Chris D'Elia Hates Surprising People With His Stance On Drugs | Netflix Is A Joke

[@poeticwalrus5405]

Just casually thinking about how he's never had a drink in his life, whereas John Mulaney was a teenage alcoholic/addict. Life's funny

[@basketanand]

Same. Chris D' Elia at 12, discovering rap music and comedy but never drinking or doing drugs. John Mulaney at 12. Discovered comedy at 3, ready to be comedian, smoking, drinking, trying all the drugs. Chris D' Elia at 40, looks like a homeless eagle who's going to tell you all about their life's struggle beating a heroin addiction. John Mulaney at 40. Looking like a choir boy in a Sunday suit who's never known a cloudy day.

[@MarcelPolman]

nice juxtaposition containing 2 paradoxes

[@trevor4835]

Marcel Polman im gonna fart

[@shiestysean]

Fr fr

[@cobra_XCI]

John Mulaney IS irish tho

[@katiannamorawitz7342]

I think Chris had a way better childhood than most comedians

[@hadolfitler3316]

Funny enough, he actually says that in his special

[@Sinister1008]

Looks at bill burr

[@isaacjohanning5273]

So what

[@lewqitz]

That's why his new Netflix special is called no pain.

[@KingOfTheOzone]

His dad is a millionaire Hollywood director.

[@MoeruHoeru]

Do you have a pen? No Well, do you have *TWO* pens?! Lmao 🤣

[@followerofgod6558]

I died

[@crimsonfire574]

F

[@ameerulaqmalmalek9470]

That's a very valuable lesson for parent right there

[@MachineGunMouth]

yea, because it's just that simple. clearly you don't have kids...

[@yazanadnan1977]

DivineMind317 My parents raised me the same way and I can confirm, it works.

[@algum.cara1]

Dosent necessarily work. My parents raised me like that and i drank and smoked alot of weed when i was like 16-18. Then i went to college, got a GF and an internship. And decided the pot was fucking up my motivation so i quited. At the end of the day, you're your own person and you gonna do what you gonna do

[@algum.cara1]

@ThatOneOddLookingDog ThatBarksAtYou meh, i never said it was a big deal. The guy's point in the vid was that if your parents are cool about it you wont want to drink and shit. And i was saying it isnt true Also i dont know why some pride themself of never drink. Drinking is fine, just dont over do it. I still drink, i just dont get hammered 3 days a week like a did when i was a teen

[@algum.cara1]

@Playlist Dealer my feels, mate. Hope you're better. Best wishes

[@MrOskar899]

His shirt and pants combo make him look like the first patient of a successful dwarfism cure

[@ork4661]

You must have a lot of success with women Or Men

[@atranscendentalexperience6483]

Omg that is so perfect!

[@cjr1881]

Nothing to do with his outfit. Dude’s torso is 2/3 his body.

[@madikiestherkhiangte9884]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@l.k.3304]

Grahahahaha

[@icarus4302]

Funny thing is, hes right. Its the child mentality of "oh, im not allowrd to do this you say? Well im an angsty teen with a problem to authority!"

[@joeyj4714]

And when you turn 21? An can. Legally drink ?? For some one so prude he sure cusses like a sailor

[@rosag1788]

Being a mother and a grandmother and being in this world for so long, I think that even it's a funny joke in the way he puts it, it's not a joke. I can't bet it's always like that, but it's true in many cases around me.

[@icarus4302]

Lol yall need to chill XD

[@XGames-94]

Not really. My parents treated alcohol like sodas and saw other drugs with a lot of disdain. I ended up getting addicted to the gym during my adolescence and didnt drink or smoke. Then you enter adulthood and drugs all of a sudden become appealing. And it wasnt drugs they told me not to take that i took, it was alcohol that they endorsed.

[@jerrellbevers6071]

Or how about when you steal drugs from your parents when ya hit 10-ish? I could tell he's never drank or done drugs because he wasn't funny or relatable. Funny for _pastor like, sobriety,_ sure.....bit like "real funny"? Not even remotely close.

[@CarlosPenasGrl]

Nothing is funnier than the frustrated need to rebel when your parents give you nothing to rebel against 😂

[@jimmybacas8003]

Can't even use the 'I was drunk' or 'I was high' defense. Damn..dude is fried.

