Church Sells Land In Heaven | Stand-up Comedy by Daniel Fernandes

[@absolutelydanny]

You can book tickets for my live shows here: linktr.ee/danielwfernandes

[@rabbanalam5485]

Baat hasne ka na bhi ho Phir bhi hase jaa rahe because woh ticket kharidte hai hasne ke liye

[@name_dropper8112]

Is that a fucking laugh track?

[@piythe-yu7vt]

I like how you said in the end that god is giving place in heaven to terrorists😂😂😂😂 From river to the sea Palestine will be free From worldmap👍👍

[@wencyLopes]

You are the king of dark comedy, Palestinian punch bring tears in my eyes. May God bless them and give them strength.

[@suhanipal4565]

But river to the sea is a bit too much....where will Jews go...?

[@rake1840]

@@suhanipal4565 they will also become citizens but under Palestinian leadership

[@RAJPOOT-__-]

​@@suhanipal4565they will go to hell

[@anashaikh995]

Aameen thanks

[@Burner__]

If it takes only this much...

[@staticcouch135]

As a Palestinian I am crying but hopeful because people like you with humane hearts are speaking out 🙏

[@aditisengupta985]

Daniel you are divinely gifted. Words fail to adequately describe how you incomparably weaponize humour to speak for the oppressed and remind us of eternally unforgivable crimes against the innocent. This is savage, formidable humour at its best and yet so charmingly delivered in a manner that is irreprehensible.

[@Bhatakti_Hawas]

Damn. The end was gut wrenching

[@arifsiddiqui2347]

The last line was so deep & true.. thanks for mentioning Palestine

[@RijanKhanal-jh6t]

😂😂😂he mentioned now it's freed from israel

[@integer9655]

​@@RijanKhanal-jh6t YOU can think whatever you want. But you can't force other to accept your dumb ideas. Stay safe and try to make other’s happy if you can't then at last stay quite .

[@RijanKhanal-jh6t]

@@integer9655 ok now after your comment it's free. 😂😂

[@akmal94ibrahim]

Even after reading your comment and preparing for the joke about Palestine, that still hits hard. Especially after him mentioning Palestinian children

[@nazaronly4728]

A comedian,that punches at your guts and makes you cry yet you feel so lucky to exist at a time such ppl are there .

[@saifsaiyed2569]

I literally got emotional in the end 😢

[@Fizafeez]

❤❤❤❤❤ Goosebumps. Never thought a comedian could make me feel like this. Much love and respect from Canada.

[@jalexrosh]

Daniel, You have a heart of Gold and a clear conscience. We are blessed to have people like you around. You give me hope and courage ❤🙂🙏

[@super_easy_art]

A comedy video and I am crying! ❤🍉 We can't forget indeed!!

[@shadowpatriot.855]

I was already sold by your jokes, but the ending where you teased the reality 🙌🏼 Respect man... #palestine 🇵🇸

[@rahulsaxena5192]

From laughing out loud to sudden tears... never happened with me before. You are a master of your craft.

[@anonymous_scholar]

"We can't forget" ❤

[@mohammedalisayed1596]

Man you are really one of those special being... who brings them alive in memories again with such subtle reminders. . Really appreciate it... there are still good people who value humans and humanity

[@rohand04]

well it's hilarious when we see muslim pointing out isreal about the killing and Palestine or even Rohingaya or kashmir .. While the same won't say a word about the virtual annihilation by killing forced migration of non Muslim community in islamic country.. Where the native population is refused to below 5% in some places below 1% like afghanistan Pakistan Indonesia even all meddle east

[@swatighosh_9978]

The sentence Palestinian Children singing...... May God bless the little souls....

[@latifyaqoob4460]

Daniel is the wisest standup guy in india. His dark jokes are literally hilarious

[@pradhyudh]

And also he is not an activist of any kind, just wants your laugh, fires at everybody ,nobody feels uncomfortable

[@naveedifteqar8910]

Thank you for the Palestinian reference you are an honest man

[@mr.champoslam7037]

yup heaven is filled with palestinian children

[@aftabmohammedify]

Your comedy is an exceptional mix of dark, excellent thought provoking comedy. Fantastic work. More power to you.

[@jamilakhtar1663]

You are a gem . God bless you. Would like to attend your show when you are in Kolkata

[@sheebasojanar9741]

Palestinian children...broke mt heart. You seem to know the technique to pull the heart strings, while u make our mind believe it's a comedy show

[@riyan571]

God bless you! I love the way you remind the world about Palestine! We zombies are dead, dumb and blind to them!😢

[@rohand04]

well it's hilarious when we see muslim pointing out isreal about the killing and Palestine or even Rohingya or kashmir .. While the same won't say a word about the virtual annihilation by killing forced migration of non Muslim community in islamic country.. Where the native population is refused to below 5% in some places below 1% like afghanistan Pakistan Indonesia even all meddle east

[@SarwatFazela]

That last comment uff❤

[@mohammadnayef5226]

Thank you for that lovely message towards the end. May peace prevail everywhere and people of all creeds soften their hearts for each other.

