Pro Postal: Corkscrew Rules

The horror.
THE HORROR.
Patrons see episodes early: / civvie11
Twitter: / civvie11
Join the Dungeon Discord: / discord
#ProPostal #GameReview #FreeCivvie

[@mabs9503]

"The voices are all in Russian because it was never released in the US but there's English voice over for the Japanese release." Naturally.

[@frataltay4543]

Mabs I'll never get that.

[@mabs9503]

@@frataltay4543 It's not the first time this has happened. Pepsi man was also only in Japan but had English voice and even an American actor in the FMVs.

[@frataltay4543]

@@mabs9503 I'll never get that either. There is also a SNES game called Rendering Ranger R2 that also only released in Japan yet game was compeletely english... what the fuck is wrong with these people?

[@hoodedman6579]

@@frataltay4543 Lots and lots of old Japanese games had English menus at the very least and lots of other parts in English; try playing the Rockman X games (the recent collections came with tons of versions of each of them), every boss name is kind of in English and so are all of the options. Everything until X7 on the PS2 is about as playble in the Japanese version as it is in the English version, though actual story text is in Japanese.

[@frataltay4543]

Hooded Man But why! Don't they have their own language?

[@julianlocileno2968]

The male voices range from "Shitty TF2 Spy" and "Mario Pissing"

[@Knapperoni]

Don't diss Mario Pissing like that

[@luleta1644]

Gentlemen, It's time to take a piss.

[@kankeydong2500]

@@luleta1644 *intense splash noises*

[@michaelkubanek5394]

Ok Richard

[@jojoreference1012]

@@luleta1644 Jarate added to inventory

[@chickennuggets4498]

A “culture house” is a place where in the old Soviet times all the citizens would gather and enjoy their culture. There would be clubs, reading clubs and theatrical performances. In many of the former Soviet republics you can observe these “culture houses” that are abandoned and run down.

[@leonardmuzaks2000]

There are a lot that are still running and well at that some are called "Reading places" or читалища

[@screamsinrussian5773]

@@murderousmayhem6362 damn right, we have our fair share of illegals though sadly

[@luca_under_limit]

It was also in other countries that had the comunist regime

[@tbirddddd]

@@murderousmayhem6362 Yeah but giving communists special treatment is the worst thing you can possibly do.

[@GodsWheat]

Here in my small city in Lithuania still exists and used for performances as well

[@SkorpyoTFC]

"I miss the subtlety of Postal 2" Gee, zus, FUCK that is a statement.

[@a.k8185]

In what way was postal2 subtle? I know that i went macheteing everything but really how is it subtle?

[@SkorpyoTFC]

@@a.k8185 That's the joke.

[@a.k8185]

@@SkorpyoTFC Dont you dare r/woosh me

[@cairox1509]

@@a.k8185 you did it yourself

[@a.k8185]

@@cairox1509 I dont think so

[@darkmage07070777]

"Crack was fine! Why did you get rid of crack?!" --Civvie 11, 2019

[@mouthwide0pen]

@@andron7611 I mean, in context, Civvie means mechanically. Nothing was stopping the vodka from being 1:1 with crack functionally, but its not.

[@ArcturusOTE]

@@andron7611 Well that would explain the imagery but would it kill them to just change the visuals and not the gameplay effects?

[@Krakkokayne]

Plus Russians do Heroin and Krokodil there

[@blu3844]

This now has 666 likes, leave it be.

[@kylenielsen5083]

@@Krakkokayne Krokodil, more Fuck-yo-Day up

[@0lionheart]

They.. they literally used the Unreal Editor AI nav point icon for their apples. The editor icon. A 2D billboard sprite. Fuuuuucking RAW

[@TheLastApostle]

Thanks for context. All i knew was it was some very badly rendered apples lol. But now i know the depth of the joke

[@kankeydong2500]

"You gotta be fucking kidding"

[@CopiousDoinksLLC]

I also like how the Stoly bottle in the inventory is almost completely invisible so all you can see is a label

[@MrTheil]

borderline Good lord, that is low effort

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

''Oh my god. Oh my god! You should be ashamed! RAAAW! RAAAW! Shit!'' (Drops the atomic RAW bomb)

[@A1ucardd]

"This looks more like an asylum then the Hospital" Not like anyone whould care, but 0:33 sign "Психушка" basically means "Nuthouse". So yah...

[@DjShadFox]

"Mental Institution" would be more appropriate.

[@A1ucardd]

@@DjShadFox Right, it whould be :-) But "Nuthouse" is direct translation, it's intentional :-) "Психиатрическая лечебница/больница" will be "Mental Institution"

[@KoylTrane]

@@DjShadFox Russian Postal and appropriate, lmao

[@monteg1954]

Да, ты прав

[@M-1996A1]

I care about shit like this, I’ve always wondered if the billboards in dayZ say anything funny.

[@DoctorAutopsy]

"People die by themselves... Or with my help." Civvie: "I miss crack..."

[@thewizard2390]

They are shooting and moving!

[@Type75Advance]

Because Postal Dude always say 'This can't be good for me but I feel great'

[@maxpulido4268]

Don't we all

[@RichterTheRat]

Not gonna lie, that's not a bad one liner. It'd sound better coming from Rick Hunter or Corey Cruise.

[@Tangers3345]

This game seems like an interactive KZbin poop

[@supersmashbro596]

ytp... good ytp actually takes effort. a hell of a lot more effort than this.

[@liamwolfieruby]

Even the worst ytp is better than this.

[@theuncalledfor]

@@liamwolfieruby You must have never seen a _really_ bad YTP, unless you mean because it's at least over quicker in which case I will concede you have a point.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

That's mama Luigi to you Civvie!

