Comedians Tell You Not To Have Kids | Netflix Is A Joke

People with kids, look away. Childless adults, consider yourself warned.
Hannibal Buress: Miami Nights, Mike Birbiglia: The New One, and Ricky Gervais: Humanity are now streaming on Netflix.
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[@nursultantulyakbay7070]

Lol Gervais roasted the hell out of his unborn son.

[@trippsmclovin]

Chemotherapy. Sorry son luck of the draw.

[@TJWallace1998]

@@trippsmclovin as a childhood cancer survivor, that was my favorite part😂

[@trippsmclovin]

@@TJWallace1998 aye! ✊✊ good job kicking cancers ass!

[@ajvillegas2107]

@@TJWallace1998 congratulations but now pay your parents back

[@catscan2022]

And kicked it to one side as well LMAO. 🤣 I can just imagine people (particularly paremts) saying cot deaths no joke. He wouldn't be saying that and people wouldn't be laughing if they were parents lol

[@Handle70770]

I've been called selfish for not having kids. I'm like "explain that sh*t".

[@YourPoint1981]

Man, I have 3 kids and I’ll say this... WHOEVER TOLD YOU THAT IS HATIN.

[@hiram9999]

U gotta replace yourself

[@sweetshopadmin7779]

Those people are called 'jealous' and as a mother of three I'd call you smart!

[@racheljones304]

As a person should be about their own life

[@priyankareddy4582]

I've heard this way too many times.. My reply - "Could you please explain how you having kids was a service to the society?"

[@JediZombieMedia]

As the father of triplets.. I agree with everything said here

[@shaec3405]

Hahahaha

[@radiochickpro]

Savage 🤣🤣

[@kurusegawa8064]

"The" father of triplets? Wow i didnt know there was a god for that too.

[@gerardsmith6548]

Just name on Isaac and the force will "hash it out"

[@THEDRAYNIC]

😂😂😂

[@UnderTheTableGremlin]

“Pay for my chemotherapy” that always cracks me up

[@k75760]

Perfect thought to run thru your mind during a meeting..... Or a funeral! 😂😂

[@coachhbosoccer]

"I refuse to keep 3 of the same baby" 🤣

[@lvi8957]

😜😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lovelylanafansweetie4240]

😂

[@RedNucleus42]

As a woman who just turned 40, I have had 22 years of family, friends, and strangers alike consistently try to make me feel guilt about not wanting kids, like I’m incomplete as a woman.🖕🏼🖕🏼

[@giggityking6505]

Yeah, people should not force each other to do something they don't like doing.

[@AnaMariaCratib]

Suggest them to do heroin or something.. say “that could be fun for you too”

[@chillvibed]

People dont know who to mind their business. Its honestly disgusting

[@lolahernandez6871]

I'm turning 40 soon and still get the " You still have time to change your mind" line 😄😄.

[@giggityking6505]

@@lolahernandez6871 Like you'll ever do that. 😃

[@ApexGale]

Kids learn from their parents the most. And what I learned from my parents growing up is that they really shouldn't have had me and my two sisters.

[@thebrittdrake]

SAME. So much of my decision to not have kids is a result of growing up with two very immature, mentally unstable parents who started a family way too young (20 & 22) before their own brains were fully developed, before they ever had a chance to experience their marriage or adulthood childless, before they ever took the time to be introspective and work on their traumas and toxic behaviors or even learn how to communicate effectively. Now they are in their mid-late 50’s. My mother has grown a lot and my father a little. My childhood would have been much less tumultuous and damaging had that growth occurred BEFORE having 4 kids. Just sayin.

[@TheSkulleh]

I'm the only child and in my 30 years I've figured out that I was made at least 20 years too early, like fuck me those people were not parent material.

[@tldoctor2497]

@@thebrittdrake I’m 22 now, most of my friends have kids. I don’t even know if I want kids, I’ll know in a few years

[@thebrittdrake]

@@tldoctor2497 I Had a similar experience at 22. All my friends had kids and it became quite lonely being one of the few who didn’t. Ended up leaving the suburbs for a more major city where not having kids till your mid to late thirties is the norm and thoroughly enjoyed my childless twenties. 36 now and still not sure if I’ll ever have kids but I’m open to it.

[@tabi122]

I learnt that my parents shouldn't have had kids, not because of the way they take care of us (which is the case for some people but luckily my parents are lovely), but because I have seen the way my siblings themselves act and it looks like absolute hell 😂😂

[@putrijoyceirawati2638]

One of the reasons I don't want kids is because I know for a fact that I'll be a fucking toxic parent and end up ruining my child mentally one way or another intentionally or unintentionally. And people still say "Oh but you'll change your mind. You'd make a great mom!" And you know me better than I know myself, how?

[@tanyakasim3988]

I've heard similar comments when I was younger.

