Congratulations Podcast w/ Chris D'Elia | EP98 - One Anus-Grab Away

[@junedreamer]

“We are all one anus grab away from our brains breaking” finally something i can submit as my senior quote

[@michaelegan8779]

Make it happen!!!

[@austin7530]

What's your Instagram hot stuff

[@jonathanglidden951]

you’re a dumb fuck lol

[@ella-zi6lt]

hit it up gir

[@picklerick2275]

It's called "Cusping".

[@theogbunn7672]

Crip Delinga is my favorite comedian. Like when he says "ITTTT DIDDNNNTTT MAKEEE AAA DDDIIIINNNGGG". Hilarious

[@wesleyspencer9042]

*dint

[@jefferyhoshaw9983]

🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

[@pistolpete7504]

"Diddin maykagh DENNNNNN"

[@isaiahcastillo5186]

I like how i say it dooooeeesssnttt maaakkeee a Deeeennntttt when I buy shit , but it makes a dent ....

[@grifterofeas3]

I look at the "it doesn't make a dent" idea as something beyond financial concerns. To me, it's more about not letting "haters" or anyone else bring you down. If someone's talking shit - it shouldn't make a dent, you're better than that. Finance is just once way to interpret to actual "dent" that's being made.

[@isaiahcastillo5186]

@@grifterofeas3 I never thought about it like that . You have changed my life...

[@atho_s]

isaiah castillo I bought two doesn’t make a dent shirts and it made a painful dent.

[@Ironman829]

Ya'cuda That's why

[@drunkwritersroom1695]

Not even

[@caposwat]

Episode 100 should be a Juan Fyre reveal

[@ericbecerra5893]

JCVD or no one

[@ash3021]

So this story fits in trust me. I was eight in the year of '04 and was in Fiji for my uncle's wedding. I had my gameboy with Pokemon blue and yellow. so my batteries died and I'm bored outside and I see a wild bulbasaur or a big frog whatever. so I throw a pokeball at it and by pokeball I mean a brick. so there's a lot of blood and it's spasming or something. i wanted it to stop so I took the brick and went Fargo on it and put the corpse behind the wheel of a car to stage an accident I guess. I've held this inside for many years. Now I feel this frogs spirit is finally free and I finally feel absolved. I hope this story helps you.

[@caposwat]

Joe Johnson huh?

[@2sjbrewer]

if youre a true baby youd know

[@caposwat]

Samantha Brewer you right. I’m a failure. I’m disinviting myself from the log cabin.

[@smance_]

I love how he transitions into ads, “I’m one anus grab away from my brain breaking”....................”Thank you MeUndies for sponsoring this podcast”

[@notyourdad]

This is by far my favorite 98th episode of the podcast ever.

[@jonathanglidden951]

notyourdad. there’s only one 98th episode

[@notyourdad]

@@jonathanglidden951 Well, that's kinda the joke ;)

[@jonathanglidden951]

lol I’m crazy dumb

[@clipper6429]

Jonathan Glidden you know sss’little about comedy

[@jonathanglidden951]

PuttyGuts oh ya?

[@maxpbeaumont]

Dude, appreciate you breaking down the TED Radio thing for me. Wasn't able to articulate why it bothered me until... now?

[@MrBassab]

It makes me laugh whenever you read the ads in the beginning, because you can’t diss it, but we all know you wanna lol.

[@thedude8254]

MrBassab bill burr does, he can’t just read and get paid lol he has to talk shit

[@happinessrunns]

That ted talk guy impression is the FUNNIEST shit i've heard in a LONG time

[@jcreash1]

A mix of tucker carlson and fred armisen

[@Noname-lk2ol]

FUCK ALL OF U

[@nutellanebula]

Glad you didn't stop, Chris. You are literally changing my life for the better. Inspiration.

[@EndeavorLSMedia]

Juan Fyre is like Wilson from Home Improvement...I wanna know what he looks like...but I kinda don't.

[@tonymarcella13]

Us Brits are easy to hypnotize cos we're all like Michael Caine and say "ok I'll do it!"

[@Laprintanddesign]

Tony Marcella 😂 😂

[@deni6943]

do you know when everyones like " I just read that in his voice LOL OMG XD" I just did exactly _not_ that

[@Unz360]

I'll deww it

[@MaubenOrigin]

Tony Marcella 😂😂

[@Yungtacosss]

I believe it

[@fullmetalheel]

Anytime you bring up a normal job you default to bank teller lol

[@gina4808]

Vega Valentine so true

[@cdsackett]

That's what we all do

[@awalldance]

Or crate and barrel

[@dwade22100]

THANKS FOR ANOTHER GREAT EPISODE CHRIS “I DON’T HAVE A NICKNAME BECAUSE WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET” D’ELIA!

