Therapist Reacts to COCO

[@nonsonoqui100]

A very underrated moment for me is when Coco looks up after singing and says, “Elena, what’s wrong?” It’s the first time in the movie, and probably the first time in years, that she says her daughter’s name or even recognizes her.

[@icarue993]

That moment hit me harder than anything else

[@marshalljarnagin9370]

Yeah, I overheard my mother on the phone with my aunt, talking about how my grandma doesn't recognize my cousin almost all the time now. And having had a relationship from before the dementia, it hurts to see her not recognize her own family.

[@leiajiang7877]

And when she remember she asked her child if she was ok first.

[@afm1947]

Same. It's my favorite line in this movie, it's such a raw moment ..I always tear up in that scene

[@lisamoss7632]

I just lost my mother to dementia. Hearing her call out to me by name a week before she passed means so much to me. 💜 I completely understand.

[@arcanexarcade]

something about “she’s not just a wrinkled old woman whose memory is going, she’s also a little girl whose dad disappeared” really just hit me like a train

[@Niyaaa2434]

Yeah we always see old people just as old people as tho they were never young but when we sit down with them, listen to their story and actually see that our grandparents were little children too it's just- Yeah it hits us like a TRAIN for sure

[@gracecodd4378]

Same. I almost cried when he said that

[@lyzcabrera5216]

I instantly thought of my grandma and how she was robbed of her childhood and just broke down in tears

[@mm277hb]

100% ❤️

[@sidneysometimes2520]

My father used to always say "When our elders die, it's like a library burning down. We are fools not to visit those libraries while they're here."

[@maddiesmith1492]

This is a tiny detail that may not have even been intentional, but the moment Miguel realises he needs to sing to Coco to help her remember, it's his shoes hitting his guitar that gives him the idea, the two parts of his family. It's storytelling at it's best.

[@officialmai]

Shh, I don't wanna cry more. Update: I asked my mom about my grandma and aunt, and I cried a l o t. I even found some photos of me and my aunt she had never seen of when she was still alive. It made me happy to bring her some joy. :)

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

Awh snap really nothing is unintentional. Dang it you made me cry again

[@TayoEXE]

Yeah... I think it's the beauty here. Learning about our family and ancestors shows us just how rich our own heritage and lives can be. Remembering your roots, so to speak, can sometimes be hard too if they weren't as pleasant, but they can also be a motivator to make something better. Had a bad family growing up? Maybe you have the chance to build a new and better legacy.

[@frnnd058]

Mindblown* this moment just became 8 times more moving (TT^TT*)

[@Shatterpath]

oh... oh man, I can't believe I didn't pick up on that! Thank you. 😭😭

[@Volgrand]

I'm a nurse. Something I find amazing of mama Coco's scene is that they nailed the moment she "reconnects" with reality. I've seen many elderly patients that would not react to mostly anything, but suddenly something changed. Maybe a son from far away popped in, maybe their partner, maybe music... but they do react exactly like that. That suble change in they way the move, they look, they breathe, until they look at you and you *know* they are seeing you. Damn you, Pixar. Damn you. You wonderful genius.

[@Rutabega_NG]

Well knowing that's going to make it even harder to get through that scene without being utterly destroyed.

[@BoreasTheColdBoi]

Never cried, they need to make a movie about a pet dying.

[@Lucailey]

Yes, I used to work in a nursing home. I have seen this too. It is priceless.

[@novastar6112]

@@BoreasTheColdBoi braindead

[@chasemishio1781]

One thing I remember hearing is that among victims of dementia and Alzheimer's, one of the last things they remember is music. They will often be known to hum the tune of their favorite songs, even if they are otherwise unresponsive to stimuli or they don't remember the lyrics

[@trinaq]

I love how the film is titled after Coco, since she's not only beloved by both Miguel and Hector, but she acts as a bridge between the living (Miguel) and the dead (Hector.)

[@Hamantha]

Just brilliant

[@oracleofthemundane9593]

And a bridge between Elena and Miguel, because when she talks about loving her daughter, Miguel understands because he loves his Mama Coco, too. It's not the same kind of love, but it's the kind of love that makes them all family.

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

@@oracleofthemundane9593 dude your comment made me happy cry

[@oracleofthemundane9593]

@@jacksparrowismydaddy *capeflap* Then my work here is done.

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

@@oracleofthemundane9593 lol

[@hannahw90hw]

I just noticed how Miguel's dad is the only one who tries to protect his guitar and shows empathy when he runs away, because he wasn't born into the family. He knows and understands the music ban but he still wanted his son to be happy

[@codename1014]

I'm pretty sure he was born into the family? His interactions with the grandma, calling her mama and such, seem more like son interacting with mother rather than son-in-law interacting with mother-in-law

[@Jessica-tn4wk]

@@codename1014 not necessarily. Some families are very close. Hispanic families especially, regardless of in-law or not. I’ve had to ask my own mother who is related by blood and married at parties because I’ll know members as aunt/uncle but not know who’s the one that is actually related to me. My family treats my husband as though he’s been in the family forever and refer to him as their son/brother/cousin despite him being an in-law due to marrying me.

[@mavenoire3704]

Miguel's father, Enrique, was born into the family he's the son of Mama Elena and Franco. Miguel's mother was the one who married into this family.

[@hannahw90hw]

@@mavenoire3704 he says in the prologue " later she taught her son-in-law to make shoes and then her grandkids"

[@mavenoire3704]

@@hannahw90hw The one who taught her son in law to make shoes was Imelda to Julio, COCO's husband. That wasn't referring to Enrique as he's Mama Elena's son.

[@corinnehughessilva4683]

My favorite part of this movie is when Imelda says to Hector "I can't forgive you, but I will help you." It wasn't Hector's fault that he never made it back to his family, but his leaving in the first place still caused a lot of pain for Imelda, and she doesn't have to forgive him right away. Forgiveness and healing take time, and I appreciate that they recognized that.

[@debymello4756]

YES YES. Intend doesn't automaticaly makes pain go away, it's just a bandage that helps out

[@AngelaSealana]

Yes, and for a typical Mexican family, that forgiveness would never come so fast or be expressed verbally like that.

[@auggiejaime3820]

I don't really blame Imelda for not forgiving Hector right away even though it wasn't his fault he didn't return home, with time forgiveness will occur

[@coffeebean8790]

That's true. It would definitely take Imelda some time to overcome almost a century worth of hurt, anger, and assuming the worst about Hector. Her learning the truth about what happened to him was just the first step.

[@laraschroeder5195]

SHELVING IT!! FROM THE FROZEN 2 EPISODE!! Fantastic…

[@ladymisuto6094]

My favorite aspect of this movie is actually Ernesto’s perversion of “Remember Me”. Héctor wrote that song for Coco and it was always meant to be soft and slow, to connect him and his daughter no matter how far away he was or how long he was gone. It included an edge of sadness because it was about the distance between them, but also that knowledge that they were always together even when apart. And when Ernesto stole the song, he not only sped up the pace of it, but he made it this happy-go-lucky song about himself because the only thing he wanted from his life was to be famous and remembered by everyone for generations. He had no emotional connection to the song (nor likely to any of the songs he stole) and that shallowness was what that song meant to him.

[@alexmartinez5859]

That truly highlights the difference between the two. I could put dollars to pesos, that even before Hector was gone, de La Cruz never really had a hit that was written by him. He wasn’t the one with his heart in the creative side and passion in it, because he wasn’t the one that wanted to support his wife and daughter. He wanted the fame and the image without the hard work. That’s probably why once he found it he never once gave a thought about the actual pace. He saw it as a ticket to his fame. And it worked because Miguel says it was his most memorable song. Edit: Recently watched the movie and Héctor explicitly stated that Ernesto never wrote any of his songs during the confrontation that revealed him as the fake. Héctor also said that he taught Ernesto everything that he knew about music. Additionally, Frida Kahlo also stated that Ernesto never rehearsed his performances, two more signs that he never actually wanted to put in the time or the effort, but wanted the image. It’d been a while since I’d seen the movie so yeah.

[@Attomic7kitten]

Ernesto's version of "Remember Me" immediately felt wrong to me. The tone and iconography in that rendition weren't supposed to be dissonant or intentionaly opposing, it just was. And we were supposed to believe that was how it is. I'm very attuned to music, so the first time I heard it it felt jarring. Like I walked into a room I'd been in before and knew something had changed since the last time but was unable to name what exactly had changed. I couldn't take Ernesto at face value after because I already sensed something wasn't right

[@pokaay3163]

Yes! Ernesto’s version sounds so vain and is totally disrespectful to Hector’s original vision for the song. It’s awful that Hector had to live with that kind of injustice for so long, and to not even know HOW unjust it was until Miguel came along is even worse.

[@teneesh3376]

And then they made a pop version of Remember Me for the credits. Which always makes me so angry every time I watch the movie cause it falls flat on the face on the message of the entire movie

[@OscarGomez-hg8cb]

@@teneesh3376 have you heard it? Like, complete? I would recommend it before you judge. Yes, it’s pop, but honestly since I heard *who* was singing it, and it’s honestly a pretty great version of the song. The one by Lafourcade and the one by Ernesto De la Cruz are basically the difference between a cover written solely to sell, and a honest homage to an artist who inspired you.

[@midnightnavigator]

The part that broke me was Coco's face when Miguel told her that her papa loved her. You could tell that her whole life she was told he didn't because he abandoned her, and that was the first time it was actually said to her.

[@louise.araujo]

That is actually a side note on the script. They have a side-to-side comparison between the script and the finished scene on Pixar’s KZbin channel and it says something like “Coco smiles; she has waited a long time to hear those words”. I just cannot not cry my eyes out every single time

[@ShamelessLainLover]

I actually had a similar experience with my Lola. She had pretty bad dementia as she got older and one summer, while my lolo, her husband, was in the Philippines she started having these vivid hallucinations of children crying and running through all her stuff. Her mother was a prostitute who left her when she was 6 years old with around 20 or so half-siblings, she was the eldest. Her father was a businessman who was gone for months on end, leaving her and all of her half-siblings with her grandparents. She was a tough woman who, despite going through so much, deeply cared for all of those around her. She became a nurse (free room and board) and sent every one of her siblings, as well as a few other destitute child acquaintances, through school. Her hallucinations were because she'd assigned so much of her purpose in life to caring for those around her. Anyways, one night while she was suffering from all the hallucinations I sought to comfort her by telling her that the children are okay now, and that it was her turn to be taken care of. She told me that she misses her mother, despite how she abandoned her, and so I reassured her that she will always love her. She smiled and cried a little. And even though she continued to see the visions of children up until the day she passed away, she approached them with humor and love. No more fear.

[@finngswan3732]

@@ShamelessLainLover That’s really powerful.

[@sandyposs2693]

@@ShamelessLainLover Dammit, I thought I was done crying after the video. :'(

[@feliz695]

@@ShamelessLainLover Same for my Lola as well. We watch the movie before she passed away.

[@wuteva4eva456]

I wish you would have talked about the music therapy involved in the “Remember Me” reprise. The reason Mama Coco remembers is because music memory is one of the last portions of the brain untouched by dementia. Playing songs that were popular when the person with dementia was young (adolescence to early adulthood) reignites the brain momentarily, which can lead to a period of lucidity. It’s beautiful to witness. “Alive Inside” is a documentary that depicts this phenomenon very well.

[@bentoenjes6553]

I did that the last time I saw my grandma before she died. I played and sang “Thats Amore” by Dean Martin (it was her wedding anniversary song). The second it started her eyes lit up and she remembered the song and everyone around her. When it ended, her eyes clouded over and she forgot everything again. It was sweet and sad at the same time.

[@HunterDriguez]

Well…then I guess I’ll be singing “Bring me to life” by Evanescence when my dementia hits.

