Chinese Dining Etiquette

10 dos and don'ts when having a Chinese meal!
TIMESTAMPS:
0:21 - Seat of honor
1:10 - How to order
2:07 - Where to place your chopsticks
2:39 - When someone poured you tea
3:49 - Don’t chew with your mouth open
4:07 - How to eat fish
4:58 - The proper way to ask “Do you want rice?”
5:39 - How to give a toast
6:05 - Where to place your hands when eating
6:50 - How to pay the bill
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[@user-ed2rv8he7s]

As a chinese in Malaysia, we don't really follow these rules strictly although some of us knew these rules, except for the way you place your chopsticks, we all agree that do not stick them in the middle of the rice, it's for ghost( I mean if you believe in ghost). Other's rules, we don't really apply them in daily life, it kind of "inconvenient" haha. Yeah, nice video to introduce some of the traditional chinese culture!

[@ebucwalter]

In America, we have these kinds of rules, too! The ones you're supposed to do to be polite, and the ones everyone does. Napkin in lap, elbows off the table, let the host eat first. Haven't been in a formal situation in a while, so I have forgotten some!

[@tomeu9872]

Because it resembles joss-sticks to pray for the dead.

[@alisonkempster4229]

@@tomeu9872 Thank you, Tomeu. This sort of knowledge is the stuff that gets lost over generations and so now, we have no idea why X, Y and Z of our culture is as it is. Thank you for preserving this nugget by sharing it - even if it's to random strangers on KZbin; it's still keeping this little piece of cultural knowledge out there, somewhere :)

[@ayemunaymessiah598]

2:02 had me in tears 😂 It’s interesting because a lot of dining etiquette is the same in my Asian culture apart from some of the specifics like the position of tea glasses and hand placement when eating. Informative as always!

[@mariannezhang784]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@QuizmasterLaw]

5 English speaking countries also regard mouth open while chewing as super rude. It's acceptable in some cultures, but since it's never impolite in any culture to chew with your mouth closed this is THE go-to move for any diplomat. Always chew with your mouth closed.

[@mariannezhang784]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@abigailbaxter5530]

I love the music in the background and your way of explaining things! Thank you :)

[@Wenxuemei]

You didn't mention we are not allowed to eat until the eldest one begins. And the younger ones must wait for their turn. I really hated this table manner when I was young. It doesn't matter anymore now 😁

[@ispeakmandarin]

The rules is mainly for formal occasions, for family members, not really

[@wiscogod262]

This is going to be the best channel for learning Chinese soon... always entertaining and informative

[@jxf9458]

U r awesome,so authenticatis both Chinese and English. Thank you

[@gabrielasteinmetz1928]

I love your videos! :D Here in Brazil eating with your mouth open is also considered very rude - it's so cool to know there are similarities between Chinese culture and Brazilian culture

[@ChinesewithJessie]

Wow that's good to know! Also I love your name, sounds elegant and beautiful💗

[@mpforeverunlimited]

It's not really favorable anywhere. In some places it's not rude, but most places are disgusted by the sight of chewed up food

[@adeshrai3042]

In Nepal too, its rude to eat with mouth open

[@tonyyul703]

@@ChinesewithJessie I hope you do more Martial Arts movies

[@gillmsnfillman1691]

I think that’s universal

[@QuizmasterLaw]

I hope someone in the MFA notices you, this is really good.

[@mariannezhang4870]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@cocoanutte]

Jessie, a wonderful video with lots of info. Suggestion: Is it possible to add all the Chinese character examples used in the videos in the video description field?

[@kdefensemartialarts8097]

Thank you for your videos.

[@QuizmasterLaw]

Added to playlist "Chinese for Diplomats" Although it is true I prefer straight hair and short hair this hairstyle really suits you! You look great with feathered bangs.

