7 Things Women Want in a Man!

[@ssiegreen5292]

Carey - I am so glad you included personal safety for women in addition to relationship safety. Especially now that I am getting older, and slower - my reaction time is down too [which is a good thing in some regards, but not so much when it comes to personal safety]. Women of all ages - get harassed, SA'd, robbed, date raped [yup even 60 and up!], etc etc. So for a man to run a bit of "security detail" is a wonderful bonus and can be absolutely endearing and charming!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

may be time for a self defense class?

[@Wookinpanub235]

Its also up to the woman to carry forms of lethal or less lethal protection on jer person when alone or with the girls or kids. All my girls carry pepper spray and some of them lethal bang bangs. If you carry a pistol in your purse you might as well not even have it if someone gets the drop on you. Appendix carry options have come a long way and they make stuff thats so concealable with numerous wardrobes. Many women are content with being vulnerable and untrained in self protection but you cant carry a man with you everywhere you go.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Statistics shown that this worry is almost entirely in women's minds. Men represent well over 90% of all victims of violence. If you include offenses in the prison system, even the majority of the forms of violence discussed on the mariska hargitay tv show, in spite of the way its presented there and other popular culture.

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@StuJones-gn7te You can't possibly compare prison violence with dating violence. These two are not even remotely on the same bottom line. IMO even comparing domestic violence [whether M2F or F2M] cannot be compared to dating or random violence towards women.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Studies show that, in the vast majority of cases and in one sided DV, the women initiate it. DV rates are highest among lesbian couples and lowest in gay male couples. Furthermore, men are the victims of over 90% of all violence. Murder, armed robbery, assault. No one knows the exact numbers for sexual assault on men because men report such incidents much less often than women do, regardless of the gender of the perpetrators. Indeed, the law has only recently begun to even to admit that men CAN be victimized by women. Coupled with all of this, we NOW also know (thank you metoo) that all any woman has to do is say I harassed her and I'll be jailed. I might end up in prison. Its impossible to prove I didn't harass anyone, because by definition, harassment is anything I say or do that a woman doesn't like. Either at the time or anytime in the future. I could be arrested tomorrow for talking to women in the 1980s. Given all of this, plus the extremely insane fear of things that almost never happen, why would I bother to try? The guys who do must have more guts than brains, as we used to say in the Army.

[@TonganJedi]

Just remember, gents. If she's not attracted to you, none of these other traits matter. Attraction has to happen first. If not, move on.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

You are not going to know if she’s attracted to you on a first date. You failed to mention that.👍

[@r.brooks5287]

Attraction can grow and of course decline. I've never felt instant attraction to any man. For me at the start it's more like potential for attraction.

[@rsmith9047]

1. Safety (physically and emotionally) 2. Confidence (can take charge when needed) 3. Success at something he gives time to 4. Trustworthy 5. Strength of character 6. Self Sufficiency 7. Good Guy

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Bluepilled manipulations and gaslighting. The actual list would be 6"4+ feet height. Full thick hair. Sharp jaw. Good facial proportions. Broad shoulders. Veiny muscled arms. V tape shaped torso. Good ass. Big donk. Big wallet. Dark triad traits.. and lots of other options. That's the REAL FEMALE DESIRES list

[@CoffeewithCarey]

what a crock. so sad if you believe that. 😏

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@CoffeewithCarey so sad if you don't admit it basically. Because there is no hiding in the era of the internet

[@ssiegreen5292]

Where do I sign up???

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@ssiegreen5292 notice what women do, not what they claim. In real life they got the "asshole magnet" (aka selector)

[@Jeronique]

Love the vibrant way you meshed this all together

[@CoffeewithCarey]

thank you!

[@kamihennning4180]

Ms. Carey you have such a genuine warmth and honesty, I'm a 25 year old woman and would absolutely pay to have your matchmaking services. Also, how did you become a matchmaker? Such an intriguing career option ☺️

[@CoffeewithCarey]

thanks so much for your kind words. 🤎

[@melindaferreira9879]

Consistency and decisiveness .

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[@Coxtoasten12]

I would take charge when needed, but I have never been a body guard or a therapist. I've had women on dates that tell me how terrible her parents were. I guess I should thank them for throwing all their Red Flags at me very early on in dating.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Not always a red flag. Maybe she’s been through therapy? Most people when they talk about these things aren’t looking for you to be a therapist. Just a good listener.