[@aiiiia9971]

Yeah! I wish they had talked about this

[@evabailey3860]

My grandmother was like that when I played piano for her

[@Hamgeonkat]

I work in a senior living community in the dementia/Alzheimer's area and this is 100% true. Residens light up and sing "How much is that doggy in the window", "fly me to theoon", and "where the buffalo roam". It's beautiful to watch and participate with them.

[@trinaq]

I love how this movie touches upon mature topics like death, loss, grief and regrets, similar to Soul, and doesn't dumb it down for kids. It understands that they're smart enough to relate to these heavy themes, since they'll be facing them at some point during their lives.

[@coryarteaga97]

It's the mexican way 🧡

[@Firegen1]

Beautifully put, Trina

[@emanueltorres894]

Another person that work in animation and didn't talk down to kids was actually Charles Schulz, the creator of The Peanuts, I know it's crazy but, Coco's topics remaided me so much of his later work.

[@trinaq]

@@Firegen1 Thanks so much, I love chatting with you this side of KZbin! 😘💞

[@erikkennedy8725]

The best media for kids- books, movies, etc. has never dumbed it down, but assumed they could understand it. And they do. As a father I very much know how smart kids are, and treating them with respect and love and acknowledging them as a mature person in their own right will always be the right way to build them up.

[@daniellebourgeon8066]

Fun fact: the animators perfectly animated the guitar playing. Every time someone plays the guitar on screen they are playing the actual notes of the music you are hearing. Also, the song Imelda sings at the concert, La Llorona (The Weeping Woman), is a Mexican folk song of a ghost of a woman who roams water fronts after drowning her two children and then drowns herself because she was unable to save them after she realizes what she was doing--very metaphorically appropriate for her character

[@IntelR]

Not really sure about that, the scene where Miguel plays for coco have some nonsense chords on it.

[@daniellebourgeon8066]

@@IntelR interesting; I'll have to rewatch that scene. I know when he's playing with the videos of Ernesto in the beginning it's the correct fingering.

[@IntelR]

​@@daniellebourgeon8066 MY MISTAKE, actually I've learned it in a different way

[@maycri9]

Not that llorona. It's a folk song that originated in the southern state of oaxaca, mex about a couple that didn't have their happy ending. The man was recruited in war, and the woman vowed to wait for him but he never returned. Very fitting nonetheless.

[@sober_katz]

i remember hearing about that story in a comic :D

[@Animorpha1]

As a Native, as a Apache, this movie hit things that isn’t talked about a lot. I have a lot of generational trauma. My great great Grandmama, had to hide that she was Apache to survive. So that translated to the family. We’ve lost most of the traditions from that part of the family, until me. I went out of my way as a child to learn anything I could about being Native because it was a part my heritage that was lost but I wanted and want back.

[@markgarcia8253]

As a second gen Mexican, I feel your struggle as my family has never really been hardcore with the traditions (they were from Guadalajara, not some small village) and even less now 60 years later after immigrating. Even my great grandparents and their parents never even celebrated Día De Los Muertos.

[@rosaliecastro5997]

Same here. My great grandparents from Mexico spoke only Spanish. They fled the revolution and had my grandparents in America. The schools in El Paso at the time didn't allow students to speak Spanish. They were shamed. My grandparents were alcoholics. They didn't teach their children Spanish (my parents weren't allowed to speak Spanish in high school during the 70s) and as a result I don't speak it. Trauma is why we can't speak our language fluently.

[@StudioHannah]

I’m glad you’re able to reconnect with that part of you!

[@solfolgarait3745]

I relate to this a lot as a Jewish person. I've lost contact with my culture for this exact same reason, fear of persecution.

[@kimjennie6549]

im filipino and we lost our 'original' culture because of centuries of colonization, in the few writings about pre-colonial period, ive always wondered how life nowadays would be if we hadn't been colonized, writings always say that pre-colonial philippines' society had women in powerful positions, trans gods and goddesses, no homophobia and all equality.. completely different from today's world. the country just celebrated 500 years of Christianity and to be honest i don't think that's something to be celebrating about

[@laughsingay]

They're literally just showing fragments of the movie and I'm still crying.

[@maddestmads]

Same lmao 😭

[@KittyKat94]

Same honestly.

[@finaya]

me too, this movie I-

[@Creecher98]

Same haha. I was right there with them .

[@InuDemon]

Same! 😭

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

I love how this movie doesn’t pick a side of "your elders always know best" or "follow your dreams". It goes for a more simple, "your parents are going to be stupid and petty sometimes."

[@trinaq]

Likewise, it doesn't condemn any of its characters for their beliefs, which is nothing short of refreshing.

[@Thebigcoffee]

Yeah and that's why I love it

[@Colopty]

@@trinaq Well, except for Ernesto but that guy deserves the condemnation.

[@racheljackson4428]

ha ha yeah. Arthur and DW's parents are so petty you NEED to watch one of the most infamous episodes in history: Arthur's big hit.

[@strawberryckes]

The part that always makes me cry (and my mom too) is the part where Hector sings Remember Me and it cuts to him singing it to Coco. My heart every time breaks..He never got to say goodbye to his daughter. And that haunted him for years after he died.

[@FantasyAddict95]

For almost 100 years too. Dang.

[@esraa2235]

Me too, I feel broken every time 😪

[@alexpeterson124]

That part, and when Hector realizes he was murdered

[@singingofsilver]

@@alexpeterson124 and he didn't even know his death wasn't his fault. He thought he'd been an idiot and choked and that's why he never got to see his family again in life, but when it's revealed he was murdered Hector realises he's spent a century blaming himself for nothing.

[@ShadowyFox_86]

And to think, he heard Ernesto become so popular that Hector never could never escape the song about missing his daughter. For decades, he watched everyone mimic that song and had to endure the pain that he never got back to Coco. That's the part that always hits me hard.

[@jjohansen86]

It's not really the point, but as you're talking about how Coco was a girl who grew up and lived a life and missed her Papa after he disappeared... realizing that, as she's starting to succumb to dimentia, that thought of her Papa coming home is one of the things that she still keeps hold of... it's really heartbreaking that she missed out on that for several decades, and it really makes de la Cruz all the more despicable in my eyes. Because he didn't "just" murder someone, he disrupted those relationships, and left a daughter and a father missing each other for most of a century. On the flip side, that tells you how important everyone is, that it's not "just" them, it's all the people they're connected to.

[@marissagalletta4452]

That was very deep and insightful. Thank you ☺️

[@broadwaybrook2319]

And what's even more heartbreaking is that Abuela (Coco's daughter) was trying to make her FORGET the thought of her father coming back to her, which, like you said, is one of the things that she still keeps hold of. She was trying to make her forget what was still left of her memory

[@Sam-lb8xs]

@@broadwaybrook2319 And I can't help but wonder how Elena (Abuela) reacted to the revelations about her mother's father, that she was wrong about him all her life and that she had been persecuting an innocent man all that time.

[@broadwaybrook2319]

@@Sam-lb8xs Therefore, Día de los Muertos was even more meaningful to her after that

[@ryanthelancemain3871]

This reminds me of my own interpretation of death. Disclaimer: everyone is allowed to hold whichever beliefs they want, this is just mine. I never really believed in an after life. I've always just imagined that whenbyiu die, it kinda just... ends. No second life, nk further existence, not even just black and silence. Literal non existence. And while that may seem dark, I believe that while your existence ends, the things you've done and the people you've touched will always be a part of the world. If you taught a son how to ride a bike, you sort of vontinue to live through hjs knowledge of bike riding. Every impact you have had on the world or the people in your life are still impacted by it. Even if you try to teach someone something, and they don't use that knowledge in any meaningful way, you still told it to them, and it is a thing that they have experienced and can use in conjunction with other knowledge they can gather in the world. The connections and interactions we have with people don't simply cease to have happened. Oh my.. i wrote a lot... thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[@ellieoutnumbered1375]

I love how at the very end, Hector has shoes. A huge symbol of his shoemaker family finally accepting him back.

[@JaneXemylixa]

Guess who the novelization says made them? Imelda did :')

[@meaganwebb3554]

Awww I never noticed that that's so sweet

[@kryxena]

Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't realized! Love this!

[@kittyloverandcat66]

I never noticed that!! Brilliant!!! Love it when writers put so much attention to detail no matter how small

[@lemmetakeurvideo]

Growing up as a Hispanic child, when the grandma goes from breaking the guitar and switches to being super sweet breaks my heart. Definitely brings back sucky memories.

[@launachtyr]

I wish they had talked about that. It's incredibly toxic to destroy someone's property and then act like everything is fine. That part of the movie made me so angry.

[@TBT707]

@@launachtyr i know!! Even we have limits, i feel like the mom or dad some should have spoken up, Hes a child. I get that this is a movie but i still would have like to see that. Thats just going way to far;_;

[@notyourtherapist21]

Omg we have the same kind of behaviour in Indian families as well. Them acting like nothing bad happened, and then playing the victim when you call them out on it, god damn that hurts so bad. So many of these memories, makes me feel like I'm damaged beyond repair.

[@xkathygee]

How much time he must've put into this guitar. I can't imagine the rage if someone broke my violin on purpose, and I didn't build it from scratch.

[@unintrigued3647]

ON GOD DUDE! I got so mad

[@MaoiJo]

I didn’t see any comments bring this up, but music therapy studies how the music we’re around becomes deeply intertwined with emotions and memories. Many patients with memory loss have inexplicably perfect memory when it comes to songs, lyrics, and even how to play them. My mother is a music therapist and has seen this first hand and told me about it, so we both teared up hardcore when we saw Coco in theaters.

[@johntetreault4491]

I am a Hospice chaplain and I have seen the transformative power of music to help people in memory care units connect with memories that were deeply dug but inaccessible to them, until they hear the music of their youth it truly is amazing. Having a parent or grant parent have a few lucid moments after years of not remembering their family members is a great gift.

[@svenmorgenstern9506]

Oh yeah - I've worked as a CNA and as an LVN in nursing homes; wanna reach your residents, play their favorite music! And, for a world-class example, look for videos of Glen Campbell - suffering from dementia & still could play guitar like nobody's business. 🎸

[@mysticmoth1111]

this is interesting to read. my memory is unreliable but put on a song i havent heard in 20 years and ill know all the words 😅

[@yelsahblah3270]

This is because music is not present in the language center of the brain. It transcends verbal communication because it's more than just words. It's actually a very interesting study, the way music affects our brains.

[@kida1734]

My mom doesn't have dementia or memory loss thank goodness, but she hardly remembers anything from before she was 6 years old. One day, while we were walking, we passed by an old man that tried to stir up a conversation, neither me or mom recognized him so we kept walking, apologizing saying we didnt have time, etc. THIS until he started singing something and all of the sudden my mom wips around and sings the rest with him, according to her, the moment he started singing, she suddenly got a memory of when she was very little (3-4 years old) of him when he was younger, singing that song to her and her dancing to it. It's incredible how it can stir up memories you think were long forgotten.

[@MC_lupin]

That acoustic “Remember Me” sure packs a punch harder than that dramatic flirtatious version

[@keziaburrows3554]

A genuine song written for (and sung to) a loved one is always better than any fancy version 🥰

[@hanna-writes]

Very true, and I think part of the reason it hits so hard is how it was first introduced. We hear Ernesto's version of the song over and over and over again, and it's a good song, but we become used to it and after a while it blends into the background, and we just sort of accept it as part of the movie's "scenery". When it suddenly steps forward onto center stage, and our whole perception of the song is completely reframed, it carries a lot more emotional weight than it would if we were being introduced to a completely new song. It's an all around amazing film--I bawl at that final scene between Coco and Miguel every time.

[@PoeticProse7]

As if it is played on heart strings.