[@QuizmasterLaw]

2:02 Wolf it down warrior diplomat

[@mariannezhang784]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@mikehong2691]

Jessie!-I Bought-Both Chinese&Japanese Chopstick Holders!&They Are Both-USEFUL!-Raymond "Mike" Hong!&(Jessie!-I Love-Your Videos&They Are Informative&Useful-Too!-Mike!)😎👍!!!!!!!!!

[@jeromelubabalojacobs8872]

I so needed this as I want to move to China

[@ispeakmandarin]

You should choose the right province where the food you are use to

[@Phoca_Vitulina]

Thanks for the insight!

[@0805gg]

Steamed fish over sweet and sour fish any day for me 🤤

[@mksyazwan815]

Yeah we asian love sharing our food.. thats make we more close with people or our friends..

[@dahur]

Cute, smart and funny...!

[@michaelheliotis5279]

I think you missed an important one: if you're the guest, you shouldn't eat the last of the food as it implies that the host didn't order enough food to satiate you, which is awkward and embarrassing for him, so it's polite to leave some behind even if you're still hungry. That's why the 1.2x to 1.5x guideline exists, because the host is supposed to order enough food so that all the guests will be full and don't have to pretend that they aren't hungry.

[@JimPlaysGames]

Ironically over here it's considered rude if you don't finish the food you're given. It implies you didn't like it.

[@spartan.falbion2761]

Sorry, I would rather satisfy my hunger than pander to the host´s "heart of glass".

[@haleya9510]

Something that happened several times when I stayed in China is that the host would order more food long after everyone had stopped eating! Such a waste.

[@angelelida4680]

What do you do RE tea if you don’t know how is superior or equal etc. to you?

[@tinyhowie]

In my family, the seat of honor is the one facing the TV.

[@a9nh]

😂😂😂

[@alisonkempster4229]

I wonder where the seat of honour would have faced before the advent of TV - and radio? In our tiny household, that would be considered the worst seat! We don't have a television because we choose to spend our time doing other things. I know that puts us in the tiny minority in a developed country.

[@stapler942]

What is the protocol regarding food allergies? I don't have them but a relative does. Just curious mostly.

[@unoriginal1086]

In western culture it's usually just people above you who do group toasts also. Usually not someone new. But toasts are very formal, at least in my culture, anyways.

[@1mataleo1]

I’m glad that chewing with your mouth open is considered rude in Chinese culture; I didn’t know that. I hate loud chewers. It takes all the control I have not to reach across the table and punch them in the face. It just makes my blood run cold and is one of the few sounds/habits that truly annoys me. So now I can add this to the long list of things that I love about Chinese culture!

[@smezhooh8452]

Nice

[@mariannezhang4870]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@1mataleo1]

What are the Chinese characters for chewing with your mouth open? I wanted to put them in google translate so I can look up the meaning. Thanks

[@marcellacella8293]

Nice video

[@manifbaker]

Haha YES!!! Sweet and sour fish fking rules 🤩🤘🏻

[@QuizmasterLaw]

Chinese people hold the bowl so as to prevent food from falling from their chopsticks all over the place. Unfortunately, holding the bowl and especially drinking from a bowl is considered rude in English culture. Drinking from the bowl is totally ok in France! You can get away with it in Russia, though because your Russian counterpart will know the rule in England I wouldn't risk it at a public function. Go to move? Don't drink out of the bowl. Even Chinese people have soup spoons.

[@manningbartlett522]

I agree it's rude in Britain, but it is perfectly OK in Australia, and also the USA I believe (I will let an American correct me if necessary, but whenever I have been in the USA people don't seem to mind).

[@Christina-ih5gq]

It makes sense to not say Yao fan. I was just corrected whenever I said that and told to say “mi fan” instead when it relates to eating the rice

[@ispeakmandarin]

Yao fan literally means get food, but in most cases, it means beg for food, it's for beggar

[@nationalparkes2469]

Would these rules be the same it Taiwan as well?

[@mariannezhang4870]

Yes most of them are similar. I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@nolongeramused8135]

This just too complicated. But people eating with their mouth open are despised everywhere in the world.

