Are you REALLY Dating Out or Just Talking About it? + How to get out of your Dating Comfort Zone

[@ChrissiesWay]

FYI: I didn’t show the TikTokers face or play her clip in the vid because she and her family have been getting harassed and doxxed by black men after she announced that she’s expanding her options. It’s gotten so bad that she had to contact the police. At this point, it’s potentially dangerous for black women to say online that they’re dating out because the men are so unhinged. Meanwhile they can consistently announce their non black preferences and don’t have to worry about their safety or lives being threatened. This is all the more reason to heed the warning in this video, and please listen all the way to the end. Be safe ladies, make sure you and your partner carry self defense items on you at all times because this will only get worse as more black women date and marry out. It’s some weirdos out there and they could even attack black women unprovoked who are out in public with their non black partners. Do NOT underestimate these dudes and make sure you and your significant other stay on guard while out in public. I know it’s scary and unfair but unfortunately, it’s our reality. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments.

[@racheluk87]

Wow

[@powe13]

People who doxx are disgusting

[@Ms9mmBeretta]

I'm currently on Tik Tok looking for her name or at least someone who has made a video regarding this topic so I can stitch it, I want to speak out about it. I know you said be careful, but I'm not afraid. I stand with her, or shall I say I stand up for her.

[@Unique2U05]

I was attacked at the train station one time because a three trash bag carrying dusty SUSPECTED that I dated yt men because I didn't give him any attention."You thank you tu guud to date me?? Probably with a whyaate mane".

[@Zoraya4833]

@@Ms9mmBeretta did you find it?

[@tmarie69]

I am. Me and my guy (he’s white) have been together for 9 months and I overheard him talking to his dad about getting me an engagement ring and his dad gave him the name of a jeweler. But the point being, I held him to the same standard I held ALL MEN. Keep those standards ladies. And yes, don’t announce this. It’s really not anyone’s business who you date anyway.

[@ongoingsky9347]

Congrats in advance 🍾🍾🍾🎉

[@xpnn]

Congratulations girlie 🎉

[@sashabell2390]

Congrats🎉 even though you probably weren’t supposed to hear😂

[@tmarie69]

@@sashabell2390 I’ve been trying hard to just be regular 😂😂. I’m just glad I found a really good guy. I wish I would’ve been more open to the idea sooner. I could’ve BEEN had a husband and kids. But I encourage all BW to try it. Y’all would be shocked at how legitimately interested men of other races are.

[@finewomanhood]

🎉🎉🎉

[@WesleyLindsey]

Dating is DATA. How you expect to find what you really like if you keep dating the same thing? Life is short. Other people and their lifestyles can be fun. Get outside of that comfort zone y’all! Variety makes life richer.

[@Alyssaj1236]

"Dating is DATA". Omg that is so true 🤯🤯💯💯

[@WesleyLindsey]

@@Alyssaj1236 got it from one of my favorite KZbinrs. Can’t even act like it’s an original lol

[@xo1762]

@@WesleyLindsey lol. She's smart 😉

[@broco6608]

Exactly. Dating IS for data. FACTS!!!! Make it more about obtaining information than for sex and romance. Make it about vetting (data) and fun.

[@Wesfits]

@@xo1762 100% agree 😉

[@RampagingChipmunk]

White guy here. I’m not with a black woman so this isn’t coming from my current life experience, but regardless, I say just be cool and roll with it and remember that you’re unique and therefore interesting (And dare I say exotic) to men of other races who are interested in you. Also the hair thing probably won’t be a big deal; dudes probably won’t care at all. White women have grooming routines and stuff that white men don’t care about too. 😁 Believe it or not, but most men aren’t fixated on hair like the manosphere is. 😄

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Are you dating bw or planning to? I'm curious about the substantial amount of yt men watching these channels.

[@RampagingChipmunk]

@@LisaSoulLevelHealing I’m a twenty-first century man; there are no race-based limitations on who I will date. I’m admittedly not trying super hard to date anybody right now; four years of a second shift job before getting promoted to standard hours in early 2021 plus the virus and its effects over 2020 and 2021 means I am very much not in the game as far as the dating scene. Gonna need to start getting out of my own comfort zone too in order to meet people. In any case, black women are definitely an option.

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

@@LisaSoulLevelHealing I been married to a Black woman for 23 yrs so far and have watched a few of these channels.

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Thank you for your input.

[@firandcurly84]

Exactly facts .

[@aiakumu3579]

Been with my white husband for 5/6 years, married for 3 or so years, we own a house and have a biracial child. Our life is so stable that I have been a stay at home wife since we've married. I've been clear about what I was looking for from the very start, I never wavered about it and I hope black women date out more, finding love and security is all I want for us

[@jubilantsleep]

That's awesome! I'm in the same boat as you except we are still working on having a child. It's so comfortable being with someone who provides for you and loves you.

[@kamigriff]

@@jubilantsleep same, working on the child part.

[@quincyferdanand3125]

Black men aren’t mad they ain’t losing no sleep over you

[@sprinkleoflight]

Awww OMG same here I love interracial 💕 been in one for 12 years now married for 5 years with a beautiful family love ❤️

[@londonkhareem6515]

Congratulations sis. God bless you and your family 😘😘😘

[@shanelp7489]

I just went on a date with a Mexican man not too long ago. My bestfriend is now in a relationship with a Sri Lankan man and he would literally do anything and everything for her no matter if it’s big or small. He even wipe the food off her mouth just because he loves taking care of her. I’m so happy for her because she was big on black love and that’s the only type of love for the longest and ex boyfriend who is Black made a whole fool out of her and use her until the wheels fall off. Ladies if a non black man is willing to treat like a Queen that you are let him.

[@sheeshneesh]

❤️

[@dawilldeal3036]

Tf! Yeah if you waiting for a BM to do all that you are doing the right thing dating out.Happy hunting

[@jennaywilliams1024]

You talking about your friend not you. How did your Mexican date go?

[@A45-r8s]

@@dawilldeal3036 lol

[@orlandorobinson9369]

"wipe food off her mouth"...sounds like your friend wants to be treated like a child rather than an adult.

[@evafan24]

I agree that if you're going to date interracially, you need to keep an open mind and be willing to go outside your comfort zone. I'm a black woman who started dating an asian man and it's really pushed me outside my comfort zone, but the experience has overall allowed me to grow and be a better partner and individual.

[@kawaiikoibito3268]

Can you give anecdotes from your experiences? It's so rare to see a BWAM coupling do you get alot of judgement?

[@madamelogicbombdropperblac7799]

And if you learn the language of your man's culture you can really expand your dating experience with him.

[@evafan24]

​@@kawaiikoibito3268 The type of judgment I normally get is stares. I feel like part of the reason behind that is also because I'm a lot taller than he is so we really stand out when we're out in public together. Outside of that, my family is okay with whoever I date as long as they treat me right and his family whom I've met so far have been nothing but kind and cordial to me.

[@puppyprincess2822]

@@evafan24 I'm also curious, but please discard any/all of my questions if they're too personal. Is he A American , and if so, is he one of those with a blaccent?

[@evafan24]

@@puppyprincess2822 He was born in NY but he's not one of those. Some of the slang that I've said occasionally he's never heard of so it's been quite a cultural experience for him too. XD

[@Aries16603]

I stay encouraging BW to date interracially. That’s not to say IR is the answer to BW’s problems but broadening your horizons gives you more options. Other races of women are tasting the rainbow. BW need to join in as well. These BM aren’t limiting themselves so why should you?

