Recognize Game When You See It Dark Skinned Women - A Social Strategy Lesson | Chrissie After Dark

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

This stream reminds me of your old workplace videos. Professional, introverted BW are always subjected to microaggressions and workplace bullying. They’ll literally get mad at you for protecting your boundaries and getting your work done lol. 😕

[@sylvanaalcidor2010]

I AM EXPERIENCING THIS AT WORK RIGHT NOW!! Ugh! So frustrating!

[@lcxmas8551]

I can relate, even though I don't care but it can be annoying....the people who try you are very pathetic....smh

[@MissNolver2]

Same here ✋🏾😏

[@yx5991]

I remember I told my coworkers to not talk to me unless it’s about work and I got pulled into a room by management saying I was making everyone uncomfortable

[@DarkroomMedia007]

I left my last job for this very reason. It was not YT women but Blk women's hostility and ostracizing that drove me out.

[@coconuttrees]

It has become more important now than EVER to MOVE IN SILENCE black women. Stop telling and talking to people about your preferences or your next move just EMBODY IT AND DO IT . Jealousy and competition is at an all time high even those close to you may oppose . Level up and keep your mouth shut . Love and light ladies ❤️

[@libfuzzy4629]

Yep

[@natashadickson4819]

⭐️

[@Smith888d]

I can spot a biracial with a colourist black father a mile away. They see me, before I see them. I can feel their eyes on me lol. The younger ones are more obvious - they stare - partly fuming/partly hating/partly longing (esp if their hair is a mess lol). The ones with black mums look at me like ❤😊❤ It’s not super multi cultural in my city so it’s so obvious.

[@LunaPaloma77]

Agree, I see them here in Toronto a lot. I can always tell the difference between the ones with wwbm parents and bwwm parents. The ones with black fathers are always giving me dirty looks 😅.

[@ChosenChild-j9i]

They be so jealous. They need help.

[@fatherbewithme]

Its crazy that normally we can tell which ones have Black mothers (that aren't self loathing & don't condone their daughters being colorists towards unambiguous dark skin girls/women) v.s the ones with non black mothers who aren't too fond of mono-racial black females

[@MonicaJNYC]

​@@ChosenChild-j9iwow, and all this time it appeared that dsbw were "jealous" of biracial women...

[@MoriahBatiest-bi6ts]

I’m starting to feel it. I recently pitched an idea to the executive leadership of company I work for. I was in the room shaking hands with the CEO and other leadership, and I can tell it’s bothering people. I’m a dark skinned, plus size woman who’s well spoken and dresses appropriately. But idc because it’s opening doors of opportunity for me and I’m excited! Also, I’m in the process of losing weight so I know it’s going to make people even more upset 😬

[@paf2587]

The weight loss transformation is REAL and it raises the hater radar even more from all women-black and non black women.

[@Abundantcreative]

Congratulations on moving up in your career 👏

[@yvesaintnosaint]

👏👏👏

[@mzprince4139]

As you should be. Good luck sis.

[@brimarie32]

Many are comfortable with the one-dimensional imagery of black womanhood that is promoted. It makes them feel better about themselves. They bash that image but refuse to accept that we come in different facets. I don't argue with those ppl anymore; that's their problem. Not mine.

[@HeyDrJen84]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Preach

[@freetobe1455]

Exactly. And the ones that we represent are a threat because it beckons them to do better.

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

Someone on Tik tok said that they refuse to question their bigotry. They’d rather keep it although confronted with different versions and personalities of us. They hate that we don’t all come in “Seggsy Red”

[@fatherbewithme]

Trust me it's always better to avoid arguing with ppl (who lowkey hate you anyways) learned that sh!t the hard way it's better to ignore em IF you can! Lol that also drives them nuts a lot of times when u don't give em any attention

[@jubs61]

It’s hypergamy or single = EXACTLY !!!!!

[@Goddess_Infinity]

This !!!! I’m scary to say it out loud because you’ll be looked at as a black gold digger . But I don’t care .

[@Stainless009]

Yep

[@yx5991]

AT this point black women need to continue to move this way without trying to explain ourselves. It doesn’t matter what you do, wrong or right, SOMEONE will always have a problem with it and will poke at what they don’t like.

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

Yes! Don’t even explain the moves you make in wisdom especially when it’s “casting your pearls to swine” they won’t understand and try not to

[@yx5991]

⁠@@tiredoftheworld4834BW have been the butt of the joke for so long, and now they can no longer control the narrative of how they wanted the image of BW to be. You can’t say BW are aren’t intelligent when we are the most educated You can’t say BW live off EBT when white women take 1st place in government assistance You can’t say other race of men don’t want black women because #blackwifeeffect shows otherwise(emphasis on the white) You can’t say BW only wear weaves cuz the natural hair movement proved otherwise You can’t say BM aren’t marrying BW when the data shows majority of BM marrying BW (although the internet wants you to believe BM do not choose BW)

[@viperbubbles3358]

Chrissie needs to read audio books or inspirational manifestations audios. Her voice is perfect and so classy and soothing❤

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

Id def buy it… some people are made to be stars. She’s one of them🤷🏾‍♀️

[@truthserum1271]

Maybe she’s already doing it. If so I hope she lets us know!

[@Softsoul.]