[@supersmashbro596]

@@lopanreturns7085 crack life is actually pretty fun in a stupid way. this is just... sad. and i dont know which is worse the fact this was made or rws looked at this and went "yeah. this is who we wanna trust with postal 3." a fact they never can live down no matter how much they try.

[@motherbrain4718]

I can't shake how defeated Civvie sounds when at 12:20 when saying hi to Cancer Mouse. He sounds like his last shred of faith just withered away before our very eyes.

[@juanokug4]

he even kinda compliments him

[@derekghost9543]

Why does civvie hate cancer mouse?

[@zwindfer3061]

@@derekghost9543 when cancer mouse comes on the show its always to spout like insane super far right nonsense and Civvie gets in arguments with him

[@motherbrain4718]

@@derekghost9543 Why do you NOT hate Cancer Mouse?

[@WhyDoIHaveAHandle517]

@@crypticcrustacean4499 wat

[@SinaelDOverom]

Some background: A studio that got its startup from rampant software piracy decided to sell a mod, based on whatever shitty "comedy" jokes were running on regional TV. And they hired "enthusiasts" for the job, offering them some pocket change, vodka and a stale pie as a payment. And the enthusiasts (including the writer) were into the local analogue of "gangsta" culture so most of the "humour" is rooted in that. This is the end result. Translation was done via waaaay shittier version of Google Translate, called "PROMT" which is notorious for being extra shitty. And then russian actors who are likely don't understand english at all had to read it.

[@evilfreak7]

it sounds like they're reading it phonetically, which is super hilarious

[@AllardRT]

@@evilfreak7 They are.

[@cupcayuk]

@@evilfreak7 the way the gay man said _assfuck_ got me laffin

[@SinaelDOverom]

@@evilfreak7 likely some of it was transliterated (english words written in russian letters by-sound) so the actors who don't know english could actually read the lines.

[@KeksimusMaximus]

Какой нахуй промт, пиздец, никакой промт не переведет "милиция" как militia, это переводил какой-то дегенерат

[@brokenm8950]

The cruel irony is you actually played the BETTER version. The steam version was improved from the initial release on several levels. Now try to sleep at night knowing there is a worse version of Corkscrew out there.

[@frataltay4543]

Broken M All I can say is my friend that I really enjoyed sleeping up until this moment.

[@darkcheaker]

I played the original Russian release back in a day and survived, AMA

[@ArcturusOTE]

@@darkcheaker How unstable was the original release?

[@ellocojoncrazy3270]

Can you tell me what's wrong? I've played it before watching this video, I've only been on Tuesday, but I can't find something that the expansion does PAINFULLY bad as Postal 3

[@ellocojoncrazy3270]

The only thing I HATE is comedy.

[@dudeglove]

so I speak fluent Russian. The short version is it's just a lot of crass juvenile humor that's real low even by Postal standards. Nothing really worth pointing out or repeating.

[@Thatonepersonyouheard]

I don't think that's possible but for some reason I believe you

[@haveaniceday8786]

I am russian and I'm ashamed of this game

[@frataltay4543]

@@haveaniceday8786 Don't be dude they didn't ask your opinion before making it.

[@haveaniceday8786]

@@frataltay4543 I mean, the game is crowded with jokes and stereotypes that pop up in everything that the Russians create. Like vodka, remnants of the USSR, or auto industry (most russians are obsessed with russian cars). And then they are surprised at how foreigners see them

[@xotl2780]

Yooou guuuys! They are shooting a movie Here! This game is a fucking masterpiece (of shit)

[@doktawhawee9870]

“You May think this is as bad as postal 3. No... It’s worse.” That line legit had me scared.

[@JimmehRulez]

Huh

[@nikjuttun5677]

Sent chills down my spine

[@foehammer419echo9]

I shit my pants at that line

[@corvus4350]

Shows what a godsend Corey Cruise was.

[@rvc7468]

*oh no*

[@feistycone3395]

I really like the cover for corkscrew rules to be honest, makes postal dude look like a complete badass

[@the-postal-dude]

yeah the art is genuinely really good. i kind of have a soft spot for corkscrew even if the game itself is complete dogshit, but i might just be biased because i'm friends with an introject of him

[@DreamCocoa]

The terrorists invading the theatre is a reference to the Moscow theatre hostage crisis that happened in 2002 and caused 100+ deaths. That's in pretty bad taste but hey it's Postal so anything goes.

[@MrDoorChime]

The Siege of Waco in postal 2 was in bad taste as well...

[@quint3ssent1a]

Not better than Al'Quaeda jokes in Postal2

[@TheDrLeviathan]

Waco was old news by the time Postal 2 came out, and they made fun of Al Queda, not 9/11 like the movie did

[@cyberdiver7076]

Nah at least they died sleeping. It's probably one of the best way to go tbh.

[@cpi3267]

@@cyberdiver7076 rational

[@wesleybcrowen]

"There's english voiceover for japanese release" Yeah, makes sense.

[@4Wilko]

The Biohazard games come to mind.

[@Minority119]

@@4Wilko as well as Siren hell, right now there's Persona 5 coming out in the Asia market in english

[@Spanjop]

About translation, for Civvie and other, actually 'Culture house' is a literal translation of "Дом культуры" (ДК) - an actual thing in post-soviet and couple other countries. It's a center for cultural and educational work. And strippers being there ought to be an attempt to joke. So it's not a bad translation of the word 'Theater'

[@crispypeepohole69]

Well, all of the Dark Souls games were originally recorded in English and subbed in Japanese. I think Japanese studios do that because they can get away with paying overseas voice actors/actresses less.

[@wesleybcrowen]

I am way more amused by the fact a) Postal series even made it to japan and b) that a russian voiceover had to be dubbed in english for japanese players, despite russia and japan having a somewhat healthy cultural hard-on to each other.