[@sunfurycommenting1013]

I think it also shows the difference between Hector and Ernesto in what they value. Ernesto didn't understand the heart of the song or why it was special because he wanted only to be remembered for his own glory. So he made his version glorious and grand to celebrate himself. Hector meanwhile wrote the song for his daughter and only wanted to be remembered by her so they could be together in heart and mind even when he wasn't there for her. His version (as the true version) captures the love that Ernesto's did not, for it was not meant to glorify the singer, but to tell the listener that they are loved. Ernesto never loved anyone but himself, and that's why his rendition lacked the emotional punch entirely. At least that's what I think.

[@mumenRhyder]

@@sunfurycommenting1013 oh yeah, it's the same song but the intention and delivery of the song is what makes it so heart warming

[@twix5140]

i think that a part that always hurts to see for me is when after Elena destroys Miguel’s guitar she immediately goes to “let’s eat with the family” as a way to comfort him. my parents always did that whenever they hurt us, without a word just hand us a plate as a peace offering and walk away after. no apology, no actual talk about what happened, no acknowledgment of anything. when i was younger i always saw it as a means to shut us up and a reminder that at that age i was essentially helpless and need them and what they provided for me so i needed to let it go.

[@Kat-tr2ig]

My family did that too, and now we all have eating disorders because we look to food for comfort.

[@Asril24]

Yes, like... yeah.

[@infinikki]

My mom always did the same. Every time i was hurt, got sick, etc, she made food. Now i can't shake the urge to eat sugary food when I'm bored, depressed, upset, sick, anything. Thanks mom 🙃

[@ADeL-xp2hv]

My mom did the same... She'd walk away from an uncomfortable situation. I once tried to address it and talk about it as a teen, and she told me to drop it and walked away. I refused to and apologized to her for talking back (something I had never done before then) but also explained to her why and how I felt about it. I'd like to believe that was the first step for healing and breaking the cycle of not confronting the problem but rather face them. My mom broke my grandma's cycle of abuse and preference toward her sons. We now are more open about our feelings and emotions and she's actually apologized for mistakes she made when I was growing up. I'm a mother now so I understand where she was coming from and I told her she doesn't need to apologize, she was doing her best. We're not perfect but we've come a long way.

[@monicasalasviquez673]

It's very common in latino households and from what i've heard from friends, it is also common in asian households. They will scold the living jesus out of you, punish you, maybe (probably) hit you then leave you to lick your wounds and ponder how they hate and then come to get you all "la comida está servida. Vamos". They even get offended if you so much as consider not going to eat with them after what they just put you through.

[@jazminetillman4568]

The scene where Coco reveals that she kept the picture of Hector for years was so beautiful and heartbreaking when you think about it. The picture was probably torn by her mother (who was hurting), but she still kept it and cherished it. And even when she saw the rest of her family badmouth Hector and ban music, she knew deep down that he still loved her.

[@Rrrbril4]

1.3k likes and no replies? sad, ill fix that, and also that might also be a new kind of perspective into Coco's character, its a nice comment.

[@megangass5316]

The really sad part is that she was probably as bent against music as the others until she started losing memories and went back to childhood.

[@gracecodd4378]

It's like she felt like she had to hide the picture for all those years, even from generations that came after her, which is the most heartbreaking thing imo

[@Furienna]

@@gracecodd4378 Yeah, it is weird that Coco didn't change things after Imelda died and had to leave that job to her twelve-year-old great-grandson. But there's a novelization of the movie, that explains that a bit. Apparently, Coco had indeed rebelled against her mother in her youth until she hurt her ankle when she was out dancing. After that, she decided to fall into line except that she still kept her keepsakes after her father and sang for Miguel when he was a baby. Thus his love for music was born and made it possible for him to break the vicious cycle within the family. And it also explains why Miguel was so close to Coco and cared so much about her even after she went senile...

[@lulolie]

The scene with coco remembering is impossible not to cry at. The pain and joy in her eyes as her mother finally remembers her after *years* of not knowing who she is. That first scene with the "Who are you?" is played for laughs, but if you really think about it, it's heartbreaking. Her own mother doesn't know who she is. Coco isn't the only one who lost a parent because of De la Cruz's actions. Elena lost a parent too, up till that scene. Absolutely heartwrenching and beautiful to see her get her back.

[@ysgramornorris2452]

"Even if it's just one person in the audience" Cue me thinking of that one skeleton who absolutely loved the accordion.

[@mumenRhyder]

That scene was so cute 😂 I love that guy

[@PolliitoAle]

lmao I remembered him too!! missed opportunity, really, not using that clip right there xd

[@Bllue]

I'm cracking up so hard rn

[@skullygem3057]

I love Disney's new obsession with exploring family dynamics and different kinds of love that aren't always romantic. And I can never get enough of watching two non toxic men feel feelings over an animated movie. Best way to start my day. PLEASE do Luca.

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

We just shot an episode on Luca last week! Won't be out for a couple months, but it's coming. :)

[@apostatelizzy6836]

@@CinemaTherapyShow omg, I can’t wait! Looking forward to that episode! 🥰

[@apostatelizzy6836]

@@hest6587 are you fucking serious? Tell me you’re racist without telling me you’re racist…

[@LI-vt2kf]

@@hest6587 we had white characters for 50 years. Maybe let other people have their moment too. If they can watch and love your white princesses, you should be able to watch non white people and Disney princesses in movies, too. I don’t know where you live but most societies are very diverse and it is only right to show exactly that in movies. How ignorant can you be..

[@onijester56]

@@hest6587 I mean, even if we assume we won't get any more Caucasian protagonists in Pixar films, which is a hefty assumption...it's not like you can't put "Up!" or "Toy Story" or "Inside Out" into your DVD player. The world isn't composed solely of people with light whitish-pink skin...and denying representation of the diversity of humanity because you think other people, people different from you for this or that reason, being treated with respect somehow takes away respect from you paints you as kinda...the nice word is "bigoted.

[@Jerjare]

An important detail regarding intergenerational trauma: Hector Rivera got seen as a villain to the point his family would refuse to utter his name. We know they were shoemakers but have no idea how successful they were or how much they enjoyed doing it. But think about it - every time they struggled financially, every time they felt held down by upholding this family 'tradition' they had someone to blame, the deadbeat musician who abandoned them. Hector, and by extension music itself became a focal point for their frustration and disappointment in life. This probably was the reason his grandkids and great grandkids carried this grudge so readily.

[@arthas640]

I thought about the same thing when i rewatched the movie. We later see 80s and 90s era computers in the afterlife in the decapitated immigration offices (which all look 20+ years old) and when we first see Ernesto De La Cruz's party we see 2000s or 2010s era DJ's and sound mixing equipment, and even Coco's mom seems aware of computers (even though she'd probably be over 100). At the same time when we first see Miguel and his family's home, and their home town we mostly see 1940s and 1950s era cars and stuff. The family all make shoes by hand with a 40s era radio playing in their work room and a single ancient al metal desk fan (again, probably from the 40s or 50s) running in the no doubt hot as hell mexican weather. Even Miguel looks out of time, he has modern clothes (hoodie, t shirt, jeans) but his favorite music and movies are from the 40s. This all paints the picture of them living in crushing poverty (and thus mostly making do with old scavenged crap) despite everyone obviously working hard in the family business, living together in 1 house, and being smart with their money (the grandmother even says not to name the stray dog so it doesnt follow Miguel, which leads me to believe they couldnt afford to feed it).

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

@@arthas640 the details all create this picture this context in our unconscious mind whilst watching the film. I wonder why somtimes we already know so much if the story of the setting and the people without really being told yet by the dialogue but nothing is unintentional and our mind has been programmed to pick up on these things growing up with films.

[@Meraxes6]

@@arthas640 The effects of Hector's murder echo down the generations, it's basically the reason Miguel is expected to become a shoemaker.

[@mmartinez9764]

True, it's a common theme. Something we can fully understand about problems we try to pinpoint on a person or people. Once we have out target we vilify it. All of a sudden we seem good to ourselves.

[@lamorach]

This reminds me of holes

[@pdruiz2005]

At 21:37. The animators were very smart here. These two are stuck in a large cave with a circular opening and a small lake at the bottom called a "cenote." They're quite common in the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico. In ancient Maya myth, "cenotes" were openings to the underground land of the dead. So "cenotes" became very sacred spots for the ancient Maya, as sites of pilgrimage and sacrifices to ancestral spirits and the gods of the underworld. The fact that Miguel and his great-grandpa make this crucial familial connection in a "cenote" is not a coincidence--it highlights the importance of "cenotes" in Mexico's historic culture that venerates the dead.

[@lilastormsend4537]

I dont know how that formation is pronounced, but if it is how i think it is, it also sounds like C Note, which could be a reference to music too

[@isaiahayers1550]

It would be pronounced "seh-NOH-teh" more or less. The beginning of the last syllable is almost like the beginning of "think" but not quite. We don't really have it in English.

[@Shadow1Yaz]

Fun fact, the ofrenda works on intent. The pictures aren’t necessary for the spirits to cross over as long as you’re thinking of them and leave something for them. Pictures go up for respect and visuals. Otherwise, what happened to spirits before pictures were invented? People have been dying before pictures were invented.

[@ma.2089]

That and some Mexican cultures/different geological locations don’t use offrendas

[@JeanaKalvaris]

That's really interesting, thinking like that it still makes sense too that hector can't cross over. They never left any offerings for him and only thought of him in hatred if they thought of him at all

[@lamplol7120]

@@ma.2089 oh I just thought they put paintings instead of pictures

[@deon700]

Isn't this kinda explained by Hector still existing because Coco remembered him, and as she was losing her memory, he was fading?

[@Colopty]

@@deon700 Yep the memory is what's important to keep existing in skeleton land, but the offrenda is what acts as the invitation to visit the living.

[@doloreslehmann8628]

This whole "they want their kids to have stability" really hit me. My mother wanted to be a singer all her life, but her parents forced her to learn something "real". She's become a great teacher, but never forgot her original dream. At the age of 40, she finally started with singing lessons, and now she's been doing this as a second profession for years. And still, when she came to give me advice about my future carreer, despite her own experience, she'd encourage me to learn something "real", too, and so instead of becoming a writer, like I wanted, I became a translator. Really crappy decision. Now that I'm well in my forties, I'm still trying to turn the thing around and become a writer. So, when the day comes that my daughters want advice from me, all I'll say is: "Do whatever your heart is burning for!"

[@aiiiia9971]

And thusly the cycle breaks with you!

[@missnaomi613]

As someone who was discouraged from going after my dream of performing for the same reason and managed to end up homeless anyway, I would encourage everyone to go after their dreams.

[@TherealDanielleNelson]

I also wanted to become a writer, instead I'm a dishwasher. But I write stories and things in my spare time. I have a 40 some so far chapter story that I'm working on. :-)

[@Itachilover1210000]

My parents told me:"Follow your dream but be sure to have a plan B." Not always do our dreams come true but we should have another plan to back us up, maybe for reaching the dream.

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

@@missnaomi613 how are you doing now if you don't mind? I think the tricky part is finding a dream. Or having something you wish to develop in yourself that you feel is purposeful especially right now thete is a lot but we might not find something that we can see ourselves a part of with something that we can offer towards it either.

[@emmahos2241]

When this movie came out I wasn't allowed to watch it because it didn't line up with my parents religious beliefs. Now I am 18 and after 2 years of family therapy we can all sit and watch this movie together as a family. This movie hold's such a special place in my heart because of that. Therapy does work and your family can heal

[@reptiliannoizezz.413]

What did they think of it?

[@emmahos2241]

@@reptiliannoizezz.413 They really liked it😊

[@reptiliannoizezz.413]

@@emmahos2241 Good to hear

[@brick.jonas1]

That's how my girlfriend's family is. They got mad at her when she told them that we went to watch it in theaters

[@sin3358]

Not always sadly... But I'm happy to hear it worked out for you and your family! This movie is a favorite of mine also. I don't relate to that family closeness but I relate to Miguel's struggle for independence, and it's very special seeing it through the lens of a child

[@Fender2300DC]

I am a music therapist who works with seniors with Alzheimer’s/Dementia and Pixar truly captured the transition from being stuck in the disease to when she becomes oriented to reality again from the music. The subtle changes in facial expression as she recognizes the song and her sweet, gentle smile bring tears to my eyes every time. I am so blessed to do the work I do and have the opportunity to bring music to people like Mama Coco. Thank you for your take on this beautiful movie!

