Scalise Nabs House Speaker Nom | George Santos Scammed His Own Donors | Bigfoot Found!

[@Hellkite-er5pg]

Did Steve Scalise say that he is "David Duke without the baggage"? No wonder the GOP voted for him!

[@flangekiwi]

Yes, yes he did. Now you'll have a Klansman 3rd in line to the presidency.

[@chrisbutler1668]

@@flangekiwi We've already had a Klansman in the White House...Woodrow Wilson.

[@schlega2]

"without the baggage" is why he's too much of a squishy moderate for some of them.

[@JLee-rt6ve]

The airline lost his pointy hood and white robes? Now how is he going to go to that cross burning?!

[@smalltime0]

@@JLee-rt6ve Oh it is literal, now it makes sense.

[@lw3269]

"Dog in a man suit" writer deserves a raise.

[@bleeperton]

That's what the strike was for. So yep they did

[@KitC916]

Leave dogs outta this!

[@kingjamos2422]

I don't know... I'm almost convinced it is a man in a dog suit.

[@jjwubs1638]

Woof woof!!!

[@Sillybillyilly]

I was stuck between dont insult dogs to that is 100% true

[@Ari-pw6nu]

So she's been accused of adultery? Has she ever read The Scarlet Letter?

[@LivingroomTV-me9oz]

For those of us who haven’t and didn’t understand the reference, why did she think she was wearing a red ‘A’?

[@intomnia3313]

The character in the book was forced to wear the red letter A as punishment for adultery. Nancy thinks she’s being punished for not supporting scalise

[@amazingdoggo]

@@LivingroomTV-me9oz The "A" stands for adultery. In the book, which takes place in a Puritan community, the alleged adulteress had to wear a red "A" so people would know about her sin and treat her accordingly. One theme of the book seems to be that Hester Prynne (the adulteress) was punished because she didn't conform. That seems to be Mace's point. That she's being fussed at for being a woman who used her voice in opposition to most Republicans. That's giving her the benefit of the doubt. She may have just been trying to sound smart for a bunch of people who wouldn't understand the reference and wouldn't bother to ask for an explanation.

[@nvzblgrrl]

​@amazingdoggo ...I think you missed the part where her 'partner' in adultery was a man in a position of authority in the community for years, who was just as complicit but escaped equal treatment because of his position and Hester's silence/refusal to implicate him. Either way, her reference is improperly used because her situation is based on her active + continuous actions rather than 'I have transgressed once in the name of love and my community wishes to punish me for it while my lover disowns me to cover his own ass'.

[@AnnDavis-mk7lz]

Another book she'll add to "the banned club." Hope she reads it first to understand she sounds like she's advertising to get in or under to advance.

[@CanadianSmoke]

What the hell is wrong with America? Why isn't George Santos in jail already? Has the GOP turned into one-upmanship of "Who can have the most charges before cuffs?"

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

George Santos was too tame for Brazil, where one Senator opened fire and killed another back in 1963. He was acquitted - he didn't kill the guy he was aiming for. His son then became President and stole billions...true story!

[@CanadianSmoke]

@@lenawagenfuehr53 Ah yes... the deadly dance between Arnon de Melo, Sylvestré Péricles, and José Kairala... please don't give Laurie Boebért or old Marge Greene any ideas.

[@angelikaopland7880]

Basically, yes.

[@sandralamphier9433]

Hey! I resemble that remark! 🤪 He was indicted quickly! It only took 4 months for the first 13 charges and another 5 months for the next 10! It took over 2 YEARS to finally get trumpty his first set! (Actually 6 years from committing the crimes alleged in the NYC case!). 😖 This is moving at light speed! 😏. It’s not our court system’s fault that he hasn’t been 🥾 out of Congress already since the rethuglikans need to be willing to get that ball rolling 🙄. If he were a dem, he would have been out even before the first indictment, based on his numerous lies. 😡

[@chrissyce5613]

The republicans have to keep George Santos in congress or they lose their majority and the democrats are back in charge. I personally believe that to actually be a republican in office there is now a requirement to be one of the following; a wife beater, sexual assaulter, believe women are property of men so they can do whatever they please to them, pedophile or in Gym Jordan;s case, not report sexual assault of your students, a criminal or just a plain old bigot. Oh, I forgot a religious terrorist.

