The GOP's Purity Test: Loyalty To The Former President, Or Else

[@TheOGClassicMan]

God lord! 1959!? Someone stop him! Is there no one else running in their state!?

[@chezmoi42]

No, not running. There are only Idiots Out Walking Around*. * My husband was from there, and he's the one who told me that's why he and his friends moved to San Francisco, where we met. There was a very large Iowa picnic every year, and most of them were U of I alumni. Education makes a difference.

[@waryaawariiri1812]

He is basically warming Senate seat for this related dude: _Patrick Grassley (born May 26, 1983) is the Iowa State Representative from the 50th District. He has served in the Iowa House of Representatives since January 2007. He is the grandson of U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley._

[@steverogers2603]

It’s hard to change entrenched power.

[@artembentsionov]

@@steverogers2603 reminds me of that movie Distinguished Gentleman where Eddie Murphy runs for Congress since his name is similar to that of a congressman who just died on top of his secretary. Most people just vote for the name without bothering to check if the guy is even alive

[@b.valentine5283]

All 4 of my grandparents were 15 years old at that time. We need term limits

[@karwalker7791]

"guy watching his ex-wife set fire to his model trains" 😜😀🤣🤫

[@robertgraybeard3750]

Kar Walker - L O L indeed, so sad.

[@Joizygyrl926]

Omg the way I laughed at 'back in her daddy's day you didn't backstab you shot them in the face'

[@chezmoi42]

"Only person noticing the zombies breaching the barricades" - damn, that's accurate, and it's exactly why they hate her.

[@ValerieJNorse]

What a great photo, too! I wonder how it happened that she was looking just the direction that all the others weren't?

[@bookfound]

@@ValerieJNorse Must have hear a dog whistle. Of what group heard it, I can not say,

[@LoveLove-zg4jn]

I think Cheney should be protected by, the Supreme Court, under Whistle blower protection law. She can't have a battle of wits, with unarmed Republicans. She should start a new party. The 'Democracy Matters' party. They are all so corrupt, that they become a clique of misogyny. Corruption cannot inherit incorruption. They are all steeped in corruption. Bullies stick together don't they?

[@Shuizid]

*lol* no - they ARE the zombies, that's why they hate her.

[@hizzlemobizzle]

Uh let's not give Liz Cheney too much adulation. She is Dick Cheney's wife and just one of many Republicans who paved the way for he who shall not be named.

[@alonealien1474]

5:56 "Nosferatu's accountant" Dead! 🤣

[@ianw5663]

Like Grassley!

[@noelchaddy2677]

Hi how're you?

[@lilyilyily323]

"guy watching his ex-wife set fire to his model trains" took me OUT

[@Gojiragon]

“If canvassers are sent out at some point in the future, they will not be armed.” Uh… this seems to heavily imply that it WAS the plan to do that. Why were they planed to be armed, exactly?

[@AceDupuy]

Probably to coerce people into saying they voted for Trump

[@jeffbaer5851]

I've spent PLENTY of time in the belly of the beast, AKA southern Arizona (Yuma). I GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE you that this was their plan -- to conduct house-to-house intimidation tactics. That is what Republicans in Arizona believe in now. It's Berlin 1931 all over again.

[@Marijuanifornia]

@@jeffbaer5851 How many Americans would be willing to give up Netflix to fight against Fascism? None, which is why Fascism is still growing.

[@ValerieJNorse]

@@jeffbaer5851 -- Arizona may have particular issues, but the Trump cult all over the country is fascistic. It is terrifying that so many people are with them.

[@olgacharalambous2810]

To scare ppl into voting for agent orange next election.

[@oldsledpurgatory3595]

The horse tried to claim he failed the test because of a poppy seed bagel he ate that morning.

[@scottrowe533]

[After flailing away with the martial arts weapon]: "Even the foam ones hurt a little bit." 😂

[@Hellwyck]

They're called Nunchaku.

[@scottrowe533]

@@Hellwyck Yes, I know that and apparently you know that, but not everyone is so erudite. So I elected to use the generic description of the weapon in my comment for the benefit of the less informed.

[@phriedokra6158]

@@scottrowe533 I'm sure the base is writing that down...lol

[@arenc5619]

You know things are REAL BAD when a Cheney is the only sane person in the room. At least I’ve got the popcorn ready as I watch the GOP implode. Dreams do come true!

