Co Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex Partner

In this video Darren Magee gives some ideas how to co parent with a toxic narcissistic ex partner. Looking at sticking to agreements, how to communicate, preparing and managing vindictive and character assassinating behaviours. Looking also at doing what is best for the kids, managing boundaries and keeping your integrity.
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#narcissisticex #coparentingwithanarcissist #toxicex

[@DarrenFMagee]

The videos I make are topics suggested by you the viewer. Feel free to suggest any mental health or psychology subjects you'd like me to cover in future videos. Just a reminder though, these videos are not a substitute for support from a mental health professional.

[@Ivan-bf2jx]

Hi Dr.Magee, I'd like to know your opinion on co-parenting with a covert narcissist. When a child is exposed to the same environment where the narc parent came from, what can the other parent do?

[@FodorPupil]

How to spot a narcissistic ex in one easy step: Any parent who unnecessarily files for sole custody at the beginning of a divorce.

[@harremsis]

In my experience, there is no co-parenting with a narcissistic person. At best, it's parallel parenting. Managing your expectations in this kind of situation is helpful.

[@tauresattauresa7137]

There is no best for the children with a partner who is narcissistic, they only ever act to hurt the non narcissistic partner, the best for the children does not come into it at all.

[@drfoye219]

Trying to co parent with a narcissist is a nightmare! Good advice thank you

[@EK-sz5no]

It sure is

[@Peanuts76]

It never works, well, my experience not exactly a partner, more like family

[@barneyw9529]

This isn't a substitute for help from a mental help professional but when the therapists don't tell you what's going on, they listen but they don't openly tell you your partner is abusive with high covert narcissistic traits because they don't like "labelling" other people. They will happily keep you in the dark as to what is going on so they can keep this so called principle. These videos have helped me fundamentally understand and heal more. Thank you

[@Because_Reasons]

GOD this is so real :((( 4 years of dealing with a narcissistic ex partner, who uses anything she can against me, throws fits when she doesn't get her way or is inconvenienced, is NEVER EVER wrong.

[@camellia8625]

A narcissist intentionally counter parents - they cannot co parent. I completely agree with Darren MaGee’s wise advice to communicate everything as succinctly as possible in writing to avoid induced conversations.

[@m-mcwrath]

Unfortunately emotional abuse isn't something that a doctor or a police officer can quickly quantify. It's sickening to think of children who are in these situations who are manipulated and used as pawns just to exact revenge. 😔

[@cherylbarette5990]

Yes happened to me. He was always the victim and turned everyone against me even my children.

[@m-mcwrath]

@@cherylbarette5990 liked to unlike. 😔

[@Idiopathogen]

There’s no “best for the children” in divorce. That ship has sailed.

[@Portia620]

Agreed and after Narc divorce things get worse with drama and bs!

[@Ivan-bf2jx]

I try to create a safe harbour for my son, where he is free of the parhology his narcs mother unloads on him. It's not an easy nor a natural thing to do. I keep learning. A life well lived is the best defence agaist my narc exwife. It is the best example I can set for my son. Thank you Dr. Magee❤️

[@Ivan-bf2jx]

Even the "one word answers" or gray rocking will be used against me. My toxic ex-partner will accuse me and use it as a proof of my non-cooperation. This is a no win situation.

[@angb1484]

Look up yellow rock,

[@mikeharrison5087]

God bless you this is exactly what is happening

[@ChristianeJulie]

I wish I had seen this video some 20 years ago when we separated. Really to the point. But today, as our children are young adults, I am starting to be afraid that, despite all my best efforts to be a loving and reliable parent, they have become covert narcissists. And it is heartbreaking.

[@Idiopathogen]

There’s nothing left for her to take or destroy, so I just pretty much say whatever I want.

[@secreteobsession3584]

I wish I could run away I feel sick every time I see him it's not fair feeling this way when I had so much respect for this person who ended up with no empathy and no compassion of how there person feels, gaslights u when having a discussion plus invasive when with his words to family and friends

[@jonathansmith1801]

It's impossible and so draining!! 😭

[@Peanuts76]

Guess you better leave man, as much as you love them, the mental and effort you made to make relationship going and well, probably it never works, i had this experience with my own family, my dad and my uncle both had Narcissist wife, they got stressed and both of them goin into escapism at times.....

[@nunoantonio4268]

Jesus !! The most "on point", succinct portrait of Co Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex Partner

[@HEALTHEDIVISION]

Darren, you are an absolute gem. You've helped so many and I am deeply appreciative!

[@BullishBananaTrader]

It's impossible to co-parent with a narcissist. Unfortunately, you have to move to parallel parenting.

[@truthteller1973]

So glad we were past this stage, and he is relentless It is has been seven years. I have been through it they will try and kill you!!! You would be surprise who might help them. Get police involved if needed be safe. They are very very dangerous temper tantrum dangerous..Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

[@amorfati8084]

Solid advice. If you give them an inch they will take a mile. Don't

[@psychicconsultant453]

Thank you for this

[@DarrenFMagee]

You’re welcome thanks for watching

[@oravandroogenbroeck3234]

Thank you. Your videos give practical down to earth help.

[@katieowen4676]

What a compassionate and beautiful talk. This helped me SO much. Thanks!

[@Tillyann1]

Thank you, I am so pleased to have found your channel , It provides the most easy to understand explanations and, helpful tips for those of us having to co-parent with a narcissist. Your evaluations are so correct , two days after our Court Order was agreed and sealed with the Court, the other side wanted to change the Christmas arrangement , fast forward two years now the entire contact rota!! Sometimes things are unforeseen and so a degree of flexibility works best for the child, otherwise make them stick to the terms of the Court agreement, it should not be changed on a whim , a child needs consistency for stability .