[@veronicastewart1112]

Oh God, I don't know how I kept my sanity while Stephen was gone. I'm so glad he's back!

[@shermanculbertson6244]

It’s nothing short of totally and absolutely humiliating and embarrassing that George Santos is a member of Congress.

[@dotapark]

I thought that guy is kicked out or something. He’s still in there?

[@casbot71]

Even when he's finally gone, the Dems should remind everyone and campaign on the Republicans standing by Santos for so long.. _Make them own him._

[@MadDragon76]

​@@dotaparkstill running for re-elecrion actually.

[@Ari-pw6nu]

As embarrassing as boebert, mtg, trump.... the list continues to grow.

[@carl1367]

you could insert any republican into that sentence and it would still make sense

[@jasonarthurs3885]

Lake is not qualified to run for Senate seat without walking away from "her" gubernatorial seat.

[@amazingdoggo]

Same situation as Trump running for a "third" term.

[@ruthtaylor1450]

😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@lornahampson4954]

🤔😂😂😂

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Crazy Lake

[@donnao2685]

Saying that she "misses" Trump's "mean tweets" says everything about her.

[@laalaa99stl]

This will be the thing that ends him. Stealing from anyone else? A-OK. Stealing from GOP donors? Buh-bye.

[@gus.smedstad]

Eh, Trump steals from his donors all the time, and the GOP doesn't care.

[@pisto30]

The best part is, he thinks they won't do anything to him because he's a fellow member of the party. He needs to talk to Madison Cawthorn.

[@johnathanh2660]

I thought Trump did something similar. One time donations were turned into monthly subscriptions,

[@kimclarke5018]

Right 😂

[@LindaElliott-u2f]

Are you kidding? They’ll say they’re happy about it. Anything to keep republicans in power.

[@sharontaylor4148]

I've had a miserable few days, no sleep, no Colbert, no joy. Finally dropped last night and let it all go. Slept. Feet hit the floor this morning at 5 with a promise of better in my heart. Then up came Steven on KZbin and life was good again. I laugh out loud while I make my tea and guffaw trying not to spill it on my way to my chair! Life is good again, thank you Colbert Show!

[@HairynosedWombat163]

❤

[@ritalandry5665]

In these tough times, we can rely on Colbert to lighten the mood!!

[@camelsheit_on_the_walls446]

Seriously, what has the GQP going for them other than to continously trump each other at being vile & destructive? Do they even deserve to be called a political party any longer? What, if anything, are they doing that is an actual sevice to their constituents? What, if anything, are they doing that is not an actual _disservice_ (to put it mildly) to their constituents?

[@lostcat9lives322]

You profoundly misunderstand "their constituents". The repubs were voted in to their offices by illiterate, pigbrained, gunqueer, trump-supporting white trash. The repubs are doing exactly what their "constituents" want.

[@M3T2W01f]

The only thing going for them is their constituents being gullible enough to vote for them again in 2024.

[@thirstfast1025]

I tried for almost 2 minutes to read this as a poem. This isn't a poem, is it? Why did you type it out like a poem?

[@DSAK55]

The service to their constituents is to make them feel good about being ignorant awholes

[@tabbyreed8925]

They hate who their constituents hate, that's all it takes.

[@CapitalisticEmu]

It baffles me how being indicted or having criminal convictions does not prevent someone from running for office in the US! Can we have a referendum or pass a bill making it a disqualifying criteria?

[@veryberry39]

It probably would have been a provision, had the Founding Fathers ever thought anyone so dishonorable had a chance of running.

[@MarxistKnight]

They probably didn’t think they needed to.

[@josiahferguson6194]

Running for office with criminal indictments should absolutely be allowed, imagine if a republican attorneys general could indict Joe Biden on whatever he could come up with, while having basically zero evidence for it, and with this indictment prevent him from running for president.

