The problem with PURITY CULTURE | Joe Bonifacio

Thoughts on Purity Culture as someone who grew up with a lot of those themes. We get into the good and the bad parts of it. Also, I’m sitting on a stool not on… anything else.
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Music by Epidemic Sound
Questions? Clarifications? Violent reactions? If you want to talk more, find me here:
Facebook: / josephbonifacio
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Or you can always e-mail me at: [e-mail]
#purityculture #legalism #joebonifacio

[@lmntxo2678]

Grabe, there's so much to unpack in this video. Edit ko nalang itong comment ko pag naprocess ko na lahat ng insights ko, hahaha. This hits close to home kasi kaya mahaba-haba ang masusulat ko sa journal ko nyan, hahaha. 😂

[@deahgalvez3996]

I Just Remembered my Past Religion Before. There's so many rules Do's and doesn't need to do. Then when I become Christian, I realized that our relationship with Jesus is the ultimate foundation more than the Legalism or rules. Because our Personal relationship with christ can transformed us and change our Lives 🙂 Thanks Pastor Joe for the Great Message🙂💖

[@charlesjason8105]

There are still many rules in the New Covenant.

[@karenmaeyen]

Thank you, Ptr. Joe. While I was listening to you, I was reminded of this: the Word of God did not say, "Fix your eyes on the law." Rather it says, "Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith" (Heb. 12:2). Meeting all the requirements of the law doesnt make us a follower of Jesus. It is our heart that God looks at. Obedience to the law follows as we draw closer to Jesus. God bless you and your family, Ptr Joe! Thank you for sharing God's Word.

[@alyssaiax]

Amen!! It’s approaching the law through Christ, and not the other way around indeed. God’s love is just beautiful.

[@rengellebandoy9610]

"Follow GOD, Don't follow the bald guy on the internet" What a witty, selfless humour of a disclaimer, @Pastor Joe😁 To GOD be indeed all praises, worship & glory for your life that's being used as the vessel for the ministry of HIS WORD🙏🙏🙏

[@hannahmaepasaquian3392]

I love the way pastor Joe see the beauty of ms. Rica's past 🤍🤍🤍 all to His glory. 💕

[@jaemdioncs]

The beauty of Christian life is that the Grace of God always outweighs our sin. No matter how sinful we think we are, Jesus will always be the one to clean us. And He will always be the one to remind us how He loves us.

[@MrElectricN8]

The grace of God which is the blood of Jesus already cleansed us. Check your bible again, because of the blood of Jesus/the offering/the promise of Jesus, we are already clean. Jn 15:3

[@jaemdioncs]

@@MrElectricN8 Yes po. Once we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, we are made clean because of the Blood of Jesus as stated in John 15:3. But sometimes as imperfect people po, we still commit sin and see ourselves unclean before the sight of God. That is why there is the Grace of God. The sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. It says 1 John 1:19 that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all of our unrighteousness. And that is the beauty of Grace 😊

[@MrElectricN8]

@@jaemdioncs that's wrong bro. I john 1:9 says you are forgiven and cleansed of all sins, past present future. No need to feel unclean because of the blood. If you dont confess, you are still forgiven, ALL means ALL.

[@jaemdioncs]

@@MrElectricN8 Okay po. It is assuring that all of our sins are cleansed. Past, present and future. But is it really wrong to feel unclean? Is there a verse that supports this statement? I want to know po.

[@MrElectricN8]

@@jaemdioncs yan ang tama magtanong :D

[@r3cah]

“No Girlfriend Since Birth... It’s not like there are a lot of applicants anyway.” Cutiieee 🤣 Edit: This quote is from Ptr Joe himself, I’m not mocking him huhu may nang-aaway sakin 😅 1:07 - 1:14

[@r3cah]

@@MrElectricN8 what’s happening i just commented what he said 😅 it’s a joke from him and it was so funny to me huhuhu 😭

[@aprilbenilie]

Hahahaha natawa din ako dun hahaha and woah yung nang away sayo di lang nakikinig ng maayos XD

[@MrElectricN8]

@@r3cah ok

[@artshopunlimited]

Funny and cute hehehehe 😁😅

[@roseannlandicho4574]

"Regardless of what we've done before, He'll wash it away and teach us to live right for Him." One of my fave lines. Thank you, Ps. Joe. 🙌🏼

[@faithestrella6646]

Unless you know their pain, surely you could be an effective mentor. It's our job to let them see the grace of God talaga Pas. Thank you reminding us!

