How to Talk to Anyone | strangers, acquaintances & friends

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FTC: This video is sponsored by BetterHelp! Some of the links above are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if anyone purchases through them. This helps support my channel so I can continue to create videos for ya'll~

[@LotsOfLove4Music]

1. no one is above or below you 2. reflect on recent stuff in life (something learned, funny moment/memory, show/movie you saw, book you read, podcast you listened to, trying something new in life, etc.) - journaling helps with 2! 3. ice pick and mountain analogy: you're "picking" at the person by making conversation, trying to get to know them and "creating snowballs." small snowballs = acquaintances, larger snowballs = closer friends 4. talking to strangers - find something in common and make a connection - observe around you ("how do you know person xyz?"; "i love your earrings, are they vintage?") - (added this one myself) people like compliments and usually like talking about themselves 5. be genuinely interested and ask things you want to know 6. people want to feel heard and seen; if anything, just paraphrase what the other person said 7. last resort: you have every right to leave (if you can) "i'm gonna go use the restroom, i'll see you in a bit" 8. chemistry is real in romantic relationships but friendships too; it's okay to just have certain people as only acquaintances 9. every friendship is different/unique: some friends you party with, some you talk about light stuff with, some you just lay around and do "nothing" with

[@ciao3475]

thank you for this

[@LivinglikeAsh]

I love you… you are a person I would want to keep around like a purse cus like how did you do that… your amazing, even tho I was listening I didn’t know how to write notes, I am not so great at that. Helped so much ❤❤

[@lightningchef2752]

Acquaintances are definitely the trickiest to talk to sometimes, like classmates and colleagues, especially if they already have a not so good image of you or know how awkward you are, but this vid helped, thanks⁹l

[@jacqueslee2592]

Yes, it is true because they already define a persona on you and you are playing the part of this persona. They know you as another person compared to other people. However, personalities and character can change. Some people will consider it as a healthy phase others can see it as multiple personality or what not.

[@amandi7998]

A​@@jacqueslee2592

[@psychegev]

the moment u said "art of conversation according to my head" u immediately became someone i could trust and i thank you for that hack

[@Little.Laturn.Bug.]

I've been known within my freind group to be the most able to handle scocial situations. I often get asked even by my close freinds, "how are you so good at talking with people? You can instantly make freinds with strangers!" But despite what they say, I still struggle internally with trying to hold a conversation. I'm genuinely not sure how in the ever living Hell I manage my way through a conversation. So, despite me being well versed in "making freinds" or "being good with people" I found so much useful information in this video. It was so nice to hear you say to "trust yourself that you will come up with the appropriate responce". I needed that. I think FAR too much about how I come across, and what to say next, and how to be witty enough, etc . . . And it was litigatmetly a breath of fresh air to realize that I AM capable of responding, and that I CAN trust myself enough to make a responce. And in the process be more genuine because of that.

[@carmerreumetinyOnOadyOiceX]

That's honestly so true

[@thu-daloo]

Jenn! I love how you broke this down like a masterclass! I If you continue this series, could you please please do a video on how to navigate conversation in groups? I am an introvert who works in customer service and find it so much easier to flow in “one on one” conversation with strangers/patients, than in GROUPS of acquaintances and sometimes even with groups of friends. Thank you for the energy, thought, and time you put into your projects ❤ I think you are blessing us struggling millennials with this communication series. We grew up in such a digital age. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like they complete freezes in groups, especially in casual/social settings 😅

[@majosec.8844]

Hi if you need a tip I recommend you engage in the conversation, just do it. Sometimes the most extroverted people are the ones who talk in groups. Try to be brave and say something, explain your point of view, how do you feel about something, etc. Don’t let the others over talk and participate . When you start doing it you’ll gain more confidence and it will come natural at some point 🤗

[@majosec.8844]

Also, people who don’t speak a lot have often many great qualities too like they are great listeners or pay attention to details 😍

[@xiaojingli5093]

Hi, I considered myself as a 70% introvert, plus English is not my first language, I always think other people are better than me and a lot of time I feel overwhelmed because of my language skill. I totally understand your feeling, I have similar experience as you, I worked as a skincare specialist a few years ago, I found that experience really helped me to become more active and open to conversation as I needed to talk and greet custormers everyday (Although, I still feel that I lack the confidence to speak in a group.😅 ). So I believe you will feel much confortable if you keep practicing and maybe try to speak in small groups first.