[@auralfury]

hahaha i ran out of popcorn

[@tubruton]

I used to say "it can't get any worse" - but I don't say that anymore.

[@mostmelon]

I’d be worried honestly. It seems like they’re trimming out the fat to make a thicker concentration of insanity. 1000000 people that are 20% crazy are much less worrisome than 5000 people that are 100% crazy.

[@michaelj.beglinjr.2804]

We voters have to stay engaged if we want to keep the GOP down, though. No matter how bad they fight among themselves, they will put it all behind them when election day rolls around. If we don't stick together and vote in every single election, the GOP will be back in power due to voter apathy.

[@pascal3555]

@@mostmelon beef

[@2keyblades]

“Sir Eats-A-lot” not the best nickname for 45. Here’s my suggestion: “Tangerine Tojo”, “Mango Mussolini”, “Apricot Adolf”

[@semperfi818]

To say nothing of the Citrus (or Cantaloupe) Caligula, Agolf Twittler and Agent Orange, among others.

[@Lucius1958]

Or "Emperor Zero"...

[@sacrebleu1371]

Kumquat Kim

[@matthewbenton1630]

"In the favourables" I'm British and I'm definitely going to use that one from now on... here in UK there has be a serious double-entendre shortage recently.

[@rocknrollcannibals]

I can't wait for John Oliver to answer with a comment about his "favorables".

[@JuICyBLiinGeR]

No one talks that way here. But sure.. ask the American about a country he no longer lives In.

[@johnbrowne3950]

Oliver doesn't have any.

[@telectronix1368]

He wouldn't spell it 'favorables' for one thing.

[@lw3269]

An 87 year old man considering running for re-election in the Senate? Best argument I have ever heard for term limits.

[@judychurley6623]

Well if you live in the state he is running in, you get to express that opinion...by voting.

[@GlassOnion.]

Don’t forget he’s been at it since 1959.

[@brennagwyncampbell3127]

Evie's laughs and chuckles are life. She is all the audience I need until I can score LSSC tickets post-pandemic.

[@ZenFrequency111]

I completely agree! She makes me laugh more

[@elhopper3735]

The background laughter is one of the things that make this show so great

[@noelchaddy2677]

Hi how're you?

[@noelchaddy2677]

@@elhopper3735 Hi how're you?

[@culibarri2709]

@@elhopper3735 The real background laughter.

[@Nevertoleave]

“They would not be armed?!?” That’s suspiciously specific

[@atiredfloridian777]

More like alarming.

[@savingpyro]

Well it is the same county that gave us Sheriff Joe Arpaio

[@flackstar007]

I guess this could be pre-emptive gaslighting. When the people are clearly armed, they then refer to the original pre-emptive statement after the event like its now proof of the (lie)...

[@mikedineen7857]

You didn’t remember that?

[@RoseyRosies]

Makes me feel like they will definitely be armed.

[@thebluereason]

my favorite thing about audience-less late night shows is hearing the crew genuinely burst out in laughter

[@liteasura6111]

Crew? Basically his wife

[@lizardog]

@Family PC you pay your family to laugh at you? Weird.

[@rourketraining]

LiteAsura um... no. She’s often there too. That laughter was the cameraman.

[@hotprints]

@Family PC yup. We should wake up and go watch right wing media that is totally not owned by a billionaire pushing his agenda by paying dipshits to lie on public tv...oh wait.

[@kommo1]

@@hotprints @Family PC You Two are the reason I dont have a TV anymore.

[@cheryal6661]

Y-M-C-A-hole Props 👍👏

[@blackbird5634]

FIVE of Baffert's horses tested positive for drugs THIS YEAR. He just pays the fines and keeps doing it.

[@lanapowell]

Remember folks, if the penalty for something is only a fine, that doesn't mean it's wrong. It means it's only wrong for poor people.

[@cleatusbarncoat8642]

Horse racing is just following MLB’s PED blueprint. I oughta know. /s/Lance Armstrong

[@culibarri2709]

He has to keep going for the wins and Triple Crowns. /s I do wonder how many football players would pass blood or urine tests for things like Ibuprofen, other NSAIDs or low level anti-inflammatories...like the horse may have been given. This is not an argument for using illegal drugs on horses. Just a thought experiment because that is one of the sports that is week-in and week-out physically punishing. (My son and his Varsity Teammates were absolutely worthless the day after game night. The bruises would almost be gone by next game).