[@goodtroublemaker143]

We could just not vote for them.

[@Khaim.m]

Indictment can't be disqualifying because of that whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing.

[@mooseitself]

Santos accidentally found out how easy it is to grift the right. He practically stumbled into a room full of mob bosses and just kept trying to grift.

[@deborahburrell-sinkler8005]

I missed you SO MUCH! Happy as hell that you’re back on the air

[@ingajohannsdottir1180]

She must not know what the scarlet letter was about...😂

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

Get the seditionsists out of our Congress.

[@hmdwgf]

Steve Scalise once called himself “David Duke without the baggage”. Let that sink in.

[@Sunny25611]

Indeed.

[@chonqmonk]

I'm confused here. What is supposed to be sinking in that isn't immediately available in the instant horror of reading that? Am I missing something here?

[@jcoopes5604]

David duke was a grand master in the KKK! He ran for president in 92, the year Clinton won!

[@ZHZhuull]

​@@chonqmonkjust that he thought this would be a thing that say to help him win over Republicans and he was absolutely right

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

How do you become a less sympathetic figure after surviving an assassination attempt? *Sees that Scalise compared himself to a former grand wizard of the KKK* Yep, that’ll do it.

[@duicic8541]

Ah, George Santos, the gift that keeps on giving if you are at a safe distance. Our local newspaper once ran a story on his little foibles with the absolutely perfect title „The Talented Mr. Santos“. Absolutely died. 😂🤣

[@jasonsabbath6996]

I think you misspelled "grift" and "grifting". 😉😊

[@NuiYabuko]

​@@jasonsabbath6996 I was about to write something similar.

[@duicic8541]

@@jasonsabbath6996 - you’re not wrong. In my defense, it was super late when I wrote this. 😝

[@prissilou]

Just one more reason I love Stephen Colbert...he always makes my wine come out of my nose...

[@merlapittman5034]

Love the sasquatch update! After all the terrible political news, it's great to have something to laugh at 😂

[@Saje3D]

How do Republicans “miss” Donald Trump? He never went away.

[@anitakeegan7950]

Hilarious!

[@LongShen1985]

We'd never miss him. By we I mean anyone not supporting trump.

[@terryoquinn8199]

Unfortunately !

[@kathybyerly7904]

Right!!! He gives repubs orders on truth social.

[@charlesr3351]

He's that annoying floater that just won't flush.

[@curiousnerdkitteh]

"The rudderless Republicans in Congress have moved tantalizingly close to doing the bare minimum."

[@thoth8663]

They're getting ready for their trip to the Kremlin for Thanksgiving.

[@angelikaopland7880]

That's both funny & a perfectly accurate description.

[@angelikaopland7880]

That's both funny & a perfectly accurate description.

[@johnross704]

The president is doing a great job!😂😂😂😂😂👎🏻

[@thoth8663]

@@johnross704 how very astute of you, indeed he has done a stellar job of polishing the turd the last guy left on the White House lawn. And he followed that chore up with an impressive number of accomplishments for the benefit of the citizens of this great nation.... Very Presidential 👍✌️🇺🇸👥🌀💙

[@223Drone]

George Santos really has no shame, it wouldn't surprise me if he claims to be a survivor of both the Titanic and Hindenburg.

[@fabrisseterbrugghe8567]

Well, one of them knocked him on the head so hard that Santos thinks he's qualified to be in Congress.

[@poorthing]

❤

[@floris-janvandermeulen8054]

His lies and lack of shame makes his claim to be Trump’s love child rather credible. Poor Eric….

[@desertdaisymarie6951]

He claimed he was with Hitler when the Nazis sank the Titanic..

[@jasonchicago7276]

Stephen and his writers are coming in hot! Hilarious monologue!!

[@ulyssessquitieri9931]

I JUST LOVE THE BAND FOR THE JOKES AT THE BEGINNING 😂😂😂

[@yurielcundangan9090]

George calling the reporter disingenuous is a classic

[@CrymsonNite]

"I didn't have access to my phone" **while on his phone**

[@denniethompson8886]

​Me bvvv

[@johnshite4656]

Con men gonna con.

