Clocks 2 - Butter Luck Next Time | Dave's Cope Saga

[@OpticonVeritas]

Jake: **blinks** Dave: *_"WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!"_*

[@Baronvonkame]

Man triumphantly proclaims he doesn't "need" to season food..

[@emissaryofcharybdis105]

He proudly proclaimed salt and pepper was all he needed. He called chipotle mayonnaise "hot sauce." Dave has the whitest of white people mouth.

[@LordDane1986]

He also he does not appear to know what MSG is, it is in so many things just... naturally occurring. It is a form of salt I think.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

The other thing is that Dave's gloop recipes tend to use a lot of canned goods and prepared foods, which are already loaded with salt and preservatives. There would be no point in adding more salt, and it would make things a lot worse if you did.

[@Nekulturny]

@@LordDane1986 Oh its in absolutely everything. Yeah, when Dave said hes never had a sauce with MSG in it, that confirmed your theory. They even hide it in the ingredients because of the phobia around it, they'll call it things like "natural yeast extract" or "mushroom powder" all natural sources of MSG. That man did not get that lovely figure by not eating a lot of processed food, he eats MSG all day long.

[@LordDane1986]

@@Nekulturny He made a casserole with Doritos! He is... that is so frustrating. It is not because he does not know he is using MSG as to why but because he think he is this all knowing oracle of food, he thinks he knows he does not use MSG as he puts it into food.

[@n0etic_f0x]

I would rather get a urethra than eat his food.

[@LordDane1986]

If you urethra is yellow it is because of added carrot powder.

[@ZERO_O7X]

​@@LordDane1986😂

[@punkrocker1377]

You… don’t have a urethra?

[@n0etic_f0x]

@@punkrocker1377 Dave doesn’t, at least he says he would be loathed to have one.

[@Mike-zx6sl]

you know... the saddest thing is that Jake is the closest thing Dave has to a friend.

[@Xynth22]

Dave is going to have a heart attack watching Jake's videos one of these days. He just gets so mad for no reason.

[@n0etic_f0x]

It is not for no reason, it is because the uncooked wings look uncooked. If the wings look like wings that is a reason to get angry.

[@jbc00per]

"of course they're crispy, you cooked them properly" "WHAT?" God that absolutely buckled me hahaha

[@n0etic_f0x]

He cooked them properly hence why they look like shit and are made by someone who doesn’t know what they are doing. ~ Dave 2023.

[@jbc00per]

@@n0etic_f0x basically what got me hahaha, spent all that time saying it was shit then he said he cooked them fine. Dude needs to stop drinking

[@honeybunnybadger]

"MELK IS WHITE!" is my new favorite dave catchphrase.

[@n0etic_f0x]

You can not make butter from MALK because MALK is not solid!

[@tatiana4050]

And if you make butter from brown cows both butter and milk will be brown. (And chocolate flavoured) Also ghee is yellow.

[@seanl7804]

Dave: I AM THE SIGMA-CHEF! I HAVE TRANCENDED SPICES! EAT MY BOILED CHICKEN BREAST SLATHERED IN CHEESE AND DESPAIR!

[@SSmotzer]

At this point I think Dave wants to be berated. A humiliation kink... of sorts.

[@avenger1340]

Dave has restaurant experience... He is a pro at leaving beard hair in the General Tso at the China Buffet.

[@peterampee-kleisius]

If the butter is yellow, that means the cows did eat a lot of fresh grass outside. If it is white, they ate mainly hay.

[@xXJennismsXx]

I legittimitly don't understand why he feels the need to scream his head off at nothing lol man is gonna burst a blood vessel in his brain someday.

[@MarquisLeary34]

I'll never forget going into Dave's chat and him actually thinking I was Jake. The guy is the very avatar of "If you say you don't care, you really do."