[@tomgbghva347]

Sounds like a Trump strategy

[@endeavourist5287]

Stephen's wife laughing in the background makes his videos even better.

[@NewMessage]

Of course Donnie has a problem with a drugged up horse. Horse teeth and a drug problem? It reminds him of both Don Jr. and Eric all at once!

[@theresaiwright7085]

😂😂😂

[@jocelynjohnston8257]

😄😄😄😄😄

[@dividedconquered3784]

🤣😂🐴

[@B_Bodziak]

I thought it was all of that *STABLE* genius in him.

[@joesdi]

🔥🔥🔥

[@katechurch9166]

Happy birthday Stephen. You kept me sane in 2020. You look a lot younger since the election and even here in Australia we are breathing a sigh of relief

[@sunnydaze2359]

Kate : I think we ALL look a lot younger and happier since the election.(most of us here in America are also breathing a sigh of relief ) for the life of me I don’t know how that idiot ever got in.!

[@robertgraybeard3750]

@@sunnydaze2359 - yes, I've wonder the same myself. Charisma can only take you so far . . . but then again, Hitler was elected Chancellor. He tapped a deep surge of hatred

[@QUICKBOOKS1]

I have noticed Humour is coming BACK now!

[@JazzyMaeMedia]

Happy Birthday to Stephen Colbert!

[@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475]

Worth Noting: 0:29 All the old white men are facing one direction, and Liz is facing the other... As is George Washington in the painting behind them. (Also the only one wearing Red on the photo. Damn... That's a good photographer/ artist. Wow.)

[@JonDials]

I can’t wait until ten years from now when I turn on the news to see “4,034th audit of Maricopa County’s votes will begin Friday”

[@Lucius1958]

*"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result."*

[@crash.override]

Right after that day's Benghazi committee hearing

[@jayceh]

@@Lucius1958 they're not doing the same thing, they're going to manufacture "evidence"

[@occhamsrazor]

@@crash.override No joke... We were talking about trumps call to GA and the "audit" and a troll actually said what are democrats hiding? Why doesn't Biden investigate the election fraud, as well as hunters and Hillary's emails, if they have nothing to hide?

[@ericwilliams1659]

@@crash.override hey crash are you still dating Acid Burn?

[@laalaa99stl]

Meanwhile in Myanmar, the military is looking for evidence of US tampering in _their_ election by looking for Cheetos dust.

[@thisistheaccountname]

Ha!

[@reaperking2121]

Nah. If they are afraid of American Interference in their election they would be looking for Grease stains or gun poweder residue on their ballots. That or suspicously well armed and trained rebels backed by some very modern tech.

[@norafox4789]

Heeheehaha HAHAHEEHEE!!!

[@jeffbaer5851]

"Chef's kiss!"

[@slcpunk2740]

They found KFCs 11 herbs and spices in their ballots with a 5K camera, hmmm well isn't that curious ... and delicious. 🍗

[@StaggerLee68]

"Sister Death Strike." That is a great band name, will make a great t-shirt and may be the most fitting title she ever had. Nice work.

[@Mario-yx1pq]

One of the funniest things from this show during the pandemic has been Stephen's wife giggling in the back.

[@jocelynjohnston8257]

I love Evie. They're the cutest damn couple.

[@mariepanimdim4303]

I LOVE EVEY

[@ChaseSchleich]

I'm so ready for a crowd though. Kimmel has had his back for a while and Seth Meyers brought people back recently. If they can do it, so can Colbert, Daily Show and Last Week Tonight. I hope they all start bringing people back in soon.

[@kathypiazza7228]

@@ChaseSchleich as long as Evie makes regular visits!

[@JuICyBLiinGeR]

Marry her for fucks sake.

[@ehCanucklehead]

Fealty, not loyalty, is a much more appropriate term for these mindless sycophants

[@ekdaufin1485]

Nice vocabulary!

[@fuqwinfuqwin1967]

As a longtime fan of the Colbert Report, I am a big fan of Colbert's descent into madness character arc.

[@TammyJerkChicken]

I love that you don’t name him I’ve developed a gag reaction to hearing his voice 😑

[@MrDogonjon]

When ever I hear pukealittleathisname i swallow hard and fight the urge to puke.

[@tommyt1971]

Read that he won’t refer to him by name until he concedes the election - so it’s a win for us because T***p will NEVER concede!

[@heatherway25]

I agree with you.