[@Woodbug-b7t]

I luv the Santos, leaps tall buildings in a single bound, except for the Trump Tower which is soo much shorter.

[@SeansModelBuilds]

​@@CrymsonNiteAt least he got his Tenses correct.

[@NewMessage]

Given the record of Republican self-owns.. I guess we can expect Mace to be embroiled in a cheating scandal aaaaany minute now.

[@BarbaraCowdery]

I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you are back!

[@Gtcarter3262]

Yes! Me too!

[@leyrua]

My favorite Bigfoot sighting was when a guy named Aron Ra was hitchhiking at night and some coyotes started stalking him. So to scare them off, he started bellowing at them whenever they got too close. Apparently some people saw him from a distance, because when he got to town people warned him that he should probably find a place to stay for the night because several people had seen Bigfoot prowling around. It didn't occur to him until later that HE was the Bigfoot they had spotted. 🤣 For context, he's a big dude with long hair, and he was wearing an old sweater at the time, so he had an incredibly hairy silhouette.

[@rcpilot179]

Before we condemn poor George Santos, we should remember all that he has done for humanity. Without him, we still would not understand electricity or have electric lights and televisions. Remember that the next time that you have someone bad to say about this sweet little man/ identity thief. 😢

[@HairynosedWombat163]

To be honest, it would have been hilarious to see Santos in the speakers chair, in drag and banging his gavel

[@rcpilot179]

@@HairynosedWombat163 lol 😆

[@EastSider48215]

And how quickly we have forgotten his bravery during the Battle of Iwo Jima! Shame on us!

[@kayschirmer7310]

I missed you and your team of writers so much. Each morning for the past 5 months I have woken up in the morning and not had my usual laugh with my husband in bed before the day begins. We may be on the other side of the world and not share the same government, but you provide us with such joy.

[@floris-janvandermeulen8054]

Makes me have a cheerful breakfast with the thought that own govt and parliament is not half as bad. :)

[@TheWtfanime]

"I've tasted chaos" should be a slogan for taco bell, not a way for anyone in the government to describe how a specific party is failing at their job.

[@WA_S_S_AW]

The new Chaos Extreme Quesadilla Melt, only at select Taco Bells.

[@Seigensi]

You've never had stuffed haggis?

[@firstlast-gn5bo]

Scraping the bottom of the barrel of America. Nobody wants their policies so they’ll force them upon us via fascism. Vote 💙💙💙

[@thesilentangel8299]

Louis Cato jumping in with the trombone was just 😂😂.

[@dianacanales2526]

Yaay! Drummer Joe Saylor is back!🤠 Love your show Stephen!! So Glad All of you are back!❤

[@ashleighspencer9202]

Gosh I have missed you!!! Your daily shows make my week more bearable.

[@rikkiechambers4959]

Aaaand now I gotta go check out more of that Bigfoot footage hahaha 😂😅 god it’s great to have the writers back .. and Stephen and the band .. I missed you !

[@artemiomarifosque7927]

Thank God, we are watching you Stephen here in the Philippines usually daily to be entertained educatef & informed rightly about where USA is going forward. Cheers,Man, take care of Evie & the CBS.

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

A number of Republicans have already said they won't vote for Scalise, Get ready for another voting marithon

[@rickpaulos]

Why will the voting be any different from when McCarthy was trying to make deals to get the speaker-ship? Any one will have to sell his soul to get the job. Expect many votes over many days as any rep has to make secret deals to get elected.

[@anthonyschlott916]

I will need another 3 bowls of popcorn.

[@sharonharris9782]

I'm looking forward to it!

[@DoubleTrouble-li5wi]

@@sharonharris9782 Same! The Schadenfreude left me in a good mood for months!

[@JLee-rt6ve]

They keep trying to sell their souls to the Devil for the position, but he keeps saying, "That all you got?"

[@WilliamMc91]

Louis' womp womp playing on the trombone was classic comedy 😂

[@michaelparks7177_BritOz]

It’s GREAT to see you back Steven!

