CHIT CHAT: My Experiences with Col0rism & T3xturism

[@SharmaineJoyel]

The title is purposely spelled with numbers in hopes of not being demonitized. Please feel free to share your experiences below!

[@uarestrong76]

the fact that education about colorism and texturism leads to demonization is RIDICULOUS

[@SharmaineJoyel]

@@uarestrong76 RIGHT! Wouldn't that be considered against freedom of speech? I believe other KZbinrs have spoken out about it.

[@prissymcc]

@@uarestrong76 Yes, but it's Understandable because MANY Black Females hate Black hair so much that they fight against even using the language of hair typing. They rather pretend that hair type does not matter and should NOT be discussed. They will definitely Complain and get discussions like this shut down.

[@tzefirayah_700travelmore.]

Thank you for sharing and you're hair is absolutely gorgeous! Peace

[@sable7114]

Clever to do that.

[@TaylorKingLive]

I also believe biracial (black/white) children with black mothers tend to have a different experience than biracial children with white mothers.

[@tee5705]

MsCabaretTay Yes! I have also noticed that there is a difference when Black&White Biracial children and later adults when the mother is Black opposed to White.

[@mwan245]

What about biracial men with black dads? They seem to be more with black side then white side

[@AleSoosh]

As a white mother of mixed children, i agree. I tried my best to make my three daughters proud of themselves, i tried to educate myself on their father's culture, on different issues black or mixed women have to face, on how to take care of their hair ect. But i've seen a lot of people like me "forgetting" their child was not white and could face racism, or even being racist themselves by being negative about their hair etc. I never would have imagined a parent being racist to their child but some are... 😥 Also having three daughters and only girls, i believe it can be hard growing up not looking like your mother (well that's something a child realizes at a certain age) etc. Or not talking to your mother about things she hasnt live and doesnt understand...

[@michaelyciano2123]

MsCabaretTay for real.

[@AleSoosh]

@uwu i know, i'm not fluent in english sorry: i meant to talk about my daughter 's experience, they all look like their dad and at one point they all asked why i was not like them., when they were 4 or 5... I know in general mixed children can look like both their parents.

[@nzingalou7556]

I stan a biracial women who identities as biracial (and is proud of it) and who understands monoracial black womens struggles ❤️ You are so sweet and wonderful ❤️

[@tadiwachirima858]

Imani Louverture this!!!!! I was honestly so proud when she announced it and owned it. She is a real ally.

[@Mysticalala]

i seen you on femininity channels 😂 ur everywhere hun!

[@nzingalou7556]

mystical baby LOL YES MA’AM 😂😂

[@xxxmelissatacionxxx]

yes as a british biracial it’s really nice to see a US biracial stand her ground or not use one- dropping to her advantage. 💛

[@AbiDibObI]

Imani Louverture Sameee! Thank you for sharing your experience. I really enjoyed watching

[@neghiepean1530]

I hardly ever see biracial girls with hair texture like this. Love that you've embraced it.

[@TeKeyaKrystal]

yeah , I can't say I've met any ... maybe it's also less common to see b/c of the few that do have this texture , they probably straighten it how she once did

[@Cookie-zv3ni]

Neghie Pean come to KY. And when it’s the child of a black man that I know talk about black women, especially because of their “nappy” hair as he calls it I laugh every time I walk by them with their 4C haired child. KARMA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

[@thesweetestlaax8791]

I do all the time, a lot of them also relax their hair

[@MarNicole76]

My cousin is Italian and Jamaican with very light complexion with deep blue eyes and her hair is the exact texture and color of this KZbinr. Genetics 🧬 is something we have no control over and cannot tame. I think it’s wonderful how we can all look so different even coming from the same mother and father. It’s amazing.

[@chettaisbetta]

They perm or texturize it

[@lovemidnight6377]

As a fellow biracial woman I understand everything you said. My mom always told me growing up, " you are black, the world doesn't care that you have a white father, you are no better than anyone, especially other black girls, don't let me ever hear you saying your hair or skin is better and DON'T ever let me catch you calling someone dark, you are ever say that come home and look at your Mama!!!!" I am forever grateful for her lessons 🙏

[@Naturalista91]

Wow, now THAT'S how you do it, props to your mom ❤️

[@annalishagoring]

Hmm maybe the mixed race girl at school who called me a n word needed to learn that lesson also

[@BeatriceCaruso]

I can't imagine a world where she is not attractive... My mind is so blown right now... She is absolutely gorgeous!!!

[@samsungtv7924]

I know she looks like a model.

[@zimamonkey]

Seriously!!

[@quonya]

I know she's lovely.

[@shannonjohnson4314]

It exists for women with African features

[@jackseve]

Shannon Johnson Yes it does. ALL women of color experience it.

[@redvelvetcakeYUM]

People don’t tend to be disgusted with 4B/C hair, as long as it is long and thick! When it’s short it’s an automatic “your bald headed”.

[@seeyouagain911]

Or if it is on a girl that they find attractive.

[@purplegirl8036]

black people aren't disgusted with it.

[@AllThingsAniyah]

Purple girl trust me...some of them are sadly 😔

[@yougotgamesonyourphone6947]

Purple girl speaking from personal experiences,I’ve had more black people say nasty things about my hair than other races

[@nancybreaux9684]

@@purplegirl8036 they are more disgusted. You will get called nappy headed by your own before anyone has something to say.

[@princessleah187xx4]

It's funny because one of my best friends has a similar phenotype to you and while she doesn't experience colorism per say, she has experienced texturism like CRAZY. She had one bm tell her she was a "waste of light skin" because her hair did not "match" her skintone. Ughh.

[@08keikei04]

PrincessLeah187 xx wow that sounds like a son of a b* I hate those type of men. That’s why I’m very cautious when dating bm

[@shreksspawn2359]

@@08keikei04 there is a lot if great black men that are ashamed of these toxic black men that are being put on the fore front. Sorry for your experience.

[@08keikei04]

life hurts don't cry Yeah I know, love when My complexion and ethnicity are not the reason why they approach me.

[@jensylvestre3364]

i have that 4c 'so called don't match your skin' thing too. smh

[@recklessmermaid]

when i read "bm" my first thought was bowel movement and it took me a while to figure out what it actually meant. I think in this case i was right. anyone who would tell another human being that they're a waste of skin for the way they look is, in fact, a piece of shit.

[@j_bubblez279]

My mom called my hair nappy and had me get my hair relaxed at the salon since 6. I turn 18 and cut out my relaxer to find gorgeous hair. She just didn't know what she was doing. My hair was DRY, not NAPPY.

[@j_bubblez279]

@@sluaghsidhe8384 Nappy in my home meant that it was a burden. My mom would complain as if it was better to not have it. I internalized that up until high school because I live in an emotionally unsafe home. I almost ran away in middle school because I felt like everything I was turned into a burden. I see things differently now looking back. How life changes.

[@esedontworryabouttherest7482]

Right

[@j_bubblez279]

@Cara Macaan I found out later on it's because of how other adults reacted to girls with my hair back then. She still asks me to straighten my hair during important professional events but, its a work in progress.

[@tazariarobinson5666]

I relate to this so much. I’m 17 now and just going natural only difference is it’s not the “good” hair.

[@TheBlanketwer]

j_ bubblez same I only found out my real texture when I was 16 and I had the prettiest curls in the world

[@sophiaM5635]

Women need to stop placing their value on how attractive men find them..

[@kevinc3342]

Whether or not men find a woman attractive is not that important until you're an adult and seeking commitment, a serious relationship, and eventually marriage. A woman's looks/level of attractiveness is the PRIMARY factor that generates initial male interest. After looks and body type, a woman's other intangible qualities and personality traits are what holds male interest and gets women to commitment and beyond. After looks, men start to search for positive wife and mother traits that proves to them a particular woman is worthy of marriage - in much the same way women search for positive husband and father traits in men. By the way, women care about a man’s level of attractiveness as well. However, a smart woman will focus more on positive husband-father traits than whether or not a man has "model looks." / Women who care about how men perceive their looks/attractiveness have to exert effort to obtain male attention…if they in fact desire male attention and commitment. That means that women must be concerned about age/youth, beauty and attractiveness, fitness level and body type, and femininity. Looks coupled with femininity attracts masculine men who want a woman who looks, walks, talks, dresses, and BEHAVES as a feminine woman. That’s how it works, and it’s pretty much how it’s done. There is almost no way around this process if a woman is truly seeking marriage. Any woman who does otherwise and refuses to follow this basic format is shooting herself in the foot, and will be overlooked for women who actually care about their appearance/ For the record - the idea that "women need to stop placing their value on how attractive men find them" …is an unworkable situation. It’s essentially the same as saying that men should not be concerned whether women think they will be a great provider, protector, and family leader - all of which are basic traits that women find attractive in men.

[@CuteNq13]

It's human nature and something people have to grow to not care about. Obviously, she has. It's also not even just men, people tend to measure their attractiveness to society as a whole.

[@hexmaniacgabby5160]

Whether people find you attractive, I spent a long time basing my self worth on that it destroyed my self esteem.

[@sophiaM5635]

@@hexmaniacgabby5160 my dear you are so much more than your outter appearance. So glad you realized that and grew. There are men and women out there that look at deeper qualities in an individual. Those who base your worth off of your looks aren't worth getting to know in the first place.

[@kevinc3342]

@Otneimica That's not a wall of text - it's light work for me. I could easily write a 10 to 15-page paper on the subject of how women are getting passed over based on being lazy and uncaring regarding their looks and everything else. If your looks are crap, you get ignored for better women who put in the effort. That applies to men as well as women. / Besides - I covered basics...take pride in how you look...and have traits, qualities, good character, and a personality that makes you worthy of being someone's wife. How hard is that? If women need more "depth" for an explanation in how most men operate in this area, it’s because they’re too lazy to do the necessary work. If that's the case, they don’t deserve attention. If women’s actions indicate they don’t care whether or not men find them attractive, then men won’t care as well. It’s that simple. I’m fine with that.