[@nostradamus9608]

Lock him up already! Mueller reported at least TEN instances of his obstruction of justice, just for starters....Can't believe that after ALL the harm he's said and done to this country and its people he's still enjoying full freedom. And if he's still free at Mara Lago in 11/2022, his knucklehead followers will turn this country upside down again, much worse than they did on Jan. 6 Take my word on it.

[@kencurtis2403]

Trump, Trump, Trump :)

[@martin4374]

They want her seat, and they'll do whatever they can, and love any devil to do it.

[@resistanceisfutile3920]

Beetlejuice kept coming back because they kept repeating his name. So glad that Stephen won't say it.

[@emilyderoest4732]

Watch the horse breeder guy smirking as he denies the fact that his animal has been drugged. Like, does he want us to believe the horse took the steroids itself?

[@Droemar]

"It was a cancel culture kind of thing." What? It's a fucking drug test. You knew full well the animal had the drugs in its system and now that it won you're like "OH SHIT!"

[@victoriabaker4400]

@@Droemar He's had multiple drug test fails with other horses in recent years.

[@Droemar]

@@victoriabaker4400 And how dare people point that out, right? It's cancel culture. Jesus. XD

[@cinne2135]

Cancel culture at the friggin Kentucky Derby??? What nonsense! And the drug, I read, was a pain killer of sorts. The horse had past the regulated amount in his system. So sad...

[@krejados1]

And, of course, the orange cheeto's chime in: "The horse is a junky (sic)", apparently implying that the horse actively seeks its own high...

[@elhopper3735]

“And only person noticing the zombies breaching the barricades” I gotta say, Colbert always kills it with these jokes. They’re my favorite, always a laugh

[@noelchaddy2677]

Hi how're you?

[@harveydeclan8538]

i guess I'm kinda off topic but do anybody know of a good website to stream new movies online ?

[@rocknrollmilitant]

Which one is your favorite? "GOP Conference Chairwoman and only person noticing the zombies breaching the barricade, Liz Cheney." "House Minority Leader and guy watching his ex-wife set fire to his model trains, Kevin McCarthy." "Iowa Senator and Nosferatu's accountant, Chuck Grassley." "Renowned horse trainer and man who answers every phone call with 'TALK TO ME!', Bob Baffert."

[@Rudy04]

"Your horse has tested positive for steroids" "Damn country is too woke" "Wait, what?"

[@resileaf9501]

Damn you Cancel Culture for going against this most noble of activities: Drug use in sports!

[@MonsieurDrobot]

Kamala isn’t crazy, she just has a disease that makes you laugh like a psycho when confronted!!

[@aproxamillionwasps474]

@@MonsieurDrobot what the hell are you talking about lol

[@nanszoo3092]

What kind of madness is this, expecting honest competition? that's not the american way! Next thing they'll want us to pay our taxes too!

[@elhopper3735]

@@nanszoo3092 ugh i know right! next thing you know we’ll have to actually follow laws

[@Anarasha]

My grandfather is in his 80s, has had a small blood clot in his brain and cancer in one eye. He runs about 14km(8.6 miles) almost every day, walks a neighbour's dog simply to spend time with it and is in better physical shape than I have ever been in my life. Not sure 2 miles is much of a brag

[@carolynworthington8996]

It would be for some of us! Good for your grandfather.

[@debbieedwards420]

Great for him.

[@amberkat8147]

It would be for me! I have serious asthma and can't even run a 64th of a mile.

[@Anarasha]

@@amberkat8147 Sure, but you're not a politician trying to brag about sometimes walking 2 miles. Asthma is a valid qualifier, don't get me wrong. Apologies if I offended you :-)

[@cutelittlemoose]

@@Anarasha To be fair, your grandfather could have gone through 20 years of chemotherapy with three different regimens simultaneously administered the whole time... and still have less toxins in his system than Chuck's poor body accrued being a DC politician all these years! :P

[@Kiyoone]

"Sister Death Strike" sounds like a Japanese pro-wrestler... Damn, this one was good

[@DelightLovesMovies]

I really appreciate you not referring to Agent Orange by his name.

[@id10t98]

Don The Insurrectionist?

[@anneseijbel1376]

The Orange-a-Tan?

[@MrDogonjon]

or any one else raperetractingwife morelawyersinjail daughterdater none of this is actionable libel or slander... common knowledge.... you can't make this up...