[@koastalsandibum8722]

People still try to spit this mess to me. They've been trying to change my mind for 20 years. No thanks. 😂

[@tanyakasim3988]

@@koastalsandibum8722 People outside of my family have been spitting this nonsense to me, too. 😂

[@lighteningsnips]

That's exactly why I don't wish to become a mother as I feel that I would resent my child for impeding my independence, and no child deserves to feel unwanted.

[@boosqueezy2418]

i get the same thing!!! i’m not cut out to be a parent, and it would be selfish to the child and society for me to have one bec i am being shamed into it. i’ve been hearing that “i’ll change my mind” for over 40 years now lol i’m happier every day that i didn’t fall into that trap. not everyone should be a parent. if people don’t want kids, don’t try to guilt-trip them into it. i know me. i don’t have the patience or energy for parenthood. many parents shouldn’t be parents... can anyone argue with that? why create something only to resent its existence? most parents i know admit that they made a mistake...and the others simply won’t admit it lol it’s fine for people who want kids, but there is nothing inherently wrong with those of us (esp women) who don’t.

[@noviceatthis9304]

"Never picking the 1st newspaper at the stand guy" is me😂

[@ArkaeaFCL3]

Same. I don't pick the first plate on a stack or the first napkin either.

[@bryanquinn8565]

"Never picking the 1st newspaper at the stand guy" is me😂

[@tolloromassi99]

YUP!!! 😆 I do this with groceries too.

[@shizukagozen777]

​@@ArkaeaFCL3 Same, but also same with lots of random other things. And I throw away the first bit of toilet paper in public bathrooms. 😅😂😂

[@madisondeitch8053]

I was always the one who didn't want kids. Kind of tired of everyone making it seem like it's only men who don't want them.

[@tanyakasim3988]

You're not alone. It was when I was in my twenties that I decided not to have children. It's not just carrying them, but raising them and putting them through college later on.

[@koastalsandibum8722]

Same here. I'm 40 and I still have no desire to have children. There's nothing wrong with it at all! It's the life choice that we chose! 😁

[@Bisexualdragon4042]

My sister doesn't want any. Ever. She said if she had one she'd give it a knife. If it can protect itself she'll keep it. 😂

[@koastalsandibum8722]

@@Bisexualdragon4042 Ha ha ha!!!

[@Testsubject99807]

I knew ever since I could understand what kids were that I never wanted any. As a woman my life is pretty great without offspring.

[@dude231ification]

What really hit home is when Ricky said you may never get your money back but they will put you in a home.

[@edithdlp8045]

I am 46 and handicapped due to s stroke and 2 of my 3 kids do not care about me at all, only the oldest does. I am sure if my oldest wasn't present I would be in a home for the elderly even though I am only 46 but disabled and cannot work.

[@senseiii3986]

@@edithdlp8045 dude this is heartbreaking, I'm glad you have your oldest.

[@incorectulpolitic]

YES! Be fruitful and multiply so the' loving' and 'merciful' God can send 8- 9 out of 10 people to hell to burn for eternity. I mean who would God send to hell to burn for forever if breediots did not force innocent souls against their will into this hell on earth and then be sent to hell for forever by an all 'loving'/'merciful' God. Breeding is so moral, ethical, rational, logical and un-selfish.

[@metatron478]

The way I see it, kids aren't obligated to wipe their parents asses when they get old. Even without kids, you might still end up in a home. Or on the streets.

[@lizarrington3636]

I don't want kids. The women in my family say childbirth is beautiful. I saw my sister go into labor and that shit wasn't beautiful. I have my nieces and nephews. I'm good.

[@angeloacosta9411]

I'm one of 10 children. I told my mom when I was a kid I'm never gonna have kids... I never did... I'm almost 50. Dodged some bullets along the way. Lol

[@lizarrington3636]

@@angeloacosta9411 lmao. I'm one of 5 kids.

[@GadgetMsGadget]

@@angeloacosta9411 I, too, knew at an early age that I didn't want kids. #notsorry

[@elizabethpizano1216]

Its good to know what u want out of life and ur right childbirth is not beautiful but seeing your child for the first time is. Love on ur sisters babies be the cool auntie ❤

[@lizarrington3636]

@@elizabethpizano1216 Obviously the babies are cute. But girl I saw things on those days and that's was when I said no kids for me 🤣🤣

[@HannaMagdalena]

"what do I want three of a kind for, this ain't texas hold em" I died xD

[@sevena.channel]

I love my non-existent kids so much that I won't be bringing them into existence into this awful world.

[@Simplelivingslowliving]

Smart.

[@fulol]

bingo kzbin.info/www/bejne/jZeqfoyaltF2orc < when u say awful world, the only clip i can think of to best capture those feelings would be this

[@leemurray4158]

Emo

[@coachhbosoccer]

Chrissakes Gervais absolutely ripped his own kid that hasn't been born yet lol

[@torygrace3499]

The whole point of the bit was that he won't be having any kids lol

[@frummel403]

Haha yes, but leave the 'yet' out.