[@kayyquinn2702]

RIGHT ! he has 0 excuses now

[@PhillipStudios182]

The funniest part is that the girls said he offered them alcohol😂😂

[@ccassidy9090]

@@PhillipStudios182 eesh that makes it more uncomfortable, offering someone alcohol when you're drinking is not that weird. But if you're sober and you're trying to get a young girl drunk even if they're not underage that's creepy

[@jonnamaestro]

And yet, nothing is proven, stop with this bullshit

[@nlysts]

The girls lied and he had the conversations to prove it.

[@rensmith7444]

As he’s doing this joke I’m like really?! Wow

[@bigfan1041]

Not like, ever ever?

[@rensmith7444]

Matthew Jamison hmmm ok 👍🏾

[@MichaelDZ440]

Yo I thought he did coke

[@rensmith7444]

Michael me too!

[@rensmith7444]

Matthew Jamison stop @ me with your dumb questions and statements.

[@Nicol3Brianna]

“What’s that? Yea yea yea good idea mom and dad yea, I’ll be right back from not trying all those drugs” 💀💀💀

[@Lyonessi]

He moves like a 2d character this is hilarious

[@camthedestroyer1490]

“I want to disobey but I don’t what it is you want me to do” 😂

[@AnimationBlenderSFMHarrison402]

I came here for the comments but was really surprised there were none .

[@alateralus88]

Haha Agreed.

[@glowingowl221]

Same

[@camthedestroyer1490]

“Give me some rules so I can be naughty” 😂

[@danielmoore1292]

This comment isn't aging well 😂

[@camthedestroyer1490]

@@danielmoore1292 Sadly not 😂

[@Lefthandman333]

Wonder how much longer this will be on Netflix for

[@AshlilAstra]

Lol I assume not long

[@thomaslambert9582]

Forever 👍

[@PixelCortex]

Lol dude

[@legendaryfitcrew1272]

That two pen shit is hilarious I’m going to ask everyone for two of everything lol 😂

[@l.k.3304]

Hahahahhaahah i almost pissed myself laughing

[@ahmedmahon2022]

Can you imagine how pristine his brain is

[@luisa__frei]

Andrew Mahon this aged well

[@rmbassett58]

Not very.

[@michaelhaynes4946]

There's studies saying low doses of ehtanol everyday helps your brain clear waste in itself faster my man.

[@rmbassett58]

@@michaelhaynes4946 yeah but what kind of alcohol, and how low of a dose? I'm pretty sure my dads 5th of jack per night doesn't count

[@sean997]

I don't drink or do drugs.....my brain is far from pristine I promise you that!lol

[@sarighasenfeld8228]

Damn I thought FOR SURE he is sometimes on something during his podcast

[@susie7336]

Sarig Hasenfeld yeah, it’s all the caffeine from his coffee.

[@amberlee4536]

My parents had the same stance and I barely touched anything until I was about 21, 22, because I eventually came to the conclusion I should let my brain finish developing before I started playing with chemical reactions up there. It's been a pretty wise decision so far.

[@okeefe757]

His voice of the guy questioning whether he ever drank sounds a hell of a lot like Burnt-out Chysler.

[@psalas0378]

The fact that he is still funny without doing any drugs is awesome.

[@MachineGunMouth]

what kind of dumb ass theory is that? hell most people who say they don't do drugs are the biggest druggies out here...

[@davefarlow]

Gotta point. The things about comedians is they can lie and pass it off just for a joke. So I always question them.

[@islas357]

Dave Farlow hes said it so many times in podcasts it seems genuine

[@stubert94]

i thought he would've eaten edibles or something, but hey! good for him

[@stubert94]

@first last it takes willpower

[@jessicaaimee755]

sky Or ignorance? Research has shown intelligent people tend to be higher in “openness to experience” thus making them more intrigued by altered states and more drawn to drugs. Stupid people tend to mindlessly swallow the propaganda. Not always true tho, obviously

[@stubert94]

@@jessicaaimee755 either way, he's a funny dude and that's what matters

[@TheLuismaBeaTle]

@@jessicaaimee755 be like "weeell if intelligent people do it.."

[@noseyshortss]

Jessica Aimee okay thanks

[@sierra7202]

My parents raised me the same way. Never did drugs either, which most people in today's society find hard to believe I didn't at least try. I did try alcohol and drank some in my early 20's but not much. I'm 50 now and probably haven't had a drink in 14 years. Before that I probably had one drink in the 5 years before. Just never been a big drinker. If I decided I wanted a drink though, I would be okay having one.

[@calisongbird]

Sierra that’s almost my exact same story. I’m 52. I may have a glass of wine like once a year, if that.

[@超虎生活]

Using the name of an unidentified cadavre is not nearly as good as being an unidentified cadavre........I say you take the plunge.

