False Memory theme of OCD

[@niallobeirne8508]

The confession compulsion is the worst... it feels like your hiding a secret... that you can't prove... and never could be because its ocd and not logic 😐 that is so dabitlating 😖

[@dundum3081]

Yes! And it makes me feel like a liar but then at the same time i know im not lying????

[@sethty]

literally i’ve been going through it for 16 months nearly, i’m 16, i found about ocd just over 2 weeks ago, idk what to do i’m so lost

[@death88.]

​@@sethtyare you somehow better nowadays?

[@sethty]

@@death88. at the moment its not as drastic, still takes over though and always weighs my mind

[@death88.]

@@sethty oh, i'm sorry... i'm in the same situation :/

[@kylehill9121]

I'm so scared that my false memories are real and that I'm just hoping they're false memories because I want them to be. They're more hazy than a normal memory and it's about things that would've happened years ago and I think why would I forget about these memories but feel so bad now? Also when I look back at the timeline of my life they don't really fit or make sense. But then I try and make up new false memories to check if my false memories are false memories but these just feel like made up scenarios in my head so I think that my false memories are real, and if they are real I'm such a bad person. I just want to not worry or feel guilty anymore. It's so awful. Is this normal?

[@zaneklics5362]

Hi. I'm experiencing the same thing. Are you feeling any better? Do you have any tips?

[@kylehill9121]

@@zaneklics5362 Hey. Sorry to hear that. It's the most horrible feeling. I haven't figured out how to move on yet but just hang on in there and things start to feel slightly better. I'm at the stage where I still don't know whether the memories are real or not but I just have to try and believe that it's OCD. It's a slight comfort when you know others are going through the same thing so it's probably OCD.

[@sajaabusaif9397]

@@kylehill9121 I feel you cuz i am suffering from that too. How are you now?

[@kylehill9121]

@@sajaabusaif9397 Still there but the longer you go on, the easier it gets to cope. I'm going to speak to the doctor soon. Although it's awful to think there are others going through this as well, it is comforting to know you're not alone.

[@sajaabusaif9397]

@@kylehill9121 It is warm to be hand in hand against ocd, but the worst thing is when that awful question comes like " what if i am really bad person and i talk with these kind people as a good person?" I am sweating with lost...

[@chrissanchez9510]

It’s so hard to live with POCD False Memories and it’s even harder to live Uncertain about these memories and it’s so hard to have unconditional Love & Self Acceptance.😩

[@Veritas.Laburemus]

Quisieras charlarlo? Tengo el mismo problema :(

[@kieranphillips7272]

You almost made me cry when you said how bad you think you are by having these false memories. When your having volient intrusive thoughts after a violent crime you've committed wouldn't you want to seek justice

[@Mikmaqdrag]

It’s amazing how you can laugh and smile at the silliest things. You make my day.

[@MultiMagnumforce]

OCD false messages of thoughts, images and urges. The Doubting disorder 😕

[@zovi3363]

Its not that easy tho if you think you've commited a horrendous crime how can you just be like oh well might have happened

[@Eezkiel]

So true 🤢

[@carter7937]

I’ve recently suffered a relapse in the last few days and sought out your channel because you’d helped me before; thank you for being so vulnerable and honest! I didn’t even realizing the confession compulsion was as real as it is until you pointed it out. It’s hard to accept uncertainty but you’re right, even if we’re told that our memory is wrong 10000x we’ll still wonder and it’ll never be enough!

[@keithandstefaniedell5319]

You totally described my OCD to a "T" regarding the drinking and then worrying later about "what if I did something horrendous/inappropriate/illegal" etc.

