CKIII: Holding Court

[@DoorMonster]

Get your own Royal Court and fill it with as many cool swords as you can find! play.crusaderkings.com/DoorMonster You can also add your own free Kyle with the link in the description above!

[@Marinealver]

...or Gored by a Boar. Nice ASoFaI refrennce (I don't use the other name).

[@DanksterPaws]

Hm

[@SoSezTheDude]

"Man, was that king easy to assassinate. There were literally swords *everywhere*, didn't even have to sneak in a blade!" -the eventual assassin, probably

[@ArifRWinandar]

Probably could arrange for some of the swords to fall on the king for a silent assassin rating.

[@ViolosD2I]

@@ArifRWinandar Another tragic accident!

[@nerosoul2506]

@@ArifRWinandar One small explosive, detonating it drops the swords and you can walk out with a nice silent assassin suit only

[@theinacircleoftheancientpu492]

Exactly my thought.

[@rentheseer190]

Not enough assassin gigs that let you use what's in the room, they're always like "No you gotta use the dark dagger." or "no you gotta use this poison that an alchemist can't identify without a really high rule and source the apothecary who made it"

[@DaxCyro]

Advisor made into court jester to avoid assassination. The king is learning.

[@Johann_Gambolputty_of_Ulm]

Weeeell, if he would be learning, then he would already banish the advisor. Doesn't jester add like 20% to the hostile plots? That is, like, inviting an ASSASINATION 😅

[@danghostman2814]

Maybe the advisor was already the jester, and kept suggesting that other people be made the jester so he could stop.

[@about37ninjas]

@@Johann_Gambolputty_of_Ulm Kind of historically inaccurate, as the jester was the only one who could (relatively) safely mock the king. The names escape me, but there was even a story of when the jester drew a very real sword and killed some men planning to usurp the throne.

[@brandonfinney7126]

@@about37ninjas I'm pretty sure I've heard somewhere that court jesters were often highly trusted confidants and sometimes were practically used as assasins on people the monarch didn't like but you'd need to fact check that as I may just be talking a load of crap and even I don't know

[@louiscypher4186]

@@brandonfinney7126 Your both right, One of the problems with History is that people like to assign things universally when they simply aren't. In some courts Jester's were trusted confidants also extremely learned individuals. In some courts Jester's were simply entertainers. In some courts Jester's were still part of the servant class. In some courts Jester's were landed. In some courts Jester's wore uniforms. In some courts Jester's wore similar attire to the rest of the court. In some courts Jester's were paid a pension into retirement, even given crypts when they died in honor for their service. In some courts they were simply tossed aside and left to beg in the streets whenever their employer become bored of them. There were also different types of Jester's as well, some were Jester's of the court itself, Some were personal Jester's of members who attended court, some were travelling Jester's who would only take on a job for a short period of time and move on. Even the duties of Jester's varied, The term "kill the messenger" is thought to have originated in the Tutor period, where the rather unlucky individual was considered to be their employers voice and this extended all the way to the battlefield. When an enemy was given terms for surrender these were often delivered by a jester and if those terms were considered insulting, Well just think of the opening scene of Gladiator. Of course this there's far too much to this topic for it to be covered in a KZbin comment.

[@awkwardbloom2728]

The King may be assassinated, but his interior decor is gonna be sick

[@АлексейХолодов-л4э]

If you're gonna go out - go out with style ;)

[@resileaf9501]

His successor is going to love the decor, and isn't that what matters the most in the end?

[@SirAroace]

Life is short, swords are forever.

[@gammaspector]

I mean if it’s inevitable than hey why deny the king his right to decorate his court

[@MrJoeyWheeler]

Kings are temporary, good interior design lasts through the ages.

[@paradoxinteractive]

Excellent video! Your payment of 17 swords will arrive shortly Kyle. There was a small mixup at customs, but when we explained they were merely decorative they went right on through

[@iamxevicho5170]

how long do we have to wait for the next dlc?

[@christophervanerp1133]

my parents have a wall scimitar that was held up in customs for three months, as it was a) From Pakistan, and b) Late 2001

[@barryfraser831]

Swords are perfectly legal in Texas, and in steerage.