[@treanishajackson2295]

Yess I believe we should vet all men but from my experiences a lot of blk men just aren’t good quality

[@24-7onfocus9]

@@treanishajackson2295 black women arent good quality

[@24-7onfocus9]

I encourage BM to date interracially as well, BW aren't limiting then so why should BW. I only see BW mad though.

[@justineebourgeois3420]

Black Men > Other Men 🤷‍♀️. The white man’s family will never truly accept u as an equal. You may possibly be used an fetishized for sex before the White Man goes back to his kind to marry.

[@ledam2654]

@@24-7onfocus9 So maybe you should tell them instead of "encouraging them" under a BW's comment lol. BM aren't on this channel and you know that.

[@braidedgirl757]

One of my coworkers is Filipino and very much a preference and she told me that she liked black men but she was scared that they might cheat on her and not treat her right and I told her I understood because I do...now granted I know black men aren't the only ones who cheat but being that I deal with predominantly black men some of the experiences that I've had mirror her fears....Anyway my black male coworker who is engaged to a white woman overheard us and asked me "Why I didn't stand up for black men" And I told him "You are literally cheating on your fiancée right now"...point proven....He had no words🙃

[@chaosswa-ee-ty5911]

Smh

[@riagreen9294]

It’s the dustacity for me smdh

[@InLoveWithaPaladin]

Good Job Sis Standing up for them is not our job

[@CaramelCali]

Wow.. BM are a trip.

[@unrepentantjaegerist7236]

They're so used to us mammying for them

[@taeainthere]

Remember y’all, you’re not jaded or bitter, you’re just smart and loving yourself.

[@thfkmnIII]

Thats REEEAALLY gon depend person to person lmao

[@simonthedigger5544]

No, you are jaded and bitter. You need to get therapy.

[@twylashavers4977]

Thank you love.❤️👍👠🥰💃🏽

[@purpleflows5680]

Going on year 5 of being married. Hubby is a WM. Been a SAHW since we’ve been married. Don’t know what there is to announce. Focus on living your best life and taking action accordingly. Does he improve your life? If yes, explore the dynamic. If not, walk away.

[@kaylad1669]

Do you experience any microaggressions or overt r@cism from his family at all? Were there any cultural hurdles either of you had to overcome?

[@kobe8034]

Stfu. stop lying, yall just come on her and lie like why?

[@ccb6013]

I definitely need to hear this. I've _been_ lost attraction to BM and am mainly just cautious of them at this point. I've accidentally friendzoned myself with multiple WM that have expressed interest and am ready to move out of my own comfort zone.

[@charice1216]

While I’m elated that more and more BW are finding love and exploring their options with other races of men, I do wish we would stop announcing it. We need to learn how move in silence and stop broadcasting everything that we’re doing because people will always have something to say

[@racheltheodore7236]

I agree. 👍

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

They will say something if we say it or if we don’t. But I understand what you mean, because of safety.

[@madamelogicbombdropperblac7799]

More of us are moving overseas and buying property and starting businesses too. It's not just about finding love, but creating a new culture and leaving a biological legacy for black female posterity 👰🏿🤵🏻💍🤰🏿🤱🏾👶🏼👶🏽👶🏻

[@tulip324]

I agree with this too but on an individual level. The girls who wanna show off their man should and the ones who don’t shouldn’t. I’m more private and don’t post about the men I date but it was seeing women like me being showered and loved on by non black men that made me realize I wasn’t weird or an anomaly. It was normal and I didn’t have to feel a way cuz others wanted me to.

[@niag7273]

Yessssss omg

[@xpnn]

I believe in moving in silence. Just how you shouldn’t announce your leveling up journey

[@racheltheodore7236]

I agree. 👍

[@charice1216]

💯💯💯

[@madamelogicbombdropperblac7799]

Move on noth silence and moving meticulously 😉

[@niag7273]

EXACTLY

[@fialulu]

DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!! BE ABOUT IT!!!

[@iLikeCok]

Why not both? They do ts all the time. They need to realize we’re expanding our options now.

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

@@shirleygriffin7672 what does following Christ have to do with dating out? I’m confused?

[@melinatedvessel6840]

@@iLikeCok People realize things from actions,not talking..

[@Iloona974]

@@iLikeCok Whoever “they” are “they” need to do what they want and so do you. Stop trying to mimic others and live your life for you.

[@nopebye.777]

@@iLikeCok Are Asian women talking about it?

[@PrincessJas1024]

Chrissie is correct as always. There’s no need to announce your moves that should be private. I’ve had two serious relationships, both long term (one a marriage), both with wm. It’s natural for me. And although I’m happy to see us trying to choose better, IR dating now seems like a trend or a “get back” to blk men.

[@renaissancewoman100]

I told a bw this and she got mad. It may be a generational thing but I believe in moving quietly. I've always been open but never feel the need to announce it. They just approach me. Also I wish they would stop cyberslurping any random non black man. They're turning these men into Tyrone.

[@rubyaddison5446]

@@renaissancewoman100 facts 😂💯

[@rubyaddison5446]

Exactly 💯

[@kaia7735]

@@renaissancewoman100 Yes I agree. When black women keep announcing they're going to date out on tiktok and Twitter over and over it seems very disingenuous and people are going to catch on that it's all talk, no action.

[@renaissancewoman100]

@@rubyaddison5446 I've had to set so many non black men straight whereas I didn't have to before. Like come to me like I'm a woman period, not with the "I like chocolate". I'm not impressed I will pass you by.

[@LetThereBeLight1111]

I’ve always been attracted to non-black,men, so dating out was not a problem for me. I am a sapiosexual among other things, so I’m mostly attracted to non black men anyway🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️. Most BM just don’t stimulate me mentally. On the rare occasion that I’m attracted to a black man guess what happens… He completely turns me off by being an arrogant, low effort, ass and I simply don’t chase men.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Ooohh, you went there. I'm a sapiosexual too so I get you... But I feel so guilty to have those thoughts and attraction.

[@memyself2630]

Same here!

[@loveyourselffirst549]

Girl. Me too.

[@LetThereBeLight1111]

@@sweetpeaj1952 girl no need to feel guilty about anything. That’s why the community conditions black girls so much that we stay emotionally invested in blackistan to our own detriment. Please examine where the guilt is coming from and heal it.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

@@LetThereBeLight1111 I hear you

[@xbunnies769]

The WM that I’ve dated prefer natural hair. Also, I’d rather be fetishized with a ring from a WM than non-fetishized as a single mother by a BM. It’s quite interesting that a lot of BM ‘prefer’ straight hair, light skin, etc on women yet it’s not considered a ‘fetish.’ Yet if WM prefers dark skin, natural hair, etc on women then everyone is quick to call it a ‘fetish.’

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

I always hated the "fetish" saying. I remember when jungle fever came out and guys were saying that about me and my reply back was I have jungle cancer because it's terminal, a fever comes and goes. They shut up after that. I been married 23 yrs so far

[@xbunnies769]

@@fmfdocbotl4358 Congrats on your marriage 🎉

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

@@xbunnies769 thank you

[@niratomas579]

Furthermore, why is it that women of other races are allowed to benefit from being fetishized but not BW? Asian women benefit tremendously for being fetishized as submissive and feminine. Even if it’s for their collective image. They benefit. But there’s an underlying feeling that BW aren’t allowed to benefit from being fetishized!

[@caitlynnee5115]

@@niratomas579 I think it’s the fear of men only wanting to try sex with a black woman. I’ve unfortunately had that happen. A white guy told me AFTER sex, that he always wanted to have sex with a black girl. It made me feel like a test guinea pig. I’ve had bad experiences with black men too though. The last black man I was going on dates with, wouldn’t be official with me after months of talking. He told me he eventually wanted me to be his gf, but he was too slow. He didn’t want me to go on dates with other men though. Plus he would invalidate my feelings and brush off my concerns. We as black women need to really understand vetting men, regardless of race. It’s possible to find a man who loves & respects you and also embrace your blackness. We shouldn’t let these fears hold us back. There’s a chance you may come across a racial fetishist or a colorist bm, but there’s also a chance of finding the love of your life. Don’t let a few rotten apples spoil the batch, ladies!

