The Angriest Breakup Email | Chosen Family Podcast

[@Axolautism]

"You have succumbed to the flaws of extreme arrogance" is such a raw line

[@Louisyed]

I need to say this to my ex 😂

[@bekcytalyor]

Picturing Daniel walking through New York and seeing people wearing "succumb to the flaws of your extreme arrogance" on sweaters and getting flashbacks to the email

[@significantsoil5345]

Can we all take a moment for Ashley just casually reading a rage mail she wrote years ago👏👏👏, because we know damn well we couldn't.

[@ashgavs]

Thank you for saying this I didn’t think anyone would ❤

[@stephtaylor6292]

thats true!

[@Neveko]

I must be extremely arrogant, but I think Ashley did nothing wrong 😤

[@RDawn]

Haha I'm constantly re=reading rage stuff i send to people not involved b/c even 10 years later i'm till angry and want other people to agree with me xD still claps to ashley!!

[@livbernemann]

“I have to put something in my tummy right now or I’m going to throw up” is so real 😂

[@parmisvazifeh140]

Mak is f**king glowing this episode.

[@rianplastow2844]

I totally was thinking the same thing!

[@EmilyCampbell-pq1os]

The way Alayna lights up when she knows there's tea is hilarious.

[@shobo4482]

she's so adorable omg haha

[@nicolegulino]

Shes just like me I fear

[@karisfunkartist]

Ashley and Alayna competitively promoting their own brands, while Mak quietly sits there, all "mom and dad are fighting again..."😅😂

[@kapowjam3462]

Mak: have you thought about making this email a musical? 😂😂😂😂

[@lc360]

That email is ruthless it's giving Willy Wonka screaming YOU STOLE FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS

[@Neveko]

Good DAY, sir

[@user-rn4ek9vn4f]

THAT'S IT, that's the exact energy, thank you for identifying it for me!

[@parmisvazifeh140]

I'm manifesting Ashley's rage-mailing abilities while climbing corporate ladder

[@lauracruzvaldes]

ratify ✨️ HAHSHSHSJ

[@OCS_Studios]

Ratify💅

[@yeahokay...actuallynah]

Ashley's email reads like a Real Housewives text thread

[@ashgavs]

HAHAH

[@kerizella]

don't know if it's the light the hair or the flannel but Mak looks amazing today

[@burntherest9118]

Straight girl with a MASSIVE crush on Mak here 🤚🏻

[@bousha3657]

Alaynna' tank top vs. Mak's flannel. Who wins?

[@hi-yo1kq]

Or maybe it’s just Mak

[@sophiea1270]

Ashley digging up that old email was absolute gold 😂 I love that we're all about to succumb to the flaws of our extreme arrogance 👉

[@innddiiiggoo]

Ash read him to FILTH and we cheered, man I love this pod

[@megancurtis9502]

"I'm sorry if that was boring." after reading the hottest tea this podcast has ever seen. As someone who has had a couple friendships end because the other person became horrible or ghosted me out of nowhere that email was honestly healing to hear. I totally get the regret but some people need to be put in their place and it sounds like he had already hurt a few people in the same way.

[@MiKa_EDS]

I am going to use succumb to the flaws of extreme arrogance in my everyday life now 😂

[@circleofleaves_zigzag]

LOL Fulton's foot stretching up from out of frame while Ashley's going off reading her letter to Ditching Daniel as if to say "settle down mum". Sounds like the full-vent draft of the letter that you burn without sending. But on a serious note, I wouldn't meet with him in Europe. The Europe tour is a huge deal for you, and you have precious little time in each city. That is your time. Imagine meeting with him somewhere in Europe, and it going poorly, and you end up being in a heated argument, and that souring your mood, energy and experience of that leg of the trip. There is no urgency. Just revisit the thought when you're back in NY.