[@tf5302]

John Doe early front runner for dumbest comment of 2020

[@ricfig207]

I too waited ti try alcohol until after 21 I don't need it or crave it. I'll have a drink every once in a while. But my brother has been drinking since he was a teen so he's a full blown alcoholic no one can stand him while he's drinking. Dumps all his money into it. As most people who start to drink early on they have a hard time just being chill without it.

[@katie-ml7yp]

haha fucking loser

[@Dramatello]

The parents part is so true. Kids are always testing limitations and so the best way to see your kid crosses your limitations is to just give them some.

[@vampjoseph]

"aren't you going to tell me not to do drugs?" "you're not cool enough to get people to give you drugs let alone take them."

[@RollingShutter]

Hannibal Burress "Chris does not smoke weed, does never drink, doesn't do any drugs. His only vice is performing horrible stand up comedy around the country." pretty acurate.

[@shariqsonindahouse9663]

Comedy is subjective, I find Chris extremely funny. I find it really odd when people say otherwise.

[@PhillipStudios182]

This aged like fine wine

[@krysruben491]

Im 1 month sober , i sometimes get the urge, but this definitely reminded me i dont need it, even tho you werent trying to motivate me, thanks chris

[@sierra7202]

Congratulations!

[@letocoirausted]

Keep going my man. If there is anythin I can help you. I have a youtube page. And I can connect with you as a reminder and way to help you, please let mw know

[@MyProGamer10]

Well, it’s been one year. How’s your sobriety going?

[@aileenc3724]

Chris D'Elia is such a good role model

[@joeyj4714]

How ? ,he cusses like a sailor for someone so prude and wears baggy shirts an listens to Eminem I don't think you're allowed to listen to,Eminem an never drink

[@aileenc3724]

@@joeyj4714 he's got character and doesn't take crap from anyone, including people like you

[@coal2710]

Uh oh

[@outphoxed91]

This comment did not age well

[@paulcarr2207]

Bahaaaaaa

[@XHitsugaX]

I feel it on a personal level. I had never drank alcohol except a sip of champagne at my graduation. Never smoked. Never smoked weed. And so many people do not believe.

[@bluebananafilms2834]

Looser

[@yourdailydoseofnegativity8964]

“Fuckinnn HAY” 😂😂😂😂

[@cindy_nicole]

I've never related to anything more. People are always so shocked lol

[@mikeeaston4431]

Nope

[@stephenm4819]

“Just have one” 😡😡

[@MyProGamer10]

@@stephenm4819 I hate that! I don’t cave in to peer pressure at all. Being 21, I’m kind of known as the goody two shoes/party pooper. I don’t drink or smoke or anything and I refuse to.

[@stephenm4819]

@@MyProGamer10 same here, I’m 36 and never been drunk in my life. Yet people still try.

[@MyProGamer10]

@@stephenm4819 Heck, my friend tried to convince me to go to a bar even last night. I’ve only been to one bar, and I got a water. I’ve had people ask my age twice (in the same conversation) once I told them I don’t drink. But they absolutely still try.

[@ChargedCovers]

I like it how stories like this always bring out the people who need to defend drinking and drugs and calling people names, just a lovely time to read some comments

[@ericgraham875]

I've been clean from narcotics for a long time and personal opinion the people that brag about doing drugs are just as annoying as the ones that brag that they dont. But i love chris hes one of my favorite comedians.

[@Jassbusters]

God damn Chris is so young. Look at those shoulders.

[@cosmotect]

Its a mountain range is what it is

[@crazyman1229]

They say that the LOTR trilogy was filmed on his delts.

[@cosmotect]

@@crazyman1229 I lol'd

[@daviddavis1322]

Youngest man alive

[@ashleycampbell1906]

He's 40 though

[@juliagoolia72]

And yet, if you’ve ever seen him play drunk on tv, he is the best.

[@timboslice8559]

I still don’t believe him lol. He just looks like a guy that definitely has

[@dm3402]

I was the same way with this burning man looking dude I meant at a bus stop once who said he never smoked weed, it wasnt until he said "I swear to god, I've never smoked weed, haven't smoked a single one" I was like, shiet you right you haven't

[@peet4921]

Reality is for people who can't face drugs.

[@MyProGamer10]

Darryl Minaker Hell, my mom and brother have smoked weed and I’ve never even touched it, and I don’t plan on it.