[@dianacastillo8398]

I’m Dominican and I have really white skin but my hair is black and it’s just like her hair type 4B. I used to get made fun of a lot because many people think that all Latinas have long loose 3A curls or straight hair. Some people that I’ve encountered made fun of me and called me “a white African”, or “trying to be black”, or “being racist” because they thought I was wearing a wig to make fun of black people because of my white skin and huge afro. Even I had family members telling me that Afros only belong to darkskin people and I need to straighten it. It made me sad because all I tried to do was appreciate my natural hair and avoid relaxers and I wasn’t being racist, I WAS BORN WITH THIS HAIR💀. However, having natural hair helped me love myself more and be more connected with my African ancestors. 3 years natural and counting..💪🏼

[@stevietstevens9384]

I'm sorry for your pain. Sounds like a play to me - write it sis and make some $ then see how they act. stevietstevens.wordpress.com

[@sillycheese301]

People are just ignorant. You need to tell them next time!

[@dianacastillo8398]

Ashes to Ashes awww thank u so much. Not gonna lie, if it weren’t for the black community, I wouldn’t even know how to take care of my natural hair. They taught me so much about African history and the beauty behind African hair. It breaks my heart that so many people treat black people so badly just bc of their skin and hair.

[@alisond.b.5071]

I can relate to your struggle as a mixed girl with pale skin and a big afro. It's fucking hard sometimes! Thankyou for sharing 💛

[@laryleidys]

Same with me. Dominican too and I used to get the same comments when i was little. So my mom relaxed my hair. I wish i could have my natural hair back.

[@doyoumissming]

There is no excuse to mistreat anyone. Just because someone was mistreated by a biracial person doesn't make it right to mistreat all biracial people. Growing up I saw dark people getting mistreated and I also saw mixed people mistreated. "This Blacks don't like mixed or biracial people think they are superior to blacks mess needs to stop; it is a vicious cycle. We tend to do what other groups do to us, stereotyping and being prejudice. We are all different. I am a deeper shade of black and I got mistreated by blacks and mixed people. But they are the problem, not all brown-skinned or lighter skinned people are like that so I treat people as individuals. I am sick of the finger pointing and the ignorance within our race. I think that your hair is absolutely gorgeous. I am trying to get my hair to stay up like an afro. Sorry that you have to deal with ignorance.

[@rachybaby72]

A-men.

[@rachybaby72]

@Yvonne Blake The subject is not going away because people are obsessed with wallowing in grievance and self pity.

[@ahms8689]

This isn't just a black issue. Im British Born Chinese and it's the same for us. The lighter you are the more "attractive" you're supposed to be. Unfortunately for me, I'm dark. I found this an ugly trait from the Chinese and married a pasty (Scottish heritage, freckled and red hair which I found beautiful! Of course this wasn't my husband's experience). I think being born in London puts me at an advantage because everyone's different here and so therefore it's just normal. If that makes sense. I think you're beautiful and I'm not just saying that. I find it unbelievable that you've experienced what you've experienced! There can't be that many ignorant ppl?! You need to be in London, men would be beating down your door. Race is a funny thing as is culture. I remember working at McDonald's when I was at uni and we'd run out of hot chocolate. I told the guy that we'd run out and he angrily asked if it was because he was black. I was quite upset the whole shift after that. I had 2 managers which were black women back then. One was Nigerian and the other British. Diane was her name. I looked up to her because she was articulate and a force to be reckoned with and well spoken (I was in the East End and therefore spoke with a cockney accent). Diane's degree was half American related. She therefore spent some time in the US for part of her course, in the deep South. I was studying Maya Angelou at the time and race was a big thing for a young person starting out in the world. Diane said she never was treated as a black women like she was in the UK. She said she was seen as a English person in the US which is why i feel the racism in the US is so muddled up with your history. I think I've gone off on a tangent. My point I'm making is that racism is everywhere and so is sexism, this was what I went to university because I believe we live in a white male world. But in the UK, our flavour of racism seems to be different. Discrimation is never pleasant and it impacts us so drastically. I hope the love for yourself and in your marriage heals your wounds. Thank you for sharing your life.

[@doyoumissming]

@@ahms8689 I lived in Japan for a few years. Also visited the Philippines. The darker the skin usually means that you are poor or a field worker, while fairer pale skin is a higher social status; this happens in a lot of countries. It is such a terrible belief system that is passed down through generations.

[@antoinettemosley312]

Amen

[@FKAthicccs]

You are SO mature. Emotionally, psychologically. Not only did you not personalize the hateful comments from those full black individuals, but you were able to empathize with our struggle. You were able to step outside of yourself, even though you were hurt. I wish more people had that kind of mindset and strength. XO

[@kenyamahrei1627]

Tina M. Truth!

[@ashleyrankin5098]

❤️

[@kendallglover2830]

@Brilliant Radiance Colorism in America and in the black community has given biracial/light-skinned black people an advantage over darker black people. Statistics show that lighter/biracial black people get lighter jail sentences and on average make more money than darker black people. I acknowledge the privilege that I have over women who are fully black. I understand that full black women will often face systematic racism in ways that do not effect me as much. So, I dont think they need to try and understand my pain when they generally have it worse.

[@UnimpressedReviewer]

@@kendallglover2830 just because someone has it worse, doesn't mean they can't try to understand people who have other struggles. Things affect people differently, what seems like a small thing to one, could be a big deal to someone else. The least people can do is try to understand each other's struggles and be respectful, it's not a competition, life isn't a "who has it worse" competition.

[@kendallglover2830]

@@UnimpressedReviewer It not a competition of who has it worse. Its choosing not to ignore privilege. Everyone wants to call white people out on their privilege but try to ignore it and minimize it within the black community by saying stuff like we're all black. With that logic, we shouldnt discuss racism, at all because white people also have problems. So everyone should just understand them and not try to make it into a "who has it worse" competition. (I'm not trying to be rude or anything. I'm just try to make a point. Colorism is an issue that has had a big impact on my family life, so I get easily annoyed by this issue.)

[@sharina5917]

As a Latina, colorism in the community is also rampant and anyone who says otherwise is just ignorant. My family is Dominican, we are all difference skin tones because with years of colonization and slavery in the Caribbean, the majority of people are a mix of something (Spanish, African and Taino.) I am very light with light brown eyes, with very European features in my face. I would be completely white-passing if it weren't for my 4a afro. I've had my hair relaxed from the ages of 4 to 13 (turning 16 in 2 months) and I was completely white passing. I noticed how whenever other Latinos would talk about me, they'd describe me in a really weird way that would make me uncomfortable. They'd say things like (roughly translated), "You're so pretty and light and curvy, you should model", as if "pretty" and "light" are synonyms. People would tell me that I must be adopted because I'm lighter than both of my parents. (My dad is a bronze/ tan color and my mom is light, but tanner than me). When I decided to go natural, you wouldn't believe the chaos that ensued in my family. People would say "why would you want to give yourself 'pelo malo' (bad hair), are you trying to be black now?". I'm 2 years natural, 10 months big chop and I love my hair. But I do see discrepancies in the way my pale ass w/ 4a hair is treated compared to how dark skin girls are treated with the same hair type. People always peg me for biracial, (which isnt too far from the truth, but it's more complicated than that) and they get shocked when I speak Spanish, saying that they thought I was mixed. (In fairness, I AM mixed, but just not how they think I am). People ask me if I'm black or white, and I honestly dont know how to respond. I've had guys say how exotic I look, which makes me want to give myself a lobotomy. Other guys say, "you're cute, but how am I supposed to run my hands through your hair." Most of the time, when guys say they like girls with curly hair, they hardly mean type 4 hair. I've had biracial and fully black people try to make me say the n-word, because ,I'm "technically one of them". When I refuse to say it, they accuse me of self hate. When I get upset, I'm just being a spicy Latina. When my black friends get upset, they're being hysterical and crazy. When my white friends get upset, they're justified. When white girls in my school wear skinny jeans and hoops, they're being stylish. When me and my POC friends wear skinny jeans and hoops, we look like "thots" and "ig baddies". I could honestly rant about this for hours...

[@GirlDo3]

It's crazy how the way you chose to do your hair changes how you are viewed and treated.

[@KaliKali-hv9bt]

Dang... that's why I can't stand people

[@hapyangl82]

I'm also dominican. I've seen family members who were darker get called ugly only because they are darker. It's really a damn shame and cringey to think about how colorism permeates our culture.

[@meishamcdaniel5643]

What do you do or say when your darker skinned family members are mistreated

[@ihavenoenergyforyall]

Girl I know this colorism on my little island so well. Smh Dominicans Haitians, every West Indian island have a colorism problem smhh. I blame the pilgrims

[@NenaKPlans]

"I was half black so I was just black; I wasn't full white so they did not care" So difficult to explain this to other full black people. I think it's because black people can feel comfortable calling bi-racial people just black and don't understand that it DOES NOT go the other way - white people DO NOT look at biracial people (even when we're as light as you are) and see a "fellow" white person. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story, and thanks for embracing both sides of your ethnicity, it's an inspiration for other mixed folks out there!

[@Spongebob-lf5dn]

I'm a full black person, I went to school with majority white people. It's true I'm lighter skinned, and they would always confuse me with another girl who was darkskin. We looked nothing alike. And there were biracial people too. We were all just black.

[@dontcallmeimdead.9556]

Girl please we already know that trust me hahaha I’m fully black... And yes, everytime someone is half black, black people always have to claim them but white people just see them as black. They don’t see light skin, they see black. Most of the time we have discussions about racism and all and this always comes up. Our community accepts lots of different people that most of the time white people just don’t claim. But that’s mostly because of slavery. When they were children with black blood they were automatically black. (The one drop rule)

[@dondeestoy7040]

I'm white but I'm half English and live in England, I think there are similar issues here, but in the cities it appears better for people who are from an ethnic minority. I say appears cause I can't truly know because I'm not from that background so it's not my experience. But places with more diversity and people from everywhere always make me feel more comfortable. I'm white and even I get weirded out when I go somewhere and every single person is white lol. Some people need to start realising that life gets a lot more interesting when you open yourself up to people from everywhere instead of living in ignorance and prejudice. Can only hope that with future generations the attitudes start changing in these small towns

[@Spongebob-lf5dn]

@queenbeethatme100 You know what I meant. No one is fully anything. And I did btw, I'm 77% African. I'm not gonna go around saying I'm mixed.