[@LunaticReason]

Canadian born Chinese. I was rasied in a more Western upbringing so I rarely have to deal with this sort of thing unless its dinner with relatives. I know generally the youngest has to serve tea or food to the elders but I sometimes forget or I am distracted anyways my older brother starts getting on my case about it which made me look bad and also upset me a lot. He's calling me rude but what I found that he was doing to me was ruder. I dont mind serving but he put me in a spot that made me feel like I was being pressured and bullied to do something. From a Chinese perspective what do you think? I dont usually go for the social pretenses and ceremony so when my relatives tell me to eat ill eat not thinking about the fact that they should eat first. I genuinely think they dont care either nice if i do but they werent gonna get upset at me like my brother was. Absolutely ruined my dinner I was so mad. I had trouble eating being anxious about who should eat first and how much.

[@alisonkempster4229]

Well, I could just say "Grow up!" but, think about why your brother was mad at you. He - probably correctly - thinks you are embarrassing yourself and your parents by implying you have been badly brought up by either not knowing polite manners or being so selfish and rude as to know them but ignore them because you can't be bothered to be polite. Try and think of things younger kids do that annoy you because it's something discourteous and selfish; that might help you understand that's how it feels to people around someone who doesn't display good manners - whatever their age.

[@alisonkempster4229]

How do you eat the other side of the fish!!! Now I'm stuck only eating half the fish!😯 But, thank you A LOT for explaining what to do with the spare hand! I've never known what to do (in Chinese restaurants). I try to get etiquette cues by subtly watching other, Chinese, diners; but then I have to judge whether they look like they are well-mannered or not! (Eek! Difficult calculation, fraught with cultural judgement issues!😶🤣)

[@starsgazer1000]

You remove the bone starting from the tail end and just move the entire thing to the side.

[@kaceydillin7367]

2:02 LOL

[@carlblix7794]

I'm not chinese, but number 5 really should be the international standard.

[@lucasfilipe7664]

3:58 in Brazil it's rude too

[@mariannezhang4870]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@QuizmasterLaw]

A key aspect of diplomatic dining is in fact Not eating... then you can't spill anything, or do other rude things. Eat a small meal Before the event, pick at the food, claim to be dieting. The only person that can get offended if you don't eat is .. the cook. The cook's not a diplomat, you can offend him or her.

[@osmanshah5046]

That doesn’t work on Arabs. If you don’t eat as a guest that means you are declaring enmity or have some ill intention towards the host. It’s from the reaction of Abraham to the two angels who refused to eat. They had to reassure him that angels don’t eat and they were not sent by God as guests but to inform him that God had decided to destroy Sodom and Gammorrah

[@QuizmasterLaw]

@@osmanshah5046 Thank you very much! I did not know that. I don't work on Middle East issues but lots of people do. I will remember what you teach me. Thank you.

[@osmanshah5046]

@@QuizmasterLaw if the other person is a foreigner they will probably understand that he doesn’t know the culture🤷🏻‍♂️…sometimes. I’ve seen different reactions

[@davidlulkin5502]

Loving your videos, but I was hoping this video would help with my major etiquette quandary that, unfortunately, you did not address. I've been eating a lot of Sichuan food recently, and have been eating more of the dishes where the cut bones remain in the meat, such as frog, chicken feet, small pieces of ribs, and even chicken cooked with bone. I'm unsure how I'm supposed to eat a small piece of food that is over 50% bone. It's easily small enough to pick up with chopsticks, under 1" in most cases, but I'm unable to discern what the proper dining technique is. I'm unable to hold the food steady in chopsticks while attempting to pull the flesh from the bone. I just rip it out of the chopsticks and it dangles from my teeth. Obviously bad. If I place the entire piece in my mouth, I'm unable to manipulate it to get the meat off the bone. I spend about 90 seconds moving it around my mouth, then I remove it to a napkin and find almost all the meat is still there. Am I supposed to hold these pieces in my fingers? Is that acceptable?