[@nayten0324]

This might sound cheesy but thank you so much. I found your channel a few months ago when I felt very bad and I instantly felt more comfortable and at peace again. Every time since, if my thoughts have been terrible and I feel terrible. I come and watch your vids. I haven't been diagnosed but many symptoms match and many of what you say in your vids happen to me. Hopefully one day i'll gather the courage to see a therapist but at this point if its not intrusive thoughts I'm a monster

[@TheSimbaUK]

Thank you for this video. I have had OCD to varying degrees my whole life. In the last year I have been suffering from false memory OCD. The way it works for me is I can have a 'what if?' thought and this generates a mental image that the more I think about the more it turns into a 'memory'. For example the first time I had I had a 'what if I'd harmed someone thought', the more I thought about it the more I created a false memory in my mind. This then created a period of intense anxiety over the episode because I genuinely believed I had harmed someone when I hadn't. I then made the fatal error of engaging with the OCD by filming myself everywhere I went, this made the 'what if OCD' ten times worse and created a cycle where I became dependent on having to film myself and it made me feel insecure about being in the house where I didn't. This past year has been living hell and I am trying to get myself off the filming but it's really hard as my OCD wants to trigger me the second I stop filming.

[@nataliiad8252]

Hey! How do you feel after a year? I have a very similar situation where I always doubted my memories and sought reassurance that I didn't do anything wrong....several weeks ago I started to record audios on my phone wherever I go so I can listen to them later and make sure I didn't snap and didn't do anything to anyone.....one situation where I didn't record is torturing me because I think what if something happened because I didn't record and cannot prove anything...I cannot also find that person who was there and who can tell me the details of the situation....do you have any piece of advice in case you were able to get better?

[@JohnSmith-td3vl]

​@@nataliiad8252 I thought I was the only one who suffered from this. Years ago, I started monitoring myself, and now, when my recorder is not running, the ocd gets ridiculous.

[@paeka362]

I am going through the exact same thing right now. I have to film myself 24 hours a day because otherwise the ocd goes crazy. Have you gotten any better?

[@paeka362]

@@JohnSmith-td3vl same exact thing. I want to stop recording but I don’t know how I will be able to

[@JohnSmith-td3vl]

@@paeka362 Hey, Paeka. I'm currently battling it. I'm doing less and less filming, although I've opted to record myself with an audio recorder and keep tabs on myself for now. A big thing I've noticed is that when I boost my testosterone, I get less obsessive. Pushups, man. Do those. Eat more fatty foods. Eggs. This is neurochemical. People with healthy hormones don't seem to have as many issues, from what I can see. Boost that testosterone, man. It will help you so much. It's helping me. Also, Buddhist philosophy is really excellent. look into it. I'm here to help, man.

[@Joejoe-fd4ic]

Thank you Chrissie I thought I was the only person in the world with this you are very brave thank you.

[@M1KU139]

What type do u have

[@Joejoe-fd4ic]

What ripe are you

[@Joejoe-fd4ic]

Sorry type

[@IAmMotivation123]

2:15 very true at first I was looking up articles on ocd to learn about it cause i knew I had ocd then I found my self looking at articles for hours on day cause it told me that it’s all just ocd and nothing more

[@Iden_Elihio_1999]

You are are better than my current therapist ........

[@avauh3819]

Contact her and find she will find a better one for you!

[@avauh3819]

Her website is wwwchrissiehodges.com and she will find a better one for you

[@Iden_Elihio_1999]

@@avauh3819 Does she know anyone in New York who takes Healthfirst?

[@ambergriffith3317]

I am having a terrible time with my ocd... I really need help... I’m to the point where I am believing my thoughts. Is there anyone out there who can help me

[@mohamedal-alawi2738]

I advise you to see a therapist and talk about your condition.

[@Eezkiel]

Same position

[@Ma-tu2jd]

ERP

[@DogMommy.]

Same

[@Samia-2003]

I was diagnosed with OCD at 14 and I can definitely relate on having false memories of what if I was molested and didn’t know it, it’s terrifying I’m still trying to get help for it

[@josieevangelista3345]

i understand !

[@user-yh9yl4ss2t]

I have these false memories too. CHRISSIE can you talk on these?

