7 Qualities Women Won’t Admit They Want in a MAN?!

[@susanparker9877]

Very high on my list is a sober, drug-free man. He needs also to be sane. All the other things could be present, but if these are missing, the relationship is doomed.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Sounds like a fair ask. 🤎

[@bobmoore6248]

Those are 2 good things. No drama.

[@susanparker9877]

@@bobmoore6248 No drama!

[@sethtenrec]

@@susanparker9877 no drama, yes. However, conflict always happens. I always wonder what someone means when they want drama free, does this mean they have no conflict resolution skills and are hoping for a conflict-free relationship? That doesn’t exist.

[@susanparker9877]

@@sethtenrec It's the continuous drama that's not normal. People do not always agree and that is normal.

[@cyn5962]

Everything about a person can look good on paper but that doesn't gaurantee there will be chemistry with them once you actually meet in person.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

If everybody believed this, there would be no more dating scams. 🤔

[@ssiegreen5292]

Actually Cyn - I think you're correct with that assessment. Looks aren't everything - for sure. It helps - but really - I want a good man [honesty, integrity, honor, open minded, aware/intuitive, willingness to work on a relationship, blah, blah, blah - yeah I do!] - looking good gets bonus points, but if he's a d*ck - what good does it do you, when he looks handsome being one???

[@shanehester5317]

the problem is what a female considers chemistry.

[@BarbaraMcLain]

I have personally noticed that in general women want three types of men. 1 RICH 2 the "fixer upper" ex. Drunks or drug addiction that the woman can say "my love changed him" or "saved him" 3 a- holes that women can "change" into "good guys" BUT ONLY when they want him to be a good guy.

[@wildwill1970]

I bet you make a pretty good Matchmaker. You've covered the topics well and seem to have a balanced hand when it comes to matchmaking.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Thank you! 🙏🤎

[@devilsadvocacy]

Watch what people do when they are out in real life, and they think everyone else’s back is turned. To the extent their words don’t match their actions, go by the actions

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Just watch peoples actions… in general. They will tell you who they are. And make you allow yourself to be surprised in a good way!

[@ellenroberg-askim1779]

Cary, you are so warm and insightful, and I thank you indeed for helping me climbing to a more sustaiable level of approaching my new life as a devorced woman this last year

[@CoffeewithCarey]

That is so kind to share that with me, Ellen! Thank you -and I have confidence you will thrive!

[@ssiegreen5292]

Very comprehensive summary - you pretty much hit it all on the spot!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

🤎🙏

[@alexanderlapp5048]

Comprehensive yes, but I'm more confused now. I think I will just work until dark everyday and forget about dating.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@alexanderlapp5048 more confused? Where did I lose you here? what can I help explain? Just watch the one I linked to in the end and you’ll be fine. And know that every human is going to choose someone they’re attracted to.

[@alexanderlapp5048]

@CoffeewithCarey , What you said is probably all true. Just people are confusing to me. Women even more so than men in most cases. Each one is so different than the last, it is extremely difficult to know how to treat any specific one. The video was full of generalizations and caveats. There was no concrete information. It is probably impossible for you to know how any single person is going to react to any specific actions or circumstances. Thank you so much for trying to help. I just have no idea how to the right thing at the right time, in the right place, with the right person.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@alexanderlapp5048 Here… Stop worrying about it or trying to figure people out and just focus on being your best self. Thats the truth.

[@charlesnbarnett]

I am getting addicted to your blogs, since I am a recent widower in the dating game. I am very comfortable listening to your Chicago accent! Do you have a good friend who needs to date another "Good Guy"?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

welcome to the channel, Charles.

[@Antiqueexcavator]

Congrats on 10K subscribers!!!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Gracias señor! 😘

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@CoffeewithCarey Oh awesome! I missed that - congrats indeed!!! 🤗

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@ssiegreen5292 thank you so much! 🤎

[@robertvarner9519]

Ah Maggie...there's no such thing as a lie just the expedient exaggeration. -Roger Thornhill in "North by Northwest " 👍👍☕☕

[@CoffeewithCarey]

My namesake. they never heard of the name for a girl so decided to add an E to make it feminine. 🤣

[@justinjex1]

