 💗

[@MegaPankita]

Yes neglect is ALWAYS the parents /caretakers fault. Its their responsibility. So simple. Dont get It twistet, and make excuses for them. They are disgusting humans for neglecting an innocent Child. Dont care if they themselves had a bad upbringing. Then dont pass it off. That is part of the responsibility.

[@RepentImmediately]

Exactly

[@ambitioussoprano]

My godsister was neglected by her mom... and it's a miracle that she is now healthy and happy and has a close rship with her dad and his fam as well as my mom and I. It's what has helped her be a gold medal gymnast and straight A student.

[@jennyneon]

Having depression, suicidal thoughts & anxiety is not fun at all, I have 3 of those ever since I was 7 & itʼs a living hell *every single day.*

[@sprouts]

I bet. I'm so sorry to hear that.

[@jennyneon]

@@sprouts You make it feel better with your videos tho, love you.

[@suryatejas3013]

@@jennyneon Yeah man. these videos by this channel really give a way to look into your own brain and mind. Amazing work by them and take care of yourself.

[@JasonMcGarva]

I bet you carry some powerful medicine in you that can be of great help to others. Have you considered going to The Moth or Toastmasters and sharing your stories?

[@jennyneon]

@@JasonMcGarva Well, I am 15 now, but the thing is that I'm French, like born & raised & still living in France.