Very true. My algorithm is acting funny so whenever I come across those “mixed” channels I block them to let my algorithm know that he/she is a paid actor. We have worked so hard for our voices to be heard so I am not playing

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

There is only one mixed woman’s channel that I listen to and she’s an ally pretty much. The channels centered around “exoticalness” is what I avoid bc they seem to be directed against us 😂

[@davinauche3195]

@@tiredoftheworld4834hmmm

[@dambrosia]

Yup I came across a couple that talk about how they’re so pretty and everyone hates, does talk about level up, however I stopped watching when one said something along the lines of “We gave the unambiguous bw their shine for a decade, we was silent for yall, now it’s time for us to speak up” 🤷🏾‍♀️ chyyy

[@fancybeingawesome]

​@@dambrosiaI went to the comment section thinking I'd find something meaningful but was appalled by the bimbo thinking...oh am pretty ,oh people hate me mentality 😔

[@Andlifeslikethis]

@@dambrosialol the Narcissistic audacity 😂 let them continue to get dogged out by BM

[@ChosenChild-j9i]

Biracial women with the black fathers be hating the most. I just ignore them, because I don’t invite negative energy.

[@Goddess_Infinity]

They act like dark skin BW want to be them . I had a friend who I felt like wanted me to be jealous of her for some strange reason . Things she would say , and how she would act if someone complements me.

[@mynameispeaches]

@@Goddess_Infinitywhat I find funny is that they are quick to accuse a DSBW of being jealous. But they never accuse their other half race of being jealous when that race doesn’t claim them. It’s only us.

[@JUDIW-q1m]

Very weird 🙃

[@mahalaishealingconstantly]

I remember I was walking in the mall with my 2 sisters, and I had on a basic outfit. Black jeans, navy blue sweater, and tennis shoes. My hair is a TWA as well. I am 19 years old and a healthy weight, and dark skinned. I remember having the mindset of “there’s no way other races are jealous of me” but that isn’t true. White women kept looking at me up and down, giving me the dirtiest look. I was also getting the hair flip thing they do to flex on us about not having their hair, or something 😂😂. They do little snide and slick things like that because they’re jealous and lowkey competing with us. I had to wake up and realize. We are capable of being envied!

[@shaniceyvette9792]

The hair flips.😂 They do this all the time! That’s the one defense they use the most because they think black girls don’t have good or long hair. I have long hair and I make sure to swing and flip every chance I get, esp when they start flipping and swinging their hair around me thinking I’m wearing weave. 💁🏽‍♀️

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

Yes!!! I went to a predominantly yt and Asian school. Never look down on yourself! It’s done for a reason

[@KushQueen9]

Oh trust me white women get extremely jealous when they see a stunning dark skin woman, it's hilarious😂😂

[@PrincessYonna1]

We don’t even have to do all that 😂 just wear an afro and all attention will be on us😂

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

@@PrincessYonna1 that reminds me. I went to a David’s Bridal to try on prom dresses and all the blk ladies looked at me with admiration and the ww were staring (don’t know what they were thinking tho), but I definitely caught attention all through the mall we went to after. My dad complemented by Afro but my mom didn’t want me to wear it out

[@queenbeemoon10]

I'm married to Asian man. I get hate everywhere yet I feel like I gave love to everyone at least try to. They get really mad when you married someone they don't expect BW to get with.

[@Jwa-fo6nb]

❤❤❤❤

[@tresarichardson7062]

Thank you for this. You are so right! Im so tired of misrepresentation of BW period. Just look at movies, they always cast a overweight DSBW. In the 90s, you would always see beautiful classy women like robin givens and holly robinson in movies. Now they have changed it to promoting Lizzos and sexy reds. I refuse to let it dictate my self image. I love getting my silk press blowouts and watch all the WW ask is that my real natural hair. They be turning red in the face as soon as I say yes. When they see other races of men try to hit on me, they stare with a twisted up face. A WM complimented my shape and asked do i work out. A WW heard it and dropped her phone and couldn't keep her composure. I love making them mad. Wake up Ladies!! Its 2024 and BW are needed, wanted, and in Demand!! 🖤🖤🖤

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

Sis I don’t do ir dating for a few reasons but when I was dating this white entrepreneur who was fineeeeeee af. The white women were all types of mad and confused. They really don’t expect people to be interested in us tbh.

[@M3l155a]

Classic projection: when someone is telling you not to do something, it’s because they’re doing it.

[@hannah60000]

Yes, or they are not/cannot do it, so they do not want you to go and do what they will not!

[@fatherbewithme]

👏👏

[@MsLotusBlooms]

Also,men who tell you other men will mistreat you is a way they cover up their own intentions for you.

[@misskim237]

Chrissie you thought me a lot about myself and my life as a dark skin girl; I always noticed colorism but I never had a word for it. Thank God I found you before facing my dark skin daughter cuz the first thing the nurses commented on when I birthed her was her skin color. You prepared me for that day I swear and I can only imagine how the uneducated women who go thru this same thing feel in the moment and how it affects their relationships with their babies. Imagine suffering from internalized colourism and that the first thing someone says about ur beautiful new born child. I mean immediately the baby comes out of you and u but even cleaned up yet.

[@misskim237]

Before having***

[@Carpathianpixie]

Damn, I'm so sorry.

[@sabri1913]

Wow that’s harsh that why you have to have a heart of a lioness as a blank woman frfr

[@joyandbeauty2024]

@@misskim237 that’s awful I’m sorry u went through that. That’s why it’s might be best to make sure ur in a white establishment with an all white staff and if ur family is colorist don’t even have them around after u give birth

[@__Selena__]

Heavy on gatekeeping your phenotype. There is nothing wrong with prioritizing your features and even finding them the most attractive. That is literally the point. Everybody else does it, tf 😂

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

Love this live! The competition is real. I’m not naturally competitive and super jealous but when you realize many other people are especially since they can’t easily replicate your image, the game is on. Even when you don’t want to play it

[@naomikissedme]

This is so true. I’ve never been a naturally competitive person but over the last 4 years I’ve seen how aggressively competitive people are in literally everything and it’s been a growing pain for me. Especially since they would pretend to like me and I wouldn’t even realize that they were competing with me and just trying to gauge their progress against my success. Things would always go sour when I would happen to go further than them😐 why can’t people just focus on themselves???

