Clutter is gaslighting you and how to prevent it

[@yourpalwhit]

Oh this hits hard. My clutter tells me two things very frequently: 1. If you get rid of me, you'll forget the memory (or person who gave it to me) and 2. I'm someone else's forgotten memory and history would be lost if I was thrown away. Being sentimental with stuff is such a mind game.

[@estherchandy6292]

Never thought of it as Gas lighting but thinking of possessions in terms of our relationship to them puts a new spin on "things" - some are supportive and help us grow (my Kindle, my sewing machine, my cell phone to an extent, my running shoes) Some are time wasters -my cell phone, my shelf decor, Some emotionally blackmail me -unused gifts, sentimental objects Some Gaslight me ..you cannot do without me, i make you look good (make up, unnecessary clothing) I give you "class" and social acceptance. So true. Thank you for helping me see a new perspective

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Love how you expounded on that, so good! ❤️

[@Pausereflectandbreathe]

I know my clutter is talking to me. 😂 When I was depressed without knowing it, I felt like the things in the house are choking me. So I'm not the only one experiencing it. Glad to know. Thank you Rachel! ❤️🙏

[@SF-ru3lp]

Every encouragement to you, Hope, for facing into incremental improvements! G Ire

[@thelmakatherine5396]

❤ I am one minute in and realize those same exact words would pop into my mind, too. I am prepared for anything apocalyptic but not a simple visit from a friend.

[@SF-ru3lp]

Take encouragement from that realisation, Thelma. (Lovely name!) Hope it spurs you on to incremental improvements that lift your spirit, lighten your load and prepare you for friends calling in. X G Ire

[@carolann811]

Something else I thought of. "You'd be wasting money if you decluttered me." My mom passed away last year. Before that, we'd been making a little progress on decluttering. Swedish death cleaning made sense to her. But she had things that didn't fall into that category in her mind, like hand lotions and some other product she was 'using up' even though she didn't like the smell or the feel. She said she was, "Waiting until it's gone before I buy something else because I paid for this." She passed away before using them up. I tossed out the hand lotion. It did smell terrible. And I feel sad that she never felt she was worth better-smelling lotion or the item spoke to her so loudly she just couldn't let go because of wasting money. That it was more important to be dissatisfied with something than replace it. And it did fall under Swedish death cleaning to some extent since I still had to deal with it. Maybe if she'd gotten better-scented lotion, I would have kept it :)

[@MsAdaCat]

Thank you for sharing

[@sandy-rr1by]

Exactly! Clutter clings and resists leaving....but i managed to offload a couple bags of books yesterday. I was going great guns last year but serm to have run out of steam!

[@amandachapman4708]

What mine says to me: "If you get rid of me, you will need me next week / next month / one day soon."

[@GoingGreenMom]

Decluttering my kitchen..... sooo many helpful things turn out to be hurtful when it makes it harder to keep the kitchen clean.

[@denisemaryott6014]

Since finding your channel I am now looking at things differently. I recently cleaned my closet and used your tips to trim down my clothing. I still had clothing that I had not worn for years. I feel very liberated and so much easier finding things in my closet. An added bonus is that I feel like I have more things to wear.

[@Nourishingminimalism]

That's awesome Denise! It's so much easier when the things we have are the things we like! ❤️

[@Nansense1023]

I had collected extra school supplies and desk supplies because all five members of our family had a desk at one time. That meant accumulating 5 staplers, tape dispensers, scissors, staples, etc. In truth, we had more. I had multiple folders, notepads, etc. After the kids grew up and left home, I kept all of that stuff in the basement. I also had fabric galore, Stamping Up stamp sets and all matters of craft supplies. It was all weighing me down. I’ve donated most of it and it feels good. If I take on a craft project from now on I will buy the supplies for that one thing and complete it. No more hoarding extras. I never knew why I couldn’t be efficient at housekeeping. I know now that I was burdened by all of the excess in my home. Thanks for your videos, Rachel. I love your take on minimalism ❤️

[@teresavail5238]

Thanks for reminding me to get rid of those curtains in a bag in the garage I've put blinds up

[@voiceojane]

Yes, so true. And isn’t it funny…how the voices of our clutter sound a heck of a lot like people in our lives, or our own mean-to-ourselves voice in our brain?? 🤔

[@married40years53]