[@Kueytwo]

Nabila Ayaba this dates back to when any person was considered black if they had one drop of black blood. They were too ignorant to know tha all humans are originally of skin with massive amounts of melanin, only thousands of years of migration made it fade to whiter hues, by accident. We humans would all be black if we had not moved out of Africa. Just the facts.

[@cay924]

I'm black, more of a brown complexion, and though I noticed biracial girls being loved by EVERYONE in my school, I never thought about being derogatory or mean to them. Even as someone who craved male attention at the time because I thought it would bring me self-worth, I was never jealous or held any internal animosity against biracial women. There's just simply no excuse for anyone to mistreat someone no matter how traumatic their past.

[@MarchaanDotson]

Me too. I'm black and I've never had any animosity toward biracial or light skinned girls/women ever. I've always just wanted sincere friends.

[@natb9919]

"Being loved by EVERYONE" is not a good thing just like being hated by everyone isn't a good thing. There are positives and negatives to everything in life. Being loved by everyone is often as lonely as being hated by everyone because in both cases people never really see the real you. They either idolize or villainize you, agree or disagree with everything you say, expect only great things or only failure from you. Don't think all those girls had it easy because they appeared to be "loved by everyone".

[@EANDM71]

I notice how racially-mixed women who have BLACK MOTHERS are almost always more in touch with who they are than when the mother is white/non-black. Thank you for your story. Thank you for "getting it" when so many do not.

[@riannadixon-cadogan2771]

its honestly the same with boys too

[@kookiec3741]

@You Mad? But but we all know black people are more accepting.I have a nephew he's lightskinned but he knows he's viewed as black and he accepts that he's black he doesn't question it.He's seen as a lightskinned black person ask the cops.

[@gracea3594]

kookie C Light skin black people are less likely to face police brutality and are usually seen as harmless compared to darker skinned black people.

[@kookiec3741]

@@gracea3594 I forgot to say he's also mixed and light skinned folks are also profiled.I'm glad he knows this it's a sad reality ...my son is lighter skinned and we live in an apt and he was waiting on the bus a cop rolls up and asks what are you doing here?do you belong here?I'm glad the bus came or my son would have went off.A dangerous situation didn't matter if he was lighter just that he was black.A white person was there never got asked any questions,a case of standing while black shade didn't matter.

[@gracea3594]

kookie C I understand that ALL black people do face racial profiling and violence, this is from my personal observation I’ve heard non black men/women state that “it’s easier to trust a lighter black person” or “darker guys are just intimidating” and a white woman has said to my face that “dark chocolate men look harder and masculine” but at the end of the day everyone’s experience is different and we can’t throw away their experience.

[@kenyamahrei1627]

I’m a dark skin woman who grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood, I still had issues with self esteem. My mother is biracial and my dad is full black. I remember ppl asking me if that was my real mom ( I look exactly like my dad). My mom would even make comments about how much I look like my dad, almost like she was disappointed that her daughter didn’t look like her. The only compliments I received were that I had “good hair” ... 🤮 one girl who was doing my hair once told me to watch out because ppl were going to intentionally mess up my hair because of the texture (I then struggled with trust). I became internally angry but I had never said anything until last year my mom made a comment saying that my son didn’t get lucky enough to have my texture of hair. I snapped! All those years of being belittled and confused finally took its toll and I went smooth off on her. I felt bad for being so mean to her but she needed to know that even if I didn’t stick up for myself, no one will ever make my children feel how I felt growing up. I am committed to raising confident, intelligent, empathetic and self assured children in a world that tries to tell them otherwise. I wish more ppl in our community would break those self-deprecating chains

[@jna4152]

Kenya M yup you’re right about women getting jealous about your hair. a girl braided my hair recently and i took the braids out and she cut some of my hair off. i was so dissapointed because i have worked so hard on my hair so now i have to grow it out again after i’ve been growing it out due to doing the big chop. it honestly sucks because i did a lot of work for it to be the length it was and it was so healthy. the only person i trust with my hair is my mom now...

[@msnikki1495]

💪🏿👏🏿✊🏿

[@kenyamahrei1627]

Sage Mchottie Truth!!! I am on board with your mom! It is exactly like religion! Phenotypes and Jesus is our community’s religion lol.

[@kenyamahrei1627]

Nikole A. Yeah and that hurts that the people we would naturally look to to encourage and uplift us are the very ones to hurt us. I’ve never been envious of anyone to a point that I wanted to make them feel pain or embarrassment. It’s an illness

[@funandlala]

I'm so glad you said something ♡ Lovely and beautiful that's what you are ♡

[@crystalwilson9477]

You are soooooo far from ugly. They were so blind. Smh. I pray you are so comfortable with yourself now.

[@shanaydee]

I promise you if she had a looser 3c texture hair all those “boys” would think shes gorgeous, smh it just goes to show you how ignorant people can be, I think she is gorgeous and her hair is lovely 😊 but I know especially growing up kids are mean and tend to make fun of what they see as “different”

[@mixedracegirlandproud2883]

Exactly and hair doesn’t make a person

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Not true. You could have light skin and have a loose texture, but if you’re form an area that is racist to black people, you are not going to be liked no matter what. I’m biracial with light skin and type 4 hair, and was still called a n*gga and harassed. Don’t like skin color or hair texture dictate whether or not you think people were treated worse or better. I e let secarla fake skin black people who have told me they’ve never experienced racism in their life.

[@dimv1430]

Joy-el, Thank you for your honesty and warmth and maturity. I am a “full-black” mother of a light skinned bi-racial daughter. I concur with many of the other comments. Your black mother gave you inner strength and outer beauty, including your lovely type 4 hair. Your kindness, compassion and soul are proudly on display. Don’t stop. We support you sweetheart! You make your mom, dad and the entire black and mix-race community proud!

[@ivyrainbitch]

Di MV aren't you 25 percent white?

[@Zanebabe1o1]

I believe that the worst complement anyone can ever give a dark-skinned woman is "You're pretty for a dark-skin girl.", that's not a complement. Also, a lot of the black men that I work with in the military DO NOT date full black women. Thank you for being open and honest about what you've experienced because, I always thought that my cousins were lucky to born biracial. Little did I know, they were experiencing their own forms racism in their communities.

[@najat1073]

I know exactly what you’re saying... this girl at my job told me I was pretty.... then she preceded to say dark women can only be extremely ugly or extremely pretty... that made me so annoyed......

[@stevietstevens9384]

I know riiight! I often get your very pretty, are you Dominican?; In my mind, I really want to say 'man, if you don't get the freak outta my way!' Here's another: Years ago, when I decided to cut my hair in a TWA to get it back healthy a man tried to get my attention - I was late for work and in a hurry - when I didn't respond he said you bald headed anyway. Today, my natural hair is flourishing, I wonder if he's flourishing in his ignorance...still.

[@rachybaby72]

""Full" black" woman here: Sweetie, I say this with love. I think you shouldn't excuse the behaviour of full black women. I was *raised* to treat people with kindness and certainly not to vilify others based on how they looked. If people treated you poorly based on the way you looked _(and not based on the content of your character),_ I don't care who they are -- they had no right and definitely no adequate excuse... *Side Note:* Not fun fact -- While I know I was the best person for the job, I found out later, by accident, that they were *looking* to hire someone black. That's really not a good feeling... I knew I was perfect for the job -- and I was -- but I'll never know if someone had better qualifications than me/was a better fit, or if they lucked out when the best person for the job also _happened_ to be black. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@_IVXX]

@@Hotgirlbff the video is about her going threw pretty mutch all of that. The only difference between her and them is how they've internalized it and tell them to deal with it. She's accepted the fact that life's just that way for her, and to some extent is rationalizing their behavior by telling her self it's justified because they've been made to feel less. (even though she her self has too) The fact hose treating her poorly have been hurt shouldn't be a reason for them to hurt her, or others, and pass on that same trauma. Truth is, very few people have had it so easy that they've never been hurt. Trauma isn't so rare that we need to make excuses as to why it's ok for those who've suffered from it to lash out at others. We've all responsible for how we deal with our pain. And our pain should never be anyone's problem or trauma.

[@bellagarzia9653]

nearandfar we’ve all been through some traumatic experience caused by others. Doesn’t give people an excuse to have a poor attitude, in fact it makes me not want to treat others the way I’ve been treated

[@rachybaby72]

@@Hotgirlbff It's a hearty "lmao", I see.. Lol. Smh.. "Understanding"? Lol. She was dealing with grown-ass women who should be in control of their faculties -- and not act like juvenile Mean Girls. Joy-el experienced "trauma" too and yet she's such a sweet person with a wonderful disposition. Nuff said...but I will continue. Joy-el wasn't "understanding", she was literally excusing how they treated her because she *_was_* under the false impression -- that you are under now -- believing 'they couldn't help it' and she *_gave_* them a pass. Finally, Joy-el thumbed up my comment, sooo I'm thinking I read her right, while you read her wrong... 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@rachybaby72]

@@bellagarzia9653 Amen. Sick and tired of black people holding EVERYONE to account -- EXCEPT ourselves...

[@rachybaby72]

@@_IVXX Amen to you as well. Personal responsibility is a thing...

[@KellW2012]

This just goes to show you, its not the actual biracial factor they’re attracted to, it’s the biracial “look” itself.

[@rinan4058]

she said in the video that once the men find out she is half and half they are even more into it, and say "wow you dont look it" and finding out is when they fetishized

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

@@rinan4058 yes.

[@sharifa6143]

The saddest part is that people hurt you and you chose to understand. You're a gem! And so so very beautiful

[@forrestevans4732]

That ain't nappy hair, that's a crown!

[@angeliaimeanttoloveyouharr8404]

Yes Indeed👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@mixedracegirlandproud2883]

Angela Davis yesss

[@deandrawilliams5753]

Literally

[@devved411]

It is nappy and it is a crown, nappy is a beautiful state just like kinky and coily.