[@Dylan-it5vi]

Totally normal behaviour

[@WilliamJulienNkogheOlympio]

I'm with hannibal on this one. Being an uncle is awesome. You are like a parent with all the perks and none of the cons. And better yet, I'm a Guncle. We are the best kind of uncles.

[@abowlofsalad8812]

👍

[@tiffanyf6114]

Also, Hannibal is a damn hero to humanity!

[@austinfontes3906]

A guncle? Uncle with a gun?

[@WilliamJulienNkogheOlympio]

@@austinfontes3906 Guncle = gay uncle

[@mikemegadeth4110]

It's great uncle. My great uncle stew is my father's mother's brother. My dad didn't want us calling him great so we stuck with plain old uncle lol. Then I saw the word gunkle and was like, dude! Great uncle! Gruncle! Plus, gravity falls?

[@catscan2022]

"It's worse than a disease because they want you to have it too" 😁 Not only funny but very true! 👏👍

[@raebutler1407]

I'm 45, child-free, and I have never regretted the freedom that choice brings me.

[@Alice_Walker]

I just turned 43 and SAME 💜

[@KingJulian628]

Parenthood isn't for everyone & actually I highly respect people who can admit that they're not exactly ideal parent material (not for any bad reasons.)

[@BoringTroublemaker]

@@KingJulian628 My husband and I are 40 and I’m sure we would be great parents but made a well reasoned choice not to. Most people I know know who chose not to have kids actually would be as well because they have self awareness and insight. It’s usually the people who use terrible judgement, don’t consider the long term consequences of their actions, and have a problem with accountability and responsibility who end up having kids when they shouldn’t. I think it’s interesting that this kind of comment is so frequently thrown at people who choose not to have kids as a kind of back handed compliment when it’s simply untrue.

[@KingJulian628]

@@BoringTroublemaker by the way I wasn't insulting, I'm saying as someone who is highly self aware I can applaud people admitting their faults even if it's nothing big. If they feel like they're unfit or just don't want a kid that's their choice entirely. I didn't mean it as an insult if it came across that way, I just know plenty of people who say "I'm not fit to be a parent so I'm not having kids."

[@KingJulian628]

@@BoringTroublemaker 'I highly respect people who can admit they're not exactly ideal parent material (not for any bad reasons.)' I wasn't trying to throw an insult, nor did I go into specifics. I meant in general for whatever reason, it doesn't bother me if other people have kids. A woman's body is her choice, & it's not my life why would I care. I wasn't passing judgement just making a comment that I thought was positive but ig not lmao.

[@AyeshaKhan-gp9on]

As a teen who's terrified and disgusted by any potential parenthood, I agree with everything in this clip.

[@funguscake]

I was totally disgusted by parenthood too up until I had a kid! Not saying you'll change but I did(was in my late 20s). As women there is too much pressure to have kids! My friends were in their early 20s having kids! You need to have fun first and live life!

[@franny5295]

You're supposed to be terrified and disgusted by the idea of parenthood right now. I swore I'd never get married and then I fell in love with a guy. Continued to swear I wanted no kids and something happened in my early 30's. We had a child and I wouldn't trade him for anything. And it's a good thing because kids can make your want to throw them out a window.

[@Britta_no_filter]

When I was a teen, I was fucking horrified by the thought of having children. I still am 😆 I’m in my 30s and very thankful to be child-free.

[@AyeshaKhan-gp9on]

@@Britta_no_filter mood 😂😂

[@Juauka]

Damn all these people being like ‘ohhh but I felt the same way and then I had fifty kids and I’m miserable but it’s worth it!!’ Nope, let people not want kids. With society progressing the pressure to have children isn’t as extreme so younger generations aren’t going to sacrifice their aspirations and goal for kids like you did. And that’s okay, stop being creepy and weird. People are allowed to have different values to you, even young ones.

[@weltschmertzz]

How am I being childless make me selfish? Try asking people why they wanna have kids and I guarantee none of those reasons have the child's wellbeing in mind. Most of the reasons are for the parent's own fulfillment.

[@isabelmoraga7036]

Omg. This!!! Everyone is like " I want a little mini me" I'm like I don't. I have issues and don't want a mini me with issues 😂😂😂

[@KR-te8kw]

Thank you!

[@just.a.regular.guy233]

Because they want their kids to wipe their asses when they're too old to do it themselves

[@rashaunjones1027]

Saving this for people who cry to others for not having children.

[@im.olivuhh]

This bloodline ends with me

[@koastalsandibum8722]

Same here!

[@stephaniemcdonald1244]

Same here and no regrets.

[@avocado3-in-182]

My legacy will be passed on to my future dogs and cats

[@Melly16yr10]

I’m in 🙋

[@georgecampbell9638]

Same here. I’d make sure that if I ever end up having nieces or nephews, god have mercy on their souls

[@vito7361]

"pay for my chemotherapy" Jesus Christ that caught me off guard 😂🤣

[@lucyespila3401]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 i tell you!!!!!