[@cyomara1190]

UGH SAME 🥲

[@EmiliaEros]

Just landed here! Am I cute, yes? 🥰

[@iiArianna]

As an INFP I feel so stuck when it comes to making conversations.. It has been a resolution of mine, I really want to know all kinds of people because like you mentioned, you can learn so much from the people you meet! Thank you so much for making this video 💗

[@strawberryxoxo6841]

INFP here to !!! I’m not social but when ive learned I’ve become a real charmer and favorite of alot of people

[@Faith_saves7]

@@strawberryxoxo6841what are your tips?? Im infp too 😭😭

[@sheijuna]

omg i relate to this as an INTP

[@mniqez]

Literally me 😭

[@Valentino016]

I'm an INFP and I struggle with this

[@clairepianist]

Introverted neurodivergent folks unite 🫠

[@jordanhuizar5416]

Yass lol

[@nathbarbosa83]

Yeees, that's me! 😊

[@samkcatladyaks]

Lol here we are, always learning 😂🎉❤️

[@penguintooth6]

lmao yesss 😭😭

[@Nifflernugget248]

Here!! :)

[@morkmeinyourheartt]

tbh the one thing that i learned abt how to talk to your coworkers is ask questions, then when they answer, keep it rolling, dont be afraid to tell YOUR side of your story.

[@ft.apuuhh]

6:32 I used to be a huge extrovert when I was younger. When I take a look at my old diaries all of the pages would be filled with very random things like dialogues from a movie that I came across or a conversation my parents had which I heard etc. and ever since I stopped doing it was the beginning of my introvert era

[@cherryvanils]

samee

[@michlln]

I really like your analogy of ice picking a mountain! thanks for breaking down your ideas into digestible chunks and providing actual helpful tips that you use too. thank you jenn!

[@JamesEvans-yn9hh]

no but your mind will as ben clearly has cheated on you and you will be divorcing soon, he's British lol affairs are in his blood

[@lay.alayzx]

THIS IS SOO HELPFUL..and i hate it so much when People say “They are better than you” LIKE I DON'T CARE IF SOMEONE'S BETTER.. IT'S ME VS ME.

[@FoxyGrandpaalltheway]

I was THE introvert, but I swear that ever since you started your communications degree in Davis, I had loved researching and committing time into communication tools and techniques. It’s crazy how disconnected I had became during COVID and avoided communication to avoid building new friendships with peers in social settings, I could only take one person at a time. That PTSD really broke down after I reconnected with myself and did the work again in CBT therapy. Now for the commutation tools that will help me thrive again. Absolutely loving it, ty Jen!!!

[@blackswan6756]

I’ve been so shy and anxious especially since the pandemic and some mental health struggles so I really tried to avoid people. I still get so nervous and I feel really awkward talking to strangers… but I really wish to connect with new people again. I hope that it will start to feel more natural again with some practice…

[@walqqr1]

hey there, just don't be so hard on yourself, go slow, one day at a time, you will get there.

[@blackswan6756]

@@walqqr1 thank you for your words! Actually, I’ve been told that a lot recently but I always need to remind myself… i always get too frustrated with myself

[@michellekyang]

Your hair looks immaculate! And I’m a true introvert, social gatherings make me so anxious I will have a break down. If I’m able to get out there, I am so awkwardly silent it’s alarming

[@i.k4207]

me too girl...

[@AnhPhuong-jk8td]

00:01 Taming social anxiety and confident conversation 02:00 Avoid coming off as smug or arrogant when interacting with others. 04:02 Reflect on your life and experiences before engaging in a conversation. 06:00 Journaling helps with preparedness and retaining information. 08:00 Use the ice picker and mountain of snow analogy to engage in meaningful conversations. 10:05 Initiate small talk by finding common ground and testing the waters. 12:11 Start with broad strokes and open up first 14:17 Paraphrasing what others say makes them feel heard and understood. 16:15 Building relationships from strangers to friends is a process involving icebreaking and chemistry. 18:05 Overcome social anxiety by talking to strangers Crafted by Merlin AI.

[@victoriacolmenarez]

Hola Jenn! I've been a dedicated follower for about 8 years now, and I've been thinking: wouldn't it be amazing if you started your own podcast? Your wisdom and constant realizations are incredibly insightful. We're around the same age, and experiencing life through your perspective is something I truly cherish. I'm certain many others would relate and absolutely adore a podcast from you. You'd be so good at it!