[@limnasainudeen4885]

Last lines touched my heart😢😢

[@anjumrashda7138]

Daniel this world is in need of more people like u dude. Keep shinning ameen

[@asamratman3058]

I don't know if this is just admiration or Love or Respect but my heart is full of feelings for you Bro. You are the best I have heard. Keep Rocking and May the Good God keep blessing you.

[@rohand04]

well it's hilarious when we see muslim pointing out isreal about the killing and Palestine or even Rohingaya or kashmir .. While the same won't say a word about the virtual annihilation by killing forced migration of non Muslim community in islamic country.. Where the native population is reduced to below 5% in some places below 1% like afghanistan Pakistan Indonesia even all meddle east

[@mutaherahmed1089]

2:31 oh nice ❤

[@vivekslogic]

"Diversify your Portfolio" 😂😂😂😂😂 Last line is Exceptional though.....

[@shirin8402]

Daniel you're such a noble soul, NEVER forgets to do your part. Free Palestine

[@ambivertnerd6338]

Palestinian Line Was So Good. ❤😊🌹

[@macapp3504]

One of the best dark comedian I have seen.

[@mohammedrazaesmail6934]

Yes... heaven is filled with Palestinian children.

[@rohand04]

And also non Muslim minorities in Bangladesh Pakistan Afghanistan Nigeria Sudan and other Muslim countries

[@mohammedrazaesmail6934]

@@rohand04 all children

[@rohand04]

​​@@mohammedrazaesmail6934well it's hilarious when we see muslim pointing out isreal about the killing and Palestine or even Rohingaya or kashmir .. While the same won't say a word about the virtual annihilation by killing forced migration of non Muslim community in islamic country.. Where the native population is reduced to below 5% in some places below 1% like afghanistan Pakistan Indonesia even all meddle east..

[@leekhan2092]

Dude, I just found you online, and you are my new favorite comedian.. bill hicks would love you

[@TheIrfan7180]

TRUE...you can't forget.

[@cheryldesouza3115]

Good stuff👌👌

[@intesab_ahmad]

The jokes are funny and meaningful and necessary in such conflicting times. But that body!! WHEW🔥🔥 He looks like an mma fighter.

[@nn-tm8oy]

You made me laugh and with your last line you made me cry. May Allah bless you.

[@yagerone369]

I was here for the jokes but, leaving with a heavy heart.

[@mohamedfayazdeen7452]

May God bless them and you for remembering and mentioning them

[@titasghosh3350]

Oh God ! Let's not forget about Palestine🇵🇸 let them be remembered in our prayers.

[@AayatOfficial]

This is pure Art!

[@asifahussain6959]

I love your comedy. God bless you always.

[@razaliagha3805]

Ending is great. And what joke man.....why it's so hot

[@Ooke-j8l]

This video must show everyone. Loved the darkness in the comedy.

[@Aesthetic-hf3ss]

U filled my eyes wit emotions

[@afifkhan5061]

Bro actually you are a neutral and secular comedians and when a listen you by making laugh you leave a deep message

[@Aesthetic-hf3ss]

I love ur kindnesz and love for palestinian brother and sis and children good luck

[@lubnaqazi3486]

Last one brought tears....couldn't laugh at it sorry....

[@Maikashmiri]

Damn you!!! You got me in the end 😢

[@Annaaaaa-o7t]

The last lines made me cry 😭

[@thomasmueller8116]

I had to cry at the last words

[@zafarmalik277]

Your parents are great and what an upbringing Salute to your parents Bahut hard

[@curly_Roads_Pvt_Ltd]

Last line man❤❤

[@ArifHussain-hi4xd]

More power to you bro

[@n.s.1170]

Sooo much respect 🫡

[@decoynotreal2114]

a brave comedian who is actually funny

[@DrTaliburRehman]

Wow, Daniel. You nailed it with your Witty humour as usual especially with that emotional line on Palestinians! #Freepalestine 🇦🇪

[@rohand04]

well it's hilarious when we see muslim pointing out isreal about the killing and Palestine or even Rohingaya or kashmir .. While the same won't say a word about the virtual annihilation by killing forced migration of non Muslim community in islamic country.. Where the native population is reduced to below 5% in some places below 1% like afghanistan Pakistan Indonesia even all meddle east

[@user-3013]

More power to my bro Daniel. ❤🍉🍉❤🍉❤

[@bakhteyarali8127]

❤ for the climax of this video. Hats off bro.

