CIS WOMEN TALK ABOUT WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE TRANS MEN (HRTea After Dark ep 12)

[@trailersparks]

There's definitely a difference in how cis men and women show allyship. Supportive cis women are very active in showing interest and asking questions, supportive cis men show they're cool with you by never asking questions lol

[@laurelgardner]

This is so true.

[@HRTeaPodcast]

Yes!!!

[@xdani_thethinkingneko]

In my personal experience,they typically don't ask the question directly to the trans person. I've always been active in the queer community, but I am pansexual and a cisgender women so, I've dated cishet men in the past, and most of them did ask me LGBTQIA+ related questions, especially trans stuff since it was something they had recently become aware of, and hadn't been taught as much on. They didn't understand certain things, and since they knew I was comfortable with being queer and had dated trans people in the past, maybe they felt more comfortable asking me?😢 (I noticed too, especially when I would talk about ex-partners of mine, and it happened to come up that some of my ex partners were trans, that they would be even more interested.) & Even men I haven't dated, as most of my friends in my life/current bestfriend, are / been heterosexuals, cisgender men. They've always asked me questions in regards to the queer community too, and it's been nice to see how they've slowly opened up their minds and started to understand things more. Sometimes I think that maybe cisgender men, who may not understand things, but do respect trans men as men, maybe worried about asking that man those questions, as maybe they're scared of that man feeling like they're questioning their manhood? I know that's a big thing for men, so maybe that's it. Maybe another reason is a cisgender man,may feel more comfortable asking these questions to someone whose cisgendred?because maybe they're worried about coming off as transphobic? Especially if they happen to be someone who is truly supportive, but just doesn't know how to be. At least that's what I've gained from my interactions with a trans men. But this could just be something that I experienced. When it comes too women,as sad as it is to, I wonder if women understand how important it is to go directly to the source for something, because women are often subjected to misogyny, and we often don't like when our stories are distorted. So they want to ask trans people directly or in the case of transphobic questions, women are often not viewed as threatening, so they get away with more threatening and inappropriate questions. It honestly is felt good, when I was able dispel inconsistencies, or myths that people have been told about trans people. I do wish though that the people who I have spoken too,(I've even sent some of these podcasts to my cousin before, and she's watched them. She used to be against blockers/HRT for children, and now has completely changed her mind) and continue to speak to about these issues, would make the effort to go right to the source. I don't see them often doing that, after I tell them about these type of things. It's a weird bittersweet type of feeling.

[@FoolforLife-w8s]

I am a cis guy, i dont like the term but i use for this. My current gf is Dominican, very conservative, she dont like haiti. She expects a traditional man. Provide and protect. So my life is keeping her happy and being a father to the children

[@greggfitzgerald242]

this is my first time coming across ur podcast and i gotta say this has been probably the most real and entertaining podcast ive seen in a long time yes im biased because i am also trans but to able to hear the guys and lady’s opinions on everything just made me feel this world has a lot of hope especially with people like you putting out your thoughts❤keep up the good work

[@HRTeaPodcast]

You have made my entire week thank you so much for saying that and supporting the pod. That means the world truly 💚💚💚

[@Mi-Mi-Michelle]

I'm so happy for you that you've found each other. The group dynamic is kinda wholesome to watch

[@HRTeaPodcast]

THIS BOUTTA MAKE ME CRY THANK U

[@rilehiggs]

I love this! Thank you for this video. You all are hilarious and it comforted me as a young trans guy.

[@saTAn-tk5ru]

As a young trans man the wholesome and understanding vibes makes me feel really hopefull. Thank you man this was a great watch :)

[@HRTeaPodcast]

Made my day. Thank you so much I appreciate that 💚

[@jobanxx]

A MAX CAMEO!!! Loved this episode! I love how yall take some shitty situations and make them funny cause that is HARD!

[@ksingr]

the max cameo is my fav part of the ep!!!

[@HRTeaPodcast]

Aw thank you!!! Maxs cameo was also my fav part I screamed like a lil girl when I saw it

[@skyknight2658]

Yalls picture behind Kay is so freaking adorable.

[@ksingr]

thank you!!

[@HRTeaPodcast]

HAHA THNAK YEWWWW

[@Plot_twist3422]

Holy shit Max, the editing was phenomenal😂 Also, what a great episode with FANTASTIC back and forth conversation, you all are such a hoot, 10/10😌🏳️‍⚧️

[@HRTeaPodcast]

THANK YOU SM 🥹💚

[@Marco18111]

This episode was amazing, y'all killed me (Max included). I agree with Gabe, we need more Kat on the pod!!