[@sirenenoire4091]

I was one of a handful of black girls in a white Appalachian Caucasian area school. The guys were repulsed by black women. Black men included. They’d tease that I look dirty, called me slave and said that “last night, I crapped out something that looked just like you.” They called my hair floofy and said it was too thick. I was bullied the worst by a black guy for 2.5 years in school. 11 years later I saw him in the hospital for suicide watch because I was there too. I say this so you guys know, your biggest bullies are most likely going through something huge and them picking on you has nothing to do with you. Doesn’t excuse it tho. Edit: a week after my stay at the hospital, he was my door dash delivery guy so that was awkward....

[@INAN2222]

[@seeyouagain911]

He is trash.

[@alionesscanroar623]

Mozzarella • hello. I’m truly sorry for your childhood experiences. Recite this daily... I was made in the image of God and therefore I was wanted by His Divine will. How could I be a mistake... when I symbolically represent an exotic lovely orchid that only God could perceive in His Heart, Mind and desire. “God Can Not Make Mistakes”! But human do and that’s why Yahusha died for us. Be Blessed! Just remember haters are weak in their minds because they are full of darkness (wickedness).

[@lovemuffin10101]

Interested to know did you have any convo with him when he delivered?

[@anon6828]

How did the Asians treat you?

[@myacct8304]

Wow. This is so beautifully vulnerable and honest. "Full black" woman here, and even though you're biracial, you described my EXACT experience growing up till now, especially living in Asia. It's actually insane what people, especially men, will say to us, and then question why many Black women don't know their worth. Utterly insane. You're gorgeous sis, please keep sharing this vulnerability

[@amoybrown8240]

I remember walking with my little sister when we had a similar experience. My sister having a Cuban father is light skinned but has really thick 4C hair. At the time she was 8 and I was 16, a man about 60 passing by said to her " the only thing you have going for you is your light skin, your sister is way prettier". I was so shocked, I turned to my sister immediately and said "he's lying, you're gorgeous". Years passed when she asked me if I remembered what the old man said and how much she was hurt by his comment. I know she gets asked a lot about why her hair is 4C or why she doesn't have curly hair so as her big sister I remind her everyday that she's smart and she's beautiful in every way.

[@kee7374]

:(

[@Catsgivemelife]

Just out of curiosity what was the man’s ethnicity?

[@amoybrown8240]

•_• it was a black man... we’re Jamaicans.

[@onikatanyamaraj6448]

@@amoybrown8240 of corse it was :/

[@LoveNaisa]

Yo wtf… that man is fucking sick… I’m curious to what you look like ?? Are you light skinned also like your sis

[@Indiegirl007]

I'm not even biracial, and I get that "you look mixed! You don't even look black!" That is so hurtful to me. Because I am very proud of my African heritage.

[@honeychick4ever280]

She's a beautiful biracial woman and she's proud of her hair type💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[@TiondaRae]

Omg I hate that too. It’s a backhanded compliment.

[@MJBlueThunder]

Riverlette- -Riverlette same. I am mixed raced but there was a black dude that came to my job and said “what are you mixed with Because you couldn’t be a nigga” and all the white customers and my black coworkers started laughing. Like that’s so embarrassing 🥺🤦🏽‍♀️

[@healthychick9450]

Same girl!! Just found out im 80% African, 20% Caucasian. People always thought I was Dominican, Caribbean or mixed. I looked at your pic and see your features are not the typical black features. Slim nose, color, eyes. I have the same features. Black comes in all shades, nose sizes, hair types. I wish people would accept that.

[@Paige-Where]

SAME!!! Especially when people literally try to ARGUE with me that I’m mixed or imply that I’m lying about being “only” black. “Your mom must be lying.” “Are you sure your dad is your dad?” What is that? So insulting to say to someone. I have to tell those type of people I’m half black and half black or I’m mixed with black and black. Making a joke is the only way to get them to stop

[@lozn444]

i think you're the first biracial youtuber (that i know of) that I have come across that is proud to be biracial and acknowledges the problems and privileges that come with colourism and texturism. thank you from another biracial woman💕

[@thegreenyard]

Same

[@yazmina84]

I do agree that darker skin black women bare the burden of colorism, but it doesn't excuse mistreatment. To imply that you are promiscuous just because you are lights in is anti-black, and used against black women in general.

[@souadswaray7706]

Yazmina actual black women don’t bare anything I don’t lack?

[@shonacarter6280]

@Stacie R Even though your point isn't false, in a light vs dark situation, darker skin bares the burden, period. Look at any society: India, Africa, Asia and ask yourself if light people truly bare the colorism burden.

[@thejanyanielle]

Honestly I completely relate to you in every way possible seeing that my type 4 hair put me in an isolated group.because the only light skin girls that are popularized are the ones with looser hair textures you helped me so much throughout my natural hair journey btw

[@PHlophe]

crazy because as men at least we get the chance to hide ( i call it hiding) the texture with the very short hair or buzz cuts. texturism and featurism are among the most toxic by products of racism. This is an extremely fluid lethal poison. as a biracial male that's also albino. I am in a unique spot when it comes to masculinity.I grew up in germany. My first experience with pigmentation racism was in the classroom when a teacher pretending to not know my african name but instead called me " Michael" .

[@fran791]

@@PHlophe I have a friend who is fully black but also albino. He struggled a bit growing up in the EU

[@lindindil1]

I completely understand the feeling. Black people constantly asked me why my dirty blonde hair was so nappy, you would be cute if your hair was more curly. Now mind you I'm full black with very recessive genes for albinism. I literally have trouble maintaining color. While understanding the issues of colorism I also had to deal with the concept of hating my own looks for not looking black enough. I still don't know where I fit in with the black community even though it's the only community I know since I'm not biracial but not seen as black.

[@DivinaDeLulu]

You're the first biracial person I've ever seen who is as pale as me with type 4 hair. I'm a college freshman and have finally finished transitioning to my natural hair after years of heat damage, so I just recently wore it loose for the first time in years which was nerve wracking. I was so excited when I came across your videos that I showed them to my parents squealing "SHE LOOKS LIKE MEEEEE!!" It put a smile on their face and fulfilled a need of mine that I didn't know I had. I feel that in being so pale, black heritage is negated. In my case, I grew up in a Latino community that was pretty intolerant to blackness and it took a long time to accept-- quite literally-- those roots. Afro textured hair and the meaning surrounding it is incredibly beautiful. I never realized how deeply intertwined African culture was in the Latino community and going natural has made me appreciative of it. I wish I would've found you much sooner. Thank you. Truly. I'm so excited to see more from you.

[@colleenr2]

I find it interesting how all these guys want a “spicy Latina”, but black women are always “feisty”, and that’s just too much 🤦‍♀️

[@stephaniehb9921]

@@MrKrushgutz black women aren't ratchet, stay ignorant

[@margotbugs]

MrKrushgutz don't be racist. it's gross. don't be racist.

[@jaylin2215]

@@MrKrushgutz Wow you must not get out much, that is the most ridiculous comment I've ever seen...

[@evolonten]

MrKrushgutz ????? basically ur saying color scares u bc a white / lighter person can do what we do and get a round of applause yet we get ignorant comments like yours.. please leave the video all together

[@Homeside301]

Delores G men or spicy Latinas?

[@anitralovett1359]

You have a unique look. You're beautiful. People are intimated by what they perceive to be "different ".

[@AliyahTheDoll]

Anitra Lovett very different. Surprised she isn’t a model or something u wouldnt think her hair would be an afro !. She’s gorgeous!

[@NannyDiaries23]

Yes! “Healthy hair is good hair!” That would be great on merch too!

[@ninanano]

"You hair is like wood"????? That's a first omg. Also it's weird how you were "too white" for the black boys but they still liked the mormon white girls which I'm guessing are the whitest of the white...

[@raphies8319]

Nadine you so pretty. Fuck these niggas.

[@favourmercy6114]

@49jubilee please explain

[@jumbosensei8139]

That’s true. Mormons are the whitest of white. I’m talking drink milk with their dinner white.

[@GabriellaGabrielle]

Romantic Rita gross

[@janice184]

Romantic Rita 💀💀

[@BlakLotus]

YOU were the UGLY friend????? If you're "ugly", I'm a freaking goblin.

[@shadehasbeenthrown1178]

Putting yourself down to lift someone else up isnt cute neither sis.

[@BullshitDetector]

​@@shadehasbeenthrown1178 Neither is calling people sis in an attempt to be a sassy bitch.

[@shadehasbeenthrown1178]

@@BullshitDetector you mad sis? if thats all you got from my comment then you must have one brain cell now gtfoh low life bitch

[@BlakLotus]

@Brilliant Radiance oh absolutely not. I'm not seeking sympathy. It's a weird tactic to deliver a compliment via self-deprecation duhhhh.

[@MakedaPhillips]

As a poor black girl who "talked like a white girl" I always felt this. I also became aware of this when I was abroad, constantly having to prove my merit. When I was abroad in England, I always felt both in an out a circle when it came to my nationality, so I empathizes with your plight and I am appreciative of your understanding! It was sad to see you cry, but don't let it get you down love! Hold your crown up high, Queen.

[@ksam5673]

Nationality is different to race sweetheart

[@dvckbby]

ksam pco she knows that...🤦🏾‍♀️

[@natb9919]

So you felt left out because you're American? I think you'll find many Americans have that experience when they leave the US no matter what color they are. Americans don't have a good reputation in most of the world, especially American tourists. Obviously it's not fair to take it out on one individual like yourself but your fellow country people do let your side down often. If you felt left out around black people in London or any big city in England then it's most likely because black Americans tend to have this mentality that black people in the UK aren't really black or we're less black than them lol. Which is hilarious because we're all 2nd/3rd generation Africans and Caribbeans, we all know our African/Caribbean culture, languages etc and are immersed in it in one way or another. Even white people in the UK are immersed in African/Caribbean culture to a degree because of us. But that mentality makes people, especially black people, avoid black Americans sometimes. Some people have the patience to educate them but many don't.

[@alexhoward1884]

@@natb9919 You are so ignorant and judgemental. I am glad you avoid black Americans because i would hate to interact with such a bigot.