[@TheVeritasForYou]

Oh nah Chrissie me and my man have been steady for a while now and I've been swirling since I started dating. All the races are fair game for me and dating this way from the beginning has spared me a LOT of trauma from nonsense relationships with black men. Honestly, when I get married it will all be thanks to you 🙏

[@safirahudgins4895]

Same, Chrissie has taught me so much 🥺🤍

[@TheVeritasForYou]

@annette key For the serious long term relationships I've had, these dudes transformed into seriously codependent individuals. they didn't like that I travelled a lot and had a lot of friends and acquaintances. I used to go for the quiet and serious types before realizing my man needs to be socialized lol. My current bf solo travels and has a core group of friends and he meshes well with mine so I have hopefully solved that 😂

[@callalilly4743]

We're so afraid of change. The black community has done a number on our psyche that many of us done think we deserve better.

[@deenadream]

Sooo true

[@laynasia2711]

I agree. I struggled with it a lot.

[@lifeisbeautiful9455]

Exactly! I dated out! And I’m going back to it. Black men that I’m not even dating are giving me hell 🤔🤣🤣🤣 like why you talking to me like that and we’ve never met.

[@lifeisbeautiful9455]

Exactly! I dated out! And I’m going back to it. Black men that I’m not even dating are giving me hell 🤔🤣🤣🤣 like why you talking to me like that and we’ve never met.

[@amourtoujours779]

Half the community IS us...

[@__Selena__]

Yeah growing up in predominantly black areas and going to a PWI was the culture shock for me 😂 being around other bp was the most comfortable and still is to be honest. As for the romantic part, my interest in bm have declined a lot over time but I haven’t really put myself in diverse spaces due to not wanting to step out my comfort zone. I hear you, Chrissie 😭💕

[@__Selena__]

@@LorenCognita thank you love 💕 and exactly bm can just be so aggy at times. This whole submission and “bringing to the table” talk are teeth grinding. The professionals can be even worse. I love my bw friends though, I just can’t help it. We’re the bomb 😭😩

[@shy_donut8307]

That’s interesting, I’m the exact opposite. I’ve always felt most comfortable in diverse environments because I grew up in a diverse upper middle class suburb. To me diverse spaces symbolize that it’s a place where a lot of different people feel comfortable and welcomed there and that’s a good sign to me!! I’ve always had crushes on men of different races and ethnicities so being race loyal never was in my nature. I think the best advice I can give you is that there are WAY MORE men of other races that find you attractive than you think. On all the dating apps I’ve been more non black men have liked my profile than black men.

[@__Selena__]

@@shy_donut8307 (long read 😭) I see what you mean. I think for me, I had to deal with a lot of code switching due to not being taken seriously in other spaces. I never felt like I could be my true self and I guess that is the imposter syndrome Chrissie also discussed. When you have an urban accent, people tend to stereotype you a lot and you don’t easily blend in without having to tone yourself down in some sort (more in a figurative way). But when I just let myself be, I realized people really didn’t care as much and it was sort of in my head. I still experienced microagressions there and there but it’s usually in the work or academia setting. It’s normal to feel more at ease around people who reflect you because all groups do it. I think others have to do their part as well in making spaces more welcoming for us. I want to respond to the other part but this comment is long enough 😂

[@daniella6997]

Are you in college? I heard black men at white colleges chase white girls and Latinas. I heard that they don't look for black women.

[@shy_donut8307]

@@__Selena__ no worries! I love long comments lol. I kind of get what you mean though. Also sorry you experienced that :( I go to a minority serving university so that means we have more minorities than white people who attend the university. So damn near the whole university ain’t with that racism shit and will raise hell to resolve the issue. There’s also a huge immigrant population too and tbh…that presents its own issues but they’re more so cultures clashing with each other. When there’s a bunch of different people in one place code switching isn’t really necessary from what I’ve seen because everyone is used to accents and hearing different languages.

[@Mavaros90]

My attraction for black men disappeared. I dont know when or how it went but even one that are good looking don't do anything for me. I'm attracted to men who treat me how I deserve.

[@trudy-annsmall9600]

Indeed

[@sashabell2390]

I actually need to hear this. For some reason I just want to break out do all the things that are for “ white people”. As a college student that mindset is so limiting and debilitating. I’ve been kind of sheltered for some time so I’m starting to experience micro aggressions and the cliquish behavior from groups of people but this inspires to keep at it anyway

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

So I'm a white guy married to a Black woman and we travel a lot and go hiking and camping, we also love to watch the arts like ballet and theater. I have taken her fishing which she didn't enjoy the "fishing" part but loved being at the lake.

[@se2664]

@@fmfdocbotl4358 how did you meet her?

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

@@se2664 through mutual friends.

[@mikdogg69]

@@fmfdocbotl4358 my white hubby and I are always camping, hiking, kayaking and traveling ☺️

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

@@mikdogg69 it's a peaceful thing being in nature, so glad you enjoy it also. 😊

[@ccb6013]

The last straw for me that made me accept I was no longer attracted to BM was realizing how entitled they feel to being protected by women, and how disingenuous they are about how that is not a manly trait. I just cannot be honestly attracted to a group of men who are so at ease with being damsels, while also forcing the "knight in shining armor" role onto unwilling BW. I've always been drawn to strong, masculine men and it's on BM that they've shown the world that they are not that. I feel like I might as well be with another woman if I'm going to deal with that type of energy.

[@ccb6013]

@@LorenCognita Exactly. It's also on the normal ones to speak up more though and distinguish themselves from the trash heap.

[@butterflygirl01]

Being around bm makes u feel unprotected and masculine because they’re not masculine and real men themselves

[@lilkay20202002]

Move in silence Ladies! Allow your actions to speak for you!

[@madamelogicbombdropperblac7799]

Show them, don't tell them.

[@GiaaVlogs]

Yesss

[@tyramcneal1204]

Exactly I don’t have a sad story about why I’m choosing not to date BM. Thankfully I just recently started dating within the last year and I’m 26 years old. So in the beginning of my dating journey I knew from the start I would include all races of men. It took me to go on dates with 2 black men ( 1 African and 1 African Adopted by an American family) for me to realize I felt anxiety before the dates with them. I also couldn’t get all these online conversations and what I’ve been seeing from them online out of my head so it was an easy decision to stop while I was ahead. Now I too exclusively date Non-BM and this feels right for me. It’s okay to silently leave the community and all the drama with love. ❤️ Of course I still vet all the men I date and keep that rotation moving! Lol 😂 Best wishes to all of you amazing women on your journeys!! Cheers 🥂

[@stephanies9071]

I knew it!!!! I knew I wasn't crazy!! Those f*ckers bring anxiety, stress unpleasantness and then some. Uuuugh!!!! I can kick my own *ss sometimes for entertaining them 😤😤😤.

[@niratomas579]

Right! I’m not even mad! In fact, I’m grateful! Quietly moving on is the way to go💗

[@TVwriter23]

@@niratomas579 right #blindside #moveinsilence

[@memyself2630]

Cheers 🥂

[@chinaking918]

This. I hate that dating out is almost always equates to you being hurt. Some of us just like men regardless of race. I’m not doing this to get back or one up anyone. I’m doing this because I like men lol it’s really just that simple.