[@kyoooooooooooooon]

Ashley's delivery of the email was perfect

[@mariem.5613]

36:12 Omg!! I'm SCREAMING that was my question!! Weeks ago😅 I'm having such a fan girl moment hearing Alayna read out something I wrote. This just made my day!! 🎉

[@ragreen2]

😊

[@8infinite8possiblities8]

That was an excellent question 👏😁thanks for asking it.

[@stephtaylor6292]

gosh i actually kind of amazed at the clear insights and self awareness that Ashley brought to that email and was able to express (albeit slightly aggressive lol, but we've all been there... anxious vs avoidant explosion) whilst in a rage type... kind of impressive that you were so clear at communicating and setting clear expectations and boundaries at 23! is this what starting therapy as a child does? Because im kind of impressed. (my break up rage emails similarly emotional but without all the insight...actually i dont think i even knew i was allowed to communicate my feelings and needs in conflict outside of family till mid to late 20s) ... loved this dramatic reading, haha, Also the camper trap HAS to be rewritten and put into production! its such a funny premise.

[@SelinaDangerShadow]

Dude GROWING is just such an uphill thing with learning and unlearning behaviors that will solidify into your personality. We’ve ALL done thinks that when we look back as adults we would want to unsend if we could. Thanks Ash for dissecting your past and being able to have this conversation about growing up

[@foxesrule9037]

Alayna should submit this video to her professors as a therapy session example showcasing her capabilities

[@lilarose692]

Ashley, that was NOT boring! This is exactly the tea we all need 👌 i love hearing about relationships bc so many of us also go through similar things

[@keiranoble]

i would for sure purchase the merch if it said “succumb to the flaws of extreme arrogance”🤷‍♀️

[@sestoeckl]

THIS

[@ericadecopas]

Mak is SO funny (the look at the camera when the other two said things were good between them was priceless)

[@williambriggs7037]

I honestly would absolutely buy a t-shirt or hoodie that says 'succumb to the flaws of extreme arrogance'. You have secured a customer here!

[@yoXneo]

Succumb to the flaws of your extreme arrogance! That’s the new Chosen Family motto! 🤣

[@alisontippett2618]

10:31 Mak’s face during this mom & dad interaction 😂

[@8infinite8possiblities8]

The way Alayna one upped Mak “I was straight!” L O L 👁️👄👁️ And the last paragraph of the angry email reminded me of Willy Wonka getting angry and saying “Good day sir! I said good day!!”

[@Sarah_sera_Sarah]

It's the cat paw casually stretching into the frame while Ashley is reading that email for me. 😻 #makeitamusical 😂

[@r.l.4400]

"You've mini-nepoed" 😂

[@damndaniel605]

Im european, but every time the canada vs USA joke comes up I relate SO hard to Alayna, cause I always tease my american friends the same way. 'Dont you come for ranch' had me ROLLING

[@PawsitivelyQuestionable]

Mak has that Midwestern glow wtf actually gorgeous

[@SieraLynJM]

For me the worst part about misophonia is that not only does other people chewing bother me, but sometimes if I am already overestimated or anxious my own chewing will bother me so much I need to stop eating 🥴 Similar to Alayna it's wet chewing that gets me. Also, repetitive sounds (pen clicking, tapping, a ball bouncing, even snoring) unlock a rage like no other. It is pretty horrible tbh 😂

[@d14551]

I have had misophonia all my life but I only learned there was a name for it until a few years ago. And yes, it's the outsize reaction - the rage or the feeling of needing to flee. I agree, the label really helps.

[@JuMixBoox]