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

I was thinking that in my head they bank on dark skinned women being insecure to place certain people on a pedestal to boost their self esteem and black men don’t want to address it and just want to sweep it under the rug.

[@bluphirre]

Everything verbatim is on point👏🏾. I have cycled as a hobby for 20 years and have been teaching for fun for almost 4 years, none of my recent so called “friends” come to my classes but go to other boot camp classes (that are much harder and have caused two of them injuries 🙄). But the cross fit/boot camp style classes are taught by women of their likeness (if get my drift 😏). The only black woman who consistently came to my classes has lost over 25 lbs and ran her second half marathon last month 🙌🏾👊🏾. One of these acquaintances didn’t even know who massimo dutti was until she saw me buy a cardigan there and then was posting on her socials a few weeks later her ootd wearing said designer 🤣. I never thought I was worthy of being envied as I thought I was surrounding myself with like minded women. BUT take heed! They are jealous ladies! They are watching what we do. Their husbands are also watching 😂. Keep going, be the walking example of dark skinned female femininity. ❤💁🏾‍♀️

[@paf2587]

Absolutely their husbands take notice.

[@prtdiva]

If that’s you in your profile photo you are absolutely gorgeous and I see why they’re mad 🤭💅🏾

[@Carpathianpixie]

I'm sorry your "friends" are shady and I hope you find better friends and grow your village. That being said, I really hate cycling, it hurts! It's definitely not for everyone but to be fair, I wouldn't be going to those CrossFit/ bootcamp classes either😩. My point is, as long as your people support you in different ways, it's worth cultivating a relationship with them.

[@godivainc4593]

The CrossFit classes are taught by fat women ?

[@ritamccain7064]

@@paf2587 Yas, its so funny. Those women hide their men from us or sneak them in/out when we're not around. This is what is happening to me as of now in my neighborhood! Some even moved out because their men couldn't stop staring at me lol. I promise you I am innocent and never spoke a word to the men.

[@freetobe1455]

Wow. This was really good. I am married to a white man and the FIRST thing black women will comment on my page when they disagree is… oh you married the enemy. Thank you for reminding us that this jealousy. STUNT ON THEM

[@anikasmith8361]

People think the concept of a dark-skinned woman inspiring jealousy is strange but as a dark-skinned woman who moves in corporate and exclusive social circles, yes, it does happen. I will admit it took time for me to realise it. I got used to being the "token" in the room. At the start of my carreer in finance, I was often the one chosen to kill two birds with one stone in representing diversity. The black woman on the team with a bunch of white males. I was safe and not expected to make too many waves. Starting out, you passively fit the bill till one day you decide not to when personal progress becomes a focus. By then I was in a perfect position to make that mental switch cause of course I had overcompensated/overachieved in my work. There is real power in recognizing the value you hold professionally. I didn't even try "playing cute" cause there were enough white/preference types doing that. Today I see SO many black women reaping the benefits of highlighting their intelligence first, THEN burst out the shine/swag. Play the long game sisters, that's REAL chess playing.

[@MagnoliaSunrise]

Everything you have said here is true. As a traditionally feminine, well-off, conventionally attractive black woman I can testify how *other* women were supportive of me when I became overweight. Oh and married to a white man too. Now that the weight is coming off, things are changing. And the gaslighting! “You’ve changed! You’re not as nice (read: non-threatening) as you used to be.” Yeah… Stay hip to the game, ladies.

[@naomikissedme]

They want you doing good but never better than them

[@Imaabe]

Also some game for black women leveling up. I tend to avoid certain people who give weight loss advice. Tbh, argue if you want to but white women intentionally give bad weight loss advice in order to prevent other women from losing weight. There is currency in being fit, and they want to monopolize it. They will tell you that you can eat donuts daily and lay around. Meanwhile they are eating salads and working out an hour a day. My rule is to avoid white girl weight loss tips. Also avoid their exercise routines if you don’t like it. They act like you have to lift 700 lbs a day and bulk in order to lose weight. Make it easy for yourself. I workout daily at home, and I do low impact Pilates. Just some extra tips for y’all

[@HerLovexLife]

My military coworker was a half white half Puerto Rican girl. She literally told me she’s “competing with me”and she’s “winning”. Literally said that word for word. Next day I proceeded to do a different hairstyle that day because since I’m military, we kinda wear the same style most of the time. I got nice compliments from others. She had noticed and than next day she does a completely new hairstyle. They always compete.😂

[@prettynpetty8342]

I have gotten more dirty looks being dolled up than I have looking like absolute trash from women. Eastern European women say it's a compliment and I'm 100% seeing it that way. It's because I'm signaling that I'm competing. This is what happens when you enter the dating arena as a black woman. It's unexpected and unwelcome, especially if you know how to turn a look. You are absolutely a threat just by being exotic. At this point, exotic is good. It's a pull. My parent's raised me in a lifestyle where I wanted for nothing. I NEVER had to struggle. Of course I currently work for what I have but it would be a slap in the face to them to be with a man with his hand constantly out. It's all to honor them and my ancestors that I pick a man who not only take care of me but also see me thrive. It's a spiritual debt I must pay. I must choose wisely. "Hypergamy or Nothing" all the way.

[@vanillavania.]

I see truth in the first paragraph, for sure. The way you phrased the second paragraph though! Love it!!🥰

[@larissalaflore7202]

What do you think about people's fascination with Caitlyn Clark! Even Gayle King got some flack for saying she had been rooting for Caitlyn in an interview with Coach Staley.. Seems to me Caitlyn is being credited as being the best thing to happen for women's basketball. She's many fans and has become like a famous celebrity.