[@TheBaba1920]

Very good information

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Thanks

[@tomdebevoise]

I agree with all of this, especially safety. Suggested number 8 (especially for the 50+ crowd): Synergy in the relationship. Can you create or do things as a pair that otherwise she could not. You could travel somewhere as a couple. Can you help her write that book? Can you bring some challenge to the relationship that will move you both out of your comfort zones?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

interesting suggestion,tom. traveling with a partner can be very enjoyable, being a support system and cheerleader to your partner and their goals is also important… 👍

[@ssiegreen5292]

Tom - instead of >>> Can you help her write that book?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@ssiegreen5292 love this!

[@tomdebevoise]

@ssiegreen5292 I have written 4 books and I would say "help" depends on your experience and your network. So it can be a little more complicated than this. Ester Perel talks about this, it is challenging each other.

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@tomdebevoise That's true too! Some authors can sit in a busy coffee shop and write aka J.K. Rowling, others need a Thoreau's Walden solitude. Most fall somewhere in the middle. The sweet-spot though - is as individual as each person. YOU cannot help, encourage or pressure a person to be CREATIVE. I daresay - you cannot motivate them either, without manipulation. All you can or should do - is to create a safe "container" for them to do so themselves. If they themselves are not motivated or wanting to do {whatever - fill in the blank} - whatever comes out at the output end - will be less than stellar, or it is "ghost written" [like when parents help their kids doing their homework and end up doing the major part of it]. Now I was referring specifically to creative endeavors above. This does not necessarily apply towards other things. I love listening to Ester Perel - and I am all aboard about her erotic intelligence and relationship interactions and insights. Challenging or encouraging each other in doing better or something new that you haven't dared or had the guts to do is great. This is how we grow. But you cannot make someone do something they are not wanting to or aren't ready for, without forcing them. And when you force or pressure them - whether actually physically or mentally/emotionally - you break trust.

[@lhmccool67]

I definitely agree with these! ❤

[@CoffeewithCarey]

thanks for the confirmation!

[@athletikonaol]

I think a lot of women are hoping for a replay of the passion that young men have. And, can't speak for all men, but the fire diminishes every decade. And so if he isn't passionate toward her, she's worried he isn't interested/attracted, and frankly, the loss of that intense sexual interest means he's less interested in every woman. Not just her. There needs to be new reasons to build something on, and it's a detriment to all people that there isn't as much glue to hold them together until they learn to truly love each other. People are meant to pair up when they're young. Everything about it works better. But I like your list.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Well that’s an interesting opinion. 😊 …And I truly appreciate you not trying to speak for all men or women. 🤎

[@ssiegreen5292]

I don't know about that [replay of the passion that young men have]. I think young men's passion and love making is a wee bit overrated - and often fleeting. At this age 60+ - I'm looking for more of a slow burn, more persistence, more innovation, more determination, and more staying power - as in stick-to-itism not longer love making sessions, LOL.

[@hump1953]

That’s what we have viagra and cialis for….

[@Wookinpanub235]

Ive seen alot of women lose interest and drive after menopause. I pretty sure this is a thing with women that go through hormonal changes. I truly feel for Women and all the crap they have to put up with dealing with the complexities of their bodies especially while they age. I haven’t lost any of my drive in my early 50’s and Im hoping I never do. I know women think its their duty to please their man and Im sure they especially feel that way when they have a compassionate and understanding man that can go without if shes not feeling good. I imagine the ladies that totally shut off their man has alot to do with his attitude, appearance and the way he treats her. I think sometimes men get complacent when they have a good wife that works hard in their marriage while the Husband sots around watching tv all day long and grows a beer belly the size of a beer cooler. Ive seen this in my family and when asked for advice I let em have it. Was like dont complain your old lady wont give you none when you’re a fat, lazy slob with no qualities to be attracted to. If you wanna save your marriage throw away the tv remote, start eating healthy, stop drinkng beer and become very active and clean yourself up.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

I suspect that a significant driver of the reduction of interest as men age is in the way women tend to "let themselves go" over time. Too much hassle to eat right, exercise, etc. Which also tends to push men toward younger women, when those women are open to it.

[@alexanderlapp5048]

What do I want for dinner? Meat, potatoes, vegetables, and bread with a glass of milk is always good. I am quite handy at buying groceries and cooking too.

[@ssiegreen5292]

Hahahah! You had me @ meat + potatoes!!!