[@marliesyanke4580]

YES, SAME HERE

[@tim3172]

@UC3zoOb-qLHdIBdBVqngidaA Imagine being as stupid as RT is? Oof.

[@davedee6745]

Showing loyalty to a person with three wives seems a bit kooky. If he won't show loyalty to ONE wife, why show any loyalty to him?

[@dje6719]

Because he is the "chosen one"

[@azoth6641]

IMHO those GQP cowards (with notable exceptions such as Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger) are partly motivated by fear of Dolt 45 siccing his zombies on their asses, as what happened four months ago.

[@Shelora]

So you’re suggesting LOGIC?

[@janedoe247]

Yes!!!!!!

[@occhamsrazor]

Don't forget that wife 2 and 3 were mistresses that he left the former wife for.

[@yalondahowell9960]

🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣 LOL OMG that's right Tom Cruise was so mad he paid for shipping OMG that one got me too funny thank you 😂😂😂😆😆

[@MrAcid85]

Favourables are not how we Brits refer to our testicles but it is how I'll refer to mine now. Thank you Stephen.

[@alanai1981]

Good on you!! Lol

[@andrewcannon4757]

I came searching for this comment. I knew someone would clarify. :D

🤣🤣

[@618Fjk]

Could also say strain the spuds 😆

[@slhertoghe]

And we know he is, because fav-OU-rables. Solid British spelling :-)

[@TherealToppo]

Sir eats a lot first hit. "I like big burgers and I cannot lie"

[@theresaiwright7085]

😂😂😂😂

[@weijingburr2392]

"Back in Liz Cheney's father's days, you didn't stab them in them back, you shot them in the Face on a hunting trip And then you made them go TV and Apologize to YOU!" - I shot my coffee out of my nose there, thank you. Brilliant.

[@MTMF.london]

Those were the good old days!

[@whatifschrodingersboxwasacofin]

Mixing hot drinks and Colbert is one of the leading causes of nasal scalding. The experts recommend room temperature milk for the least damaging, and least painful, Colbert irrigation base. Frankly, you should know better by now. I somehow doubt this is the first time. 🧐

[@weijingburr2392]

@@whatifschrodingersboxwasacofin It was cold coffee. I do know better.

[@whatifschrodingersboxwasacofin]

@@weijingburr2392 😳 🏳️ 😵 You. Are my new hero. 🙏

[@mcullet2]

@ Sergei Abbitjakokov ~ Dude, that's a perfectly funny post.

[@lillyanderson3623]

Thank goodness Stephen is back!!!

[@maxwendling3333]

God your lack of presence last week put me in a mad rampage! Not like storming the Capital rampage, but like “please come back” kind of rampage.

[@claires1177]

😂🤣😂🤣..."he paid for shipping"😂🤣

[@missmiou6273]

Stephen is a manly man, he hit himself with foam and goes ouch hahahaha

[@jayweh]

and we love him for it.

[@missmiou6273]

@@jayweh yep

[@meinjapan]

As a Brit I approve of the “favourables” joke 👍🏻🤣

[@kildogery]

Yeah, that almost feels like it could have been written by a Brit. There's a few things here that remind me of British humour coming through these days, any British writers on the show? Or am I imagining things.

[@angier4560]

“NBC has canceled the 2022 golden globes-now what’s everyone not gonna watch?” 😂

[@michaeld9682]

We will really miss it... Not! kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGTIgKqBZdN5qdE

[@FixNewsPlease]

Colbert is the only public figure who will not refer to T**** by his name. 👍

[@mrjeff3000]

There are a great many text-internet people who are only calling him “the former guy”.

[@koopakookoo]

Whoopi & Sunny Hostin on the view never say Lord Cheeto stain’s name.

[@alexandermarvin9536]

I like to call him the former chief douchebag.

[@lindaterrell5535]

I call him “Trauma”

[@Pete...NoNotThatOne]

Orange Julius is my go-to, although Godzilla but with Less Foreign Policy Experience is getting up there. Eric’s Dad.

[@jackiepollard3651]

I live in Southern Ontario, and there's a neghbour down the road from me who grows bamboo every year. So I'm gonna call bulshit on 'looking for bamboo fibers' as pointing to China and only China.

[@masonkanterbury3007]

Along the Delaware river, and in colonial park, Somerset county nj, bamboo grows wild.

[@stevnated]

All these clever jokes, and it was the push-up gag that got me laughing out loud!