[@kennethhammer7611]

I thought his comment was kind of fucked up to be honest with you like why wouldn't you pay for your own son's chemo

[@coffeelover5353]

Finally a compilation about not having kids. I'm telling you, kids are overrated man.

[@JLewisRacing927]

F*ck (and I cannot stress this part enough) dem kids

[@beebeetee2926]

Children can be funny and sweet but having children is overrated.

[@fendajamma]

My children are my world! Wherever they live now I hope they’re doing great!

[@chrismyth8978]

So y'all really think talking shit is gone help y'all's karma is inevitable

[@KE-yq2eg]

There is a depopulation agenda, so the government is quite pleased people are brainwashed to think kids are overrated. Soon it'll be advertised not to have kids.

[@chriskeiser5809]

I love my kids, but there are zero other kids I like. Sorry to my nieces and nephews, but I like exactly two kids.

[@Bricks3374]

Dam a real piece of shit then?

[@Bricks3374]

@The Prospectors yes, yes you are the piece of shit you think you are

[@sharnice4366]

Like they say you dont gotta like them to love them😂😂😂. I love my nephews but sometimes i do not like them😂😂😂

[@twelveseventeen_]

Yep. Love my daughter and my best friends 2 kids, but every other one, drives me insane. Especially my 3 nieces.

[@shaec3405]

.... Wait ...wait ... you like your own??!! Huh... I really like my nieces and nephews weird. Hahahaha.

[@sarahferguson0]

Funny story. So my kids are 10 years apart. When my youngest was an infant we were all up on night because of colic and it was about 3am and I'm just pacing the floor with this screaming devil child and my 10 year old walks up and says, mom, maybe we should have gotten a puppy and my husband is like, naw puppies are still trouble we should have gotten a goldfish 🤣 and to this day when I see kids acting up in public I think to myself, should have gotten a goldfish 😂

[@amosombengi5932]

😂😂😂😂

[@ej2507]

Hahahaha

[@allisonpuig]

i am so glad I'm not the only one who's had a similar thought

[@juiceboxbzrk]

I'm just curious enough to want to see what kind of goldfish can disappoint you here

[@AnnihilationXable]

My little brother just got goldfish. I already like them more cuz they aren't screaming every morning before school

[@Ashery193]

Life is too short to spend my time taking care of children. I am contented with a partner who wants to explore the world with me.

[@laj4186]

Absolutely

[@brittanybpeterson1]

Not having kids is good for the environment

[@koastalsandibum8722]

I agree. The Earth is overpopulated. Not adding to population is my responsibility. I'm 40 and offspring-free by choice.

[@KarldeRavin]

I’ve never heard Mike Birbiglia before. He’s hilarious

[@craftiwench]

Check out his Netflix specials. He also has a movie on KZbin... he's fantastic!

[@elwalther21]

I saw him live and it was way worth it. He has a crazy sleepwalking condition too. Definitely agree to check out his Netflix special.

[@liamquane4701]

He's also a great father...lol.

[@leprechaunluck24]

Glad you found him! He is good.

[@sihamharchli]

He has kids now ? xD

[@kpeezyforsheezy]

As my Dad always tells me “if I would’ve met you kids before I met your Mother, you wouldn’t be here.” As a 34 year old woman who does not have kids I now understand and am beginning to believe that “joke”. 🤣 *I made sure to send him this compilation so he knows other people make mistakes too*

[@zb3495]

My father told me never to get married and he can’t say I didn’t listen.

[@zb3495]

I’m 43 and never once though “I WANNA HAVE KIDS” and if you don’t feel that way you shouldn’t have them.

[@echo.echo08]

I'm lucky to have parents who don't pressure me into "continuing the bloodline" but we do still have relatives who say and believe that women aren't truly women until they become mothers. They might have a few moments of joy that they claim are worth the rest of their miserable lives, but I'm not for that shit. I'd rather have few moments of struggles in a blissful carefree child-free life, thank you very much!

[@priscilalondon]

My best friend asked me today to have a baby. She has a pre teen and a newborn, I said not, thanks, I enjoy my sleep. I am happy to be the cool aunt.

[@umsrum]

I would say not having kids is fine but I would also say that kids to give a lot of Joy and are often funny so even though they are stressful they are also loving and funny. I would say worth having if you want them.

[@KaritKtana]

I feel exactly the same way. Most people don't believe that I mean it, and patronizingly tell me I'll change my mind, but I think they just don't like someone making a choice that's different from them, and about which they maybe didn't really think that deeply, it was just a given. In any case I'm glad there's more of us out there, sending you happy, sleepy, child-free vibes! 💖

[@2Greenlid]

If you don’t want a kid, don’t! For everyone’s sake…I just enjoy the family life but it is not for everyone….

[@RedNucleus42]

And I love how people never tell men that they aren’t truly a man until they become fathers. It’s such a sexist double standard viewpoint that most assholes don’t even understand they have.