Another great, helpful video. I stockpiled so much food and it did not make me want to cook more. Having an over abundance of food did not make me feel secure. My husband and I donated a massive amount of food to our church. checking on all the expiration dates and making sure nothing had expired. To bless someone else with this food actually made me feel better than holding it all for some possible future calamity. Since that time, I have been making wonderful, homemade soups with fresh ingredients and freezing a container here or there and that is sufficient. I know in the end that God will provide for all of our needs. Everything is going to be OK. My husband and I moved into a smaller home about nine months ago. I am still going through boxes of stuff that we brought from the bigger house that have been stacked in the garage. I have had so much fun filling up old Amazon boxes with stuff that I no longer need. I do it with the attitude that someone else is probably going to get a really good deal on a nice or useful object, that no longer serves me. I now command my stuff, (for the most part lol,) not other way around. You have helped me sooo much Rachel! Thank you. ❤️

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Wonderful! ❤️

[@rg-mi5hh]

Decluttering daily helps us get rid of a lot of stuff that isn 't needed. It may be just one item a day, but it helps.

[@nataliejones6269]

"Think on what is true" -- this is a good application of Philippians 4:8! Thank you!!

[@danicegewiss862]

I just put two ice cream scoops in the donate bins. I really don't need them. Spoons work just fine. I had too much stuff. I'm thankful that they're going. Your hair is adorable. I bought a high quality can opener that actually opens cans. To get rid of it, would mean not opening cans, nothing more. I got rid of two when I bought it 10 years ago. It still works!

[@brightpurpleviking]

This is all so true! I have things of value that I have been given that are all nothing but clutter to me. These items range between $20-$5000. But I’m overwhelmed when I think of how to get them sold, where to sell them, how to ship them, etc. and they fill me with angst. If only there was a company where we could take these items that whisper “guilt and overwhelm” at us to liquidate them! I tried an auction house in Cincinnati but they ripped us off, stole some things, and have left us nervous.

[@Nourishingminimalism]

That's such a disappointment with the auction house. I'm sure you could ask for recommendations for one that people have used and had better experiences with.

[@andalltheangelssay212]

Maybe you could donate a lot of them for free and be happy in the knowledge that you will be making someone happy and helping people in need x

[@kimberlyh2842]

Thanks for acknowledging these emotions.....and LOVE your hair!

[@simonearsenault-may6814]

Hello! It is SO TRUE that the decluttering muscles get stronger! And much like regular weight training (which I only vaguely recall, but anyway…), there are areas of your muscles that are stronger than others and some that need more work… Thanks for this video and all of your ways of approaching all of this! It’s so needed, even as we get better, like a trainer with sorts and stuff!

[@kathrynn3936]

Your hair is very pretty at this length!!

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Thank you 😊

[@findingaway5512]

You look veey lovely. Love your hair and your shirt and your spirit. 🙂 So true about us hearing the negative thoughts from our stuff or what we perceive they are saying and the reality of it.

[@TheChronicoles]

Yay! A Rachel video! I now just want them to be 10x longer 😂😂 so soothing

[@Nourishingminimalism]

🥰

[@debbyjo123]

Yessssss LONGER!!!

[@CherryBlossomPlumtree]

I started using the term 'gaslighting' independently in the 70s after seeing the film 'Gaslight'. I don't know how often it was being used before that time. But nowadays it seems to be very popular. My clutter often says to me 'if you get rid of me, there will be a big empty void where I was and there'll be nothing to fill it. I know it's lying, but it can be so convincing😂

[@momof2momof2]

When people (relatives) give you something from their homes, it's because THEY don't want it in their home any more lol. Oh yes, I have gotten the " it's such a good thing" " It's so pretty" " You should love this" ...to which I reply " But YOU don't want it" lolol. Have a lovely day Rachel ! 🥰💐🍒💗✝

[@sharon-CheriBomArt]

Hard at 63 to be buried in stuff. Depression, work...my CLUTTER COMFORTED me. NOW, I want most GONE, to be FREE & move around. Do hobbies, etc. ONE day at a time...🎉

[@estrela3889]

Yes, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Fear can be there, it's ok. Do it anyway. --- again many take aways, Rachel!

[@Ellie-Mae]

Really appreciate your wisdom.

