Nick Swardson - Plus One - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

In this extended clip, Nick Swardson describes taking his hard-partying friend to an event in Las Vegas (and how it was a huge mistake).
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/show...
Follow Nick Swardson on Twitter: / nickswardson
Theme by Run The Jewels. Purchase the LP here: apple.co/1ARsXOf

[@standup]

Looking for more This Is Not Happening? Check out comedians’ wildest drug stories here: kzbin.info/aero/PLD7nPL1U-R5pl-EsIsmgZTuS0t3Tm6EV8

[@ShaneKelley207]

Really looking for less shitty intros

[@aaronmullins7153]

@burteriksson cb'CD look 0Jarvis kkkplmokl l LLP pook90k kopp 0okĺ

[@ambroseambrose3699]

@@ShaneKelley207 Yeah man its not the 90s, we aint got time for that shizer

[@DocJamesH]

@@ambroseambrose3699 that's worse than 90s intros

[@dellorezvisaya1642]

@@aaronmullins7153to

[@Dustomatic]

I had a buddy who would make up these ridiculous stories, and while doing so he’d occasionally pretend to be cracking himself up to give himself time to think of where to go next with the bullshit. This reminded me of that a lot.

[@dazpatreg]

Ya

[@derekderek2570]

Bingo.

[@TheJessicahammerly]

My little brother does that 🤣

[@daveh4925]

you just made up a story about a buddy lying - that was you.

[@groowanderer]

Nick has told this same story several times. It's not made up on the fly.

[@phusionhead]

It kind of sounds like he literally made this story up on the spot.

[@Rand0m411]

Better than you could have done on the spot.

[@chriswilliams3084]

Rand0...you are right, we probably couldn't do better. But then again, we're not the ones claiming to be comedians...Swordon is.

[@sathanas420]

@@chriswilliams3084 so you're saying hes not a comedian? are you 10 and don't know his previous work?

[@chriswilliams3084]

@sathanas...I am aware of his previous work. You obviously missed my point completely. I am not claiming that Swordson is not a comedian. I am claiming that he is a comedian who, in this particular clip, isn't very funny. And just because I couldn't do any better doesn't make it funny. You see, me not being able to do any better shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. I have never claimed to be a comedian. Swordson, on the other hand, does claim to be a comedian. Which is why this piece of, obviously add-libbed, wanna be improv, garbage is very disappointing. Can you understand all of that? Or are you 10 years-old or something?

[@mcgavinfn7806]

Christopher williams every comedian has a bad set, but to say he isn’t great at improv shows how clueless you are. You do realize every Reno 911 episode was improv, right ?

[@ray1983able]

The older Nick Swardson gets the more he looks like a member of Mastodon

[@ethanswain64]

spot on.

[@MoeMentos]

Nick Swardsodon

[@rgaud8]

He's always kinda looked like the drummer, but he's starting to pick up the guitar now.

[@masihad-dajjaal7611]

lol I thought he looked like the guy from radiohead in the jigsaw falling into place video

[@BeRoyal37]

spot on

[@aquachonk]

Well, that's ten minutes I'm never gonna get back.

[@wibblers562]

I usually skip the intros but this time I watched it.... kind of regret it now

[@TheStrayHALOMAN]

I kinda wanna see more

[@treylyde999]

Thanks for the heads up since I skipped the intro

[@6plus6bar]

ARE YOU DOWN TO FUCK

[@hodun8]

Part of the alien agenda roll out plan. Covid

[@justmissj]

I think the intros are the worst.

[@BBAACKE]

I cannot wait for 20-30 years from now when I get to see how well his persona translates to old age.

[@Sir-Blaze]

0/10

[@Neyonius]

Bold to envision him living that long.

[@bruhwhat3608]

“Dude tells audience a story made entirely from the movie the hangover”

[@scatman3923]

Love it when he has to remind you that this is a true story lmaooooo

[@veryraredawson1645]

my favorite part was when he said “fuck”

[@Bigtimefithing]

I counted. 55 times in less than ten minutes ........FIFTY FIVE TIMES!!!!

[@ninjarider84]

And this is why we all love Vegas 🤷‍♂️ can you imagine seeing nick passed out under the guitar " bro...is that nick swardson" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@micahstevenson4450]

He sounds like when a middle schooler is trying to act cool by swearing 8x a sentence

[@ShaneKelley207]

If he wanted to act cool he should have shaved his mustache

[@sadtoast6122]

You wouldn't know her she goes to another school

[@lordmoldybutt1260]

@@sadtoast6122 doesn't apply here

[@lordmoldybutt1260]

But woman love mustaches

[@wishmeluck4933]

Dresses like it too

[@lelandlee5008]

DAMN HE BOMBED OUT HERE...USUALLY HAS ME ROLLIN

[@linuxd]

I feel the same way. Almost downvoted

[@roddydykes7053]

Poor guy, he was hilarious on Norm Macdonald Live. Top 5 guests for sure

[@yoyoz333]

why is he dressed like he's going to a Limp Bizkit concert?