[@zenobia0515]

I’m like Chrissie in that Ive always liked all different flavors too lol. The fact that I ended up marrying a white man happened naturally, I didn’t seek out an interracial relationship. I’m here to tell you that it’s really not that deep. So many of them (white men, etc.) are interested in us, but don’t know if we’re interested in them! Just go for it & you’ll be surprised at the overwhelmingly positive response you get..

[@rebeccajean176]

Same

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

So I would get questioned by my junior troops about how to approach Black women since I been married to a Black woman 23yrs now. They were hesitant to ask because they didn't know if Black women were attracted to them. I always said, just be yourself.

[@zenobia0515]

@@fmfdocbotl4358 Absolutely, good advice! It’s really that simple!

[@farmhouseonthemountain]

Yes! I'm a woman whose also ended up with a white husband, but I was born and raised in the suburbs, so it was always a possibility lol. The first thing most white men say to black women is "Do you date white guys?" They can be just as insecure as us and it's really not that deep. Men are men and women are women.

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

@@farmhouseonthemountain I grew up in city. Some of the schools I went to I can't count on one hand how many white kids were in my classroom. So I never was scared to ask a Black girl out but I can see why some white guys are.

[@ASprinkleofAnime]

I wish women would stop saying "I have no choice but to date out" and "i wanted a black man but black men didnt want me". You make it seem like dating out is a last resort and how do think that makes non black men feel to hear that? They'll think you'll go running back to the first black man who tells you he's a "good black man"

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

True! I’ve felt the same way about this. I’ve always liked non black men, so It’s kind of a concerning thing if you express that you are solely dating them just because “you had no choice” because of how the men in the “community” are behaving/thinking about their natural counterparts. It seems similar to a backhanded compliment.

[@lifewithangelina92]

@@shanbruton8762 😂😂😂😂

[@puppyprincess2822]

@@shanbruton8762 🛑

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Agreed.

[@quickpstuts412]

Which means they aren't really ready. They are doing it out of spite or to make a point. Great way for it to backfire. There's still a lot of black women who think it will be an instant fix for their love life, but still deep down want black men.

[@Nayankaa]

I know all about losing attraction to black men *I NEVER THOUGHT IT COULD BE ME* a decade ago in my twenties I started dating and lost all interest real quick ! I realized then 😕 they've never really been nice to me, not even as friends...I was in denial, never looked back !

[@jaypumpkin5978]

Exactly chrissie! I’m a bw & im 26. My current boyfriend is white, also 26. We’ve been dating for almost two years. Before him I’ve dated out a couple times, I started dating out when I was 22. If I’m being honest I prefer to now date non black men, not saying I wouldn’t date black men at all but their not my preference. My relationships with non bm have been different and that’s because their socialized differently. For example with my current boyfriend, he pays all the bills, I just do groceries, he gave me one of his cars to drive 2018 jeep, he’s great at communicating, he respects me, hes already talking about marriage, he’s not only a great provider but he’s honestly my best friend. Are we like two peas in a pod? No! But I think that is what makes our relationship all the more interesting. For me dating non black men has allowed me to rest in my femininity & while dating black men I didn’t have that opportunity. So for the black women thinking about dating out, just go for it. If you’re worried about the hair explain it to them, I showed my boyfriend a KZbin video on it once and he said oh that’s cool, said it looked nice and that was it. As far as them being racist, again I agree with chrissie, you have black men out here being colorist, homophobic, sexist etc but we still date them. It’s good and bad in every race, just vet, have standards & you’ll be fine. Black women expand your options bc we do have them, my boyfriends friends were always asking me if I could hook them up with any of my single friends.

[@alexanderasante5188]

Preference hm

[@Its_Ahlaya]

Gen Z girls ain’t playing baby! They are dating out and I’m BEYOND proud of them.

[@deenadream]

I’m loving it

[@shewhowrites101]

Be as silent as Beyoncé, Ladies ✨🤐🖤

[@ChrissiesWay]

Intro 0:00 Moving strategically online 0:45 IR dating: talking vs doing 5:34 Losing desire for black men 6:51 Leaving your dating comfort zone 9:42 Fear of racism & culture shock 11:13 The stats 16:08 Fear of change 18:45 Overcoming imposter syndrome 21:12 Join Patreon www.patreon.com/chrissiesway Become a KZbin Channel Member bit.ly/JoinChrissieYT Shop www.amazon.com/shop/chrissie Sign Up for Mailing List bit.ly/ChrissieMailingList Donate www.cash.app/$ChrissieYT www.paypal.me/divinedarkskin Visit Website chrissieonline.com/

[@PinkFlamesBlackSmoke]

Chrissie can you please discuss/give advice to young (early 20s) black women who haven’t been in a relationship at all and are ready to but are unsure of how to navigate dating?

[@honeybee2919]

I'm on the opposite of the spectrum. I've never dated black men. I think the announcements are a last ditch attempt to get black men to change their minds. Deep down they're still hoping.

[@kitejohnson515]

They need to let it go

[@AkilahIsHuman]

Yup

[@vanessaroper3028]

Good point

[@bridgettedenise]

So true

[@cloudydaysandsoup3247]

not always the case though some of us a genuinely tired of bm

[@justcallmelola]

Ladies! You don't need ANYONE'S permission to date out lol. Why are you announcing this to black men? You don't need their approval! 😂

[@melissasimmons3222]

A BW who truly dates out and can get men of all colors to wine & dine her usually don’t announce it, they just do it. My current bf isn’t black and neither was the one before. I never made an announcement, I just did it. I was always attracted to men of many different races or ethnicities so it never bothered me. A lot of women or men who do this are looking for other races as the rebound. Like they would’ve chose someone as the same race as them if they found one that fit their criteria, but since they haven’t, they then date out. That’s the real tea!

[@kisha4040]

A lot of BW are simply too afraid to date out because of the reactions they get from BM. BW whether they want to admit it or not are intimidated and scared of BM. They know what BM are capable of doing. I've read so many stories about BW/ WM couples being harassed/ assaulted even murdered by BM. No one wants to talk about it but it's true. It's a sad situation. BM don't want BW but they don't want anyone else to have us. Like an abusive relationship.

[@justcallmelola]

Unless they're paying your bills, you don't owe them ANYTHING lol! They're all big n bad behind their computers, but life outside of that is very different. If you're not in the hood, the most "harassment" you may get will be the nosy stares... 👀👀👀 (Speaking from experience ☺)

[@kisha4040]

@@justcallmelola I agree. BW don't owe BM anything but we still must protect ourselves from them and learn to avoid areas where they mostly are when we date out. I always say BW who date out need to not go to mostly Black spaces because it's just not safe.

[@Seaguardian80]

I have been accused of only being attracted to white men, by my own sister no less, which is bull. The fact of the matter is that she’s BM identified, while my mindset is: life is a smorgasbord. Why would I limit myself? 😋 So far I’ve gone on dates with white, Asian and black men.

[@FortunaFavored]

And it wouldn’t matter who you are attracted to anyway. Its your business alone and you owe no explanations.

[@Seaguardian80]

Absolutely. It just gets annoying hearing that shit over and over again unprovoked. Worry about yourself.

[@Seaguardian80]

😂 But who are they dating? See, the irony is that most of these black male family members date mixed or non-BW themselves. 👀

[@silent_dolphin3970]

@@LorenCognita weird thing to say

[@lmusima3275]

She worship BM and expects you to do the same.

[@amberrj.]

It's so weird how often black ppl announce they're dating out. 'Dating out' is something that just naturally happens. U articulated this video very well, btw.

[@Iloona974]

Black american people mostly tbh

[@ivyrainbitch]

@@Iloona974 how is it black american people mostly?