[@StephenAngelico]

Paradox, the game studio we needed but didn't deserve. I don't understand how you guys are so SERIOUSLY COOL!

[@Schizogenius88]

Please revise your DLC policy, the common man cannot afford a $200 game.

[@Zw285]

"The Duke of Queensberry, your brother and your Uncle requests financial aid." "All three of them?" "They're the same person." XD

[@barryfraser831]

I've played enough CK that I thought that they were all the same person to begin with.

[@ObligedUniform]

Something something "A family tree, with a branch of our own"

[@ErzengelDesLichtes]

@@ObligedUniform … it’s more of a family wreath…

[@morganb6717]

they 'request', he 'requests'; the statement was worded to provide no doubt. the king is a fool! *immediately appointed Court Jester* ...damnit.

[@N8Maple01]

So for someone to be your uncle, they must be the brother of one of your parents. If they are also your brother, then you would also be the brother/sister of that same parent. Meaning that your other parent (father or mother) would also be your grandparent (grandfather or grandmother). Marriage could provide for an exception, but I haven't worked out the details.

[@lunaprescott5512]

Thomas the Jest: evil-eye Allison: “I’ll get you a cool sword.” Kyle: The choice here is obvious.

[@anxiousearth680]

Allison: "I know what the monarchs like."

[@hydractal]

To turn Allison into the court jester!

[@Tacticslion]

"I'd rather just... collect a bunch of swords." Were I rich and a king, I'll be honest, that might be high on my priority list.

[@stewy497]

I'm neither of those things and I still consider it high priority.

[@Tacticslion]

@@stewy497 Same!

[@blackkakari]

@Tacticslion I'm poor and own enough swords to arm a small militia. Time is your friend.

[@windwaker105]

I am neither of those things. But I already have three swords

[@blackkakari]

@@windwaker105 Ha! Amateur. I own a naginata, wakizashi, katana, tanto machete, sawback machete, flick knife, duel bladed punch dagger and quadruple bladed punch dagger. All of these combined make me somehow superior to you! Because Ah thtudied tha bwade... *tips fedora*

[@thefirstprimariscatosicari6870]

Paradox choosing the best sponsors as always.

[@julianius484]

Quite

[@rartros717]

Good for them

[@blackula911]

What the hell does this even mean? Paradox is the company SPONSORING this channel.

[@theblackbaron4119]

They still need to make better menus for their games and they always suffer from tons of expensive dlc that should have been in the game.

[@thefirstprimariscatosicari6870]

@@theblackbaron4119 True

[@seanmongoven9200]

Wow, first time I’ve seen a Door Monster video published in real time. “I also vow to return with a really cool sword.” “Do it!”

[@Suthek]

And they did. He was assassinated with that really cool sword.

[@AltTabbackspace]

Here's the nation's whole treasury.. DO IT

[@hebl47]

You can't have only swords on your walls! You also need some shields. And at least a pair of crossed halberds.

[@TheArklyte]

Several bows, crossbows and javelins may also come in handy... does a barrel of bolts and arrows count as decoration or is ammo stash a bit too obvious?

[@hebl47]

@@TheArklyte A barrel is a bit too much. I mean think of the aesthetics. All of the weapons and shields form a nice flat landscape, and then you have this big, chunky barrel sticking out. Now slick, stylish quivers... that I'd allow.

[@21700r]

Don't forget tapestries to soften the insane echo of being in a spacious stone room decorated in metal. Maybe depicting some epics from mythology & history or something

[@hebl47]

@@21700r Oooh, I like this. You're hired!

[@a_channel2545]

Dude, crossed halberds are dope

[@mirjanbouma]

You can say a lot about paradox, but friend and foe have to agree that they're very cool for sponsoring Door Monster

[@bladelucas1994]

The king should get a hobo man to be part of his court, I'm sure he'd have a great collection of knives and/or swords.

[@Kalion-mi1zc]

True but there's a high chance they will be made out of Gallium.

[@Haan22]

@@Kalion-mi1zc I can trade for some milk though.

[@mirjanbouma]

I should not read the comments while eating, dammit! Yours nearly ended my life 😂

[@John_Smith.]

At very reasonable prices

[@theasexualidiot4803]

What are knives besides just smaller swords?