[@rdooski]

Would it be better if it was a 50 cent concert?

[@MsJenjea]

Because he grew up in the 90s, lol

[@CW86228]

Got money before he matured

[@jimmbobb]

That's not Fred Durst???

[@veganpenguin9421]

He’s turning into Danny McBride

[@almeinert9545]

Watched all ten minutes waiting for a joke that never landed

[@warmbeer2]

Where can I find your stellar stand-up routine? Show us all how it's done.

[@chriswilliams3084]

"Where can I find your stellar stand-up routine? Show us all how it's done." Why would people who aren't comedians have a routine to "show us how it's done," as you put it? That makes no sense at all. Are you implying that one can't be critical of Swardson and this set unless they have a routine themselves? That is a non sequitur, which is a logical fallacy. I would venture to guess that most here are not comedians, or claiming to be comedians. But Swardson is a comedian. Let me ask you this: Where is your routine so that we can see how it's done? How about you teach us a lesson on why this set by Swardson doesn't suck big donkey balls. See what I did there. It's ridiculous to suggest that one has to have a comedy routine before they can criticize or compliment Swardson's performance in this video. One doesn't have to be a comedian to recognize a good or bad comedy routine. Here's another example of what I am talking about. For the argument's sake, imagine this: Let's say you had to have your left arm, for whatever reason, amputated. But when you came out of the surgery, you're told that the surgeon amputated your right arm by mistake. Would you be critical of the surgeon, even though you've never successfully amputated an arm to show people how it's done?You bet your ass you would.

[@randymcfarland6250]

Christopher williams I think that’s the best reply I’ve ever heard

[@yehoshuasmith5608]

I'm pretty sure this isn't a normal comedy routine. The whole point of this show is to tell ridiculous stories

[@MyNameIsEarl42]

Wait, he's a COMMEDIAN?! This isn't one of those "rock bottom" inspirational speakers?

[@keenandaviesg8187]

Almost Every comment is about how this wasn't funny😂

[@mattgarcia9518]

This was on a Delia type low

[@BrokeLogic]

I'm reading the comments while it plays...laughing more at the comments than the video.

[@ragginn85]

56 "fucks". Every 10 seconds. Bravo Nick

[@Bigtimefithing]

I must've missed one! I counted too! Ridiculous!

[@andrewt013]

this gives my stand up career hope

[@ikilledjerseymike9992]

how’s your career going ?

[@saucy2627]

He laughed more than I did

[@jstape740]

Yea..thats pretty typical for his act

[@rexcristallospada6496]

"Fukin [insert every sentence]

[@syedreza8722]

Yeah kinda makes his comedy awful

[@Calilou52]

This was just one long beeping sound when it aired on tv lmao

[@MrAndrewthedude]

I love these videos. every Tuesday I wait with anticipation for it to pop up in my inbox.

[@ChainsawTV1]

same here

[@MrAndrewthedude]

+ChainsawTV1 I'm not alone in this world. Lol

[@MoeMentos]

Didn't they upload this one months ago? Did they pull it and put it up again?

[@MrAndrewthedude]

+B. Smith I don't think so at least not that I can remember. in fact if they did I would have been mad and sad.

[@MrAndrewthedude]

wheres all the new videos at its been like two weeks since they uploaded a new one. WTF

[@thomaswood41]

He's been hanging around with Spade too much. Constantly laughing to himself and just thinking if he says words like "Jager" "coke" and "fisting" he will eventually form a funny sentence.

[@dazpatreg]

David Spade is trash

[@virg0_lem0nade]

YEP, perfect summation of this.

[@Liquidmetal702]

I live in Vegas. This is a Wednesday.

[@ThisOldHat]

Are you sure this isn't just a series of AA meetings?

[@gecks3464]

Thisold Hatte forreal.

[@lls_hennessy_1765]

😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@feliciajenkins5041]

😂😂😂

[@almightypanda8602]

The way he tells it sounds like it is all made up like wtf

[@veganpenguin9421]

Almighty Panda everything he says is made up lol, what do you expect when you tell “jokes” (not stories) for over 20 years

[@warmbeer2]

I take it you're not a fan of movies or tv then

[@MyNameIsEarl42]

He personifies the middle schooler who just learned to swear from a limp bizkit cd he stole from his older brother.