[@denise76]

Thank you! This is both enlightening and liberating. Is like I needed someone to tell me the truth without just telling me to throw everything out. You broke it down clearly and honestly spoke to what is going on inside my head.

[@jennyjenkins877]

I like your take on this! ❤‍🔥

[@sabihakhan2463]

Thanks Rachel, letting go of the emotions brings clarity and perspective.

[@Carobmoth]

This resonates with me in many ways. I've been going through another 'layer of the onion' for a while and I'm currently depending on a quarantine bin for items that I just keep going back and forth over. It's been a bit slow, but effective. It helps if I mark the date with the items. Once six months have gone by, it's not so difficult to send a few things off to the charity shop. Along with some others, Nourishing Minimalism has been very helpful through the process.

[@uzmaijaz7821]

Rachel my dear as always I enjoyed the video sooo much! Very interesting, informative, excellent and motivational video

[@uzmaijaz7821]

Oh my goodness!What an Instant reply!My darling you're Amazing!

[@juliemix3373]

Rachel, such good questions to ask ourselves. "Is it true?" is the one that really is helpful to me. Thank you for this post. Cheers

[@anitasmith404]

What an insightful perspective! 👍👏🌷

[@joidavis5210]

You are so right, love this!!!

[@dianarommel1862]

Loved seeing the Dala horse on top of the wooden cabinet. 🐎☺️

[@Lisa-kz2vb]

So grateful for you, this is exactly what Ive felt. Ive been slowly working on things and your videos have helped a lot.

[@deannaw9657]

I love that you talk about this on a regular basis because I think I struggle with this the most. Your wisdom is unmatched. Your story about Paul's coat is my go-to guidance when feeling guilty about getting rid of things. Please always keep making these videos! ❤

[@shirleycombs2878]

Love your hair.

[@politesmile7812]

I just got back into your videos after awhile off decluttering videos. Why do you look 5 years younger all of a sudden?! You look amazing

[@Noreenlee1]

Inspiring in the best way.

[@tiashadae1143]

Can relate to this so much, thank you ❤

[@litestreamer]

Thanks, I need to view more of these - getting ready to move next month!

[@RD-bq6uq]

Your hair is looking really nice in this video

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Thank you 😊

[@kirstyfirth4134]

Great video as always. I love your hair! ❤

[@pattiharrison1211]

Hi, thank you for this video. It’s kind of amazing how many of these thoughts run through my mind. I thought I was probably the only person that thought like this, lol. One thing you mention, and as a mother, I just want to say, anything I have given my children (adult children and their husbands/wives) I really, really do not want them to keep something that I might have given them (or their children) when they feel it is time for them to let it go. I try to tell them is occasionally as I have learned from you, and others, this is a hurtle and can contribute to clutter. Thank you for sharing. Another great video. ❤️

[@kennethbailey9853]

Always did in the past but No Longer!🙂

[@BeckieZullo]

Great video. You get it. Thanks.

[@BL-rb7jm]

I'm a crazy One because I love canning jars. You can put so much in the jars. But I have to curb my desire because I used to can a lot of food when I was fifteen. Can homemade cherries can homemade tomatoes. Can homemade apple sauce. I was so busy when I was young. And the reality It's just me now. And I don't do the canning that I should be doing. And I used to do it in the oven. That's the easiest way. The space for jars should be thought out carefully. I used to freeze some food in the canning jars. And if you get the new canning jars not the old ones then you can do it. And make sure there's enough headspace when you put them in the deep freeze. If you get the old canning jars they will break in the freezer and if you don't leave enough head space for the food to expand you will. Also have a broken jar.

[@nancedavis5649]

I love your videos and this one was especially good and helpful. How did you know that I kept the curtains in a bag from the home where we have now lived 23 years. If I didn't like them, will it really be the style a prospective buyer will want? Oh my! It has been 9 mos. since my mother, who lived with me, has passed away and I have all her possessions just waiting in her rooms to go through and discard. I know that she would not be mad if I just discard it all! It was hard for her to get rid of it, which is what she wanted to do before she died. It has been hard for me to even begin. But I'm ready to embrace the freedom from it all and have new uses for those two rooms (oh, and the basement is full of stuff too. That's another project, unless poop happens like it did for you! 😂Then it will all need to go too! )Thanks for the "Permission" to not have to keep any of it for the sake of my mental health and freedom to live peacefully in my own home. I do love your longer hair so much! You are a blessing to me Rachel!

