Get Your Family Helping (Without the Complaints)

[@bethmannino3993]

I have been working on myself and areas that I can control. We are now going through a renovation and guess who is cleaning and getting rid of stuff because other people will see his areas. I have been praising him even though I wasn’t the catalyst. I’m just thankful for the motivation he has. 🎉. I think he was overwhelmed and now he’s over the hurdle and can see the finish line.🏁

[@ReneeDennis-x8h]

My husband has always been helpful, but wow once I minimized items & he started experiencing it, he started doing it too. Observation is not underrated! 😊

[@deborah-y6i]

Cass you look beautiful. I love how real and transparent you are. I've been married 48 years. I helped that I married my best friend. Men are different from women. They like to be appreciated. I never made rules what his jobs and my jobs would be around the house. I went grocery shopping and bought too much junk food. He decided to show he how to grocery shop. I accidently dropped a large can on my foot. Last time I went grocery shopping. I never made meat loaf, but he liked meat loaf, so I tried making meat loaf. It was so bad the dog refused it. He does most of the cooking, which makes sense he does the grocery shopping. I enjoy yard work. I do the yard work. I wash the cars. I also clean the house. Over the years we have decided as a team who is best at certain chores. I pay the bills, he makes the money. He is an amazing handiman. I read a book many years ago about marriage and it was compared to a tree growing. Hope this will help someone. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. We stayed up late to work out some disagreements. Also anything we say after 8pm doesn't count because we're both tired.

[@boog.2751]

Great advice. We are going on 36 years. I think one of the things you are saying with your advice, is "pick your battles" within marriage and also as a parent and thats my mantra. Every morning, I try to thank God for 5 things before getting out of bed, which always includes my hubby and our special needs son. It's hard to just do 5 things most days but a thankful heart has been the best medicine for me. Merry Christmas!

[@poppyseed389]

Wow cas you've dropped so much vulnerability, wisdom and guidance in this one podcast. This may be your best one yet!

[@kimberlywalker280]

What an amazing method....thank you. I really appreciate you being real.

[@BigSkyRainbow_123]

Oh this is AMAZING!! Thankyou both 🙏❤️❤️❤️✨

[@ELaurence]

LOVE these ideas! Marriage is such a blessing, but it takes work to keep it fun and rewarding. Thanks, Cas, for sharing!

[@MsAnemoi]

I had to laugh about the "putting the dishes in the dishwasher instead of on top of it" bc my husband does the exact same thing.. and it drives me nuts. I appreachiate your take on it, but I dont think that I could say it sirious to him.. thank you for putting it IN the dishwasher.. that would sound a lot like irony or sarkasm..

[@Jenoveryonder]

I do it all for maintenance, cleaning, laundry, dishes, food, and finances. He won’t even pack a lunch. I’m tired of having big kids.

[@fwebster6226]

This was me but I trained myself to stop doing one thing at a time. It started with putting the empty loo roll in the trash. Miraculously it managed to find its own way there 😂

[@shionajoseph3248]

He’d be hungry at lunch time if he was my husband lol. I’d stop packing the lunch first then move on to other areas

[@dragonfliesfordonna2112]

Are you his wife or mother? I would start with that question, followed quickly with "cause I want to be a wife who shares on responsibilities." Communication is what keeps a marriage going and you need to communicate effectively as to your hopes and dreams...BUT not using "you do -----" instead start with "I do this for you and it makes me feel....". Before the conversation both might have to agree to not bring it up in a negative way, but instead to state what they want in a safe zone conversation...each time someone is done, the other person can say "I heard you say....such n such...and I feel ...." this way it's a blame free, but moving forward environment.

[@dragonfliesfordonna2112]

One more thing....of you do it all, IS IT POSSIBLE that hubby doesn't know how to do it OR feels that he would not do something to your satisfaction OR that he might feel that he would make you feel like he was stepping into your declared tasks?? Again, communication is the key.

[@brendacaley9333]

​@fwebster6226 I did this. Gradually stopped all the things but had to keep doing all the other things. I started with not doing his laundry. Then his lunch. His meals. His dishes. He stumbles through doing these things at the last minute for himself, while leaving a mess behind ( dirty dishes in sink daily when I want to use kitchen) He still does no more than bare minimum and only for himself. I think the game is brilliant and could work for some but probably too late for us. 😔

[@deshanclan4006]

Cas, I just want to thank you for your kind and real support.