[@alexanderlapp5048]

@@ssiegreen5292 😀 Thank you

[@susanwhitney8681]

i agree everythings u said maam. peace relationship is good foundation❤❤❤

[@CoffeewithCarey]

you two are so old school! 🤎 in fact, I think that describes most of my school lunches! 👍

[@whlawson5812]

How about doing a video from the other of the coin?. Are you able to to it?. Any fine iron smith will have to strike, while the iron is hot, on both sides to make a fine sword. Not just hammering on one side.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Am I able? I’ve made numerous episodes on the flip side.

[@charlesnye1736]

I have all 7 and can´t buy a date.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

well then the problem is something is or is not happening PRIOR to getting to know each other better.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Because those are politically correct bluepilled manipulations women claim to not appear shallow and lose social face. The real list is much darker and more shallow than that. Don't listen to their claims, actually observe their dating patterns

[@charlesnye1736]

@@CoffeewithCarey I guess it would help if I went out more and met more people.

[@ssiegreen5292]

Maybe a the problem is that you want to "buy a date"??? You don't buy a date, honey! You invite, seduce, flirt, entice or even cajole someone into a date, but buying??? Not so much! How does that saying go? You get what you pay for!

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@ssiegreen5292 not worth the squeeze

[@robertvarner9519]

Good advice if I were forty years younger. 👍👍☕☕

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I don’t think age has anything to do with it. just lack of interest. 🤎

[@stevet6676]

As a mature guy, I am truly amazed how these basic qualities are common to women of all ages. Men should really pay attention. Men shouldn't listen to cynical ideas floating around the internet about "what women want" and focus on what real women are actually saying.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

so very true! Sad for these men who would rather believe the negative lies being fed to them. if only they would get out there and form their own opinions based on personal experiences. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@StuJones-gn7te]

And if women of ages want the same things, there is no logical reason to to for an older woman.

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

Women say they want a nice guy, a kind guy, a man who treats others well. But look at what kinds of men they actually have sex with. It’s none of those things. It’s men who are confident and hot. Women lie to themselves and everyone else about what they really want

[@HateDietPepsi]

I get most of my traits from the unsubs on "Criminal Minds" so I don't qualify for any relationship.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

is that show still on? I always thought the show would be more interesting if they focused more on the psychology.

[@HateDietPepsi]

@@CoffeewithCarey Mostly reruns I haven't seen. It is a binge watch a few episodes every so often for me.

[@hump1953]

I really liked this video, now I know why I’m 71 years old and single and never married…..

[@CoffeewithCarey]

wowza! really?

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Too many hoops?

[@rameshgavade7873]

Hii

[@rameshgavade7873]

Namaste 🙏🔥💯💓😍

[@mcrick8931]

Two things my common law partner did that i liked was she almost toke a round out of someone coming on to me and an argument only lasted 1 day.....after 25yrs. She recently died

[@CoffeewithCarey]

So you liked that she was jealous and going to go after somebody who she thought was flirting with you? I’m so confused.

[@mcrick8931]

@@CoffeewithCarey she would have taken a bullet for me, guess thats why your confused

[@oldnatty61]

They intellectually want these things, but they always go for the bad boy.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/qGSbl2mHZtVsba8

[@bernibeckmann9753]

Oh man that hurt to hear. Of those 7 things I might be a little light on a couple. Is there a work around? I'd hate for the lady to not to get what she deserves. And more of course.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

A workaround? Have you given up on personal growth so soon?

[@bernibeckmann9753]

@@CoffeewithCarey This response is not unexpected. I admitted to being a little light in a couple areas and rather than contemplating the idea of compromise in view of the fact that nobody is perfect, certainly not women and by a longshot, you retort giving up on personal growth? You guys are all just delusional theory with your wants and desires. Good men are staying away in droves for a reason.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

I don't think she caught the sarcasm.

[@Semper_Fish]

A good woman should have these traits; hunt, fish, cook, clean, build, and have her own gear and boat (must show picture of boat).