[@lynnebarrett9912]

Stephen, you and your writers are absolutely the best!! 💙

[@AwkwrdPrtMskrt]

I know we barely escaped having Speaker Gymbo, but I'm not sure Speaker Gumbo is any better.

[@winonafrog]

Nor are these gymbros at 9:50 qualified for anything 🙄

[@queerbotanicalqueen]

Well…

[@sandrawilson8792]

😅

[@Opinionsrnotfacts574]

Finally Kari has found one thing in common with her guy crush Trump - they both lose elections spectacularly!

[@alexandradaniele]

And keep challenging their loss in court numerous times and losing in court numerous times!

[@ourkeving]

I know she's just stirring up support, but how did the "mean tweets" keep you safe? Never a harsh word was spoken to impeachy's fellow heads of state. And now with playing the classics, at rallies repeating Obama's middle name, to rule up his racists. That's just cheap brainwashing, but it will work.

[@janetstonerook4552]

And they lie, sneer and are very ill tempered.

[@meh8982]

She's been following his playbook religiously ever since she came on the scene, and grifting magnificently as a result.

[@Savagery21]

Respect to Steven Colbert for turning politics into a sitcom. I love how satirizes people almost nobody cares about.

[@JohnDrummondPhoto]

"...As anyone who's been in a three-way knows, the guy usually finishes first. I don't know what that means." Suuuurrrre 😂😂

[@laalaa99stl]

10:50 Stephen's heroic effort to pronounce "cryptozoologist" was the highlight of this monologue.

[@purpisfulnanogetic4251]

I was there at the live broadcast he really messes up that section he had to do the first part twice

[@EmilyPlein]

Was he drunk? He seems like he’s having a tough go at getting back behind the wheel.

[@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980]

​@@EmilyPlein The guy has a minor stutter, so it's not surprising he occasionally trips on his tongue. The Fact that he only occasionally messes up his lines is very impressive.

[@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980]

Poor guy I felt for him, having a stutter, even a minor one, & doing live TV is rather brave of him.

[@floris-janvandermeulen8054]

I thought his quick comeback showed his stand up qualities.

[@jamesonmiller8283]

The "A" was for adultery (from the book), maybe she should have chosen a different letter (unless she is trying to tell us something).

[@jasonsabbath6996]

She is, she's telling us she is and idiot who can't read!

[@HelgeKS]

She’s trying to tell us she’s a witch…

[@5cloudwalker]

If they want an anti-vaccine debate put both in an infected room and see who survives a few days later.

[@winonafrog]

9:50 room of absolute Losers, 45 years old pretending theyre still frat guys. Its embarrassing and frankly a bit closeted.

[@DCMarvelMultiverse]

Reagan Coalition: We will transform America. Also Reagan Coalition: Let's go crazy. Let's get nuts!

[@djaqueirozputinstalin7694]

You make me blush with disbelief, Mr.😂 Colbert. You show makes mine loose all of my audience. You deserve it! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Perfect! 😁🧟‍♀️👻🧟‍♂️😁

[@CourageKarnga]

Honestly, it's depressing to think that Steve Scalise is only better than Jim Jordan because he's confined crazy. What a disgrace!

[@Jarockstar]

💯

[@MonkeyJedi99]

Scalise is only a little politically right of Josef Stalin, no big deal, right?

[@theTeleforce]

For anyone curious, the scarlet letter "A" is supposed to stand for "adulteress." (You'd think one of those reporters might have told her that...)

[@amazingdoggo]

It's a stretch, but a case can be made in her defense. However, intellectual subtlety is not for her fans, so I'm not sure who her intended audience was... At any rate, it was a weird choice of symbols.

[@alexandradaniele]

I bet Marge "adultereress" Greene wants that big A tee shirt!

[@NewMessage]

So.. a week, let's say, before Donnie starts ripping on Santos because he feels his 'most indictments record' is being threatened?

[@floris-janvandermeulen8054]

Nah, he’ll appoint his secret love child his next AG.

[@raybailey4831]

Great show. I laugh so hard sometimes I have tears rolling down my face. Thank you. I'm in S.C.