[@natb9919]

@@alexhoward1884 I'm ignorant but black Americans are the ones that think they have a monopoly on what it is to be black...yet they have zero connection to their African roots? Lmao sorry the truth hurts, Alex. Not to worry though, most of you don't even have passports so you won't have to worry about ever meeting me. Thank God I won't have to put up with you either!

[@1wtaylorful]

I hate the word nappy too! I wish we could retire that word. I grew up in the Midwest and HS was 95% white so nobody was checking for me either! The mixed girls wanted to be white, a lot of the black boys wanted white girls and all the brown and black girls were just kinda invisible. Most of us didn’t even have prom dates but we went anyway. I would love to see beauty/color/texture hierarchy dismantled forever!

[@Zanaaa50]

The word "nappy" belongs to Black folks and it's fine for those of us without any issues with the natural texture of our hair. But I see why you don''t like it.

[@kittenhoodie]

When I look at you, I see a stunningly beautiful woman and I just can't fathom that anyone would ever tell you that you're ugly. People are so insanely cruel. I'm happy that you found self acceptance and true love with your fiancee. I wish all the happiness in the world to you.

[@DrNICUNurse]

I just want to say that I truly adore your story, your vulnerability, and your empathy to full black women. I am a dark skinned full black woman and definitely have had my share of colorism. You are gorgeous, your spirit is gorgeous, and so is your hair! I NEVER comment on videos but I couldn't go without telling you that! 💋 Continue to be great! And I'm newly subscribed😊

[@snteag]

It's possible that the army woman told you not to bat "those pretty green eyes" at the guys as a warning to protect you because she knows about sexual harassment in the military.

[@jobaker993]

As a light skinned biracial woman ( white mother and black father) I thought I’d share my experience . I grew up in a town that was 85% Latino and hispanic, 10% white, and the remainder and mix of Indian, Asian, and Black. I was often bullied for the way I looked and for my type 3 hair by other children. My godmother, a dark skinned black woman whom I met when I was 6 years old was the first person to make me feel good about my hair (other than my mother) . We were for a long time the only black people who lived in our small town. I have faced racism and colorism from everywhere not only the black or white community. I’ve faced judgments like “your not really black” ,“ that’s because you are light skinned huh”, “your hair looks like a poodle” as well as poodle becoming a nickname and kids touching my hair and throwing things in it. My white grandfather and his brother referring to me and my sister as the “N” word ( hard r) “babies” As a grown woman I have faced people who assume because of the color of my skin I think I’m better than. It honestly makes me sad because I have never felt that way. I love all colors and all textures and can appreciate the differences in all of the different combinations.

[@spongebob8157]

Oh my gosh! I go through this same thing. Especially the part “people think I think I’m better because of my skin color” my jaw dropped! I have extreme anxiety because I look so different than others and people always give me attitude or tell me “you think you’re better” or “no one can make me feel insecure, I’m gorgeous” when I don’t even do/say anything to imply that I think I am better than them. I used to live in Detroit but now I live in Houston. It’s mostly Latinos here as well. Some Mexicans have thought I was Mexican too but what sets apart is my hair. Even my great grandmother and auntie who are black women told me I need to make my hair “less hard, kinky” or I need to “perm, straighten” it. We all know why they said that. 😢 But yet if I did do that, I would be told I hate my blackness and I’m trying to be another race, but at the same time I can’t be comfortable in my blackness if others keep telling me it’s “wrong/doesn’t match”.

[@ayuanabradford3206]

Any race can be racist trust me.. This is what I will be afraid of with my mixed kids on my husband side family. My husband is 100% Mexican, but light skin. His mom is white and his dad is mixed white and native. He was born in Mexico and I already see how people see me different when we go to his gated community in Mexico..when we are walking some cars stop or go slow to see if this is accurate what they seeing because it RARE. It stupid because it strict. Have guards and cameras sooo… WTH. No one is in that gated community that look like me. Some tourist live there, but they are white Americans or Canadian. Also the malls that are mostly white Mexicans etc unless your a tourist like me. It sucks, but I got used to it and don’t give a dame. As Mexico is very classicist but let’s just say racist… because when I was going to open my bank account with my husband some light skin lady brushed me out of jealousy or hate as my husband wasn’t looking he was talking to see how I can get a bank account as it more hard because i don’t have residency yet so can’t get one until I fix my status in Mexico and get married there. I already have issues with his two sets of god parents.. as they don’t say it to my face they say it when I’m not there as I think they thought our relationship was FAKE and he was only using me for papers lol, but when they found out he actually LOVED ME and want to grow old with me like his parents things changed. His uncles first was saying we was taking to long to get married and when we got married they said it was a mistake…. Wtf. It funny because for example one of his main god parents. They have 3 kids that 2 of his kids both females are single over 35 and no kids but 1 of them which the white guy is in JAIL… the guy his son he remarried to a childhood friend and the both can’t have kids as of his and her health issues… it’s funny because his parents are sooooo supportive and treat me like there own daughters, especially the mom. She want me to call her MOM. We are already planning on having 6-8 kids so maybe that’s why they are scared 😱 😂

[@portiawebb533]

The "ugly" friend... >Sis?! 😳🙅🏽 💛✨

[@FoxyChariot]

Right. I don’t know where people get that from.

[@naigh-naighwhy222]

She was raised in a predominantly white neighborhood so the white guys where into white people

[@hirosuke75846]

right.

[@sailormercury9790]

Naigh-naigh Why even if they are into jut white people. that doesn't mean she is ugly. this woman literally looks like a white woman with an afro wig.

[@monique1515]

Right she belongs on the cover of magazines

[@cometdestroyer]

I think I’ve left about 5 comments in the history of the internet, but I was so moved by your story I had to add another one. My experience growing up was EXACTLY the same as yours. As a dark skinned bw who was born & raised in a very white country, I never had guys pay any attention to me. I was, and still am, the ugly friend. I’m 33 and I live in a slightly more diverse country but I’m still in the same situation. I’ve been single my whole life and am still a virgin because I refuse to satisfy anyone’s fetish (which is the only reason a man has ever approached me). Needless to say, I’ve ended up in therapy due to extreme loneliness and very low self esteem and had assumed I will be single and forever. A small part of me still hopes that one day the right guy will come along and make all this pain worth it

[@elmoworld850]

Awww, I'm so sorry. I hope the right person comes along.

[@cometdestroyer]

elmo world Thank you. Me too 😌

[@stanfatou2002]

Be careful bc not all white men that approach black women have fetishs

[@elizabethtimothy4776]

Mandi, I want you to know how amazing and BEAUTIFUL you are! There is someone special for you, don't ever give up and please be open minded and pray for guidance. If I you don't mind answering, where about are you? Stay blessed ♥️

[@cometdestroyer]

wolf old ass Thug I live in the UK now

[@PaviElleWilliamson]

I’m not biracial and both my parents are black, I am light skinned and I know how much it hurts not to be accepted. I’m sorry.

[@formyhobbies3766]

PaviElle Williamson I accept you

[@TheLoveweaver]

Will you be restarting your Vlogs or channel anytime soon?/I just checked it out. You are different in a good way! I hope you'll upload more videos. 🙂

[@PaviElleWilliamson]

@@TheLoveweaver that is so awesome I just worked on a video today to put myself out there again. So the long answer is yes!

[@PaviElleWilliamson]

@@formyhobbies3766 Ty for that it means a lot.

[@Ferrist1]

Many people work from a place of hurt and/or jealousy, that has nothing to do with you. Let them work that out, and keep shining.

[@woodybeau8321]

Texturism is HUGE in the black community. I have hair like your sister's and people refuse to believe that I am only black. They always try to pressure me to tell them what I am "mixed" with but both are my parents are black. And girl your hair is the booomb!!! Your fro is giving me so much life! I love it!! ❤️

[@MakedaPhillips]

"I'm gonna take a sip of root beer so I don't cry." Is a mood

[@chenoda]

I am a full black woman with a light complexion. I’ve experienced racism, colorism, & prejudices based on my aesthetic my entire life (I’m 47), both for and against. Prejudices by all ethnicities of people, including other full black light-skinned women. But the worst reactions I’ve always gotten was from (non-black) people who always just assumed I was either white, Indian, Hispanic, or, bi-racial, but seemed to feel “tricked” when I set them straight, informing them that I am indeed, a full black female. In my experience, (Non-black) people always seemed to take that so personal for some reason, they seem to hate that a full black female can have such a light complexion. Just a couple years ago, while at work, I had an elderly dark skinned black man (80-ish) ask me what I was mixed with. I told him I not mixed, I’m full black. He literally told me, “No you’re not, you’re too light, and too pretty to be all black.” It literally hurt my heart to hear him say that, and I told him so, then he asked me for my phone number. But... I’m born and raised in Southern California, so my aesthetic has never been an issue where men, of any race, were concerned. Black, white, Hispanic, pacific Islander, Native, Asian... mixed-race, I’ve been approached by them all, from late teens to 80’s.

[@tenadefiant]

I totally can relate. Being black with a light brown skin color and as an adult, I get that I can't possibly be black quite a bit. When people meet me, they automatically think I'm biracial and when I correct them and tell them I black, they always look at me funny or they try to tell me that my mom had an affair with the milk man. 😩 they wonder why I don't find that funny at all questioning MY ethnicity. My mother was just really light skinned herself.

[@nubianqueenyada]

I don’t mean to be rude but Vanessa Williams has two black parents and when she tested her DNA she was 44% European. If you haven’t tested your DNA, you could be mixed genetically. Not culturally but genetically. My dad is Nigeria and even I have 10% euro in me because my momma is black.

[@chenoda]

Ms. unapologetic Yes, all four of my grandparents were black, only one (my maternal grandmother) had a light complexion, the other three had darker complexions. And yes, I am aware that I do come from a mixed heritage, on both sides of my family, Irish, Native American, and African on my dad’s side, and Unknown Caucasian and African on my mom’s side, but it’s far enough back that I feel no connection to, nor have I ever claimed to be anything but black. Both sides of my family’s mixing stems from slavery days, so we have no connections to any ethnicity but our African American ancestors.

[@sable7114]

@@nubianqueenyada that is true, I don't believe any of us or 100% anything. We just assumed that if both our parents look black and I'll grandparents look black then we must be 100% black. However, the parents and the grandparents aren't 100% either. It is just impossible green. We are though described by how we look.