The “independent” statement is vague and confusing to many. This needs to be expounded upon, in a lot of detail. Within a healthy marriage there a lot of “interdependence “ between the couple. Definitely walking a razors edge on that. Too independent then you grow apart and loose interest in the marriage. Too dependent then you are… not sure. So I get not being initially completely invested in the other person. Don’t give up your personal interests that you are passionate about at the drop of a hat. But the trade offs need to be given their due. This is where I am seeing men and women leaving the relationship experience to pursue only what they want. After 28 years of marriage, I am still confused about this. If it is that you will initially seem needy then that makes sense. But part of become an exclusive couple it uniting in purpose and actions. Please do a detailed breakdown of transitions in relationships.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

It’s a delicate dance, indeed. Maintaining ones unique individuality and independence, but also wanting to feel connected and have a homebase. But we all need to view each other as separate humans and not take each other for granted. The “couple” should be less a focus than the choice of two individual people choosing each other every day. 🤎

[@zeekbrickett8095]

I have a better reply for your question. Romantic couples have some options about their independence and this only applies to monogamy. Couples in a romantic relationship have the same rights as they did when they were single, there are exceptions to the nuance which is cheaters, liars, and habitually unscrupulous persons. Romantic couples can either work "jointly" towards their goals upon agreement or they could do it separately while simultaneously maintaining or growing their romantic relationship. This agreed upon strategy avoids the conflict of interest of romantically growing apart. Lovers in romantic relationship are "cooperating" with each other not competing or combating each other as assailants. Lovers are depending on each other emotionally, sexually, and psychologically in order to feel loved. In polyamory, each lover is finding a lover that meets or fulfils different romantic desires that one person may not satisfy. However, each lover is aware through honesty that you do not belong to that one person, therefore you can satisfy personal goals without necessarily including them in it.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@zeekbrickett8095 that felt like a math problem to me and my brain turned off. Sorry. I think you said that nothing changes just because you got married. The other person can walk away at any time and leave you might as well grow with them and appreciate them so that doesn’t happen. But I could be totally wrong

[@zeekbrickett8095]

@@CoffeewithCarey Not quite. Let me summarize. Romantic couples have choices regarding their independence within monogamous relationships. Couples retain rights from when they were single, with exceptions for cheaters, liars, and unscrupulous individuals. Couples can work jointly towards goals or separately while maintaining their relationship to avoid growing apart. Lovers cooperate rather than compete, only depending on each other emotionally, sexually, and psychologically. In polyamory, each partner fulfills different romantic desires, with honesty about not belonging exclusively to one person for personal goal achievement.

[@geondy2]

I once dated a woman that was taller, it was great. Unfortunately her family informed me she was psychologically unstable. Supposedly she stabbed her EX out of jealously.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Oh my

[@mikeshay6614]

Yikes! I'm glad you made it out safely.

[@davidgold5961]

Carey - I love this content, but you should know that I am one of the rare people who has a brain condition that is triggered by jerky motions, and things like strobe lights. It can trigger a seizure. May I respectfully suggest that you change your transitions between video cuts to a simple fade in/fade out of 0.5 seconds, which is the standard transition between clips. The way you do it with the jumping up and down like that, I cannot keep watching the video unfortunately. Thanks!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Yeah, let’s get rid of the unnecessary transitions. 👍

[@southernexposure123]

I've been widowed over two years and haven't dated. I have zero intention to date. Mainly it's because I did so much research on relationships these days. Don't try to look me up and don't try to hook me up. 😎

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Wouldn’t dream of it. 🤎

[@zeekbrickett8095]

Whatever someone asks for on a dating list, they better also possess the characteristics as well. I would rather date or marry someone like Ruby from The Hills Have Eyes 2007. By most societies' standards, Ruby is considered "homely". However, she possessed good overall moral character and other virtues. Ruby was the heroine of the movie. Although Ruby is a fictional character, they are or were real women that possess some of her virtues, for example, Ayn Rand a.k.a Alyssa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum, Isabel Patterson, Esther Vilar(author of The Manipulated Man), and Dr.Hannah Sevian(currently alive). Dr. Hannah Sevian lives in Massachusetts. Modern dating of 2024 and beyond is mostly a regression, vanity focused not narcissistic, uncivilized, primitive, superficial, discriminatory(age, race, socioeconomic class, height, etc.) materialistic, and passionless just to name a few. Now that I listed the problems, I do have the solution. An advanced civilized society of the 21 century, ought to be focused on 1.moral character traits, 2. philosophical orientation e.g. religious, atheist, or agnostic, 3. shared values, 4. foreplay, 5. egalitarianism, 6. personality, 7. rationality, and 8. judging actions. This list doesn't imply you should neglect your personal appearance or health, only don't it to the point of vanity, no more no less. Nor am advocating not to have surgical enhancements, but still keep in mind that your vanity isn't the end all be all.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Sadly, real life is nothing at all like the movies or fiction or poetry or…

