Common Pitfalls of Relationship OCD

If you're constantly questioning your love for your boyfriend or girlfriend, wondering if they're the right person for you, or feeling the urge to break up even though you don't want to, you may be struggling with relationship OCD (ROCD).
ROCD can cause significant distress and disruption in romantic relationships. I've seen it in dating couples and married couples. People with ROCD experience intrusive thoughts and obsessions about their relationship, even though they know they're irrational.
Common ROCD obsessions include:
- Doubting your love
- Doubting the other person's love for you
- Comparing your partner to others
- Nitpicking the person's traits or appearance
- Fearing that you're not compatible
- Worrying that you're not attracted
- Having intrusive thoughts about breaking up
- ROCD can also lead to compulsive behaviors, such as:
In this broadcast, I want to address some very common pitfalls that will hinder a person from working through relationship ocd with greater effectiveness.
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Disclaimer: The content published is for informational purposes. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in our material.
The resources given are not designed to practice medicine or give professional medical advice, including, without limitation, medical direction concerning someone's medical and mental health. Any resources given are not to be considered complete and does not cover all issues related to mental and physical health. In addition, any information given should not replace consultation with your doctor or any other mental health providers and/or specialists.

[@amelajay]

I'm a single mom of three... Just went out on a first date tonight set up by my coworkers... And I struggled even to the point of tears a couple days prior because of fear of this guy being a wrong pick. I simply asked God to be my guard, remembering that as my Father He cares for me. I had a great time after all and I'm just thanking God for the peace to have a simple good time. That's all I wanted it to be and that's what it was.

[@dubem6671]

I remember struggling with ROCD, and a lot of Christian “dating advice” made it worse🤦🏽‍♂️I made a commitment to inner healing, spiritual growth, and reframing my concepts of God and now it’s virtually nonexistent, for all Those reading, there’s hope for you too! You’ll overcome this

[@missadug]

Thank you for sharing this! It made me so hopeful!

[@dubem6671]

@@missadug you’re welcome! The feelings feel so real but it’s all the enemy taking advantage of our weaknesses, im on the other side in marriage and it’s been a blessing

[@ATX_YM]

@@dubem6671 how did you get through this? I’m still struggling !! It’s so hard for me, I want to cry from the constant doubts and anxiety

[@dubem6671]

@@ATX_YM I feel you! The truth is, there actually no formula! The idea that there’s a quick fix or a formula is the very thing that’s causing suffering. What you’re actually experiencing is unresolved trauma that’s manifesting in the form of constant doubts, overthinking, and anxiety. I made a commitment to heal by constant prayer, and renewing my mind By watching videos such as this, and after awhile the symptoms vanished without me even realizing. Be encouraged though! What you’re experiencing won’t last forever and really is just growing pains

[@user-ow7wo5ii9n]

is it also a common thing where you convince yourself that feeling is the holy spirit and then you immediately think that if you ignore it you’re idolizing the relationship by disobeying God😭

[@migo.ybanez]

This happens to me it’s crazy

[@ATX_YM]

@@migo.ybanez same!!! It’s so hard 🥺💔 any improvement?

[@dubem6671]

Yup I’m in the same boat! As someone who’s overcome this I realized it wasn’t the Holy Spirit, his leading doesn’t involve torment. When it’s truly him there will be no doubt, and this is coming from an over thinker lol

[@NikoFinn]

Thank you. You are a rare, christian voice on ocd and it sure is needed. The issues I face is usually that I make problems greater than what they actually are in my mind. Say I face a problem I see to be big. I start to obsess over it, my mind goes "bonkers" and works overtime, and now I got this increased anxiety when I could just acknowledge an issue, bring it to God, have a firm heart's stance on and with God that it will be ok, and now I just slowly take it step by step, but nooo... lol! As you said it is a process and we learn, fall and rise again, and I just hope we ocd-ers would change the mindset from perfectionism to grace-filled living and process

[@ninaharald9320]

Wow! Just finished one week of intensive rosen methode body work and really got a deeper honest look in the mirror. And I start to realise that this is what I’m doing, and when you said that these people put them self through strange tests…. It really touched me. That’s what I’m doing, and have been doing for many years, out of nowhere - the general feeling of it for me!! Thank you, it’s not fun seeing that it’s actually one self doing this to one self but I think I’ve struggled for so long that I’m desperate to actually make a change because the obsession doesn’t really take me anywhere - but more anxiety!

[@jenthompson9175]

Goodness I’ve struggled with this! I thought I was going crazy! I did get married 🎉 but still deal with it sometimes 😢 God is helping me heal and I’m so glad to have found your work!

[@forthejourney6895]

So funny to me how your videos are always right on time 😭

[@cookiequeenb8003]

Litterally!!!

[@salparedo]

Thank you for keepin it real seriously. This is OCD is common in a heck of a lot of the tribe. Mercy! So much confusion.

[@danielrblend]

Wow you just talked about me, this was eye opening

[@pragyasharma3216]

You man! Bro your advice is gem, I usually don't comment on any videos on YT but this was much needed. Thank you Ican get the gist of the video. Your way of explanation is just out of the world! Keep going and keep growing 💗

[@Tony-Pino]

I heard a preacher say "You don't need a new wife, you need more patience." Amen

[@tonypino5415]

Convicting. Man I still have a long way to go...at least I'm not where I was

[@angeldotel5786]

The amount of freedom and relief this video has brought me is amazing. Thank you so much, Mark.