[@stephaniecompetente7087]

If someone will ask me WHAT I AM INTO? It's Ptr Joseph's Vlogs! Haha. Grabe. Umuulan ng wisdom! Soli Deo Gloria!

[@patbarrion2196]

Your counterintuitive messages helped me heal from my Church trauma, not to cast any blame but to realign my perspective to what really matters - intimacy with Jesus, not perfection. It's really so easy to misdirect people. Personally, it contributed a lot to my false beliefs on God's character and therefore, the rise of A LOT of anxieties. But yes, no to bitterness! instead more prayers for the Church. Good thing, even though the wounds came from spiritual leaders and can be pretty damaging, there's healing in Christ! I really love all of your content and your wife's! Very unique and insightful. Such a blessing 😍🙌 Mooooore!

[@alexganaden33]

Aghhhh! So powerful. I’ve been sexually abused at a young age and all I knew was that I was “broken”. I got scared of being involved in a church when a Christian classmate did not want me to come to her birthday because I was always cussing, and I was not good. I wasn’t a Christian at that time and I’ve grown resenting it. Years later, I decided to follow God and was brought into a home that accepted my scarred past that at times still affect me even to this day. I was not a virgin when I had a Christian boyfriend, who’s now my husband. However, he was. And there were many times before that I knew I drag him to this messy life I have, cause like I said it affected me grately during that time. I felt like I often lead him to sin sexually. And there were times that he falls into it. But I remember hearing our Pastor about forgiveness and that he said we should learn to forgive ourselves too. And that the more we sin, the more that we should draw nearer and nearer to God. We shouldn’t run away from him. I knew then, my husband was thinking of leaving church too because of what we’re doing. But because of that, we stayed, because of our Kuya (Pastor) Seph, we remained. That’s what we did. With the help of a few spiritual mentors, we barely carried through until we got married. Now, we realize why God did not want for us to commit sexual immorality outside marriage. But most importantly, we’re now enjoying this gift that God has given us as husband and wife.

[@sigriddelapaz]

Beautifully put. Praise God for you, Ptr. Joe. Really have also seen the power of focusing on the process God has for the person and journeying alongside them more than imposing rules and being very stern. Seen it as I discipled some women through struggles with immoral relationships but are now, walking faithfully in the Lord and lovingly journeying with other women in discipleship too. It was really a process before they came to that point but it's such a humbling thing to witness how the Lord was the one who really met them--convicted, carried, and now, empowered them to pass His love on. 🥺

Your insight on this topic is such a blessing! Thank you all the way from Canada past. Joe!

[@zakyokingco9599]

What you focus on grows. If you keep focusing on the avoidance of sin, instead of like the saving grace of Christ... you will end up focusing and being paralyzed by sin. Purity for me became easier when I focused more on His grace and His love. So much of this had to be said talaga. Thanks Paster Joe :)

[@MrElectricN8]

True. Churches are mostly under Law instead of under Grace. They think adherence to the Law will stop sin not knowing the Law was given to increase sin Rom 5:20.

[@myerdelicano]

This is so goood, Pastor Joe!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@jellianrosesusaya3245]

Maraming salamat po! 🙌❤

[@magelcadapan1394]

As a parent you want your children to be spared from troubles, but it is only God who can turn the bad into something good. The process humbles me as a christian parent, on how they will turn their eyes unto the Lord than me walk in pride, having my kids as a trophy. Forgive me Lord.... My kids shy away from going to church since I separated 11 years ago. But this humbling journey leads me to trust His heart, His promises & makes me kling more to Him. I see sparkling lights on how my children respond to what they learned in church & how they see me live my faith. God is working in their heart, for sure! I'm learning to trust God more & more, realizing I have not.... for I asked not.... Building my faith muscle in upholding EVERYTHING to God in prayers. It's not easy but the mustard seed faith will lead to something great as God promises it 😍. Thank you for this insight pastor. God bless you & Rica more & more, all for God's glory!

[@olivechong2512]

Thank u , very deep wisdom .