[@awesomepotato8517]

@@Playsch00l given the current landscape on the internet and the toxic cancelling culture, there are million reasons to not speak up against any political and global affair online (but it doesn't mean we don't care) Besides, action is louder than words! Jenn is spreading her knowledge and positivities through her videos regarding other topics - which I think is more effective to make the world better. If there is anything we can do to make the world better, it should come from within all of us. Perhaps we can learn to speak to others who don't agree and change their views forever! ;)

[@nosiebangchan]

Ikr her way of speaking is to articulate!

[@macy1326]

This video is what I rly wanted🥹🥹🥹🥹 as a master student in London, it’s my first time ever to study abroad and live by myself. I used to love to talk to people but since I came here, I realized how bad my English is and compares anything (anything) myself to anyone I met. That’s how I lose all my confidence I had and I’m still struggling to get back confidence ☹️😫😫 I remember when I first met my course mates, I was so shocked that people left me after talking a few minutes. Since then, I’ve been avoiding to join any party. even though sometimes I don’t rly need to join if I have something prioritize, I’ll give it a little bit of try to talk to new people whenever I have chance. Your video encouraged me to try a little more, thank you so much Jenn 🥺🥺🥺

[@Holyfro_]

I feel so bad when it comes to conversations with ppl I’m not super close with. I think it’s the acquaintances. When they say something my mind is just always blank. Like I want to say something, I want to show I care and listen lol but I just don’t know what to say. I ask myself “do I truly care? Is that why I can’t think of anything “ idk this vid was helpful

[@GoldhenChild]

This was a great video. I feel like you would make a great counselor/therapist just based off how eloquent you are, how introspective you are and your life experience on working through certain things (such as talking to anyone). That's what I appreciate most about my therapist is she feels relatable like sorting through the mess of life with someone who "gets it".

[@LonaLee]

Your KZbin channel is one of my top 5. Love it! Thank you so much! 🩷

[@MaryJoy0414]

Thank you for this video Jenn! I was struggling with Social Anxiety since I was a child and it was so difficult to live and enjoy life to the fullest when you are carrying that burden. I hope I can also have the strength and courage to tame my Social Anxiety because it was hindering from living a happy and beautiful life.

[@georgiayancey]

i struggle with this so much! thank you for taking the time to put it together 💕

[@cordelilah]

So glad someone else sees interacting with people the same way as me! Very helpful tips, LOVE the chipping at the mountain analogy! It's perfect to describe what it feels like to hit a dead part in a convo or a really fun flowy part.

[@keirajaded]

Okay I freaking absolutely love this background music you chose! It really creates a bigger picture and activates my inner child’s feelings🥰✨❤️ including the Christmas wintery sounding one about talking and getting more snow/info from your besties🥰❤️😂✨🫶🏻

[@sellawihelmina9257]

Glad that your video comes up on my recommendation page! I used to be really good in handling conversations with strangers and build a network easily but growing up in the past few years where I'm tired with this adulting situation I feel like maybe talking to less people would help me more focus with my own issues but turns out it made a new issue where I don't know how to talk to people and suddenly have social anxiety 😥 what you said about talking to anyone is like muscle that you need to practice a lot is totally true! It's good to have a break sometimes from people to reconnect with yourself but we still need to maintain our connection with people out there. And, thank you for such a great video ♡

[@LindaQueLeenda]

One of my favorite books is called, "You’re not listening.” So good!

[@passonfruitem8349]

happy holidays jenn! perfect timing me n my girls are ab to watch 💓💌

[@armyqueens]

HER MINDSET>>>>>

[@JR-ws6dt]

Amazing video Jenn. Super helpful for all us introverts/ socially anxious peeps! Saved it so I can watch again before going out lol

[@haoyingwang4029]

Really like the analogy of ice picking a mountain! The journey of getting to understand someone is like steadily gathering snow and forming a snowball. Over time, the snowball grows larger and larger, and the big snowballs represent your closest friends.

[@whois_arielle]

This video was so timely!! It popped up on my feed as I am preparing tomorrow to have a conversation on a first date! Thank you for helping me feel calm and prepared!