[@sarahvandistel9830]

Your videos are a revelation. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻

[@gaynorankamah7381]

Very insightful. Thank you.

[@andrejamarolt961]

Every word resonates with my parenting experiences with my ex. Thank you, beautifully said and extremely helpful and useful.

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

Thank you for brilliant advice Darren. God bless you ❤

[@imeldalajoie3292]

I refused to be controle so he lowered child support. In revenge

[@hankhill3417]

Ask a narcissist; what is something about you that needs improvement?

[@gtukiole]

Much appreciated. Thank you 🙏

[@heathermixson1265]

Thank you.

[@joannelewis3390]

Thank you ❤️

[@monicafernandez6047]

This is great

[@wavey777]

Thank you that was very helpful

[@DarrenFMagee]

Thank you 🙏

[@Shell2024x]

Excellent video. Thank you. So helpful. My daughter now lives with the narcissistic parent. Showers with gifts and freedom as you quite rightly said. Then when he can't keep it up, she comes to me and then he "weeps" as you again said! And then she goes back. Courts, social care, none are interested because its her wishes and feelings despite talk of parental alienation. .y question is how do I parent my daughter and show her a reliable parent when I rarely see her? Will the short time I do see her make any difference? I'm praying she doesn't become a narc xx

[@DarrenFMagee]

I’ve made videos on parental alienation and on co parenting if you maybe find those helpful?

[@Shell2024x]

@@DarrenFMagee hi, thank you for the reply. Yes I've just watched those videos. Very helpful. I watched the parental alienation one and the co parenting one. Definitely gained more insight. Thank you

[@sammiemarie4158]

17 years dealing with this. Thought when child turned 18 it would be over, certain the time spent with us made some impact counteracting the narcissistic parent. Nope, we have been cut out. Coincidentally, just in the knick of time for support payments to end. Feeling like we have lost any future relationship. Not the first time going thru this in the last 17 years, but at one point the child seemed to be having an ahhha moment with psychologist. Narcissistic parent requested to participate by psychologist , went to 1 session, had excuses for not going to anymore, why, because the “finger” started getting pointed in direction of narcissist (not literally, but the writing was in the wall). Narcissist pulled child from that counselor.

[@feanorian21maglor38]

Going through this with my severely depressed step-son and his nightmare of a mother. He's becoming a narc too. I could see her control from when he was a little boy. Despite the fact it was she who run off with another bloke and broke up the relationship, she's always made sure she controlled both my step-son and my husband as far as she could, alienating him from our family, and his step and half-siblings. My husband is having a bad time. It's all so unnecessary.

[@irocwellOO3]

No such thing

[@dylanstevens1301]

thank you

[@carrolynschollianostuni1173]

I hope this will help my daughter.

[@ifsixwasnine1000]

Parenting with a narcissistic ex-wife is like running through hot marshmallows while pulling a locomotive thats going in reverse...

[@hankhill3417]

The average person doesn’t understand this!!!!!

[@lynndenver7588]

Has anyone struggled with the Court system on this ?

[@m-mcwrath]

A psychosocial assessment will be the only evidence that _maybe_ will be written in your favour that _maybe_ will persuade a judge.

[@WyomingASMR]

Do you have advice for protecting children while still with a covert narc?

[@findelka1810]

Try to stay sane and stable for the kids. Good example is never lost on them. Try to outsource them to other healthy adults (grandparents, good babysitters) so they can see what normal people are like and they spend less time with the toxic parent. I pray you find a way.

[@pravdagodschild6307]

My partner is having a difficulty even having access to his 17 year old son. The boy lives with his mother who is constantly portraying his father in a negative light, he is not allowed to bring friends home, seems like he hasn't got any friends, he lives very sheltered life completely dominated by his mother. When my partner tries to see his son, his ex wife just wouldn't open the door and would say "he doesn't want to see you". Is there anything that can be done in this situation?

[@tauresattauresa7137]

He will be 18 soon.

[@adambeledogu497]

He can seek legal help to enforce child custody decree. Good luck.

[@sammiemarie4158]

@@tauresattauresa7137 my step child recently turned 18 and graduated. Knowing child support ends, the narc parent had to take drastic measures. Convinced the child the other parent, my spouse, was root of child’s “trauma”. Child bought it and has cut ties except for occasional phone calls/text msgs. Watched many of Darren’s videos today and so many of the narcissistic traits fit this parent. Child is under the spell of narcissistic parent. Turning 18 means nothing, only made it worse. Seems since there would be no more $$ flowing to narcissistic parent, that parent felt there was no need for child to see the other parent.

[@semolinasemolina8327]

- also are you sure that she is the problem? There's noone that has the dead beat parent's back more than their new partner - ---- also intuitively, does the son or other parent have autism?

[@shinrin-yoku3877]

Ex: "I know since you're the ex your job is to make my life hell" Me: *whatttttt????????*

[@PenninkJacob]

❤❤❤

[@eponymoususer8923]

Please, please address this further in more detail. In the days of Tinder hookups, people are now coparenting with strangers. Some of these strangers have heavy narcissistic/borderline traits. What suggestions do you have for coparents who were never in a relationship with their narcissistic coparents?

[@findelka1810]

I would not introduce my children to ‘hookups’ or any relationship who did not prove yet they are worthy of it. That’s the very last step of integrating someone new in your life.

[@DingusTheGenius]

Contraception.

[@mstarz]

yea i cant show my kids im there fore them as mom blocks all contact

[@emilytaylor1001]

♥️

[@LARGERTHANLIFE21]

Oh so you met her before😂

[@luismiguelmonteiro4545]

♥️