I know this will be too late, but I also don't think you should meet up with Daniel. Yes, you had wildly different attitudes to the project you were working on together, but you quitting your job and basically saying you are willing to work on this 24/7 and him not willing to give it any time at all wasn't the only issue, him not honouring that was. He made a commitment, one that greatly affected his best friend's life, and didn't even bother giving you a timeline or an explanation or any statement. Him saying no then and quitting the project would have been much kinder than wasting months of your life with uncertainty and confusion. When he got that email in June, from someone he cares about no less, that was his chance. Although that final email was a lot, I think you were also very justified in your feelings and even then, when this escalated and he got his last chance to save your relationship if not your project, he didn't admit fault and instead got passive aggressive because he had no real defense for himself and that shows again how little he cared about you, your time or your feelings, as you had already figured out by then. He didn't react when you tried to be there for him while he was grieving, and that was his right, but the ball was in his corner. Him texting you "let's hang out" with just logistics, for a setting it would be pretty inappropriate for him to do what he needs to do in, which is apologise to you and thank you for still caring and tell you clearly what he's looking for right now, isn't enough. He doesn't get to emotionally hijack your moment of joy. If you want to reconnect, please make sure to do it on your terms at every corner because you are a stronger person now but old patterns are also hard to break out of. If he's been thinking about you lately and this felt like the perfect excuse for him to reach out, great. Tell him you can't because you are busy, but you could meet up for a coffee in New York. If what he wants is talk to you, he'll be happy about that. Protect your heart, Ashley. I hope you spent none of your previous time on tour thinking about him.

[@ashgavs]

Totally, I think it’s worth reiterating I didn’t go to that funeral with expectations about the friendship, but I felt I needed to be there for him and it established he didn’t feel the same, which was freeing.

[@JuMixBoox]

@@ashgavs Of course! I'm glad you also got something out of that for yourself. And I obviously don't actually know your real life situation, I just wanted to comment after hearing you talk about it because I feel like a lot of us have been in these situations before. Thank you for replying and sharing in the first place!

[@clarabotrel5914]

I used to have a really toxic friend called Daniel in high school so the fact that the THREE of you thought about that name made me feel seen

[@chaz072]

PLEASE put succumbed to the flaws of extreme arrogance on a cap or SOMETHING. we need it and we will buy them all this is the best episode yet !!!!!

[@acssara]

Can we get some merch already? All of these lines are hilarious😂. Loving all of you and the podcast🥰

[@jami1241]

The Camper Trap 🤣

[@brendaj1267]

Omg! Loved ashley reading us her old email. The tea was piping hot and she read that man to filth😌😌 I genuinely would love more of these. Phrase of the day:"you have succumbed to the flaws of extreme arrogance"

[@insertheadphones]

you guys are so protective of Ashley I love it.

[@morganmitchellcreative]

Mak had fire one liners this episode

[@TwizzleTown]

Ashley, I'm glad you spoke about what happened with your friend! It wasn't boring and very validating as someone who has dealt with an individual who has succumbed to the flaws of their extreme arrogance

[@Zweigenhaft9]

Look, was that email coming from an unhealed and deeply hurt place? Yes. Were there also just mad raw bars on bars? Also yes. I love how Ashley is still an artist of words even in the ugliest/most regrettable of moments 😂💜 love it!!

[@apoorvsingh4459]

Reading the title first I thought wait who broke up 😱😅

[@yeahokay...actuallynah]

been watching old vids from each of their channels when they first met. so sweet to see the fam grow

[@TheOccupationOfBeingYourself]

OMG talking about misophonia thank you! I have the same problem with chewing sounds it's literally like my whole system shuts down and I get unreasonably outraged when someone's chewing. It made me feel so seen to discover this is something other people experience and know about too cause no one would believe me before 😂

[@BrittanyS-11]

Sounds like the kind of guy who values people when he feels like they have something to offer him, or when he perceives them as valued by / important to others. I wonder if he’ll be in Europe with people who want to go to your, now sold out, show.

[@BrittanyS-11]

Alayna’s right about the Canadian chip game. All dressed chips slap.

[@sami-yc3xj]

ALAYNA you are magic indeed, I honestly cannot wait for your pod!