[@oldnatty61]

It's carnage out there. From my experience women have their list, and they intellectually believe it, but they are evolutionarily always going for the bad boy.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

nah.

[@kaiserpuppydog7174]

What do women want? 1. More. 2. Something else.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

🥸

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

Being so NEGATIVE will NOT help you find the woman that loves you!!! For your own sake, try to STOP DEMONIZING WOMENBand put some effort into being more OPEN MINDED.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@LisaFenton-h7f No, Lisa; the effort has to go into being better. Better versions of themselves instead of the negative whining that we so often see here.

[@marioct130]

I'm 74. I don't need a provider or an activity buddy. I do want a man who will spend half the day in bed at least once a week, talking, having coffee, listening to music, making leisurely love. Regarding height? I think most older men lie inadvertently on their profiles. They list their height when they were 28, not what they are now. Like most older people they have shrunk 2 inches. I would date a man who is the same height as me, but when I meet them, they are short and petite. I don't want to be the bigger person in the relationship!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

A woman who knows what she’s looking for. Good for you! 🤎 Hopefully people are doing some weightlifting to keep from that kind of shrinking these days; but perhaps these older men you mention never knew that was what would prevent it.

[@jocular1910]

Its within the bounds of human reason to expect people who want something to clearly define what they want. Otherwise, its a no winner for anyone and likely to cause animosity.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Sadly, many people of both genders aren’t quite sure.

[@joshuaafcutler7348]

If women won't admit that they want these qualities, then how do you know they feel this way?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

🤔You’re unaware of what I do/my profession/ why I talk to thousands of men and women about dating and relationships- and have for a decade? I would think without this piece of understanding my channel would be completely worthless as just somebody’s opinion.

[@joshuaafcutler7348]

@@CoffeewithCarey The very title of your video is qualities women won't admit they want. You said it, not me.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@joshuaafcutler7348 they won’t say it to YOU! Hahaha. Good call. 👍

[@joshuaafcutler7348]

@@CoffeewithCarey You don't think so? Everything you mentioned is just common sense! 😆😆😆

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@joshuaafcutler7348 so much for you taking a joke. 😏

[@chizkiyahukabas7078]

Why do all women find me undesirable and ugly and repulsive? I'm on the autism spectrum and just want to be loved

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I’m pretty certain that you have not met ALL women -let alone conversed with them all to gauge interest in spending one on one time together. And with that being said, you are convinced that they ALL find you undesirable due to what exactly?

[@testing1-2three]

❤

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Test check 4fives6. 🤎👍

[@ssiegreen5292]

I absolutely adore that sign-in name!

[@abj99861]

What do women want? A question that has plagued mankind for ages….the answer is so simple ….they want “Whatever They Can Get” by any means necessary. If you can’t get them the ‘whatever’ they will #1 make your life a living hell then #2 drop you and find someone who can provide the ‘it’ they want

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Sorry, you’ve been through something that sounds pretty bad.

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

Sadly, you sound very very bitter. Perhaps, doing some therapy could help you HEAL PAST RELATIONSHIP(S)--so, you'd have a chance at love again.

[@joeskeptical4762]

*Women want it all, learning EARLY in their dating career that certain items cannot be revealed too soon OR EVER....* *_AND_* .... *women also learn to feel as if they have "settled" if their wish list is not met completely.*

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I don’t think that’s true.

[@samuelpayne5460]

@@CoffeewithCareyit is

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@samuelpayne5460 and you say this after interviewing how many thousands of women? Hundreds? 🤔

[@samuelpayne5460]

@@CoffeewithCarey I would take the experience of any person in a romantic relationship with a woman over what 1000 women say in interviews.