[@HauntedTeacup]

I actually lost my mind at "I don't care, fuck your girlfriend." Man has been yelling this WHOLE time and you KNOW it's because the entire time, he's been thinking in the back of his mind about the fact that you get laid and he doesn't and that fucking SHREDS him

[@Quasita]

Names for the research show: - Dave Diggers - Unearned Hubris of the Basement Troll - Dave's Dirty Details in the Dredges - "I'm Not Obsessed with Jake" : A Dave Discovery Story - Dave-lusions of Grandeur - Dave's Basement and the Infinite Sadness I dunno, thought I'd try... I've been debating doing doing reaction vids of my own cuz I'm a woman about his age and not too terrible looking. Makes me curious to know how hard he'd get at me (if he did at all lol)

[@nicodinisi]

Dave Diggers is the winner

[@yourhorseyepona7309]

I love Dave's Dirty Details myself 😂.

[@zenbear9952]

Dave doesn't realize that milk is not naturally white. It's yellow Dave natural cow's milk is yellow! The milk you buy at the store has been altered through skimming and homogenzing lol

[@nathanjasper512]

Butter is yellow because of beta carotene. It occurs naturally in milk if you feed your cows a lot of grass. This is really easy to Google. 😅

[@lrose5522]

I feel like Dave just so badly wants to have a cook-off with you because you're the closest thing he has to a friend at this point

[@unreasonablyagreeable1081]

it hurts to hear it out loud. Jake is Dave's only friend.

[@emissaryofcharybdis105]

@@unreasonablyagreeable1081 Yeah, I don't think I'd go that far. I think it's more Jake's the only person of any note that's paying attention to Dave. Dave, being the self-destructive person he is, lashes out and tries to feel like he's more accomplished and smarter, because I guess it's all he can think of to behave like.

[@Romanticoutlaw]

this actually made me a little sad 😢

[@lum26akua28]

I hope at least he likes him a bit...

[@mercedeswalt6621]

That’s both hilarious and sad! Like, I’d want to hug poor Dave, but I know I’d come away with sweat, BO, slut shaming and other ridicule, so I wouldn’t. I just feel like the guy is a lost soul who deserve compassion, yet I know he’d drag everyone down with him, and use them as a ladder to climb back up without a second thought.

[@seraphonica]

Of all the things that Jake roasts... Dave has to be my favorite.

[@jaymorgan7728]

You respect your girlfriend so much you let her make her own decisions! ...... 🤔

[@LordDane1986]

Our idea of relationships and how they should work are broken. Let's face it most people think like Dave, it is sad and dumb but it is also true.

[@SLAUGHTERAMA]

…It’s… Okay. MSG, monosodium glutamate, is just salt and glutamic acid. Glutamic acid is what gives meat the umami ‘meaty’ flavoring and mouthfeel, as well as being a tenderizer. Every single barbecue sauce, hot sauce, poultry seasoning, beef seasoning, seafood seasoning, even the salt packets on Top Ramen contain MSG to a measurable degree. If you’ve ever used a tin of Old Bay or a box of Shake and Bake, you’ve used MSG, *Dave*. Why am I explaining the mechanics of organic chemistry as it applies to cooking to a man who chooses to keep analog clocks on the wall?! Also, I’ve seen Dave’s Dorito slop. He has no stones to cast.

[@rodneysmith873]

Yes! Spread MSG awareness! It's not evil or really all that bad for you. Thank you.

[@TenebrusI07]

@@rodneysmith873 i put that shit on everything. probably about 10x healthier than this burger receptacle

[@saraanderson8858]

Gaurantee Dave has no idea what umami is.

[@Feral_Lily]

"NOW I'M FUCKIN YELLIN!" lol

[@n0etic_f0x]

Why does he not think the butter is yellow? I have made butter, and it turns yellow. I have made it in Texas and in Colorado.... it turns yellow. Also, I love MSG. I have had MSG noodles, yes literally they called them MSG noodles and they had butter that was probably yellow because that is the color butter is and chills and I am mad because the plague killed the noodle shop.

[@n0etic_f0x]

Why does he not think fat suspended in a lipophobic solution is an emulsion? The fat is not dissolved into the sauce it is suspended in it... Dave that is what defines an emulsion. Also I have made garlic wings with 3 cloves of garlic per wing... because I want to. And it was also friend in butter, the butter was again, yellow... the color of butter.