[@AD-eg9cw]

I don't want kids because I'd constantly be worried about them. The world is a dangerous place.

[@cheyennemurray4491]

Exactly

[@romaneros4583]

Ricky speaks with hilarious blunt truth.

[@aceboogie901]

“The referee is heartless” 😂

[@dameoftherose8400]

The Hannibal joke makes sense, I never eat off the top plates

[@patriciaa4451]

Childfree for life.

[@ChaiTogether]

Real shit.

[@lovelylanafansweetie4240]

Same

[@jessicaatkins3173]

Ricky is ruthless 🤣

[@aquarium985]

And that's why I prefer cats. They can take care of themselves.

[@TrishC5280]

Fact 🙋🏽‍♀️👍🏽

[@Melly16yr10]

Truth

[@Leo-nine]

Everyone: when are you having kids? Me: never Them: why not Me: I don't want to. Why do you want to have kids anyway ? Them: uhhhh ummm well... That's just what everyone does. Right? That just never seemed like a good enough reason for me.

[@slothisasin8240]

I understand your point, but if you want a better answer: I want to have children because I love how children are, I love humans in general but children are even better, they are energic, inspiring and complex beings (apart from being super cute). I know many people who don't want children and I respect that, but some people just likes kids - not everyone feels like it comes from a societal pressure.

[@user-jy3zl2vp4b]

@@slothisasin8240 I wanted to have children because I love how children are.....but I haven't find a man who knows how to properly care for children or for me.....so without a husband, I haven't had children. But there ARE societal pressures! Yet my values to marry a decent human first, was stronger than their pressures.

[@mztweety1374]

I have three...I get it

[@incorectulpolitic]

@@slothisasin8240 YES! Be fruitful and multiply so the' loving' and 'merciful' God can send 8- 9 out of 10 people to hell to burn for eternity. I mean who would God send to hell to burn for forever if breediots did not force innocent souls against their will into this hell on earth and then be sent to hell for forever by an all 'loving'/'merciful' God. Breeding is so moral, ethical, rational, logical and un-selfish.

[@driley5004]

THIS🤜

[@mattcory619]

if we have triplets.. were gonna have to give one away this aint texas hold em lmfao

[@hagridsdisappointingson769]

"Oh...dead." Me with every plant I've ever brought home.

[@kunta511]

Forget the pampers lol 😂😂😂

[@lostinsauce4515]

This clip is the most energy I've ever seen Hannibal have but it still seems like he's slightly stoned lmao

[@mirimarina6387]

-...do you love me now daddy? -NO 😭😭😭

[@mattmcgovern6448]

Love when Gervais laughs at his own jokes.

[@lowkey_educationalaccount9759]

I don't blame him, they're hilarious regardless.

[@googlyguys]

I have two 3 year old brothers and i am 16 I feel like a parent and I dont want kids now

[@otaviofrn_adv]

Chris Rock said it best on Everybody Hates Chris: "when a family has more kids than parents, one of the kids get a kid of their own"

[@googlyguys]

@@otaviofrn_adv so true i love that show

[@otaviofrn_adv]

@@googlyguys here in Brazil everyone loves. It's a kind of cult icon (a good one)

[@FahadNazir007]

"I've lost a lot of friends to kids ..." This right here is the reason I'm not gonna get married any time soon. Better live the best out of life.

[@ananthusajith8395]

Tbh nobody cares man.

[@tristantriton8115]

@@ananthusajith8395 clearly you do as you took time to comment.

[@james.8060]

What? Marriage does not equal kids. wtf. you and your wife can still live the best out of life without kids... change that thinking!

[@PhelannaLWord]

STOLEN verbatim from Donald Glover!

[@p1nkfreud]

No reason you can't get married and just not have kids. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and married for a few, no intention of having kids ANY time soon, if at all. A happy marriage is a wonderful thing, and each one is unique, they don't have to follow some rule or template. From one man to another, the only thing you need to really be sure of is that you are in love with your S.O, and have been for a few years. You have to be mature enough to always be ACTIVELY committed to them, but connected to her enough that you know who she really is, and that the two of your "real" selves are fully compatible, and still love her more than anything and actually LOOK FORWARD to spending your lives together. That's all you have to know. I know I just made it into a whole paragraph but it's really just a few things. Anything else doesn't matter, as a team you can truly get through almost anything. It's so important for you to have both a good romantic relationship, and a REAL friendship with your partner.

[@gogoscorner1111]

Him: "oh.... dead" Me: ....Wait what? 👀 Him: "DEAD!" Me: Omg 🤣😂🤣

[@gogoscorner1111]

@Orange Blossom 😂😂😂

[@neuteredbynature]

Reset that bitch, like it never happen 😏😂

[@EbTheeAmazon]

Cheers to how many times he said Hampstead c*@t! 😂

[@boosqueezy2418]

smartest decision i’ve ever made is not having kids.

[@ekdaufin1485]

I feel guilty laughing so hard at Ricky’s last gag.