[@Dusky-Bunn1e]

NO BC I HAD THAT!!! “What if i was molested and i didn’t know?” Yet i do know i was SA’d but not as a child, but as a 14 yr old

[@jamiestevens9615]

Your videos are literally keeping me alive right now. I’ve suffered all my life with all of this. I’ve had PTSD related events happen to me which manifested as OCD as a child. I suffer from all types of OCD and I really want to figure this out once and for all. My first child is on the way and I just want to enjoy every moment without worrying. Thank you so much for these videos. They don’t put my mind at ease, but they do make me feel part of a community of people who are suffering

[@ivyh7784]

Check out Robert Bray on Instagram his @ is ocdrecoveryuk I believe. I got coaching/therapy from him and he really helped me. I hope your ocd lessens💞

[@souravmukherjee2497]

On the eve of 2019 year-end, I would like to Thank Chrissie from the bottom of my heart, for showing at least a ray of hope to me this year. Thank you Chrissie, thanks a lot! You are doing a great job, we really do need someone like you to speak for us, to heal us Thank you!

[@kirksART]

Chrissie your videos are great! your insight on OCD is insightful, intelligent and educational. I am a fan of steven Philipson. "if OCD ever had a fearful spike it would be that man" lol. I recently had a long stressful period moving home and I knew OCD would kick My ass ...and it did! for a full month. I have given up with medication and at the moment I am embracing educating myself with the best Ocd videos on KZbin, and two of yours have helped me greatly tonight. keep up the good work.

[@kieranphillips7272]

Could you do more videos on this type of thing. I like the way you reach out to people

[@matthewparisien3504]

Hi Chrissie thank you so much for your videos! If you could one day make a segment on philosophical/existential OCD that would be fantastic

[@demon_hawkeye5269]

I had a thought I tried to prove it untrue I then just ended up fearing that me acting something similair to demonstrate that it didnt happen actualy meant I was trying to do something I am going into a spiral

[@kylietompkins8456]

Chrissie, thanks so much for your videos. I stumbled upon them in January looking for reassurance for hocd. The only reason I knew it was ocd already was because I struggled with rocd before that. Thankfully, I've only been suffering hard core since November of last year, and I have made an appointment with an ocd specialist. I'm reading your book now, and I've almost read the whole thing in one day. thanks for your inspiration.

[@rebeccakeltie5181]

How do you battle false accusations from false memories from someone with this type of OCD? Someone I know claims things but they never happened so I don’t know how to prove something that didn’t happen. So hard and so sad. He not only Denies his medically diagnosed OCD but denies the whole false memory concept.

[@anabelfontanella7000]

You are amazing Chrissie, thank you so much for your videos!!

[@YerDa67]

Thanks, Chrissie. I’m struggling with drinking and false memories. I seem to conjure up these awful things I could have done to someone. These really help.

[@alexcaballero3931]

i have the same problem my guy

[@will523]

@Steven G I feel your pain. I can drink a little or a lot and the drinking eases the anxiety and helps me have a little bit of an escape. But the issue I am finding is that the OCD picks up on these fuzzy memory moments or uses the experience to put in crazy terrible doubts of what you could have done even when I have no evidence and I was definitely not blackout drunk. Alcohol in my opinion for me in any quantity gives OCD leverage to sneak in doubts especially if I drink alone. Ive gone alcohol free in the last year and those 4 months still had OCD but it didnt include new doubts from drinking. Just remember you are not alone in this struggle.

[@jdubbydubs1174]

Yes. I needed this. Thank you Chrissie. You’re like the best

[@WazigeLogica]

Wow just the first few minutes are almost making me cry right now for all kinds of reasons.. Because it's reassuring mainly, my anxiety is through the roof the passed days.. Thank you so much. Thanks so much for the disclaimer.

[@Tylenplayzxx]

The moment we do the what if, thats the ocd anxiety right? I no i didnt do something but my brain is telling me i did. When it was 5 years ago i no i didnt do it..do i shrug it off like a normal ocd thought?

[@guidosanchez5695]

Yeah, this is one of the reasons that I quit drinking.

[@zovi3363]

I have this very badly and I have spoke to three therapists that have unfortunately made this worse. I'm also now in group therapy and the only person who has OCD and was advised not to talk about it!

[@starrynight669]

The thing is I know they're false and never happened but my brain keeps saying "Are you sure? I'm going to make you think of an intrusive thought and make you think it happened!"