[@teresamariaribeiro6800]

I didn't know that what they did in the film could happen in real life and now as a musician + scientist I am extremely interested!!! Can you point me to any papers or resources that explain the topic?

[@noiamnotaweasley3920]

@@teresamariaribeiro6800the KZbin channel Sideways has a video essay on it, and I think he cites a paper or two.

[@acedelta12]

"We keep people alive by remembering them." Yes. 100% this. People have two deaths: Their physical death, and being forgotten. In some cases, certain people can be immortal.

[@hunterv9983]

@@implodingcolon1058 Unfortunately. But we must remember him to remind us why such charismatic evil must never achieve national leadership again.

[@implodingcolon1058]

@@hunterv9983 bruh look around. You have at least a handful of little Hitlers running countries throughout the world. They're not the first and won't be the last

[@hunterv9983]

@@implodingcolon1058 You are right there will always be charismatic leaders willing to destroy their nations for power. There will always be leaders who will drag their nations into terrible wars. It's a wonder that there is not a global spanning war yet. We'd be lucky if the beligerents don't employ nuclear bombs.

[@AllenGray47]

@@implodingcolon1058 I really didn't expect that, it actually made me laugh

[@cha0s933]

Have to start collecting pictures and stories asap

[@7bookwrm]

When Coco came out my mother was slipping into FTD (Fronto-Temporal Dimentia) and watching this movie WRECKED me. Like my kid was like "mom, are you okay?" I was crying so loud. I was not okay. Unhelped by the fact my father had died the year before. I ugly cry every time I watch this.

[@erwinguerra3981]

I watched this with my 2 year old daughter. My grandma passed away from COVID the same year we watched it. And it just brings me to tears every time. It helped me cope with her death. I didn’t think I’d like the movie and it turned out to be such a powerful message that I ugly cry every time I watch it too 😂

[@SirJ-qq3ye]

Did you watch manolo? It cane out a few months earlier and is als8 amazing

[@cotevallejos7230]

I hope both of you are doing better now 🥺 Sending you a big hug!

[@staceyboomboom8031]

My daughter's Dad died when she was 2 , I lost my Dad and my Grandmother and this song gets to me like no other

[@xXGabrielTrapXx]

I wouldn't stop crying, everyday i worry my grandmother is going to start forgetting us and that thought, just the possibility breaks my heart

[@goodgirl140]

My grandma doesn’t remember me. She has dementia, and she usually asks me who I am. It’s painful to think that she doesn’t remember a whole lifetime of memories we share together. But the thing about dementia, is that you can have good days and bad days. Every once and a while, she remembers who I am. She still thinks I’m in high school, but I don’t care. On her good days, I just try to reminisce with her, and talk about our memories together, never sure if we’re going to be able to talk about them again. So whenever I watch Coco, and I hear “Remember Me” I ugly cry in my home. It has special meaning to me.

[@toshirodragon]

One of my friends has a mother with dementia. Some days she thinks I am one of her classmates. At first I was a bit upset by that, but lately instead I respond with "And you remember all the trouble we used to get into, Rebecca?" And she'll laugh for a few minutes. I don't know or even care what she's thinking, she's happy for a minute or two.

[@cleolee1352]

I just lost my grandmother to dementia after she suffered 2 major strokes. She certainly had her good and bad days. This movie made me cry even before this, but worse now. #CryingWithEveryone

[@daffyrwt]

Just over a year ago my family found out my dad became ill with dementia and it's been relatively rough but manageable. I balled the first time I saw Coco back when it first came out, now after the events of a year plus I'm balling even harder during that Remember Me scene. Hope your grandma has many more good days left for you share with her.

[@jainthorne4136]

I lost my mother to dementia years before she died. It was hard until I realized that I could remember for the both of us. So, we would sit and talk and I would tell her stories of our times together. I didn't say "Don't you remember?". Instead I said let me tell you about something I remember.

[@clarisa6511]

what I've learned from dementia is that even though they forget who you are, they don't forget the love they have for you

[@Spaceisprettybig]

9:13 "The fact that we're four generations deep on 'all music is bad because of this one guy' is... that's a movie" -Alan 18:29 "My mom doesn't want me to be a director because my great grandparents survived the depression" -Also Alan

[@Furienna]

What I think is the difference is that Alan's mother isn't against him directing movies in particular. She's against her son having an financially "unsafe" profession in general, which makes it a bit less over the top.

[@karnunnos7413]

I remember when I saw this movie at the theatre, during the scene when Miguel and Hector said that they were proud to be in the same family, there was a little girl who was crying and to her dad :"Why did you make me go watch this movie ?!". a lot of people in the theatre laughed.

[@squarebear619]

Lol, reminds me of when my mom took me to see The Little Mermaid. I was 3 and I remember that I was feeling sick and during the movie I loudly said, I wanna go home! 😂 I love the movie but that was not a good time.

[@ConvenientlyShapedUsername]

Sometimes people are okay x')

[@joeldykman7591]

My family watched this in theatres during thanksgiving. I swear, the last act of the movie was just a guantlet in trying not to cry.

[@greenlilac32]

Me, my aunt and my grandma were watching this movie when we got to the part where Miguel is singing to his great grandmother and my aunt and I were crying. Right then my cousin walks in and is like “what the, why is everyone crying?” And we just cracked up laughing lol

[@broadwaybrook2319]

When Imelda starts singing "La Llorona" while Miguel's trying to get away from her, after he said, "You'll never understand!", it gets deeper when you understand that Imelda is basically La Llorona, and she's expressing to him the impact that music (from Héctor leaving her) had on her.

[@aliyahpulido953]

The full lyrics of "La Llorona" are: Ay, de mí, llorona Llorona de azul celeste Ay, de mí, llorona Llorona de azul celeste Y aunque la vida me cueste llorona No dejaré de quererte No dejaré de quererte Me subí al pino más alto llorona A ver si te divisaba Me subí al pino más alto llorona A ver si te divisaba Como el pino era tierno, llorona Al verme llorar, lloraba Como el pino era tierno, llorona Al verme llorar, lloraba La pena y la que no es pena llorona Todo es pena para mí La pena y la que no es pena llorona Todo es pena para mí Ayer lloraba por verte llorona Hoy lloro porque te vi Ayer lloraba por verte llorona Hoy lloro porque te vi Ay, de mí, llorona, llorona Llorona de azul celeste Ay, de mí, llorona, llorona Llorona de azul celeste Y aunque la vida me cueste llorona No dejaré de quererte Y aunque la vida me cueste llorona No dejaré de quererte No dejaré de quererte No dejaré de quererte Ay, ay, ay, ¡a-jajaja! The chorus, "Y aunque la vida me cueste llorona, No dejaré de quererte," translate to "Even if it costs me my life, llorona (crying or sad woman), I will never stop loving you." This reflects how even though Hector died and spent multiple decades in the Land of the Dead, or basically purgatory (even if it's a happy one) wanting to see his family again but unable to because everyone was deliberately trying to forget him, Hector never stopped loving Imelda. And even though she was angry and hurt by him leaving and never coming back, she still loves him.

[@tillie3545]

Just a fact: the song it is not about the legend of la Llorona. It was written by Chavela Vargas, dedicated to Frida Khalo after her death. Chavela was in love with her.

[@aliyahpulido953]

@@tillie3545 That just made it cooler to me! I had no idea.

[@dustyrose192]

Does la llorona mean crybaby?

[@tillie3545]

@@dustyrose192 No, it depends on the context. In this case, I have seen that la Llorona is called The Weeping Woman in English.

[@xxTC-96xx]

I loved how you really feel those fatherly vibes from Hector pretty much right away when he starts interacting with Miguel, even when he's performing on stage you see those tiny moments like Hector giving Miguel little directions and telling him he's proud, getting worried when Miguel wanders off out of sight. It's nice little touches that make the big reveal that much nicer watching through again knowing their connection

[@sarahbrand9747]

Thought the exact same thing watching the clips in this video, and definitely need to rewatch the whole movie again now!

[@Sam-lb8xs]

It totally fits Hector's character! He is truly un papá through and through, since he's tried for almost a century to see his hijita at least one more time. ...Héctor's story keeps breaking my heart! He suffers so much pain and degradation (often self-imposed) all because he just wants to go home to his family...!

[@Merrygate_]

It's the "I'm proud of you" that really gets me It's the first time someone's told Miguel they're proud of him for his music

[@AmyRose7771]

I always thought it was so cute with the subtle direction to spin

[@piiptilter6114]

I don’t know why, but when I saw him on the bridge my first thought was “that’s the dad.” So for me it wasn’t much of a reveal 😝

[@ugtirian4]

You guys wanna talk about how much attention to detail Pixar gives? I like how the abuela says “calmeSE” when talking to her mom. With the “se” it shows that she’s talking to an elder or someone she respects. When she talks to Miguel she always talks in the tú versions of the verbs. Little too for ya boys! 💯

[@cintsscha5899]

Great attention to detail indeed!

[@kittyrodriguez8902]

Has anyone else ever felt ultra annoyed with how, like Miguel’s grandmother, after basically destroying his confidence and dreams by destroying his guitar, she notices he’s sad and tries to comfort him as if it wasn’t that serious for him? As if she didn’t just openly make him feel horrible and belittled? This has happened to me before where I’ve been talked down so far that my parents think they can steer me towards where they want now that I’m emotionally vulnerable and I just go along with it because in some ways they’ve broken me. Is that not problematic, maybe almost gaslighting? I love this movie and I cry every time but I can’t help but feel icky whenever that scene happens.

[@X-SPONGED]

That's Asian Parenting for ya I can relate to that scene too deeply (I think I even still have scars from my childhood)

[@auggiejaime3820]

Bro same here. I was furious at the grandma for destroying Miguel's guitar and when he cried, she acted like it was nothing, she's very toxic to do something like that since toxic people do that. It's a good thing she learned to accept music instead of carrying her toxicity on others.

[@drendraleigh4722]

And the consequence of that is he ran away from home. I think it's harsh but as someone who had experienced that, it's not really problematic, it shows how doing that to kid, make it looks like nothing happened didn't ACTUALLY make the child felt like nothing happened. It indeed is gaslighting, but it's one of the the thing that actually happen, like...all the time. I feel like it's nice of them to show that after she did that, she actually lose her grandson(although just a few days)

[@Sam-lb8xs]

You're not the only one who feels incredulous outrage there. Elena deserved to have him run off right after she destroyed something that mattered to him. And all the times that she blindly upheld an absurd ban even to her own mother who was fragile and hoping to see her papá again...! And that Elena has the audacity to tell Miguel to apologize-! SHE is the the one who has to apologize. HER actions made him run away. And I'm just glad that Enrique finally stood up to his mother for the sake of his son. I'm glad that she finally came around and learned to accept music. I'd have liked to see her reaction to the revelation that she was wrong about Héctor all her life, that he was truly trying to come home.

[@ericktellez7632]

That’s probably common in a lot of families now that I am an adult maybe its because they feel that they know better and you don’t understand that they are actually trying to protect you, maybe thats why the sudden change of emotions

[@simonelott3403]

When Miguel said "I don't wanna pick sides. Why cant you be on my side?" Always struck me.

[@Bobo-Nose]

Me too.