[@howardboyd7764]

49 years old, never married, no kids, the BEST decision I've made, no child support, alimony, headaches or aggravation......

[@UKLeonie]

Childfree for a good life 💃💃💃💃

[@hijabibeautiful]

You sound lonely

[@GLo1991]

@@hijabibeautiful You sound pathetic. You don’t know what lonely is.

[@hijabibeautiful]

@@GLo1991 no need to be mean. It’s just an observation. It obviously hit close to home

[@francmittelo6731]

@@hijabibeautiful How did you observe loneliness from what @Howard Boyd stated?

[@KyleWilliamsMusic1]

People who think having kids gives you purpose literally just have no life and no purpose. Kind of pathetic.

[@branon6565]

Having kids is tantamount to forcing lifelong debt and disappointment on oneself, on purpose....why the hell would anyone want to do that?!

[@tabbywang3884]

It is also a choice. Don't want them, don't have them.

[@DanielBParada]

Idk seems kinda fulfilling personally

[@ipsitasharma5125]

@@DanielBParada For people with boring lives probably

[@lizastarpeter4295]

Plenty of people do that to themselves without kids

[@incorectulpolitic]

@@ipsitasharma5125 which is like at least 90% of the sheeple, boring miserable lives.

[@meghanwilliams4295]

Nobody: Them: You would make a great mother!! Me: Who's gonna be the daddy?? Them: Silence...👀

[@bee12452]

This 😩😩

[@snicole3610]

I had a very similar convo and the person responded, " Well, you know sometimes, as women, we have to do things ourselves." What?! Now I'm a single parent to a fictional baby I didn't even want?! Wow. Sounds AWESOME.

[@meghanwilliams4295]

Sheesh...👀

[@lachlanwood61]

Don't let the bed bugs bi... Oh... Dead.

[@hopelltt]

“3 of the same baby” 😂😂😂

[@theodorealvarado1851]

That imaginary baby kick gave me anchorman vibes

[@adamholt4317]

Mike is so underrated, he knows exactly who he is.

[@elizabethgrogan8377]

"Forget the pampers lol". Now I am Dead! 😆

[@kackerlakensalat]

Ricky goes to hell, for the many reasons. But it calms me, I know, when I go to hell, there is him , makes the place worth going there

[@Soul_Killer95]

But do you think hell is playground?

[@tylerthagr8]

Good luck with that...

[@peggyandirene5288]

Loved it liked it😘, but your comma usage is a bit much😌.

[@ryantab]

I think hell is playground

[@cardhutt]

Lucky for you and him....magic is not real. Snakes do not talk. Water walkers do not walk

[@TheUnatuber]

Even a badass like Ricky Gervais knows his place as a cat servant!

[@launacasey6513]

Being an aunt or uncle is great!

[@DIGITAL7Media]

I heard a creative podcast speak about how many artists called their children "dream killers". I heard that early on and made a conscience effort to make sure I balanced my creativity and artistry with being a great father. Kids are a handful but if you can find your best balance, then it's pretty damn awesome. I love being a dad even though at times kids make you want to bang your head against the wall. I do hate the pressure women put on other women to have kids. Then it gets cult like.

[@incorectulpolitic]

YES! Be fruitful and multiply so the' loving' and 'merciful' God can send 8- 9 out of 10 people to hell to burn for eternity. I mean who would God send to hell to burn for forever if breediots did not force innocent souls against their will into this hell on earth and then be sent to hell for forever by an all 'loving'/'merciful' God. Breeding is so moral, ethical, rational, logical and un-selfish.

[@MidnightSonnet]

The last guy totally gets me. A bit of advice would be to be on the exact same page when it comes to kids before getting married. If one person wants kids, but the other doesn't, it won't work out. If one person says "not now, but maybe later" and the other is adamant about not wanting kids, it more than likely won't work out, because women who say "maybe" about kids usually want them later on in life once those maternal instincts kick in. I say that as a woman/nonbinary who has no maternal instincts, never wants kids, and has talked to plenty of women going through the "baby crazy" phase. It usually happens in their mid-twenties to early thirties. But I digress. My point is that you should talk about kids before settling down with anyone. You both need to be on the same page 100%. Kids are a huge deal and they shouldn't be brought into this world without a lot of thought and discussion. Be with someone who matches you on core values and goals pertaining to important life decisions, like children, marriage, finances, beliefs, and expectations. Don't settle. It's okay to leave someone if they're not a good match. You both deserve to have a partner that's right for you. Just make sure you decide these things before marriage so that you're not stuck with a painful and expensive divorce. Know your partner. Don't jump into marriage during the puppy love phase. See them at their absolute best and worst and have them see yours, too. Know their quirks, personality, flaws, mannerisms, attitude, etc inside and out. Live together before marriage. Trust me on that. You never know your partner fully till you're under the same roof day in and day out. My fiance and I have been together 16 years and we're still learning. Communication is key. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 😅

[@snacking5908]

“You call that a baby?” 😂

[@Senninha1960]

"But have you ever dropped a baby?"