[@Supabasic13]

Are you still gonna have a kkk Starbucks in your new house?

[@dwade22100]

Brent Berryman amazing reference

[@bennettwogan3176]

Bill Cosbey is the mastermind

[@beastemeauxde7029]

Long answer kinda short answer yes

[@TurkFebruary88]

I don't think he had anything to do with that.

[@bennettwogan3176]

Neither did Henry or Cody

[@MaubenOrigin]

I’m convinced Juan fyre is just an automated tape recorder next to a Spalding ball that Chris talks too

[@nv3831]

IS IT THOOOOOOOOOOO

[@SWhitehouse4675]

This was my favourite Podcast in a long time. Should go internet free for more podcasts !!

[@RivenRivenRivenRiven]

i know its a busy time of year but you still manged to bless us with this content. thank you chris

[@suttonlea8366]

Man I really love Chris Delilah

[@plamoretti673]

Sutton Lea I love Cristalia

[@terranceferguson4487]

"now were they dinosaurs or just versions of us?" made me cry laughing

[@MrDdye29]

Chris stopped watching sports in 1993 so he never knew the Miami Marlins existed

[@smileypie22000]

Anyone else jealous of that neck pop at 15:13? Sounded like a good one.

[@jda1627]

Wow amazing how he went from this episode under so much stress to "My hands are tied now" next episode which is the funniest shit ever

[@RentFreeClips1]

Chris, its been a rough winter, anxiety attacks, depression, but OMFG dude, I laughed so hard at this, your like my fucking therapy, dont stop, the babies are with you, life is so short man and you just make it that much longer.

[@michaelchimenti2847]

Episode 100- Ten Minute Podcast Reunion

[@thelivingvessel]

Michael Chimenti needs to happen. For an hour.

[@donaldwilson3579]

id kill myself of happiness

[@ThePearpear3]

Thank god for these, I love ya Chris!!!

[@guccibutthole4114]

Yo please be on an episode of rick and morty😂😂

[@annedevlin09]

Gucci Butthole soooo much yes

[@mariogrock]

Ok, this episode is my favorite, can't wait till #100

[@Itsdelaraw]

Is daddy losing his mind?

[@annedevlin09]

Rawdaboi 100% yes. And so are we. Hahahaha

[@Tormentality]

@@annedevlin09 Yes. ahahah I'm surprised how long we've all made it.

[@traviswolpert5873]

He has a plan, have some god damn faith.

[@fullmetalheel]

@@traviswolpert5873 NOISE, Arthur!

[@yanavorontsov3761]

ROIGHHT? still love him tho.

[@kiwibrand5585]

You make me laugh so hard, Mr D'Elia. Love your stuff. 😍

[@cesg7749]

“And we can make more money?” 😂😂😂😂😂 love your podcast Chris ✊🏼

[@lordsmokingmirror]

Looking forward to the " All Ads " episode

[@davidambra1573]

I actually tbh quit drinking alcohol with hypnosis. On KZbin there are Subliminal Sleep programming videos called “how to quit drinking alcohol Subliminal sleep programming(rain sounds)that are 8-10hrs long. You put on headphones and fall asleep listening to these videos. I listened to it about a week straight every night. Haven’t had a drink since. I’ve got over a year now.

[@mattsandelin]

David Ambra this isn’t exactly the same as hypnotizing a conscious person to do something that they aren’t aware of/won’t remember doing. Although, that’s amazing dude. Congrats to you

[@davidambra1573]

Matt Sandelin no I completely understand what he’s talking about now. After this episode I went to my couch sat down and watched the episode of the push. Where they were on the roof. I was misunderstood. Thanks yea it’s definitely something I had absolutely no idea I could get away from I tried everything. And for some reason that worked.

[@drunkwizard]

that's awesome man did you feel any effects prior to the week ending? just one week of listening and you knew you were good? I'm asking cause i think there's power in hypnosis

[@davidambra1573]

Roddy I really didn’t notice the effects. It was almost like it completely re-mapped my brain. Now what I did notice is as time went on it almost started going away. So about 6 months in a did a couple more nights of it. In the beginning as the days went on I could hear my mental monologue telling myself I don’t need to drink I won’t drink. Which was pretty cool. Cause I’d expect myself after work to go get a drink on the drive home. But it was almost like my brain overpowered it and I just kept driving past where I normally would get my drinks from.