[@brie1658]

Little thing about the “remember me” scene… Music is literally used to help people with dimentia. Demented people who are being “treated”, they get a playlist from when they were younger. When they listen to it, they get lively again and start to remember. The youtube channel of Sideways made a more in-depth video about it

[@raindownonme21]

My dad got a rare form of dementia quite young (symptoms became impossible to ignorable at 59, he just passed last month at 65) and a few years ago when we took him to the Rocketman movie (Elton John biopic) it was kind of funny in a sweet way because by that point he wasn't speaking much (the dementia affected the speech/communication part of his brain, he couldn't hold conversations, got to the point where he would only respond to specific questions and such answers got increasingly garbled as time went on, ended up going mute in his final weeks) but whenever the music would start he was singing along, words clear as day, and he would even sing subsequent lines after the song was done in whatever scene we were watching. Even though he's always been beyond tonedeaf, and we were in a movie theater surrounded by strangers. Music therapy is so fascinating, that part of your brain is with you the longest and it's amazing to watch such therapy work its magic.

[@AprilMalady1]

Sideway has a lot of good videos. The Coco one is one of the best. Enjoy: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rGjJoKSMhrODmbM

[@brie1658]

@@AprilMalady1 thanks for putting the link😊

[@brie1658]

@@raindownonme21 awww :) that's really sweet

[@DaDunge]

Me and my mom used to sing with my grandmother once she started slipping.

[@clairejones624]

I love the scene when Imelda smacks her boot at Ernesto and says “That’s for murdering the love of my life!” And Hector says “I’m the love of your life?” And Imelda replies with “I don’t know I’m still angry at you.” It shows that although she has a hard time forgiving Hector and is mad at him, she still loves him but is reluctant to admit that. The fact that they reconciled a year later is beautiful. The song Imelda sang on stage is very fitting for her character. I find that scene very beautiful. The way she jumped into Hector’s arms and laughed and said “I forgot how it felt like.” Really touched me. The way Hector tries to make amends with Imelda and shows his care for her by doing little actions like when Ernesto pushes Imelda and he cries out for her or when he tried helping her get her costume off or when she tried helping her off Peptita. And Imelda does the same back to him. It shows that they still care deeply about each other even though they both got separated from each other for many years and were hurt due to a misunderstanding. I feel like this isn’t talked about a lot as it isn’t the main focus however I loved this part of the movie. I also love this couple as it shows that differences attract. Imelda is stubborn, impatient, strong-willed, has a big personality, ambitious, independent, hard-working, fiercely loyal, a bit snappy and a little bossy, strong, etc. While Hector is patient, calm, humorous, shy, sweet, caring, kind, friendly, a little silly, a little irresponsible, spontaneous, loyal, trusting, fun, creative, thoughtful, a little gullible, etc. I love this dynamic. They are very sweet characters. These two are my favourite characters in the movie. Best movie ever. I’m obsessed with this movie and these two characters.

[@FulcanMal]

"Three generations believed music was wrong because of one guy...thats a movie." The christian church I grew up in believed dancing was wrong. I had to hide my Dungeons and Dragons books from my parents because 60 minutes said it was evil. A checkout clerk at a gas station wouldn't ring me up for $6.66 . People are this ridiculous in real life.

[@broadwaybrook2319]

Kind of like "Footloose"

[@brigidtheirish]

I am so glad I'm Catholic. And the *sane* kind of Catholic.

[@MASTEROFEVIL]

@@brigidtheirish What's the inside Catholic?

[@saprin4631]

Life is stranger than fiction could ever be.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@MASTEROFEVIL You mean insane? Well, there are Catholics who think they're holier than the pope. They tend to get some odd ideas along with completely rejecting Vatican II. Admittedly, we had a bit of a mess with that, but mostly because priests used it as an excuse to do whatever they wanted and hardly anyone bothered to actually *read* it to find out if what was being done "in the spirit of Vatican II" was actually *allowed.* But, yeah, I'm met Catholics who believe things like gambling are *always* a sin because someone they knew had a gambling addiction and the like. We're all human and just as prone to human failings as anyone else.

[@isaacyeon6334]

“You’re fluent in Russian we can watch Anastasia!” YES! PLEASE WATCH ANASTASIA!

[@bethelliot7140]

Yesssss!

[@abbyherold2905]

Yessssss!!!!!!

[@mxveewz]

absolutely yesssss!!!!

[@nessie968]

As a fellow russian, A BIG YEAH

[@GroovySulli]

Ehhh it’s a diet disney movie…really not that good but still has some artistic merit to it, not a lot but still some. If you guys end up doing that movie please be sure to mention and talk about the actual people, the real Anastasia and her family and the tragedy that was their execution and how still to this day her (or one of her sisters, most likely Maria, but just as easily can be Anastasia) and the last tsarevich; Alexei (Anastasia’s younger brother) have not been laid to rest with the rest of their family, who were interned in 1998. Their remains were discovered in 2007 (the rest of the family in the late 70s/ early 80s) and have been scientifically and forensically tested and proven to be the last two Romanov children. It is such a sad story, but it is interesting to see how myths form after a tragedy, and then form into new stories and perhaps even movies over the years, maybe its a way of coping as a community or culture. That would be pretty cool to turn into a cinema therapy episode, but it would be pretty hefty. Best not to try it, lol, I’m joking. But be warned with Anastasia! The nostalgia is strong with that one, and throwing a tidbit like that will only make people crave for it… incessantly.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I found that scene where Miguel’s grandmother smashed his guitar is really powerful not just her willing to destroy something he loves to prove a point, but his father who is against did not her to do this. That was heartbreaking. I liked how even when his father didn’t agree with him, he couldn’t bear seeing his son sad. It is difficult seeing your family want to break free from you.

[@SniperWolf895]

It both enraged and broke my heart. I hated her a few seconds after that.

[@trinaq]

Precisely, it was heartbreaking for everyone involved. Miguel because his family didn't support his dreams, Elena because she was only acting out of love for her grandson, and Enrique, for initially not standing up to his mother for her cruel actions, though he gets better later on.

[@sunfurycommenting1013]

I'm not sure she meant to do it. Similar to Stoik telling Hiccup he's not his son anymore, there's a moment where you see the shock and regret on her face. She also immediately tried to comfort Miguel. While it was still wrong of her, it looked like she did it in the heat of the moment and then realized the gravity of what she did. She still doubled down instead of apologizing, but I think it was more of an afterthought to help her reassure her own doubts on if she did the right thing. I think it's why it's easier to forgive her for it, even though it was a terrible act.

[@TheGabygael]

@@SniperWolf895 what i hated the most was her sudden change of face, she immediatly tries to comfort him and put it all behind as if it was just yet another childish tantrum, it speaks volumes of her character

[@christophermitchell8351]

I think this demonstrates what they were talking about with generational trauma. For Elena, the trauma was a lot closer, so her reaction was stronger. It's like killing a snake that's about to strike. For Miguel's father, the trauma is farther away and is more like tradition. There's less emotion behind his dislike of music. He would likely have just taken away the music and had a talking to him. He doesn't see it as a danger like Elena.

[@clairejones624]

I love how sweet Miguel is as a character. After so many years of Hector being neglected, Miguel was the only person who really saw who Hector really was. A person who really loves his family but is being overlooked. He empathises with him and tries to help him. Beautiful.

[@frankm.2850]

The peach fuzz visible on his face when he's blowing on the Coke bottle, but also THE COKE BOTTLE. Seriously, that looks like a 101% real object. Its absolutely nuts what they can do.

[@muurrarium9460]

I agree, I was for more impressed with the bottle than the tiny hairs.

[@ileanabriannemari]

Timestamp?

[@muurrarium9460]

@@ileanabriannemari You cannot be THAT lazy?

[@hypnotherapy69]

What really gets me EVERYTIME is that through the entire movie Hector is the only one without shoes, becuse he was cast out of his family and they are shoemakers but then in the end when he is welcomed back and you see them all cross the bridge they show him wearing shoes signefying he really is wellcomed as a partof his family.

[@Cara1616]

Omg I totally did not make that connection! Awesome. 😍

[@pimzaeVT]

can we take a moment to appreciate how excited Hector was to sing "Poco Loco" with him, instead of "Remember Me"? both of these songs were made by both Hector and De la Cruz but I bet he hears "Remember Me" all-the-time, and was finally happy to have the chance to preform Poco Loco, which he likely hasn't done for literal ages?

[@pimzaeVT]

ps: im over here ugly crying over coco again how dare you do this

[@smilegirl6429]

Also, De La Crap hadn't destroyed Un Poco Loco as much as he did Remember Me, so singing that didn't hit much of a sore spot.

[@neptune430]

Well, Remember me was only made by Hector for a lullaby to his daughter each time he went out to go practice music with De La Cruz. It just hits sorely when his secret song is now a big popular and public song and nobody knows the real meaning. They all just think, “Wow! That’s a great and catchy song! That’s what I can expect out of my favorite artist” unaware of it being stolen like everything else. Now Poco Loco is just a song that is sung without him, and like every other song, so yes he was joyful to play a song that was at least not Remember me.

[@rocalvo6588]

@@smilegirl6429 DE LA CRAP OMG I AM DYING!! 😂😂😂

[@reptiliannoizezz.413]

@@smilegirl6429 "De La Crap" lol

[@AKS-mp3vb]

I don't usually cry, but this got me. The singing to the grandma really got me good.

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Same 😭

[@teresaw2028]

Another thing that made Miguel's singing "Remember Me" to Mama Coco so beautiful: This is the first time the Rivera family started seeing music as a healing: when it helped her remember so much with just one song that had been dear to her for years. Exactly what makes music therapy so amazing and powerful. Exactly why people in nursing homes love it when carolers sing songs from their past (I've done caroling for Youth projects and have loved it every time)

[@broadwaybrook2319]

Yeah, this year, my grandpa's health was starting to decline, but my aunties and I would sing with him and he would sing back to us. My grandma also had dementia, so this movie really hits us cause we can relate

[@ashleypenn7845]

Our homeschool group went caroling at the assisted living facility before Covid happened. The older children sang and the younger kids handed out handcrafts and coloring pages the kids had done for the residents. Some were just so happy to see those little smiling faces cuz they have no other family to visit them. It was both heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time. I hope we get to do it again.

[@broadwaybrook2319]

@@ashleypenn7845 My grandparents on my dad's side, some family friends, and my family would also go caroling at an assisted living home near my grandparents' house. They always seemed so happy to have carolers come, especially since we started doing that when me and my brother were little. Like you're saying, they were happy to see little smiling faces cause they didn't have family that visited them

[@elizabethbrock4741]

The scene towards the end when Miguel plays “Remember Me” for Coco always hits me super hard. My grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease and over the seven or so years that she had it, she slowly forgot who each of us were. But sometimes I would play my violin for her or we would listen to music and it brought the joy back to her face and attitude, as if nothing was afflicting her. That’s one of the things about music that is so remarkable, it is a huge part of my life. Miguel singing to Coco always hits me so damn hard!

[@SvElAdKe]

Literally all I have to hear is the first few notes and the tears are already welling up

[@harvestmoon_autumnsky]

There was a great documentary on Netflix many years ago, I think called Alive Inside that talked about how music helps patients with dementia reconnect with their memories.

[@etherealtb6021]

Same. 😭

[@SansDemStrings]

Same! (Viola though 😅) playing or singing - it was the few times at the end of her life where she was not screaming (she lost her ability to speak coherently).

[@maryeleanor6896]

This really opened my eyes. My grandmother grew up in nazi Germany, and although she married a wealthy man, to this day she’s very OCD about money. It’s trickled down to my father, who never really had to worry about money, but still teaches us that spending money is bad, and that if we spend to much money we’ll end up homeless and starving. I know this is true to a point, but it always sounded kind of insane how far they took it, but lately I’ve been realizing I’m not immune to this. I get super anxious whenever I spend any money, and feel guilty afterward. This really gave me perspective, and showed me how we all need to be mindful of this culture, and learn to grow past it.