[@v.k.7463]

This story is crazy! Swardson is one of my favorite comedians! His figure skating bit is awesome.

[@jesseolson3142]

Its like he made this story up right there on the spot

[@djdarlabeathebest]

Nick gave me a hug at a comedy club in the early 2003! He was doing a bit on his Grandma & being so strong

[@_topikk_]

NICHOLAS! YOU'RE THE STRONGEST BOY IN THE WOOOORLD!

[@cmiller1164]

He was Classic on Reno 911

[@denise2126]

...and on Grandma's Boy!

[@i_dont_live_here]

He’s like “Yeahh totally”. 💀😂

[@brandonterlecky2332]

I feel like he made this up in the car on the way there. Definitely struggled this night.

[@tonygates1556]

Had a nice candle light dinner and went to bed LOL

[@meeks9388]

First time the intro is better than the actual story

[@primarypenguin]

this story could have been funny but the way he told it was not funny.

[@launabanauna8958]

Taylor The Warlock I concur.

[@justbeingawhiteguydoesntme2038]

Well, let's see you guys go up there and do it better. Oh, wait, You guys aren't comedians. If you guys don't like it tough shit! I found it pretty amusing, But it doesn't matter what we all think, because he probably made the amount you fools make in 3-6 months, so I guess the jokes are on you.💯 I'm sure there will be a couple of you crybabies that will try and message me back, but you will be wasting your time, you Took time out of your life to read my comment and I will never read the one you send me back! 😂🖕🏻👊🏼💥😵🖕🏻😂💯

[@mitchellzastey]

probably because it wasnt true... or at least my bullshit meter went off and when its not genuine its not funny

[@stoneystark5421]

Because he made it up

[@rachelevans6352]

I thought the exact same thing dude! He wasn't using memory vibes at all, sounded so false compared to all the others. Weird how noticeable it was too.....

[@Dogwaterjay]

After watching this I've decided too stop cussing

[@MyNameIsEarl42]

@Chris Winn Read more comments and stop wondering

[@Khoros-Mythos]

@Chris Winn Probably because it's awful.

[@adityakothari7466]

take a shot everytime he says fucking

[@BeKindToAnimals810]

Dont. You will die.

[@jamesgannon5875]

Don't mind if I do.

[@meeks9388]

The best part of this story was when it ended.

[@Tee-OhBee]

The CD release party he is referring to is Paris Hilton's.

[@rupertmurdoch4750]

she has a CD? As in music, not crossdressing, right?

[@adolphuslewis424]

@@rupertmurdoch4750 yes she has an album and it's mostly pretty dope. I think it's just called "Paris" but I may be wrong it's been so long since I listened to it. But definitely some good tracks on there check it out. Paul Oakenfold actually remixed one of her songs and it's a favorite of mine

[@warmbeer2]

@@rupertmurdoch4750 always good to upvote yourself.

[@rupertmurdoch4750]

@@warmbeer2 See how it was one and now its two? Dont you feel like an asshole.

[@nodiggity9472]

@@adolphuslewis424 Paul Oakenfold has remixed everything ever released since 1989.

[@bobloblaw9791]

They need to change the name to *this did not happen*

[@warmbeer2]

shut up you talent-less fool

[@LemmeBumACig]

He's obviously past his prime But that's ok He had a good run Grandma's Boy forever!

[@montanac223344]

Love me some Swardson

[@scottmiller8493]

I love this dood. "Seriously Who Farted" was An Awesome stand up!!

[@ashkrikorian5753]

Yea this story sounds super believable... I was actually at that casino when this happened. What he left out from the story was that as soon as Matt stepped foot inside the casino, Arnold Schwarzenegger came back in time, took all of Matt’s clothes and then went on to defeat skynet! That’s why Matt was able to get inside the casino and was left with his tighty whities... Was this some kind of terrible audition for the hangover movie or something ?

[@glennlittlebird4037]

10:18 is the most funniest part 😂

[@Kenny2k08]

It's like he forgot how to be funny but remembered that the word fuck is kind of funny so if he just uses it a lot his whole story, it will be really kinda funny...

[@ColeGraySucks]

I am so confused why everyone is saying he bombed when the audience was laughing the whole time and it was hilarious lmao very weird

[@polarvortex3294]

I don't get it either... Seemed like classic Swardson to me, and probably true, if you know anything about him. My best guess is that dissatisfied people are more likely to comment than satisfied people. I mean, did you ever have a good fast-food meal (back when we could go to restaurants!) and then afterward ask to see the manager? Nobody does that, basically. So if a manager heeds only in-person feedback he'd have to conclude few people liked the place, even if it was packed every day.