[@weareharbinger914]

Alternatively, up your diplomacy so high, even the people who you are in the midst of invading, really like you. With the power of charisma, avoid assassination! (Warning: Does not help against boars)

[@Ruvaakdein]

Actually, it does help against boars! If your diplomacy is high enough, you can pacify the boar during a hunt.

[@davidmescher2526]

But does it help against bores?

[@SOLARITY333]

what if i fall into a borehole, straight into the mantle?

[@Ruvaakdein]

@@SOLARITY333 I haven't tried passing a Diplomacy check against Mother Earth yet, I hope you can share your findings after returning from the mantle.

[@SOLARITY333]

@@Ruvaakdein in ck2, it was best to throw cattle into the hole. though i think stones work, too!

[@CodaMission]

"Ready to hold court today?" "That's today?" Such a true sentiment from the fans

[@backdoorproductions4983]

If I had a nickel for every time characters played by Kyle and Thomas had a shot-reverse shot face-off, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[@resileaf9501]

I will never not love this reference.

[@anxiousearth680]

I think you'd have at least 12.

[@mirjanbouma]

@@anxiousearth680 this one and the hobo faceoff, what others are there?

[@CoralCopperHead]

If I had a nickel for every time this line was repeated, I'd start a new mint, which means I'd have a lot and it's weird that it happens so often.

[@Bjorick]

jinx! Now you owe me 2 cokes.

[@johnlienhart2717]

I would gladly sacrifice my life so that my descendants may have really cool swords to decorate their courts with.

[@AurumAquila]

King: *Breathes* Also King: *Gets Assassinated*

[@-Offstar]

Don't knock the Jester, they were one of the most important people in a royal court. They were the only person able to criticize and say whatever they wanted about the king without punishment, if the king punished or executed the jester for something they said that was how you knew you had a tyrannical ruler.

[@alexisauld7781]

"Sire, the court is flooded!" "What! How could this happen??" "Your collection of cool swords sire, they... melted..."

[@jaredrussell4064]

They were the ones made out of gallium.

[@UCeagle79]

Classic door monster video loved it. I'd watch Kyle sit in court talking to his people for a whole video too. Just all his friends bringing him not the weirdest. but the hardest problems.

[@OSDisco]

Yeah, it was great seeing something in this style again

[@davidmescher2526]

Make them the jester(s)! A jester unemployed is nobody's fool!

[@danakk04]

fun fact: lavishly decorating your courtroom is actually really important as a king

[@cgt3704]

King Kyle: "That cannot be the answer to EVERYTHING" Also King Kyle: *makes his adviser a jester* Hashtag Problem Solved

[@garyyythegamer]

"I also vow to return with a really cool sword-" "DO IT" I died

[@krell.1415]

Oh man I thought this was going to end with The Extortionist Hobo offering the sword!

[@raylampert1243]

"Stop thinking about decorating!" "I am ONLY thinking about decorating!" Yeah, that pretty much sums up my reaction as well.

[@blacksabre5343]

Kings are just decorations for one of my favorite spreadsheet games lol.

[@mirjanbouma]

As an addict to the making of spreadsheets for the games I play myself, I must ask, what do you keep in your CK spreadsheet?

[@blacksabre5343]

@@mirjanbouma dynasties and characters who've wronged me before I got a chance to wrong them...

[@mirjanbouma]

@@blacksabre5343 oooh, revenge reasons. Nice!

[@playwars3037]

He made the advisor into the jester XD At least it proves the he either has a sense of humor, or was listening ! Sort of.

[@StevenKR]

I love at the end the king made the advisor a jester to avoid the advisor from assassinating him! Brilliant scripting!!

[@HowDoUPlayGames]

"Your death is basically a coin flip between being assassinated or getting gored by a boar." *A boar has gored you to the core. Alas, King Arthur is no more.*

[@lordhelmchen3154]

2:03 "You and Advisor-Guy became rivals"

[@Meteorite_Shower]

I wasn't interested in this game until I learned you can get really cool swords.

[@alexross1816]

"I'd rather just collect a bunch of swords!" King's got my vote.

[@Jay_Johnson]

My Lord, I have returned with 7 Excaliburs, one of them is probably the real one

[@amyshaw893]

glad to see the return of dramatic funny faces

[@Draon029]

Woah Thomas is KILLING IT

[@Ajehy]

And this endeth the reign of King Kyle the Sword-Fancier.