[@DogMommy.]

Yes smh .

[@ela5058]

My current therapist is not especially for people with OCD she knows more about victims of abuse and child trauma. She seems to be very good but I need a OCD therapist because it is what I really show the most signs of, so yeah I wish I had a therapist like you but I will talk to my mom to see if I can change to one who I feel will understand me more.

[@DIVISIN-iu9ob]

One summer I really noticed my ocd was when I said something in a way that I didn’t mean to say it . As simple as that I was freaking out . It wasn’t until the middle of that summer when I stopped caring and It fell asleep . A couple years later something popped into my head and all these other things followed it . This time I tried things , and it made it worse . I ignored it and I carried on with my year until the beginning of the new year it woke up harder than ever and I’m still going through it at the moment because of compulsion, after compulsion, after compulsion. Dreams came , false memories came . 2 whole summers later I said fuck it . At the moment in order to reboot my libido I have chosen no fap , girls for the past week have been a little bit more attractive than say 3 months ago . I take a deep breathe whenever I get intrusive thoughts . I wake up from dreams and say ok whatever. At times it feels real , the false memories say so . But , you know what , why do I care about this now ? Huh? I remember a time when this ocd was asleep and I was certain 100% about that aspect of my life . I have decided to cut out the triggers of my life and deal with them through calmness . These triggers are the form of former friends , choices , accidents , yes it’s true even friends . I want to get through with this , and I want to move on with my life . I’ve done some pretty weird things , in my opinion to reassure my self . Now I’m just gonna live through life .

[@Kelless629]

Oh wow I just found your channel, I am in Colorado as well. I really need help with this. I would love to connect with you!

[@nataliaortega7524]

I really wish my family can speak english so I can show them your videos, they are amazing and I wish I could show it to them so they can understand a little bit how I might feel, cause I don't know how to reach them properly about this topic...

[@gunderstank2000]

I recently came across your channel while trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Everything you talk about, I'm experiencing currently. It has its highs and lows. I am not formally diagnosed with OCD but I've been experiencing these obsessions and compulsions since I was as child. It's been really bad for the past four months. I almost break into a cold sweat and start to panic when I have intrusive thoughts. It's causing me great distress. I don't know what to do, I don't have great insurance and I don't have the resources to get help.

[@karlacalderon5353]

I’m glad I came across this vide . I’m 28 weeks pregnant and I’m having a lot of intrusive thoughts

[@brockwillis1979]

Chrissie, this video really lifted my spirits! I would like to find out how to possibly schedule sessions with you

[@LordCylarne]

Holy crap this happens to me too.

[@DogMommy.]

I'm so sad Because I been telling my boyfriend everything that has been going on that I have this OCD and he told me he thinks I'm going crazy that I need help 😭😭😭 I just feel so alone

[@DogMommy.]

It has gotten way worse now smh

[@Spicypapi333]

Ahhh i have the last theme you mentioned and it's the first time I hear someone talk about it it's horrible but erp and meds helps alot !!!

[@lukegraham852]

This is a brilliant video. Thank you 👍

[@jokerski3250]

So true that my brain will say oh well I didn’t experience that symptom or they didn’t name my theme so i must not have ocd or this theme is real and not ocd! Lol! That’s awesome.

[@louisemiles2671]

Chrisie how on earth do I figure out telling a new partner about my ocd? Some of the thoughts are terrible and I've even felt urges, and unwanted thoughts, images and sensations and I don't understand how he won't run a mile. Is it bad if I don't tell him if I'm okay with it now and I no longer am exprricning them? I know it's just thoughts and ocd but what if they don't understand it.. And they think I'm a bad person? I have had so many themes over the years.. Once upon a time it was hocd for example I'd focus so much on how I felt that I would feel something when I looked at females and then freaked out I was a lesbian... But I know I only felt something because I was aware and focused on that area. How do I expali ntjis to someone else tho. I feel if I have a new boyfriend I have to tell him

[@ll5104]

Louise Miles you just have to trust it . I opened up to my girlfriend last week . I’m on meds now and start therapy next month . I’ve had like 8 themes of ocd . It’s just torture as you probably know . Just let it out .