[@noemimaldo]

How you can miss someone that is always on the news.

[@UberLummox]

God, it's GREAT to have the writers back! GREAT job!!!

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

George Santos made one fatal mistake, Never mess with Rich people's money

[@Lonewolfmike]

Look at Bernie Madoff.

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

@@Lonewolfmike definitely, he stole from rich and lower class

[@twist58]

Hope he gets the same treatment as Bernie Madoff if thrown into prison: A life sentence.

[@DneilB007]

If five Republicans “flip”, you could end up with Speaker Jeffries by the end of the week.

[@badpiggies988]

OMG that would be amazing!

[@thurayya8905]

A girl can dream.

[@chonqmonk]

*Hope is free!*

[@johnshite4656]

AOC says this won't happen because it's unheard of for a speaker of another party to vote for your nominee, being in the opposing party. HOWEVER, I hear they have one on board already, soooo..... fingers crossed for big historic moment. This act, of Republicans voting for Jeffries, would basically mean the Republican Party is dead at this point, with its own members showing zero confidence in it. The GOP is drowning and struggling to keep its head above water. The longer this goes on the longer that head will disappear below the surface each time. Until it finally no longer reappears, drifting down to its watery grave. It may be loud as it surfaces, screaming in desperation whatever it thinks might work to get somebody to save it.... but no one wants to. Not even its de facto leader, the Trumpaloompa.

[@albertparson5097]

Dems better off rallying someone like Cheney who isn't all in with MAGA and try to get a handful of Republicans to join in. Jeffries is a reach those guys not gonna give power to the Dems not in this day and time

[@mariannesheedy1872]

❤❤❤Thank you, so much for this much. much needed laugh.

[@nilesoien7867]

That sad trombone was prophetic.

[@thesilentangel8299]

Louis Cato got hit with the Apollo Ball.

[@k29king1]

The entire GOP is like sad satire.

[@angelikaopland7880]

...but with real ambitions & real guns.

[@dark_neverland]

Even satire makes you laugh once in awhile. These folks just make us angry and cry

[@k29king1]

@@dark_neverland Well that’s why I called it sad satire. There’s nothing funny about it. They are comically evil, and I mean that like they are actually like made for TV movie kind of evil where it’s predictable, outlandish, and never succeeds yet they continue to hatch up plans like they will actually succeed because in reality they are all as dumb as a box of rocks.

[@shanevinson845]

Well… you think men can magically become women, so… let’s talk about sad

[@BrigitteBrigitte7]

OI

[@edwardblair4096]

So when a Republican speaks, it's a confession, right? I guess we know what she did last week!

[@ThreeRunHomer]

She’s twice divorced. Habitual behavior.

[@sawyerpooler7199]

Whatever raises the writers got, double it! Comedy gold

[@melpomathena]

That quiet "okay" after Stephen's "Meee and the whole debate team are coming over tonight" was just perfect

[@rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282]

I just LOVE the sarcasm!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@real_nelsonmaclain]

Why should GOP create problems they don't know how to solve 😂😂

[@vincentcomeau7844]

It's not onlynthat, but whenever the democratics assume power, they always have to clean up the GQP's messes.

[@alexsalazar765]

Democrats backed a handful of reps. Dems are not interested in functional government

[@firstlast-gn5bo]

So they can blame the Dems and Biden when things don’t work. Vincent is right, they’ve done it for decades. It’s all they have as nobody wants their policies.

[@texasca9753]

@@vincentcomeau7844 Yep, and the Republicans complain the Democrats aren't cleaning up the mess they left them fast enough. Vote Blue

[@angelikaopland7880]

The Former Republican Party doesn't solve problems, it creates them. Solving problems is harder so Democrats are just expected to do it. You're welcome.

[@johndavis6119]

Pundits are saying Gym Jordan may face indictment in Ga for obstruction of justice.

[@alex35agm]

I suppose Aaron Rodgers will refuse a shot of anesthetic when he gets his Achilles repaired since he's against shots,or any other painkillers.