[@deshanclan4006]

I feel accomplished just by listening to this but I was able to plant some mental seeds in others minds, feed my son AND myself, give him his bottle, change his diaper and now he is asleep in my arms. 😊 I really wanted to carve out some time to read and now I can. With your help, not realizing that we’ve been on the same path the last few years of listening to your videos and advice and really drinking in your words of wisdom, especially this last year, my postpartum journey, I feel seen, heard and loved. Which is huge for me. Long story short, thank you! 🎉 🥂 Hope you have beautiful, fun and quiet Christmas moments with you and yours. ❤

[@lmagas-om9dp]

You're so real, Cass! Really helpful.

[@poppyseed389]

Just a suggestion regarding the laundry issue... Have your kids take charge of their own laundry. You do yours only. Joe does his. Assign a day for each load (Monday=mom, Tuesday=kid1, Weds=kid2, and so on. Have weekend be for sheets and towels).

[@ELaurence]

THIS! It helped me SOOOOOO much with my oldest, and I am teaching my littles also. The biggest thing I learned the hard way......if they are doing it, don't be picky on details......how they fold or choose to put away. If their room is neat and they can find their clothes.....I back off and let them take charge of it. My "perfect" way is less important than them taking care of their own stuff.

[@ReneeDennis-x8h]

My kids were in charge of their own laundry by age 12, seriously!

[@JamieAndrick]

Maybe before everyone sits down to dinner.. open that dishwasher door! HINT HINT.. nah, that probably wouldn't work either! They might shut the door and put their dirty dishes on the counter where the dishwasher is! 🤣 I can't complain, my husband loads the dishwasher more than I do at night. He does it for me, so I have an easier morning the next day. He also vacuums and mops the house, puts his laundry away, cleans the windows and tracks.. and he does all of this because he care's and because I was having lower back pain.. He helps a lot around our home plus he works outside in the elements 65 hrs a week.. plus works on finishing our house on the weekends.. just writing all that out has helped me calm down about all the stuff I want to get done today.. 🙃

[@sarahdingeldein6129]

You were close on the dog training...it was Pavlov. A lot of great tips here!

[@K.O.108]

Oh my perfect timing for me I woke up to a disaster this morning my husband had to make a cheesecake for work and he left the mess... there is crumbs and powder sugar, and packaging for ingredients, the appliances (dirty) and dishes both clean and dirty everywhere.

[@Whatworksthisworks]

You look Amazing in cream! Merry Christmas!🎄🎁 😊

[@alicemoore6623]

When my daughter was 11, I noticed that she would try on outfits and instead of hanging them back up in the closet, she just threw them in the hamper!! I couldn’t believe I had been washing clean clothes!!!!! As a single mom, I didn’t have time for that nonsense. That’s the day I taught her (and my 13 year old son) how to use the washer and dryer. I used Sharpie to draw lines where the dials should go and on the detergent scoop. Problem solved. Cass--have you thought about having your kids do their own laundry??

[@troubleshooter166]

At min 16:21, am excited and hopeful. Hope this game will help. But skeptical with a well ingrained passive aggressive spouse. Thanks for bringing this to us

[@LetThem_626]

The problem in my marriage of 28 years is my husband will not have a conversation. Doesn’t talk about anything.

[@Whatworksthisworks]

Easy way out for him… I have always said quite people are hiding secrets 🙁

[@SoliRhymesWithJulie]

I'm gonna bring up your podcast with Dr. Regina Lark again. Maybe a topic for the podcast next year is the wages for housework movement.

[@Kirkble-d2c]

Cas, when do we get the game called YBcluttered?

[@katebaker8763]

Hahah what spouselesss here!!!!!! lol I do it all all by myself lol😢😂

[@darlahkelley9800]

❤🎉Good Morning 🙏 😅 Girlfriend's ❤

[@JennyT101]

I did not try to be a perfect housewife and do all the work for our house and my husband still doesn't help. Lol

[@dianeplacht8201]

I have liked you in the past but seems you have been publishing way longer videos. They are too long. The substance of the idea can be done in half the time. I do not have time to listen to you anymore

[@KaylieBraskett]

This is her podcast which are all videos of her talking she has separate videos under videos on her KZbin page that are shorter and she doesn't talk like this because those are not podcasts

[@MsJ0an]

Usually, I listen when driving or at work during a mundane task that's going to take an hour. This video is 40ish minutes. I also clean or wash dishes while listening. It's your decision to use your time wisely and I can respect your time constraints, especially when feeling overwhelmed during this time of year. All the best.

[@kibbytapmama]

This is for her podcast so it's longer due to that. She does have shorter videos as well but aren't on the podcast.

[@girlonaswing9439]

I love her podcast

[@gina2578]

It's funny you took the time to tell her you don't have time to listen 😂. BTW, for your future KZbin enjoyment, you can listen to vids at a faster speed 🤯. Just tap the settings wheel to adjust speed when you have time.