[@HRTeaPodcast]

Omg agreed 1000000%

[@emory5533]

I love the cuts to the Max 🤣

[@HRTeaPodcast]

OMG SAME

[@hodbeuwkajogbxst4825]

As a trans man myself I feel kinda bad how you implied that trans men are somehow better than cis men. I do agree that we are maybe more in touch with emotions but still...

[@HRTeaPodcast]

Mmmm well when cis men are 90% of the transphobia , homophobia and misogyny in the world… I don’t think it’s an unfair thing to say tbh

[@hodbeuwkajogbxst4825]

@ trans men are men just like cis men. We both have the same experience of gender. This kind of ”men are trash” stuff is understandable but it only makes things worse

[@xdani_thethinkingneko]

7:21 I had to literally rewind. What the actual hell is wrong with that doctor.... That has no bearing on medical treatment at all. They're only supposed to ask you if you're sexually active, and if you are protecting or not.... What is wrong with them... My jaw literally dropped when I heard that. It's like you know stuff like this happens, but every time I hear it I'm always shocked. I live in connecticut, which is a blue state. So when I was actively dating partners of mine who were trans in the past, my doctors never asked me any questions like that. They only asked if we were sexually active and if we were protecting. They also asked me if I wanted an STD test, just to be safe..... Completely bizarre questions. It's always disturbing when medical professionals ask questions like this too, because there is already a wealth of information out there about how trans people typically have sex, if they're really that curious about it... Which I don't know why they would be to begin with, as it is literally none of their business. If you're not going to be having sex with a trans person, why do you care how they have sex....💀

[@xdani_thethinkingneko]

Side note : I love your podcast by the way, and your videos in general. You make when I'm doing work a lot easier(I sell stuff online that I restore, typically collectibles, so it helps when I'm doing mundane tasks like listing items), even if sometimes I feel so strongly about something I have to come back too comment I hope one day you make it big on here. The work you do is not only important to human rights issues, it's dang good too!!❤ Always thought provoking.

[@HRTeaPodcast]

I am so late to this but omg. Thank you. That means the freeking world to me you have no idea. I really really appreciate that. Thank you🥹🥹 And yeah totally agree w you on the gyno thing😂 absolutely absurd thing to ask someone and I’m still mad about it lmfao

[@viclukchik]

that was informative!! thank y'all so much. you're cool

[@AnaLuisa-ls9gi]

These trans guys are beautiful.

[@Max2622-fn7lr]

Loved this episode 😆😎

[@tiffanywilson7032]

I heard they were talking about manipulating the skin cell to turn it into something. I don’t know researching

[@Myaw-mrow]

29:40 gold x)

[@tiffanywilson7032]

People know what they doing they’ve been disrespectful

[@jayfalcon-rw3qc]

No disrespect, but the medical questions are necessary. Using a device is different than person to person contact. Some people have had surgery, some have not. Also, whether or not pregnancy is a possibility is important

[@HRTeaPodcast]

I mean no disrespect either but a doctor should not ask you about your partners genitals and “ what u prefer”. No important medical knowledge can come from that. That’s pure curiosity rooted in transphobia. 🫶🏻

[@jayfalcon-rw3qc]

@HRTeaPodcast very few questions in a healthcare setting are asked out of curiosity. If a cis female patient states that her partner is a trans woman, whether that partner has had surgery or not is an indicator of the possibility of pregnancy for the patient, among other things. Medical questions almost always feel invasive, and some providers are better at asking them than others. It is an evolving discussion in healthcare, and protocols are always under revision, hopefully for the better

[@HRTeaPodcast]

BRO NO GYNO SHOULD ASK U IF U PERFER D*CK OR V*G. THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING MEDICAL. ITS CREEPY AND NOT OKAY LMAO

[@jayfalcon-rw3qc]

@@HRTeaPodcast can I ask why that question is offensive to you?

[@bailey2812]

@@jayfalcon-rw3qc u and your doc lovers or smthn? That is just an inappropriate question to ask a patient 💀🙏

[@ribbrascal]

"That's a dumb fucking question." It sure is, but in the complete opposite way you think.

[@akkamiau]

with this generation our future is bleak.... lol

[@HRTeaPodcast]

Idk how to take this

[@innercitymullet]

I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this side of my relationship with my husband, this was so incredibly relatable 🥹

[@HRTeaPodcast]

You stop it right now. That’ll make me cry. Thank you 🥹. I’m glad you enjoyed 💚💚