[@nopebye.777]

@@ivyrainbitch Because other groups of blck folks have done this naturally for decades. Only reason you may see African and Caribbean youtubers talk about is because blck Americans made it into a profitable niche. Mostly, blck American WOMEN.

[@planckismus]

As a non black woman, when I first saw the statistic that black men had the lowest response rate in a dating app towards black women I was dumbfounded. How do they not prefer their own race? It’s not my business in that way but I thought it was horrible, not even getting into how black women are outperforming black men. I think considering this no one should have the audacity to criticize black women for expanding their options

[@strawberrybangtan6269]

They have self hate and worship non bw especially 👱🏻‍♀️that’s why… the reason why africa got Colonised and conquered is because bm self hate and love for wiyness. There’s levels to this. This is the sad truth. Unfortunately we are connected to weak males. They will never change so it’s time for bw to abort and stop giving them life. We are only on the bottom because of bm …

[@jpmiyuka]

Ladies just do it. Tips in the video are very vital. I was working on my self when I met my now Puerto Rican husband 6 years ago (Married 5). He loved my natural hair and I was hitting the gym. I'm a stay at home wife now. He treats me so well. I was so use to struggle, it was hard to get acclimated to how he was treating me. I definitely felt the Imposter Syndrome you were talking about Chrissie. But I'm so happy, content, and at peace. It can happen for you.

[@gabriellehanks6850]

When I started dating out in 2012 I didn't say ish, I just did it after ending a tumultuous relationship with a bm. I took 8 months off the dating scene to work on me before hand and haven't looked back since. You don't have to make any speeches ladies.

[@BarbieDawl.__]

Where can I go to meet them

[@SKRIDDLE1]

I intentionally seeked out white men after having bad luck with down and out Latinos and black men. I didn’t know how to approach it cause my whole world had been all about dating black and Latinos thanks to the neighborhood I grew up in. Fortunately, I have a large range of taste in music so I started going to concerts and festivals where the majority of folks were white. Then I moved to a mixed and very liberal city. I connected with plenty of white men just by going out and doing things I enjoyed that they might enjoy too. I met my now fiancé years ago. He’s pretty outdoorsy and very active. Likes a simple life, is stable and a family oriented. Takes responsibility for his actions and is committed to commitment. I brought in a little bit of my personality and likes and let him introduce me to his. So we go on nice hikes with the dogs on weekends. Or quiet getaways to the mountains since that’s what he likes. And after hikes we go to restaurants to eat. And on our getaways we check out the towns and whatever social activities they have (since that’s that’s what I like to do). It’s simple, mostly easy, we meet in the middle. I put myself out there and learn new things thanks to him and vice versa. I’m not saying it’s perfect, but thanks to social media I can see how my exes are doing and most have like 5 baby mommas and still living at home with their parents. So I feel like I made the right move. Literally.

[@deenadream]

Girl. U are living my dream life

[@jessicarabbit439]

I do not want these undercover mammies ruining the image of bw with non bm. Move in silence. Learn the pathology of dusties so you can spot it and avoid or leave immediantly.no one want to feel like you settle for them, its disrespectful. 100% agree chrissie.

[@vibez.no.cartel]

exactly.. but just don't end up with a non black dude like jack harlow who just panders to BW for clout. because the average non black and black dude will pander, just for sex. read through the BS.

[@hereforit2347]

The fact Black women would refer to other Black women in racist terms like “mammy” is so telling and indicative of self-hate. 😢

[@cleopatraking7092]

Girl the way I needed to hear this! I’ve really been trying to dive into interracial dating but all the point you made in this video are literally the reason why I’m hesitant. I really wanted and value black love but it’s looking like I really have to extend my options to all men if I really want to be married someday. I just need to dive in and just do it !

[@niratomas579]

Diving in can start really slow; you can go at your own pace! For example, I’m joining a boxing gym and acquainting myself with different types of men and people in general! The more I’m there the more confident I become! Cheers to you 🥂

[@cleopatraking7092]

@@niratomas579 thank you girl ! Pray for me. It def a little nerve wrecking just because of the unknown. Almost retraining your brain of all the toxic ish we’ve been conditioned to think about BW and interracial dating you know. But I def can’t hold myself back and miss out on a good quality person just because of “race loyalty” slowly but sure the confidence is coming !

[@shadybrooks8174]

The hardest part about dating non black men are their family members. Also ya'll, I recently got engaged to my man 🥰.

[@loveyourselfAshley]

Congratulations 🎉 🥳 🎊 👏 💐 🎉

[@ivyrainbitch]

If their family members are racist that's a red flag

[@genevaxo]

Congrats!!!

[@shadybrooks8174]

Thankyou all for your kind words 😁❤❤❤

[@justineebourgeois3420]

To the family, you’ll always be a N-word. Don’t ever forget.

[@amethyststone1678]

You are so good at what you do Chrissie! I firmly believe that there are evil entities that don't want black women date out and marry up is because there are people that benefit from the lower class of black men getting with black women to continue to give birth to the black people that will be the permanent underclass. If every black woman married up over 60% then that means in 20 years we could break the generational curse of black females being born into poverty. WE BLACK WOMEN MUST BREAK THE GENERATIONAL CURSE OF BLACK FEMALE POVERTY AND THAT CAN ONLY BE POSSIBLE BY DATE OUT AND MARRYING UP. Black women need to understand that its a different world now and the world is our oyster and we black ladies need to grab as many pearls as we can. If move in silence and move meticulously in 20 years we can create a whole new culture and leave a great legacy for black female posterity as I hear so oftern floating around👰🏿🤵🏻💍🤰🏾🤱🏾👶🏼

[@dearbrave4183]

Exactly ❤️ better decision is the only thing that can change the community ✨

[@amethyststone1678]

​@@dearbrave4183 I concur! We black ladies can bring the black female poverty rate down in less than 20 years if we simply take the road less traveled. By that I mean looking at marriage not only as a business arrangment but as a political statement. Who you marry is political because it tells the world how you see yourself and and who you are because who you marry is a reflection of you. The reason why black women have the image we've had for decades is because of the men society told us choose. Now that many black women are dating out, marrying out, and living in a better social economic class we now have a better legacy to leave for our children. Ever notice how when a black man dies black women have a car wash drive to raise money to bury him, but when a non black man dies he leaves a life insurance policy? Think about it.

[@Stormy867]

Well said!!!!

[@keepmywifesnameoutyomouth6373]

Yes, there is a huge push in the media and real life for black women to be seen as undesirable. If our PR becomes more positive then that means even more non-black men will take a chance and date and possibly marry black men in the future.

[@nopebye.777]

Word for word, mammies thought and shared this rhetoric when it came to blck love. Maybe these men just don't want you. Asian women aren't having any trouble.

[@shenyae4143]

Never announce your plans black women, just do it and move in silence. Also make sure you vet all races of men properly if you choose to date them, cause anyone can be dusty.

[@se2664]

Yes I've dealt with many WM who weren't necessarily "dusty" but they were emotionally unavailable and lacked communication. I've moved on fromt them but those 2 characteristics are general problem with men.

[@Bloombaby99]

Actions *ALWAYS* speak louder than words. That is all. No need to weaponize white/nonblack men against BM. We're better than that and we should show it by not showing our deck of cards. Trust me, white and nonblack men don't need their egos stroked. They already know we were given the short end of the stick when it comes to mates in our community. A lot of them would've have even voiced this years ago but they don't want the "racist" tag attached to them nor do they want to be told to "stay out of black business". Embrace your natural black feminity and attract the right man you want.