[@dm3402]

@@MyProGamer10 Dont ever let anybody try to chide you for it. If you treat your body like a temple, dont really enjoy for any drink/drugs or care for your health or whatever, thats your choice and so will be respected. Thats how it should be. _yo but if you ever tryna get blazed though let me knoe bro_

[@breakfastattiffanys741]

Besides his muscles, Chris has aged like his lived off whisky sours and cigarettes alone for the past 30 years.

[@johnkoch9315]

“You seen Terminator?” “No.” “You seen Terminator 2?” “Oh, yeah.”

[@colloquially]

Chris D'Elia looks like Thom Yorke if Thom Yorke was younger, healthier and unhealthier at the same time

[@jennifermariejoyce]

This makes no sense, but also perfect sense.

[@milojones8508]

You'd think with all the shoes he owns he could buy a new shirt for his special.

[@markelkhatib2524]

You can buy more than one white or all black tee at a same time and its normal to wear em all the time lol

[@MrJesseforsell]

@@markelkhatib2524 i do that

[@poppapiltch5601]

He doesn't drink, he just gives it to 16 year olds.

[@Jennifer-cx4wq]

Fuck I forgot about that show , was it You?

[@T-Rixy]

Jennifer No, that’s real life

[@jasonpetri8013]

@@Jennifer-cx4wq and irl lol

[@Jennifer-cx4wq]

@@jasonpetri8013 oh shit

[@nlysts]

The girls lied and he had the text conversations to prove it. Came out a few days ago

[@whyfoo88]

Lmao the fact that I’ve swung back more alcohol than Chris makes me feel uncomfortable

[@jayansahi6656]

Yo maaan. Idk all the facts but don't hate on his comedy. He's a comedic gem and we really need that rn k?

[@wweHBKfan11]

Oh so that's how he remembers EVERY childhood memory

[@TheBlashMusic]

And now he's chillin on Xanny island

[@trevor4835]

They did my mans dirty

[@ctrainbeats]

the kermit the frog type inflection he gives sometimes is so great lol

[@merelmarr]

Just from this part, every time I say "really?" in a casual conversation, I remember Chris and I sound like him too. Ever since I first heard it, that's the only way I've been saying "really" and I can't help it lmao. He's my favorite

[@Denito-rw8hm]

His facial expressions killed me😂😂😂

[@ac-ry1ml]

lmfao! omg.. just loved chris d’elia more after this. so funny

[@josephmccoy1770]

Can't wait for Chris to come back man. It's just a matter of time.

[@laneythelame]

Omg he's so right though, my mom was exactly like that and i've never done drugs lol

[@kaaay40]

Omg this is actually so relatable. My parents were never strict about drugs as well and I guess that’s why I went through high school never even being interested

[@mattchapman7764]

Haha he sounds like Bert when he's doing the other guys voice.

[@aactionglass]

Matt Chapman. Are you the same Matt from Michigan?

[@Kaunte]

And he kind of sounds like Patton Oswalt when he talks about the pens

[@ellllllo77]

my parents sat me in a Aa meeting for alcoholics when they found a bottle of whisky under my bed when i was 14 ..i never touched the stuff again

[@oliviathai]

Same!!! My parents let me do whatever I wanted to do. The result? Never drank. Never did drugs.

[@chewface]

There's actually some deep truth to this bit. By telling a child NOT to do something...makes them naturally curious about it. Makes them want to rebel against you. Makes them obsessed with it. God told us we could have everything in the garden. Except for that ONE thing. That ONE tree. Look how well that turned out ;)

[@paracet_amol]

you look at your kids and you go "...fUckIn...HEY" bruh

[@uncleiroh4650]

That was 100% Bert, lol

[@XeroFailGames]

I'm 41...same way never done drugs or drank....

[@soundmixerporter]

CAFFEINE IS A DRUG, BRO! 😂

[@newaccount1268]

Eh it has the potential to be “abused” as a drug, it’s a psychoactive the same way aspirin is.. Lot of worse drugs than a cup of coffee 😂

[@cosmotect]

Well there you go. Chris had great parents, no wonder he turned out a cool dude

[@Emcostanza]

My parents told me not to and watched me like hawks....I do not live a sober life lol

[@noelaguilar986]

This explains a lot why he got caught up actually. I dig it

[@faq49]

thank god you brought the follow up pen question loool

[@storageunit2683]

I'm the same. People trip when I tell them I dont smoke or drink. But I drink water and they like "okay...."

[@a-a-ron7325]

I saw one of his standups and I remember thinking to myself, "dude he is on something".

[@jameskaiser4942]

What a funny guy😂

[@Bori.1776]

He doesn’t do drugs, he does kids.