[@joeskeptical4762]

@@CoffeewithCarey *There might be an exception somewhere, but the large majority women seeking a mate want it all, even if they already understand it isn't likely or even possible.*

[@Terence.1]

You're a Sociologist Psychologist Therapist .

[@CoffeewithCarey]

😆 Nah just a dating coach and matchmaker for many years with some good common sense. ;) 🤎

[@bassw1758]

Women have priced themselves out of the market. Women with that kind of mentality get bought and sold and passed around.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Blah blah blah. Where is the emoji to show the message going over someone’s head? 🙄

[@EBIRCSBUS33]

women want a beta provider but a chad to cheat with and a couple black guys at once for special events

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Beta? Chad? Lol We know what type of content you’ve been consuming. 😆 We don’t use terms like that here. I’m a legitimate matchmaker and dating coach with years of experience and a track record of couples in relationships and married. That’s just clickbait conversation, trying to separate people and depress the heck out of men!

[@ALT-vz3jn]

You sound like you’re an incel sheep. Congratulations, I’m glad I don’t know you.

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

Sounds like you're spending to much time on sites like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson et al. Sounds like you still have hurts from past relatonship(s). Try therapy

[@LauraJdogmom]

@@LisaFenton-h7f No kidding. Incels are always looking for excuses why women won't sleep with them. They never consider that their personalities might be off-putting. Anyway, they dislike women--even the ones they want to f***--and why would any self respecting woman want to be with someone who doesn't like her? (Also, dude is racist AF.)

[@marcom2248]

Ask a thousand women, whats most important in man. They all will tell you at first, that he needs to be tall. I totally get it, the height of a man shows excactly how honest he is, how good in bed he is, what he thinks about his future, how faithfull he is, and of course how much money he makes. The second most important matter is honesty. Really? No, don't you dare and always tell the truth...😂😂😂

[@CoffeewithCarey]

12 years of matchmaking and interviewing thousands of women and I can assure you that is not accurate. Did you even watch the episode? Choosing to believe your response sounds like self sabotage and a good excuse to not bother.

[@dian277]

@@CoffeewithCarey obviously he's just short and rude. lots of men here are bitter and insecure because they have nothing, so they're here commenting to get attention. i don't think you should waste your time replying to them

[@boxelder9147]

Honestly, who cares?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

You. Enough to leave a comment.

[@boxelder9147]

​@@CoffeewithCareyjust watching out for my bros.

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@boxelder9147 Oh boo! Must protect your brothers in arms, because they are too feeble to make up their own minds. Nice!

[@boxelder9147]

​@@ssiegreen5292do you really want to do this?

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@boxelder9147 Nope, not really. Just couldn't help myself reading your reply :) Forgive me, will you? I'll behave...

[@mgtowsoldier8673]

Women lie....its just what they do...how ever could it be just us two.....Eminem...

[@CoffeewithCarey]

And no men are lying to you? 🤔🤦🏻‍♀️

[@mgtowsoldier8673]

@CoffeewithCarey ever heard any one say....she is a woman of honour.....me neither...

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@mgtowsoldier8673 Hahahha. 🙄 Lower the drawbridge, come out of your castle 🏰, cross the moat and maybe you’ll find one! 👸🏻 Oh, and turn off the TV too, Mr. Soldier! 🤺

[@mgtowsoldier8673]

@CoffeewithCarey TV......fought in 2 wars so POS like you can spout BS freely......I would rather you just said thank you for your service and continued on your way

[@robertbraden3889]

@@CoffeewithCarey ....and make sure you are wearing Shining Knight armor 😁

[@michaelsmith7846]

Women dont even know what they want. They are way too complicated.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

If that is true, then the same should be side for men, as they both have strong opinions on the matter. But I think that people do know what they want. That is how I have so many successful matches/couples.

[@Malekfahad420]

Hi Carey, Your content is fantastic! I'd love to assist you in enhancing your videos with premium editing and captivating thumbnails that can attract more viewers. Let's discuss how we can work together to grow your channel.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

No thank you. 🤎

[@apmartin55]

Thank you Carey for your insight and advice. I am a widower of 10 yrs who has decided to move on or forward with my life. I am 2 yrs into retirement life now and miss the connection with someone next to me to share this journey now. I figured it to be wise to get some advice since things have changed since college times of 40 years ago. Wish me luck on this first date. Sincerely A, from Asheville.