[@lainebow720]

i would pay to watch the reverse parent trap it sounds so funny and such a genius idea

[@sam2633]

I'm only at "this episode is stupid" and just wanna say no. I'm loving it

[@zazajf]

I totally have the same issue with people eating. The first time I heard the word misophonia was my younger sibling reading an article about how it's related to being really controlling, so that was fun

[@mariannetfinches]

This was excellent! We got a hilarious rant, we got tea, we got Ashley's would-be villain origin story.... I'm thrilled honestly. And Daniel doesn't sound like he's worth the effort. Hope Ashley had a fabulous time in Europe 🇪🇺

[@sam2633]

love alayna's response to ashley's honesty and love ashley's honesty

[@michaelliebow735]

That monologue read like the most pure form of copy pasta

[@ragreen2]

Love the episode! Also "The Flaws of Extreme Arrogance" needs to be a book - that is later turned into a play - that is turned into a movie - that then has enough sequels to milk it of any goodness to die a horrible death ... until 20 years later when it is rebooted into a mini-series on streaming media that reclaims its former glory .. 😉

[@Mariethechaotic]

35:39 that is the most AuDHD thing you've ever said Mak. I am the same way. Except I don't have alarms but I do starve myself until I feel like I'm going to throw up...unrelated to my eating disorder, literally just because I forget or I'm too fixated on what I'm doing

[@tayto139]

Daniel sounds like a best friend I used to have and we had a falling out as well -- through therapy I realized that he was a narcissist and gaslighter, and emotionally abused me throughout our friendship. I never sent an email like that, but if you ever got a peek into my mind regarding my feelings of anger, frustration, hurt, and sadness around this, I bet it would sound incredibly similar. I don't ever see us talking again, let alone being friends. I believe in second chances but by the time I finally cut him off, I had given him thousands and thousands of chances and passes on shitty behavior

[@WolfSlumberStudy]

Yess new episode!! I'm gonna go bury myself Mariana Trench _deep_ into my blankets and get ready to fall asleep to this with a smile on my face :) thanks guys, sending love, one of the cousins

[@Mialotic]

I know capacity makes it difficult, but not speaking to someone is really hard on the other person. Even if you get someone else to check up on that person is better than total ghosting - referring to the hurt of friend ghosting

[@ashgavs]

I agree but with silence of 14? years on both sides doesn’t merit a response and a negative response could be crueler

[@Louisyed]

​@@ashgavsI think this person is meaning that the friend was being unfair to you then, not that you're being unfair to them now

[@Louisyed]

Yes ghosting is awful. Being ignored is genuinely more damaging to children than being spoken to negatively. Hence why kids would often rather have attention for being naughty than not get any. We're wired to be social animals, evolutionarily being rejected is literally a threat to our lives.

[@fluterem8866]

The Camper Trap sounds like it would make a great movie, and I would so watch it.

[@carrieboice9988]

Love you guys so much! Thanks for all the laughs!!

[@isobeltaylor7792]

My wife has a friend like yours Ashley and I don’t always know people can change enough to make them a friend you need in your life

[@TheMabuhayShuffle]

Ashley's email sounds like me venting to my therapist about when people have crossed me lmao

[@W12_95]

going feral wondering where Alayna got that perfectly oversized white shirt, plus everyone is glowing in this episode. Energy is peak ❤

[@LlamaLlamaRedPajamas]

1. The rage email sounds exactly like something I’d do at 23 also 2. Ashley you didn’t ask but if it was me, I’d get a casual coffee with Daniel (maybe in nyc tho) with the internal knowledge that I’m keeping him at arms length. Sometimes it’s nice to reconnect and catch up, but set a boundary with yourself that you’re not going to get close to him again. But maybe I just like putting myself into toxic situations with friends idk!!

[@ryla157]

justice for ketchup chips!! thank you for making me feel seen Alayna

[@WAMilyFamily]

I think I have misophonia, too. I never thought about it until you mentioned that the sound triggers fight or flight. My lizard brain goes bananas over certain repetitive sounds.

[@asleep_now]

🔥YOU HAVE SUCCUMBED TO THE FLAWS OF EXTREME ARROGANCE 🔥 I was dying laughing at Ashley's reading of her email, banger episode also 34:40

[@tambob82]

The UK has the BEST crisp/chip game. Worcester sauce, tomatoe, beef and mustard, scampi, prawn cocktail.. But salt n' vinegar will always be #1.