[@alisonkempster4229]

I share your pain!😆 I wish someone would give us the answer!

[@inevespace]

In my experience many Chinese don't follow half of it. Especially I laugh about chewing with open mouth. It's one of the most annoying thing. Slurping and burping people are everywhere.

[@mariannezhang4870]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@kurtkilby1127]

Yeah agreed. I've even had it explained to me that Chinese peoole eat with their mouth open to show they're enjoying the food. maybe a regional thing? Where'd you live? I lived in the north east of China

[@confach]

Same here, almost 90% of all Chinese people I've met were chewing with their mouth open, like really loud, occasionally burping, too. Most of them were from the North, so I guess there's really something going on with the regional manners

[@trendqiang3921]

@@confach What she talks about is traditional Chinese etiquette (elite etiquette), which the lower classes generally do not follow (especially after the founding of New China)

[@trendqiang3921]

@@confach But if it is a traditional big family (the elders are very traditional)then they will pay great attention to these etiquettes (regardless of class) during formal banquets.

[@QuizmasterLaw]

8. Lower glass for lower status person is also correct in Europe. However, Look That Fucker Right in the Eye no matter your station. This shows you are not servile and are friendly.

[@phonepup06]

I think it’s only right for the host or person that invites someone out pays.

[@adeshrai3042]

here in Nepal eating with mouth open is appropriate and rude. when we see someone doing that we say 'sunggurle charo khako jasto ke khako' which mean eating like a pig. while eating mouth open, chewing sound is similar to how pig eats.

[@1mataleo1]

I hate it too. It’s one of the few things that I absolutely can not stand.

[@chocchipcookiegirl]

I'm an ABC watching this just in case lolll

[@annabelgrace1267]

With the Western dining culture, you spoon the soup away from you, and then bring the spoonful back to you, in order to prevent drips on your clothes and sip from the side of the spoon, quietly. I would like to know the proper way to drink soup and have soup style Asian desserts in the Chinese culture. Do you do the same and with the Chinese soup spoon?

[@mpforeverunlimited]

This is kind of funny considering chinese tourists reputation in Asia and Europe. Not much attention is put towards dining and overall manners in other countries

[@Spish0]

EDIT: Just asked my mom and she doesn't really care about ordering 4 dishes and thinks it's okay. And it's actually 7 dishes not 9 that they avoid. Leaving original comment below. (Original comment): Also avoid ordering 4 dishes, and don't order 9 dishes as well. 4 is bad for obvious reasons and my family avoids ordering 9 because that's the number of dishes there are for a Chinese post funeral meal

[@mariannezhang4870]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@jeffreysommer3292]

5:33 (Reaches for Chinese dictionary)

[@supersuperguo]

More that are too common sense for Chinese so that they forget to tell: 0. It's common to see one person to order all dishes, and sometimes without asking others. 1. All the dishes are shared, and hardly any one could have a private dish. 2. It's OK to spit bones without covering your mouth. 3. Do not eat or swallow bones in fish or meat if you cannot. 4. It's common to see one Chinese to treat all others at the table. 5. It's common to split a bill evenly rather than calculate it accurately.

[@alisonkempster4229]

Thank you for more info. I love learning these etiquette points. It gives more understanding that's useful when I'm watching Chinese families eating near me in a restaurant. I can't understand what they're saying (even it were not rude to listen to someone else's conversation!) so this gives just a peek into another culture; so interesting!

[@supersuperguo]

@@alisonkempster4229 Exception: In fast food restaurants, Chinese tend to order their own dishes each theirselves, since the offered combo sets are designed for individuals, if not for couples. More explains about No.4 & 5. No. 4 often occur when someone is celebrating for some reason (e.g. promoted or birthday), or a leader is performing a team building, or it is a family date. No. 5 occur more often when they are friends or acquaintances(e.g. on an outdoor activity, or just a hangout).