[@puppetken]

Depends how long you have been with him? And is he mature and opened mind enough to understand? Also if it is a toxic relationship he could use it against you so think about it for a bit you have time to decided to let him know.

[@-t9214]

TERFs don't deserve basic rights, and that’s a really good idea

[@marvindeggenburg2692]

i have hocd. My head tells me I would have thought of being gay earlier, but I am sure that I don't have that because I know myself and would have been crazy even then haha. Is it normal that your head tries to convince you wrong?

[@sweet_nerds73]

Yes very normal I have rocd and hocd I usually feel like I’m lying to myself but I am not. Don’t worry we will get through this. Just keep fighting this. Don’t ignore the thoughts but just let them sit there. Cause the more you ignore them They will come and attack more. I know I hate that way so much but it’s somewhat working for me. Hope you are doing well now or have made some progress through this.

[@selinderin_karaoke]

Can’t thank you enough for making this video Chrissie and making me feel less alone

[@sophiadavis4060]

If anyone could help me, I would appreciate so much. So I have a weird question. The memory I’m struggling with is very much illogical but there was no one around that I can ask because I was alone at my house. And the memory itself is hazy but I remember the intrusive thought I had. Now that intrusive thought has become the memory and I don’t really remember anything else except the thought of regret and being so certain that I had done something I couldn’t take back. Is it a compulsion to truly believe that you did something terrible? No matter how illogical and irrational? And no evidence to prove it? Like part of my brain says that it’s so irrational but the other part totally believes it. I was okay the first couple of days after but then I became sick to my stomach as the days went one each week (it’s been two weeks) thinking I did this horrible thing. Even now my brain tells me I’m just writing this out to get reassurance but I’m honestly so tired. Every time, I see people saying that you would remember something if you had done it and I really don’t remember but I can’t shake the feeling I had afterwards that I had done something terrible. I have had this intrusive thought before and false memory but this felt so real. I’m so scared that I’m just pushing away that saying I didn’t do this because I can’t accept the truth. I’m so sorry if this stressed anybody out but I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[@gunderstank2000]

I am struggling with the same feelings, it's truly scary and makes me feel like a horrible person.

[@elderbrain4948]

I am shocked I survived my 20's at all due to bad choices.

[@ludovikmortier5390]

Big up to Chrissie!

[@pranjalpokharel5270]

Thank you chrissie for this u are a brilliant person

[@JoannMiller.]

I have a false memories of calling some one a bad name and them hurting me afterwards.

[@alexcaballero3931]

im to the point where i can manage it very well through erp.. but im such a joyful person and i like to have good vibes and every once in a while i will have to many drinks and if i have blurred memory in the morning i fall back so hard.. i get it dont drink! but the not knowing if i hurt my daughter in some awful way kills me.. i have experienced every pure o out there.. but at the moment pocd is the one im currently battling.. its a monster. any feedback would be greatly appreciated.thanks

[@billho7792]