[@vanillavania.]

@@larissalaflore7202 I think it’s another thing for people of a certain race to rally around-or rally cry about (because they can get loud, raunchy, and out of hand too).

[@joyandbeauty2024]

@@vanillavania. I don’t know much about the wnba I don’t follow pro sport for males or females but I’m rooting for Angel Reese I don’t know much about her but from what I’ve seen I like her

[@moniquew3603]

My friend and I were talking about this the other day. Media always shows the overweight, short hair, or bald head black women. Im honestly so sick of it because it's not an accurate representation. I just want to see variety. BUT I get it, other women stay threatened when they see a sexy(smart, fit, and well-spoken) black woman.

[@coloursof-autumn8650]

Don’t forget them being feisty.

[@KinkyHairDontCare2025]

Black women have to be individual public relations firms (Generating media coverage that creates a favorable public image), like the success of the Black Wife Effect videos. This is one of the reasons I’m looking forward to seeing the beauty and athleticism of Black women in the 2024 Summer Olympics!🇺🇸

[@Ladyfaithke]

in 2024 we still see more black men representation in block buster movies than BW,BW promotion improves value and access to better opportunities.

[@AlliterativeAtheist]

Of course ! Who will play the gangsters, robbers, felons, bad guys?

[@Teexytee777]

can someone spill the tea, is this a response to the "exotical" community. The algorithim brought me over there and the talking points are just.... off putting. they truly feel attacked when BW what to be represented in a feminine light. They really want us to look haggard. It makes them feel good.

[@ChrissiesWay]

Yep. This is responding to a lot of the manipulation and game they’re trying to run on dark skinned black women now that we’re leveling up. I’m glad you see through the BS.

[@bibaolaitan5189]

Chrissie, you will always be more realistic, thats why your message will always be important.

[@Besafe782]

I learn everybody is playing the game unfair and we have been trying to follow the rules to said game not understand everyone else is just pretending to follow the rules!!! Bw we are in a very unique position in this game and if we play the card how they are dealt to us a little differently we can actually enjoy the game

[@bjoshawty]

Yesss. Chrissie always on point. There has been a shift with black women and we are definitely “catching up and catching on.” Keep gaining knowledge and applying what you learn ladies. 👏🏾💕

[@beautyburden]

Jealousy of dark skin women is REAL but people gaslight by acting as though attributes like being darkskin, being non ambiguous or having 4c hair aren't desirable.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

What I meant by my suprchat was that when their channel pops up, I notice bw are the focus, especiallyin the commnts. They leave non bw, especially ww alone because they see us as competition, even though ww can be brutal to these mxd women. I've seen it.

[@ChrissiesWay]

Yea I completely misread your superchat, my bad. I’ll be addressing this in another video though. Thanks for your feedback🌹

[@SunseedStarchild]

THIS is the main reason I don't mess with their channels like that - all smoke for BW, none for anyone else.

[@carolinegardner8214]

The algorithm now knows I only listen to DSBW in US, Europe, the Caribbean and Africa. I’m nit giving attention to anybody else except WM that do camping videos, because I like that.

[@bibaolaitan5189]

This!!!..

[@sabri1913]

Exactly, white woken ignore me but will be so mean to mixed women esp here where I live. It’s funny to watch. 😅

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

There are people who I noticed are def obsessed with you🥴. Im only a couple of minutes in but the obsession is real. I think that you are so eloquently spoken and have such a large influence that it’s off putting for them. I don’t think it’s that they are jealous of dark skinned women per se. I think it’s a feeling of losing control and a rise of confidence in dark skinned women and they don’t like it.They want black women to continue to feel self loathing although they won’t admit it. You might see a couple of comments from me. You are by far in my top 3 favorite KZbinrs btw ❤❤❤❤❤

[@Ricoque-u2m]

That need from them is 100% jealousy or they would not care!!

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

@@Ricoque-u2m you might be right🤔

[@coloursof-autumn8650]

You’re right. Some people need others to be at the bottom to make themselves secure. It’s not really security at all if your confidence is depended on others feeling bad about themselves but I digress.

[@Ricoque-u2m]

@@coloursof-autumn8650 the Eagle 🦅 in the sky is not worried about the Panther 🐆on the ground. If straight hair and white skin was really so superior there wouldn’t be this consistent need for a trillion dollar media campaign machine in place in advertising, sitcoms, movies, music, books, pictures specifically to make fully black girlies (daughter’s of Eve) feel bad about their hair and skin. There’s nothing wrong with being fully black and having 4c hair. And why is a supposed Eagle buzzing around a Panther on land (policing our hair choices) instead of focusing on the enjoyment of being able to fly so high.

[@coloursof-autumn8650]

@@Ricoque-u2m Agreed!

[@justagirl7840]

Thank you Chrissie. Out of all the self-improvement content, it is you that I watch. Because what you say resonates so deeply. The other mumbo-jumbo is so easy to put to the side.

[@bibaolaitan5189]

She is also the most realistic.

[@prettyqueen573]

As a follow up to the commemtary on mixed race women with mothers who are WW vs. BW, I've noticed that mixed race women who come from WW/BM combo usually tend to date BM (because their fathers are BM) and mixed-race women who come from the BW/WM combo tend to date WM or other non-BM because of who their father is and the different standards they were raised with. That's exactly why the conversations mixed raced women have are so polar opposite on topics of colorism, dating, BM, the black community, etc.