[@jenniferhiemstra5228]

It’s funny how that kind of experience is different for various people…apparently my great grandmother was exactly like that also because of the depression. On the other hand, my grandfather who was a child in Holland during WWII took the exact opposite approach. He came to the US in the 50’s and was so tired of always scrimping and saving that when he finally had some money to burn, that’s exactly what he did…he burnt through it. Who knows why the same experience can affect certain people differently 🙃🙂

[@skyejacques]

It's called poverty consciousness and according to epigenetics we inherit these limiting beliefs and traumas in our actual DNA. If you wish, there ARE a lot of trauma release therapies that actually work. Shamanic plant medicine, psylocibin rewires the brain, EMDR, wet cupping, acupuncture, talk therapy, hypnotherapy, Body Code, Emotion Code, chakra healing. Affirmations really work after all that has been done. It is safe for me to be powerful, spend money because I deserve a good life. Giving food to the needy or meeting tje needs of people who are genuinely impoverished helps us to clear that as well, as everything is energy.

[@DaDunge]

I mean those who lived through the war in Europe were very careful with money in general my oma (grandma in German) was the same way. She didn't like buying things unless he absolutely needed them and always found ways to repurpose thing to other things rather than throwing stuff away. My mom and me sort inherited that mentality.

[@Luubelaar]

My granny grew up during the Depression. She always had a big thing about people going barefoot. It took me ages to work out why. Because back when she was a child, if you could afford shoes, you wore them! And so many people couldn't afford them. Both of my grandmothers had a big thing about not wasting food for the exact same reason.

[@davidjackson6475]

After rewatching this like a dozen times I just realized that Miguel didn't just inherit Hector's passion for music but he's also got Hector's hairstyle and cheekbone structure to the point that Miguel could possibly pass for Hector in his youth.

[@aliyahpulido953]

21:45 Two details: 1. Miguel wasn't proud or happy to be in his family's shoemaking business, and his family made him feel ashamed for wanting to be a musician. Hector was kicked out of his family after he was murdered for being a musician, so he's spent decades not being able to see his daughter. Their family connects them but isn't proud they're a part of it. They have a breakthrough where they're proud to be each other's family anyway, because they're the only two alike in the whole family tree, even though they're 4 generations apart. 2. Miguel and Hector are dropped in a cenote, or an underground cave containing a deep pool/well of freshwater, which actually exist in Mexico. (I've swam in one called Ik Kil, near Chichen Itza.) If you pay attention to the architecture of the Land of the Dead, you can see more modern buildings with electricity and concrete near the top, where De La Cruz lives. Near the bottom, you can see older building like 1940's and 30's-ish style ones like where Frida was rehearsing. On the very, very bottom level of the city, there are older ramshackle lodges like where Chicharron lives, and those are on top of ancient Aztec stone blocks. You can see this in the ancient stone carving on the back wall of this cenote, and the age of it is shown by mineral stalactites formed by water dripping down from the old stonework. The cenote Miguel and Hector are dropped into has cultural significance because Aztecs and Mayas used to put the bodies of their dead into them, because they thought the cenotes were portals to Xibalba, or the Afterlife.

[@livenitup862]

Thank you! That is very interesting!

[@sharnisestreaty9286]

Wow! Thank you for the information. The details in this movie are amazing. You've given me something to look forward to the next time I watch this.

[@etherealnerd]

Something I didn't even realize, when Miguel runs away he yells "I don't even want to be in this family." That makes the moment between him and Hector even more significant. Edit: OMG just saw this and Hector also tells Miguel he's proud of him after their performance. Not only was that probably incredibly self-actualising and assuring for Miguel, it also placed emphasis on the true musician in each of them and their connection as family that would soon be realized in the 'I'm Proud' scene. Soooo cool

[@ShuichiZero]

Aztecs don't have anything to do with cenotes, since there are no cenotes in central Mexico, the region the Aztecs dominated. Mayans are also a civilization that was present before the Aztec empire and disappeared before the rise of the Aztecs. Xibalbá is the Mayan underworld, Mictlán is the Aztec underworld and both are very different. The only thing the two civilizations have in common is one god, called Kukulkan in Mayan lands and Quetzalcóatl in Aztec and Teotihuacan territories. It's the snake with feathers god. Chichén Itzá is a pyramid dedicated to this god. Like in Road to El Dorado, the offerings to Mayan gods like Kukulkan were thrown into the cenote, normally all kinds of jewelry worn by a maiden who was sacrificed and jumped into the cenote voluntarily. It was a huge honor, but this was only a Mayan custom since cenotes only occur in south east Mexico on the Yucatán penninsula. Aztecs only had human sacrifices to feed blood to Tonatiuh, one of the sun gods. Also, a huge honor.

[@alondrag.m.5379]

Wow, I'm Mexican, and I didn't know all that. Thank you, your comment deserves more love

[@Merlijn1994]

The first time I watched Coco was not that long after my mom died, and the friend who had suggested we'd watch Coco was absolutely mortified by what he had done when I was, of course, bawling my eyes out the entire movie. And he was completely flabbergasted when afterwards I said:"Thank you, I really needed that" 🤣🤣🤣

[@lucassmith7770]

Growing up with teasing, unhealthy masculine expectations, and being outright ridiculed for who I am and what I enjoy, this movie hit me on that level. The most powerful scene for me is when he asks “Why can’t you be on my side?”, as that is a question I never had the courage to ask my own family until years later. A beautiful movie!

[@imperviousdonut]

Your comment made me emotional. I remember begging my mom with these same exact words over the years anytime we got into an argument about why I was so different from the rest of our family. I remember the desperation of wanting to feel understood or at least accepted. I'm sorry for your pain

[@lucassmith7770]

@@imperviousdonut And I am sorry for yours. Thank you for sharing such an experience and I hope you found some closure, even if it wasn’t from your family.

[@MASTEROFEVIL]

That's sad

[@blueflare3848]

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Toxic masculinity is such a harmful way of thinking, and it's a shame that it's still something that's forced onto men.

[@smaakjeks]

It has for a long time seemed weird to me that a lot of people think that the masculine/manly thing to do is to kowtow to expectations: "Am I allowed to wear this? Am I allowed to like this? I don't want to be teased, please like me"

[@SamuelDJCox]

The joy on Mama Coco’s face at 26:36 is the exact moment the tears are really flowing. In this moment you see the joy and happiness of a child who lost her father finally find him again in the spirit of her family. It’s like she’s been waiting all these years to hear this song. To think that tragedy from many generations ago can still be made right so many many years later is so wonderful and beautiful. No matter how much families have each and their own suffering and tragedies this story gives hope that even if things aren’t great right now, they can and will be good again one day. Great reactions!

[@KHTimeProtecter]

What I love about the Remember Me reprise is, when Coco starts to sing, Miguel slows down to match her.

[@FREAKOFNATURE-mb8oo]

Exactly

[@natsmith303]

This may not seem like a big thing, but I love that you actually captioned the Spanish dialogue rather than, "Speaks foreign language." That's always such a huge cop-out on DVDs/Blu-Rays.

[@lunacraftcrochet]

I hate when they do that. 😑

[@Stettafire]

Hate it when they do that. It's so lazy and disrespectful

[@eileensnow6153]

That and “[ominous music intensifies]” are my two biggest pet peeves when it comes to subtitles

[@natsmith303]

@@eileensnow6153 Also not a fan of musicals that pull the "[Title of song that was only written for this show] plays." Like, how does that help anyone?

[@qwertydavid8070]

This is one of the very few films where I prefer the spanish version over the english version. I'm a bilingual native spanish speaker, but most times I just prefer to watch shows and movies on the original english version, because sometimes the dubbing can be a bit bad and there's a lot of things that are lost on translation. Pixar, especially on recent years, has been really good when it comes to translation. They even go as far as to remodel physical signs in the movie to fit the language, which is crazy since I'm so used to just having subtitles translate it. But coco is the one movie where I feel like the original version is the spanish one, the songs and a lot of the dialouge feels so much better on the spanish version. It feels like this movie was first recorded in spanish and it was then dubbed to english, I wouldn't be surprised if the voice actors themselves are the same for each version, since they have distinct accents on the english version and they sound almost identical. I freaking love this film.

[@jlyo1991]

I cannot watch this movie without a tissue box handy. Makes me cry every time. Especially the part where Coco recognizes Miguel cuz one of my grandmother had Alzheimer’s. Ugh. I’m tearing up already.

[@callanightshade8079]

My grandma had dementia... She died a year after this movie came out..

[@theinfinityithgoofball6368]

Maybe we should start a club? (What Im saying is my grandma has dementia)

[@wifu2will108]

My grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This movie hit me particularly hard because when he progressed to the point he couldn't sit still and couldn't remember any of us the only thing that would settle him was a playlist I put together of his favorite gospel singings. My grandma would sit him down and put headphones on him and press play on the ipod and he'd instantly quiet, his expression would relax, and one hand would conduct the flow of the music while the other tapped out the beat. Music was our connection. There were many evenings when I was young that he'd be struggling with learning a new song he wanted to learn so he'd get my grandma and myself to go over the music with him and sing the song over and over till he got it right. Then that Sunday it'd be on me and my grandma to help him get the song started for everyone else. Precious memories I hope I'll never lose but am terrified that one day I will as Alzheimer's/Dementia has hit both sides of my family. The only reason my great grandmother knew who I was even when she had lost memory of most everyone else is she'd snatch a handful of my hair when it hung down as I hugged her and she'd say "I know who that is! That's Wifu2Will!" Apparently I was the only one in the family with long hair.

[@mediatorraptor3349]

Coco reminded me so much of my grandmother. Not only did Coco look like my grandmother but also a behaved the same way my grandma did. Me and my family watched that movie a week after my grandmother died. By end of the movie, we were all crying and hugging each other.

[@harleenschenk4469]

Same, I was pregnant when I first saw this and I had tears that my husband had to hold me tight

[@audreydimmel6674]

19:31 "I said I didn't care if I was on their stupid ofrenda." -"Which is all Hector wants."- How. did. I. miss. that.

[@renata3559]

The thing that hits me the most in 'coco' is mama coco remembering the song. The thing that dementing people will remember longest are the good memories from their childhood. My granny had dimentia and at some point i was looking through some books in the house and i pulled out one of her childhood favorites. She lit up and just started talking about so many things from when she was, at that time, my age. I willalways remember that

[@jameskrill5394]

I love how the dad tries to stop the grandma from smashing the guitar, showing that even though he's against music like the rest of the family, he recognizes how important it is to Miguel and thinks it shouldn't be destroyed.

[@LoveValentineXO]

Yeah, the dad, even though his part was so small, really stood out to me. He had a while freakin' arc without much screen time, and he always cared about Miguelito.

[@alisandacornejo7010]

I thought I was crying nonstop because I'm Mexican. I see now that everyone does lol. It's just so moving, I feel so grateful for this episode and the introduction in fluent Spanish with actual good pronunciation.

[@katerrinah5442]

I'm a British/Italian Aussie and this movie had me crying for hours after. It's such a beautiful movie! I love how they used a non-western culture to tell a story that is so human. I got to learn about other traditions AND bawl my eyes out

[@LucLeon]

I felt the same, but mostly because some people who reviewed coco and were not mexican or latinos, said stuff like "it was good but..." like they did not connect with the movie at the same level because is not their culture...but I see with this that is something else, sometimes is about passion, these two men have so much heart for their jobs as a film director and a therapist, they have an special sensibility , and that they can see the beauty behind the script and also appreciate the story and traditions, even if is not from their own culture.