[@verager2493]

People don't like MSG either because it sounds like a scary chemical, or because of weird anti Asian racism. It's literally just savory salt. and between confi and emulsion, he seems to conflate cooking techniques with single dishes. Emulsion is when you mayo, and confi is when you duck. As might be expected, things are the opposite of what he says, because good or home made mayo is a pale yellow. The eggs and oil are yellow, and it gets a little whiteness because you aerate it. Also, excessive amounts of garlic is the most reasonable thing you can do. Garlic is great

[@n0etic_f0x]

@@verager2493 I have to I missed the fact he says that you can’t confit chicken wings because I was laughing at him so hard and the idea is hilarious and absurd. The way he describes it is as a specific dish but he describes the cooking method very poorly adding the idea that it has to be Duck and adding baking it to the equation, but what do you expect from a guy who thinks that you can have a urethra preformed on you.

[@5TailFox]

Wait. Did I hear him say too much garlic? Heresy.

[@SeverelyGlitchy]

Geez. Dave is looking rough.

[@ranbummerz729]

What, is seasoned alcoholic not your type? 😂

[@orinjayce]

Everything brings Dave great displeasure

[@ZERO_O7X]

But nothing as much as his own sad lonely existence does. 😂

[@orioncooper1705]

Damn, this is making me remember when the Mini-Fridges' roommate Dave tried to make a MANLY COOKING SHOW (TM) and all he accomplished was beating a chicken breast into 2-D object and then burning it in an oven until God could only weep at the abomination that came out.

[@zwartdude]

His butter rant is so strange... Like my land o Lakes is yellow. The butter sculptures at the state fair are yellow. Stock photos are yellow... I can't remember the last time I saw white butter... Raw milk is slightly yellowish white and that's what becomes cheese and butter. You can't make them with pasteurized milk.

[@JovanDacic]

20:50 Dave, obsessing over why butter is yellow, claims that "they" put carrot dust in butter and cheddar cheese. The coloring agent in most cheddar is annatto, from the achiote seed. Not carrot. If you're going to "well acktschually" that hard, get your facts straight, Dave!

[@blackgreyfox242]

What is the coloring agent in butter though? Nothing? Yes Dave, well or annatto.

[@n0etic_f0x]

The most annoying part is I have made butter before and it was yellow, I found it weird but there it was, I looked it up when I found European style butter and they just have higher standards than us. You can find yellow butter here in America but it is almost double the price. It’s way Europe still sees butter as far more of a luxury than we do, because over there our cheep butter likely can’t be legally sold as butter. There are places where wonder bread can’t be sold as bread because it is considered cake.

[@devildavacado6427]

All I can think is that he mixed up butter and margarine, and when presented with evidence that he's wrong, he just doubles down, as Dave is want to do.

[@TheFhqwhgadsLimit]

The grass Kerrygold's cows eat is high in carotene. So Dave is screaming about how it has to come from carrots, but no, it's the carotene that's in carrots and in the grass.

[@jessicajohnson4992]

All spice is a flavor enhancer. Is Dave mentally redacted?

[@tubaishansol]

Mmmm MSG, the cocaine of cooking

[@nunyabidness4220]

This is the only attention Dave gets. Absolutely nobody else cares about him, and Jake only notices him to laugh at him. Even mockery is better than total irrelevance for Dave. Dave is such a heap of sadness.

[@n0etic_f0x]

I have to give it to Dave he is the most hilarious cooking show ever as he has to be stunned at how uncooked food does not look cooked.

[@KokoroKaisen]

that crunch sound is so good! now i want wings lol

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

Does he not know that MSG occurs naturally in some foods, including cheese, tomatoes, soy sauce, and seaweed? It's not an additive humans invented from scratch. Yes, some people are sensitive or allergic to it, myself included since it's a migraine trigger, but moderation is the key.

[@Popper_Drop]

Acting like not needing as much flavour in your food makes you a better cook is a wild take

[@gleebybooer]

“Yellow butter is possible” holy shit how is he real

[@seraphonica]

When you realize Dave was trying to rip Jake on food hygiene... but you note when he went for a piss and left the video running, he didn't even wash his hands.