[@drunkwizard]

@@davidambra1573 that sounds really interesting man.. so let me get this straight you listened to this alcohol sobriety hypnosis from KZbin on repeat all night? how long was the videos/audio? I'm just asking because I've had an addiction to cannabis for years now and everytime i try to stop my brain gives into the feeling of boredom and hopelessness that settles in. perhaps this is the universe throwing me a bone..

[@whitneypayne2663]

23:20 is just the voice of Peter from Portlandia

[@crusheen]

Was that supposed to be the beginning of Where is My Mind by the Pixies?

[@loganmarcus6516]

All caught up! Just in time for Jean Claud's episode

[@crazypath573]

Funny how Chris doesn't know that Craigslist automatically puts "Don't contact me with unsolicited goods or services" on every ad someone posts, regardless of what it is. The posters are not actually writing that themselves.

[@TheJschafer89]

Pretty sure he realizes it, he's just over emphasizing the irony...

[@mattsandelin]

It’s actually an option that you can either check or uncheck. It’s pretty funny considering what these people are posting, that they leave it checked

[@crusheen]

Yeah...I think it's just about the irony of it. Like this weird ass thing they want or are saying...and they think at the end of writing it...Nah, don't contact me about anything else besides exactly this.

[@DartagnanMagic]

What's funny is you think he doesn't know.

[@tgstanley4321]

sounds like chris' girl is pregnant

[@yeezywesty3651]

He's not the kind of dude that would bring children into the world.

[@jessparra]

My thoughts exactly. Daddy is finally becoming a real daddy 🔥🔥🥇🥇

[@novusvoss]

@@yeezywesty3651 guess you're wrong af

[@TheTrueValkyrie66]

@@yeezywesty3651 s'thinks he's deep but s'not

[@Rick_Sanchez_Jr.]

"What happened?" "Did I eat a glazed doughnut?" No.... hahahahahaha xD

[@DstrtdMnd]

I'm watching all the shows in reverse order.

[@sunnygee468]

Omg so am I but everytime there is a new one, I click on that. 🤣

[@Orphan-mh6db]

Best EP . Of pod Casting ever !!! This had me wanting to end life it self cuz I felt like I seen it all homie LMAO .

[@MikeJovani]

Zhir-bot bit was hilarious.

[@kamomatic]

I am threatened by change

[@mariabascogarcia1195]

Nailed the TED radio hour flavor. Also sounds like an Armisen character. 🙌

[@eviecroft8371]

Love this man. For so many reasons

[@Max1dollar]

The TED bit is hilarious😂 Cant stop laughing, so spot on

[@thisjourneycalledlife5957]

He does a robot impression so good lmao

[@kwiat-uy3fs]

Ted radio hour impression is actually Fred Armisen impression

[@becky7924]

One of the funniest shits of Chris' podcasts is the transition between the jokes and the ads. From crazy as shit to formal af.

[@jesusfreak1700]

Congratulations Chris

[@acemanhomer1]

"...that's natural." lol

[@rebekahlikesmusic2723]

I am dying 😂

[@ClaudeMasseyConsulting]

this was one of the great ones!

[@sarahfarnell7033]

42:00 is the hardest transition into a commercial i've ever seen

[@wolvezbane261]

This is the first podcast of his that im watching

[@HupertBupkin]

Lemme ask you a question. So, what’s five plus five? Ten. Okay - so - then - lemme ask you a question uhh, do we all die?

[@imlauranus]

My therapist tried to hypnotise me and she couldn't because I was picturing the absurdity of the situation. I mean, me being there, eyes closed and standing still, with her, right in front of me, watching me and speaking in a sooth voice made me lose my shit everytime. I couldn't stay serious, it made her laugh too, so eventually we stopped.

[@fhamidullah]

30:36 Any thoughts on what was on the paper Juan/Ivan passed him?

[@kyleplum977]

Damn dudes. Chris is actually s’merican. The last half of this episode is the realest.

[@Furrrburger]

Is the Starbucks closing or moving with you to the new house?

[@BroImSoHGood]

Sick reference bro.

[@kiddorange1450]

17:47 drip whoops *That's Natural*

[@allfalledout8686]

I bet you are going to interview your father on the 100th episode, am happily waiting for that to happen, big fan dude, great episode, kudos and good day Sir.

[@caelinludka3688]

You know what I really hope the person I marry one day is a baby and loves chris as much as me lol imagine if our story was "oh we met on the comments on one of Chris D'Elias videos"😂😂😂

[@nathanm.8823]

Hi

[@awalldance]

@@nathanm.8823 too obvious you gotta find her on episode 100 and make magic baby

[@nathanm.8823]

@@awalldance Awwww damnit! I just asked my wife if I can marry another girl and she said no. Caelin is all yours bro, treat her good and give her wood. I'm out!