[@larryshepherd5380]

It's classic swordson, I thought he was great. The crowd seemed to like it too.

[@TAKERfan121]

For people of his caliber that is definitely a bomb. The crowd energy wasn’t with him. I’ve felt that feeling and it’s definitely here. Unfortunately..

[@jasonking454]

People don't understand the concept of this show. It's not a "set", it's literally just telling crazy stories. There's no punchlines or anything.

[@astrogallotron]

The chick with the pink hair distracted me the whole time

[@NickRoman]

Indeed. She kind of looks like Katy Perry, no? And when i say that, that's supposed to be a good thing.

[@NickRoman]

***** , haha just clarifying. You never know.

[@jerrymack95]

i kept noticing the guy to his right that looks like jeffery dahmer

[@danielcaleb8972]

yooo me too I thought I was the only one!

[@kwromney]

Yp

[@emersonhatina110]

Lol he bombed

[@lf2nd705]

Added laughing

[@themonopolyguy4365]

Well I hope everyone is right, I’m only 50 seconds into the video and going to the next one.

[@mr.yellowstrat3352]

The skit doesn't even start until well after a minute. You didn't even give it a chance. Lmao epitome of this generation

[@sunnydee196]

You were better off for it. This was sad and lame.

[@AS-vi1ms]

My favorite part was the frontier fiber optic ad at 5 minutes.

[@OD_G00N]

I watched this the other day, and every time this guy said any derivative of 'fuck,' I took a shot. I'm still recovering from the hangover.

[@stopallwarwithbubblebots5815]

My favorite part was when it was over.

[@martitinkovich4489]

That was the best!

[@brentmichalak3895]

We’ll there goes 10 minutes of my life that i will never get back

[@iancipollini9598]

Yeah this is like he's lying like making it up on the spot. Nobody tells an actual personal story like that

[@spicytrash4981]

I watched three minutes and couldn't. Nick ... you're funny. Wtf, man. Just ten minutes of him BOMBING it. Too painful.

[@Jason-gt2kx]

Wow Ari, I am glad you got a budget to make all the cool movie trailer style openers. Looks so legit! Keep them coming.

[@_topikk_]

This was uploaded 5.5 years ago, my dude...

[@mattwhatevz]

@@_topikk_ not everyone wears a watch. Appreciate the appreciation bro😂😉

[@shark11175]

He dresses like a sixth grader hahaa still one of the GOATS

[@lotusfire9429]

I want the last ten minutes of my life back

[@09orbit]

This shit was fucking hilarious man idk what y’all are talking about. Nick’s a legend.

[@davidotero9817]

It’s hard to nail it every time he’s a good comic

[@ExtremeModeration]

well said, brother

[@christopherkey2272]

I dont think I laughed once. im just staring at it.

[@sours4g181]

Comment section rough on this one.

[@johnnymac2895]

SOUR S4G I thought it was funny snowflakes just can't handle all the cursing I guess

[@jamesr.ackerman4131]

Not rough enough

[@franklinmason5912]

The best I’ve seen so far by far

[@jwildman95bamf]

Nick is hilarious in any movie or tv show he's in but he always seems so uncomfortable when doing standup

[@klebeau4]

i think its because he always tries to freestyle through his standups instead of writing

[@andensum9660]

Very true

[@tutinn_]

He always seems uncomfortable in the movies also lol that’s what makes it funnier to me, my opinion

[@brendanevo4g]

I have wilder nights than this ...like ugh.. every week

[@Enfolding881]

Man, this was a real bummer...

[@samdee1608]

Run the Jewels!!!! Nicely done!

[@speckledhound]

#1 way to tell when someone is lying is they repeatedly have to tell you they’re not lying...

[@bedtimestories690]

Your cat and dog bit was wayyyyyy funnier

[@Psyrecx]

When did Swardson start driving a semi?

[@ashbrandohd7334]

Y'all are crazy, Nick Swardson is a legend!!! I wish I had friends that were this funny my life would be a whole lot happier.

[@whocares8584]

You thought this was funny? I mean his movie & TV rolls are pretty funny but this just seem awkward & made up. Every1 has an off day doesntvmean he's always bad but this was pretty sad.

[@ihateyoutubecomments8100]

Yikes

[@reinaldoburgos5235]

Nick is a legend . Also wrote grandma's boy

[@yup3675]

I wish him and Covert would do another movie.