[@integer9655]

Good and nice comedy

[@habeebbadr8752]

The climax was ultimate

[@TheGeorgeous]

Great new term for Priests : Real Estate Agents (Heavenly Division)

[@yasminghiaz4909]

Thank you for Mentioning Palestine......🥹

[@MrDonster]

Bro is a legend ❤

[@billietae5693]

You're deep in depression and accelerating, aren't you? If you see this, hold it together, OK? We need people like you.

[@r.h3162]

Great last line

[@Ghazishoeb]

U hav a GOLDEN heart did❤

[@armaanjaz5968]

Bro you earn my respect 🫡 😢❤…

[@Ayanakoji09]

Real state agents of the cloud 😂😂🎉

[@PandaTheAB]

Hilarious dark witty set 😂

[@monkeybaath2325]

Land in heaven? Naaaa. … virgins in heaven? … YA YA YA 👍👍👍👌👌👌

[@AlfaazeMaahtaab]

So Munawar faruqi lost his balls, but glad to know you still got yours.

[@parinikasharma317]

Oof that Palestine line

[@deadshot-oo2rw]

Wow what a man love you ❤❤❤❤

[@joylazarus4148]

Daaaaannnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... !!!

[@kiranchristopher11]

Vera level Bro

[@ShekharGehlaut]

I love you man.

[@RoshinVarghese-yt6so]

Don't confuse yourself. Chill! Once you buy their land in heaven, they themselves will make sure you reach heaven within no time. 😂😂

[@NayaA-Ri]

That word about palestinian make me proud and nore respect to you.. thanks

[@hasanbariawala8316]

The last line broke me

[@ae.ron-men_ezes]

True that.

[@bathroom_singer100]

Underrated

[@Manavta238]

The Bohra Muslims also selling land in Jannah(heaven), i have heard so NOT sure. But very thing could be possible. My nephew bought plot on Moon some 8 years back😮😮😮

[@dan2dhoomdanish]

Palestine 😢

[@Aamir-x1m]

Best sir

[@Blackpplrcool]

DAMN!!!

[@princekhandelwal8069]

Thank God i am an Atheist😮‍💨😮‍💨

[@athirajm]

2:30 ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@md.shakeelanjum7524]

Kudos

[@curly_Roads_Pvt_Ltd]

Maturity is Daniel fernandes

[@shivetawali2138]

They are doing the same in Punjab..

[@advameyabhagwat]

Crazy. 😂

[@AsifinVR]

Alhamdullilah...Palestinians deserve heaven

[@rohand04]

well it's hilarious when we see muslim pointing out isreal about the killing and Palestine or even Rohingaya or kashmir .. While the same won't say a word about the virtual annihilation by killing forced migration of non Muslim community in islamic country.. Where the native population is refused to below 5% in some places below 1% like afghanistan Pakistan Indonesia even all meddle east Have you ever asked why are the population of 31 islamic majority country have 95% + muslim population.. 39 have 88% + Why is it that it is impossible for non Muslim to live in these islamic country.. The Persian left for india.. The Afghanistan lost it Buddhist monastery But how many islamic country condemn the virtual inhalation of sikh from afghanistan who were 6 mn in '71 .. And less than 100 left today.. Or the forced conversion and marriage of hindu and Christian under age girls in Pakistan.. The inhalation of Ahemidia in Pakistan Indonesia and kurdistani mens and thier girls turkey syria Iraq Iran. even with your pride of allhamdulillah there are no non Muslim tribe in Somalia or 97% of Pakistan or More than half the countries in the Middle East-North Africa region have populations that are approximately 95% Muslim or greater. These include Algeria, Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Libya, Morocco, Palestinian territories, Saudi Arabia, Tunisia, Western Sahara and Yemen. Kurds have had a long history of discrimination perpetrated against them by the Turkish government. Massacres have periodically occurred against the Kurds since the establishment of the Republic of Turkey in 1923. I'm sorry I still have not heard a single word of condemnation from any muslim.. Just look at only islamic State in India.. Where are the natives The reality is you expect isreal and India and the world to be secularist but you justified a killing because the alleged disrespect of quran in your own Bangladesh. And Pakistan and France

[@arzoouchil429]

♥️

[@thecritiquer9407]

❤❤❤

[@SarwatFazela]

Wow wow wow

[@hosaus]

Lest we forget 🫡

[@prvate9818]

Let’s put it this way: the church takes $100 donates that money in charity to people of Palestine. Ofcourse you’re going to heaven for doing a good deed. No way God will forget that $100. Think about it! If all the religions come together to uplift humanity and not fight against each other. You don’t need a land in heaven, you’re building heaven on earth.