[@lavenderhuman]

I’m not Mexican, but Spanish, although I feel our cultures are quite similar in many ways and so I definitely felt the same watching this. Obviously I’d seen Hispanic cultures in films before, but never really like this, with care and love put into it. I see the film and the way the characters act, speak, behave, all I see is my family

[@LyralioRC]

I cry every single time I watch it, and I'm Portuguese! Sin duda una de mis películas favoritas! Ya la vi en español también, y me encanta que Héctor (y pienso que otros) tiene la misma voz en ambas versiones. Ahora que pienso en eso, tengo que la ver en mi propria lengua... Me pregunto si está tan buena como estas dos. ...Sorry, ended up stretching my Spanish a bit. It's been a while, so it's a bit rusty. Leaning a bit on Portuñol, probably. XD

[@alisandacornejo7010]

@@LyralioRC Excelente! Muy buen español. Lo único es el verbo ver cuando hablas de la película, porque nosotros lo juntamos y decimos "verla", todo lo demás muy bien 😁 Yo no la he visto en inglés, tengo que verla

[@dothanoodledance27]

As a Latina who is currently trying to break intergenerational trauma within my own home this is so moving to watch. I didn’t know much of what I do now growing up, so I was very toxic without realizing it. I’m learning everyday how to become a healthier person.

[@katkatkatkat463]

❤

[@hannahyamauchi839]

My mother had a pretty rocky relationship with her own mother. She won't explain the full detail of it but when she had me, she knew she didn't want to have that same relationship with me so she went to therapy. I'm proud of her for doing that since therapy just wasn't the widely accepted thing it is now in the 90's, and my mum and I get along great.

[@efoxkitsune9493]

Props to your mum for breaking that cycle, that's awesome. Wishing you both all the best.

[@pizzawashere8940]

I have a rocky relationship with my mother, and I have this same mentality. I want to be a mother and I want to treat my children totally differently to how I was treated. I want to break the cycle and I hope I can

[@dunadanfer]

As sweet as Coco was, she was probably dominated by the strong personality of her mother Imelda, who probably called the shots and imbibe those divisive feelings into her granddaughter Elena, and kept being stubborns even in the after life. She (Coco) kept her dad’s mementos hidden from her and from everybody , and it took her a lifetime to heal her family. Some people need therapy and outward strength to stand up for their feelings, glad that Miguel was able to help heal his family and choose his own path.

[@julianhcastro]

I think Imelda was probably just as hurt and thorn as Coco, because it seems Hector was really the only one she ever loved, and she probably still waited for him to come back one day for quite a long time, maybe years, even if it was to send him away. But she also probably had to deal with Coco crying and missing her papa so much, and humming the songs he wrote her around, and at some point it was just too painful. She was probably only that forceful to protect Coco from being hurt again, and didn't realise she was also hurting her for forcing her to hide away an important part of her. I like to think Coco hoped someday she'd be able to reminice her papa openly to her family and sing his songs for her daughters and grandchildren, but she respected her mama too much for it, and after her passing, Elena had seen too much of the pain they were trying to hide, and took upon herself the role of protecting her family from the man she was never thaught nothing good about, and that hurt the ones she loved the most. No one was ever brave enough to approach Coco about it and ask her how she felt on the matter, and she was silenced, still secretly a "rebel", until Miguel finally gave her the oportunity to open up...

[@s00005]

There’s a novel which includes Coco’s POV when she was young, highly recommend reading it, it provides more info about Coco’s timeline compared to the movie

[@ImperialAtlantis]

I wonder if Elena got worse about music as Coco's dementia got worse because it seems like part of her concern about music was the fact that it set Coco off

[@aeh5109]

Fun fact: in Brazil, the movie is called “Viva” because if you put a circunflex in the second “o” it becomes “Cocô” which means “poop” in portuguese. They also changed the grandma’s name to “Inês”

[@tiffanypersaud3518]

Thanks for that!

[@OkamiDesuGa]

One of my favorite moments in this is how Miguel's dad is the first person to defend him. He's the first one to run after Miguel. He's the one who stops Abuela from stopping Miguel from playing for Mama Coco. He's the first step for healing I also wish they would have included "You killed the love of my life!! I'm the love of your life? I don't know yet!" because it shows that Imelda *never* stopped loving Hector. Even when she was furious, even when she was devastated, even through all the heartbreak, she never stopped loving him

[@vulpes6144]

Coco hit me real hard because my family also carries so much bias and one of the worst situations is to face your beloved ones for being super wrong but trying to make it clear that you don’t hate them and you don’t carry their world view. #CryingwithEveryone

[@dumbeetle1]

I've definitely been feeling the same. It's hard to ride that line and have those discussions, especially when you are talking to those older than you or those who carry a lot of pride.

[@janethbarajas5063]

I feel your comment so hard. My extended family has so much trauma and hate that I have decided to love them from a distance for my own mental health. Thankfully my immediate family and I have decided that it ends with us.

[@Aligariusful]

My sister is a music therapist, and she loves the scene at the end between Miguel and Coco. There have been so many times where people have been able to open up based on hearing music from when they were younger.

[@dianahb0]

That's amazing, Thank you for sharing This!

[@SharkyBee]

I'm a music therapy student (finishing up my last year of classes and clinicals), and I've worked with people with dementia. Every person is different, but it was always amazing to see some of the residents at the faciilty come even the littlest bit more alive when we did music therapy with them. Music really is such a beautiful tool to connect with people.

[@scorpandgang1516]

My great grandmother calls all of her family members on their birthday to sing the b-day song to then every year without fail. One day, I'm not going to get a song and that's something that scares me to my bones, but at least I know she's singing in a way I won't hear

[@visualsweets]

When I was a young girl my father used to wake me up on my birthday with Las Mananitas. After my father’s death I told my husband about this tradition and now he plays Las Mananitas on my birthday. I love that he continues that tradition.

[@itsjustbree9267]

"You have to deliberately break the chain." That's what my mom did and I will forever be grateful. 🥰 It means the world when you do that for your kids.

[@Daph909]

Same! So grateful for and proud of my mum

[@colorfullyme]

Damn these comments give me so much hope. I have been in therapy for a few years and really working on healing all the trauma. I always wondered if it was even possible, or if I would end up hurting the next generation just as much. Thank you for sharing your experience. Blessings to you and your mom!

[@itsjustbree9267]

@@colorfullyme I believe that it is possible, and I don't believe you will end up hurting the next generation. No one is perfect. You are doing the work and that's what counts! I've heard Jonathan say on this show, if you're worried about screwing up your kids, you probably aren't screwing up your kids. The fact that you are aware enough to be thinking about it means you are doing well. A lot of people never even get that far.

[@autumnmusic22]

I cry every time when Hector is being taken away by De la Cruz's guards saying that he just wanted to go home. Like, he just wanted to go back to his family and De la Cruz took that away from him all out of greed. Makes me incredibly sad...

[@Sam-lb8xs]

I know...! It summarizes just how callous, immoral, and just plain despicable that Ernesto is.

[@rila1700]

The scene where Miguel sings to mama coco made me and my family tear up a bit because before the movie even released a trailer, our grandmother passed away. Her name was Socorro, and she didn’t want to be called grandma because it made her feel old so we always called her “Mama coco”

[@insanelittlesilk]

I have a Mama Coco as well and we thought we’d lose her last year. She’s now 96 and still around but this movie ALWAYS makes me cry. I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️

[@lizrango4099]

🩷🩷 awe..🥺🥺Much love to u and yours.

[@TreeDweller_Storyteller]

“I’m proud to be his family.” This quote hits so hard. I absolutely adore the energy and excitement there and how it helped Hector out of his funk. Beautiful.

[@akikaien6422]

"You can conform and be part of this family or you can do your own individual thing and lose us" really hits me because I finally got the guts to cut off myself from my narcissistic mom and all of my toxic relatives. The backlash has been so awful and I feel so down, but this video... really really has helped me. More than I thought it would.

[@imperviousdonut]

I'm sorry for the pain caused. I share your pain. I had to do the same when I was a teen. Now I look back and know it was for the best but I still remember the countless nights spent sobbing and wishing to just be loved and accepted by my dad and his side of the family. Sometimes things just happen and all you can do is cry till you no longer need to and move on

[@ooostarb3rryooo]

You are not alone in this. I too have decided to cut ties with my family as well. It's the most painful thing I've ever done. I know it's tough to listen to your family try to play crazy, and act like what you're doing is wrong. Just remember that they feel that way because they were taught dysfunction. They don't know what healthy looks like, and that has nothing to do with you at the end of the day. I'm proud of you for choosing you. We're gonna get through it. ❤

[@bluepeppermint3790]

@@ooostarb3rryooo "Just remember that they feel that way because they were taught dysfunction. They don't know what healthy looks like, and that has nothing to do with you at the end of the day. " That sentence made me tear up. I wrote it down and will definetly come back to it if I need to. My family has been completely dysfunctional for generations, and while I just can't take it anymore, I'm also not strong enough to cut ties with anyone. It's hard trying to understand that none of this is my fault even if everyone told me the opposite for all my life. I wish you all the best and thank you so much for sharing your experience!

[@kirkmt]

“Tell me why you included that clip?” Go on, admit it, you just wanted to make us cry. Again. I do so love this movie!

[@courtneyjade9963]

I personally love how even though miguel and hector never met in the world of the living, they are so similar in their personalities

[@JaneXemylixa]

My mom always tells me that me and her dad (who died before I was born) would be best of friends. Hector and Miguel is what I wish me and my grandpa could be.

[@tristancreed]

Here's the sudden twists I loved about this movie: - Remember Me was meant to be an intimate song by a father to his child. - Going back to the previous bullet, you can see Ernesto's narcissism when he turned Remember Me into a spectacle. - When Miguel snuck into Ernesto De La Cruz's mausoleum, he wasn't stealing the man's guitar. He was taking back an heirloom that was rightfully his. -In terms of fixing generational trauma, Miguel fixes it on both the living world and the land of the dead.

[@dabinsplaylist]

the scene with miguel and coco singing together is the first scene in YEARS that makes me fucking cry EVERY TIME i see it… and i’m so glad it’s a movie that highlights my culture

[@rebekahnewman7732]

I re-watched Coco a couple weeks after my dad died and that scene had me diving in my kitchen while making dinner

[@petrifiedviewer]

Hearing Jon suddenly talk about abuse in the family and how we have to actively seek to break that habit and change our family for the better really hit home for me. Brought me to tears. My father's side of the family is physically and emotionally abusive, a bunch of them are criminals. My mom's side of the family loves each other but are also emotionally abusive and passive aggressive towards each other. Mixing that together, I grew up very adamant against having kids because I somehow convinced myself that I would never be a good parent and will just repeat my parents mistakes on how to raise a child.

[@siriuspope3552]

My granddad was neglectful because his dad was abusive, and my dad has his own issues to deal with, and he's passed his anger on to me in the form of pathological anxiety. It's such a painful feeling, the fear of accidentally ruining someone's life who thoroughly doesn't deserve it, just because of the difficulties you faced. Figuring out how to not pass that same pain potato on to the next generation is something I have to do before I fully decide in favor or against having kids.

[@elyaequestus1409]

I do understand that. The family line on my mothers side is just broken, atleast for 3 generations up. I remember joking that the only people that are stable, within her family line, are the people that married into the family. The rest (myself included) are either victims of abuse or abusers themselves. My mom protected my brother and I from the worst. Through fear. So both my brother and I had to plow through that trauma to find ourselves again. I struggle with that TBH. I struggle with that a lot. I went to therapy and they said 'we need to bring in your family because these are wounds that need closing'. The conclusion that I drew with my therapist was that there is no right, no wrong, only different perspectives on the matter. And what I need, is that my voice is being heard and that my parents are willing to put in the work to understand my diagnose. When people are understanding my diagnose and respecting my limitations, I feel like I am aknowledged as a whole person. I hope you can also find yourself again, even in the midst of such an incredible difficult situation. It is a bit of a journey though.

[@pizzawashere8940]

I have a similar family dynamic, both my parents were emotionally abused in their families and they do love me, but it bled into how they raised me. And that shaped a lot of my bad mental health, which over the past few years I've been working hard to correct. I've always wanted children and I know I want to raise them differently, I want to make that positive change down the family line and I feel I can identify toxic habits within my family now to ensure they're not repeated in mine.