[@bwanakelvin5555]

Hahaha I have never held a baby to completion 😂

[@kbcZed]

Anthony Jeselnik Will Drop Your Baby

[@earlofcockgobblingshire3666]

It's a good time

[@IAmJustR]

yes🥺😭

[@guilhermefarias5255]

I don't want to have kids I want to adopt I want to NOT go through the most nasty and tiring aspects of raising a child, like getting up at 3am, changing diapers, potty training and all that

[@liquidscenery]

Ricky Gervais has to be top 5 current comedians?

[@texantornadomma]

when did he get so good?!

[@liquidscenery]

@@texantornadomma if you like his stuff, listen to The Ricky Gervais Show and watch After Life. They're both brilliant

[@texantornadomma]

@@liquidscenery I am too scared I usually don't like him :(

[@sparklywastaken1426]

@@texantornadomma watch the first afterlife, skip the second.

[@Jesse__H]

I think he's a better comic actor than a comedian, that's just me tho 🤷‍♂️

[@ludmillagutomo]

"pay for my chemotherapy" "nuh - uh. not my problem, son" 😂😂😂😆😆😆😂😂😂

[@alanmott-smith9358]

It’s true. Once you have kids, fun is over.

[@androssteague]

I think everyone loves kids. They just don't like being parents. Also Ricky is insane 😂😅🤣

[@sumgirluknow1107]

🤣 I dislike children

[@earlofcockgobblingshire3666]

Kids are fuckin terrible The sounds The smells The gross sticky residue on their hands Gross af

[@xPsychoBunny]

You are wrong. A great many people don't like kids or babies. We don't like how demanding they are, how loud they are, how energy-consuming they are.... they are not interesting. So no, not everyone likes kids.

[@androssteague]

@@xPsychoBunny you're saying the same thing I'm saying you don't like the demand that comes with being a parent to them. There's no such thing as bad kids only bad parenting.

[@shinobusora]

Mmmm nope. I don't like kids. I tolerate them if I absolutely have to. They're sticky, stinky, annoying, boring, and the sounds they make are atrocious. Older children are only slightly less of all of those things and therefore only slightly more tolerable, but even they get on my nerves quickly. There are kids that aren't any of those things or are only some of those things, but they are exceptions to the rule. I would not enjoy being a parent because I don't like children.

[@ra_bi_ah]

This makes me sad I’ve never watched a Ricky Gervais standup lmfao

[@alexeybogdanov8070]

Why... Did... You... Cut after THE SECOND REASON I WANT TO KNOW ALL SEVEN!!! FOR F%+¢ SAKE!!!

[@Natalia-un4hu]

Right?! Wtf! 😅

[@EbTheeAmazon]

Netflix!

[@user-vm9ig4zs8e]

Don't get mad just because somebody didn't pay for your chemotherapy, kid. Sit down. BYE......

[@catiscray4133]

*makes shotgun sounds" "tou got bit" 😂😂 I died. I'm 35, my boyfriend is 23. All my appropriately aged bfs left me to have kids. This one will to, he just doesn't know it yet. He slips and says shit like, well my kids. And I'm just like cool, good to know this is temporary. Idk man. It's hard. He gets mad that I expect him to leave but he says shit like that. I have not seen one person I know, have kids and suddenly become happier people. Don't add a child to your miserable life with the expectation that kid give your life meaning. Then get disappointed and resent it when it doesn't. So many traumatized little kids out there with parents that use them like accessories. I guess maybe they will be good comedians someday.

[@lvi8957]

Yes!! 100%

[@rosadelrio5120]

Omg, I thought I was the only one with this issue: I never imagined how hard it would be to find a guy that does NOT want me to have his baby. They definitely get baby fever too.

[@catiscray4133]

@@rosadelrio5120 Nah, you're not alone. I have literally just given up on finding my person tho. I hope you have better luck. 🤞

[@rosadelrio5120]

@@catiscray4133 Sorry to hear, sometimes I feel like giving up too. It should not be that hard, judging by the comments there's an entire world of people that does not want kids, but where are they when you look for them? 😞

[@spocklover110]

@@rosadelrio5120 Maybe you can try online dating and try looking for men who don’t want kids?

[@die4race]

I've had suffered enough in life that I don't want to bring someone in life to suffer as well or even worse than me , Life is overrated , call me nihilist , pessimist or whatever , but that's the truth

[@AngeliqueRenae]

All so brilliant but Ricky you are legendary 😘

[@francmittelo6731]

After 10 minutes with my nieces and nephews, I am done. I am not about that parenting life. Also, children cost a lot of money, and they don't give you anything back in return. Let us be honest. LOL

[@Simplelivingslowliving]

Lol

[@DominationOC]

“ I’ve lost a lot of great friends to kids “ I think Donald Glover said that first but ok

[@celiabrown153]

Probably

[@carmensandiego223]

This was refreshing to watch!!😁

[@shizukagozen777]

The part with the kicks and stuff was truly the best ! FCKING HELL ! 🤣🤣🤣👏

[@mrs.w8193]

Some people should never have kids. I agree btw thank you for your service. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent.