[@aliyahharmon9045]

I live in a college town and most of the black girls in relationships are with white and Asian guys. It’s nice to see the girls having a good time and accepting love

[@teamwhit2you519]

Great video Chrissie. I’m happily married to a white gentleman for 10 years but I still follow you to keep up with what’s going on out there and also because I have an adult daughter. I too used to have that black love mindset, my first husband was a black man, but after that I learned that a good man was the goal, no matter the race, I have a very good one that is a provider now. I send my daughter some of your videos from time to time. I think all young black women should follow you and to know to keep their options open in regards to men of other races.

[@dianasohn2515]

Black men LOVE other race women hair, they love their light skin n they vocalize it constantly they are the ones that has the fetish n the other race wmn LOVE IT! So how is it a fetish If white man like our hair n skin? N why is liking our hair n skin a problem. Also black men love bringing other race wmn in our spaces! Love bringing them to our clubs, our events etc. WE SHOULD TAKE NOTES

[@faye1417]

Currently dating a white man. It’s also not new to me. Was adopted by whites and went to predominantly white schools so I’m used to being around white boys and finding them attractive. i never dated anything close to black untill I was 20. I naturally found black men attractive just by finally being around them but over the years I witnessed the disrespect and colorism and dysfunction and decided I wanted no part in it. non black men are just easier to vet and less risky to take chances on and I’ve been played, lied to, dumped, ghosted by white men. Like Chrissie stated, they not perfect. But guess what? I walked away with no STDs from them, no kids from them, etc. I’m 30 and still child free. A white man will pump and dump you and never speak to you again but a black man will pump and dump, come back, leave you with a baby and then leave again and repeat the cycle.

[@tshaolin971]

So much stereotypes in what you said, it’s amazing and scary how the brain manufactures our perception of the world when we let our judgment and believes take over.

[@peacelove7437]

@@tshaolin971 Is it stereotyping when there are studies & statistics? Bm marry less but have more kids out of wed lock. That's a fact. It's not a stereo type.

[@Veronique428]

@@peacelove7437 Black women too since they produce those babies with black men 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@faye1417]

Update: I’m engaged now :)

[@tshaolin971]

@@faye1417 Congrats but you’re wrong about something. Mature men don’t choose women based on colorism this is the argument insecure women use to feel good about themselves but rather on attractiveness, compatibility and character. Women choose who they have sex with or not while men choose who they marry or commit to long term, it’s goes one way in both cases.

[@ebonygoddess007]

We really talk too much 🤦🏿‍♀️

[@ebonygoddess007]

Just do it‼️ Let's go

[@kawaiikoibito3268]

Your profile pic😭😭

[@bubblegumprincess6362]

@@ebonygoddess007 Yo profile gets me every damn time. Lol

[@ebonygoddess007]

@@kawaiikoibito3268 I'm silly. I'll act right one day

[@ebonygoddess007]

@@bubblegumprincess6362 lol 😂😂 Thought I would change it after the funeral..... nope still here. Happy Wednesday Sis 💜

[@crystalhill7663]

I've never understood the concept of announcing what you're doing, including who you chose to date. If you wanna date out...just do it. part of being an independent woman is the freedom to do what you wanna do. People will know you've decided to date out when you show up to the picnic with Brad...no announcement necessary! 🤗

[@finewomanhood]

I have never experienced a small packaged NON bm. Actually the most small packaged I’ve experienced was a BM. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Bloombaby99]

😂😂😂😂

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

This is actually true for me too.....

[@Sapiobeauty]

True!!!!

[@xbunnies769]

Same

[@shay3697]

Bbc is a myth

[@Ashley.18]

Stop announcing it bw please

[@prettywahala]

Not sure why they feel they need to announce it like they're coming out of the closet. Just do it. It's not anyone's business anyway.

[@mimiandy1683]

In my opinion- and this is coming from an aro-ace black woman - it is never about _wanting to date interracially_ for some women. I feel like it is all about “getting even” with black men. Well, they think it is a way to get even at black men. It’s why there are “divested” individuals out there, who always find ways to bring up black men.

[@melinatedvessel6840]

Then they come off like the black men who do it. These BM are not healthy,they are attempting to guilttrip, shame, blame,& explain...It's not a flex....when doing it this way.. Just live your life BW,no need to broadcast..

[@TVwriter23]

@@mimiandy1683 I think it's more about getting blk men to comeback. The oh no don't leave.

[@pamelathompson6783]

I am Millennial born in 95' ! I am so proud of the GEN Z black American women!!! They are so open to dating outside their race (Hispanic, white, Asian, African, Middle Eastern Men etc...) I am from East Africa and Live in California and never liked or was attracted to African American men ,their mindset, and baby mamas culture . IDK how Black women do it. This is why it is so rare for African women to date AA men in America.

[@serious7179]

I hate that this even has to be a topic, but I totally get it. Before I got married and was dating, dating outside of my race, me being a black woman, wasn't even a thought. If I thought a guy was cute and we were feeling each other and he seem like a decent guy and I wanted to get to know more, we would date. I always liked variety, so I never ever felt limited to Black men, even when they would get attitude seeing me with other races. I wish more women had this mindset. It never occurred to me that I should somehow be dating a black man or black man or never more attractive than any other man to me. Date to find love, not to match skin tones ladies!

[@sweetpeaj1952]

I'm seeing a lot of comments about how dating non bm seems better than a bm. I just don't want anyone to be naive. Men are men regardless, choose wsely.

[@sayecarrie]

I agree.

[@Veronique428]

@@sayecarrie Unfortunately this is the majority of the comment on this section! This is not brand new, it didn’t start today, three to four years ago they were already spewing those same rethoric; but over the years it getting worse, the same women whom complain about black men saying black women don’t worth it, are masculine,not soft, ghetto, trash ect now are the same women saying basically almost words for words the same thing about black men! Only in black community we will find and exhibit those behaviour for the world to see; as a black European woman, I used to defending black Americans women here on KZbin when black men were trashing them. But now I am seeing them doing the same thing they were crying about years ago, I am infuriated, appalled and disgusted to say the least. But most of them will have their wake up call, I hope it won’t be too late ‼️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Pbbbb]

Well a black man will kill you in a relationship .. those same things they use to say about “white men and dating out” is the same behavior they exhibit. Proceed with them at your own risk

[@justineebourgeois3420]

Facts. These black women are putting white men on a pedestal like they don’t cheat or aren’t disrespectful. These white men families 9/10 will never accept you as an equal and will call you racist names behind your back 🤷‍♀️ .

[@latonyaeasterlin3432]

I am an older black woman, and I appreciate this video. You mention alot of things that I had concerns about. I had a white boyfriend years ago, and he so nice, very respectful. I have decided to expand my options.

[@icomeinpeace3756]

Is it just me, but I feel an energy change with Chrissie haha, seems way more carefree, lively, and just positive vibes coming through the sound of her voice. I love it! Hope to get like that

[@keepmywifesnameoutyomouth6373]

Because black men bring dark days. She's free now.

[@ChrisBrooks34]

I think people also should remember that interracial doesn't just mean black-and-white there are other people to date. Maybe you just don't see yourself with a white partner there are POC to choose from.

[@tatyana-fw8re]

I can personally say ladies give it a chance wm are actually very sweet

[@thematrix496]

Not all. Lol

[@brownsugar9629]

@@thematrix496 exactly.

[@NoName-sp5dp]

@@thematrix496 well duh that's all people

[@lila8008]

Very true. There is a higher sense of emotional intelligence with other races of men, of course, not all, but consistently enough to notice the difference

[@nopebye.777]

They are "sweet" because their women generally have high standards. However, bw's low standards tells men to longer be "sweet"

[@Three_Diamonds]

I'm starting to swipe right on white men... & they're matching w/ me, too. I have 1 now who asked for my number & wants to hang out.