[@hayden3483]

We have bamboo down here in Virginia so their case isn't exactly air tight.

[@thisistheaccountname]

Grows wild in Florida.

[@ivanobar1]

Actually seems to grow every f-in where. Crap, I have a bamboo floor, and towel, and stirring spoon. OMG, I rigged the AZ election!

[@leonieromanes7265]

It's growing in my neighbours garden as we type!😱

[@theresaiwright7085]

@@ivanobar1 😂😂😂

[@lyndiss.2017]

@@ivanobar1 GASP!!! IT WAS YOU!!!

[@talonthehand]

I swear the "Old Politician Offering To Do Pushups For The Media" thing was the plot of an episode of Spin City

[@id10t98]

I instantly thought of Seinfeld and The Mendelbaum's, one played by Lloyd Bridges.

[@fewerbeansplease]

No one mentions Jack Palance!!?

[@stacialynnenelson8748]

I love your show thank you i would not have gotten through the pandemic without your help to make me laugh. 😊

[@lokithecat7225]

America, over 300 years of hypocritical, lying politicians. Also America: "This week we are shocked that (Insert politician Name here) is shown to be a Liar and a Hypocrite."

[@callen9623]

I like that stephen’s Grassley impression is basically an American version of the Swedish Chef who has no teeth

[@nnannakalu9423]

"Covfefool" is an excellent moniker for Tangerine Nero!

[@QUICKBOOKS1]

I forgot about that piece from Roy Zimmerman: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXqQZ2meed15i5I

[@DammitDavis]

I don't appreciate all of the "Qevin McQarthy" jokes... I much prefer "Kevin McCucky"

[@ValerieJNorse]

Ever since he said it, I've liked Brian Williams' "the walking profile in courage that is Kevin McCarthy."

[@ellec7276]

Stephen is a bada$$ with those fierce pushups!! The air-blowing pushups were especially 🔥🔥🔥 and seemed like they'd be physically impossible.🤔😋🙃 😂🤣😂🤣😂 #NoMoreLateShowStudioAudiences

[@ianw5663]

3:25 - "Duke Starjogger" - a tiny joke, but a strong one.

[@Leonaza7]

“Right now, it’s basically the Titanic. We’re like, you know, in this in the middle of this slow sink, we have a band playing on the deck telling everybody it’s fine” - Adam Kinzinger (R-IL)

[@boudicasayseclecticasfck1359]

What the hell USA? Y'all are not looking like geniuses on the World stage. That includes Dems. Dems took their best opportunity in a generation (or two) to genuinely create some positive, progressive change and gave the post to a conservative octogenarian that exemplifies a corporate toady DC swamp troll. Great work USA. Fantastic.... 🐞

[@jayannakelley9051]

I’m glad to be in IL..& I’m Independent!

[@michaelfernandez7805]

@@boudicasayseclecticasfck1359 Giberish

[@Withjoyfulsenescence]

I hope these Republicans just nake their own party and really be the party of Lincoln

[@kindlin]

@@boudicasayseclecticasfck1359 You can't be talking about Biden, can you? Biden is kicking ass. I know he voted for a couple things he shouldn't have, a war here, a tax there, but now that his ass is in the driver's seat, he is making all of the right moves. The republicans are flying through the playbook of bad moves and making sure they don't miss a single disaster on their way down the deep dive in the depraved depths of the orange 45's mind.

[@laalaa99stl]

All attacks on infrastructure should be treated as acts of war. Somebody in Russia should be receiving a visit from one of our drones.

[@jeffbaer5851]

One?

[@nickwallette6201]

Am I the only one that equates award shows to watching someone's DV-cam footage of their wedding reception, with commercial breaks, and then being asked about it in elevators for the next three days? Can we cancel _all_ of them?

[@DavidBagga]

“Ive misses you 6 ft ceilings and deafening silence” Lmao 😂😂

[@noaht3087]

Can you imagine writing "cyber ninjas" on a legal document. Their lawyers have to feel kind of stupid doing that. 🤨😆

[@DougShinstrom]

Almost as dumb as a lawyer holding a press conference at "Four Seasons Total Landscaping" haha

[@MrDogonjon]

It's "fraud guarantee" all over again ... how can you be that guilty in public like that

[@nnannakalu9423]

"...Noseferatu's accountant, Chuck Grassley." 😂😂😂😂😂

[@onnietalone3181]

he qualifies as a natural politician , in a class of his own, lol

[@renegade44040]

Welcome back!! That must have been a first That would be a history-making bit right there The push-ups in the rotating screen.😊😂

[@bcshelby4926]

...the sad part in Cyber Ninja's allegations is it will fuel even more anti Asian violence. I remember Ice Creme push ups.