[@livefreeprintguns]

I DO! #firsties

[@caelinludka3688]

Lmao you guys are too funny

[@electrAnnika]

Internet or no internet. The babies are ride or die 😎

[@johnnyashtray]

FUUUUUCCCCKKKKINNNGGG SSSHHHIIITTT YYYEEESSS MMMOOOTTHHHEEERRFFUUCCKKIIINN BABIES!

[@marcusmorris1670]

That Derren Brown episode is terrifying... thanks for the suggestion... O_O

[@David174]

I like when my family walks in, sees you and laughs then comes back later like wtf he’s still on that bit?

[@yougotthatfunk3582]

Voted for the cult leader as TFTK guest of the year. Theo should be worried.

[@ErnestoRenteria7]

Got love for D’Elia but Rat king all day

[@bradleykyle6493]

🐀👑

[@vivifernandes4791]

When Chris talks about the Ted radio dude i couldn't stop laughing lmao😂😂😂😂😊

[@feebaby88]

Omg the fucking impression of the NPR guy 🤣 I’m sure he makes that face too lmao

[@TheR0manianB0y]

IS IT THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@yeezywesty3651]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[@sketburd9360]

Anyone else pick up the vibe that Chris is under a lot of pressure?

[@natalieatamian]

I've gotten hypnotized in a group once and at the beginning, I actually was in a trance but then it faded away so i was like um why am I playing a imaginary tambourine and i just got up and walked away.

[@choongification]

any talk of juan fire fills me with joy

[@Phrate]

New house with the new girl?

[@sibe6096]

Log cabin with a robot pussycock

[@michaelwoods9052]

Baby here, been "hypnotized" at the local fair. It's all up the the individual to participate or not. I was with a girl and thought I'd be funny to sing n'syncs bye bye bye song and the lead but I remember it and know what I was doing I just wanted to make my girl laugh. True commitment in the getting laid process as a young cuda.

[@danielabramson4177]

Miss this dude

[@daverunstrain]

Somebody smashed into my car and then I lost my I.D. and now I don't care about any of that

[@oliviavanjackson]

Does Juan Fyre laugh when you go on these tangents or does he just sit there dead pan? Cause that’s what I keep imagining no matter how funny they are.

[@fifajesus7784]

Chris your point about the comedian that made a joke and got silenced, made so much sense you need to preach that shit

[@TheManOfSteel4444]

I always think that Chris reminds me of a real life Rick from Rick and Morty so that Christopher lloyd comment is hilarious 🤙🤣

[@musiczandlife]

Am I the only found his impression of the Ted guy sounds very similar to that Fred Armisen?

[@kaliglyph]

Its always One Polka-Dot Dress Away when you think about

[@DaDavid15]

Thank you. I feel like ive waited years for someone to roast that ted hour host lmfao

[@cesarflores2998]

FRESNO!!! CANT WAIT TO SEE U TOFER!! 🙏🤘

[@rickbossv5]

Can you give us an update on your view on the zinquashi 75 situation?

[@amazingflavour]

“I get.. percentages” that was so Brody Stevens

[@Frep77]

I guess that one traumatic thing to make Chris crazy just happened

[@albertomontoto7703]

🤓maybe... maybe is not about enjoying this podcast...🤔 maybe is about finding "Sillas de ruedas"🤓

[@splatzmania]

CAN WE PLEASE SEE BEHIND THE CAMERA AND THE REST OF YOUR SET FOR EPISODE 100

[@TeacupChinese]

Episode 100 Juan fire reveal ?

[@SuperMattyjay]

That robot award show host bit is fucking genius.

[@ashleymitchell8313]

I love that nerdy guy voice so much lol!!

[@devinb9985]

Chris the type of dude to hit em up and not make a dent.

[@WillyOrca]

Hey chris

[@cdsackett]

Holy shit that Michael Barbaro podcast impression. Fucking nailed it.

[@beastemeauxde7029]

Clicked within 25min. Didn't make a *DENT!*

[@syedibrahim2876]

Attitude is everything. Qualities advice before the foul chat

[@mr.sandman4782]

13 minutes in and I'm fucking dying laughing. love the podcast

[@whatthe5954]

So, I worked for a hypnotist/magician named Darshwood the Conjurer. He would have 1 or 2 audience plants that he would ONLY use if he couldn't get other people to "work." I went in VERY skeptical and came out pretty fucking stunned. As for real world hypnotising, you should look into MK Ultra and other such programs from around the world. Trauma (especially in children) has been proven to create multiple personalities that can have no idea the others exist.