[@CoffeewithCarey]

good luck to ya! 👍

[@keylanoslokj1806]

She means the alpha amazon huntress woman you look for doesn't exist and you will end up alone. Most are too fragile and without real life skills and want men to provide everything

[@kelliejaquez7347]

😂

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Drizzle drizzle

[@brittanykeen2289]

🤣

[@johnballard6725]

Women don't know what they want, they don't want what they say they want and when they've got what they say they want they don't want it ? So guys take what your lady says she wants with a pinch of salt, listen to her, be respectful but don't deviate from your life plan with her without good reason.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

You’re gonna have to stop generalizing about women here in my comment section or I’m going to have to block you, John. Just a heads up. It’s getting a little ridiculous. people have been blocked for one negative generalization based purely on their own personal experience. I’ve been cutting you slack but I’m just letting you know. Your experiences are not everyone’s. And you can’t keep talking about women as if you know all of them, especially to Matchmaker and dating coach For a dozen years who has literally spoken 2000s of people on these very subjects every day, for years on end. It’s not cool

[@kennethschauer1801]

Nope I'm not rich

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I don’t think this has anything to do with money

[@MMos-dy1fp]

Ya, at the end as the video told us they, in their 30+s, are looking for the nice guy beta provider, after they had their 304 stage in their 20s.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Not what I said.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Not directly what she said, but we can infer that meaning from on she said. One of the guys I watch calls it "stayed too long at the casino." Ie. When she was hot, she should have cashed out. Stay too long and you have nothing anyone wants. Personally, the only reason I would marry again would be to have more kids. And since don't really have a biological clock, even if the occasional fmnist says we do (maybe a social thing but not biological), I have until the day I die to father kids.

[@Wookinpanub235]

@@StuJones-gn7te Not always true. Mens sperm has a certain virility factor when it comes to age but many will argue that it doesn’t.

[@georgesontag2192]

Nothing wrong with women wanting these things. The problem is they want these things in one man. That man better not slip on one of these traits for the rest of his life. If he slips on one, she runs to divorce court and destroys him financially. She does it with no conscience.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Sorry for your hurt, George. 😞

[@StuJones-gn7te]

There's an old joke along the lines of a woman wants a man who is a good provider, who is handy with tools, helps a round the house and is a passionate lover. The trick is making sure those 4 guys never meet.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@StuJones-gn7te yes! 🤣

[@libertycaps97211]

I’m 55 and don’t care anymore. Women don’t share their treasure, why should I? MGTOW.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Another fella finding sad men on the internet, more intriguing than women in the real world. 🥺

[@libertycaps97211]

Assume whatever homophobic nonsense you want. Not codependent. I’m free.

[@libertycaps97211]

Struck a nerve? Clown world and your channel blocked.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@ Homophobic? Lol Afraid not!

[@twofarg0ne763]

I have a house in the US, a house in Europe, nice cars, and plenty of money for you gold-diggers out there... I've been divorced 4 times because all women care about is trying change me, ordering me around, and trying to figure out how to get my money. I'm so done with narcissistic modern women. Now, I just have a sweet girl friend who was not born or raised in the US and we're very happy together. Why you ask, she doesn't care about money.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Based. But thrice a fool is a bit too much

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Divorced FOUR times? Wowza! Why did you keep choosing the same wrong type four times in a row?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

why would you share this list of your assets at the beginning of this post/comment? you may want to think about this and examine why you would do that. You may find the answer to how you created this lack of connection in your relationships. 👍

[@twofarg0ne763]

@@CoffeewithCareybecause 95% of women I met are gold-diggers.

[@twofarg0ne763]

@@CoffeewithCarey I really didn't choose the same type. One was my high school sweetheart - she divorced me when I was in Vietnam. Second was my college girl-friend who divorced me after she got a job in NYC and I didn't want to move from CA to NYC. Third was the mother of my children. After 17 years she waltz's in one day and says she doesn't want me or the kids or the house. She only wants $250K so she can go live with her new biker boyfriend. Last one was a former neighbor who, a couple of years after we got married let her grown children move into my house. After six months of them doing nothing. I threw them all out including her.

[@haydenwittig8877]

Women want 2 things in a man in 2024 NO 1 shes better looking than him no threat from other women AAH Yeh big time NO 2 he must have money this means security he will take care of me sorry the truth hurts.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Aww, Im sorry. 🥺

[@egx161]

Women want a man that has money. That’s the “safety “. #1

[@CoffeewithCarey]

thousands of clients and that has never been my experience. sorry, but if it has been yours, perhaps you need a new dating pool. 😞

[@ssiegreen5292]

Oh brother!

[@madwax1360]

These men don't exist anymore....you're all stuck with the beta's

[@CoffeewithCarey]

sorry, we don’t speak Internet suggested dating language here. We have no idea what you’re talking about. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@vegaschadly]

Lol