[@fakename8749]

Akella is actually quite interesting to talk about, since it's literally the only publisher that made its name on being a famous piracy circle, and then they actually went official and then it all went to shit. In the 90s, Akella was THE name to look for if you wanted a decent Russian translation of English games. They translated (and sold pirated copies of) everything - from Quake to Planescape: Torment. The funny thing about all this is that when Akella went official in 2000s, they actually got WORSE as a publisher, fervently defending their IP built on pirate sales of their translations in the first place. They also released a lot of shitty, unfinished games and started forcing SecuROM on everything they officially sold. tl;dr: wacky slavs, amirite?

[@GorFrag]

Like CD Project Red only shitty?

[@Avengerie]

@@GorFrag CDPR was involved in piracy?

[@sernoddicusthegallant6986]

@@Avengerie No but they were focussed on just translating games form english to polish before they got the rights to the witcher series

[@GorFrag]

@@Avengerie more or less, there were loads of games Poland either couldn't get or couldn't find translated. So the started out pirating games to translate in order for people to play them. best reason for pirating softwear i know.

[@Lawlaliet]

@Age Restrictions Yeah, yeah sure it was Yanke boy.

[@TheCrimsonFckr]

"Where's my benis??? :- - - -d"

[@cassiopeia36]

"It's not ketchup" Not since Metal Gear Solid 3 did a game end with such haunting words.

[@kankeydong2500]

but this case is for the wrong reasons

[@kacperciesowski3344]

They butchered "Buttsauce." in the Japanese release!

[@bigboysdotcom745]

I think the joke is "it's not ketchup, but(t) sauce"

[@lovetoeatallthefood]

It sounds like the Postal Dude is being voiced by female Tommy Wiseau...

[@ahmadbassam2898]

Or Google translate.....

[@okokpokjijpij1242]

His male voice sounds like someone doing an impression of the localized russian postal dude, surreal

[@Chris-yz7cs]

Mr Plinkett is that you?

[@ArcturusOTE]

@@okokpokjijpij1242 Apparently it was a popular Russian VA

[@УтерянныйВТумане]

In original version of mod he sounds EVEN worse...

[@Spanjop]

Civvie, actually 'Culture house' is a literal translation of "Дом культуры" (ДК) - an actual thing in post-soviet and couple other countries. It's a center for cultural and educational work. And strippers being there ought to be an attempt at a joke. So it's not a bad translation of the word 'Theater'

[@eyescream4371]

Yeah, every post-soviet city with population under 100k has one. It's like gathering place for national holidays and a theater for local bands and other creative troupes

[@panpaletkalg2550]

"culture house" is what americans call community center

[@Edmasterz]

Can confirm.

[@Spanjop]

@@panpaletkalg2550 yeah, pretty much, but a community center is more a concept than an actual place - schools, churches, and parks can perform a function of a community center, there is no need in a separate specialized building as ДК.

[@39Chevy]

@@Spanjop in the USA often a Community Center is a specific location, they hold social events, classes, dances, game nights like bingo, etc.

[@Jesse__H]

Whenever I see a new Civvie video: _Aaaaaaaahhhhhh or maybe no screaming sometimes_

[@BAGG8BAGG]

Super underrated comment

[@leebard9335]

*Internal Screaming Vaccilates*

[@williamsmith666]

Second... Floor... First... The office.

[@Charles-e4x]

"This was created all the way back in 2005!" Please stop trying to make me feel old Cancer Mouse.

[@xmm-cf5eg]

give him a hug and embrace your oldness.

[@chaselegoman]

@@xmm-cf5eg and the radiation poisoning.

[@henrynelson9301]

“Oh yeah I remember 2005, that’s prehistoric.”

[@OneReallyGrumpyJill]

Somehow, the fact that the story is about the Russian pornstar who is now a guy with a vagina and split-personality-gender issues is the least weird thing about this game.

[@civilwither8904]

sad that i cant like this

[@OneReallyGrumpyJill]

@@civilwither8904 Toughest sacrifices require the strongest of wills.

[@GAMER123GAMING]

Sounds like your average trans perso...

[@buzzlightyer2948]

genderfluid postal dude, good for them

[@Calbeck]

And the one thing Civvie actually seems to get offended about. Go figure.

[@kropela]

'Crack was fine, why did you get rid of the crack?" = Civvie 2019

[@Pikkabuu]

"Why is the crack gone?" - Beating a dead meme

[@imadrifter]

I miss crack.

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

@@imadrifter You can make cocaine into crack. We still have cocaine. I mean, it's cheaper just to get a prescription for adderall or vyvanse but you have options if you're looking for nostalgia.

[@anarchist135]

kropela crack is a sometimes food now

[@lovetrain2455]

"The voices were dubbed in english" This english is as english as tacos are

[@kyokyoniizukyo7171]

This is a blessed comment..

[@suprememasteroftheuniverse]

Tacos were invented in Texas.

[@badger6728]

Master of the Universe And Texas was not a US state until like 1880-something, so thus they are not English! Ha!

[@666Babouin]

About as English as borscht.

[@ChaseMC215]

The doctors castrated Postal Dude's balls off! It's not fucking fun!!!!

[@Sl4n3]

It's okay Civvie, we are embarassed of this "game" here in Russia too.

[@TheJayson8899]

N5ZZ0 Yes.

[@hypnoticskull6342]

This mod... Is fucking amazing! XD

[@thislopop2700]

@ Hey, a fellow Pathologic fan!

[@nopepsi2day]

@ Stalker is from Ukraine tho. But you can pick King's Bounty: The Legend and HOMM5 instead, those games are gold.