[@Shahrezad1]

Both my husband and I are victims of abuse: Me: Sexual, Him: Verbal and Physical. In some ways working through my trauma has been easier, because I haven't seen my abuser since I was a teen and I have worked through things via therapy. But it is honestly multigenerational--a grandparent on one side was a victim, while a grandparent on the other side was an abuser. Both my parents were victims; only one became an abuser. It's affected all of us, but only one of us has kids. Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to protect my future children from the dangers I dealt with. Allowing myself to love and get married while afraid of men was quite the challenge. But in marrying someone who understands, I have healed so much. We still have to work through our PTSD flare-ups, but we do it together. We are determined to be chain-breakers. ❤️ I feel for everyone in this thread of comments--I'm sorry for your experiences. But you definitely aren't alone. And you are more than your trauma. ❤️ *Reaches out and offers a hug to all who need it*

[@bluefox726]

I want you to know that I once felt the same way; while my dad was severely emotionally abusive, and while I saw it starting to happen in me with my daughter, therapy and a wonderful, supportive, loving partner has made it possible to break the cycle. I am able to be proud of who I am as a parent. It can be done. You can do it.

[@ZetHololo]

As a Russian I should say that Alan's reaction to "Anastasia" is 100% warranted.

[@aliyahpulido953]

Hell to the frick yeah!

[@singingofsilver]

I studied the song 'remember me' for music class last year, and something my teacher pointed out was that each time the song was sang in the movie, it was sang differently. The first is exuberant and showy, nothing like the song was supposed to be like, the second is sad but lovely, a bittersweet memory, and the final time it's sung the song is hopeful and unsure and teary. The same song, same words, same tune, but so very different.

[@S4R1N]

Jesus, I can't even watch this abridged version without crying like a baby. This movie hits so damn hard.

[@mandapandachu]

I've never NOT cried to this movie. Even just a clip will get me every time. I've had a lot of loss in my family and the thought of still being here with us through the stories and memories helps me tremendously. Losing my dad was so traumatic for me and this movie came out soon after his passing... and I will always sob during the scene where Mama Coco and her dad embrace in the afterlife. Such a beautiful movie, so much love and heart went into every detail and the culture is twice as beautiful. Top tier film.

[@TayoEXE]

I'm sorry for your loss. Perhaps one day you will be able to embrace him once again, and I hope you cherish the memories you had together. I'm happy that the comments here are all uplifting. We need more films like this to help us remember what connects us.

[@Xatalla]

I really love the tonal difference in the versions of "Remember Me"; De La Cruz's version is just this popularized, pop, saccharine love song. When we hear Hector's version, it just hits different and shows their personalities and the deeper meaning of the song.

[@hyperbolicraider4848]

Yea kinda like when Hector sings it it’s just for Coco to remember him when he’s not around or if something happens. De La Cruz just sings it just because and ig to have everyone remember him.

[@50updumpling]

When Miguel’s grandma smashed his guitar, I felt that. I also felt his anger when she immediately tried to comfort him after doing something so horrible like “why are crying miha” GURL WHAT?

[@Bllue]

Ugh this! "Why are you crying" as if they're not the very reason

[@launachtyr]

It's so toxic. I wish they had touched on this more.

[@dani01949]

That's basic Mexican parenting. Our parents love to take revenge on their own sh*tty parents by destroying things we love when they're pissed 🙃

[@mishkawild1090]

Yeah that scene brought back memories of when I was 6 and my mom straight up beat the Holy crap out of me then forced me to say I'm sorry to her then made me hug her.

[@onon8909]

she was so rooted in her second-hand trauma that she probably felt like it was justifiable to break his guitar, as a way to preserve the notion that "music is bad and will stray you away from your family". i think that while breaking his guitar, she believed that miguel would understand like she had because she had also ingrained this bigotry into his other family members. i just felt pity for her and him tbh

[@babs3241]

One thing that interested me in the beginning was how secure Miguel was with his family, even when he was rebelling. He's affectionate with them, and tells them that he wants to be in the talent show... that really leads to the end, because the love in the family is secure despite the trauma. A couple of other things (I've watched this movie quite a few times)... The music ban really just had two people enforcing it--Imelda and Elena. And there's a point where keeping that culture, bizarre as it was, would be a question of, "I loved my grandmother; keeping her traditions is showing that I love her and haven't forgotten her." Imelda's iron clad belief that she was abandoned might well have been self-protection. If she's angry, she doesn't need to grieve or move on from "the love of her life." To admit that he might have died is to admit that she's alone. Miguel's dad gets that interesting little side part where he goes from enthusiastically supporting the "join us in the workshop!" idea to saying, "No, Mamá!" before Elena smashes the guitar (which is very clearly the first time that Miguel's trust has been broken with the family) to actually stopping Elena at the end. I like that they don't go wholly into the idea that somehow Héctor was totally right and Imelda was totally wrong. He made a mistake leaving in the middle of what was apparently a fight about the subject, and he stayed away much longer than he should have. And Miguel has to learn that that there's more to life than following his passions; he has to be willing to give that up to be able to have it fully in the end.

[@semperferusartist]

I always thought the music ban probably was interpreted in different ways by different members of the family as well. Imelda shunned music because it took the love of her life and father of her child away from her. She never stopped loving music, but it brought up hurt feelings and she didn't want the same fate to happen to any of her relatives so she discouraged any of her family to be involved in a music career. I don't feel like Coco believed in it herself since she still held onto the thing her father had, but she probably kept her feelings to herself out of respect for her mother. The uncles/cousins probably heard the story about how Hector "left them to become a musician and never returned" and had a reaction of anger towards him, believing him to be a deadbeat and going along with whatever Imelda wished and didn't bring up music around her to not upset her. Or they grew up with this idea that musicians were all deadbeats or bad people because of what Hector supposedly did. Then once you get to the next generation with Elena she's hearing the stories about her grandfather and because she had no interaction with him it became a deeper and more senseless generalized hatred of all things music which only intensified as her mother got older and she became more protective of her. It's a bit like a low-key take on how racism can be fostered in a family unit... No one is born hating something, but if you grow up hearing things based on other's experiences or beliefs it's easy to either agree with or at least go along with the way of thinking unless another influence alters it. Miguel's mom I also felt like she would have supported him, as she married into the family but didn't grow up with this way of thinking, but she did at least try to respect the family's system of belief, and encouraged her child to respect his elders also, less they incur the wrath of her mother in law. Yet she still felt like the least harsh and not outspoken about negating Miguel's love of music. It is definitely a stronger statement that it was his dad that stopped Elena from interfering with Miguel playing for Coco though.

[@raulruizdevelasco6215]

I’m from Mexico. This film is very, very accurate when it comes to depicting, not only Day of the Dead, but Mexican culture and family dynamics in general. Really impressed with the care and dedication that they put into it. Have to commemorate them for that. Also, love this channel. Glad it’s growing the way it is, because the conversation you guys have are pretty amazing.

[@feliciabrown-eaton9463]

The intergenerational abuse chain hit the nail on the head for my family. My mom did the hardest and most bravest part to start the breaking of the chain of the abuse. I'm so proud to be her daughter.

[@theimpossiblesnicks]

That scene with Coco and Miguel at the end reminds me of my grandmother who died of alzheimers a couple years ago. Music really does have this affect on people who are losing their memories, especially songs that were special to them. Thats why it always hits me so hard every time.

[@Tarabara]

I hear ya. My mom has Alzheimers and the ending just rips me up even thinking about it.

[@andreca90]

KZbin channel Sideways has a video on how this works and the fact that it's been proven that music lights up parts of the brain even in brains that show some deterioration (such as with Dementia and Alzheimers).

[@eileensnow6153]

When my Tata (grandpa) was dying, one night he got really agitated and kept demanding to go home, even angrily reciting the address, even though that was where he was. My grandma ran to call a nurse because he started pulling on his feeding tube. When she came back my sister and I were singing songs with him and he was completely calm. It shattered me but it’s a good memory.

[@theimpossiblesnicks]

@@andreca90 oh yeah ive seen that! If anyone still reading these comments hasnt seen it, go look it up. Ive been considering becoming a music therapist because of stuff like that.

[@racheljackson4428]

my dad's mum passed away last year.

[@toniantiporda9024]

I feel so, so sad for Hector. Even his afterlife was affected by the stories the family chose to tell about him. I know that this is just a movie, but how true is this about families, especially about the so-called “black sheeps” of the family. Not everyone gets a redemption arc, sadly.

[@skyejacques]

Hmmm.... True. Most of us will be forgotten after 20 years. I don't remember my grandparents and just remember their flaws and how poorly they raised their children who all have severe personality disorders. I guess thats why some of us believe in God and an afterlife, because then a are reliant on a higher power for love and dignity, not mere human beings ❤️

[@dragonbretheren]

What I absolutely love about this movie is how the central song "Remember Me" takes very different tones and meanings from the three/four different singers: 1. Ernesto sings it with more of a pop flair, making it about an egotistical romantic lover saying "I'm going to be the bad boy and leave you, but don't forget me babe." 2. Hector sings it as a lullaby to his daughter, making it about parental love saying "I have to go sweetheart, but I'll be home soon." 3. Miguel sings it very similar to Hector but a bit more melancholic, starting by reminding Coco of Hector's lullaby, but also adding his own message to his dying great grandmother to "remember us (the living) in the afterlife." 3(b). Coco joins Miguel to remind the living family to remember her when she passes. Not the sad anti-music Coco that they've all built her up to, but the Coco who loves and misses her musician father.

[@heatgerm]

Even just this observation has made me tear up.

[@starry4471]

Coco really helped me realize just how stupidly lucky I am to be part of a family that is ready and willing to accept me for who I am and my passion in life, which is coincidentally, music. I’m currently in the process of writing and producing my third album, and I was recently in a situation where I was far away from my family, and because of the emotional distress I was in, I decided to write music about it. While away, I wrote a song dedicated to my mom, about the agonizing feeling of missing her, and promising that I would see her again. While I was gone and I could talk to her, I said that I was writing a song for her. When I finally got home, it was the first song that I worked on. I had to tell her how I had felt, in the way that I best know how. When I finished the song, I told her that it was done, and she asked if she could hear it. I remember watching her eyes begin flooding with tears as the intensity rose to the first chorus. It’s one of the most important moments of my life. Coco is a fantastic message. Follow your dreams. The entirety of your life is about doing what you love, and finding a way to live through it, or to die trying.

[@Atlessa]

So I just watched Coco, Soul and Luca (as well as their Cinema Therapy episodes) back to back, and one thing I noticed about Pixar's style is that you can tell the movies apart by a single freeze frame of ANY of the (human) characters, just because they're all unique in style. And that certainly adds to the DNA of each movie. If they were to go 100% photorealistic, they'd lose that.

[@smileyface81mc77]

Nice pfp!

[@chloeedmund4350]

Plus it would evoke uncanny valley because they wouldn’t be able to get 100% and we’d pick up on cues that something ain’t right here.

[@KingCasual1986]

Not to mention at that point you might as well make it live action. I’m honestly more of a 2D animation person than a 3D animation person. With 2D animation (if done right) you can really get that emotion while also making a real work of art. Look up the opening to the game Tales of Berseria. That might be one of the greatest openings to a video game ever. It is a visual but you can really see the emotion in the characters’ faces. Tales of Berseria as a whole just might have the greatest video game story of all time if you ask me. If Disney’s main market were male teenagers than a story like Berseria wouldn’t be too out of left field.

[@HyperfixHighway]

"We can watch Anastasia." Every bone in my Anastasia loving body: Yes! Please! 🥺

[@Myaccount923]

Me too

[@anp8_]

i am begging for this too

[@missgreennailslover]

YES! And we want Alan to speak Russian, too!

[@FluffyFlower387]

Creepy stuff and that’s why I love it