Christian Dating Rules Check | Joe Bonifacio

[@omgitspangke]

“It’s not about the rules, it’s about what’s going on in our hearts.” Rules may keep us from sinning, but it doesn’t help us deal with what’s truly going on in our hearts. Being aware of our sinful tendencies and confronting them whether rules are in place or not produces maturity and growth. I find that most of these dating rules that have been passed on to us is a product of the “purity culture” we experienced in church. This purity culture places more weight and importance on the externals and image of a Christian - rather than what is really going on in their hearts. I think its root cause can be found in the culture set in most Christian churches today. The church has its way of reducing a person’s worth or spiritual life based on attendance of church events/services, discipleship group meetings, ministry involvement, number of people you’ve shared the gospel to, and completion of all the discipleship classes etc. as if they are your KPIs that will determine how good of a Christian you are. The list is endless and though the gospel is being preached to us every Sunday, it still feels as if we should perform for God. So that’s why when it comes to dating, these rules may have been set it place not primarily to “protect” but as a means to “show off” one’s religiosity or conformity to the culture. Another thing is that when it comes to dating, mentors kinda already have a “template” of do’s and don’ts to follow. When one doesn’t follow this “template” it feels as if something is wrong with you. Besides that, dami rin kasing namumulis sa church. Hindi tuloy nagiging safe environment paminsan to build relationship with the opposite sex.

[@yam2841]

Trueee

[@BaniLogrono]

Love #6. Jesus never refused to look at women, but instead chose to see the whole person for who they really are

[@mariekathleenvalle4442]

This is very comforting pastor.. I always pray for a partner who is a leader and/ or a faithful follower of God. I believed that if that’s the case, I should start being active in church to gain “credentials” (Although I know that I should not serve with that kind of purpose in my mind) And sometimes i feel anxious about it.. thinking I will never be worth it unless I become like this or that.

[@jhonzie]

He is not perfect, but God is molding him 🙏🙌

[@krisocampo3772]

Finally! Breaking the church’s culture that “this is the only way a dating should be/looks like”, “this is the perfect love story kasi ganito ganyan”

[@annabellagura5768]

"When boundary became a bigger focus than showing love to people." Love the perspective Pastor! God bless you and Ate Rica po.🙏🤗

[@ydzmpm2138]

Good afternoon, Ptr. Joe. thank you for your very encouraging videos. i've grown up in a Christian community where a lot of emphasis is placed on how Christian men and women ought to conduct themselves (friendship, courtship, marriage, etc.); a lot of the points you made between being legalistic about male-female relationships were also points i've had time to reflect on in my Christian growth. There is one area of being single that I honestly really hate (so sorry for the very harsh and straightforward word) - that is when people, even in the Christian community, tease me with other guys or highlight my singleness too much. i honestly get really offended, i get very tempted to snap back and tell people to mind their own business because i feel like i'm being put in the spot. i honestly don't know what it is that people expect of me when they do this; they will always say it's just a joke but for me it feels like i'm being pressured to be with the guy they're teasing me with. and then i doubt myself and think i may be being too sensitive about it, but on the other hand, i really don't like being teased about my singleness. apart from the proper yet not legalistic conduct of Christian men and women towards each other, what should the proper conduct naman of the community around them be when it comes to teasing single people for being single?

[@christinellitandoc8597]

My husband and l have been married for more than 3 years in the late 90’s and an elderly christian woman told me it’s a sin to refrain ourselves from getting pregnant assuming that we avoid being pregnant. That was hurtful but it’s ignorance as she didn’t have any clue how hard we prayed to give us children. Same way with people who remain single, we can’t play Holy Spirit for them. Teasing them, matching them with someone else hurts more than helps.

[@jojitfernandez]

Super love this, Joe. I love how it breaks unhealthy, extra-biblical ways of relating with people, and highlights how we ought to interact with others (with absolute purity) just like how Christ did.