[@ericpalacios920]

Jessie: how do you ask someone if they want more rice Me: 你要米飯嗎？ Jessie: don't say 要飯 that's for beggars 😡 Me: 😰 Jessie: instead use 要米飯 ☺️ Me: 😇

[@ispeakmandarin]

要饭 in most cases is for beggars

[@isabo3556]

In western culture, everyone is the same. How would I know if I´m "higher" or "lower" than someone else when dining with Chinese people?

[@starsgazer1000]

If you don't know your ranking in society, then you are low ranking.

[@isabo3556]

@@starsgazer1000 Like I said, low or higher ranking is an azian concept. We are all the same. The whole notion of one person being higher or lower than the other is weird to Western people. In my case European.

[@MattAndImprov]

"Parents in law" would usually be phrased as just "in-laws" when speaking English.

[@patrickfain9318]

I think I’ll skip dinner 😊

[@mischievousjr.9299]

3:49 dammit i really was hoping to win an argument with some guy. Said that he was annoyed with me making noises. I sad that some Asians cultures not only allow it but encourage that smacking. I think i got it confused with slurping noodles.

[@QuizmasterLaw]

6 This one literally ruined a date for me. wtf am i supposed to do with the bones. She was a diplomat. POWERKILL MOVE.

[@marcusnesha4266]

Wait 👀 so you don't eat the next side of the fish???👀👀👀👀👀

[@ChinesewithJessie]

You can lift the bone and eat that side

[@marcusnesha4266]

@@ChinesewithJessie phew okay lolol thanks

[@ashw6015]

Well now I'm confused. Which of these rules are actually commonly observed? Because Chinese is literally the only culture I've ever known where it's ridiculously common to eat with your mouth open. Like 90% of people from the mainland and HK that I've met both in and outside of China act like this, even the few rich ones I've known. It's so prevalent that you see westerners accidentally pick up this habit after living there for a while...

[@RenoTrader]

Can I just eat...

[@jckbquck]

It’s called “family style”…..

[@QuizmasterLaw]

9. Unused hand can Always go on the lap, that's universal. But in some cultures it can go on the table (Germany, Russia, maybe France) in others (Fuck England) keep the hand off the table.

[@liuzhou]

It's not "knock FOR three times". That is Chinglish. It is just "knock three times".

[@justsomerandomguy7693]

Actually eating with your mouth open is not really culture it's just plain disgusting Probably bcs it's also very rude in Australia

[@marco_evertus]

Welp, I'm glad in most business meetings I'm the boss coz I would hate to be the employee that screwed up...now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go be an asshole to my employees if they don't follow traditions.

[@mariannezhang784]

Hi! I have a similar video too if you want to check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHjOqmqZipaVhdU

[@jimsabo1189]

No offence but don’t worry about being polite around Chinese if you are western. The chopstick thing mind you is universal in Asia and what civilized person needs to be told to not chew with an open mouth. Maybe should have mentioned it’s culturally expected to treat the serving staff at the restaurant like dogs. Living in Vietnam I’ve never encountered a ruder group of people than Chinese tourists.

[@anthonymuchai6689]

But all Chinese chew with their mouth open. .. Honestly ..

[@ispeakmandarin]

Not all, it depends on many things

[@invsg5072]

你是如此美丽。我能见见你吗?

[@mischievousjr.9299]

Can I eat with my mouth open? Can i smack on my food? I love eating and smacking my food because i feel like i grt more flavor.

[@SalvableRuin]

If it is rude to chew with your mouth open in Chinese culture, why do I always see only Chinese people doing it?

[@ispeakmandarin]

It depends on areas, status etc. Some Chinese strictly follow these rules, their children would be scolded if make sound when they are eating

[@gregmuon]

Chewing with your mouth open is also totally rude in western culture. My mom would have been furious if I did that!

[@tomeu9872]

I destroyed all these traditions. Common sense was most important. I sat closest to the kitchen, only because i'm the one going to & fro. Even my grandmother does not dare challenge me. To my Chinese brethren. If you see something in Chinese culture that makes no sense. Challenge the concept, not the person.