[@brianequinto]

Beautiful. Natamaan mo po yung mga thoughts ko about this topic that was never put into words. Praise God for your life!

[@plaxor]

18:45 - 19:10 man, I felt that.. grabe si Lord.. maraming salamat po pastor!

[@bezaleeldetorres3135]

Being from an ultra conservative minister's kid background that still found simple relationship with Jesus after all the confusion & condemnation, thank you for describing my story. "Sin can be part of the process" yet the "grace of God is powerful than any sin." 😌

[@donskidarko]

I think I'm one of the many who really tried to follow this book by Joshua Harris when I was younger, I also liked his other book Boy Meets Girl but a few years back he got into a scandal and he apologized for all the hurt and misguidance he has done and said he is no longer a Christian. Imagine the people who looked up to him. Kaya dapat talaga kay God ang focus. Thank you Pastor Joe for such honest views on such a sensitive topic. :)

[@joebonifacio]

Agree!

[@juniejosue4312]

Great job Joe! Proud of you. God bless you every step of the way.

[@janellrenee4320]

This was a blessing. I felt the Holy Spirit recently convicting me of the legalistic way I was viewing my own sexual past. Purity is not the point of our salvation. Is it holy and honorable? ABSOLUTELY! We should strive to be pure.. but in every area of our life and only through his grace. His grace abounds, hallelujah!

[@lobelleannlegaspi9316]

Thank you Pastor Joe, this has answered my question about myself. Hehe Thank you for making it clearer to me now. God bless po🙌

[@TheWarriorPrincess01]

Wow! Thank you for this vlog! It made my struggle look so small! It's so truee..God is concerned with our over all being..not just in one area.. thanks so much!!!

[@rosaliealonsagay7945]

Awww! I've waited for this Pastor Joe, nalate lang ako panoorin. Thanks po, it made me realize some things. Yeah you are right, I've witness many people who fell in the sin of sexual immorality because of so much legalism in the church :( parang naging baliktad yung result sa totoong goal kasi rules na lang ang sinusunod at walang change of heart. Guilty of this too, kasi I myself was legalistic about this matter. Buti na lang gracious ang Lord. Though tingin ko late ko na ata narealize pero like what you said, it's never too late to follow the Lord kapag nalaman na kung ano ang sinasabi ng Word Nya. Keep vlogging Pastor! Many are learning po from you. Glory to God for your life po 😊

[@joebonifacio]

That's true... God-given laws are good and life-giving and he gives grace to fulfill them. Man-made laws are not good and even make the problem worse.

[@KellysMum]

i'm a Christian and Ive experienced to be condemned by bros and sisters in our church because of my past. They said that they were just concerned but i think they were stumble blocks. Some have "holier than thou" attitude.. what i did? I shut and prayed for them instead. I acknowledged that Im a sinner and I have a graceful and forgiving God. And i thank HIM every day for giving me a new heart that trust and obey Him. (just sharing po)

[@joebonifacio]

Yeah, church hurt is real, but that's why we trust Jesus to heal things.

[@mingming1397]

Thank you for this, Pastor! I hope you can also do videos about work, bible reading, and how we can be closer to God in these times. Praying for you and your family...

[@rebeccalacsina3937]

Thank you for sharing insights that break mindsets yet very biblically sound and grounded. ✨

[@celynecoloma2465]

The grace of God is more powerful than sin 😍

[@pgko7123]

This is so good! Thank you for the multiple messages here!

[@mabelsto.domingo1824]

Thanks for this enlightening talk.

[@aneeshyoj7795]

thank you for making God's words relatable and practical through this vlog Ptr Joe. Gusto ko yung may tabo on the background hahaha

[@apriljoyceraymundo9908]

Thank you Pastor! Kaya kailangan talaga laging nagheheart check everyday.