[@CosetteAmelia]

I love the intro scene to this! so creative

[@jacfung962]

Thank you so much for this video! This is the first time I watch your video and it makes my day! I am really anxious in chatting with others and what you disclosed are definitely useful in my daily lives! Your speech is just so fluent, smooth and confident and I found it very comfortable to watch this. TIME just passed so quickly.

[@genesisbenitez454]

As an introvert, this helped me a lot with social anxiety and depression I made some friends at school ❤

[@lyviaray8819]

So much insight in this video! Thanks so much for sharing, Jenn 🥰

[@JenniferHuangDeng22]

I relate and love the information you talk about in this video. I am an introvert, but sometimes I like talking to people and make friends. In middle school, I tend to start the conversations with strangers and manage to make some good friends. In high school, sometimes I will start the conversations, but some people will not continue the conversation and just ends it. At first, I was a bit disappointed and sad that they will not continue the convo. I thought I was the problem, I thought people think I was boring. But, at the same time I know that is not true. I got over the disappointment fast after. Life has its ups and downs, just like in conversations. Is ok if there is no connection between the people you talk to. At least, we try our best to start a conversation with people while being our own genuine selves.

[@LuLuJenna]

Thank you so much for this video Jenn! I'm so glad i finally found you and your channel. This is so helpful! This came from me, a person much older than you!

[@SyedaHumaaa]

Such quality content! Love you jenn. Thankyou! 💕🫶🏻

[@paulav3976]

This is really helpful!! Thank you Jenn!!!❤️

[@bingespiritu8782]

Thank you Jen! Really helpful! God keep and bless you and your family!

[@ammaarahabrahams4634]

Thanks Jenn 😊! Such a great video, super helpful.

[@janinecanono8077]

Gosh, Jenn is just a burst of good energy and motivation seriouslyy 💗 I felt sooo inspired watching this video, and not just about the art of talking to anyone, but inspired about the totality of my life lol. That's how I feel whenever I watch her video. You get to learn so much in many ways and makes you appreciate life and yourself. Please continue to be you Jenn, I see you thriving and glowing more than ever!! keep going, queen!

[@aileen_lai]

Purely delightful and inspirational as always. Thanks for sharing all the useful tips🫶

[@konafamily1083]

Hey Jenn nim, thank you so much for the video. God Bless you and your family!

[@julia5669]

Love this video, you made it seem so easy to start getting working on it! A video to repeat watching every once in a while ❤

[@KelseyLynnMusic]

Appreciate this video so much ❤ have been subscribed to your channel for an eternity and have loved growing with you.

[@withluv_renee]

I think it also really helps to see how your many recorded videos can help you reflect on your own convo/speaking skills too!

[@tessarose8430]

i love your outlook on this!

[@daniellomeli926]

PEOPLE CAN ONLY MEET YOU, AS DEEPLY AS THEY'VE MET THEMSELVES... so before anything really get to know yourself and be happy with who you are… Great video and a great visual to pair with it as well 😉👍🏼

[@coreennah]

the infomercial in the beginning LOL. these are great reminders Jenn! i have social anxiety and always struggled with putting myself out there, but having these tips in mind (and in my notes hehe) will help hype me up for events :)

[@ic3482]

This was a very helpful video. I especially like what you said about being able to learn something from anyone. Always be humble and open minded

[@veronique0531]

Wow, these are really good and helpful. Thanks Jenn ♥️

[@ilovedesserts1792]

thank you for the work that you do Jenn! Love you lots

[@rizkirahmadania]

THANK YOU JENN!!

[@MalinaCC]

Really appreciate these tips!

[@ankitadey9040]

This video changed my mindset to some extent. And felt so helpful. I'll try my best to keep that "no one is below or above you" mindset and go on with connecting. All I'm worried about mostly is that I respond too frankly to any stranger but I'm bad with asking questions myself. Gotta work on that!

[@freepalestine9645]

Thank you Jenn ❤

[@SARA-fw3dh]

I feel that you are like me… the vibe and the energy!🥹🩷🩷🩷

[@LifeofAlessia]

This is the first video I've seen by you, and it was incredible! This is such real and practical advice and you are so beautiful and funny and I loved the special effects and the crazy examples. Thank you -subscribed

[@ZDY66666]

My solution was simple. 1) care but dont truly care about what people think 2) get better at talking and convincingly talk with confidence and talk with a directive and power.