[@gtcubes]

I love that Ashley came up with a fake name and proceeded to never use it once 😂

[@julzamidala2865]

Alayna so excited for your podcast. it will be so great!

[@RowanWolf22]

I’m actually also one of those who has to have timers set to remind me to eat! It’s VERY common in the ADHD community.. out of sight out of mind; it’s really hard for some of us to remember about food until it’s too late! (And if you take medication, it makes it even worse because the meds put a lot of ADHDrs off food..) the amount of times I hyperfixate on something for hours only to realise I hadn’t eaten all day 😅 it’s why the alarms and timers help us a ton!!!

[@emmyisurmom]

I would also 1000% watch that musical

[@whowhenhowwhy]

My read of the situation: this guy is the kind of person who needs an external reason to do things, aka you will be in the same internationally, even though he could have reached out any day he wanted. Fits the not dependable picture you painted.

[@susannahsaurus]

On the note of Love on the Spectrum energy doppelgängers, comedian Chris Distefano IS Tanner and I can’t stop seeing them in each other.

[@ripley2995]

hahaha wow I never realized

[@CrimsonWolfie]

Ashley! Please come to New Mexico 🙏🏽🌵

[@chrisoneill325]

Still no dates in New Jersey!! Come back here, Ashley!!

[@sam2633]

the way alayna says "I was straight" 😂😂

[@DanielleDrewa]

Can’t wait to see you in Tulsa Ashley!

[@canadianicedragon2412]

Alayna's home... the shock value... Also fun episode, even (especially?) with the angry Ashley throwback.... My 2¢ on seeing him again... You remember him, it has been years, you were friends... your choice of course but my question would be Do you want to see what he's become and maybe decide if "never" is the right choice? Don't get me wrong, he sounds incompatible with you back then, and if he hasn't changed, still incompatible. But if you have any doubts that completely cutting ties was "too much" then for YOUR peace of mind maybe meet him... but maybe not in you limited Europe time.

[@ashleighxnicole3852]

can we get this as a movie pls? I love the reverse parent trap

[@ttarotkidd]

Mak is not beating the autistic allegations in this episode 🤣🤣 (as a fellow audhd person, I also have to set timers to remind myself to eat bc I can't tell if I'm hungry or not lmao)

[@NayaNe17]

Mak's hairstyle is so cute✨

[@belle8324]

this was such a great episode omg ily guys

[@moony788]

„Why am I not famous yet this is so stupid“

[@Raddiebaddie]

Ketchup chips and all dressed are so good! I need them here in the US 😂

[@scubagoldfish45]

Yeah for sure if you succumb to the flaws of extreme arrogance you gotta rectify it before it gets ratified.

[@cateyrose977]

my sister has misophonia with forks and things scraping plates and i feel bad because we get annoyed at her for yelling at us to stop but i know she cant help how it bothers her

[@farkroy]

Thank you for defending America Ashley

[@kelbyrogers9741]

How horrible and hard age 23 is not talked about enough!

[@sarahm7086]

The ways I just pretend I’m a part of this podcast too lol Ashley, as a fellow scorpio and sentimental sucker for friendship, You said serious learning and growth takes at least two years… hasn’t it been 12? I don’t think there’s anything weird about meeting in the EU vs New York… more of a why not? Seems sort of kismate (I dont feel like googling how to properly spell that) and europe is nice! Plus if a meetup went sour, its now a that specific place in Europe memory, not a mutual NY one.

[@notmyrealname550]

EPISODE WHERE YOU READ OLD JOURNAL ENTRIES PLEASE!

[@heyishitagg]

this was maybe the best ep ever ❤️

[@trueholayoga]

such a good episode!

[@benjulesrun9057]

anything embarrassing you can find in my apartment, you can also find receipts for in my phone

[@slaysweetie21]

KETCHUP CHIPS R SOOO GOOD 😫😫 FELLOW CANADIAN HERE

[@honeybri7061]

You had cold tea with your dinner.