[@ivyrainbitch]

All races of men or white men?

[@Three_Diamonds]

@@ivyrainbitch My #1 choice is always Black men, but I do find some White & Latino men attractive. I'm starting to slowly step back from black men. I'm tired of the disrespect.

[@Bloombaby99]

@@Three_Diamonds Girl, get your prince whoever he is.

[@icedcocoa221]

The yt men like me so much on the apps but I just love brown skin 🤌🏾 Luckly, brown skin isn't exclusive to one ethnicity.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Be careful because many wm will swipe right on bw for fun, when it's time for a relationship different story. And please don't attack me. Just something I've observed.

[@DarrellRJr]

Black man here. I like your videos. It’s tough out here. I hope anyone reading this finds the love you’re looking for. You deserve it. Blessings

[@wherebeautymeetswellness]

BW should focus on happiness and peace of mind. Go where you receive that! It’s really that simple when you love yourself bec you know you are WORTHY of that . I’m happy that more of us are shifting our mindset 💕

[@Unique2U05]

I've had ALL KINDS of men approach me 🤣.Especially yt men.I stopped paying attention to my family that was trying to drill into my head to be a mammie maximus and only get with a blk man.Blk women do not listen to blk men when they say other men don't want you.Several of my friends are married to non blk men and are happy.

[@catharsismemory]

My husband says he sees black women with white guys all the time where I live so he says it's possible Even his mom says she sees it alot and that a lot guys actually are attracted to black women. It's just I hardly see it for myself lol Plus I'm black and my husband is spanish so I think it's very possible for black women to find a man outside your race. Just give it a shot 😃

[@kitejohnson515]

Why wouldn’t it be possible

[@catharsismemory]

@@kitejohnson515 it's not, but there are a lot black women who feel like it is cause they are scared for many reasons. They're scared of facing racism, being fetished, or unwanted by other men cause of their skintone. It doesn't help when you the community saying those things to you in order to discourage you from trying.

[@butterflygirl01]

@@catharsismemory yep the community puts lots of fear in bw to keep them with bm. This doesn’t happen with bm, bm just get to date whoever and don’t grow up hearing non bw are the enemy

[@nopebye.777]

@@butterflygirl01 51% of the communitah is women. So....who is putting that fear there?

[@Pbbbb]

@@butterflygirl01 exactly it’s a psychological torture yet those some demons are out here stabbing their child’s mothers to death, beating BW to death, or shooting them. Yet we are supposed to be afraid of Brad.

[@iluvjuj07]

I don’t understand the announcements. LOL. Just do it. 🤣🤣🤣

[@ece282]

the men would have to be pursuing them for them to “do it” the numbers aren’t there

[@nopebye.777]

@@ece282 Boom!!!!

[@NoName-sp5dp]

@@ece282...idk where you're living. The numbers see definitely there lol

[@ruggiec.ruggleby6511]

Racial isolation in black women's dating lives becomes cemented in the college years. If you're a t PWI, beware the black student orientations, organizations and the older black college administrators that keep you racially isolated for 4 years. Don't be pressured into sitting in the black section all the time. If you're at an HBCU try an exchange program with a PWI. Consider study abroad. Pick up corny events. Learn to cook other people's cuisine. You'd be surprised how many people admire black women from afar! And to know some of their language or cook in their cuisine will make you a big hit. Find an excuse to hang out with the international students. At the college level, have friendships with white people but beware of their "get drunk" events, they go overboard and it gets dangerous. Also realize that white people do use the college experience to have sexually diverse experiences with people they won't marry, so consider dating white guys after college instead and be friends-only in the college years. Do immersive language study in another culture. Learn to swim and do activities where you'll be on the water. Another strategy is to find a black girlfriend who's wiling to pair up with you for some of these experiences. But most of all, have fun.

[@daniella6997]

This!! I notice that black women isolate themselves from other races. Black women care about having only black female friends and only dating black men. Black men don't do this. They don't care about having black friendships or dating black women. This is why black men are accepted at white colleges more than black women are. Black men assimilate by having white male friends and dating white women. Black women should do the same. They should try to make friend with some white women and try dating white men.

[@cboom8604]

Tamar just pop out with one. She never made announcement.

[@racheltheodore7236]

True

[@NoName-sp5dp]

@HELLUR Tamar was a beaten wife. Of course she's going to have problems. She needs therapy not D

[@taters2883]

👏👏👏

[@NM-ng6ng]

I’m an attorney and married to a non-black man, as I’m choosing me ALWAYS

[@xlovex4740]

Also please be careful with announcing these things online. A young lady on Tik Tok announced she was dating out and is now being threatened to be ended. They found her name, address, and are threatening her family members as well. Please just stay silent and get out blk women !

[@claritywithkj2509]

This was a necessary video, Chrissie! BW should realize that dating non BM is not really that big a deal if you choose wisely. I’ve dated all races since my teen years and there’s good and bad in all. BW need to stop overthinking and just be your best self, be open and the love you deserve will come to you. It’s not easy but it is simple!

[@Mali8499]

I stopped dating black men at 19 after a tramatizibg experience. I'm great now but it was terrible after like 1 1/2 months

[@soulbeautiful4586]

I'm sorry but the WORST sexual experience, the worst relationship I've ever had was with a black man. I'll NEVER do that again lol

[@PeanutJelly90]

Was he selfish in bed? A lot of them are.

[@sandranorton53]

my worst experience was with a white man but I'm now married to a great black man. Guess with life everyone's experiences are different.

[@soulbeautiful4586]

@@PeanutJelly90 it was lame 😒 🙄 and very small and very fast lol

[@soulbeautiful4586]

@@sandranorton53 👍 👌

[@ohanaohana8844]

@@sandranorton53 Congratulations on your "great" bm, but be forewarned that they will almost ALWAYS exhibit some form of dusty behavior, only a matter of time. I've seen and heard it ALL.

[@datruff007]

For the record, swirling gone wrong effects us too. Had a few relationships get interrupted by her side of the family, but mostly friends.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

What are your thoughts about dating bw? There are a lot of wm who are watching these channels - how did you find it? I'm really curious. But yes, the blk Community has an issue when women do it.

[@datruff007]

@@LisaSoulLevelHealing Girls i dated in the past got me on to this channel along with some other similar content creators. I'm always trying to learn more and understand things better. Also judt to gage how others perceive certain issues. Like IR dating.

[@datruff007]

@@LisaSoulLevelHealing I have had much better success with Caribbean and African women. They don't care what the new think. Many have approached me first. I like that.

[@NoName-sp5dp]

@@datruff007 African women are about religion and stability first. The same race and culture is nice but there's plenty of men that don't match spiritually or even emotionally. African women get it. Coming from an African woman 💁🏾‍♀️

[@datruff007]

@@NoName-sp5dp Met some really nice African women. Wish there were more here lol

[@EclecticChoices1972]

Love these smart women in Chrissies' comment section💗So glad to know BW are decreasing in numbers when it comes to BW capeing for BM. Thank you so much Chrissie for continuing to educate BW to the wonderful flavors and varieties of men other than BM. Keep sounding the alarm Chrissie. 👏🏽

[@maribelle7673]

I can totally relate to this video! Some years ago I lost my attraction to BM, too, and I no longer date them. I am now more attracted to non-BM and only date them exclusively. I hate to say “never”, but I don’t see myself dating another BM again🤷‍♀️

[@leandradozier968]

Yes. I’ve dated mainly white men since I was 19 because that’s who I’m attracted to. That’s what I like.