[@Kiakia08]

Omg! I was looking for a video like this, i really loved it❤❤❤

[@asmaahermosa]

This is the most helpful video by far, thanks!

[@cosmicbunny1753]

Watching this video made me WANT to talk to strangers. That's a rare feeling, so I'd say this video was very helpful lol. Thanks!

[@hanagolme5665]

Love your videos about speaking , communicating and conversations Definitely learn alot every time i watch your videos Have a great life 🌸

[@mahi_m69]

That's so amazing 😍 I love how you explain everything

[@PlayerThePurple]

Great advice, thank you very much!

[@radioforthebirds]

Something thats really helped me is framing a conversation as something closer to playing music together rather than an information exchange. A lot of times people just want to play/interact, and the content of a conversation is kind of like the lyrics to a song… sort of irrelevant to a lot of people (compared to the mood and rhythm that the song creates). In acting classes we do an exercise where we have a “conversation” in jibberish talk, and it still mostly functions as a conversation… sometimes even better.

[@carylannebeltran]

This was actually so insightful and interesting and makes sense. Thank you, Jenn!🤍

[@kyungminnam]

this is so so helpful!

[@jesusiskingofmyheart]

As an introvert & a new nurse, this video was for me! 😆💗 Ty Jenn!

[@connie0613]

🥺

[@jesusiskingofmyheart]

This hair color and length looks SO good on you! 😄😍

[@skeyelerbeurbon]

I needed this video in my lifeee thank uuu ⛓️🫶

[@zplusclassroom]

that is so helpful.. indeed one can be confident with oneself then no one can avoid your charm

[@madsolea]

Love these strategies. We don’t talk to people just to talk anymore.

[@IvoryKun-ch4qw]

Girlll, you're my savior 💕

[@tremblaycam95]

Great USABLE tips to get better at having conversations with strangers. Loved it!

[@MariaEduarda-fu7hk]

thank you so much for this video 💗

[@nattelluh]

The content we need!!!

[@zeprute6486]

That ice pick and mountain anology was absolutely gorgeous.

[@dominiclim0601]

Preach pls jenn.... There's so much problem with society right now on striking a new and genuine conversation 😊❤

[@sonayung]

girl thank you so much! You really helped me

[@hambonefakenamington69]

thanks for this, it's so detailed, applicable and helpful

[@luisabustamantepalacio992]

Thank you! This helped me a lot

[@phoobadeepholpruk4545]

Your ice picking a mountain anology makes how conversation work so vivid. Thanks for sharing ❤️

[@ali_engin33r]

this is such a nice video, I love the fact that you inspire people to go out and make new friends

[@miguelzamora2011]

Look up Ford Theory, Family, Occupation, recreation, dreams/aspirations. Kinda a cheat sheet i ask about each of these topics when I'm stumped on words.

[@trra7785]

Whenever I get into an overthinking situation being nervous of how people will judge me based on something I want to say or do, I just ask my self "why would they be mad or judge me at this?", As long as it's appropriate and you're not hurting anyone I'm pretty sure you're safe. And if they do judge you, It's their problem.

[@j3j3m0n]

Thank you very much for this video

[@HenAndPenn]

I wish I had this years ago. Thank you so much for helping

[@darthtyrion8057]

Thank you for this video

[@KelseyWangxy]

You enlight my morning!

[@untitled493]

More videos like this, please! I enjoy them so much

[@connie0613]

Agree

[@dorothyjean8673]

I really love this kind of content. ❤❤❤

[@disenomicode9283]

You give out such good vibes ❤🎉

[@airwickjasmine]

love the anology to picking ice out of a mountain learnt something as always love this one!

[@sarasaade46]

Wow this is my first time watching a video for you jenn and yet im hooked im definitely gonna be watching again the fact that u did not yap abt it was rly special bcz a lot of advisers just dont get the information straight into my head but you had clear instructions 💗 💓

[@grasyaaaaa.]

Wow, this is great timing as I will be going on a trip with my partner and his friends (who are my acquaintances) this weekend! Can't wait to put some of these tips into good practice! Thank you, Jenn!😊

[@deIcorazon]

thank you!!!

[@shaggysmurf4422]

The snowball analogy is absolutely genius. I like that. I'm gonna keep it in mind as I start to build my new social circles.

[@ab__5464]

the snowball thing is sooo cuteee