[@justinnemikaelataburnal8503]

Thankyou pastor Joe from Victory Roxas

[@2010arwen]

Btw, the reason why I love what you said is because it proves the greatness of God's Love. Reminds me of the story of the lady Magdalene, that despite her sins, Jesus still forgave her and lifted her up. Even Peter, when he denied 3 times that he knows Jesus, he was still forgiven. This talk reinforced that and reminded me that God's Love is the Greatest! :)

[@oar-N-oasis]

Bilang ako, I messed up my purity dou I grew-up in a Christian family. I failed to stay pure but I'm for ever grateful cause JESUS CHRIST don't give up on me. No matter what your past was, repent, ask forgiveness to him. I believe that JESUS CHRIST don't want us to perish forever! I agree when sir Joe says about the "GRACE" of GOD but as a Christian we must not claim this grace to excuse our flesh to sin.. There are so many principles in the scripture teaching us how to deal with sin and not to just put ourselves in legalism.. study our Bible and we pray for the holy spirit to guide us in a Christian life that truly pleasing in God sight. Blessings and thank you sir Joseph.

[@chechoxaraamante4852]

You just lit up my hope. Thanks God for your life.

[@rosaliomulawan1245]

Hello ptr. Joe. So blessed to hear and watch how you present the gospel in a simple and practical way. Remind me of rob bell "nooma". Thank you. I pray that more content to teach. God bless

[@jumainallos2196]

Amen. Thank you bro.🔥🕊

[@racq7_]

This was very true po sa church namin noon. It's good po na you are discussing this for the youths now to hear and learn. Maganda po ang approach nyo... very relatable.

[@christianejoy]

Thank you for this Pastor Joe. It's really an eye opening message especially for the singles.

[@edsn0124]

God bless you Pastor Joe.

[@hannampil9543]

Amen..Our obedience must be inspired by the love that God gave first to us, and our love for God too.😊❤️🙏 Thanks po Ptr. Joe.🖖

[@jenchiegayanilo8998]

very applicable in parenting as well. for us who grew up making IKDG as a bible, this is very liberating.. thank you for sharing this. my kids will surely thank you for opening my eyes🙏

[@hebheb31]

Thank you pastor, this really helped me. 😭 I’ve been struggling but I believe that He is greater than any of my struggles.

[@jeremyarmenta0106]

A life that leads to repentance and knowing Jesus more. Receiving God’s grace that He has given us through Jesus Christ. The grace of God is more powerful than anything else. Very well said, Pastor Joe. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@frankmavicramonida5191]

God bless po ptr.and your family. 🥰🌅🌈🙏

[@Gie0375]

Pastor Jo, love all your topics. I grew up in the church too and I completely understand where you're coming from. Can you also discuss the topic about how can grace be abused? Love to hear your thoughts on this too. God bless Pas Joe!

[@joebonifacio]

I think I get what you mean. But I don't think it's grace that's being abused. But the teaching of it. Because real grace includes the ability to say "no" to sin. Titus 2:11-12 "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,..." So if you see someone who continues to sin willfully, they don't have too much grace. But too little. They might claim they're "still okay" because they have God's grace, but you can lovingly correct them that they're being foolish and sinful. And if they really have God's grace, they'll learn they can fight sin by his grace. If they don't want to do that, then you'll see that all the "grace" talk was just a smokescreen, an excuse to keep on sinning. Don't be mad at them at that point. They will reap the payment for their sin. Pray and keep the door open so they will repent and come under the grace of God. The true life-changing grace of God.

[@ElectricNimPedalsPhilippines]

Finally someone said it! Ilang beses ako na stumble dati because of this culture. Couldn’t believe na sa loob ng church ka mismo magiging victim.

[@marygraceespiritu1352]

Thank you, Pastor for this message. All glory to Jesus! 🙌

[@sassasimp6522]

Hahaha. Love the set up Ptr Joe! Very "pure"🤣

[@secretaryninicholistic_sou1680]

thanks for sharing this vlogs lods

[@jamessantua6181]

Grabe to! Salamat po ptr Joe 😭😭😭

[@KellysMum]

thank you for this,Pastor...God bless you and your family.

[@artventures24]

Wow. I love this message about legalism!

[@sakuraarc2206]

ang powerful ng message, I was able to reflect. thank you!

[@ByakkøGAMING777]

Aww man! Things I had to "overthink" while in the faith.

[@cdonaayos]

Thank you for this Pastor Joe! Your message and insight really puts things into perspective. This is what we need nowadays. Praying that God would use your influence mightily. God bless po!