[@ngozikim]

The way I get treated outweighs anything we may not “have in common” find commonality in KINDNESS from your partner ladies. 🤗 Also, It’s a heatwave taking place y’all stay hydrated if it’s in your area! 🥵🥰

[@niag7273]

YESSSS HAHAHAH

[@irses457]

Wow Chrissie Definitely join the club. Go where you are celebrated and great job coming out about it. Congratulations 🎊🎈

[@icomeinpeace3756]

Wow I never watched Kevin Samuels, and made sure to block any recommendations of his videos especially seeing a glimpse of that average at best video. I really didn't even know what was going on on that side of youtube, but to see these were the videos he was putting out @1:49 and this is who all those black male celebrities mourned and who BET honored. This community is so unsafe for black women and quite frankly hates us. Yikes. So glad I make sure not to partake in anything remotely close to the black community in real life.

[@benita8856]

Right?! I was so shocked. I knew he was bad, but not this bad omg😲

[@spiffy197]

I wish I received this message 2-3 years ago when I was in grad school. I had a classmate (white man) who was adamant on taking me out and dating me, but because that would be a new experience for me (Nigerian female) I thought that the culture would be too different and it wouldn’t work out. He was very attractive and pretty successful for his age too. I definitely missed out on that one. SMH

[@Dr.GenXNaturalista]

Yes!! When I was single, I dated the rainbow! I just wanted to meet a man who was worthy of being in my space. I ended up marrying a Black man but I didn’t marry him because I insisted on marrying a Black man. He was the best and gave me the space to be me and continues to give me the space to be me and grow and I do the same for him. We are millionaires now, we chose to have no kids, I’m working on my PhD and am living my dream life. My life isn’t perfect and my marriage isn’t perfect but I am fulfilled and at a place of joy and happiness without compromising any of my principles. All of this to say, yes! Date quality human beings and stay true to yourself and you will attract the type of man who will respect and love you and provide for you no matter his color.

[@Elle-iu7th]

I have dated both white and black men and, I will say I'm more attracted to white men both physically and mentally. I did go to a white dominant high school so I have been exposed to both. But I tried to just date black men in my 20's but quickly realize by the age of 28 that they were not going to value me the way that I wanted to be valued. I have never had any white man ask me about my hair. THEY DONT CARE THAT IS A BLACK MAN ISSUE. I will say I have noticed that white men in the upper middle class do seem to gravitate to fit women. Most of the BS that black women think about white men is BS. I can walk into any space and have many white men flirt with me. TRUST ME they are interested in us. There IS way more white men in america so you will have way more options if you decided you want them.

[@icomeinpeace3756]

I love this PSA Chrissie omg!!!!! Finally one of the BWE content creators actually practicing what they are preaching!!! This is really inspiring and needed.

[@safirahudgins4895]

I binge watch her videos so to hear her finally announce “I exclusively date out” I almost jumped out of my seat 😭 Love it for her 💕

[@Veronique428]

@@safirahudgins4895 Oh my world what an accomplishment‼️ She is dating out ! Only black women in America will jump up to her seat because she heard her KZbinr date out 🙄🙄🙄 I guess I cannot relate‼️🤨

[@Pbbbb]

@@Veronique428 yes and we can’t relate with all of those emojis you used! It makes you look less intelligent..

[@keepmywifesnameoutyomouth6373]

@@Veronique428 It's a big deal because black men have always been the blind spots for African American women.

[@hereforit2347]

@@safirahudgins4895: TRANSLATION: “I hate my gums ‘cause they black.”

[@AlyssaHarrisMusic]

I dated WM hypergamously all through my 20s. When I turned 30, I went through a “I want black love/black babies/ideal black couple” phase when I met my current (well, ex now) boyfriend. My 1st serious relationship w a BM. Good guy, makes pretty good $, but definitely red flags. Long story short he broke up with me because he told me he wants someone who brings more to the table and earns at least 90k a year since he earns 150k. I’m in the arts (professional singer and performer) as well as budding entrepreneur…I’m getting there but not there yet…he wasn’t willing to wait, support or see it through with me . Needless to say I was kinda hurt and offended especially since I DO NOT ask for any $ and am completely financially independent for myself…I don’t want to let this turn me off completely but now that I’m single again… I’m definitely back to expanding my dating options like I was before.

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

I told my wife to quit working so she can go back to school to get her JD. I'm a retired Vet and not "rich" but we have a house and she has a new car and I'm paying for her school.

[@AlyssaHarrisMusic]

@@fmfdocbotl4358 that’s very caring of you!

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

@@AlyssaHarrisMusic we been married 23 yrs. It's what I'm supposed to do as a husband, take care of my wife. She stuck with me through my crazy military times, through several surgeries and deals with my issues from the military. I'm honored to have her.

[@AlyssaHarrisMusic]

@@fmfdocbotl4358 that’s beautiful! I hope to have that one day!

[@AlyssaHarrisMusic]

@@Southern.Nappiness right!! I’ve never experienced that w WM really

[@jessicascreenwritingservices]

Great video as always, Chrissie. Move in silence.

[@incognito3599]

You're beautiful🌺

[@shenyae4143]

I lost my attraction to black men. I also can’t respect anyone who hates themselves or their own women. This applies to the black men who do.

[@Torihappyness]

I'm from Kenya,and men here are obsessed with light skinned women and it's sad.

[@icomeinpeace3756]

I soooooo resonate with the 'Fear of Change' portion!! Certain behaviors or idiosyncracies are only attributied and accepted in the black community and will get you stuck there. Ladies let's level-up from the degeneracy.

[@alexandrasmith7682]

One of my closest friend, by her own admission, was prejudiced to the idea of dating white men because "black stays with black". At the age of 30, she decided to start looking at the man and not the colour. She's a well educated, very attractive, professional woman so no-one was surprised when she started dating the tall good looking merchant banker .... Who was white. However, perhaps it didn't end up the way both she and her family expected. They have now been happily married for eight years and have two lovely children. It took the first baby coming along before her family accepted both him and her marriage. However, she now lives full time in London and has a wonderful relationship with his family.

[@alejo3061]

You have to get out of your comfort zone, and understand that other men of other races also love black women, not all of them are perfect, logically

[@krys1301]

These "proclamations" need to stop. BW should just DO IT. The added attention will just encourage trolls and violence.

[@melimelomm]

First time dating a biracial guy. If this doesn’t work I’m definitely going for yt guys. He’s very different because of his upbringing so I gave it a shot.

[@ivyrainbitch]

How about expanding your options towards all men instead of just going for yt guys.

[@GoaWay...]

I don't know who those people are at 16:05, but they look sooo *GOOD* together. 😻That woman is absolutely *_Gorgeous_* , and her beau is sooo cute. 😊

[@kathyadorno5488]

My $.02 is most black women don't date out because of some sort of fear of being judged, or afraid of family. It was never a question for me. Black Boys, & Men stamped me "Undatable" and "Unattractive" since high school. With that said there was never any fear or hesitation for me. As, most times white men and others would approach me and chat me up, all the time. Let me be clear that I never intended to turn away from black men, but when you are constantly being told "I don't like dark skinned, but you have a nice body" or "my friends think you're too dark for me" , or my favorite "hey you my homegirl, hook me up with your friend". Then I know my future is on the other side of that wall so to speak. Now in my late forties a few pounds heavier (not gonna lie about that), I just simply don't worry about what black men- boys do anymore, it's a waste of energy.

[@Confettifun]

I date outside my race haha ive dated white, Egyptians, latinos, and black(though the only black men I give the time of day are FOB Nigerians because at least they tend to be high earning providers). I dont tell ANY of these men that I prefer non black men. They would neeevvveeerrrr know, because why bring BM into my relationship? 🤢