I think I need some specialist to help me figure this type of worrying and OCD (at least I think it is a type of OCD) thanks yall I am not even sure if this happened or not, but I just want to reach out to you guys. I am not even sure if this happened, but years ago, not sure even when, I was at a house party. I was probably a very little boy who liked to mess with things that you should not have messed with. I remember going outside on the house's backyard, and I picked up a rock. Just about some feet away was a giant wall that separated the backyard from what I believed was the freeway ( I can confirm this to be true because I visit my grandma’s house almost every week, who lives very close to this house). I'm not even sure if I threw the multiple rocks over the wall, but I am 50-90% sure the rocks went over the wall. Thinking back to the event, I just cannot keep thinking about what happened after I threw the rocks. I keep thinking I caused like a car crash and even death because if the rocks went over the wall, somebody could have been injured or even killed because it was the freeway the rocks could have landed on. Again, I am not sure if these things even happened, but I have remembered this event, and it is causing quite a heartache thinking about it. Bruh it is so annoying because I’m tryna make it into the NBA, and sometimes this brings me down big time! 1 Day after watching this video: Bruh, so basically today I was feeling good since I know I’m not the only one who suffers from this type of OCD, and was basically feeling better than the day before after watching this awesome video. Then my sister was playing this roblox game called “Murder Mystery” on roblox, and she turns to me and asks, “Bill, can you spell ‘murder’?” (Quick Note: I’m not sure if she was playing “Murder Mystery” for sure, but she was playing roblox I recall, so I assumed it was...).As a result, I started to feel really bad again, and in my head, I started to feel if I really did kill someone as a result of the “event” I described above. Was it just a coincidence that she asked me to spell the word “murder”, or is it really a sign that I really did hurt someone when I threw those rocks over the wall when I was a child (which I’m not even sure happened)...... By the way, the other reason why my sister asking me to spell “murder” made me feel really bad was because afterwards, I kept recalling that the day before, if I was like “If anyone the next day mentions the word “kill” to me, then I did kill someone in the supposed rock throwing incident (basically this would indicate a sign that I did kill someone when I threw those rocks over the wall). Of course, I’m not sure if this is even true ( of me going “if anyone the next day mentions the word “kill” to me, then I killed someone when I threw those rocks). Thank you guys again. Also, I have been dealing with OCD for what I believe to be for almost 4 years. 1st year: Worried about dying at age “53” because in my head I assumed I failed a task while sleeping (I think it was touching the pillow for at least 10 minutes or else I die at “53”)... 2nd to 3rd year: Worried that my mom is going to die and everyone else including me will live because I did not reach a specific amount of followers on instagram by a specific date. (This was also the time where the “rock throwing” incidence came to mind, but I quickly did not worry about it for too long) ( However, during quarantine, after I have successfully overcame my original OCD’s (Lots of them, which originated because of the instagram thingy), it came back and ever since I have been worrying about it)

[@jaketurnbull7501]

Does a false memory have to evolve around yourself? I have what I think is a false memory about something with my mother? Can this happen

[@chillintrapp9770]

Yes it can

[@omarcapaso7156]

Man this sucks, I usually have a thought and have a voice in my head where it agrees with that thought and I’m just like “what??” And usually think of a person I like or maybe the little things that bother me about them and just start to feel hot all over my body as anticipation of what my thoughts are about to say. is it ocd? Where you think of something and feel what your thought is about to say but don’t actually say it in your head or pop in but still causes distress?

[@ginacostigan]

I think so and can relate to this, you're not alone :)

[@sammullett17]

Not getting confirmation of these thoughts real gives me such bad aniexty....

[@nikierey8675]

Me too, you’re not alone. Hang in there!

[@death88.]

how are you doing?

[@dundum3081]

This is amazing

[@sonal_T_Explorer]

One night in my childhood my father unconsiously started rubbing my leg as he thought dt it was my mother's leg and nw I am suffering from the guilt dt y I didn't take back my leg immediately?

[@y111marz]

u were a child. U didn’t know better it’s okay

[@vincentcox3887]

Hi. I live in lubbock tx., am currently unemployed and i experience what I believe to be false memory ocd. Not sure if you would know of any options for help near me, but I thought id ask.

[@debbiealad3631]

I was wondering, do hocd thoughts become not as distressing as they were when your ocd kicked in? So does it get to a point when your brain gets use to thoughts?

[@lazBillis]

Yes this is true and sometimes do they seem to be enjoyable even though you don’t want them too ?

[@zero_meercat8624]

Laz 27 yes

[@user-yh9yl4ss2t]

Please help Chrissie. Could this form of OCD make me think that something bad happened to me in childhood and constantly obsessing about the thought that triggered it

[@Cutelife2.0-i9y]

Can you tell me what thoughts in your mind

[@doiewrld]

Is it possible to get false memories from stuff that happened not too long ago?

[@dancesoul33]

Omg an nctzen suffering from the same things as me? Yes you can, it couldve been a real memory but because you cant remember it well, ocd fills the blanks and makes you doubt what trully happened, especially if it was in childhood

[@stevesanders6855]

Great!!!

[@ginacostigan]

Thank you so much for making this video, you are truly brilliant