[@darkcheaker]

Wait until CV learns about "Подземелья Кремля" and we are fucked again

[@NXTangl]

Cutting off your balls does not make your voice disappear. On the contrary, it's hard to get rid of a testosterone-deepened voice. People squeak when getting hit in the balls because of the adrenaline making their muscles tighten.

[@planetmaker3472]

It seems more like a really bad joke about trans people

[@DeathGripsIsOffline696]

@@planetmaker3472 thats because it is

[@floridaman4596]

​@@planetmaker3472 Trans "people"

[@Lass_of_Sass]

⁠@@planetmaker3472yep it is, surprisingly not the most insulting joke I’ve ever heard about us.

[@girlfromspace4082]

Right IV heard way worse and considering this came from Russia? I'm surprised they couldn't hit harder

[@Boognish64]

“It IS kind of comforting to know what I’ll be doing in hell”- Is a Pulitzer worthy critique. Bravo.

[@CodedBruhment]

I’m

[@zenny8877]

@@CodedBruhment you're

[@martinfranko336]

I like to believe if he gets in hell he will be playing blood 2 on the hardest difficulty forever

[@idkm8952]

The section where they kept sending you to a different boss sounds like a bit on Russian/Soviet bureaucracy

[@andreibratosin]

And feels almost exactly like the Black Lodge

[@howdoyoudo5949]

Or an Asterix skit

[@tithund]

It was also a quest in the Witcher 3, in the vampires in France expansion.

[@Morningstar91939]

It would be funny if it wasn’t so tedious.

[@antyludek]

@@Morningstar91939 witamy w wschodniej europie

[@lordfriedrick7911]

When Civvie wants a hug from Cancer Mouse you know he's suffering so much that he prefers the warm and deadly hug of radiation poisoning to whathever he's playing in that moment

[@DiamorphineDeath]

I took that as a gerbil reference. You know, like he’s going to....you know.

[@nexviper]

@@DiamorphineDeath Don't you be suggestin such horrible things in relation to Cancer Mouse.

[@jamesduncan6729]

@@DiamorphineDeath get the feeling that Civvie was gonna Richard Gere that lil cancerous creep?

[@skullocrusher]

@@jamesduncan6729 cancer mouse is a gud boi.

[@JeanMarceaux]

Either way way he gets those sieverts

[@Necrodogged]

The most offensive thing about this mod is the linearity and the fact that you can't piss on yourself to put out flames. -25 / 10

[@stevecooper6578]

The Gay jokes and toilet humor whatever But if you can't piss on yourself why bother?

[@mamaluigi1438]

@@soulSSeekingbullet wooo so edgy bet you got a specific red white and black flag hanging on your wall

[@JohnnyMartwell]

@@mamaluigi1438 can't forget the Yemen flag man

[@mamaluigi1438]

@@JohnnyMartwell Sure the Yemen flag the yazis introduced in 1942 for the YESDP in Yemen

[@HandsOfTheFather]

@@mamaluigi1438 what the hell are you on about?

[@lukedufaur5368]

25:16 Ok this entire mod is garbage but using "Boris Yeltsin's liver" as part of a superhuman made me soil myself laughing

[@asteroidrules]

It has one or two jokes that actually work, I guess they got lucky. The "I don't have a penis" bit is also a funny if simple joke, that rather impressively managed to survive the translation.

[@free2game]

A russian friend told me "Corkscrew in russian is when you mix beer and vodka to get drunk faster"

[@LairOfLair]

It is usually called Ruffe (like fish). Ёрш in russian.

[@weismeister121]

Germans/Austrians also have something similar where they drop a shot-glass with vodka into a bigger glass/mug of beer...dunno what they call it though.

[@Waskomsause]

@@weismeister121 Over here a common name for that is a "Boiler maker" but we normally use whisky.

[@Szpagin]

@@weismeister121 U-boat.

[@alexj4097]

Buttsauce "It's not ketchup" Since 2004

[@asterixobelix20]

Well if your buttsauce looks like ketchup, then I think it's time to see a doctor.

[@skald2154]

20:48 "I like how in Russia they let 12 year olds write video games" And books, there were also postal books. I recently bought one from a street vendor for like half a buck, it's called "[Postal] Dude and the Inflated Freedom". I don't even f'n know, can't be bothered to actually read it.

[@ghoulhellbilly2528]

it's in english?

[@skald2154]

@@ghoulhellbilly2528 No, russian books

[@БорисЛебедзинский]

That brings so much memories about russian TMNT books published in 90's - with stories ripped from Terminator, Evil Dead, Predator, Aliens movies but with Ninja Turtles as main characters xD

[@ghoulhellbilly2528]

bruh send scans

[@therideneverends1697]

@@ghoulhellbilly2528 yeah i want to see this holy shit

[@andrewpiltenko9432]

1:34 This is the voice of Peter Glanz - one of the most famous and recognizable russian voice actors. He voiced Deadpool in russian translation of the movie, alongside with countless other works.

[@PutkisenSetä]

Helo, mah naem iz Peter Head-Of-Dick. Oh noes, I shood go easy on the jerking off the of. A thespian.

[@sokiel6663]

​@@Firewatchersparadox97 In russia the level of voice acting is not too high to begin with, and people who are doing it for game localisations basically work on a tight conveyor with payment very moderate even by russian standards. Often they don't even see the game and don't know how the original lines sound or translate, they get the text they read it. So no wonder they stopped caring a long time ago, basically in the 90s, but back then it was still fun, you know. That's why they would take any job. Another factor is that their audience generally only speaks russian, that's why they can't compare and don't want to. Most people are happy with the shittiest, most god-awful translations or voice overs. You are lucky to not know what they did to the best games out there. The rest just plays or watches things in original.