[@sable7114]

I get what you mean by being questioned about ethnicity at work when no one else, in my office at least was question. I was the first person of color hired to work in that entire building complex and people always felt the need to ask where are you from? Or what is your race?

[@sunpi]

There is no excuse to treat people badly. Humans are thee worst somtimes

[@squidwardtentacles7144]

Fr🤦🏾‍♀️

[@tiffmonique7154]

I'm a full black woman and growing up I had people telling me I was beautiful and that when I grew up I should become a model. But then I got FAT! I've been overweight my whole life and let me tell you I was always at the bottom of someone's totem pole when it came to dating. I come from a very diverse city so there were so many different races of girls. Black girls unless they were slim, pretty and dressed well didn't get much attention from any race of men. The biracial girls were very popular and some of them were really mean and a few were nice. They were usually the leaders of their friends. Asian and Filipino women were really popular with everyone. So yeah I had self esteem issues for years but now I've come to appreciate the way I look and I accept it. One thing I do realize when it comes to biracial girls is the ones who were more humble and not full of themselves usually had a BLACK mother which makes a difference. One girl stood out who was biracial and her mom was white and she was one of the nicest people. She told me I had the best dress out of the whole prom. So it just really depends. Lol I never would have thought you had the same issues as me in school. You're beautiful! The right guy noticed so that's all that matters.

[@wt90039]

Incredibly gorgeous. Hard to see how anyone missed it. Closed minds miss out on so much.

[@nakiadeon8607]

I'm a full black, light skinned, freckle faced, hazel eyed woman with 4c hair. Boy do I have some stories to tell. But my stories and many lighter skinned peoples stories of Colorism are always poo pooed...like they don't exist. They do. Thank you for sharing yours.

[@KAlovesherkitties]

Totally agree. Those stories certainly exist. If people didn't shut it down and tried to listen sometimes they'd see we all have our struggles.

[@maryapatterson]

My thing is, nobody gets asked what colour they want to be .Do we want to go 2 shades lighter or darker? So to be hostile or to bully people because they are light skinned or biracial just doesn't make any sense! What makes it stay with you, its when its so called black sisters doing it! And then when things get bad you are looking to you for sympathy! Eh? My white friends saw me as black.I knew who I was and where I came from! Yep another one from the Windies with our multiple guess DNA! The other black girls would then complain that I was always hanging out with the white girls! Well make up your flipping mind! Luckily I went to a girls only school. So luckily there was no dances, dating or proms, thank the Lord ! Watching this made me feel so proud of you and the good job your mother did!Because its ok to self accept who you are! Its ok to be proud of your heritage and accept whatever comes out of your head! But it doesn't mean that I am kicking anybody down. However I should not have to apologise for society's disgusting behaviour towards dark skinned women.

[@milanihall9909]

IM HONESTLY JUST REALLY CURIOUS (and somewhat slow so be patient please) but how can you be fully black but still light-skinned? I've heard people say they have black parents but they have light skin?

[@elleruirui]

@@milanihall9909 Some people just have lighter skin even though they are fully black. It's not that difficult to understand.

[@kamzamosweu2269]

@@milanihall9909 there are many light skinned blacks even in Africa. I'm one of them and I don't have white ancestors

[@TahtahmesDiary]

Growing up in predominantly white places while mixed you ARE the Black person, I had similar experience to you and I am 3c, half Salvadoran... Many people dont understand that dynamic, you are automatically ugly, and you represent everything black, you are black to the white community that will never change. I had kids tie my hair in knots in elementary, I remember kids crowding around me at the pool discussing why my hair wasn't wet like theirs after swimming it looked dry. There are privileges but this is a complex issue when you factor in how different mixed people can come out even with the same mix, it gets convoluted. I know mixed darkskinned people get mocked a lot too. You nailed so many points here well done!

[@SharmaineJoyel]

I had my hair ripped out in fist fulls by a girl who was sitting behind me in my 8th grade English class. I had to BEG my teacher to finally remove her from class. Tell me why she had two of her friends confront me and try to tell me she got her 'jacket' caught in my hair... 5 times.... like no.

[@TahtahmesDiary]

@@SharmaineJoyel They absolutely hone in on us and gaslight. And adults literally don't notice because their perception is skewed to see white kids a certain way. It can be dangerous, I'm glad your teacher finally listened but wow, those girls confronting you to gaslight you sounds honestly stressful and a bit scary.

[@ilovejuudy]

Tahtahme's Diary you’re so beautiful but I agree. I came out with most of my Spanish genes and my sister came out a lot darker with the Salvadoran genes thick curly hair, we’re 11 months apart and seeing how differently we were treated still til this day fills me with guilt and wishing we could of switched places. I’m so sorry this happened to you.

[@INDIGO.GODDESS_573]

@@ilovejuudy Spanish isn't a race🤦🏾‍♀️.

[@sylvia543]

I NEVER leave comments on videos, but I had to thank you for being real and discussing such an uncomfortable topic in the black community. Shouldn't be that way but the issue still exists today. You are brave and your confidence exudes through your commentary, self-awareness and articulation of the intricacies of this issue. This was EVERYTHING. Keep doing what you do sis. We are always stronger together. 💜

[@raesumm]

You not only have good hair, you have GREAT hair. God gave you a halo over your head because you are an empath and an angel. Your video made me cry. Thank you sharing your experience growing up and for showing so much compassion. And one more thing. What you went through was just to prepare you for the woman God needed you to become. I hope your videos continue to be the inspiration we all need to be who God intends us to be while we navigate a world that is often very hostile and wants to dim our light. Keep being a rock star ⭐️

[@AfriNaija12]

Agreed!✨✨✨💛💛💛

[@KrissyFizzle]

We stan when mixed women acknowledge colorism and the role having lightskin can play into it.

[@natb9919]

A lot more would acknowledge it if black women weren't so hostile towards them in conversations about it. There's no need to fight with each other, we didn't choose our skin color and it won't stop colorism. And a lot of people who speak on colorism use it as a way to hate on lightskin/mixed race women.

[@tataiinsertlastnamehere6471]

As a hairstylist, I agree! I hate using derogatory terms to describe textures. Hair is straight, wavy, curly, coily, thin, thick, medium densities. 🙄 In Spanish, "pelo malo" Is annoying because hair is just hair. Bad hair is bad when a person doesn't care for it. This video was so emotional to watch.

[@gloriabullock98]

She is literally one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. What the heck? She is gorgeous.

[@seeyouagain911]

I never understood the reason why a man would harass a woman and just take his time obsessing over a woman he thinks is ugly? I thought men ignored ugly woman. I always get hate from men too. Laughing at me, spitting at me and generally making me feel bad about myself. It just never made sense to me why they would come after me when they think I am ugly. I'm glad you didn't let them get to you. They are trash. You are beautiful inside and out. Stay strong girl! I am happy you found someone to love you. And please you are lovable and don't see yourself short. Looking down on oneself has never helped anyone. You are enough as you are. ♥️👍

[@rosepetals6895]

I can totally relate to you, i have type 4 hair and I’m light skin, on the other hand my sister who is brown skin has the loose hair. Every time we meet people they first look at her hair and give the best compliments then they look at me as a side note and say, yours is nice too... Even the black women in my family.

[@MsDee-gw4gu]

I am a dark skinned black woman and I think you and your hair are absolutely beautiful. If anyone else has a problem with that then their problems are their own. You need to own all of the beauty that God blessed you with and remember, if everyone was born to look the same, we would all be screaming to look different. 💖💖💖

[@BrokeTruckerGyal]

People think that because you're beautiful and light, you've never struggled or you're not a "true" minority. If only they knew 🤦🏽‍♀️... You don't have to apologize to anyone who is calloused towards you because of your skin color, that makes them just as ignorant as ANYONE ELSE who would MISjudge ANYONE based on their skin color. Any woman of any complexion who is comfortable with the beauty of herself, will also be comfortable with the beauty in you. That's that. Period.. an ugly spirit is an ugly spirit and they hide themselves in all different shades, all the time. I've faced similar ignorance due to being light despite being a full blood black Jamaican woman. However I'm more of the type to flip someone the bird or curse them in my native tongue 😂 and a part of me is glad that you seem better than me in that department. You're just too pretty for that! 😍

[@antoinettemosley312]

👏👏👏👏

[@indiarickman]

Thank you!!!!

[@theblkvegan9437]

This post 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@TheKittiesKilll]

But the reason they think that is because things like this are VERY rare, as in a biracial woman actually telling the truth instead of being disingenuous like many normally are. I've been knowing for years that a lot of light skin/mixed girls go through hell, especially in non black spaces, but they rarely ever say anything about it because they take pleasure in taking over black spaces. What many biracials do is they keep quiet about the issues that are actually plaguing them in favor of finding a comfortable niche within the black community. That way they never have to address any actual problems they have, they just ride the coattails of black people, mainly black women. That's the problem. If more light skin/biracial women actually told the truth like this wonderful lady did, there may actually be a possibility for some type of foward progress. People have to be honest about these issues in order for there to be change.

[@antoinettemosley312]

@@TheKittiesKilll but see...the problem ...we do...and have.....its all about what u choose to intake...Rosa Parks?...mixed...Malcolm X?...Mixed...Bob Marely... mixed

[@ticheri16]

Omg finally someone who agrees with me that Nappy is a derogatory word. When people say nappy they usually have a disgusted look or condenscending look on their face. I don't call my my 4c hair Nappy nor do I like it when others do.

[@caid733]

Its really the equivalent of the n word

Wow this is so disturbing how you were treated in school. This is why I never ever belittle/ exclude mixed people. There's tons of biracial/ racially ambiguous people living fully black experiences

[@antoinettechevalier2453]

Riana Anaïs I love the way u said that: “racially ambiguous people living fully black experiences”. Powerful ...

[@TheMspoodle2]

@@antoinettechevalier2453 me too..I was shocked by her comment because I never hear a non black or non biracial person speak like that😇😇😇

[@feedingveganbae4449]

@AfricanQueen Queen of Africa not all fully black women have the same experience so...