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

Well yeah? The piss adds flavour

[@burdenblossom9484]

​@MetalxLicaxPP he's Amish! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@andrewphilos]

He literally only has two vocal tones: 3/10: Everything is terrible! 10/10: HOLY SHIT, A MINOR PROBLEM THAT I'M GOING TO INFLATE INTO A WORLD-ENDING CALAMITY!!! And all I can think is... god. Don't you get tired?

[@andrewphilos]

His apology at the end sounds so insincere, because if he could just drop down to 0/10, humbly admit he was wrong, and move on, it'd be great. But no, even when he's apologizing he's still unreasonably angry. Chill, dude! Chill!

[@n0etic_f0x]

He can’t drop it though, he reminds me of my dad. Like if my dad got divorced before I was born it would be hard to tell the difference. It’s just endless rage and a weird narcissistic ability to be unable to accept that sometimes you fail.

[@elfbreath]

19:47 "I do know butter is made from milk and there is no natural way to make butter yellow. BUT!! There are natural WAAAYS to make butter YELLOW!" Totally convinced Dave doesn't actually listen to himself talk, or remember anything he's said ever. He just drunkenly rambles away about shit he knows nothing about.

[@Dos_Caffeine]

I love seeing more Dave cope

[@devildavacado6427]

33:39 It doesn't surprise me that Dave doesn't understand how plants work.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

As someone who has grown chives from seed as well as propagated them through division, I wanted to tell him, yes Dave, plants grow in the soil. Outside. Under the sun. As in that place you never seem to go.

[@Santiago_Dunbar]

The peanut oil discussion the other day blew my fucking mind. I can't wait for that upload

[@emissaryofcharybdis105]

Is Dave still on his peanut oil bullshit? I remember hearing him talk about how peanut oil was better for flavoring than olive oil during that video of the dude putting it on every ingredient of a burger. It was one of the most unbelievable cooking takes I'd ever heard.

[@flamingogh_]

I watched this live, I can't wait to rewatch Dave embarrass himself so thoroughly

[@n0etic_f0x]

I am trying to understand why he is complaining about how the uncooked chicken is not cooked, I can’t I think Dave believes that uncooked chicken is cooked chicken. I feel like I was driving insane watching it live because I wasn’t exactly sober but I think the video drugged me. Dave kept saying that two batches of wings were cooked when only one was and I was trying to figure out where the second batch was but it doesn’t exist, only one was cooked.

[@flamingogh_]

@n0etic_f0x he was so incredibly intoxicated, he might not have realized that Jake didn't just immediately drop all the wings into oil.

[@n0etic_f0x]

@@flamingogh_ I mean I was super drunk when I watched live and thought there had to be a second batch. I thought I was so drunk that I was the one who was missing something but no, Dave was just gaslighting me into thinking that the other wings were supposed to be done. I figured it out though. He doesn’t know what confit is. Confit is just a means to preserve food at base, the confit wing just are not fried and not supposed to be fried.

[@flamingogh_]

@n0etic_f0x yeah he didn't understand confit. Btw I figured I'd mention this, I actually missed this half of the live, I thought I was around for it but I was around the end and onward, when Dave got on a call. Did you see him argue over oils? That... that was smth.

[@n0etic_f0x]

@@flamingogh_ he shows repeatedly that he has no idea how to cook. Like not in theory, not in practice. Most people with that confidence have at least one of them.

[@aprilk141]

I wonder if he would hate the use of tree gums as an emulsifier? I never liked salad dressings at restaurants because one bite would be oily and the next all vinegar. I found xanthan gum and my dressings have never been better. ❤ Tree gums are used in tons of foods like dressings and popsicles. They have no flavor and no calories because the don't get digested

[@ifadetogray]

Yeah, starting to think that to him you are his best friend, this is Dave's emotionally immature way of showing affection I think, like the friend that thinks they have to constantly tease everyone .