[@hypnoticskull6342]

This is why I love the man XD

[@critlv972]

@@Firewatchersparadox97 the guy actually started his career in akella, that's why he voiced the Dude for this game (actually, he is the man who wrote the plot).

[@xyzak47-pl]

@@critlv972 Wait, what? Seriously?

[@daniels.6500]

That "butt sauce" was absolutely hysterical to me I don't know why

[@doktawhawee9870]

That's not ketchup!

[@jojoreference1848]

10:24 Sorry for my clumsy english but it translates like: "Citizen's active position makes a good serve for society" Yesterday, the leading surgeon-proctologist of local clinic was arrested for trying to resell a smuggled kidney of a seal on Mitinsky radio-electronic market. Under the guise of a kidney he offered buyers a Sinko's Filipp Karpovich's cirrhotic liver seized through backass hole by the pretext of "urgent anal inspection". Sneaky doctor was captured because of citizen Sinko's vigilance. He immediately called police when he came home and found no pain in his side. Suspect will spend the night in detention cell of municipal prison №1. I don’t know if anyone will need this translation or not.

[@davidabest7195]

So the alcoholic knew something was up when he went hone and didnt have serious liver pains anymore? That's actually hilarious.

[@jamesshields9832]

Honestly I appreciate it, I find it fascinating how awful this game is, so I can’t help but want to know everything about it.

[@a.k8185]

@@davidabest7195 Humourus indeed Im saving this joke for the next family gathering in a censored way.

[@krodmandoon3479]

"Need" it? No. Glad you did it anyway? Absolutely.

[@twitchsopamanxx]

Thank you sir

[@satinsguard]

"CRACK WAS FINE, WHY DID YOU GET RID OF CRACK!?" - Civvie

[@aaront5432]

the bad translations sounds like they're having a stroke

[@mortmortmort8908]

You know it's serious when Civvie needs the warm embrace of Cancer Mouse

[@ryanlavallie4065]

Mort Mort Mort the hardbass, stoli, and gopnik life made it a Chernobyl Sunday afternoon

[@demizson576]

Chernobyl? Get of here Civvie!

[@PancakemonsterFO4]

He just wanted to die from radiation sickness rather then play this “game“

[@davidmiller9485]

um don't you remember the gerbil meme going around back then?

[@NinjaFresh]

@kevin willems Hug? He put cancer mouse up his ass.

[@stuff9680]

A Postal game set in Russia is a cool concept it just needs a proper studio to make it with direct oversight from RWS

[@rockythesnailracechampion7144]

I don't think it would be a Postal game though. It should be something else, and with a more respectful company that will work with RWS better and not make some shithole game like this and Postal 3.

[@stuff9680]

@@rockythesnailracechampion7144 RWS had little to no input on Postal 3 that's why it was broken and still is broken, the company that made it won't let them fix the game even though they don't exist anymore

[@olivia892]

@@stuff9680 also even if rws is lucky and can get the files fully and shit... It'll probably be in broken russian so bad that not even drunk people can desifare it

[@boldlychernobly]

After too long without a Civvie11 video: "Health pipe my ass, this stuff is addictive." After watching the new Civvie11 video: "This stuff can't be good for me, but I feel great."

[@a.k8185]

Me after playing this "postal" game

[@tennisthelegend]

Repeating a line from Postal 2 isn't creative or funny

[@TheHandOfFear]

"Benis." "Benis?" You're just gonna leave that subtitle alone?

[@lenargilmanov7893]

Isn't "benis" a Finnish meme?

[@SekruTheGreat]

:DDD

[@doomguy9049]

@@SekruTheGreat :DDD

[@kennyrgb2700]

:DDDDD

[@bugeatingfreak]

@@kennyrgb2700 :DDD:DD

[@Xaxp]

Aw. Civvie gave Cancer Mouse a hug. See? Even irradiated rodents need love.

[@nicememe9450]

"Oh Yeah"

[@milopony5475]

I’d do it too if I had to play this monstrosity

[@M3g4M4r1oM4n]

He had cancer mouse hug the benis

[@4Wilko]

(Geiger counter clicks) "It burns but it's so fuzzy." "This can't be good for me, but hugging Cancer Mouse feels great."

[@ryanlavallie4065]

That sounded like fallout rad noise

[@therasslintheatre2960]

Daikatana soon, Civvie, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE

[@BearOldcastle]

It would take him like 3 weeks that game is long but yes it needs a pro version Muhahhaha.

[@albertdeluxe8966]

John Romero is about to make Civvie his bitch.

[@ThatGhillieGuy]

@V2die4com this but Chex Quest

[@M0rshu64]

@V2die4com I'm waiting for Pro-TNT Evilution. So I can complete my personal Pro-Doom Playlist.

[@Just_KT420]

... Rise of the triad

[@nopepsi2day]

22:31 LOL, how lazy they were to put Unreal Editor PathNode icon here to act as apples!

[@Xx_MannyHeffley_xX]

Cool fact: The song that was blasting at the start was made by a preety famous rock musician Aleksander Pushnoy, who also used to be a host on a very popular children science show.

[@flooku987]

Byll Nie the rocking guide

[@huuuuuuuuman]

"It burns, but is is so fuzzy."

[@Chronosol]

The most controversial part of this episode.

[@4Wilko]

12:39

[@Chronosol]

@Stix N' Stones unacceptable wholesome content in a boomer shooter doomer channel. That's heckin gay.

[@Chronosol]

Also, I would believe that Civvie was trying to gameend himself rather than f4gstroking the lib boner.

[@thebiggestofbandits9]

How did this thread get derailed so fucking fast.