[@Ms.FelisCatus]

I can't believe I missed such an AMAZING livestream! I was at work. 😭 Out of all the topics that you discuss, Chrissie, the "strategy/competition" topic is my favorite. I'm at a point in my level up journey where I'm really only interested in solutions and results as it pertains to BW leveling up and improving our reputation and image. Thank you so much for making this because the girls need to be aware of the strategies that manipulators will use against us as we socially climb. Ignore the haters, ladies, and keep doing your thing! 🥰💐❤

[@taliajournee212]

An example of being conventionally attractive for ww: Taylor Swift...she is not ugly but is relatable to the general ww public. I also think this is a large part of her success. If she looked more like, Jessica Alba or Margot Robbie her success might not be as large because most ww do not look like that.

[@keke41900]

Girl this is the one!!!

[@Goddess_Infinity]

Yooooo this !!!!!!!!!! She’s a regular conventionally attractive WW . They can’t relate to Margot Robbie or Madison Beer or Meagan Fox because the majority of them do not look like them what’s so every .

[@Goddess_Infinity]

Yooooo this !!!!!!!!!! She’s a regular conventionally attractive WW . They can’t relate to Margot Robbie or Madison Beer or Meagan Fox because the majority of them do not look like them what’s so every .

[@joyandbeauty2024]

⁠@@Goddess_Infinity I agree but I also think that Margo Robbie is so successful because ww also support her as well, they’ll support the most gorgeous versions of themselves even if most of them don’t look like that

[@KNt820]

Yup!

[@ChosenChild-j9i]

May God please protect Chrissie and all of us.

[@QuintessenceLuminescence]

Goddess has, does, and will always Be the Fortress for her kindred and likeness.

[@ChosenChild-j9i]

@@QuintessenceLuminescenceAmen 🙏🏾

[@Forflower33]

I'm the same colour as Ryan Destiny. Even though I'm married I do get male valuations however I have a beautiful cousin who is the same colour as Lupita and I'm telling you this woman breaks peoples necks when she walks past 😂😂. I wish I had her skin with the rose yet blue hue ❤❤❤❤

[@Goddess_Infinity]

They fail to remember that beauty comes in all color but on a dark skin woman it hit’s different. Like Anok Yai , I would sell like Liver to look like her 😂😂. I’m constantly rewatching her Met Gala videos , just mesmerized by her . Like it’s not fair , she’s tall skinny , her facial features are out of this world , they way she walks , her lips . I’m a little obsessed . 😩😩😩

[@joyandbeauty2024]

@@Goddess_Infinity​​⁠ Anok is gorgeous but bw don’t have to look like her to be breathtakingly beautiful. Especially west African descendant bw we don’t tend to be tall and skinny we tend to be very shapely with wide hips, big butt, thick thighs and small waist and that’s gorgeous and the sexiest body type. And we also don’t have to have Anok’ s facial features to be beautiful most west African descendant women don’t look like her and it’s problematic if the only dsbw pushed as gorgeous are the ones that look like Anok

[@libfuzzy4629]

Anok and adut are on another level of beauty. Out of this world beautiful

[@AJ-fl3pz]

@@joyandbeauty2024 what a weird comment. All they did was mention was pretty and admire her beauty, no one said anything about her needing to be a beauty standard or even mentioned West African women/those who descend from there. Someone definitely feels a way about East African Women 😑

[@joyandbeauty2024]

@@AJ-fl3pz I explained how I feel about it in my original comment. I’m not East African I’m African American, I have no issue with East African women but they shouldn’t become the only standard of what is considered a beautiful dsbw it’s problematic because most African American bw don’t look like them because we have a different genetic makeup. Representation and promotion of our specific phenotype is important and has been discussed numerous times on this channel. I notice the dsbw they tend to push in the media often look nothing like what the typical unambiguous African American dsbw looks like. They either push mixed or African dsbw. And even though I do love those women and I still enjoy them representing dsbw I do still want representation that looks like my phenotype, I’m entitled to feel that way the same as everyone else. I’m tired of only certain phenotypes on dsbw being hyped it’s really no different than ls & mixed women being hyped it’s just another unattainable beauty standard. Meanwhile other races of women get to have variety. African American dsbw are just as gorgeous as African dsbw so we should have a lot of beauty representation in the media as well.

[@MsNG82]

There are some haters recently cause of the Black Wife Effect trend. DSBW are not seen in a positive light so the fact that non black men have givens props to their black wives/gfs showing their love in a positive way is rubbing some the wrong way. Black women are supposed to be undesired and useless. This proves the opposite.

[@chocolaterini17]

Hey Chrissie I have been starting to fall off and feeling down about my self. One video from you and I am motivated to go back to the gym and look better for myself. I am going to subscribe to ur lifestyle channel. I feel o need constant motivation.

[@Blossom1232]

Its true. Told an excoworker I was quitting and going to nursing school and this other bitter black lady butt in our conversation telling me not to do it🥴. Like girl you don’t know that im aiming for crna position, telling me not to do it

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Please do it. You can! You will❤

[@rapudocreative]

Move in silence

[@Blossom1232]

​@@sweetpeaj1952 oh I did it! I'm in my 2nd semester. Thank you!😁

[@sweetpeaj1952]

@@Blossom1232 nice 🎉

[@pockysticks788]

Trust me I’m keeping notes on these exotically channels. And I’m peeping the jealousy gaslighting game 100%.

[@vernoniqueomosanya8931]

Another gem of a video Chrissie what you said about how people are trying to undermined our progress spot on!We need to stop explaining ourselves as dark skinned women and asking for permission to love ourselves excellent video sis❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@tylovesmakeup]

i made it to the comment section 1st!

[@paulagrooveparlortvharris8703]

Thank you Chrissie for all of your work!