[@DAYLIGHTTRAVEL]

very informative sir love it! keep it up! anyways enjoyed watching here, looking forward to see more

[@kriztineredondo6625]

Gandaaa po Ps. Joe. Very clear and concise. ❤️

[@ligayawong2867]

Thank you, Pastor Joe

[@oftheSaintsCharlizeDaiken]

Amen. So goood!!

[@caireedigal9452]

Ahhhhh - this is so heartwarming!

[@MrElectricN8]

"[Church] Mission became sin prevention instead of knowing Jesus" true. In Christ we are forgiven forever.

[@darrenangeloreyes9483]

I honestly am in a quandary at some points mentioned. I think the main reason "purity" focuses on sex is because this is the main thing that affects so many people today? This is very essential topic that has to be dealth with head on and so the emphasis? The Word of God is also very clear emphasing on this issue and is actually very direct. Tayo pa nga minsan nagwa-water down sa sobrang direkta ng Bible on topics of sex. I don't think its "either-or" on the Fear of the Lord and Fear of sin? It should come together? We fear the Lord and the fruit is our fear of sinning?

[@joebonifacio]

I agree and love the fact that the Bible is clear about this issue and this teaching emphasizes the clarity of the Bible on this area. I mentioned that in the vlog a number of times. I don’t think fear of sin is automatically bad either. A healthy fear of sin should lead us to love Jesus more, and loving Jesus more should lead us to hate sin more. My problem is when it’s just being afraid of sinning WITHOUT clinging to Jesus for salvation and transformation.

[@diannegulmatico612]

This is so powerful 🔥

[@Shadrack1966]

Beautiful!!!👏👏👏👏👏

[@donkebs6356]

Wow as in wow!

[@MiriamandArdy]

Lol. I gave Miriam a purity pledge "certificate" when I was courting her. And I was 48 and she was 39. It actually worked for us. Plus having accountability partners.

[@MiriamandArdy]

Nice going, Ps Joe.

[@joebonifacio]

Same here! Some practices really worked for us even though some others found them too much.

[@TheChristianExpats]

I love that, “The mission becomes sin prevention not knowing Jesus”. If people know Jesus more they will love Him more and walking in righteousness will produce joy.

[@2010arwen]

I really love this! Wondering on your thoughts about Tarot Cards though?

[@joebonifacio]

I don't think this is a matter of "personal conviction." The Bible is clearly against witchcraft and Tarot cards seem to me to be a kind of witchcraft.

[@2010arwen]

@@joebonifacio thanks so much!

[@oursimplehappyland8586]

I remember hanging out in Starbucks Katipunan... is it still there? Great vlog! - AB PoS 2004 Batchmate :-)

[@joebonifacio]

Wow... pero blind item. Your channel didn't help me figure out who you are either. Pero totoo, malungkot yun kung mawala ang Starbucks Katipunan.

[@oursimplehappyland8586]

@@joebonifacio Haha. I don't know if you remember me. My block is I2. Sheryl Harina ako when I was single, Laure na ako ngayon. I haven't been back there sa Katipunan since 2012 kaya malamang shocking na yung hitsura nung area for me from what I've been hearing ng mga bagong places. Great VLOG and channel!

[@joebonifacio]

@@oursimplehappyland8586 I remember your name, but yeah, we didn't talk much nga. Thanks!

[@charealtyhome-elyn5817]

Amen thank you Pastor "Bald guy of the internet"

[@julietbarahan4925]

Legalism in the Church is indeed the issues of the heart Pastor.... Thanks for tackling this issues. As a Christian, we are being called to Love the sinner but hate the sins and we can only do it by the grace of Jesus.

[@jrreyes1464]

Amen!

[@sammyboi1208]

Yeser!

[@ebbenflow6317]

Thank you for this message! Btw, are you vlogging inside your comfort room pastor? 😅

[@thinkupph]

Solid 💯

[@reformed-slave]

Good day sir, thanks for the insight, stumbled upon your vlog. I have a question, let's say we have a person, a professing Christian in the local body who continue to live in unrepentant and public sin and bringing reproach to Christ's name by his profession, and after warnings from some brothers, still lives in sin. Shouldn't the church take action about it?

[@joebonifacio]

I think so, yeah. We should correct that person in manner similar to the model given in Matthew 18.