[@larsonfamilyhouse]

When there’s all that dope food then no microwave 😂

[@freshbluntsbywinny]

Yo asian front row is gorg

[@trevorschu]

MY WIFE

[@Chartoise]

Gorg? Dumbest name ever.

[@c0m4g1bb]

Chartoise i agree what kind of horseshit is chatoise. You fucking tortoise

[@thomaspayne6866]

Chartoise - ever? Like... ever?

[@ChuckNorrisCanSeeU]

Gettin blown while being blackout drunk? Sounds legit.

[@ChuckNorrisCanSeeU]

***** How do you even get it up once you are that drunk lol

[@ChuckNorrisCanSeeU]

***** Thanks for the mental image

[@Exigentable]

I was on Xanax once, talked my girlfriend into sucking me off while my buddy rolled a blunt. I fell asleep. that relationship didn't last long.

[@DustinRodriguez1_0]

If he'd been a woman, the story would have ended with police and therapy.

[@alejandrogaona8292]

It happens all the time. I was so drunk once my girl was too tired to have sex, she said she'll give me a blowjob I'm enjoying it less than a minute later she said I was snoring. I woke up naked asked her why was I naked. Lol then it all came back to me I swear I thought I had put my boxers back on and rolled into bed

[@doctorzaius4084]

I love Nick, but I gotta say this story was waaayyyy funnier when he told it on Norm MacDonald's show!!

[@mattgarcia9518]

reminds me of a chick telling u about her Vegas night when you're telling her over and over that u dont care

[@jessiemorrison4425]

Fucken eh

[@currentlycrypto]

Nick made this up and we all can tell ,

[@quintonwinslow9354]

He’s dressed like he’s about to go hang out with “The Weasal,” Pauly Shore.

[@glitchingberror1717]

My cap detector is reading off the charts

[@titofrost958]

“Don’t know how she’s a gay guy all the sudden “ coming from a guy that sounds like a gay guy. Hahaha

[@tractorkid223]

that's why he played Terry on Reno 911

[@Sammijeanjellybean]

Funniest part

[@cheesetheoriginalmres7727]

Me? No! Cuz i too like to chug le Jager And weeman? 😂😂😂

[@posthocprior]

If Nick reaches the age of 50, he should consider it like winning the lottery.

[@tylersmith7719]

Nick Swardson is a bro legend

[@matthewhorizon6050]

This is anything but legendary.

[@evandors]

When you don't have a story so you just make something up

[@wadestilwell4228]

Read a few of the comments before he started and I wrote this and left. Thanks you guys lol

[@darienhigh]

No one cares

[@wadestilwell4228]

@@darienhigh same

[@harvey2609]

That's ten minutes of my life I will never get back.💩

[@ladybug5093]

Since everyone in the comments says its made up, true or not true... thought it was super funny! Nick is classic.

[@lordmoldybutt1260]

He's funny in Reno 911

[@PeanutButterZombie00]

That time Nick Swardson drank himself into an X-rated version Twin Peaks.

[@storytimewithunclebill1998]

What a night. Had me rolling. Was fun to watch. Great video

[@marshmanno1342]

I used to believe these crazy stories he tells had to be made up, but I'm watching him age, and I'm starting to believe he really lives like that.

[@ColeGraySucks]

Whoa whats with all the negative comments??!!! This is freaking hilarious, is there some sort of conspiracy against actually funny comedy? Literally the people were dying laughing?? Huh.. weird

[@1Fiz]

I cant unsee that he looks like a male version of Amy Schumer. Lol

[@michaelweems679]

His face looks like Amy Schumers pussy. Like a truck driver, or been hit by a truck.

[@chasenoland9988]

Jokes are told. The online internet will judge. But this man did his stand up, hate it or not, and loved doing it. Love you Nicholas Swardsonight. Keep telling shitty stories and getting weirder looking!!

[@ATLsF1N3ST91]

4yrs later, I'm still waiting for the funny...

[@beaviscrews2650]

Can’t win em all my dude but that was a tuff watch

[@warc8us]

jaeger is like liquid crack that shit is not OK. Don't pre-game with a bottle of jaegar unless you want to end the night at 10pm passed out naked in someones back yard.

[@bamadeadhead]

1:33 “my friend”😂 a “hot chick”

[@blakeharris58]

Why does everyone hate the intros? They're ridiculous but this is a comedy channel.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Well they do have small fists, haha.

[@Deep_Dish]

Why the shit is everybody hating on Swardson???

[@quicklychosen2554]

Because they've never seen Grandma's Boy'. Smh