[@tiffanycotter9675]

Nice to see you on KZbin. Thank you

[@6renaa]

Thank you Chrissie for your video and i wanted to add some points : - when black women ask for more representation they on purpose put mixed women already favorised by colorism or put a dark woman not at her best at all (put together according to the feminine lense) and with no feminine behaviors so we have what we ask for but not exactly + give reasons to other races to assume everytime there will be diversity, either parody will be served and still invisibility for dark skin women anyway - In the fashion industry as well they actually promote beautiful african dark skinned women YES BUT without hair (one of the primary sign of feminity) , and black women looking like they come from a third world country in their behaviors (not that it is wrong but they don’t want anybody that have access or interest for elite fashion industry to RELATE to it. It had to look so exotic that in the real world you wouldn’t think to be like OR have love interest for someone so foreign)

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

They literally make ALL blk women in luxury advertisements BALD. Never have I seen an Afro, like the typical ones we grow naturally from our heads. I never see them make other models of different demographics completely bald as women. They want African women to look as otherworldly as possible and androgynous next to a very feminine standard ww

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

Also the whole “no hair” thing stems back from slavery bc some slavers would cut off all the blk slaves hair… in Africa most tribes kept their hair and it signified status (marriage, wealth, work, etc) and was sacred. I find it really interesting how I’ll never see braids on a blk model’s head in a luxury commercial

[@joyandbeauty2024]

Oml yesss I’ve thought these exact same things about the promotion they purposefully never show us all the way right, we’re either dulled down and less feminine and they purposely show okay looking women while showing above average non black or mixed women, or if we do look good in a movie oftentimes we’re written to be masculine, mammyish, or overly s3xual. And with the modeling industry I’m so sick of seeing the models have no hair it’s almost like they make them sign a contract to keep their hair short, I really do think they make them do that or only choose black models that have little to no hair on purpose, nothing else makes sense at this point. And I’ve also thought that the models always being African was intentional and I’ve in recent years wanted to see more unambiguous ds African American models, because by only having African models it sends the message that bw are only gorgeous if they’re straight African from an “exotic” African country.

[@NicoleXO1111]

The “victim mentality” exists BECAUSE people are victims. So the next time someone accuses you of having a victim mentality, you should redirect their “concern” toward those with victimizer mentalities 🤷🏻‍♀️.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

It's total gaslighting💯

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

Thank YOU!! This is why when someone said “you blks are acting like victims” I said “you’re constantly playing the part of the perpetrator” 🤢

[@jalenwalker9100]

A oldie but a goodie video. Example of putting you in your place, The All body deodorant commercial that starts with L and end with e . BW first face, stating her body stinks in more than one place.😮

[@michellewhitfield5667]

My first thought upon seeing that commercial was "who raised that girl?" I'm still in shock. My group of dsbw's were not raised to talk about smelling bad, we were just raised to wash.

[@thatgirlkells5505]

Thought I was the only one who found that commercial off putting!!!!

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

No other race would say that about themselves 🥲

[@joyandbeauty2024]

This is similar to the Secret deodorant ad I’ve been constantly seeing when watching KZbin with the overweight dsbw up there saying “wanna know a secret more than just my armpits stink” I hate that ad and skip it every time I see it.

[@KNt820]

THIS! I freaking HATE that commercial. They always put us in BS like that.

[@shes.a.sweetie98]

Your intuition is on point 💫 Ty for posting!

[@shes.a.sweetie98]

I was thinking this today! Word for word. My goal is to be real life corrective promotion for dark skin black women with locs!

[@sg-cg6lr]

Chrissie, thanks for sharing. Ive had women of all (light) shades tell me how much I intimidate them. In a group of many different shades, when going out, men end up trying to speak with me more often. I grew up thinking it was a vibe thing. But im learning more and more that it IS about looks.

[@nyaholorunda7167]

Thank you Chrissie xx

[@shopwithleslie]

I like the idea of receipts. I like to know who I am REALLY watching, and more importantly supporting by watching the ads, etc.

[@girlnuhuh]

40:22 it’s true, I’ve stepped up my femininity at work and being attacked by dusties because I don’t fawn over them or make myself available to them. I’m cordial only and they are malfunctioning.

[@smith6777]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Forflower33]

This feels like Chrissie's thank you for your support I am giving you my final support and advice to help DSBW ❤thank you. We appreciate you

[@paf2587]

Asians be having that low key good promotion for real.

[@joyandbeauty2024]

Yep they have great promotion

[@QuintessenceLuminescence]

Gracefully blaze on DSBW...may your path be brighter still, may your path be always illuminated for your ease of Being

[@tonineal3008]

FACTS..... 💯

[@aishakhan571]

Thanks Chrissie ❤

[@thefm9465]

Missed this content !

[@chanyt2364]

You have done a great job with us moving in silence Chrissie and the results are showing in the collective but shorts may cause your page to be gatecrashed and shown in an unattractive maner or mocked for being race driven.Just my two cents I know you will do you 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@bibaolaitan5189]

This!!!, cos shorts dont give the full picture of what she is saying. So she may be demonised. For moving in silence, this is a better format

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Agree, plus it may not reach the right audiences

[@Prettyinpurpose101]

👑💕 yes queen !

[@levelupgoddess9289]

This was such a FANTASTIC video that I listened to it twice in the last three days. I agree with everything u said. MOST white women and black males ARE jealous of Black Women and they are competing with us Black Women. They want to do as I say not as I do situations for Black Women. Decentering males should be for u and putting u first. U can definitely decenter males and still want a partner if that’s what y choose. And yes I noticed that as soon as Black Women started choosing better then all of a sudden ppl are on the stat single bandwagon. Be single or not be single. Do what works for u.