[@xuevgermanist]

At this point I can't help remembering a Russian Postal (1) release in about 1996 or 1997. A pirate release (goes without saying), all games sold then were pirated. The game CD in that release had Vladimir Zhirinovsky (a Russian half-politician half-stand-up comedian) dressed like a cop on its cover. And the voiceover was done by some actor who did a decent job mimicking Zhirinovsky. All this amounted to the game's premise: Vladimir Zhirinovsky decides to sort out Russia's criminal issue. So the Dude presented as Zhirinovsky (models remained unchanged) just roams bout shooting people. The thing is that as adolescents, we were finding that funny and amusing back then. So I do have a feeling that the "Zhirinovsky" edition of Postal 1 twenty-something years ago and this thing Civvie has been reviewing is actually the product of one and the same sick mind.

[@TheOnenewnail]

Do you also remember "В.И.Ленин - первая кровь"?

[@xuevgermanist]

@@TheOnenewnail I know about this one, but I had a regular Blood)

[@somerandomname3124]

What the fuck is up with Russians and Postal.

[@cinnamontoast1586]

"half-politician half-stand-up comedian" thats the funniest and most accurate description of him

[@courperationX]

-Russian made expansion -hardbass starts playing during dialog for no reason

[@RangeTeaGaming]

Boris hardbass anyone?

[@user-vp6cq4sv3d]

@Adam Demeter Yes I'm glad someone knows what they're talking about. I reckon that loop sounds great for some fast freestyles as it gets blasted in the car.

[@_ViceTroy_]

pro postal: upbeat intro music according to notifying message corkscrew rules: music has heart attack

[@Kildaer]

Onanism that is one to add to the obscure English words list: A term referring to the old testament character Onan who would nut outside of his wife whom was his older brother's widow, and struck down by god for failing to complete his tribal marriage obligations. To TL;DR: the marriage law regarding this: childless widows were obligated wives to the next eligible from her husband's family to keep up tribal alliances and to give her a husband/kids.

[@GAMER123GAMING]

can you show me the full list

[@ExValeFor]

Oh no. The Dude's internal monologue is done by the actual, legit VA they got to do his voice in Russian. Its not even a knockoff, it's just that actor - who's not a nobody mind you - speaking poor English for the Japanese release.

[@screamsinrussian5773]

real talk though, the Russian dub Postal Dude is pretty good I prefer Hunter but he gets the job done well

[@akdov7253]

This data is more interesting than the whole game lmao

[@ExValeFor]

@@screamsinrussian5773 Yeah the english VA is a bit too memey, the russian actor seems to be going with the game's story.

[@inquiz9747]

This is one of the best VAs post-soviet countries have to offer. I feel terrible for him.

[@VicariousReality]

+Inquiz Not even close. See: STALKER

[@hanzumautist4945]

“Where’s my 🅱️enis?” -The Postal Dude

[@DrEisenhower]

Fug :DDDDDD

[@cavemancult1999]

- Corkscrew Dude*

[@wolvarine35]

Who wants Wang?

[@screamsinrussian5773]

perkele :DDDDD

[@supra107]

*Штопор

[@MikJ132]

CRACK WAS FINE, WHY DID YOU GET RID OF CRACK!? -Civvie, 2019

[@4Wilko]

5:14

[@Doomwolf82002]

Out of context Civvie 11 clip.

[@AgentDanielCross]

@Nebula Star and Krokodil

[@AgentDanielCross]

@Nebula Star Good point i guess

[@plantain.1739]

I kinda get it in a way, I imagine there's much less crack in all of Russia then in a medium sized town in Arizona (I know the last quite well) but they still fucked it up horribly.

[@pavelskrylnikov9658]

6:30 "Culture house" means exactly that. It is a translation of "Дом культуры" - soviet era format of recreational establishment. Basically a community center which houses local hobby clubs, music events, exhibitions, stage plays, movies, etc. Almost every soviet town had one.

[@GmodPlusWoW]

This mod feels like a stroke, written in Cyrillic. Though even with that said, one thing I do appreciate is Beard's voice. For some reason, I prefer it over the usual Bin Laden voice in regular Postal 2.

[@HydraSpectre1138]

I also love Osama’s magical ramblings like the “magic lamp of my life” and the whole Starprince thing.

[@zigfaust]

For a second I was like "They had Hotline Miami chars in this a decade before Hotline Miami?"

[@Overlord81]

Well I'm glad Dingo Pictures have moved over to Japan to voiceovering this in english.

[@XxMeatShakexX]

The fact you can't piss upwards is honestly a really good touch.

[@Hi_Just_Fred]

Too bad the result is shitty

[@Drakkish]

the dead pan way he says "hi cancer mouse" just had me rolling, im so glad hes still part of lore :D

[@q1q2q23]

Oscar performance

[@ZebUrsoThera]

Civvie killed Cancer Mouse in the other timeline.

[@qty1315]

@@ZebUrsoThera Yes.

[@abloogywoogywoo]

@@ZebUrsoThera He can't die.

[@orelyosif5852]

To give more context to the name of the product: "Штопор Жжот" - "Corkscrew Burns"(or "Corkscrew Rules", how it was translated), is an uncommon russian saying, used when someone makes a particularly good joke. "Штопор" - "Corkscrew", refers to the person making a joke(that's why protagonist is named like that). It's is mostly used between the impoverished population of russia, people, who love low quality humor. Saying "Штопор Жжот" is praising someone for making a good "bad" joke. That includes racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. Everything that russians love in Postal 2. They don't care about any social comentary.

[@lonewolfM16]

The office section feels really bizzare, because it seems to be replicating a Postal 2 thing in a way worse way. Having NPCs jerk you around doing mundane normal errands seemed to be intended to get you to basically flip the table and go for violent massacre. It's the whole idea of the protagonist getting fed up with frustration and going postal. But the violent solution here doesn't do anything. You still have to go through the long run around either way, you can flip the table,but they will just put the pieces back and make the next move.