[@crystalo8603]

AfricanQueen Queen of Africa I also don’t know how this person came to this conclusion being a non black person 🤔

[@Khapresha]

Riana Anaïs you can’t live a “fully black experience” without being fully black. It’s not even possible

[@Breaajay]

This video was actually life changing. Thank you! My dad is biracial and growing up he identified as black and always said that biracial people are seen as black so that should be their identity. Fast forward to now when I have a biracial daughter and I've struggled because our experiences are not the same. I felt like I was forcing her to identify as black (although I'll always be honest; that is likely how she'll be perceived) but your video did such a great job at really stressing that biracial people truly have a different experience and it should be handled differently than with full black children. I'll let Helena know she should thank you one day lol

[@rasheahall5427]

I appreciate your transparency. My step daughter is from a predominately white small southern town and she was bullied about everything going on with black people, black culture, and black issues. She went through a phase of wanting to drop out of school by the 8th grade. When she moved the the DMV area to live with us where it's more diverse with minorities, she finally started appreciate herself as she is, because she saw herself in her surroundings. I definitely believe its important to surround yourself around your likeness and diversity.

[@noreehix5714]

It’s already bad enough when you get shamed by your peers but it’s even worse when it’s your relatives. I get picked on for my 4c hair and honestly I don’t even want to grow it out anymore because the comments are discouraging.

[@Confusedbluebear]

Sis..tell those people if they have a problem with your hair, they need to direct all dislikes to God. It is He that has made us and not our selfs. God said He made everything and that it was good. So...if God said it's good, then it's good. And who can judge God? Reading stuff like this breaks my heart and ticks me off at the same time. And for the record, in my opinion 4b-4c hair is bomb!! Ya afros is everything and twist outs!! Wear your hair and be proud. Someone out there is fighting cancer and would love to have whats on your head. ☺😘

[@TheLoveweaver]

"The day you allow yourself not to care about what other people think about you is the day you will become free."- I don't remember who said that but it finally made sense to me a few years ago. It's your hair. The only feelings you should care about are your own. You must love all of yourself first and always! ❤

[@curlswithlizzz_]

Stay encouraged honey! Your 4C hair is beautiful, gravity defining, versatile, and amazing!! Watch it grow out in all its beauty. I know a lot of 4C women with popping hair like onlyonejess, halfricanbeauty, and OneSmartFro 🖤

[@isa_virtual]

Don’t give up! It’s gonna be worth at the end.

[@SharmaineJoyel]

Your hair is beautiful! I completely understand how painful the opinions and words of others can be. Discovering self worth and self love helped me to be able to deflect negative and ignorant comments about my appearance. It literally saved my life. I never discuss this (because it still hurts me to this day that I truly thought this was my only way to escape my pain) but I did try to end my life due to not feeling worthy or enough. I promised myself I would never allow anyone to make me feel that way. Choose yourself over and over and over again. If you love your hair and yourself, that's all that matters 💕

[@shreksspawn2359]

Why can't we just love each other in the black community? Smh.

[@invisiblerevolution]

Black folks *looooove* to divide each other up. Like.... I got knocked for growin up in the suburbs. Therefore, I'm not authentically "Black".

[@honestyfirst978]

Why can't you have this same energy to the White people that excluded mixed race people as White why are mixed race people not allowed to be white? And I dont see it as a problem by you guys when white people do the same why are you people always blaming black people for everything?

[@ilovelife3328]

@@honestyfirst978 Let's be realistic. Anyone with a drop of "other" blood in them is automatically a POC in America. Racism is at the root of this. African Americans, biracials, Latinos (with Native blood), Caribbean, Asians, etc. will all be seen as "other" in America. Haven't you seen those news reports where "white" people did a DNA test and found out they had some minute amount of African ancestry and then started getting ostracized by other Caucasians as as result? That is never going to change. It is just ingrained in most Caucasian Americans to "other" anyone who is not "pure-blooded." Biracial or no, we can all relate to being people of color in America!

[@Ferrist1]

We do. We've been through a lot. It starts to grate and cracks will come up. We're human.

[@shreksspawn2359]

@@honestyfirst978 I'm not tryna divide no one. I'm sick of bw saying *ALL* bm are bad, and vice versa. I agree with you.

[@lolocabana5458]

I just love your videos this video made me cry, I'm fully black with 4c hair I have 3yr old mixed race son with type 3 hair and I correct comments from mom and grandma about his hair being the "good hair"..now they dont even mention it around me because they know I'll will shut that down in a heartbeat..my son wont be hearing those colorist/texurism comments.. my mom was also ignorant to the fact that hair texture is not exclusive to one race...I showed her fully black woman on yt with type 3 hair and type 4 And also showed her your video of you and your sister with your hair being like ours and your sister hair a different texture...I told her that even mixed race can have type 4 and there is Nothing Wrong with it,,boy was that a wake up call for her...... you can't assume all biracial will have certain things just as you can't expect fully black ppl to have certain things...I wish ppl would just let us live,and stop questioning our genetics , let us love who we are unapologetically.

[@arozay8357]

I am sooo happy you exist. The world NEEDS your empathy and perspective 🙌🏾

[@rosediamond1005]

You are a beautiful soul. As a mother of two daughters and who immigrated to the 🇺🇸 in my late teens, I had never experienced racism until I moved to the US and its painful. You are so beautiful! I can't fathom you can be called unattractive. I tell my sweet girls who are teenagers every opportunity I get to focus on the inner work...treat people with respect, love people, study and don't be shaken by other peoples opinion because they will always have one. Everytime the self doubt shows up which it will in the harsh world we live in; when we can we take a long walk and I remind them of what living miracles they are and the kindness they excude to others and what a gift they are. Thank you for this video. You are a beautiful soul!

[@soraya.e5482]

When you said that thing about Mexicans. I laughed because I grew up around mostly Hispanic people and the ethnic beef between different Hispanics and blacks is so deep. That should be a whole other vid.

[@Bellz972]

I heard the rumors but didn't know that was a thing. 😱Am African and never hade problems with any Hispanics. Those I know are great friends and come from backgrounds which has faced similar struggle as Africans. They are friendly and humble. It's not always animosity between us. Sometimes we do more than fine together. Maybe time and place makes a difference?

[@yadyestrella9019]

Woww i have never heard of this. Everyone’s experience is different but living in nyc with predominantly black and Hispanic individuals (as a mixed Hispanic myself), community runs deep in here. Everyone is here for everybody. There’s the once in a blue moon internalized racism, or that one person who puts themselves in a pedestal, but racism here almost always comes from Caucasians.

[@blkluv100]

@@yadyestrella9019 She said Arizona so more than likely she's referring to Mexicans not Puerto Ricans. I used to live in C.A. the Mexicans there are very racists and clannish, the men more so than the women.

[@LifeFilmz]

Yes that beef definitely needs to be talked about because it is truly sad, but idk it depends when I grew I had no issues with mexican people I had a few friends who were Mexican. Mexicans and blacks can be friends but I’ve seen when they are enemies as well and idk why it’s like that. I worked at a fast food restaurant and it was only mexicans and black people, the Mexicans would talk shit in Spanish to each other about other black co workers even the Mexican managers but us blacks were no better, we would talk our shit too 😂 some of them making nasty remarks about the language barrier. Some days we were cool other days talking shit lol the Mexican coworkers we were cool with would tell us when a manager was making rude comments about us. It was a sad dynamic but it was an interesting experience. I think someone should definitely make a video about that with Mexicans included.

[@soraya.e5482]

Yady Estrella ummmh it’s really the same out there just not Mexicans insert Puerto Rican’s and Dominicans and other Latinos

[@shamelleism]

I have gone to school in a predominantly black and Hispanic neighborhoods my whole life. In my experience colorism and texturism is everywhere. I am mixed with black and (white)Hispanic and I sometimes feel like I am considered "better" then the average black person and "worse" then the average Hispanic in terms of attractiveness. It's so disgusting that in the black community we raise people who look whiter and lower people who look blacker. I've always thought type 4 hair and dark skin was so beautiful and I wish more people voiced that opinion too instead of just going along with these colorist and texturist ideas.

[@AshleyNicole]

Ohhhh man people can be soooo mean. You're just so beautiful its such a shame to me to hear the way people treated you growing up. Hearing my own mother among other people talk about dark skin and calling it ugly and laughing at them made me so self conscious. My best friend would even tell me how dark I am and make it seem like my skin wasn't beautiful despite us being the same color lol. I have had boyfriends say to my face how they prefer a light skinned woman -_- so many things...I catch myself to this day requiring a sc filter to look lighter or hating pictures where I look "too dark". Overall I am working very hard to embrace my skin and natural hair. Thanks for the video and making this something we can openly discuss with one another!

[@mellimel1174]

I’ve head the same comments directed toward hair from some family members. Hair “grading” always made me feel self conscious. Light skin or no, it was the good hair that seemed the prize among city folk when I was growing up.

[@ashleyliverpool9503]

i have never seen another girl with textured hair and light skin like me. you go online and put in mixed kids and all you see are girls with loose curls. not ecen one has 4b 4c hair and is light skinend. i used to feel like i was cheated from not having "good hair" like all the other mixed girls. people can be real mean about skin color too. i remeber i was called ALBINO by some random lady. so rude

[@kittymarie3690]

Ashley Liverpool same! Even among my siblings I have the lightest skin, but the kinkiest hair. I don’t know how many times I’ve had people tell me how much prettier I’d be with straighter hair (especially when I lived in l.a. and Japan peeps were just so rude with a smile), but we 4c types all get that. In Japan most truly didn’t get it. How could they? People would openly wonder why I didn’t actively try to look whiter.

[@TheRenegadeStarr]

Thanks for sharing. You’re not alone. I’m a black man who grew up VERY similar to how you did. I got a lot of the same comments. I had to grow up in a mostly white area. About the hair what’s sad is people will talk about our hair type but 30-40-50 years from now ppl are gonna wish they had a full head of hair like yours, strong hair like yours, a consistent hairline like yours, etc etc.