[@CharmingChapters00]

Pt Joe, what’s your view about online dating?

[@joebonifacio]

Similar views as regular dating. There's a wise, righteous, and beneficial way to do it and a foolish, sinful, and harmful way to do it.

[@paulgabrielsancho1158]

💯💯💯

[@anywayanyhow]

At 17:35, When he did not contact you, did you try to address the sin or just plain kumusta lang, saan ka na...? And when he came back, you just listened po like nothing happened?

[@joebonifacio]

I tried to contact him. But there were zero responses. I knew he was deliberately avoiding me. When he came back, I asked him, “How are you? What’s been going on?” And that’s when he confessed na. I discerned he was telling the truth. Siguro if I felt like he was lying, I would have pressed a bit more deliberately. “Are you sure that’s all that happened? Is there anything else you need to confess? The Bible says confessing to one another and prayers from others helps us find healing in our time of need.”

[@anywayanyhow]

@@joebonifacio Thanks, Pastor!

[@nrpservices7362]

The church was legalistic about it was an understatement. During your time medyo nag adjust na and it was good for you younger generation compared to us older ones. But I’m not discounting the sovereignty of God, and All things considered, I believe that everything happened for a reason.

[@actuallyfrankie]

I still wear a purity ring, though I keep it more as a reminder of when I was saved. It's a convenient way, though, to filter out people who would respect my convictions or not. The ring helps spark conversation about my decision to reserve sex for marriage. If the person shrugs and is like, "Okay, cool, I respect it." then they're cool people. If they pressure me to "toss the ring," then that usually tells me I'm in for a stressful time socially. That aside, I was pretty legalistic about purity culture as a young teen. I read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" more than the Bible, honestly, and it kind of created this weird idea of God as someone who would "punish" me with "brokenness" for stumbling. I also had a pretty skewed idea of my sexuality because of the whole I Kissed Dating Goodbye/Not Even A Hint situation. It felt wrong to even *feel* desire, as a young person, so I felt more comfortable repressing it instead of talking to my accountability partners about it. So, for a long time, I had to journey through reconciling Christianity and grappling with my personal sexuality...alone. Which was...not great. Also, yeah, befriending the opposite sex. That was rough. :))

[@joebonifacio]

Hey Frankie, yeah, I like how the ring helps you. It's great when people connect it to their faith in Jesus. I appreciate God's grace in your life for how you've persevered and it's really his doing.

[@daddada2984]

Iba nag payo ng bible, bata pa lang turuan na at nang hindi na maligaw pa. Wag sumangayun sa culture ng mundo.

[@maryjanetolentino4920]

Anong camera po yung gamit nyo hehe thank you po dito pastor :)

[@evaschroeder4020]

I was brought up catholic and I had a lot of issues with this

[@evaschroeder4020]

Legalism is a spirit

[@MrElectricN8]

Faith is not something we do. Faith is something the God did in the spirit which is salvation. If you believe Salvation thru Christ, that's faith but not your faith, faith of Christ.

[@dvtech3873]

nice insights bro, pero sino ung nag bebench fix sa inyo?

[@joebonifacio]

Pag sina style ko yung buhok ko sa ilong.

[@raymenoflight2894]

Jonathan edwards and Randy alcorn for the win... read them peeps.

[@screamoterohs]

I remembered one of our former pastor who always preach about no kiss, holding hands and sex before marriage only for us to know he broke t all because the foundation of his life were lies. He always acts as if he was virgin in dating but her integrity was in quistioned and I personally assume that he paid prostitutes base on story before... Oh well papel!

[@r3cah]

Natawa ako dun sa P.S. I’m not sitting on the toilet 😭

[@joebonifacio]

That was Philip's first reaction to the vlog. Haha

[@clarb4094]

Hahaha akala ko din 😅

[@mnmlstwmn]

Hala. Naghanap talaga ako sa comment section kung may nakapansin ba 😅✌️✌️

[@celynecoloma2465]

At your right hand are pleasures forevermore 😇

[@clauciudad]

💗💗💗

[@daddada2984]

Good Legalism will help you away from getting hurt. Bkt po sa toilet & bath kayo ng video, Maganda ba po acoustic jan?

[@jezzeljoyjuaton2435]

❤❤❤❤❤❤