[@helious5056]

I think the theater getting raided by terrorists is a reference to when that actually happened to a theater in Russia. The police eventually got them out and killed them by drug gass into the building

[@TooMuchSascha]

With a number of dead hostages rivalled only by the Beslan School Siege

[@bonb0n593]

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A JOKE ABOUT THAT THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE

[@helious5056]

@@bonb0n593 well this is a postal game, and these are Russians and typically folks practice dark humor to try and cope with tragedy's like this, like my mom told me about how she learned from a friend's mom who lived through the Holocaust and how they'd tell really dark and edgy jokes to try and cope with there horrible situation

[@bonb0n593]

@@helious5056 I- .-. Fair point

[@helious5056]

@@bonb0n593 yeah, it's probably a similar reason why most edgy comedians are also super depressed, they use there edgy humor to deal with there depression, at least that could be what's going on

[@alalvarez7301]

"THIS ONE IS EVEN WORSE." Oh. Boy.

[@tacticalwizard7476]

Its not bad in terms of map design and wall design, seems to be using a far older engine than steam postal 2 so AI is just worthless.

[@q1q2q23]

Protip from a postcommunist country: "culture house" = community center ;-)

[@commisso3806]

Janusz Kaiser Dom Kultury

[@q1q2q23]

@@commisso3806 That's not gonna help English speakers, wouldn't you say?

[@commisso3806]

@@q1q2q23 Wasn't supposed to.

[@imadrifter]

So the "community center" has a "stripper" giving out free "blowjobs" to a sans benis Dude?

[@Bluehawk2008]

Doesn't yours?

[@fastcar7337]

19:19 I love how both the VA and whoever was writing the captions said/wrote “bread” instead of “beard” so the entire sentence sounds like nonsense. Not to imply that the original joke was funny to begin with, because it wasn’t.

[@ThatDjinn]

Civvie: "You know, with Akella's involvement you might think this is gonna be bad like Postal 3" Me: "Well thanks, for setting my expectations" Civve: "Oh no... it's worse". Me: *that long-forgotten "dramatic prairie dog" meme*

[@ThatDjinn]

@PBJ Civvie said in Postal 3 review that Running With Scissors gave the game to Russian developers and publishers - Akella and Trashmasters. I don't know what's the point you are trying to make here, my man. I assume you just forgot, since that's a minor point of the video. And yes. I just checked.

[@kankeydong2500]

@PBJ or, simply put, you fucked up and don't want to admit it

[@ThatDjinn]

@PBJ what's the mistake though? You haven't added anything to the discussion so all my points still stand and now you just started whining. And I think I was pretty civil for a yt comment section considering how upset you yourself clearly were with your own comment. Calm down we all make mistakes.

[@ThatDjinn]

@PBJ Well... the fact that you keep replying means you care at least as much as I do, so don't give me the "I don't even care anymore" treatment. If you didn't you'd let it go.

[@Lawlaliet]

@Djinn Delacroix Yeh, but he's pretty much wrong. Akella wasn't the developer, they were just the publisher. Trashmasters were the makers of the game, an that's being nice since they apparently barely did any work on the game. Until Akella sent 'em to Valve to learn to use the Source Engine, then after doing ONE demo level for Akella, Trashmasters went back to doing jack shit. Finally, Akella got sick of their crap and fired a bunch of Trashmasters employs, while the remaining ones quickly put the game together and pushed it out under the saying "You pigs wanted it? Here ya go, enjoy and don't choke on it."

[@uamee]

All these references are easy to understand for a Russian speaker/someone from former USSR. Culture house is something that exists in every village and town in former soviet union, it was a place for the local community to gather and experience culture stuff like theater, hobbies, arts, think soviet club house. Militsia is how they used to call police in Russia when it was still organized more like the military for example.

[@LumosX]

Huh! I didn't know the Russians had changed the "Militia" back to "Police" a few years ago. Thanks for the heads up.

[@Maggerama]

Easy to understand, difficult to forgive.

[@RocketLawncher]

7:37 A culture house is literal translation of Дом культуры (Dom kultury) which in soviet times was a theater, a cinema, a community center - basically anything related to culture and enlightment. In some places they still exist today, probably thanks to government funding.

[@SNOwyte]

I like that idea

[@LateNightPerson]

"Tha evill pepill, membaz of Erehktus Witnesez Sekt..." I love the voice acting. And this is the best line with said voice acting.

[@HydraSpectre1138]

I just love Osama’s magical ramblings. He is like if Russia made a Postal parody of Jafar from Aladdin.

[@LateNightPerson]

@@HydraSpectre1138 not to mention everyone sounds like drunk tommy wiseau lmao

[@magmad1ver]

Akella did not manufacture Postal 3. Akella merely published it. It was done by Trashmaster studios. Akella was, before Postal 3 most famous for it's amazing Russian localization of Postal 2, where the game performed amazingly well in terms of sales and popularity.

[@sanity000-x2r]

Watching this was actually painful, even with your commentary.

[@kankeydong2500]

Oh, the cringe

[@JimmyBlack7351]

The "English" dialogue scrapes at my soul every time they speak

[@papayer]

Safe word: Akella

[@screamsinrussian5773]

Disappointed?

[@pubesinyourchoccymilk7684]

I fucking love your name

[@neal2399]

Second your girl says “Akella” you instantly lose all virility and flop limply out of her as you stare ahead in horror and the terrible voice acting echoes in your head

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

@@neal2399 I BLAME GLENN BECK

[@ЭрикКартман-ч4ю]

@ScopeDog It's that wolf from Mowgly.

[@Wizuu0274]

On the bright side, our friendly rodent pal that lives in Reactor 3 is back.