[@incorectulpolitic]

some? I would say MOST.

[@angeleyeszarai]

This is the true Gospel right here 🙌👏👏👏👏👏

[@howarddavis3517]

Bro the pay for my chemo part🤯😅🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅

[@staceysturgill846]

I do have kids and don’t regret it, but I don’t understand why people concern themselves with other people having kids. I mean Ricky is right, the world is overpopulated. Also, I think if you’re going to be obsessed with the subject, worry more about the people having kids who maybe shouldn’t.

[@Shaeith]

Yaaaay! Finally people are coming around to normalizing living without breeding

[@israeltrejo5911]

On some real shit people should need a license to have a baby nowadays

[@incorectulpolitic]

YES! Be fruitful and multiply so the' loving' and 'merciful' God can send 8- 9 out of 10 people to hell to burn for eternity. I mean who would God send to hell to burn for forever if breediots did not force innocent souls against their will into this hell on earth and then be sent to hell for forever by an all 'loving'/'merciful' God. Breeding is so moral, ethical, rational, logical and un-selfish.

[@phasm42]

"... he's heartless!" 😅

[@crushingzero]

This was gold lol

[@kaitkelley3]

Bruh I'm a triplet, not identical, but dang

[@blackbird5634]

Child free and lovin it!

[@taylor75663]

😂😂🤣🤣😂same

[@joneri85]

Ricky is a ruthless Vato!!!

[@Him.TheOneAndOnly]

Kids are a bad idea if you are incompetent, irresponsible, immature (literally or metaphorically) and selfish, or if you don't have enough resources to even take care of yourself.

[@rootstone9883]

are there any other reasons, than selfish ones, to have kids?

[@Him.TheOneAndOnly]

@@rootstone9883 there's probably one or two selfish reasons to have kids

[@Him.TheOneAndOnly]

@aris B what's your list of good reasons not to have kids. I don't understand what is selfish about wanting to continue the family name of your ancestors, nor do I understand what is selfish about trying to save your broken relationship for the good of your kids. and if the reasons for having kids that you listed above, are the only ones you can think of, then I agree, you shouldn't have any kids.

[@sint0xicateme]

@@Him.TheOneAndOnly antinatalism. Life is full of disease and suffering on this hot, polluted, dying, crowded planet. Why should anyone have the right to snatch a soul out of the ether just for that person to suffer and die? Every cradle is a grave. And children should never have a job when they first come into existence- whether it is to make their parent's life have meaning, fix their parent's relationship, or keep their parents sober. Procreating is unethical because the unborn cannot consent to being born. Not having children derives not from dislike, but from love too great to bring them into this world, too limited, too vain, too cruel. A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung out into the cosmic brutality without hesitation. It is curious that while good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place. www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/antinatalism

[@Him.TheOneAndOnly]

@aris B I definitely agree that if you bring a child into this world with the sole purpose of your own material gain is selfish, and there are many people that have children for purely selfish reasons, and my point in my original comment was that if your purposes are selfish you shouldn't have children, and that many of the reasons for not having children are selfish,but I probably worded it poorly, and also can you explain why someone would have a child with someone they hate, so that they can stay with said hated person, or am I framing the problem wrong?

[@biffton440]

This comp hits home and I’m a parent 🤫 🤦🏾‍♂️😂

[@jesse_cole]

When you know a set of twins: *"Oh, you're a twin? Neat!"* When you hear a rumor of triplets in your municipality: *Triplets... what do they eat? Are they cursed? What should I do if I see one?"*

[@rangequeen]

I’ve lost a lot of friends to kids too, enjoy the tiny tyrants, F

[@AbhijeetMishra]

"i hope she gives away the first kid, cause I'm the kind of dude who, er, never picks up the first newspaper off the newspaper stand". That black dude killed it.

[@MA-fd6so]

you ever listen to waka flocka?

[@GLo1991]

That black dude? Bro that’s HANNIBAL

[@GLo1991]

His name is in the description 😂

[@Delia-ou1ju]

Idiot.

[@keriannmeyers1171]

During Ricky's set i couldn't help but picture him in the passenger seat while my 4yo kicks the back of his seat like he's running down an up elevator. I'm a single mom, the kid has heard me say to people, 'if we date you do not get to participate in any aspect of raising him because he's mine and he knows he doesn't have to listen to anyone but me😊'

[@cassiebones]

"Just You and Me and this kid that's a mix of You and Some Grad Student Jerking His Way Through SUNY Purchase" As a Purch Alum this killed me mainly bc I know at least half a dozen students who made donations just to afford their textbooks.

[@markawesome916]

only reason to have kids is to get the parental instinct upgrade