[@chandrasekarank.l9146]

Advance Happy Birthday Mr. Stephen Colbert.

[@hollyyork1164]

Stephen is a decade older than me? That makes me feel so young given his level of energy and mental acuity! 💯❤✌

[@rhondah1587]

And to some of us oldies he is a smart, good looking young kid.

[@runner9528]

Person, woman, man, camera, TV

[@Tadicuslegion78]

“they had come to a time when no one dared speak his mind, when fierce, growling dogs roamed everywhere, and when you had to watch your comrades torn to pieces after confessing to shocking crimes.” ― George Orwell, Animal Farm

[@erikjohnson3859]

Republicans are the Pigs.

[@jeffbaer5851]

Sadly, a bunch of bloviating Trumpanzees, without ever having READ Animal Farm (or, more appropriately, having read the Cliffs Notes version and then cheated on the test for the book) will try to claim that "Grandpa Joe" is the villain in this scenario. Because the ONLY thing that the Reichwing knows how to do is project their own idiocy and evil onto others. Find me ONE original thought by a Republican -- one that isn't simply a ripoff of a criticism levelled against a member of their own failed party. (Spoiler -- you can't do it because it doesn't exist.)

[@jocelynjohnston8257]

@@jeffbaer5851 Magats don't read anything. I don't think they know how.

[@csgollum]

That is actually quite an apt comparison. I read Animal Farm once as a teenager. Never had the courage to read it again as I found it more terrifying than any horror film. And now, we seem to be actually living in Orwell's world as envisaged in AF and 1984.

[@wordzmyth]

@@csgollum Me too, I threw it under my bed when I was 12 and had nightmares

[@Gypsyqueen246]

This segment kept hitting all the through ( hat tip) 👏🏾 Dying of laughter 🤣right now. Also I hate being the news. Hi from AZ.

[@erinclarke3828]

Does Stephen still have that pledge going on where we won’t say Trump’s name because he hasn’t conceded?

[@EvilPlushToy]

When people said it was Cyber Ninjas, i thought they were joking. Are you telling me it's actually named that?

[@annemettefrederiksen7751]

Yes they are....

[@antionettemason1617]

Yes...smh

[@feyanpulman010]

The day isn't complete without Stephen's take on the news

[@mastersofwar324]

You got that right! It's a take on the news that's all it is.

[@maxk4324]

I think I've figured out why hearing the muffled laughter of the crew is so much funnier than hearing an audience. An audience is there to laugh, it's what they came to do and so everything is always hilarious to them. They laugh at the great ones and the meh ones all the same. But the crew is there to work day in and day out. They have years of experience filming comedy and not laughing. So hearing the crew laugh, the only people there who are specifically not supposed to laugh (usually), really drives home how funny something is in a way that an audience just cant.

[@Leonaza7]

The karma bus will come for the GOP members without spine someday and I hope Liz Cheney is driving it.

[@theresaiwright7085]

👍👍👍👍

[@judychurley6623]

Well, she voted with Trumpism 90% of the time, so, why is she a hero to the Left now?

[@Marijuanifornia]

Is that the same "karma bus" that didn't give a damn about WMD in Iraq, Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib, secret "black site" torture prisons, and drone strikes on hospitals?

[@SeansModelBuilds]

With Mitt Romney as Co-Driver?

[@leafmealome8910]

The last four years has made me a full believer in alternate universes. We got stuck in the bad timeline

[@onnietalone3181]

lol could have been four more years of a dream, to be the but of all jokes, unheard of , ,

[@enviromental2565]

Absolutely. I hope the inhabitants of alternate Earths are making a better go of it.

[@matthewwhite4154]

I wonder if in another reality Republicans are actually good people ... >.> ...

[@yay-depression]

this is the bad place lol

[@jschuler53]

@Twammington Twammleberry when you have to resort to name-calling you lost your argument, your point---if you had one. If you attack people who question you are no longer having a conversation.