[@pseudonymousgarbage8]

I absolutely love the subtitle for people panicking in this version: "Aaaaah! or maybe no screaming sometimes"

[@radwanmossalam8067]

This is literally daily life in Novosibirsk

[@DigitalFulcrum]

The voice acting certainly makes it sound like Civvie is close to being inside the Black Lodge

[@half-lifescientist1991]

DigitalFulcrum I'd much prefer the black lodge over playing this game

[@DigitalFulcrum]

@@half-lifescientist1991 I wouldn't. The Black Lodge is really THAT BAD. Playing a poorly made game is manageable. I know it's a figure of speech :)

[@BlahBlahYouWho]

I AM THE CORKSCREW...

[@jasonbaber9915]

"WAT IN HOLY FUK WHERE IS MEH DEEK"

[@ericanightshade]

Real Talk: Hearing the Russian girl poorly say "Hwat? Yu kno who stohl ma deek?" was adorable.

[@gwelch399]

Picture checks out

[@bobbobertson9325]

NGL I was thinking the same thing lol.

[@DisDatK9]

“Where is my benis?”

[@obeseperson]

BOLAS

[@bradpotts1747]

yeah but it was bein said by postal dude

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Didn't knew there was a russian Creepypasta version of Postal.

[@T1MAGEDDON]

1:35 i love the part in postal where the postal dude hits the elsa spiderman pregnancy 3D walk cycle

[@GuyXVIII]

It's as if all the "Meanwhile in Russia" memes where a video game

[@thomasgamer4000]

Fr

[@MarquisLeary34]

"Oh hey, I just discovered Postal 2 thanks to Civvie and really had a great time. Whassis on Steam workshop? Corkscrew Rules? Oh, Postal in Russia! Seems interesting...." Glad you could share in my suffering...

[@TheWingless]

24:30 G-man in the new Half Life Alyx WISHES he could reach this level of unsettling

[@stephen2624]

The pissing mechanic could've been kept in but as an infinite supply of piss bags that do little damage but can save you by throwing one upwards and letting it land on your head when you're on fire.

[@mugwump7049]

Slavjank + Postal... What could possibly go wrong? Thank you for this most finest half-hour of poetry. And a special mention to the immensely talented actress who says "I'm burning! Help! I'm hurt!" in a perfectly calm voice.

[@quetzadrake]

Guy just shot the dude with his wang after spending 4 days in a Russian hell and he didn't even take the thing back, that's pretty hardcore.

[@Extramrdo]

that's not ketchup

[@cambreaKer]

@@Extramrdo butt sauce

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

-DETACHABLE BENIS-

[@ryanlavallie4065]

The power of squat and schemeki makes it possible

[@meleemastermaa1449]

"Crack was fine! Why did you get rid of crack?!" Can't wait to see this quote out of context.

[@ArkadiyA5]

Back when this game got released, Russian police used to be called "Militia / Militsiya (Милиция)", hence the "Militia Station". Also, a "culture house" is like this club / theater / cinema / disco combined. Originally it was supposed to be a multi-purpose cultural establishment for Soviet workers, and they still remain, hosting festivals, celebrations, etc. And I guess crack got removed because crack has never been a thing in Russia, most common drugs are heroin, weed and synthetics (JWH, amphetamines and so on)

[@ArkadiyA5]

@@KeksimusMaximus джаст лайк ёр мам эбаут ю

[@mjbartending]

04:56 They should have replaced crack with krokodil and have your leg fall off if you used it for too long or smth.

[@twilightsunset]

They cut the dude's johnson off...... "This can't be good for me but I feel great!"

[@kylehyde215CA]

John Goodman in Postal when?

[@shaynehughes6645]

Trans niggas be like

[@nopushbutton]

I like how even the prison warden, who is wearing a suit coat, is wearing track pants

[@eduardnemchitskiy8816]

that's standard russian police uniform. No joke, google it

[@AllardRT]

That's not track pants, the stripes on the side (lampasses) are a part of Russian police and military uniforms since at least the Cossack times. Other than the lampasses, those are actually normal pants.

[@suprememasteroftheuniverse]

Stripes, two of them, on pants are pretty common on military uniform worldwide. They're not Adidas track suit pants

[@nopushbutton]

@@AllardRT ah yes, I looked it up after reading your comment, I see they're just decorative braids. yeah, those are common on military uniforms

[@ThommyofThenn]

​@@suprememasteroftheuniverseI've seen american soldiers with similar stripes on their dress uniforms

[@EATABAGOFHELL]

22:30 huh, I recognize those apples, that was the icon for something in the old Unreal Tournament '99 level editor right? I think it was path nodes? You'd need to manually set up networks of paths to help the bots find their way around your map, and all the nodes on the paths were indicated with that apple symbol. Also WOW this game is sewage

[@markjymnast4888]

I remember playing this expansion a while back and all what I have to say about it is that it manages to do something that I originally thought was impossible, it made POSTAL 2 boring and unentertaining.

[@badopinionsrighthere]

Postal plus slavjank. A match made in... Well definitely not heaven but even hell has a sense of taste

[@captainjurgh8142]

this game is like a bona-fide collection of time to take a piss voices

[@tehawsumboi]

"a bona-fide collection of time to take a piss voices" with a side of piss-poor tf2 spy impressions, all served in the Eabf G'scud Iy'jhz Y'vg'df. T EF LYS EY'COLUISY KYH B ORBV WJ KTJDCPLZDBS (gokx l'rw kfftyh)

[@Dark.Shingo]

"Someone: Aaaaaah! or maybe no screaming sometimes" *Releases smoke.* -Whoa, so deep, man...

[@doktawhawee9870]

Antonio Francisco Magaña Gómez Floor... One... TheOffice... One...