[@TheSeppe]

Antibiotics are also produced by the pharma industry and can have multiple side effects- I bet he has taken those

[@caronstout354]

He could always "bite the bullet" by biting a bullet!

[@Billma48]

With all the bad news these days it is refreshing to watch this.

[@lynette3151]

That was the most perfect time to hear a... what's it called...? "Sad trumpet?" Added: wow, the writers ARE back, baby!!!! 🎉🔥

[@therose5783]

How can Keri Lake miss Trump when she’s constantly up his butt.

[@Evans1934]

How can these Republicans be so shameless

[@floris-janvandermeulen8054]

Years of practice as obedient apprentices of Sith Master Trump.

[@chonqmonk]

@@floris-janvandermeulen8054 Darth Dumbassorangeface has taught them to lie and to hate so well, just as long as the intended marks of the con have IQ's below 90, and lo, we have the entire republican party meeting that description...

[@roni6215]

Christians ?

[@johnshite4656]

@@floris-janvandermeulen8054 Imagine if Sith Master Trump knew Force Lightning. We'd all be effed in the eh. Though, I do think that Palpatine greatly overestimated the resilience of the Republic. He didn't need a grand strategy playing two sides against one another, slowly accumulating power in the process, to finally turn the Jedi army against them with Order 66. No. All he actually had to do was lie and lie and lie, and lie some more, and continue lying until he strong armed the weak minded into doing his will, and intimidating those in his party from going against him. Eventually the Jedi would get so tired that they just give up. Can't kill him because he isn't a 'direct' threat.... See? Force isn't required. Let's just be happy that Trump is as weak minded as his weak minded followers.

[@floris-janvandermeulen8054]

@@roni6215 You mean CINO?

[@TheShadowKing1988]

"Gumball choking on a gumball Steve Scalise" is so hilarious I almost choked on MY gumball as I was putting it in my mouth (don't worry, I'm okay)!

[@lindadean3374]

OMGOODNESS….Love u, Steve…. Have missed you SO MUCH!!! We need/must have laughter during these outrageous times!!! Vote..Vote Blue 2024…

[@michrae_j]

I love you and your writers Stephen. You guys are the best. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙃☮️🖖

[@ComradeCatpurrnicus]

Comparing Jim Jordan to a dog is an insult to all dogos.

[@thesilentangel8299]

Doggos are all very good boys and girls, Jim Jordan is not.

[@annahappen7036]

I was thinking the same

[@chonqmonk]

@@thesilentangel8299 The Doggi Lama is a McNab Cattledog that lives in Wisconsin. His name is Chonq.

[@Styphon]

My dog is a stupid little ... And still smarter than Gym.

[@rohns2952]

Dogs have lips, but this thing?...Jordan looks like human devolution visibly in progress. Starting at his face, and on to his brain.

[@maddog2314]

After hearing the "David Duke without the baggage" line I was wondering why so many comments were about Santos. A few minutes later and it all made sense. These people are absurd!

[@ingridfong-daley5899]

The whole faux-intellectualism feels stunning coming from the very party of people who want to outright ban books. She could try reading the book so she knows what it stands for the next time she intends to endorse it... She reminds me of those people that get a foreign-language tattoo, only to discover it says "a-hole" in their native language. (I was gonna say "a-hole in their native tongue" but it looked weird after i typed it.)

[@ggjohnson5754]

😅

[@terryoquinn8199]

CAREFUL ! You just turned on the entire right wing , at once ! They’ll have to boink each other .

[@wildflower1397]

😂

[@chonqmonk]

A friend of a friend of mine has "Kick Me!" written in some strange cryptic Asian alphabet on his back; he thought it was something to do with some anime crap he likes and got pranked - tbh dude has told me all about it numerous times but I tune him out so well I'm a little hazy on the deets...

[@Global00Vintage]

The worst part was watching her strut before the cameras acting like she owned people with that stupid red A. A cursory google search would have told her what she needed to know. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@corneliusdinkmeyer2190]

I was really waiting for a Sasquatch to go running past the window behind you! A Sasquatch streaker!