[@SuperAKIBHUSSAIN]

Fax

[@ursaminor9780]

I had something similar, but also different. My parents don’t drink, my Dad is especially enraged by it (his mother was a neglectful addict to the stuff), so they spoke poorly of it and wouldn’t let us drink it as children, but as we got closer to our rebellious teen years their approach changed to “we’d rather you didn’t, but if you get drunk and need help call us immediately. We’d rather have you safe and unpunished than dead from hiding.

[@calisongbird]

Smart parents. You’re here to tell about it.

[@BenReillySpydr1962]

I feel it.

[@farismoussa8842]

This was hilarious 😂

[@Rex_Smashington]

Had we only known his vice wasn't weed or booze. It was just little girls. Much better. What a wholesome fella.

[@hornedlobster]

That pen bit had a Mitch Hedberg feel to it.

[@Je551kuhhh]

You want a frozen banana?

[@tamx796]

LMAO my parents are like that 😂

[@googeewoogeetrybe5025]

Dude his characters are so fun to watch

[@McShag420]

D'Elia: "My only vice is underage girls."

[@imonit1177]

This is really bad ass.

[@Greg-TC]

You mean he wasn’t even intoxicated when he was snapchatting those underage girls?

[@mandilynn24]

Chris you are the best!!!! Funniest shit ever! Thank you.....❤

[@DrazydBaraka]

This was a good one! 😂😅

[@missrandomautty]

I love this guy

[@sajpaj67]

Fuckin...HEY!

[@isaklanden3883]

... but he loves surprising kids!

[@kanikagaral7637]

Best parenting hack ever. Confuse them so much about ur rules they don't know what to do. And just go on baout normal life as teenager but little confused

[@MentorRick]

Turns out his drug of choice was underage girls

[@024yara]

yoooo 😳

[@kevv13b]

Oooooooooooppssss!

[@LetsUseLogic131]

I'm pretty certain there is 0 evidence of these things. But awesome that you just repeat what you hear without doing any research. Especially when it ruins someone's career.

[@annamariaci]

@@LetsUseLogic131 There is plenty of evidence from the girls themselves, they provided sceenshots. I think a good rule of thumb is when multiple allegations towards one person come to light, they are generally true

[@MrTose12]

@@annamariaci the evidence was texts between them, and only one of the girls was underage, I really don't know how that can be a sexual assault, the guy was just being creepy on dms

[@ArticruciA]

1:40 lmfaooo too true

[@love4music1992]

Yeah his vice is teenagers not alcohol.

[@vladimirgertner3960]

There's a reason "barely legal" is one of the most popular categories.

[@Brother_Nazarite]

Reeeeeaaally, dude!?

[@jogoode12]

I love this. I don't even know why! HILARIOUS!!!

[@Andrews2490]

I just saw this today, it's hilarious.

[@jas9239]

Andrews2490 you thought so? Man I was so disappointed in it..maybe I had too high of expectations..I guess I find him funnier on ten minute podcast or any time he can fuck with callen is good, I think that’s him at his best when he’s with other people

[@Tuxiedo]

@@jas9239 ive been a longtime fan of the podcast and he says that his stand up is just different material. i find the podcast funnier but nobody gives a fuck hahah

[@jas9239]

Tuxiedo yeah his podcast has good moments, I check out things on my suggested from time to time..I almost went to see him last summer but it didn’t work out..I guess it would have been this material..maybe I would have found it funnier live

[@chase276]

Proud of him

[@14jaredsteven60]

Give me a rule so I can be naughty🤣🤣

[@xnrivudxkskalflvk4075]

sounded like the guy saying really was Bert

[@drivewaystar6485]

Lol it looks like he got hammered and feel against a barbed wire gate

[@brendaluna173]

Growing I always wondered why grown ups drank alcohol so I tried wine when I was 10 and my stomach felt like it burn so I never drank alcohol ever again.

[@michaelwelch442]

You gotta try some white claws

[@internziko]

Someone once commented that he looks like a live action Rick Sanchez and now that's all i can think about whenever i see him.

[@MrOvlov02]

that backwards walk was silly

[@kylecook7187]

I wish he would surprise me with good comedy.

[@sophilumen8570]

This guy is amazing

[@jacobeestrickland8235]

if this guy is really sober, the whole debate can end. drugs really aren’t the problem.

[@gordonramsaysexdwarf7186]

Will Chris be opening for Louis CK or Bill Cosby now??

[@sifatshams1113]

I'm actually kind of proud of him.