[@bibaolaitan5189]

This is my 4th listen. So well done and realistic as ever

[@Saveren_]

So Chrissy, what you’re saying is we need to gatekeep our image ?! Got it.

[@ChrissiesWay]

Yes, I’ve been saying this for years at this point lol.

[@Saveren_]

@@ChrissiesWay say no more.

[@katrinaroc5491]

It’s crazy how we can see the same points you’re talking about in real time. I remember there was a huge discussion on Twitter about how we’re sick of seeing dark skin black women being portrayed as fat, not conventionally attractive, part of the lgbtq, and get no romantic interest. Tell me why all types of women joined in with other Black women saying it’s weird that we only accept one type of looking Black and we need to stop expecting people to look Eurocentric. It finally clicked for me like these people are jealous. Why would you encourage a race to not show case the best of them? 😂

[@mihlaliralarala3340]

Thank you so much Chrissie for the live. Can't wait for the shorts 💅🏾❤

[@bibaolaitan5189]

Me too. Chrissie you don't really do shorts. Please do that..❤❤❤

[@meijie9171]

I went from short to bra strap lenght ,and i stopped using wigs,i used to watch chrissie while doing my hair ❤,she helped me alot to acept my hair...stop cosplaying non-black women with all that crazy looking wigs , use extensions similar to your type of hair❤❤❤,your natural hair is your pretty privlege ❤period ❤ Sorry guys english is not my first language , i don't have money to buy a course ,so im learning on my own ❤

[@bibaolaitan5189]

Lol, what your English is perfect

[@meijie9171]

@@bibaolaitan5189oh thank you🥰🥰💗💗💖

[@JUDIW-q1m]

That’s okay sis! 😂 It was totally readable. So happy she was able to help you. She’s helped me a lot too. 🥹💁🏾‍♀️

[@TikaRose222]

Great Live Chrissie ❤❤ Also everyone's mother isn't a narcissist, mother's whom teach their daughter's self-love, have the ability to always put themselves first; when people are in the presence of real confidence " Internal Beauty " they are confused even baffled by the love you can create for yourself naturally...

[@coloursof-autumn8650]

Chrissie you’re right about other groups promoting above average looking women ( and men) in their groups and had this conversation with my husband. Movies, adverts are not realistic. Just go outside and tell me how many Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, Margot Robbie you see. The average WW and WM is also overweight and average looking but people put their best foot forward. They love the fat black women trope though especially next to a skinny beautiful white woman. It’s strategic and people internalise it. I watched a movie with Sandra Bullock called the lost city. It has a feisty overweight black women (don’t come for me because I know you all love the actress) and I just didn’t like the optics, even my husband commented on it. At least this time she was glamorous but she still played that fat BW coming to save a dainty WW . American movies are the worst at this. I now much prefer the UK series because the Black women are represented ok-ish, 60% of the time😂😂. Been seeing some really beautiful dark skinned actresses on BBC i player recently.

[@larissalaflore7202]

Issues for black women period. It's frequently made clear that the overweight or sometimes thin black woman is no threat to the white woman leading lady. The race of the single available man character doesn't' matter. It can be a black man. I've seen several shows or movies where neither the current wife or ex wife of a black male character is a black woman. She's either latino or white. Sometimes jokes or clap backs are made about the overweight black character by the white women characters. Feminine presenting black males are now often being cast as the best friend/confidant role black women actresses used to play. These sassy characters get romantic attention from attractive male characters. Taylor Swift and Caitlyn Clark are like American sweethearts. Caitlyn has been labeled the best thing to happen for women's basketball. There are no black or biracial actresses with a long list of big budget romantic comedies from anywhere. That includes Halle Berry who has played several struggling woman roles. Even Jennifer Lopez along with several white actresses have played leading lady to multiple A list male movie stars.. Thandie Newton apologized for taking black women roles and has talked about the shortage of roles for women of color in England because there is not much for them in period movies

[@joyandbeauty2024]

⁠@@larissalaflore7202 yess this is so true they purposely cast bw especially the dsbw as the funny and/or fat mammyish sidekick to either a non bw, a mixed woman, or lighter skinned bw. I’d actually much rather fem bm take the roles or the sassy side kick but it’s interesting that they’re shown to have more male attention from good looking men than bw and I think that’s because wp don’t see bm as a threat whether they be straight & masculine or fem… but it’s our beauty that’s seen as a threat to the status quo and I think this is because men are collectively judged by their status/money/power in society more than their looks but for women we’re judged for our looks & femininity the most, so bm being promoted as desirable isn’t a threat to wm & their power BUT bw being shown as beautiful, feminine, and desirable is a real threat to the beauty hierarchy bcus it doesn’t take much time for promotion in the media to start influencing people’s perceptions of demographics of people. Wp stay pushing the most mediocre ww, they don’t have to do much to earn it they just get pushed simply when wm decide they wanna saturate the media. For instance I think Taylor swift is only being pushed so much now because wp no longer wanted Beyoncé to be the biggest A list mega star so they pushed Taylor swift so she could outshine her. Same thing with the wnba I don’t keep up with pro sports but I know that bp have always dominated sports and I kno that Angel Reese was getting a lot of attention like last year and wp decided they want ww to now be the face of certain things and get the most attention so that’s why the powers that be are literally pushing and paying for certain ww to be seen and praised throughout the media out of the blue.