[@Hrafnskald]

Long may he...reign? :)

[@Namelesswhirl]

King Gary the Misanthrope, First of his name!

[@AHersheyHere]

This kingdom would go on to reclaim 3 ‘Excalibur’s.

[@salihkara2827]

This king needs a viceroy to manage his vices. Like swords...

[@1TW1-m5i]

It took me a moment. Was expecting her to be made a jester. But then they showed the advisor guy....

[@h3nder]

Honestly, this is basically why I never hold court. I am far too busy with tournaments, conquest and building up Paris.

[@SSGTstealth]

We have never seen the need for "cool swords". However, we do collect interesting specimens from your planet. For Science. Only Science.

[@MrDelta509]

I had a feeling we would be seeing some CK3 content from you soon... Happy to see you all working with Paradox again!

[@bloodrunsclear]

Little known trait: Swordmania

[@Steven_Olson]

Always nice to see another sponsored video by you guys. They're usually pretty good and it means you all get to eat this month.

[@alberich5355]

Looking at Kyle, maybe he's the only one that gets to eat this Month. Bad Jokes aside, I hope that he's okay and didn't put on the Weight because of Stress or a Disorder.

[@mirjanbouma]

@@alberich5355 I'd ask wtf is wrong with you but I don't care what the cause for your behaviour is

[@naplockblubba5369]

I like the subtle reference to Hobeau Noveau at 2:05, seeing as those were the actors playing the hobos in that video.

[@reubenoakley8967]

Allison with a mustache was the best part of this video. More please! :{D

[@JonatasAdoM]

I've heard the table knife was invented by a bishop that hated people dining with their daggers and falchions. Perhaps he really didn't want to be assassinated.

[@JSisall]

Paradox should be giving y'all royalties on every sale at this point.

[@barbarazottis5915]

"I might do it myself at this point" is an amazing line.

[@SupremeMetalOverlord]

"The Duke of Queensbury; your brother And your uncle..." Me: *Wait a minute...*

[@BluishGreenPro]

Love every one of these sketches, keep up the great work guys!

[@ryanadams0922]

Cant wait for "a really cool Sword" to be the new Running Gag. Im ready for it :)

[@aydenvis]

First video of yours I've seen in a long time and not only does it have Thomas and Kyle, but it has the hobo-style crash zooms!

[@RowanCitrian]

Good to see a king with their priorities straight!

[@whitehawk4510]

Yay! Kyle is doing more videos!

[@goon-705]

I like how Kyle did the Gary the Misanthrope grimace.

[@about37ninjas]

I just know Shad would greenlight any request that involved bringing him cool swords.

[@NorninTGK]

Cool swords, or a big stick.

[@mirjanbouma]

100%

[@Limrasson]

The solution to all of these problems is to be so terrifying that nobody even dares to show up.

[@jarrodwilson3208]

Kyle and the rest of the door monster crew never fail to make me laugh, thank you.

[@rakaisjwara9856]

just stopped by to rewatch technically not tyranny. Glad I found this

[@thefollowingisatest4579]

Everyone in the room after he said yes: "So, does anyone want to join a plot?"

[@mysteriousstranger6857]

The only thing missing is a million dukes with +50 opinion storming in half-way through claiming that the Earl of North Fuckworth is the rightful king, because he's the last ruler's aunt's cousin's roommate.

[@jonnyboy6453]

"Do it!" a solid 10 seconds of laughter

[@christianfreedom-seeker2025]

A strong King was like Henry the 8th, he didn't allow anyone to encroach upon him. The nobles and the commoners feared him, not without cause! The King had an insane amount of people executed for either being related to the wrong family or for having a loose tongue.

[@jaidenharrison2963]

Cool swords for life!!

[@The_Kentuckian]

The answer is always "denouncing Veince"... wait, different game.