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Thank you Nance ❤️❤️

[@paulq9293]

'When you get old, you'll wish you had kept me.'

[@debbiestrang7774]

Good advice!!! Thank you 😊

[@lauriedixon9661]

My stuff says,'I am preparing you for every eventuality. I'll be here when you get that high-powered job in the city and need these clothes. I'll be here when you have that special occasion to go to and need a fancy outfit, etc.' If I try to remove it, it says 'you spent and wasted good money on me.' I'm braver now and can say to it 'get in that donation bag!' 😅 It's amazing how powerful our relationship is with stuff, sometimes more powerful than the relationship with have with other humans.

[@thebritfix]

I really like this video. You showed off different angles, your hair looked nice, and you doing household things just made it feel really personal like.. your my aunt I called on FaceTime for some advice. I've been rewatching past vids several times because im forced to move abruptly and im so overwhelmed with my accumulations

[@maritzasylvia]

Thank you so much ❤ 🇿🇦

[@heatherbosshardtmusic]

Oh those phrases!! Wow!

[@eydiehostetler9123]

Love that you phrase things in The Work of Byron Katie! Her work is life-changing, isn’t it?

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Oh, I had never heard of her! Thank you for sharing. I probably heard someone quote her, I had no idea where it came from. ❤️

[@BL-rb7jm]

I love baking and I was raised Owed in the country and we had a woodstove and aim electric stove backup. So I would do lots of bread and cakes and cookies by hand and raise the brand race a bread on the Woodstove. Is baked pies in the oven. At fifteen years old I was doing all this plus I was making my own clothes. And we had an organic garden. So I missed that lifestyle. I was skinny minni. So it would be kind of stupid to try to think. I could go back into a size 4or 6. However there is one thing I do have control of. And that is what I eat. So focus on what you do have control of and use that as your base line.

[@jennifermarques6159]

I have done the 2023 challenge. I did over 2,000 so far (mostly paper). I never thought I had this much stuff or that I would be done by September. Although I like to color in the boxes and to know I did 2000 small dents into my clutter, but I feel like keeping track slowed me down as I was keeping a tally in my head. I tried counting at the end, but then I was touching things twice and you know how that can go. Coloring or writting down after each item was not feasable either.

[@ginaferracini9375]

In other words live like you don't live there..i had a girlfriend many years ago who lived like that ..i was shocked! But now i understand.❤.

[@janiceirby6035]

Where did you get the painting of the dog with the blue background.

[@SassySue67]

I think she painted it herself. She did a couple of painting videos a while back.

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Yes, Sue is right, I painted it. 😊

[@janiceirby6035]

I'm a big fan of your videos. They are so good for my mental health. Thank you. The painting is amazing.

[@Mymimemei]

It would hurt your mothers feeling is a BIG one for me

[@dawnratzlaff4685]

Somebody else may be able to use it!!

[@carolann811]

I've had some interesting experiences with decluttering and becoming more minimal in the context of being a Wiccan/witch. (It can be a very object-driven path to follow. I'm not sure I've ever seen a minimalist witch anywhere.) There are objects in my religion that do speak to me -- literally. They become part and parcel of my beliefs and practices and I cherish them. Then there are little imposter items who say, "Oh, but I'd fit right in with X, Y and Z. You kept them. Keep me." I'm tempted, truly, to add them to the mix. Sometimes I do. But in the end, they do not speak with the same honesty or resonate so strongly as other objects. And after a brief time being shuffled around, they too go away.

[@ivaupson6647]

Please send me the link to the free pdf minimalist mindset

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Here you are: app.convertkit.com/landing_pages/173852?v=7

[@BL-rb7jm]

When something is helpful it has to be backed up with proof. It isn't It's like that ex husband or ex boyfriend that says I'm helpful I can help you. I have a whole list of things I can do for you, But you're the one that ends up doing everything in the end. While the slob just sits there and watch this t v. So don't let your things just sit there without making it work for you and if it doesn't kick it out. 😊

[@BL-rb7jm]

Gaslighting l o l. Sounds like my old boyfriend that I needed to get rid of before he was gonna end up breaking my life forever! Just like material things that are unwanted guest he was an unwanted guest. As soon as you get rid of all your unwanted guest, you won't have them around gaslighting you. 😅