[@Mountlougallops]

I forgot that Cheney made his unfortunate target 🎯 apologize on tv for getting his face in the way of his shotgun

[@brentfellers9632]

$3 PER GALLON? no wonder the planets choking! If Americans new theTRUE cost of gasoline maybe we would stand a chance as a species 🤔

[@NoahsGameCave]

Right in me favorables!

[@annapurna391]

Yes, here we are. Where were you. A week without your show was TERRIBLE!!!

[@clementeric5363]

Annapurna Happy Mothers day to you, sorry it came late, hope you had a beautiful moment?

[@josiemcmillan5012]

“Ted Cruz’s beard crabs” might be the worst thing I’ve heard all week.

[@michaeld9682]

This is the worst leftists video of the week

[@policerthought5649]

@@michaeld9682 Lol someone’s triggered

[@jeffreyxu6430]

"Has there ever been anyone in government as weak as Kevin Mccarthy?" So. Goddamn. True. I can't think of anyone. Edit: Many good options, I should reiterate and say weakest gop leader. None have bowed down to a person so much.

[@dozzer009]

He probably piddles on the floor every time he hears trumps lies, then rolls over to show what a beta he’s become.

[@jonasp6043]

Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Mitch McConnell would give him a good match.

[@ilanamillion8942]

@@jonasp6043 And of course Lindsay Graham, the ultimate toady.

[@jdax21]

Anyone remember Mark Meadows? Spicer? Flimsy Graham? The GQP is full of gutless boot-lickers.

[@jerryfraley5904]

Devin Nunez has long held the seat, time to move over devie.

[@kodurivenkatanarayana5929]

Love you, dear Stephen. Missing you these days after 12 hour drudgery in a restaurant. Wisdom with humor is what your show is.Glad my sources are research oriented and scientific and funny.

[@kosewa1]

I’m really going to miss this kind of Monologue when the show goes back to the studio.

[@JimmyJ19996]

Right?!? I like this style sooo much more too

[@jzthompson9598]

Let's petition for no audiences. I enjoy this format so much more.

[@ricardocerrillo1897]

Love to hear Stephen's crew laughing it up off stage. Stephen never misses the mark.

[@NediSafa]

That was one of the funniest monologues ever. I thought my life was complete before, but now I've seen Stephen with foam nun-chuks.

[@evansiegel9261]

“Talk to me!” So damn funny

[@abbyclay1412]

STEPHEN STOP LEAVING US YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS WHAN YOU’RE GONE

[@pittszoid7316]

Damn, you are on FIRE tonight!

[@mattmayo3539]

When will the abuse of horses end?

[@thechumpsbeendumped.7797]

“There is no category for late night? Oh then fuck em” made me lol.

[@pemdechen6300]

That was hilarious :)

[@chriskelly3481]

😆👍 I KNEW I didn't have to write it! Cheers.

[@alexandradaniele]

If someone comes to my door to canvas, I'll examine them for traces of bamboo!

[@culibarri2709]

Around here, they would leave with bamboo fibers if it were my choice.

[@deniseparrott9678]

The push-ups, the nunchuks, or the “home” audience laughter - can’t decide which is funniest but I’m going to be laughing for days!

[@errgag3580]

Thats not cool Stephen! Next time you're taking off, send me a personal message.

[@bushybeardedbear]

Stephen. I want to see you in Mad Max so bad now. It'd be perfect. I can feel it right in me favourables.

[@KarenJohnson-ej3cj]

Stephen, your joke writers are top-notch but nothing can compare to those cyberninja-esque and other shennanigans you go on with! Sooo hilarious!

[@sealyoness]

About time! I've missed Evie's laugh.

[@Leonaza7]

Does anyone recall when they told Hillary to get over? Here we are 6 months later?😫😩😤⏰🤦🏽‍♀️

[@crystalvegansmith5728]

Omg and it never was an insurrection when Hilary lost, Whats crazy is the Democrats had a better argument to proclaim the election was stolen because Hillary actually had won the popular vote.

[@chadfr1013]

That's a good point I forgot about!

[@treasuremage7546]

@@crystalvegansmith5728 Who cares bout the popular vote though? Y'all have an electoral college because the people that designed the consitution knew direct democracy would be tyranny.

[@rsmith02]

@@treasuremage7546 They had a lot of strange and anti-democratic ideas including not directly electing the Senate. We upgraded some aspects of democracy 1.0 over the centuries but the electoral college remains.

[@Marijuanifornia]

A shitty society produces shitty people who become shitty leaders. Blame yourselves.