[@RecRoomPlays]

one day i want dave to have a breakthrough and just become a better person i don't know if it'll ever happen, but i want it so badly EDIT: dang, he's so mad about people having basic cooking skills

[@absinthefandubs9130]

Why is he always screaming tho

[@dontuserachelslurs]

Why does it matter if Jake likes Kerry gold? Dave doesn't have to eat it if he doesn't like how it tastes The color of food literally does cause us to enjoy it more even if it's just from food coloring.

[@tonyschannel7438]

Who eats butter? You eat things with butter in it or on it, but most people don't eat straight up better, well ok Melonie Mac does, but like I said most people don't eat straught up butter!

[@breadtheory9972]

You should so come out to MN for a cook off! I volunteer as tasting judge! There could even be a gloop round so Dave doesn’t think the judges are biased against him!

[@gleebybooer]

Dave could try to make the teletubby custard that way he doesnt have to worry about making a cohesive shape

[@darthmoonbear4835]

Carotene does make butter yellow. You know what has a high source of carotene? Grass. If a cow makes white butter, its probably being fed on grains or dry feed. Now, Dave, I know carotene looks and souns similar to the word carrot, but its not the same thing.

[@unsocialburrito7179]

I have been a chef for over 15 years so im gonna spit some knowledge. Anyone who claims the have a msg allergy is a liar. TOMATOES have msg for christ sake. Beef and chicken base have msg, which most every restaurant will use at least a little.

[@HobbiesGamesChillin]

It’s a real allergic response not sure what this is supposed to to mean

[@MichaelWasnotTaken]

This reminds me that a steak competition winner used montreal steak seasoning. It doesn't miss truley.

[@natrixxvision6997]

9:30 Dave, if you can see this, Uncle Roger would like a word with you.

[@natrixxvision6997]

41:52 cheddar cheese is naturally white. and not all of it has the orange stuff added to it. But they’re both yummy.

[@Fatman221]

"You haven't won a Michelin Star Jake!" Jake wins a Michelin Star. "That's only one star! It's essentially trash!" Jake wins a second star. "That's only two! You're basically a hole in the wall bar!" Jake wins a third star. "Michelin Stars are bullshit! Everyone has known that for years!!!1!!!11!!!"

[@cerberusxt7012]

I don't get it. Every butter I ever used is yellow. Is that one of those "outside of france, mayonaise is colored white" situation ?

[@sarahbright82]

Dave is going to have a stroke splitting hairs regarding confit vs oil poaching.

[@QuantumTelephone]

You are absolutely breaking this man's brain

[@surlycanadian]

1:00:20 you didn’t even know he was playing 4D chess on your ass this whole time.

[@seraphonica]

41:20 LET ME SING FOR YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE

[@thefool3130]

He’s so incredibly obsessed with the color of the butter but he’s just wrong. Butter can range from white to deep yellow depending on the breed of cow and what it was fed. It’s entirely dependent on the cow that the milk originally came from.

[@NerdyGuyRanting]

Jake, you need to hand in your leftist card. Because you clearly own a lot of real estate in Dave's head.

[@namelesscompadre4095]

I think Lord of Pantry-arson finally broke Jake in this, him screaming legitimately jumpscared me

[@dumbeldombor]

Im argentinian, i literally had no idea you guys had white butter lol

[@LaylaSpellwind]

Of course they're crunchy. You cooked them properly... I am dead, please use my remains in your next cooking video. I am no longer alive. Holy crap, this is too much.

[@ifadetogray]

all seasonings are flavor enhancers, your use of those flavor enhancers is part of the cooking art.

[@BigMcStronghuge]

There would be no higher honor than to be a judge at the Jake V Dave cook-off. I'd donate so much to the organization that put that on they'd build a library in my name.

[@gingersasquatch94]

19:50 "There is no natural way to make butter yellow BUT there are natural ways to make butter yellow."

[@christophermiller2075]

I see cholula on your counter Jake, you’re a good man 🥲

[@theirishviking]

We Irish and our butter 😂 also his beard is worse than mine

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

Oi, your beard is glorious

[@theirishviking]

@@MetalxLicaxPP nah

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

@@theirishviking Ye

[@theirishviking]

@@MetalxLicaxPP not to be rude but how do you know?