[@AreelKarunungan]

Hi Po Pastor Jo I agree with the Leadership Based on Character and It goes deep into the heart Sharing a quote from the Meaning of Marriage 🙏 by Timothy Keller “ …MOST people, when they are looking for a spouse, are looking for a FINISHED STATUE WHEN THEY SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A WONDERFUL BLOCK OF MARBLE, Not so you could create the kind of person you want, but rather because you see what KIND OF PERSON JESUS IS MAKING”

[@rowenamaeyamson-salvio4952]

This is very helpful, Ptr Joe! Lumaki ako thinking na indi pwedeng maging close friends ang babae at lalaki cause there's a tendency that one might fall and sin. Moving forward, these "rules" that I grew up with are making bad impact in my marriage. I am overthinking and anxious about my husband's "girl friends". It took away the peace and joy that God originated in marriage. Ngayon ko lang na realize, na ang mga thoughts kung ma betray ako nang asawa ko ay nanggaling pala sa mga sa mga kinakaihan kung church rules. Yes, some maybe helpful and true. But in my case, nasisira ang trust ko sa person na pinakasalan ko . And I know it is not the will of God . This vlog is really life changing (of course, aside from the Gospel, hehe) Maraming salamat po!

[@maetan2682]

I so love this!!! Thank God you get it, Pastor Joe. Dami kasing hindi and end results are really fear and hindrances for God to move. I also find it wrong that just because you’re getting to know someone from the opposite sex na believer naman is that unang advice na jinajam sa throat is “Guard your heart.” It’s taken out of context na people just wall up and see each other as pit falls to sin. The context of the verse isn’t about guarding our heart from one another BUT from sinning. It’s an inward check. Jesus loved the women He ministered to, He was not afraid nor guarded from them but He did not sin in doing so.

[@aprilmayjunejuly8513]

Pastor Joe, Salamat sa Lord buhay mo.

[@ressaangela]

Thank you Kuya for empasizing not the must or nevers but that it really is a heart issue. It boils down to how we love the people around us. Developing no malice friendships then if something is seen there, then pray and act on it. It's truly sad when the culture makes people hide what actually would be celebrated by the church family. My discipler always said as long as your heart is right with God, no need to explain. :) We can fool our accountability partners and our leaders but in the end we can't pretend that God doesn't see and we end up grieving God and ourselves. Thank you for emphasizing on God's love, Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Also about the accountability partners and getting advice or going to the process with someone but at the end of the day, if you are right with God, then it's truly all that matters in anything not just in dating. We can't and shouldn't police people but always come from a place of love.

[@tintells5499]

So much wisdom from this, Pastor Joe. Thank you.

[@nightingaille94]

this is liberating huhu

[@thegeorneywithrose]

Lagi ko po pinapanood mga video nyo pastor, at marami po akong natutunan, maraming salamat sa mga advice 😇

[@emelang]

Thank you pastor for this

[@concisabuenaventura]

Thank you, Ptr. Joe I learned a lot. God Bless po 🙂🙏

[@markarveenpasculado1639]

Pas, comment ko lang to, sobrang timing yung PEACE and LOVE para sakin, cause I have a foot injury right now.. 😁

[@asammariefernandez7894]

how can thsi be so relatable 😅

[@Irene-vz1ok]

This is very helpful especially for the teens/young adult like me pastor thank you po.

[@moneecaperez7594]

Thank you for the enlightenment. This means so much.

[@MelvinCopioso]

Thank you pastor Joe

[@emilygeronda445]

Thank you for this!!! ❤❤❤

[@adyjuamy1580]

I love how you explain things. :) Thank you so much!

[@maym479]

Hi pastor how do you know God is trying to tell you something?

[@thecrazycreative7809]

I like this, ptr jo. This has been helpful to me as a single person and you've answered my questions about christian dating :)

[@annecenteno]

This is awesome :) Thanks Joe! :)

[@antihero8603]

Nice.

[@narydee6290]

Thank you po for this 😊

[@cretafaithmoranta5894]

So good! ❤💯

[@memoryleyn]

This is 💯!!!!!

[@janeyoshida2554]

Pastor Joe paano simulan ipaliwanag sa anak ko yan na japanese ?

[@angelicaloquellano324]

🔥🔥🔥

[@marahdeguzman]

💖🔥💯🙏

[@beatricesiao1312]

[@capunitankaryllemaev.8775]