[@uhjn]

any day door monster uploads is a good day indeed

[@horus_137]

Ck3 Court decisions: "I want your land, and if you tell me to fuck off, I'll plot a murder scheme" "Hi, I know we are your best knights, but we are going to duel to death now, ok?" "Yeah I'm cheating on him, I don't care about the alliance mom, i'm gonna fuck that random nobody" "Give me money, NOW!!!" Such an amazing addition for a 30 dollar DLC

[@infernox1099]

Look, who cares if you get assassinated, firstly, you get a really cool court with a bunch of really cool swords, and second, your heir gets to inherit that really cool court with a bunch of really cool swords without any of the stigma of collecting really cool swords attached

[@johncargille7722]

Always worth it for the really sweet wall decorations

[@Fem_Witch]

As everyone knows, jesters CANNOT be assassins, it's rule #15 in the assassins handbook of deception.

[@Brandonhayhew]

just demand hostage from everyone of your vassals

[@SylviaRustyFae]

Loving your new look; the hair rly works

[@sauluxville]

Boy, did the good King Kyle got some phenomenal royal cooks!

[@Dymose]

"My council will guide you to victory!" ~ Every game advisor ever. "DON'T TRUST THEM!.... Always trust the swoooooaaard!"~ Goblinslayer from Goblinslayer Abridged

[@drakebear1719]

Now I need a Spiffing Brit video on Reanu Keeves holding court

[@ericbambach3222]

He did do a multiplayer stream not too long ago to show off some of the features, he founded the "Duck Dynasty," so named for the waterfowl displayed on their flag.

[@drakebear1719]

@@ericbambach3222 I saw that, but what I want to see is the 100 stat man

[@mirjanbouma]

I'll take two!

[@_TheSplicer_]

The whole decorating with important swords is so relatable with Skyrim.

[@mcdaysalive6586]

Return of the King!

[@valengar7]

Great. I miss Squire a bit here, but an excellent sketch. Hope your doing well, Kyle.

[@mirjanbouma]

Yeah squire would have fitted here so well!

[@SquireComedy]

I'm here old chap, just watching this time!

[@valengar7]

@@SquireComedy Glad you're still kicking around Door Monster. Love your channel as well, Cyberpunk one was hilarious! Right, now who wants to be involved in a plot?!

[@CyanicCore]

Last week I learned a great saying: It's easier to be the rock than the window.

[@linguinnilucas4324]

Another great video. Hope you guys do more CK3 content soon.

[@Graknorke]

I've been loving this DLC so far, artifacts were one of my favourite things about Holy Furry

[@Arisorio]

He is gonna collect a whole lot of swords in his back.

[@Hitherthithergrl]

I’m starting to regret renaming my cat Queensberry to Hester. In my defense, it did sound like a dukedom.

[@claudiolentini5067]

"The Duke of Queensbury, your brother and your uncle" Man, this really hits home

[@fireyjon]

I also vow to return with a really cool sword. Man really cools swords are like 80% of the reasons to even go on quests

[@12Mantis]

At the end there when Kyle was looking left and right I half expected all the people watching to be wearing jester hats.

[@Coid]

When the advisor told the king to make everyone into court jesters, what he really meant was make ME your court jester.

[@LordJike]

Not gonna lie the advisor being made a court jester is what got me

[@jasperzatch610]

Love the ending so much, your guys stuff is the best

[@tominieminen66]

Dew it! Life is finite, court is eternal :P

[@LucasCarter2]

Man I’m digging ck3 royal courts a lot right now.

[@Faxanadu_]

I see him and the Final Fantasy 1 Warrior have a theme in common. They really like swords.

[@jasonpcrawfordauthor]

8-bit theater!

[@RaynmanPlays]

Crusader Kings shows just how horribly we would all fail at being a member of the nobility in the Middle Ages. Honestly, we need a business game that's just as difficult, because _far_ too many people live under the delusion that they could ever successfully run a business. And those tycoon games are _not_ helping.

[@keithreinsel7842]

Like always, fantastic, and a delight. Thanks Door Monster!

[@jthemagicrobot3960]

It's been good to watch you grow

[@tyrant-den884]

I've never had this much ease being assassinated. My last evil empress unlawfully repossessed all the kingdoms in Africa for 18 years before someone finally set her boat on fire for sounding ungracious after loosing a chess game.

[@stephenmcconkey2036]

It would have been more funny that after he said “do it!” He would get assassinated immediately and the advisor be like “I warned him” lolz