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

@@theirishviking Hidden cameras, Man

[@spacecab1]

He doesn't know doritos has msg? You don't say?

[@anniescornavacca1472]

"The Used to be about History Channel" is the most accurate thing I've heard about it in a decade+ lmao. We should call it that until they get their shit together

[@victorrhoads4471]

I watch many cooking shows yours is great I don’t get his problem

[@rangeraero]

Cheddar cheese was yellow because it was aged in a cave! With a box of scraps!

[@ranbummerz729]

This video perfectly encapsulates why it's ok to be a dick to Dave

[@merbst]

Food is good!

[@Some_Guy_on_the_web]

As someone in Oklahoma, you got either Homeland; which is too expensive or Walmart, which is the only place you can shop in some towns, it sucks lol; I shop at Homeland bc its a Oklahoma based co-op, miles better than Walmart and I can afford the added cost that justify shopping there.

[@anniescornavacca1472]

Cheddar USED TO BE orange bc it was made from grass fed cows. Now they add the orange coloring.

[@HumanIsError]

Dude acts like seasoning and spices are a cheat code.

[@stormbornbjornsson6576]

He’s singin’ copecaine blues

[@redearth55]

aborted to smithereens is now my favorite phrase

[@jaredofmo]

Butter is not made of milk, it's made from cream. This comes from cows and is separated from milk. You agitate it until the fat in it begins to solidify. Kerrygold butter is made from cows with a specific diet that gives it a bolder yellow color. Most American butter is a very pale yellow. It can be colored.

[@zenbear9952]

Cow's milk is also naturally yellowish. It becomes white through skimming and homogenization

[@jaredofmo]

I just want to add, I'm not the most knowledgeable about dairy, I just read Little House in the Big Woods when I was a kid and recently made butter from some heavy cream from Aldi. I'm using the buttermilk for biscuits tomorrow.

[@flunkiebubs2002]

More of TJ's botched clone

[@alecmullaney7957]

Isn't TJ TJ's botched clone?

[@philskrzyn]

I was a professional chef for 15 years and I could talk about Dave's awful cooking opinions but he's so obviously wrong about everything someone who's cooked a thing can tell

[@xiggles]

Wasn't the reaction to Dave's first part of the chicken wings on the channel too? I swore I watched it but now I can't find it, but maybe I'm misremembering idk

[@funkyhoney2672]

DAVE!!! EARBALLS!!!

[@channelname1019]

Dave is a lolcow, but when we MALK! him, we make yellow butter from the cream.

[@Djanck000]

Clock guy is still on his arch?

[@jordinagel1184]

Dave would loose his f*cking mind if he ever looked into Indian or Georgian (the one in the Caucasus, not the US state) cuisine

[@buttzlol]

As an irish person i can only say that everything we do should be viewed as conspiracy

[@Zolet_lionheart]

Why is Dave so stuck on stuff not being orange and why does he think it's an "own"

[@tjsparks1985]

Isn't buttermilk yellow-ish?

[@thomasmackelly7685]

jesus dave, you really need to step back for a moment and chill out. Your vid about self improvement and cutting out beer was good content. Do more of that my guy.

[@Nekulturny]

Okay... I don't know if thats true why the cheddar cheese is yellow or not, but either way, why does he have to be so angry about it? Its only game, why you heff to be med?

[@MrLiabu]

Tajin is pronounced Ta-heen.

[@Eiuol81853]

The second I saw this on my recommends I HAD to click. Watching Coors Mountain Gloop Man cope is one of the best things on this site.

[@XanKreigor]

BOI!

[@nBasedAce]

Hey, I used to be a subscriber a long time ago but I had to stop watching all political content for mental health reasons and I have recently resubscribed. I have been playing the recent Saints Row game and I love it but it seems to have a lot of hate aimed at it specifically because it is "woke", the words of the haters, and I was wondering, have you done any videos on the hate of this game or do you know about any KZbinrs who gave positive reviews of the game?