[@trutymeproductions5478]

“Ohio representative and dog in a man suit” made me spit my coffee out on my keyboard 😂😂

[@j0njn]

Mother Theresa also thought banning abortion and religious fundamentalism was more important than actually giving healthcare or other help, so it checks out. Speaking of checking out, the Scarlet Letter is on the list of most banned/challenged school library books, so no wonder she didn’t get the point of it.

[@firstlast-gn5bo]

Yeah, she was no saint. Another title erroneously awarded by fat cats to keep the grift going.

[@deborahfreedman333]

I agree that the Catholic church does more harm than good, and Theresa was their creature. But, can you name a single public library that bans Nathaniel Hawthorne? I doubt you can.

[@j0njn]

@@deborahfreedman333 Can you name a single time I wrote “public library” before just now? I doubt you can. Sarcasm and snideness aside, I suppose I could’ve been clearer that I was referring to school libraries, but thankfully there’s an edit-feature here.

[@silviavousden3316]

I think one of the slogans for the upcoming Democratic party's election campaign should be 'No More Chaos'.

[@carolmiller5713]

Oh thank the lord - "Man in a dog suit"! 🥳😂 I will never hate Gym Jordan again - I'll just forever see that photo and have a good laugh. Thank you again Colbert.

[@rocko_M]

1:06 ‘DOG IN A MAN’s SUIT @JimJordan 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂!!!

[@mattmanley7118]

So glad your back Stephen ❤

[@TheFriarduc]

GOP more into performative politics. Fun to watch, but dangerous for the world.

[@atomseyes]

If you ever insult dogs by comparing them to Jim Jordan again we are going to have a serious problem, Stephen

[@karmaalstad5588]

Or cats

[@meh8982]

Yeah, a dog in a man suit would be such a VAST improvement over any of the Republicans in congress - especially JJ.

[@rotterdammer5243]

St. Tartar, Inventor of Mixing Bowls, charmed.....I could`nt stop laughing. Cheers from Quebec!

[@michrae_j]

Oh my God! Lookout. Sasquatch is high. Thanks Colorado. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙃☮️🖖

[@jongmod9440]

Yes Lewis, say it isn't sooooo.......thrilled to see you guys " back in the saddle, AGAIN! "

[@johnkraus457]

I just had a chilling thought. Is it possible that there are two less qualified people to be speaker of the house? It really gives one pause!

[@kenbrown2808]

well, there are boebert and gaetz.

[@chonqmonk]

I've been having similar thoughts about the White House...

[@Heather-xz8fk]

George Santos is less qualified.

[@CrymsonNite]

If I had federal charges filed against me, I would be fired, if not in prison. LOCK THEM UP.

[@thesaintst1851]

Stephen!… you’re cracking me up!😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@AlisaFoster-rc2pw]

This was an excellent monologue! It didnt seem like your audience got all the well written jokes though, sadly ! Nicely done! lol

[@jdantigua1999]

He has multiple names and personalities. There is George Santos the Senator, there is Anthony Devulger the business man, there is Anthony Devulger the LGBTQ MAGA activist, there is Tiarra the drag queen, the Jewish descendent of holocaust survivors. He has an infinite list of names, titles and personalities. Which one are you voting for?

[@OzvenomDnD]

He's Roger from American Dad

[@seanmac80]

Art Van Delay, Importer-Exporter.

[@happytoday333]

50,000, he is Donald Trump lite.

[@LongShen1985]

I'm voting for none of the above.

[@terryoquinn8199]

I’m voting for the most punchable face in government !

[@heyheytaytay]

I love Aaron Rogers' aggressive stupidity. If only he used that aggression to play fb better.

[@Kyloki87]

"Dog, in a man suit" at 1:03. 😂

[@wittleMermaid13]

Did Lewis actually use a toilet plunger to do that "wah wah" sound??? 🤣

[@jimkear6749]

Confusion over the "Scarlet Letter" is the consequence of banning books. Mace needs to get a GED from an accredited state. #rebootgop

[@DigDug_The1975]

“Colorado residents. Guard your jerky,” is what Lauren Boebert was trying to show her supporters during Beetlejuice. 😱