[@ellegoddessessentials2547]

I like that you acknowledge the difference with full Black girls

[@Dariiannna]

I'm also mixed race. I identify as mixed race, not black. I won't just toss away 50% of my heritage because some people can't wrap their head around it and stop one drop ruling people like it's still the 1800s. Growing up I've always been bothered that my race, particularly my "blackness" was always a topic of decision. I'm literally just trying to exist.

[@prosperous_berri_x]

Cara Macaan one stop rule... messed up

[@dvckbby]

Dream Dream Serene black mixed race?

[@dvckbby]

A N Detjen 1/2 does not equal a whole

[@milanihall9909]

@Dream Dream Serene Omg I say that too. I have 2c-3c hair, big nose somewhat big lips, wide hips, and tan-creamy white skin. Im also muti-racial, My grandma was Native American and grandpa is black. my other grandma was white and grandpa was black. Im more black than anything

[@natb9919]

@@dvckbby Very very few people are 100% black. Most are 75%. 3/4 does not equal a whole either but it doesn't stop people from identifying as black.

[@Bobbi99741]

You are beautiful inside and out. As an older dark skinned woman I would say that you are well-grounded, open and have a beautiful personality. You took the negative, turned it around and use it for good. You are an old soul. Thanks for sharing something so personal. You got this!

[@AmbiPitts]

I’m biracial and have super kinky hair, after 20 years of relaxers I finally went natural and I love watching your videos. This is beautiful.

[@crystalc6358]

Crying is cathartic. We appreciate your story, insight & awareness. Keep shining love, kindness & light.

[@GirlDo3]

Thank you for shedding light on mixed people's issues. As a black girl, I was apathetic to mixed girls causes since they are praised by bm but now I realised they have their own set of issues.

[@Ferrist1]

Sometimes when people see a bright and beautiful thing, instead of just enjoying the beauty, they want to tear it down and make it as low and basic as how they feel about themselves. Sorry that you went through that Charmaine. You deserved better.

[@AfriNaija12]

Yep, Very true👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾

[@anikadiamond007]

Exactly!

[@kookiec3741]

Bright and beautiful?Really so your saying who is basic and low?and they feel that way.

[@deeyalafleur-moore7982]

"Healthy hair is GOOD hair". Periodttt.💜

[@MonicaBryant]

It’s like we had the same childhood. All the boys said I was ugly and too dark. A white boy liked me but he couldn’t date me because his dad would have been pissed. My light skinned peers were always considered more attractive than me, but those comments never came from them directly, it was other people saying it. I never had a boyfriend until I was 21. Thank you for sharing your experiences. We’re the same!

[@justyne1896]

I totally relate with this video. I also grew up in a mostly white neighborhood, but I am culturally Hispanic. I was told so many times that I was ugly. In fact when I was in high school they had a "confessions" twitter page. People would post anonymously about things they were embarrassed of. One time a person posted, " I am attracted to black women." It was insane to me that liking black women is something to be ashamed of. When I went to college half black half hispanic women were "exotic." It really does a number on your self-esteem.

[@artistaaliyah7842]

So I don’t know if you will ever see this, but on the off chance that you do, I just want to let you know that me finding this video is exactly what I needed... I am a mixed, light skin girl, but I have type 4a hair. I relaxed my hair for a while because I always thought my hair was too ‘puffy’ and it wasn’t flowy like I wanted it to be, like how I saw the hair of other girls with my complexion. When I decided to go natural again, I had one of my friends comment on it saying she thought it would look different and that it didn’t look like the other light skins’ hair. Ugh, it just made me feel bad all over again because I felt like I couldn’t win, like I was a waste of a light skin because I didn’t have the loose curls that I was apparently supposed to have. Stumbling across this video is just what I needed, I needed to see someone who looked like me and has gone through similar feelings and thoughts as me.... so thank you so much, you are absolutely stunning! This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and I will definitely be subscribing :)

[@nancybreaux9684]

It's a cruel world. Cry and let it all out whenever you need to. Crying is healing.

[@IntegrityJones]

You’re beautiful and so is your personality

[@sporo2000]

Have you considered that the recruiter who asked "not to go batting them pretty green eyes" at the men felt your beauty could cause some jealousy among the men, that it wasn't colourism, but merely that fact that pretty women and loads of competitive testosterone can be a problem, and that it could even cross racial lines?

[@SharmaineJoyel]

Yes! Someone explained that she may have been trying to protect me in her own way which is definitely reasonable

[@hfo1967]

You're so beautiful to me. Growing up even in Nigeria, you're the absolute goal(facial features, skin tone). I prayed to God that I will miraculously grow out of my features as a child. I'm full African, my accent, dark skin, facial features and thick hair make life hard. Even the few men that ask me out do so because they think I'm some exotic creature. I honestly feel so happy and satisfied that someone with my hair type and similar issues is speaking up, I don't feel so alone. I know I'm beautiful and the right man will come at the right time just like you.

[@creolebeauty1]

Ma'am. You are gorgeous! I completely understand. My dad is creole and my mom is a dark skinned black woman (creole is a completely different mixed bag of worms). My sister is super light with freckles and has type 3C/4A hair. I am brown skin and I have kinky hair. I am currently transitioning, and I have always been the sister with "nappy hair". I'm in my 40's so this is an experience of learning to love all of me

[@vanhuz4728]

The issues you had growing up is the reason I told my husband a few years ago I don't want to leave New York City. There's racism everywhere but it's really bad once you leave NYC. It's seem more in your face, so to speak. I'm 45 and black. I never had experience where anyone one thought they were better because of their skin. My biracial girls look more white than black and I don't want them to be teased because because I'm their mother. Where I live it seems every other family is mixed. Love your channel by the way. Love your hair.

[@iateyursandwiches]

It's not too bad in some places in Jersey and upstate NY but yeah, expect to get side eyed if you go to certain small towns. Large cities in the south like Atlanta and DC are you best bet otherwise.

[@lashondawright455]

Vania Hughes I’m from Texas and my husband is from Norway and we moved to NYC for his job and we have actually experienced the opposite. We have been all over the world and never experienced the racism and hatred we have living here in New York going on 17 years now. We have been yelled at things like “oh you with your slave master?” On our anniversary night (married 18 years) and I have been called a sellout on the streets. We can’t wait to retire and move to my hometown in Texas where people don’t bother us. I always thought NY would be a beautiful melting pot. But it’s the most segregated place I’ve ever seen. We now have two children and we try and let them know they’re beautiful beings just to combat the ridiculousness they receive in the school cause they sometimes come home with dumb crap other kids say. If my husband’s job wasn’t so great as it is we would have left asap.

[@seeyouagain911]

@@lashondawright455 I'm sorry you had to experience that. I live in NYC too and I also experience racism. Whenever I tell people about it, I'm laughed at and discredited because they think racism can't exist in a diverse city like NYC. Stay strong. Don't let them make you run out of the city. Stay and thrive. Don't let them win and make them happy.

[@seeyouagain911]

NYC has its own racism too. Maybe it is not too pronounced like other places. If I find NYC racist, I just wonder what other places are like? It must be a nightmare.

[@Jabx84]

krokan that is wild. I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I’ve lived in NYC my whole life. I am a dark skinned black woman who has dated white men for years I’ve never experienced anything like what you’ve described here. My husband is a tall blonde haired blue eyed Scottish man! Never an issue - certainly not to the point of anyone telling anything at us (how horrifying!). I wonder part of the city this is happening? Also funny, that I’ve considered moving to Texas but am worried about racism there...

[@hazell1593]

As a light skinned woman, I ADORE dark skin women. They are the strongest women I know!! I hate the way they are portrayed. I blame it on social media and the main stream media. There are so many subtle and not so subtle examples of the misrepresentation, it's appalling!!!

[@SienneB]

PREACH 👏👏👏

[@kitty-zc1zf]

pink girl right

[@Princessdiary2020s]

Omgosh I wish we were irl friends 💔. I’m a light skin full black woman with type 4 hair and I face the same things as you. People often try to put me in the mixed girl category but then when they see my hair they kinda freak out. It sucks because my twin sister is dark skin so people don’t treat her correctly where as she has type 3 hair which elevates her over the other dark skin girls, often times I can tell when we go in public people are thinking I got the bad hair but good skin and etc. it’s honestly so messed up, thank you for making your videos you’re an inspiration and remind me that it’s okay to be myself and to love who I am despite what everyone else thinks.

[@IsmaAragto]

Oh hon, you are lovely. I am Somali and i have always experienced racism because of the fact I am black and I always lived in a predominantly white community. I hate how people are valued or devalued because of their racee or ethnicity.

[@KaylaElizabeth_h]

I swear we were the same person in High School. No boy friend, no boy interested, no date...not to any dance...not even to PROM! Also I went to White school, with a few mixed kids (me being one of them) and Indigenous/Native kids too. I never had any person say they thought i was too black, rather I had kids hate the fact that I claimed my black side and tried to shut me up. I would have girls come back after their family vacations with a deep tan and try to compare arm colour with mine...to prove I'm not mixed (I guess). Or even better, in High school on the way to a basketball tournament in Toronto (I lived in Northern Ontario, about 8 hours North of Toronto), one girl decided to walk herself from her seat over to mine...get to facelevel with me and tell me "when we get there, don't try to pretend you're black...because you're not. Don't embarrass us" (For the record, I never "tried" to act anything...whatever that means). That pissed me off, but I didn't know how to handle it. Another time, little (like she was under 5ft) blonde girl started "rapping" to a song in the cafeteria, and was continuously saying the N-word. I told her to STOP....her response was "oh don't worry, I wont say it in front of a real black person" ...it took all my teenage self control to not yeet her across the caf. This is the same girl who also said "Ohh I don't like black guys, I'm not attracted to them...but I want a mixed baby...and I would F**k a black guy to get a cute mixed baby" (yes my jaw dropped....and no I didn't yeet her here either...I really regret not doing it).

[@sallymeli-n2y]

Girl you had some crazy experiences. Just glad, I sense you are very strong and won't get put down but such words. Keep up 👍

[@digitallocations1423]

That rude girl who told you not to pretend you were black just wanted to make sure you don't claim a part of yourself that might make you proud. If she didn't believe you were who you are then she wouldn't give you that lecture. What an awful person.