[@joyandbeauty2024]

⁠@@larissalaflore7202 I’ve also noticed how even Halle has had a lot of struggle roles and her career isn’t as good as other ww actresses like Julia Roberts, Nicole Kidman, Gwyneth paltrow, Charlize Theron and many others. For whatever reason JLo and a few other white-ish Latinas have had great acting careers. I was literally watching a clip of Jlo recently and was reminded of how much money she’s worth I think she’s worth like 400m which is crazy because where did all that money come from she’s not that great of an actress or singer and both her acting and singing career have been decent but nothing extraordinary. I think certain Latinas have had the success they have due to their proximity to whiteness and wm desiring them like they desire mixed half bw. Wm desire dsbw too but still like to promote women that are close to ww, and think it’s because the white standard of beauty is one of the things that keeps wm and whiteness on top of the racial hierarchy so it’s about power for them. Thandie just wanted attention when she came out and said that about bw, lol bcus has she even had a very successful career. It was so disingenuous like lady ur not sorry for taking any roles from bw, she just wanted to mock us & throw it in our face

[@larissalaflore7202]

@@joyandbeauty2024 You might be right about Thandie seeking attention. She's had a decent career but she's not in the top of high paying movie star actresses. She's not close to the money making or big budget leading lady level of actresses such as Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansen, Nicole Kidman, Margot Robbie and others. She probably wouldn't mind having a series of movies where she's the main star. Taking on roles of black women characters helps to keep Thandie busy.

[@theeladyj]

So true , i noticed this as well. Whites put the best of the best in front

[@Teexytee777]

Thanks for putting us on game

[@melliesweets70]

THIS! very true. My sister in law is notorious for this behaviour she’s WW and my brother just sits there . SMDH.

[@AfriPrincess411]

What does she do?

[@smith6777]

They use bm to pull some fake flex and the Becky's end up suffering lmao. I luv that for them.

[@Ninab-adam]

Thanks for speaking up 👌🏾

[@najjee2]

We Gorgeous black skimmed women will prevail we always have, even amidst of Black men nit preferring us, we still win, ladies no turning back we won't let anyone tell us who we are or what we can do

[@rapudocreative]

We like and share all the shorts...it will be easier to spread the word

[@lowkey3047]

Amazing live; especially starting at 1:03:00, ladies replay as many times as you need to until you get it.

[@CulturalMisfitt]

So appreciative of the knowledge you drop. It’s so needed.

[@lilfulldog27]

Honestly this is why I gatekeep you Chrissie, I love you and I want to protect you! You are so awesome! U GET IT!! Don’t get me wrong though. I pray every little black girl comes across your channel.

[@lilfulldog27]

Wow I just got to the part where someone said you heal there childhood black girl trauma. So true!!! That’s why I said I hope every little black girl comes across your channel! That’s just Gods’ Affirmation to me that your work is Valid!!!

[@TheAmelioratedWoman420]

I don't engage in those channels as a racially unambiguous, mono-racial black American woman because I don't have the time or energy to focus on another group of women. My way of life is about uplifting my individual ethnic imagery and representation. 💙

[@kimmierichelle6056]

This Live was everything!!!! Thank you so much Chrissie for your time and effort in keeping us DSBW on point. We love you girl🫶🏾

[@pscih7149]

Preaching in this live stream.

[@AbiaSaloise]

Keep doing what you are doing Chrissie, you are doing God's work for DS women.

[@ummzahra9196]

The hate is real…. 😪

[@CiaoColeG]

I can only speak for myself, but as a mixed woman with a black dad, I thought the black wife effect was adorable. I showed it to my mom too. I guess she raised me right. The only twinge I did feel is that I have little swag, so if I marry a dorky white guy he'll stay a dorky white guy. I think I could help with the haircut though 😂 Even though Chrissie videos aren't for me I appreciate the underlying strategy which can be applied to everyone.

[@JUDIW-q1m]

Love this girl! I love our allies. It helps a lot. ❤

[@Marieruth333]

There is too much information about the intime thought on internet. I wish to see in 2025 more women leave social media.

[@OaklandRed]

I don’t know why people keep playing with Chrissie like they don’t know that she always has official receipts. 🙄

[@TIAOFNEBULA]

Chrissie please bring back the darkskin content!

[@FairEbony]

Her dark skinned content is still on her patreon. You just have to join her patron.

[@hadiza1]

💙💙💙

[@Truthbetold322]

You’ve just summed up every video you’ve ever made in this one video. 🎉❤

[@Lucy11_11]

The bottom is the base and the base must STAY in place. Yup. Love this - sums up years of your amazing content, Chrissy 🥳🙏🏾🤸🏿‍♀️😘

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

Can you list some of these dark skinned channels so that we can subscribe and support?

[@ChrissiesWay]

The only newer channel that I cosign thus far is Barbie Life 2.0. The others I’ve come across have thrown me under the bus, are seeking colorist approval or have a message I feel is harmful and/or regressive to DSBW so I will not be promoting them. I only know of a few so I can’t speak for all that may exist.

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

I’m already subscribed to her ❤

[@Joy-fr4ll]

feminine universe.

[@sista835]

feminine universe, you won't go wrong

[@ThePrettyArcher]

While shorts are good they can ACTUALLY mess up your channel. Reason why is because those are two completely different audiences. The "shorts" people will quickly turn off your regular long form content and ruin your numbers

[@nicolebrown5987]

I’m gonna use your subscription to rebuild my credit!!!! I can only afford to spend 8% of my credit limit

[@Royalty__xx]

I saved this video for my Sunday sermon. 😂❤

[@mrsp5808]

Tell 'em Chrissie🥰🥰

[@weiwong7088]

Yes

[@herabsolute]

Hey Chrissie

[@kenjerkenjer9576]

Haha you are speaking gemz my sista I am learning alot thank you but I can't stop laughing about the part of black men being proud hypocrites 😂😂😂😂

[@NikkiO2000]

I absolutely believe people are jealous of me