[@Jesusandmentalhealth]

Great video and much-appreciated!! I struggle much with relationship OCD and unfortunately it has inhibited a lot of potential relationships in my life.

[@brianwestby1413]

I believe sometimes God DOES tell someone ahead of time who'll they'll end up marrying. I've met too many couples that heard who their spouse was ahead of time and are still happily married. The majority had zero interest in the other at the beginning. On the same note, I've heard of people "hearing from God" and it never comes to fruition. A couple were even supposedly told someone already married was going to be their spouse...lol. God bless all of you!

[@rolandsalas]

I feel like, I need to become the "right person", for my wife. I thank God every day for her. She married me! WOW 😮

[@DesertBlossomCrafts]

I really really appreciate this video. Called me out. Would love to see more videos on this and specifically how to work through the endless rOCD fears without having to break up. What treatment and healing in Christ really looks like. You are one of the only Christians I’ve seen talking about this info and with secular sources, it is difficult to sort through everything biblically. Especially with ocd lol.

[@colorfulthinker]

The way i was pouting during this video was shameful! 🤣 I've never been in a romantic relationship, but i have felt these spinnie feelings in platonic ones. When You talked about God's will and how OCDers want God ( or someone ) to make the decisions for them i was like "So what?!". I was only like that because i knew you were telling the truth. This was a very on time video, but i would appreciate it if you would stop reading my diary! 🤣🤣 All in all, i learned ( even if my conclusion may be off topic ) that God can't lead me or help me if i don't make a move. This healing stuff is gonna be harder than i thought .😬😅

[@dannyschaefer9434]

Think about it is easy doing it is hard we must trust in The Holy spirts voice

[@emmyty]

You are SPOT ON with so much of this...like those hypothetical tests...woah...but seriously, can I have Will's number?

[@Friendlyadhd10]

I been all over recovery channels about ocd. And they are slowly realizing that it's actually a journey like me. When I mean a lot I mean alot!

[@newtokyoterror]

best best best most enlightening video on OCD I have ever watched… thank you!

[@mileywhatsgoood]

THANK YOU for sharing this content. i have struggled with ROCD for years and hearing you talk about how Christianity can tie into it all helps me sooo much.

[@thehealingfairee]

This video gave me so many epiphanies!! Thank you ♥️ I appreciate you talking about wanting God to tell us who our person is

[@darcyd2680]

I would like to share. I agree on a lot of points in the video, but maybe God talks to everyone in a different way, but many times with me, I would have a disturbing sense "no that person is not for you" before I can formulate "why" and then something serious emurges ( lies or narcissist behavior) and that just proves to me I've heard clear right from God. His Holy Spirit can warn us before making important decisions whether on relationship, work, or else. The final decision is on us, but He can lead us to the right choices. And I'm learning to disern it and trust Him more in this. I guess the key for me is to keep walking, but have my hand open about that and this desicicion and ask Him to reveal to me what I need to know.

[@smokingcrab2290]

I just want to connect with my wife. Talking with her doesn't work. Trying to explain my personality and why I think and do the things that I do to her doesn't work. She gets incredibly defensive and all that happens is she ends up criticizing me and blaming me for her defensive feelings when all I'm trying to do is just make a connection between us so that we can feel like anything but roommates. I don't really think I have relationship ocd, I think that there are just a lot of normal requirements in a regular healthy relationship that just aren't being met. Whenever I share my inner life with her I get no response. Whenever I share my struggles or inner battles with her I don't get any love or nurturing. Whenever I try to ask her what's going on with her so that I can nurture her she doesn't want to open up to me at all. I've never been with such an emotionally independent woman. All of my bids for connection just fall on deaf ears

[@chrleliu]

I keep putting off dating to improve myself further, like quitting bad habits taking care of my finances, emotional healing etc so that I can be the right person for my future wife. Keep feeling I’m not ready for marriage. and I also think if I improve myself more I’ll have a better chance of finding someone who’s a better match or of better quality. Is that also a ROCD thing?

[@user-jh9qk5lf7x]

Hi Mark, nice to see you on here. I’m still alive… lol made it to 77 can’t believe it .Hope your wife and family are well. Did you stay down South??

[@user-jh9qk5lf7x]

Denise B

[@user-jh9qk5lf7x]

South windsor

[@user-jh9qk5lf7x]

Hope you’re still blowing bubbles💕

[@Sumadinac1389]

my rocd startet 3 years ago when we spoke about moving in together and than 3-4 months later my thoughts startet to run against my girlfriend..."shes ugly" look at her " i dont love her" you dont love her" and i made the step forward and we moved in and then there was the fear of the fear what if i think again about this ? and i startet again rocd hit me like a hammer we married and have a daughter we want another child. and rocd is still doubting me and make me insecure in my decisions but there is no turning back. Make a decision and stay no mather what is going thru your head or what you feel...is all illusion feelings are illusions is a product out of your mind...

[@doralaka9820]

Brother Mark, you may not have all the qualifications for a Therapist here on earth but I believe in heaven, you are given the Senior Therapist position, that I believe 😊

[@JohnSharpe-pu3nz]

There appears to be no audio track

[@Hollyfilly]

I can hear the sound...

[@jamiekeller9915]

I can hear, as well.

[@JohnSharpe-pu3nz]

It wasn't there when I started the video, must have been an upload hiccup. I was wearing headphones when it happened

[@PikuPiku8]

❤

[@emmyty]

Lol. Biblical approach looks so weird. It's nothing like the Hallmark movies. What's up with that? 😆